Chapter 36

By the time that Monday morning rolled around, Harry felt equal parts scared and relieved that the time for the interviews had finally come. He had woken up at just past four that morning and had been too nervous to go back to sleep but had instead laid awake watching through the magical window in his room as the sky lightened and the sun finally rose.

When he heard Snape moving around in the bedroom across from his, he quickly got up and dressed for the day. Figuring that he ought to make a good impression on the interviewers, Harry decided on a pair of tan slacks that Snape had gotten him and a blue button-down shirt. Harry even tried to comb his hair down though it did little good. When he was as ready as he would be, Harry left his room and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

For once, Snape wasn't there yet. Harry took his seat but only rested his arms on the top and put his head down on them. He didn't think he could handle anything to eat right now. Not with the way his stomach was churning as if the Giant Squid had taken up residence inside him.

"How about you at least try some toast?" Harry didn't even turn around as Snape entered the kitchen and took his usual seat.

"I can't. I'll throw it up," Harry rolled his head to the side so that he could see his guardian, who only looked down at him with a raised eyebrow.

"No, you won't, Harry. But if you're feeling this sick, perhaps I should get you a stomach soother?" With a put upon sigh, Harry sat up.

"Toast, then," he grumbled as he waited expectantly for Snape to tap the table. When his breakfast didn't immediately appear before him, Harry looked up. "Snape?"

Snape motioned towards the table and said, "You try it."

Harry rapped his knuckles against the table, but no food appeared as it did for Snape.

"Nothing happened," he said with a glare towards Snape. "You're putting me on."

Snape shook his head. "I'm not. Try it again, and this time think about what you want to eat. Be it toast, eggs, or my coffee. Don't forget my coffee."

Harry closed his eyes and pictured their breakfast before tapping the table once more. Instantly Harry's toast appeared on a plate with butter and jam. A glass of orange juice was beside it, and Snape's coffee sat in front of him as well.

"Excellent, Harry." Snape praised him, and Harry couldn't help but smile. Snape picked up his cup and took a sip before tapping the table himself so that a plate of eggs and toast also appeared. Harry chewed a small bite of his toast before looking quizzingly at Snape.

"You're not reading the paper today?"

"No," Snape shook his head as he spread strawberry jam on his toast. "I thought we might talk about our plans for Christmas."

"What about them? Aren't we staying here?"

"Is that what you want?" Snape paused in spreading the jam long enough to glance at Harry curiously. "I thought you wanted to spend it at the Manor?"

"I did. I mean, I do," Harry quickly stated. "I just figured that with the interviews happening, we would be staying here. And Ron and Hermione both stayed behind."

"If they have stayed behind because you thought you would be here alone, they needn't have done so. Unless you would rather stay here, we are leaving for the Manor tomorrow morning at the latest. Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger may floo home from here if they wish."

"I want to go to the Manor," Harry rushed to agree.

"Very well then," Snape took a bite of his eggs, and Harry went back to nibbling at his toast. "You haven't given me a list of what you'd like for Christmas, though. I will need it sometime this week, please."

"You don't have to get me anything." Harry didn't like the idea of Snape spending even more money on him than he already had. His room currently held more things than Harry had ever owned in his life, and he didn't need anything else. "You've already given me too much. I'm never going to be able to pay you back at this point."

At this declaration, Snape placed his fork down and stared at his ward. "I thought we'd already settled this. You will not be paying me back for anything. There is absolutely nothing that you've gotten since coming to live with me that you shouldn't have had all along."

"The Firebolt," Harry muttered.

"You needed that for Quidditch. You were never going to save enough of your allowance in time." Snape countered matter-of-factly.

"I could have gotten by on a school broom. Or even another Nimbus if you were so set on buying one."

Snape scoffed. "Then how would you have the fastest broom?"

"Sna-ape!" Harry whined. "We're not the Malfoy's. Since when do you even like Quidditch."

"I've always liked watching the matches. And Mum and I have a wager every year on which team will win."

"Who are you betting on this year?"

"Officially?" Snape said without pause, "Slytherin. Unofficially, you." Before Harry could open his mouth to say something else, Snape went on, "We're getting off-topic. We were discussing Christmas. You will get me a list of what you would like by the end of the week, and if you don't, I'll simply have to guess. Then I'll make sure that everything you get is in Slytherin green."

"Fine," Harry grudgingly agreed. "Can you take me shopping, too? I've got to get gifts for Ron and Hermione. And I think I want to get Remus something. But I'm not sure what."

"I'm sure he'll be happy with anything you choose. We can go in a day or so if you'd like, but I'm going alone to shop for you. I don't want you trying to find out what you're getting."

Harry nodded. "Okay, then. Can I see him today? Remus, I mean."

"I see no reason why you can't. Maybe after the interviews. Provided Remus is not busy. He is staying here over the holidays though I'm sure we'll see him on Christmas. If not before."

"I bet Dumbledore really likes Christmas," Harry said as he finished his toast.

"He is quite fond of-"

A knock at the door interrupted Snape's words, and they both looked at each other.

"Do not worry, Harry. It might not even be them."

"Who else would it be at nine in the morning when over half the school is gone for Christmas break?" Harry snapped back as Snape stood up and crossed the kitchen in only a few steps.

Harry followed him along and stood behind him as Snape went to the door. Harry was surprised to see a young woman standing there with a smile on her face when he opened it.

"Hello. Professor Snape?" she asked politely. "My name is Evelyn Bouchard from the Ministry of Magic Social Services Department."

"Do come in," Snape inclined his head and stepped away from the door so that she could move past him. "This is Harry Potter."

"Good morning, Harry," Ms. Bouchard said, extending her hand for Harry to shake. After a look from Snape from behind her, Harry held his hand out and took hers in what he hoped was a firm handshake.

"Good morning, Ms. Bouchard."

She smiled brightly. "Please, you may call me Evelyn." Harry nodded, but Snape saved him from having to answer when he motioned towards the couch.

"Have a seat. Would you like some tea or coffee?"

"Coffee would be lovely. Thank you." She then turned back to Harry. "Are you ready for Christmas, Harry?" Snape was disappearing into the kitchen.

Harry took a seat on the edge of the couch and nodded absently as his eyes followed Snape. "Yes." He looked back at Evelyn to see her smiling slightly at him.

"Have any big plans?" she asked as she placed the suitcase she had carried in with her on the floor beside her.

"Er...I'm not sure," Harry answered. "We're supposed to go home tomorrow."

"Home?"

Harry glanced towards the kitchen door, but Snape wasn't coming back yet. "To the Manor. We're spending Christmas there."

"Oh, won't that be lovely? Are you going to get a tree?"

"I dunno," Harry suddenly found that he didn't know much at all about what their plans were for the next few weeks of break. "We haven't talked about it much."

"I see," Evelyn reached into her satchel and pulled out a notebook and a quill before beginning to write in it.

It was then that Snape reappeared, and Harry looked up at him quickly though he said nothing. Snape had carried out the tea tray, but coffee and cups sat on it instead of their usual tea set. He placed the tray on the coffee table, but before he could take a seat, Evelyn spoke up, "Thank you, Professor Snape. I apologize for how long it's taken me to get out here, and I know we would all rather get this over with quickly. I'm sure Harry wants to get started on his Christmas break as soon as possible, so if you wouldn't mind giving us just a little while, I'll talk to Harry first, and then I'd like you and me to speak privately as well."

"Of course," Snape replied evenly. Harry, however, didn't like this idea one bit.

"You're not staying in here?" he blurted out before Snape could even take a step towards the hallway.

"I'll just be in the lab, Harry. Everything will be-"

"No!" Harry stood up and moved away from the couch towards Snape. His breathing was hard, and his chest felt heavy. "You didn't say you would be leaving."

"Harry, there's nothing to worry about, dear." Evenly remained seated as she looked up at both of them, "We're just going to talk for a bit. That's all."

"Yeah, and then you'll take me away!"

"Harry-"

"I won't go! I won't!"

"Harry!" Snape's stern tone cut through the loud ringing in Harry's ears, and he turned to look at him. Through it all, Evelyn stayed put on the couch, seemingly unfazed by the scene unfolding in front of her. Snape put a hand on Harry's shoulder and led him slightly away from her before bending down low so that he was at eye level with the teen. "You need to calm down, Harry."

"But I-"

"No," Snape said sternly but in a hushed tone so that only Harry could hear, "You promised that you'd keep your temper in check, remember?" Harry nodded. "Everything will be fine. The two of you are going to talk, and you will answer her questions respectfully and honestly." Another nod. "I mean it, Harry. Getting upset and storming off may feel good now, but it won't help us in the long run."

"Yes, sir," Harry answered quietly, looking down and away from Snape, who squeezed his shoulder gently before turning him back towards the couch.

"I'll be in the lab if you need me."

Harry sighed and crossed the room to get back to his seat, and Snape headed down the hallway to his lab. A moment later, they heard the door shut, and Evelyn gave a small sigh of her own. "Harry, I'm sure you won't believe me, but I only want what is best for you."

"Snape is what's best for me," Harry said firmly, finally looking up at her.

Evelyn nodded. "If that is truly the case, then I will see that."

"You will." Harry stubbornly set his jaw and crossed his arms over his chest, but Evelyn only looked at him curiously.

"Alright, Harry, tell me about Professor Snape. What's he like?"

Harry huffed but uncrossed his arms and sat up straighter. He promised Snape he would try after all. "He's smart—wicked good at potions. Obviously," Harry added with a roll of his eyes. "He's… I dunno. You've met him, what do you think?"

Evelyn smirked. "I met him all of five minutes ago, Harry."

"Yeah, but he's not exactly hard to read, is he? He just wants people to think he is."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, taking a moment to jot something down in her notes. "Don't most people want others to think that they're open books? That they're not hiding anything? That you can trust them."

"Not Snape," Harry commented, leaning back into the corner of the couch and pulling his knee up. "He wants everyone to think that he's above everyone else. Like he doesn't need anyone, and no one can hurt him. He doesn't want anyone to know that he cares."

"And that's not true?" Evelyn asked. "He does care?"

Harry shrugged. "Well, yeah. 'Course he does."

"How do you know? Do you think he cares about you?"

"Yeah," Harry said with a nod. "I didn't think so at first, but now I know he does."

Evelyn wrote more in her book before reaching over to the coffee table, picking up her cup, and taking a sip. "Give me an example of something that Professor Snape does that lets you know that he cares."

Harry took a moment to think about his answer as he stared down at the table where Evelyn replaced her cup. When Harry finally spoke again, he looked her straight in the eyes.

"He makes me eat vegetables, but not turnip greens because I hate them." Harry gave a small smile remembering the day that Snape had banished his greens, and gave him an extra scoop of potatoes instead. "He gets on to me all the time to do my school work and tells me to get enough sleep or not to eat too many sweets." Now that Harry was talking, it seemed like he had plenty to say about his new guardian. "He lets me help out in his lab sometimes with the easier potions and helps me with the ones I don't understand. After dinner, we have tea, and Snape talks to me about how my day went or what I'm interested in. Snape comes in every night that I stay down here to tell me good night, and he picks up my room even though he knows that it'll be messy again the next day. He lets me stay down here whenever I want and doesn't even tell me to leave."

Harry looked around the room as if it held more things he could say about Snape. He swallowed hard around the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat as he took in the woman before him. He took in her softly curled, brown hair that hung just past her shoulders. The way she was watching him intently with her bright grey eyes with her head cocked only slightly to the side. Her hand that held the quill hovered above her book, and he wondered what she would write about him there. Would she say that Harry should get taken away from Snape? Put in an orphanage somewhere, never to see his friends or his new family again?

Harry was startled at what he had just thought. His new family? Could that be what Snape was to him now? A family? Did it work that way? Was it possible for someone to get thrown into someone's life and come out as an actual family? Was Remus and Dumbledore and McGonagall part of it, too? Did he get to have all that?

Not if she takes me away, thought Harry, and suddenly he desperately needed to convince her.

"He put carpet in!" Harry blurted out.

"I'm sorry?" Evelyn's brows creased as she stared at Harry in confusion.

Harry took a deep breath and said again, "Snape put carpet in our rooms here. I always forget to put my socks and shoes on, and he kept having to remind me. He always said that I would get sick because the dungeons are always cold, but then one day, I came in, and there was carpet all over. I asked him why and he said he figured that it wouldn't matter so much if I forgot to put them on this way. That's how I know, Ms. Bouchard. Because something as simple as making sure I didn't get sick wasn't even something that my relatives cared about, but Snape does!"

"I see," she replied, writing in her book again. When she looked up, she wasn't smiling anymore, and Harry's heart sank though he tried not to show it. He didn't want her to see how badly he was hurting inside. Harry could feel his heart beating, and he thought it must be so loud that she had to be able to hear it. "Harry," she said quietly, and Harry turned his head to face her.

"Why did you have to drink a nutrient potion?"

The question caught Harry off guard. What did that have to do with anything?

"Madam Pomfrey said I needed it. I'm sort of skinny, I guess."

"Madam Pomfrey, the mediwitch?" Evelyn asked, rifling through her satchel and pulling out a folder, and opening it up.

"Yes," Harry answered, craning his neck to try and get a look at them, but Evelyn held them up and out of sight.

"You saw her when you first came to live with Professor Snape, and I have her notes here. According to her, she uncovered quite a few injuries that you had sustained. Can you tell me about them?"

"No," Harry said shortly. His heart rate was skyrocketing now. There was simply no way that she couldn't hear it from where she sat only a couple of feet away.

"Why not?" Evelyn asked patiently. She had put the folder back down but was still watching Harry intently.

"I don't want to talk about them." Harry resituated himself so that he was sitting straight on the couch and was facing the fireplace.

"Who?"

"My relatives. You've got her report. You don't need me to say anything."

"Harry," Evelyn said softly, "please tell me why you left your relative's home."

"You already know!" Harry felt the desperation in his voice, and he hated it. Why couldn't he be stronger than this?

"I only know what the official report says."

"You don't need to know! It's got nothing to do with this! Snape doesn't do any of that to me, and that should be good enough! Why can't you just leave it alone?!" Harry pleaded with her. He turned towards her, and green eyes met grey, and she sighed.

"Because I want to help you, Harry. I know you don't trust easily, and you've probably got every reason in the world not to, but I need you to trust me. I want to help you."

"Then let me stay with Snape!" Harry begged, "Please, don't send me back there."

Evelyn shook her head as she leaned forward a bit and put her hand on the couch between them as she looked him in the eyes. "I promise you that you will not be going back to your relatives, Harry. Regardless of what you say to me."

"But you're not promising that I can stay with Snape either!" Harry protested.

"No," she admitted, and Harry flung himself back against the couch with a groan, "but I am promising that whatever is best for you is what will happen. But I have to be sure that this arrangement you have with Professor Snape is in your best interest. It's my job, and I care very much about what I do. I want to see you happy and thriving in whatever situation you're in, but I'll be honest with you, Harry, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you're not able to talk about the abuse you suffered, even just a little bit, that's cause for me to be concerned that he is not helping you mentally."

"I can!" Harry proclaimed.

"What can you tell me about, then?" she asked, unfazed by Harry's outburst. "I don't want to make this difficult for you, Harry. That's not my intention at all, but you have to help me out here."

Harry shut his eyes tightly, willing his body to calm down. He wiped his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans and took a couple of slow, deep breaths. "Alright," Harry said as he nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"Can you tell me why you needed the nutrient potion?" Evelyn asked.

"Because I was underweight- Madam Pomfrey said," Harry clarified. "I...my relatives...th-they didn't-" Harry cut himself off in frustration.

"It's alright, Harry," Evelyn encouraged. "Just take your time."

Harry nodded once more and took another deep breath. "My relatives didn't always feed me. If I got in trouble or something, they wouldn't let me eat as a punishment."

"Did you get into trouble often?"

"Not- not for real things. But Uncle Vernon found plenty to blame me for anyway. And Dudley always wanted extra helpings, and I was supposed to wait until he finished before I got to eat, but most of the time, there wasn't anything left over."

Evelyn was writing in her book, but Harry wasn't looking at her, choosing instead to stare at the flickering flames of the fireplace.

"Was that the only punishment they would give you?"

Harry shook his head slowly. "No."

"Can you tell me about the others?"

For a long moment, Evelyn wasn't sure that Harry would answer. But eventually, he spoke again, though his voice was strained and quiet. "He would hit me."

"You're uncle?" Harry nodded mutely. "What did he hit you with, Harry? His fist? An object?"

"Yes," his breathing was shallow, but he went on, "he, um, he had a heavy leather belt that he used a lot. And his hand too if he was in a hurry."

Evelyn's brows creased again and formed a line on her forehead. "What do you mean, 'if he was in a hurry?"

"Nothing," Harry stated, shaking his head. "Just that sometimes he didn't have time for a proper belting, and so he would just knock me around a bit. Those usually weren't as bad. It was worse if he had time to get the belt."

Harry and Evelyn talked for a while longer, and finally, after what seemed to Harry like hours, she stood up and pulled out her wand from the inside pocket of her robe. She waved it in the air around them, but Harry didn't notice anything happening, though it was only a moment later that Snape came into the parlor. Harry quickly moved around the couch and lunged himself into the older man's arms, burying his head in his robes. Snape immediately wrapped his arms around him and shot a glare at the woman over Harry's head.

"I believe I have all I need from Harry, for now, Professor Snape, but I would like to speak to you now."

Snape nodded. "Of course." He leaned down and gently pried Harry away from him, "Harry, why don't you wait-"

"Actually," Evelyn interrupted, and Snape looked over to her. "I hoped that we might make a home visit to your manor. We could have your interview there and take care of both things at once."

Snape paused, thinking over her proposal. "Alright, but I will need to have Remus come stay with him."

Harry looked up at him incredulously, "I'm not a baby, Snape."

Snape shot him a stern look and said, "Sirius Black-"

"I know, I know," interrupted Harry, "Sirius Black is still out there. But he's not in here."

"We're not discussing this now, Harry. I'll have Remus come, and then we can floo to the Manor." Evelyn nodded, and Harry stepped back so that Severus could walk past him to the fireplace. He threw in a handful of floo powder and leaned down, calling for Remus. A moment later, Remus's head was floating in the hearth.

"Severus?"

"Remus, can you come through and stay with Harry for a bit while I take Ms. Bouchard to do a home visit at the Manor?"

"Of course," Remus agreed, and Snape moved back to give him room to come through.

"Alright," Snape said, once Remus was standing in their parlor, "We shouldn't be too long. Harry, behave for Remus, please."

Harry nodded and sat down on the couch. A moment later, Snape and Evelyn were spinning amid green flames before vanishing from sight. Remus turned to him when they were gone and asked, "How did it go?"

Harry groaned and dropped his head against the back of the couch. "I dunno. Good, I hope, but she didn't say either way."

"I'm sure everything went fine," Remus said as he sat down on the couch, leaving a space between them. "I wonder if she'll get to anyone else today or if she'll wait till later? It's already nearly noon." Harry shrugged his shoulders but didn't comment. "Are you hungry?" Remus asked, "I can get us a bite to eat if you want."

"Okay," Harry said with a sigh as he stood up and followed Remus into the kitchen. Remus tapped the table, and a plate of sandwiches appeared along with a couple of glasses of pumpkin juice. "Hey, Remus?" Harry asked after he'd taken a small bite of his chicken sandwich.

"Yes?"

"What do you think I should get Snape for Christmas?"

Remus looked over at Harry, taken aback by the topic of conversation. Christmas hadn't been close to what he thought Harry would talk to him about. "He would be happy with anything, Harry."

"Yeah, but I want to get him something special. Since this might be the only Christmas that we get together."

Remus sighed. "I've got a feeling that you're going to have plenty more Christmases with him. Anyone could see how good you are for him."

"You mean how good he is for me." Harry corrected before taking a drink of his juice.

Remus shook his head. "No, I mean that since you have come to live with him, Severus has been a completely different person. He's been happy, Harry. For the first time in years, he has been happy. He and I have even started talking again. Really talking, like we used to. Our relationship is repairing, and I have you to thank for that."

"Me?" Harry asked, "I haven't done anything."

"Oh, but you have," Remus said sincerely. "You came into his life and changed it for the better just by being here. That, in turn, meant that you came into my life, and Mum and Dad's. I don't want to sound overly sentimental, Harry, but I think you might have been the missing piece all along."

"What missing piece?" Harry asked.

"The one that holds our family together."