PART 37

Voldemort sat in his study looking at the résumé of the latest French aristocrat looking to join the Death Eaters.

"Well, Vindemiatrix de Sade, I am very impressed. You are very qualified. Killed over 200 muggles and tortured another 500. You have collected 150 squib brains for the Institute of Magic Eugenics. You have accomplished more than all my Death Eaters combined. How on earth have you not been caught?"

"Le connections and also le body."

"Hm..," Voldemort put down the résumé and leaned back, distracted.

"What is it monsieur Dark Lord?"

"You remind me of somebody else, that's all."

Bella leaned over the desk seductively.

"A beautiful woman?" she whispered.

"Woman?" Voldemort laughed. "No..," Then he sighed, sentimental. "Now the ancient Greeks, they had the right idea..."

Bella's lips curled like she had swallowed a lemon. She crawled off the table. Even while rapidly losing his mind, the air-headed brat that was her cousin had to ruin her life.

"And this person of whom you speak," she said casually. "Has he- or she- accomplished more than me? Killed over 200 muggles and all that other stuff in my impressive CV?"

"Maybe not but he's like 20 years younger than you are-"
"10 YEARS! 9 and a half!" Woops. "Er I mean who?"

Bella was in the mood of making sure Sirius never got older.

"I supposed my vast experience, compared to this other person, would make me seem a lot older."

"Yes and your make-up as well. Makes it look like you're trying to look younger."

"If the Dark Lord prefers women who look older… Describe your dream woman, or man, and I can become her! Or him."

Voldemort was not listening at all. He was reading the news now.

"You asked why this other person reminds me of you? Because you're prolific. And so is this chap."

"Has he killed 200 muggles?"

"Just listen to this: Hogwarts student confesses: I planted the Mosca Verde in that mainstream London Cinema." Put down article. "I don't know if you caught it in the news but-"

"A bunch of muggles get massive erections while watching Annie Hall? I didn't know it was that kind of movie."
"It was The Spanish Greenfly. My best Death Eater planted it there."

Bella felt a knife twist around in her wicked heart.

"Bunch of muggles get erections, so what? I fail to see why that's so praise worthy if I'm honest, Sir. I don't need a Mosca Verde to achieve that!"

"The muggles will never know it was a Mosca Verde, will they? Instead they were mistaken for some crazy sect. They were dealt with by their police, and not so nicely either."

"Not so nicely?" Was he even hearing himself, Bella wondered. He had lost it!

"I'm not saying it's up there with killing 200 muggles. Maybe the results aren't THAT impressive. But it's about being creative! Thinking outside the box! I mean, just imagine if it had been something like the Egyptian Swarmer. My people don't use the organic Dark Arts nearly enough."
"I can find an Egyptian Swarmer if that's what Monsieur wants!"

"It's not about what I want. It's about not being so conventional and predictable. But they say the brain loses all flexibility after 21..."

"Nonsense! That definitely doesn't happen a day before 26."

"Actually I wonder if it happens at 25? After that it's bye bye, make way for the youngins..."

"You seem to have this person in very high regard, monsieur Dark Lord. How long have you even known him?"

Voldemort swivelled restlessly back and forth in his chair.

"A couple of weeks."

"If I may change the subject, of foulest of diseases, what do vou think of… earwyrms?"

"Works like a charm."

"I am sure they do, oh dirtiest of fantasies But… it's not real, 'though. Is it? I mean, if you use earwyrms to make some people see the truth, do they really, truly get it? If you don't mind me being so blunt of tightest of fluffy handcuffs."

"I don't really care Miss Le Sade. It works very well for some. They develop into wicked beings but remain perfectly functional for many years before they go completely bonkers. The ends justify the means. These are people that are being treated for a severe defect in their minds. It's better for them to be treated and die early, than for them to remain untreated and bring great dishonour to their families by having extreme left communist views."

"Yes you are so wise, so very wise indeed."

Bella strummed her long, manicured fingers against each other.

"I just sometimes wonder if there isn't a better way? If it wouldn't be better if there was a way to make them come to their senses for real. But maybe I'm just naive that way..."

"I definitely think you are very naive, Bella."
Bella pulled down her hood and laughed nervously.

"Nothing ever gets by you, Mr Dark Lord!"
"Why are you here?"

Bella crawled on top of the desk again.

"Please let me serve you again! Were you not pleased with me? You should have said something!"
"Look I made a deal, alright?"

"So what? You're the Dark Lord! You wouldn't just trade me for some deal, you know I am so much better than him!"
"I am the Dark Lord. I traded you for some deal. You are better than him. And that's why you must help me now."

Bella blinked a couple of times. Then she reached out to touch Voldemort, like he was Jesus, and she a leper.

"What do you want? Say the word, master!"

"You came just in time."

"Is it obvious?"

"I have eyes and ears everywhere. It has been reported to me that an attempt is going to be made today to rid Sirius of his earwyrms. You have to go to St Mungos and stop it. Nobody can know it was earwyrms."

Bella rolled off the desk for the final time and did a salute.

"Right away, sir! I shan't disappoint you! Say no more I shall find him and kill him immediately!"

"No don't kill him! Bring him to me!"

"His screaming head on a bed of rockets, you got it!"
"Alive, whole and sentient with not a hair out of place."

"As you wish, oh shadiest of greys. There is no rush. You are so wise, my lord, my master!"
Bella grabbed her coat from a chair and disappeared with a crack.