Chapter 37

It was after noon when Alex woke again. She almost wanted to try and go right back to sleep. There was a weight in her chest that did not have anything to do with any lingering illness. Memories of the conversation that morning only served to make it worse. She finally decided that laying there and going over every detail once again was not helpful, so she got up to find Lorne.

Thankfully, the woman was in the next room as per usual. Angeal was with her, which helped to buoy Alex's mood a little. At least until she remembered they would be leaving soon. She didn't say it out loud, but she decided that she would do all she could to make sure they weren't separated for long. She would have to be blind to miss that they had already started to care for one another.

By that time, Lorne caught sight of her and frowned. Before the shorter woman could say anything, Alex held up both hands and said, "Please don't get mad. I haven't tried to do anything like lifting or such. I just needed some fresh air. If I promise not to go far, can I go for a walk?"

Lorne let out a deep breath and looked Alex over. Whatever she found seemed to satisfy her since she nodded and said, "Alright, but I don't want you to leave this level, and I want you back within an hour. If you still feel up to more after you eat lunch, we can see what to do then."

Alex wasn't going to argue. She knew that was the best deal she was going to get. She thanked the girl before she turned to her brother with a smirk as she said, "I'll see you both in a bit. Don't get too cozy."

Angeal's eyes widened before he frowned at her. She could tell that he wasn't actually mad because there was a light dusting of pink across his cheeks. Before he could get into the lecture she could see coming, Alex waved at Lorne and ducked out. Her smile faded as soon as she was alone. Seeing her brother make a connection with someone like Lorne pleased her, but that did little to keep the pain back for long.

She already knew where she wanted to go, so she headed straight for the small balcony that jutted from the nearby hallway. It afforded a great view of the canyons. However, before she made it far, Sephiroth came around the corner, and they both stopped.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments, but it was finally Alex that broke the silence. She gestured behind him as she said, "I was just going out for some fresh air. If you aren't busy, would you join me?"

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before he said, "I was on my way to see how you were doing. If you have no issue with me coming with you, then I will agree."

Alex managed a small smile at his formality. She shook her head as she started walking again before she said, "I'm the one that asked you. If I had a problem with it, I wouldn't have."

He fell into step beside her, but neither of them spoke again, not even once they were out on the balcony. They both stood there and stared out over the canyons for several minutes before Alex finally broke the silence. "Actually, I'm glad I ran into you. There is something I wanted to ask you."

He looked down at her with that furrow between his brows. For a split second, Alex had the urge to massage it to see if she could make it go away. Thankfully, she curbed the urge and held her hands together to keep from doing anything that would make this more awkward. It helped that he finally answered, "What did you need to speak to me about?"

Alex took a deep breath. This was not going to be an easy conversation. She couldn't look at him as she said, "It's about what Bugenhagen asked this morning. About our son. I had not thought about naming him, but it feels like something we should do. He—he would have been ours to raise had things been different."

Several seconds passed before Sephiroth gently turned her to face him. The furrow had been replaced with a frown, and his eyes held confusion and pain. She had rarely ever seen him this open. His words did not help. "I had not considered naming him. Are you sure you are alright with this? Would it not be easier to put it behind you? I can see that it pains you, even if you were initially unwilling."

Alex didn't answer right away. Instead, she studied his eyes. She had been so focused on herself that she hadn't considered Sephiroth's feelings. After a few moments, she raised her hand and placed it on his chest. The action made his eyes widen, but she didn't give him the chance to back away. "I am sure everyone can see how much this hurts me, but what I want to know is how you are. How is this affecting you? You may be distant most of the time, but you are still human."

Several things passed through his eyes before he took a step back. Alex didn't allow the distance and stepped forward. Sephiroth looked taken aback by her action, but only for a moment. He then turned to face the railing again as he answered, "I will admit that this has been difficult to understand. I have no reference for any of this and am unsure what I should be feeling."

It was Alex's turn to take his arm and pull until he faced her once more. She swallowed once when she caught sight of his stormy eyes, but the only other indication of his inner turmoil was the furrow between his brows. She ignored them both and took one of his hands in hers. She then looked him in the eye as she said, "Sephiroth, emotions are not logical. There is no point in trying to put them neatly into labeled boxes—they won't fit. Most of the time, they rarely make sense to any of us. Plus, people react differently to things. What one person finds uncomfortable, another might see it as devastating. You don't have to understand it all to be able to experience it. Instead of trying to hide it and deal with it alone, why don't you tell me what you feel? Maybe—maybe we can help each other."

Sephiroth looked down at their joined hands before he looked back up into her eyes. He watched them for nearly a minute before he said, "I am unsure where to begin, but I can say that finding you nearly dead caused me physical pain. I have never felt anything like it. Something similar happened when the elder told me that the child was our son. What was that?"

Alex took a deep breath before she put her hand on his chest again and said, "Did it hurt here?"

When his brow furrowed further and he nodded, Alex hugged him. His words didn't help her confusion or pain, but now wasn't the time to be worried about herself. Instead, she said, "That is why it is called a broken heart. It feels like your heart is being ripped to shreds. It isn't always because of romantic feelings. More often than not, it happens because you have lost something or someone you care about." She paused long enough to pull back and look into his eyes as she said, "My heart hurts too."

She then placed his hand on her chest and watched as he tried to assimilate what she had just said. She barely even noticed that tears had started to fall until he pulled her into an embrace. She leaned into him as they stood there like that for several minutes.

Alex didn't want to move. She hadn't realized how comforting this could be. It still hurt, but somehow this eased the ache. Hopefully, it was the same for Sephiroth. She almost protested when he finally pulled back. Though, she was glad to see that some of the pain had faded from his eyes as he said, "Thank you. I am still unsure of several things, but I am glad we spoke. The pain is lessening. I only hope it is the same for you."

Alex managed a weak smile, but it was real. She squeezed his fingers as she nodded. "Yes. It isn't going to go away, but over time it will get easier to handle. That is what losing someone special does. We can learn to live on, though. I'm glad we can help each other."

Sephiroth shocked her when he wiped away a fresh tear with his thumb. The action caused Alex to tense, but she didn't move away. Instead, she watched as he struggled to find the words he wanted. Though she nearly breathed in relief when his hand dropped to her shoulder, and he said, "I will gladly help."

Alex felt like a coward when she moved back a step. She maintained her smile, but she couldn't handle the intimate contact. It made things more difficult to deal with. Especially when she realized she wanted his touch. That was too much right now. They had many things they needed to deal with, but she couldn't push him away again. Instead, she said, "Thank you."

He nodded once and said, "Please let me know any time you need assistance."

Alex nearly felt like laughing at his delivery, but he didn't give her a chance to say anything. Instead, that furrow formed once again as he said, "In regards to your question earlier, I will defer to your judgment. However, if you choose to name our son, then I will assist any way I can."

Alex instantly lost her smile, but she didn't clam up or step away. Instead, she said, "I think I would appreciate the help, but right now isn't the time to figure it out. Why don't you think about it, and we can talk again later. If I don't get back soon, Lorne is going to come looking for me, and I don't want that."

Sephiroth looked like he wasn't sure how to take her response. Finally, he nodded as he said, "I will escort you back. If you do not mind, I can check on you again later this evening."

Alex nodded as she said, "I would appreciate it."

After a late lunch, Lorne insisted that Alex try to take a nap. Alex was still tired enough that she tried, but that didn't mean she was able to sleep. As soon as she laid down and the quiet crept in, her mind filled with thought after thought. Most of them had to do with the what-ifs. What might have happened if she had done things differently. However, those weren't the only things keeping her awake. Her conversation with Sephiroth had a starring role as well.

She had already acknowledged, at least to herself, that she cared about the general. She hadn't wanted to at first, not with how she knew it would hurt Genesis. Still, like she told Sephiroth, emotions were not logical.

That didn't mean she was ready to jump into something new. Now was not the time. She believed it would be best for everyone if those kinds of thoughts were pushed to the back burner for now. Feelings could wait until they were not still trying to figure out how to survive. Even so, she had a sneaking suspicion that the outcome would not change.

After nearly an hour of those circling thoughts tormenting her, Alex gave up on trying to sleep and got up. It was still mid-afternoon, so there was plenty of time for a game of chess. The hard part would be convincing Lorne that she was all right to leave for that long.

When she found the woman, she wasn't sure if she was glad that her brother was still there or not. It was a fifty-fifty shot that he might help her, or he might agree with Lorne that she still needed rest. That didn't keep her from speaking before either of the others could. "I know I should be resting, but I have too much on my mind. I was hoping to get permission to go play a little chess. At least it would keep me occupied."

Whatever Lorne had been about to say left her in a rush. She sighed before she said, "I understand. That doesn't mean it's okay for you to push yourself."

Alex shook her head. "I won't be. I can take it slow to go to the café, and from there I'll be sitting. There is no struggle involved."

Lorne crossed her arms and looked at Alex with narrowed eyes. That lasted long enough for Alex to almost concede, but she held out. Finally, Lorne sighed again and shook her head. "All right. I'll give you permission, but only until dinner. After that, you should be back in bed. I know you are mostly healed, but the surgery will take time to bounce back from, even with cures and potions."

Alex managed a small smile as she nodded. "I'll be sure to come back as soon as dinner is over." She then glanced at her brother and felt her lips tilt up a little more at the sight of his frown. She gave him a quick hug as she said, "Don't worry. I promise to take it easy."

He huffed to cover a smile that was forming, but he still said, "Don't think I won't come looking for you if you aren't back." Alex nearly laughed but settled for a smile as she waved and walked out. She hadn't taken the warning for granted either. Her pace was sedated as she made her way through the halls and toward the village center.

The halls were empty at that time of day, but even though there was no one around, the idea of a new match kept her from overthinking things while she walked. At least until she finally did run into someone—two someones actually.

Alex didn't recognize either man, but that didn't keep them from being familiar. She knew she hadn't seen them in the village, though. The thinner of the two stepped forward with a smile that made Alex take a step back. She wasn't sure why, but something about the two men made her uncomfortable.

She was getting ready to excuse herself and rush past them when the man that stepped forward said, "Ah, you must be the esteemed Alexandra Hewley. We have heard quite a bit about you since we arrived."

Alex frowned but remembered her manners. "Yes, that would be me. However, I feel a little awkward since I don't know who you are."

The man's smile grew as he lowered his head for a moment and said, "Please forgive me. My name is Fuhito, and this is my comrade, Shears."

Those names caused a spike to go through Alex's head. It wasn't her foggy memories. This time it was the scattered images of what might be. None of the things that floated to the surface in her mind eased her worry. Still, she somehow managed to give them both a nod as she said, "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you both, but I must get going."

Before she could leave, Shears stepped into her path and blocked her escape. That action made her heart rate spike, but she kept it hidden. She frowned at the man, but it was Fuhito that said, "Please wait a moment. I must admit that I have been looking forward to this meeting. You see, I am a scientist myself and have heard of you before. In fact, when I first saw your thesis, I was quite impressed. Even more so now that I know you are the twin of the esteemed Commander Hewley."

Alex felt a trickle of cold sweat drip down her spine. She didn't know who these men were, but her instincts and those images from the goddess all screamed danger. She hid the way her hands were shaking by crossing her arms as she said, "I appreciate the compliment. However, I am expected. Perhaps we can talk again before we leave."

The man's smile twisted into a smirk as he said, "No, I don't believe that would be sufficient. Why don't you come with us, and we can sit and talk about your thoughts on my projects as well."

Alex was done playing polite. She didn't say another word before she turned to run back the other way. Unfortunately, she didn't make it far before Shears grabbed her. He threw one hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming, while the other twisted her arm behind her back in an iron grip she couldn't get away from.

She instantly started struggling, but Fuhito grabbed her attention when he walked in front of the two. His genial smile did not match the dark look in his eyes as he said, "Miss Hewley, I insist that you come with us. There are so many things we could discover together. Plus, I have a deep desire to meet your brother, but I would prefer it if the circumstances were more in my favor."

By that point, Alex was nearly choking on her panic. Her heartbeat had become erratic, and she felt like she might faint. It was only the memories of what happened the last time she was in this kind of situation that kept her from doing so. Though, those memories did not help.

When Shear's grip on her arm twisted it further, all Alex could think was that it was going to break any moment. The knowledge that she was far less brittle now never even crossed her mind. All she could see was Weiss's smirk as he kept twisting until her arm had snapped.

Her breathing had become as erratic as her heartbeat, and she was getting dizzy from the lack of air. Shear's hand over half her face didn't help. Still, Alex refused to be taken again. In a brief moment of clarity, she quit trying to scream and instead bit down as hard as she could on the palm over her face.

Shears let her go with a curse, but her release was brief. She had barely managed to suck in a few deep breaths to try and clear her mind before he had her back in his grasp one more. This time, the grip on her arm was tight enough that she could feel the bruises forming already.

Still, she ignored his hold on her. The brief interlude had allowed her head to clear a little, and she forced herself to calm down. Panic would not help, and she needed to fight with everything if she wanted out.

She grabbed his fingers with her free hand and shocked the man when she managed to start prying them off. He obviously had not expected her to be able to. However, her small victory was temporary. Fuhito had come back into her line of sight and was no longer smiling.

Instead, he glared at Shears and growled out. "Hold her still. This sedative will work nearly instantaneously, but I can't inject her if she is squirming like that!"

Those words had Alex redoubling her efforts. She had already experienced this more times than she should have ever had to. If he managed to knock her out, there was no way to get away and no telling what he would do. Her panic was back, but this time it helped her gain strength. She managed to kick Shears in the shin hard enough that she heard something snap.

The man growled near her ear and pulled her arm hard enough that she was sure it was about to break. However, his move also gave her the opportunity to throw her head back and catch him off guard. The sharp motion hit the man squarely in the nose, and his grip relaxed enough for her to pull away.

The first thing she did was scream. A sharp blow connected with her stomach and immediately cut the sound off as she fell to her knees. Still, her hope was not gone. The halls may have been empty, but someone had to have heard her.

Immediately on the heels of that thought, a huge blur passed her, and she heard the sound of a strike, then a body crashed into the wall behind her. She turned to see Shears was crumpled on the floor, and her brother had Fuhito pinned to the wall.

The scientist was yelling as he struggled against Angeal's grip, but her brother ignored the man and turned worried eyes toward her. "Lorne insisted that I come and make sure you made it. I heard you scream and came running. Are you all right?"

Alex nodded as she shakily got to her feet. "Just a little rattled."

Angeal glared at the man in his grip once more, and it caused the scientist to whimper. Not that Alex blamed the man. She had never seen her brother so angry. Still, she wasn't shocked that he was able to control it as he turned back to her and said, "I hate to ask this, but do you feel steady enough to go get one of the elders? I don't want to give these guys a chance to escape."

Alex was already shaking hard enough to make her teeth rattle as the adrenaline started to ebb. Still, she managed a nod as she stuttered out, "I—I'll be right back."

Her brother's soft voice barely carried to her as she walked away. "Be careful and scream if you run into anyone unfamiliar. I promised you would be safe."

Alex had to swallow her tears as she nodded. That was all she could muster before she turned to find someone she trusted.

A/N: I don't know about you all, but I loved that interaction between Seph and Alex. Even if it was awkward lol. Also, what do you think of Angeal losing it when he saw Alex in danger? Can you imagine an angry Angeal? Like really angry? That would be terrifying. Anyway, we obviously have one more chapter in Cosmo Canyon, but they will be departing for Nibelheim soon. I hope you are looking forward to it! Thanks for reading and cheers!