Merlin couldn't sleep, it was 5:37 AM, or at least that's what his phone said, when he had checked it for the millionth time. He hadn't been able to sleep, the excuse of the party still going on only lasted until one, when everyone had finally left and the house went quiet. Now, Merlin had to face the fact that he couldn't sleep, because he could still feel the ghost of Arthur's lips on his own and the words Arthur spoke to him, something along the lines of "I'm disgustingly in love with you," echoing on repeat in his mind. How could he sleep? He was not equipped to handle this, he was not made to understand what he was supposed to do now or how he was supposed to go on after this. He had no experience in feelings or relationships, and this wasn't even a relationship, it was just a mess...one big mess, and Merlin didn't see a way out of.

So no, he had no reason to be getting a good nights sleep, and he wasn't. Instead, his mind was playing with him, freaking him out and suggesting that even though Arthur said he had meant what he said, he had been drunk and maybe he hadn't meant it at all. Merlin didn't think he could take that, even worse than he couldn't take the thought of Arthur actually being in love with him. Merin couldn't stand it. 5:38 AM, and Merin was pushing the blankets off of himself and standing up. He had waited long enough, right? Arthur should be awake by now...

That wasn't true at all, but Merlin couldn't stand it another moment. He patted Dragoon on the head, who looked confused as he got out of bed, and Merlin headed out of the room, he knew the dog wouldn't miss him. He would just curl up on his pillow like he always did and think he was living the highlife. Which, he probably was, for a dog at least. Merlin shut the door behind him and was immediately frightened by two figures standing by the stairs, just down the hall. His eyes adjusted to the dim, almost lightness of the hall and noticed at least one of these two figures was Morgana, the other...to Merlin's utter horror, if he were being honest with himself, was the bloke, Leon, who Arthur said had been flirting with Morgana all night. Merlin had noticed that too, and how Morgana seemed to enjoy this, but he hadn't thought that she would...well, do that.

Morgana noticed him there staring and her eyes narrowed at him, bringing a finger up to her lips, as if to shoosh him. She wanted him to keep her secret. He didn't really know what to do, he would just have to add this to the list of things that he didn't know how to handle. She disappeared down the stairs, along the this guy and Merlin waited there, in silence. Feeling kind of grossed out and alarmed by the whole thing. What was with all these Pendragon's and sex? Was it just Merlin, was he weird? Was he weird for not letting sex control his every whim? Maybe...

Morgana came back up the stairs after several minutes and Merlin was still there, but now he was walking toward her, as she headed for her room. "Morgana," he said, and she looked back at him with a raised eyebrow and a challenging look. "What are you doing?"

"Going to bed, what does it look like?" she offered back and he just stare at her, she only stare back. She was not forthcoming with words like Arthur was, but in a lot of ways she was a lot like him. Stubborn and always thinking that she was right, it was a gift they got from Uther.

"What were you doing with that guy?" That was a question he didn't think he really wanted answered and her smirk at his words said that one; She wasn't going to answer it and two; He was right in thinking he didn't want to know. "What happened to you being a strong, independent woman who didn't need a man?"

"Oh, I don't need a man," said Morgana, pointedly. "But that doesn't mean I can't use them for something I want." She grinned and it was dark and almost evil like, Merlin didn't like it at all. "Goodnight, Merlin."

And then she was slamming her door in his face and he felt a little bit like he didn't know Morgana as well as he thought he had, and that bothered him a lot. "What are you doing?" he heard a voice behind him, and turned around to see Arthur there. Still shirtless, as he had been all day, but now he had pants on, instead of red swim trunks and he looked a little wrecked, and that made him feel better, if Merlin was being honest. "I heard voices..."

"I was just, um..." said Merlin, because he was trying to keep Morgana's secret. Because he loved Morgana and he didn't want to betray her. Also, he wasn't entirely sure how Arthur would take this information. "You know..." he trailed off and gulped, because now he was remembering Arthur kissing him and that wasn't helping him trying to think of a cover for why he was there, in front of Morgana's door, at five in the morning. "I going to...-"

The loo, just say the loo, but he couldn't and Arthur glared at him now. "She shagged Leon!" Arthur announced loudly, and it wasn't even like a question, he was saying straight facts and he wasn't wrong. Merlin shook his head though and felt like his blood pressure was going to permanently be raised being apart of this family.

"No...I, uh...I can't say I-"

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur retorted. "I know she did! I heard him talking!"

"How'd you do that?" asked Merlin now. "I hadn't heard anything..."

"Well, you were sleeping, how could you?"

"I wasn't sleeping..." Merlin trailed off and Arthur stared at him.

"You weren't?" asked Arthur and Merlin shook his head no. "Why not?" Merlin shrugged his shoulders and bit his lip. Arthur took a few steps closer to him now. "Me neither."

"You haven't slept?" asked Merlin now. "Are you still drunk...?"

"No," said Arthur with a smirk. It was kind of dark, but Merlin could still see it on Arthur's face. "I stopped being drunk a long time ago, about the time I realized I'm a fucking idiot."

"I mean I've known that for a while now..."

Arthur laughed and shook his head. He then grabbed Merlin by the arm and started pulling him toward his room. "You're getting bold these days," he commented, as Merlin allowed him to bring him into his rather dark room and shut the door behind him. "I like it." Arthur didn't look at him, as he walked over to his bed and sat down, he patted the spot next to him. Merlin lingered by the door for a second, wondering if this was the best idea to do. He ended up ignoring his worries after a second or two, and going to sit down next to him anyway. "So," Arthur pressed on after Merlin sat. "I can assume you weren't off to work or to the bathroom, you were coming to see me..?"

"Kind of..."

"Yeah," said Arthur. "That's where I was going, too. When I heard those two fucking traitors coming out of her room."

"Are you mad?"

"Not really..." Arthur admitted. "Just grossed out. I mean, really...I told him he could do better."

"Arthur!" shouted Merlin, looking over at him with a glare. "That's rude!"

"Yeah...maybe, but you forget I know Morgana better than anyone, she's insane," explained Arthur. "Leon is a good guy, pays his rent, helps his mother with the garden. Fuck...he goes to Church. He's training to be a police offer..."Arthur said and looked a bit crazed about it. "That's not Morgana's style at all. Satan is Morgana's style."

"People change, Arthur," Merlin said and Arthur shook his head, still looking a bit put off at the whole idea, even if he did say he wasn't mad. And Merlin had to think he was being a bit of a hypocrite, because according to Arthur, he did this stuff all the time with Morgana's friends. Or, had at least done so before. "Maybe she really likes Leon..."

"She doesn't," Arthur scoffed. "She thinks men owe her something, she's really that insane...she only likes you because you're gay."

"Hey!" argued Merlin then, and Arthur looked over at him with a funny look.

"Oh, come on, Merlin!" Merlin only pouted and Arthur grinned at him then. "At least denial is cute on you..." Merlin continued to pout more and Arthur chose to ignore this. To, instead, lay down and pull Merlin with him. They had shared beds before, of course. But right now it didn't seem like the best idea anyone could have, not that Merlin mentioned it or even bothered to really worry about it. Instead, laid his head on Arthur's shoulder. "Why did you want to see me...?"

Merlin had to really think back, as to why he had been coming to talk to Arthur. Truthfully, he wasn't entirely sure, his worry had just spilled over on him and he just wanted to know if Arthur had meant what he said. "I just...I got scared," he admitted and felt like a toddler, so he carried on quickly. "I was worried you didn't really mean it...you know, what you said."

Arthur huffed, and Merlin turned more toward him to look at his face. He was only staring up at the ceiling and Merlin couldn't tell if his eyes were open or not. "I meant it..." he finally said, after a long moment. "I told you I didn't just say all that because I was drunk...maybe if I hadn't been drunk I might not have said it, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. Because, Merlin...it's so fucking true. Every word."

Merlin bit his lip, because alright...he already knew that it was true, at least he had hoped, and okay Arthur...wasn't lying, but it still felt unbelievable and so strange to think. And scary, because he had no idea what any of it meant still. "I just...I don't know what we're supposed to do now."

"Nothing," answered Arthur. "We can't do anything. I know I don't give a shit about much, and everyone thinks I do what I want...because I do, mainly. But, I won't chance this, even if I want to be selfish, I don't trust them...I don't want them to do anything to you, if they were to find out."

"What do you mean?" asked Merlin now, because Merlin hadn't been thinking about what Uther or Hunith might do. Sure, he figured they would not be very pleased with the thought, but more than anything, the moral idea of it had been on Merlin's mind, rather than their parents.

"My father literally almost beat my ass when he found out I was bi, imagine him finding out about this...forget what he might do to me. I don't want him to throw you out, or to do anything to you," explained Arthur, very seriously, and it made Merlin feel a bit on edge and like he were rather childish for thinking so narrow-minded about this problem, and it was, it was actually a problem. "And your mother has zero mother instinct, she would probably sing Uther's praises as he slammed the doors on you. I can't let that happen. I won't."

Merlin wasn't really scared at the idea of being thrown out, it was more the idea of him not having anywhere to go. But even so, even with these thoughts now plaquing his mind as well as the other things he already worried about, his heart still bleed a little bit harder for Arthur all of a sudden. Because Arthur wasn't being selfish or greedy, or all of the other things people, and Merlin himself, have thought about him before. He was being mature and thoughtful and putting Merlin's well being before his own wants. It was almost as if the feeling he got, the first time, when he had looked at Arthur and realized he felt more for him than just a passing fancy, when Arthur had taken care of him after he had gotten stupidly drunk and then very sick. It was as if that feeling, that rush of realization hit Merlin again, only this time, ten times harder. The power of it took his breath away and he found his throat was all but closed up and he couldn't swallow.

He gasped and Arthur looked over at him, with concern in his eyes, that Merlin could now see just a little bit better, since the sun was starting to rise. And then Merlin plowed forward, firmly pressing his lips against Arthur's. He was pretty sure this was the first kiss he had actually initiated , he was pretty sure the first two had been Arthur. Of course the first had been, the second, last night...Merlin wasn't entirely sure, but it had been Arthur in control both times. Now however, it was Merlin in control and he tried to mimic the way Arthur had kissed him before, with sureness and confidence. He wasn't entirely sure how well he was pulling that off, but Arthur kissed back so, maybe alright...

This kiss, unlike the pervious two, didn't last very long. It was Arthur who pulled away, just like the last two times as well, and he shook his head. "We can't keep doing that either," he said and Merlin nodded. Because, of course he understood that, but he hadn't been thinking too terribly clearly a second ago.

"I just thought..." Merlin mumbled. "You know...one for the road, as a goodbye."

Arthur laughed. "You're a weirdo," he said, but then pulled Merlin in for another one of those quick kisses. Which, Merlin liked, but he liked the longer ones better, if he were being honest. "Alright then...goodbye."

"Am I meant to leave now though...?" asked Merlin and Arthur laughed again. "Because I don't really want to."

"No, but you should stop talking and go to sleep."

"No, I think I'll just give up sleep and become a vampire instead."

"What the fuck does that even mean?" offered Arthur then, and his voice was rough, but playful. Merlin smiled at it, as he laid his head back down on Arthur' shoulder and closed his eyes. "You've honestly gone crazy, I think all the kissing has went to your head."

"Maybe..."

(A/N: Hello, long time no see. (-side eyes- if there are people left to see...?) So basically I decided to end this story since it pisses me off. Of course, it doesn't REALLY piss me off, but I just can't figure out a direction I want it to go in, I've rewritten it like 700 times, so I give up. If I decide how I want it to go I will just make a sequel. However, the next chapter will be it's last. I hope you all enjoyed!)