Chapter 36

DPOV

She still didn' wake, goin' over 3 days now. The woman Michonne had come 'n gone b'fore it had gotten dark, Glenn stoppin' by ta poke his head in every now 'n then. Hershel'd come in ta tend ta Bella, cleanin' her up 'n what not while I went ta take care of what I need'd ta do; he seem'd ta know I didn' want 'er left alone, 'n would stay with her till I got back. It jus' didn' feel right… leavin' her that is. She couldn' take of herself if somethin' were ta happen.

She'd almost died…, hell, she still could if she didn' wake up soon 'ccordin' ta Hershel; said her body need'd more than he could give 'er with an' IV, 'n since her body wasn' in perfect condition b'fore, she was usin' up what she had ta spare already. I'd offer'd ta make a run for whatever he need'd but he'd said had ta research it more in the medical books he had, state'n it was more complicated than puttin' in a feedin' tube for a dog; 'n the list I'd seen 'im workin' on got longer as the day went on, along with the locations they could be at. I didn' know what half that shit was on tha list, but it wouldn' stop me from tryin'.

After burn'n all the trash from D-block, I went 'n took what seemed like the 100th shower this week, collectin' my clothes from outside the C-block doors; noticin' 'nother new pair of those damn underwear, all my old ones had seem'd ta have disappear'd. I'd been havin' ta drop tha dirty ones in a bucket with vinegar 'fore they'd take em ta wash, but I never seemed ta get tha old ones back; instead, I was wearin' all this new shit from the tote with my name on it. Hell, for all I knew, they prolly fell 'part 'cause they ain't never been washed that much; only reason they were was 'cause Hershel had ask'd; 'n if I didn' respect 'em like I did, I would'a told 'im ta fuck off, but he was jus' tryin' to keep more people from getting' sick.

I ain't ever had clean clothes for each day, 'specially not new ones; most my clothes came second hand, only buyin' my socks 'n drawers new when the old ones fell 'part. I didn' see tha point of buyin' my pants 'n shirts new, not when I could get 'em in decent shape at a resale shop for a few bucks; not that I could 'fford ta buy 'em new in the first place. Didn' have room for much, only what I could carry on my back when Merle up 'n got a wild hair ta leave whatever town we'd been holed up in; usually jus' some extra socks 'n drawers, couple shirts if I had tha money for some.

I wouldn' steal, not when I knew it was wrong; one of tha few things I r'member 'bout my mother was her readin' you shall not steal, or somethin' like that. Though she used ta say honor your mother and father too, but there was no way I was honorin' my piece of shit Pa, not after I noticed no one else lived like us; no one else's mother went ta tha store black 'n blue, limpin' in with blood stained clothes, 'n tha kids swimmin' in tha creek didn' have bruises or scars on their backs from their Pa's. I learn'd from a young age we was different 'n made it a point ta try 'n not draw attention ta myself, 'specially not by stealin'.

Merle did though, often. That was the only time I'd really told 'em no, not takin' part in the petty thefts he did or the BE's. Which turn'd out ta be a good thing, considerin' that's what he went ta jail for more often than not; a few times for being intoxicated or under tha influence of somethin' or 'nother. The few times he spent more than a few weeks in jail, I'd gotten' a job. Some were odd jobs here 'n there, hard labor like cleanin' off lots for cash, but a couple times at mechanic shops. I'd learned young how ta fix up cars, knowin' that if my Pa's truck worked then he'd be gone more often than not, 'n jus' a lil' less piss'd off.

That's how I got my bow, workin' 'n savin while Merle did his jail time. He was doin' a year for robbery (6 months for good behavior) when I bought it; 'n it was tha most expensive thing I ever bought in my life, figurin' it'd be the safest thing ta get considerin' most people didn' know shit 'bout 'em or how much they was worth. I'd seen a rifle I liked but knew it'd be gone first chance one of the junkies Merle brought 'round saw it and I'd also have ta buy ammo for it, so I went with the bow. First thing Merle want'd ta do when he go out the joint was ta pawn it for some cash; took threatenin' him with a bolt ta the ass ta get 'em ta realize it wasn' goin' anywhere.

'N that's how our life went, me followin' Merle 'round from place ta place, tryin' ta make sure he didn' get killed for fuckin' 'round with the wrong people. We was blood, as he told me all the fuckin' time, 'n that's all that matter'd 'n life; 'N as much as he could piss me off and all tha crazy shit he'd get into, I jus' kept goin' 'long with 'im. I prolly could'a stay'd in one of those small towns, workin' 'n maybe even built a cabin 'nstead of sleepin' in tha woods, but I knew he'd show up sooner or later, so I jus' kept goin' with 'em.

That day Bella had told me 'bout Merle was tha only time I'd want'd ta call bull shit on 'er, well sides the time she said she want'd ta choose me. Merle bein' alive, yeah, I could believe that easily; we were built ta survive, doin' it all our lives, but Merle changin' into a better person… no. Merle didn't give a fuck 'bout nobody 'sides Merle, 'n sometimes me; but I'd let it go, not sayin' anything 'bout it 'cause I was jus' relieved she was talkin' ta me again.

I made my way back ta D-block ta hear Hershel readin' ta Bella, like he usually did when I was gone. First time I heard 'im doin' it, I'd thought she was awake 'n ran ta the end of tha block, only ta be disappointed that she was still unconscious. I grabbed my sleepin' bag outa my cell and went ta hers ta get settled for tha night, jus' listenin' ta Hershel read to her from tha bible b'fore he left for the night; leavin' the cell door cracked open so it didn' lock, 'fore he walk'd off.

Tha first night after I'd brought 'er back, I didn' sleep, sittin' the whole night in her cell keepin' watch. The second night, I'd tried ta sleep in my cell, but woke ta check on her after dreamin' 'bout her wakin' up with milky white eyes 'n tryin' ta rip me ta pieces. I'd ended up slump'd against tha bars, watchin' her breath till Hershel came by on his nightly 'rounds 'n let me in, leavin' the door cracked for me 'nstead of lockin' it shut when he left.

I laid there while listenin' ta tha slow breaths she took, thinkin' bout what I decided when bringin' her back ta the prison. I want'd ta let her make the decision, 'bout me. I knew I want'd 'er, 'least as a friend, but more if she was willin' ta give it. I jus' liked ta see 'er every day, ta listen ta her talk 'n laugh… ta smile at me. Her smile was so damn perfect when she smiled at me, like I was tha highlight of her day like she was mine. I'd watched 'er a lot after we started talkin' again; watchin' how she interacted with everyone, 'n how she would smile at almost everybody… but it wasn' tha same smile she gave me.

I thought I was an idiot for thinkin' she looked at me different than anyone else, but I watched 'er. I'd watch that kid Zach from the D-block group try 'n talk ta her, 'n the polite smile she'd give 'em 'fore excusin' herself 'n stiffly walkin' off ta get away from 'em. I didn' get why she didn' give 'im a chance; the kid was alright, more her age than I was 'n didn' seem to be as fuck'd up like me. Jealousy hit me full force when I'd thought 'bout it more, I didn' want 'er ta give 'im a chance.

I'd thought all my life that bein' jealous of somebody was a useless way ta feel, 'cause no matter how jealous you were, it didn' change nothin'; but here I was, feelin' all kinds of shit I hadn' ever felt b'fore. Being sad was somethin' else I thought ta be pointless too; no matter how sad I was when my mother burned up, it didn' change nothin' or get anythin' done sides gettin' the shit beat out of me by my Pa for being a 'cryin' lil' bitch'. No matter how jealous I was of the family that lived a few miles away, it wouldn' change the way my family was. So I never really felt those kinda things, just lived my life day ta day, survivin.

Then Bella came 'round, wantin' ta spend time 'round me, even on tha days I did'n talk ta her when we first met. I was happy to get up 'n go hunt, ta see her. I want'd ta listen ta her talk 'bout things, ta see her laugh. For the first time in my life, I want'd somethin'. I jus' want'd ta be 'round her, but I also want'd more; things that I didn' think I could want, 'n never wanted before. I want'd her ta touch me, even jus' brush 'er arm up 'gainst mine while we were huntin'; every touch sparked a feelin' in me, more. I want'd more, ta touch her back, ta kiss 'er again, ta feel her body press'd ta mine; but more than any of that, I jus' want'd her ta wake up, to open 'er eyes ta look at me.

I drifted off on the floor of 'er cell, starin' at a soft curl of her hair that'd fallen off the edge of 'er bunk; only ta awaken in pain. My eyes shot open, tryin' ta adjust ta tha low lamp light only ta see it was Bella. My thoughts flash'd back ta the milky eyes in my dream 'n almost pulled my knife, b'fore listenin'. She was breathin', not growlin', but breathin' too fast. Damn girl was freakin' the fuck out, floppin' all over the place. The pain that was still present was from her knee right in my nuts, 'n one of 'er boney ass elbows right on my ribs.

I tried ta be as gentle as I could, 'n grabbed her shoulders bringin' her head up ta look at me. The relief I felt at seein' her brown eyes open overpowered the nauseous feelin' from being kneed in the balls. Pure panic was all that was on her face, she couldn' seem ta breath "Bella. Come on doll, it's jus' me, Daryl. You're alright, settle down a 'lil." I told her, tryin' ta calm 'er down. She look'd at my face n grabbed the front of my vest in her hands as tight as she could.

That's when I noticed her arms were bleedin' from where she must'a ripped out the stuff Hershel had 'er hooked up to. She was tryin' ta push herself up, but didn' seem ta be able to, only ta drive 'er knee back into my nuts again. I groaned out in pain while tryin' ta pick 'er up off of me, but she wouldn' let go of my vest. She was breathin' even faster, 'n her eyes darted all around the cell, panickin' even more. With some muttered curses, I managed ta roll us on our sides 'n somehow pull her up with me, though tha pain in my gut made me want ta bow over.

I knew what I needed ta do, 'n grabbed the blanket from 'er bunk b'fore pullin' her up ta awkwardly carry 'er out of the cell block since she still didn' let go of my vest. She liked bein' outside, 'n maybe tha cold air would help knock her out of it. Soon as we cleared tha doors, her breathin' slowed down some, while she stared at the moon. I waited a 'lil longer for it slow more b'fore tryin' ta talk ta her, "Come on Bella, calm down a 'lil girl. Breathe for me. You're jus' at the prison." She still continued ta stare at the sky, not really hearin' a word I said, but her breathin' was almost back to normal.

I shifted tryin' ta work tha blanket 'round 'er since she was jus' in a hospital gown, feelin' the goose bumps raise against my hands on 'er thighs, when her eyes finally snapp'd down ta look at me. She stared for a while, while I stared back, wait'n on any sign of recognition, when she finally croaked out "Daryl?" At least I thought that's what she said, but her throat was so dry she couldn' talk. "Yeah Bella, it's me. You've been sick girl… Ya know where you are?" At her nod I continued, "It's been a few days, you wanna try ta drink somethin'?" It took longer for her to nod this time, prolly thinkin' over everything, b'fore I started carryin' her back ta the doors.

When we got ta tha doors, she promptly freaked the fuck out again, shakin' her head back 'n forth as fast as she could. "Come on Doll, ya need ta drink somethin', 'n Hershel can look ya over" I told her, tryin' ta calm 'er down once again, but she wasn't havin' it. She struggled, tryin' ta get down so I carefully set her down, keepin' my hands on her hips knowin' what was goin' ta happen. Her legs shook as she tried to hold 'er self up b'fore she collapsed into me, 'n I raised her back up, tryin' ta keep the blanket 'round 'er.

I look'd back ta her face, 'n she was still shaken her head, much slower now, whisperin "please no" at me. Damn. I didn' know what ta do, it was cold as fuck out here, 'specially with no boots on, 'n everyone else was sleepin' 'cept for the guards in the tower; but when she start'd ta cry, I couldn' take it. "Alright doll, we won't go back in there… shit, come on girl, don't cry." Fuck, now I was startin' ta panic. Then I r'member'd tha stash of shit we kept in tha cars for emergencies 'n walked 'cross the cold ass ground to 'em. Right as I was 'bout ta pull the door open, a red dot landed on tha window, 'causin me ta raise the one hand I could up in surrender while lookin' round for the shooter.

Fuckin' Andrea up in the tower, pointin' that damn rifle at me again, "What, shootin' me once wasn' 'nough?" I asked 'er in a raised voice, causin' Bella to lift 'er head back up from my shoulder. Her tearstained face stood out in the moonlight, makin' my heart clench 'cause the look of helplessness was clear as the fuckin' sky. "Daryl?" came a soft call from the tower, 'n the red dot disappeared. "Yeah, it's me. Stop pointin' that fuckin' thing at me." I told 'er b'fore openin' the car door, grabbin' some drinks n what I thought ta be crackers. "What the hell are you doing out here?!" She yelled down, tryin' ta wake up everyone in tha damn prison 'n get every walkers attention for a mile. "Goin' for a fuckin' walk; Christ, can ya keep it down?!" I told 'er, walkin' off, headin' ta the barn.

It was tha only place that was somewhat warm that wasn't in tha prison. The barn still had some feelin' of bein' outside unlike tha car, so hopefully she will calm the fuck back down. She didn' do anythin' as I pull'd the door open and step'd in, tryin' ta figure out where the fuck to set 'er down. The horse stall had fresh hay 'n look'd ta be the warmest, 'n after checkin' ta make sure it wasn' Nelly's stall, I walk'd us in.

She still would'n let me go, so I fumbled quite a bit tryin' ta get us both sat down, which ended up bein' her sat across my thighs. She was starin' at whatever fuckin' horse this was in the stall with us, while I opened up some kind of soda for her to drink hopin' somethin' sweet would help 'er. "Bella" I called tryin' to get 'er attention, 'n her head swung around ta face me, "I got somethin' for you ta drink." I put it up ta her lips and tipped it up, some came back out the sides of her mouth b'fore she start'd ta swallow it. She must'a realized how thirsty she really was, 'cause she start'd tryin' ta chug it down.

Then she choked 'n spewed soda all over my face 'n chest while still coughin' up a storm. I tried ta pat er on the back some as she tried ta catch 'er breath b'fore lookin' up at me. "I'm sorry, Daryl" she coughed out, finally releasin' one hand from my vest, tryin' ta wipe the drips off my face with her hands. Her skin had pinken'd some, but not like it usually did, but I was still happy ta finally see some kinda color on 'er skin 'sides the ashen gray tint. I grabb'd my bandana from my pocket, wipen my face b'fore she could work 'er self up 'bout it, "It's fine girl, come on, drink some more" I told 'er as soft as I could, holding the drink back up to 'er lips.

She drank some more, a lot slower this time, b'fore bringin' her hand up ta push it away with a shake of 'er head. "I'm really sorry Daryl" she told me, lookin' down at the hay. "It's just some soda, it'll dry up, ain't gotta make a fuss 'bout it." I said. I was jus' fuckin' relieve she was awake, whether it was ta spew soda on me or even slap the shit out of for changin' her clothes when she was sick, I jus' happy she wasn' on the brink of death anymore. She shook 'er head slightly b'fore respondin', "Not just for that… for tonight. I panicked when I woke up, and I couldn't walk when I tried. I didn't mean to fall on you, or make you come out to the barn without your boots on… I'm sorry you have to go through all this trouble.." she stuttered out in a rough voice after 'er coughin' fit, while twistin' my vest up where she still held it up by my shoulders.

"Bella" I said, shakin' tha leg she was sittin' on ta get 'er attention, "I'm jus' relieved ya' woke up at all. It's been 'bout 4 days now…" "4 days?!" she ask'd stunn'd, at my nod, she started ta ask bout everythin' that'd been goin' on; did Glenn recover, 'n how Lorie was doin' 'n so forth. We talk'd for a while, her eatin' crackers slowly as I'd updated 'er on what I knew, while checkin' ta make sure she wasn't bleedin' anymore where she ripped out tha tubes. She soon fell asleep 'gainst my chest 'n I thought I'd wait for a lil' while longer b'fore tryin' ta carry 'er back ta D-block but must've fallen asleep myself.

Bella's awake! Sorry it took so long, I wrote the chapter and didn't like it, so I wrote a different one! Let me know what you all think!