The next morning everyone woke up excited. James was happy he stopped after four beers. There was no sign of a hangover at all. And finally it was time for their first Hogsmeade visit. Even though the sun was shining there was a very cold wind. The four friends spoke about their plans during breakfast. "I need to visit Honeydukes." Remus said quietly. "There is another full moon coming up next week and my chocolate stash is low." Peter nodded. "Sounds good! I want to visit Zonko's as well." The rest of the breakfast was spend talking about their expectations of Hogsmeade.

After their stomachs were filled with eggs, bacon, sausage and porridge they made their way to the Entrance Hall. Pringle was ready to check every students permission slip. The four of them were cleared and they were on their way down. After a swift twenty minute walk they finally arrived. James had no idea where to look first. He had already seen Zonko's Joke shop, but next to it was Spintwitches Sporting Needs. Further down the street he saw Honeydukes, the Three Broomsticks, The Magic Neep (a greengrocer's), a cauldron shop with the name 'Ceridwen's Cauldrons' and Hogsmeade Post Office. This last one was a very thin but tall building where you could see the owls coming and going.

First they went to Honeydukes. The place was already packed with students from Hogwarts and James pushed his towards one of the stands on the side of the shop. "Look at this! They have different flavor of Cauldron Cakes. I never knew they had more than just the one we can get on the train." James said excitingly. Sirius, who stood next to him, scanned the products as well. He seemed impressed. "Blood-flavored lollipops." Remus said with slow voice. "Shall I buy you some? Maybe it will lessen your bloodthirst during your next transformation." Sirius joked loudly. "Can you please lower voice?" Remus pleaded while looking around to see if anyone had heard Sirius. "Calm down. No one pays any attention to us." Sirius said unwavering. But James knew that Sirius would let the subject go. Sirius did like to live carefree, but he would never put a friend in harm's way because of him.

James decided to buy Cauldron cakes, Chocolate Cauldrons, Liquorice Wands and Fudge Flies. Remus stuffed his bag full with chocolate before joining James at the register. "Let me get that for you." James offered Remus, but the latter shook his head. "Thanks mate, but no." James rolled his eyes. "Remus, please. I don't do this out of pity, believe me. This is my way of trying to make your monthly problem easier for you. I know you need parchments, ink and another quill. Use your money for that. Please, let me do this for you." Remus tried to reject James again, but he was not having any of it. James turned to the gentlemen behind the counter. "Sir, my friend here was about 8 bars of chocolate and 20 Chocolate Frogs. If I give you two Galleons, that should cover it, right?" As soon as the owner of Honeydukes nodded he put down four Galleons, paying for the both of them.

After Honeydukes they went to Zonko's where Peter started to go a little crazy. He started to look at every single product and comparing to each other, muttering to himself. "Is he okay?" Sirius asked out loud while eyeing Peter. "We might need to stop him soon. It looks like he will have a sensory overload any minute now." James joked. "Well, you should. Since the two of you are the reason why is doing this." Remus said in an airy voice. Sirius turned around. "Us?" He asked.

"Yeah, you and James."

"Why?" Sirius demanded an answer in a booming voice. He didn't like being accused as the reason for someone else his behavior.

Remus looked at him as it was just plain obvious. "Because he looks up to you. He is trying to be like you. The way you handle yourself around the Slytherins, the way you dare to talk to teachers. He does not think he is skilled enough to pull of the same level of quality in magic you two have, so he tries to make it up for it somehow. Right now he trying to decide which Zonko's item is the best to buy and use on the Slytherins."

James' mouth fell agape. He needed a moment to process what Remus had just said. "He said all of this stuff you? About feeling inferior to us?" This made Remus smile. "No way. He would never. But you can see it. You can see it in his behavior and how he looks at you." James pained his mind, trying to recollect memories of a staring and gasping Peter. Now that he came to think about it, Remus did have a point. "That is ridiculous." Sirius said sharply. "I will put an end to this." He stalked into the store, searching for Peter who had vanished behind some shelfs a while ago.

Remus sighed. "Oh Merlin, I hope Sirius is considerate about it. Peter would never admit any of this." But James knew better. If Sirius found something foolish the other person would know this, one way of the other. And indeed, soon the two of them came back into James his vision. Sirius looked somehow unimpressed and Peter looked embarrassed. Neither of them said a word when they left Zonko's. James noticed how Peter did not buy one thing and only stared at the ground in front of him. It did not sit right with James.

The four of them went to Tomes and Scrolls, ready to fill up on parchment and ink. Remus was talking to Peter, probably trying to make him feel at ease again. James took the place next to Sirius, who was comparing two different type of parchments.

"What did you say to him?"

Sirius sighed, rolled his eyes and looked at his best friend. "Why do you care?"

"Because I just found out a friend of us feels inferior to us and I want to know that you didn't say or do anything to make it worse." James screwed up his eyes.

"You honestly think that I would do or say something to make it worse? Who do you think I am?" Sirius looked very hurt. But before James could answer him, Sirius continued. "If you seriously think that I would do something like that, I do not think you know me at all." Sirius turned around on his heels and walked away.

Somehow this wasn't the Hogsmeade visit James had envisioned so far. He looked at Remus and Peter, who had watched this all go down. After a minute Sirius returned and said briskly: "Let's go to the Three Broomsticks and warm up." He never met James his eye.

The Three Broomsticks was packed with students. The Halloween decoration was still up and they found a table behind an enlarged Pumpkin, that blocked their table from the view. "I will get us some Butterbeers." Sirius said while he stood up. James beckoned Remus and Peter and said: "I will go after him." Both of them nodded.

He found Sirius waiting at the bar for Madam Rosmerta to notice him. Sirius did not acknowledge James when he stood next to him. "Hey mate. I am sorry for what I said okay. I did not mean it like it came across." James spoke to Sirius.

"Well, what did you mean then?"

"Sirius, I do know you would never say or do anything to upset Peter. But I just wanted to know what you did say to him, since he looked almost ashamed of himself. I will say it again: I know you would never deliberately hurt him. But that does not mean you cannot come across as harsh. Because newsflash, you do."

Sirius looked at James, thinking about what he had just heard. Another look of pain came over his face. "I was just hurt because you made it seem like I would do something like that on purpose. It made me feel like I was truly a son of my parents." span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"

This made James his heart ache. "Sirius, I am truly sorry for that. I want you to know that was never my intention and that thought never even crossed my mind. You are and never will be like your parents. If it helps I can spread the rumor that you were adopted." Sirius started laughing. "No need for that mate! That still means I was raised by them." As quickly as that smile came it also disappeared. "Sometimes," Sirius said in a low voice. "I am afraid that I am more like them than I claim to be. I am still there son. Their genes are part of me. I have spend 11 years with them, hearing them speak and hearing about their beliefs. Something must have rubbed off on me.

James knew this was a very big concern of Sirius. The subject of his parents was a very sensitive one and they hardly talked about it. Usually James waited until Sirius brought the topic of his family up himself. "Sirius, you need to look at all those things you do and say that proof the opposite. Look at yourself! You are a Gryffindor first of all. The first one to break the 'tradition' of your family. You hang out with Muggleborns. You defy your parents and their beliefs. Look at those things and keep doing these things. They will remind you of everything that you are. Everything that made you even with your parents."

Sirius his eyes were misty all of the sudden. A small smile danced around his lips. "Thanks, mate. Sorry for lashing out at you."

James patted his shoulder. "Anytime and no worries." At that moment Madam Rosmerta finally noticed them and James saw how relieved Sirius was. They carried four bottle of Butterbeer back to the table and sat down. The air between the four of them was cleared and soon they were all laughing about some ridiculous story Sirius told.

A good ten minutes later the door opened again. This brought a gush of cold wind into the Three Broomsticks. James looked up when the cold hit him and he saw something that made his heart yearn. Lily Evens had just stepped into the Three Broomsticks. James had not seen her since they had left his dormitory last night. She was nowhere to be seen at breakfast that morning, but here she was. But she was not alone. As soon as she stepped inside he saw that she was being accompanied by Severus Snape. James felt his expression turn into a scowl. What did Snivellus want with her?

"What are you looking at?" Sirius asked while he turned around to see what James his view was. As soon as he saw, he exclaimed: "Ah, lovely Miss Evans. We never really talked about list night. Did we? You came down, the girls left and you just said it was fine. But why would you describe your first kiss as just fine? And James Potter, a first kiss with the girl you have been pining over since your very first day at Hogwarts will never be emjust okay/em!" Sirius kept pushing the subject.

"A gentlemen does not kiss and tell!" This all he wanted to say about the subject. Somehow it felt kind of wrong to talk about it, since it was also Lily her first kiss. So it was not just his first kiss he would be telling about, he would also talk about Lily her first kiss. But he also knew that his friends, especially Sirius, would not it rest until he had an answer that satisfied him. James sighed and thought to himself: 'I could give them my perspective. That might shut them up.' But James knew better than that.

"Fine, I will tell you a bit. I am very happy that I could share my first kiss with her. It was very nice and I like to think that she feels the same way." James tried to end the sentence with a tone of voice that made it seem that this subject was better be kept to rest. Peter, Remus and Sirius seemed to get the hint and just smiled at him.

Remus said he was happy for James and changed the subject to his experience of last night. He said he needed to talk about what had transpired between him and Mary. Sirius was just as eager to jump on this subject, so James truly felt in the clear now. He tried to listen to Remus but his attention was caught by the sound of his own name. He looked around but could not see who was talking about him. At that moment he heard his name again and it seem someone talked about him behind the big pumpkin. James shifted in his seat and saw a flash of red hair. 'Lily!' He thought. 'She was talking about him!'

"I need a moment!" James whispered to his friends while he dug into his bag. He pulled out his Invisibility Cloak, happy with himself that he carried it around most of the time. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?" Remus sounded so confuses.

"I will explain later!" There was no time to lose. He quickly glanced around, but no one was paying attention to him. He slipped the robe around him and disappeared from everyone's sight. Slowly he made his way to the table on the other side of the pumpkin, trying to find a safe spot where he could hear Snivellus and Lily without the risk of being bumped into. He found one where also had the ability to see both Lily's and Snape's face and still could hear everything from their conversation. Snape did not seem happy at all, while Lily had a desperate look in her eyes.

"Yes, Sev. I spend my evening with James Potter and Sirius Black. But it was not like I choose to. I came back from Slughorn after the feast and my friends just sat with them. Remus and Peter were there as well."

"I do not like them. You know that they are vile and mean. Especially to me." Snape explained.

Lily's glance softened. "I know. You will never hear me justify their behavior. But do you understand how I feel about the people you hang out with? Because they are also mean to me. You should hear the things they call me."

"Well, I never heard them call you anything." Snape raised his hands as a defense.

"So you think I am lying?" The tone Lily had was very sharp. Snape did notice this as well, because he leaned forward and tried to appease Lily. "No, no! I believe you! It is just hard for me to picture it. They just seem to ignore you, you know."

James saw the furious frown in Lily's brows.

"Are you for real now, Sev? Because I know for a fact that you have been around them when they called other Muggleborns names. Do you honestly think that they would make an exception for me? This only shows how two-faced they are, since they are doing it behind your back."

James was happy that Lily called Snivellus out on this. He was indeed a two-faced snake.

"Okay, you don't like everyone I hang out with and I don't like everyone you hang out with. Let us just agree on that." Snape tried to steer the conversation to something different. James knew this was because he would lose this disagreement. James and Sirius were a lot of things, but they would never ever discriminate anyone.

"You make it sound like I am close to them. This was literally the first time I hung out with in ages! But fine, we can settle on it. What do you want to talk about? Because it also feels like I have not seen you in while too. How is everything at home?"

Snape his face fell. "It's still the same. I would rather not talk about it. Returning to Hogwarts is my escape and I would like to focus on the good in here. Like you." James mouth fell open. Was Snivellus seriously flirting with Lily right now? By the look of how red his cheeks were he was sure that Snape was not really experienced in this area.

Lily smiled at her friend. "I am sorry for bringing it up. That is understandable! Let's talk about something else. You choose!" James wondered if Lily even noticed the flirtatious remark Snape had just made.

"I want to talk about last night! Gryffindor parties are wild and being a Slytherin and all I will never experience one."

James saw Lily gulp. Suddenly she was fiddling with hem of her jacket. "It was a good party! Good food and nice drinks. I drank wine for the first time!" Her voice sounded a pitch higher than usual. Snape seemed to catch on

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah, it was Muggle wine. So nothing special like the ones you can get in the Wizarding World. But it was good." The fiddling stopped. Lily conveyed the impression of being relaxed with this topic.

"That is good! I only ever had beer. It tasted okay. What kind of things happen on a Gryffindor party?" Snape sounded genuinely interested. And Lily was back to fiddling again.

There was a moment of silence before she continued. It was almost like Lily was weighing her options. "Well," She said in a serious tone of voice. "Usually people play games. We did last night and there is something you should know." Lily made eye contact with Snape and she hesitated before continuing. "We played truth or dare."

James saw how Snape gripped the edge of the table tightly. He was also picking up on Lily her nervousness.

"I see." Snape said softly. "What happened?"

Lily bit her lip. "Well, it started of fairly tame. We only choose 'Truth' in the beginning. The questions were mild. Things like if you ever broke a bone, stuff like that you know." Again there was a moment of silence. "But after a few rounds someone choose 'Dare' for the first time. Marlene had to drink a mix of all of our drinks." Snape let go of the table.

"Oh, so you just had a drinking game." He sounded almost relieved. "Did you get drunk? Is that what you want to tell me?" But Lily shook her head.

"No, I did not get drunk, Sev. I barely touched the wine. Can I finish my story?" James knew what Lily was going to tell Snape and he was curious what her feelings were about their kist last night.

Snape nodded. "Okay, I will not interrupt again."

"Okay, so of course this meant that it was Marlene her turn. She dared Mary to cuddle with Remus for the rest of the night. Mary did it, which made it her turn. And she choose me. I did not want to back down. So I choose 'Dare' as well." Snape is jaw locked. James could tell he wanted to interrupt Lily, but he could not because of his promise. Lily averted her eye contact with Snape and stared to table instead.

Before she continued she took a deep breath of air. "And she dared me to make out with James."

Snape did not move. He looked like a statue. Lily waited a few more seconds, but it did not seem like Snape would say anything. It was almost as he hoped that Lily would continue with the story and say: "Well of course I did not do it!" But James knew how the story continued and the next part would upset him even more. He slid his hand towards his wand, ready to pull it out if needed. Lily continued the story.

"We went upstairs, to James his dorm."

Snape slammed his hand on the table. "You did what?" He hissed. Lily did not look surprised at all by his reaction.

"You went to his bedroom with him? And once you were there, what did you do? Potter groped you, did he not? Taking advantage of you in your all liquored up state of mind." This made James grab his wand, ready to defend himself. How dared Snivellus. He would never do that and he was ready to show it. But Lily beat him to it.

"What is wrong with you, Sev? No, of course he did not! Like I would even let him without hexing him into oblivion. He did exactly the opposite!" She said getting fed up. "He made sure I was okay with everything little thing, never pushing anything. He even offered to lie about making out if that made me feel better."

Snape suddenly looked relieved.

"So you are letting me on this lie. I can do that! No problem!" Snape got a crazy look in his eyes, as almost as he did not heard one single thing that Lily had said so far. He seemed to want to focus on the fact that there was still a possibility that Lily did not share a kiss with James Potter.

Lily shook her head. "Sev, there is no lie about us making out. James and I kissed. I wanted to tell you about it, because it might get out. You know how Sirius is and James would have told him for sure. I am telling you this because I want to you to hear it from me and not someone else."

Snape closed his eyes, shaking his head. "No, no. This cannot be true. Why, Lily? Why would you kiss him? You know how I feel about him. How I feel about …" But he never finished that sentence. "I cannot believe this. Do you want to hurt me? Why would tell me this?"

"We are friends and I would like to think that you would tell me about your first kiss as well."/

Snape groaned and seemed even more upset. "He was your first kiss?"

"Well, yeah.. Who else would have it been up to now?" Lily meant this as rhetorical question. It was not like she spoke to a lot of boys in general. So when should this moment have presented himself before last night?

"Are you serious right now, Lily? Who else? How about anyone but him?" Snape had started shouting but stopped once Lily put her hand on his wrist. Quietly he added: "I would have done it for you." Again his cheeks flushed bright red and he bit his lip, almost regretting saying this.

Lily quickly drew her hand back. James could tell that Lily felt so guilty right now. "I know you would have. But I had the possibility to have my first kiss last night and I took the opportunity. Do I regret having it with James? No not at all." This made James his heart jump. "I was not drunk. James did not take advantage of me. For the record: I asked him to kiss me. And he was a perfect gentlemen, making sure I was okay every single moment." Lily seemed to think about last night and reminiscence. She continued in an airy voice, almost as she was experiencing last night over and over again. "He was sweet, gentle and powerful."

"Please, spare me the details. I do not want to hear it."

This comment caused for a sad look on Lily's face, but she looked determined as well. "I will not apologize for this, Severus. I can do whatever I want with whomever I want. But I can tell you it was never my intention of hurting you."

"Well, you did not do a very great job at that then." Snape sneered as he stood up. He was about to walk away, but turned around slowly. "I will probably regret asking this, but I have to know. If there would have been a situation where I could have been your first kiss, would you have let me?"

Lily shook her head almost undetectable. In a small voice she answered: "No, Sev. You know how I feel about you. I like you as a friend."

Snape averted his eyes, not being able to look at Lily any longer. His lips started to snarl. "So that means that we will never share a kiss." There was a moment of silence between them and when he looked at Lily again it was with a pained gaze.

Snape knew that he could no longer be Lily her first kiss. Even though this news hurts him greatly and had shattered several fantasies, he still had held out hope for their future. Maybe there was the possibility, that if they had a romantic moment at one point, he could have been more to her than just a friend. Even though he could no longer be her first kiss, he could have been her last. But Lily made it clear that this was not a possibility for her.

So he turned around and stalked out of the Three Broomsticks, leaving Lily Evans behind with tears streaming down her face.