Chapter 37

They had been home for a week. Amanda was checked out by Dr. Lee and cleared for normal activity. Olivia was prepared for Amanda's clingy behavior and nightmares, what she wasn't prepared for were her own.

The first 3 nights, Amanda would start in their bed and then Peter would put her on the couch. It seemed as if Amanda slept through the nights and hadn't had any nightmares. The fourth night, Peter put her in her own bed, "Peter I don't want her that far from us." Peter laughed a little, "Baby she's the same distance as Noah. Plus she's been fine." What Peter didn't say was that Amanda asked him to put her in her own bed. Olivia took off two weeks from work to help Amanda, but Amanda seemed to bounce back pretty fast. She told Peter, "I think mom is nervous about something happening to me." Peter looked at his wife, "Come on, you help me and you can see she's fine."

Peter found an empty bed at 2 AM, he found Liv sitting on Amanda's bed watching her sleep. "Baby are you ok?" Olivia was having a hard time, "I could have lost her. Her mother is bat shit crazy." Peter pulled her up, "No because you're her mother. She's ok and she will be ok. Baby you've got to let her go back to the Amanda we know." They went back to bed and Amanda sat up. She was actually awake the whole time. The truth was she wasn't able to stay asleep. She woke up every night on that couch and only asked Peter to move her so she could do what she wanted in her room.

Losing sleep was causing Amanda to be short with everyone. Olivia knew something wasn't right when she told her to go back to work. Amanda never turned down time with her. "Mom I'm good, you can go back early." Olivia looked confused, "Amanda I was gonna spend the day with you tomorrow, take you shopping." Amanda really wanted to spend the day with her, more than that she really wanted Olivia to lay with while she slept, "Well I'm ok. I didn't want you missing more time. We can always go on the weekend." Olivia didn't say it but she was on to her big time. Maybe going in tomorrow wasn't so bad. She needed to visit the prison and have a little chat with someone. "Ok. Whatever you want baby."

Amanda pretty much spent the day in her room with Kat. After her shower she told Peter what Amanda said. "Baby I hate to say this, but you're hovering. I didn't want to tell you, but Amanda asked me to put her in her bed." Olivia laughed right in his face, "Of course she did, now it makes sense." Peter narrowed his eyes, "She's not sleeping. I thought I heard her on the couch the other night, but when I checked on her she was asleep. Last night I got up, because I thought I heard her in her room. That's why I sat down. She went to you because she can fool you. She can't fool me." They talked about being more observant, but Liv decided to go back.

The next morning Lucy was making breakfast, Liv was feeding Noah, and Peter was answering emails. Amanda walked in and she looked awful. No good morning, nothing. She was never up this early in the summer and Noah was the first thing she went for. Peter knew then, that Olivia was right. She was usually right. "Good morning Amanda." She grabbed a juice, "Morning. Hey Noah. How's my little man?" Olivia knew she wasn't right, but she smiled, because she loved him so much. "I'm done feeding him, will you take him for me? He always goes back to sleep for you." She smiled, "Sure mom." They watched her talk so sweet to him and when his eyes closed she put him in his playpen for a short nap.

Peter left first, but not before telling Lucy he was available. They brought her up to speed this morning. Olivia sat beside her on the couch, "Last chance, I can still call in." Amanda almost broke down right there, but she didn't. "Have a good day and be safe." Olivia kissed her, "I love you." Once everyone was gone, Lucy asked if she wanted breakfast, "Did I ask for breakfast?" With that she got up and went into her room and slammed her door. Noah woke up and Lucy shook her head, thinking it was going to be a long day. About twenty minutes later she came out and went straight for the door. "Hey wait! Where are you going? It's not even 9:00." Amanda turned around, "First of all, you're not my babysitter or my mom. You're here for Noah. Second of all, it's none of your business. See ya."

Lucy called Peter, not wanting to scare Olivia. "She said what Lucy?" Lucy heard Peter's tone, "Peter don't over react, she didn't mean it. I just don't know where she's going." Peter listened, "I'll take care of it." Peter knew who to call, "Hi Mr. Stone." Peter laughed, "Dominick where is my daughter?" Dominick smiled through the phone, "She's meeting me at the cafe near the house." Peter told him they were all concerned, "Dominick, just keep an eye on her. Would you tell me if something was really wrong?" Dominick sighed, "I would, but she eventually tells you everything. Would you like me to bring her home?" Peter told him no, "I trust you son." Dominick smiled wide, "Oh and Dominick, stop calling us Mr. And Mrs. Stone."

Dominick hung up and looked at his watch. He ordered breakfast for both of them. He saw Amanda pass by the window and come in, "Wow you look like shit." Amanda stood up and tried to walk away, "Hey I was just joking. Sit down." Amanda sat down, she had been crying. The waitress brought the breakfast. "Why is everyone trying to make me eat?" Dominick knew something was really off, "Amanda you always eat and I ordered your favorite. You want to tell me what this is about or do you want to eat your blueberry pancakes? Your choice, eat or talk?" Amanda started eating and she finished the plate.

After Dominick paid for the food, "So what now?" Amanda looked around, "Does your cousin still work at that hotel, the nice one?" Dominick shook his head not sure where this was going, "Yeah. Why?" Amanda held his hand and they started walking, "I want you to take me there." Before he could ask her what this was all about she said, "Don't ask me any questions. Just take me."

They went and Amanda sat in the foyer looking around at all the fancy chandeliers and business people walking by. She saw Dominick talking to his cousin. His cousin handed him a key card and something else. Dominick just shook his head. They walked to the elevator, "What did he give you?" Dominick laughed, "Baby he's an idiot. He was laughing and handed me a condom." Amanda really started to cry. She didn't want to have sex. She thought it was so dumb to ask to come to the hotel.

They got in the room and Dominick turned to her, "Ok Amanda, enough what's going on?" Amanda told him everything. She told him about waking up in the cabin, with blood soaking her shirt. Trying to wake up Kat and how scared she was alone. She told him about pissing all over herself, because her mother scared her that bad. She told about not being able to sleep and how embarrassed she was to almost 16 sleeping in her parents bed, not even Noah did that. "And now you think I want to have sex and I just wanted…"

Amanda sobbed, "Baby you never need to worry about what I think, Liv, Peter, Lucy, Kat, Melinda, Fin, and Darius, we all love you." Amanda stopped crying, "And gosh with Liv, nothing bad had to happen, for her to show you affection. She loves holding you, hell Amanda she hugs you before Noah. Amanda, she talked to me a little after you told her about tongue kissing me. Do you know what she said?" Amanda wiped her eyes and shook her head, "She said her only regret was not having you earlier. She said you were her first baby and she loved the fact that you were innocent and that she could hold like you weren't 15. She also told me never to push or hurt you and you were her missing piece."

Amanda held him, "You always tell her everything and if you stopped, you would hurt her." Amanda knew he was right. "Amanda my cousin is an idiot. I'm not here to have sex with you, because I know you're not ready. I'm a guy and I'm not ready, I'm curious but we haven't done anything and I'd rather be ready together. So I knew it wasn't sex, but I'm always here for you." Amanda smiled, "I'm so tired and I bit Lucy's head off. I just want to sleep with someone I trust, so nothing bad happens and I feel safe."

Dominick pulled the covers back and they climbed in bed. "Wait there's something else, please don't laugh at me." Dominick looked concerned. "I've been staying awake and not sleeping in their bed or on the couch, because…" Amanda stopped, "I'm afraid if I hear her voice or see her face, I will pee the bed. Liv wants to hold me. If I pee on her, the couch, or the bed." Amanda held her face and cried, "It's not like nightmares from the attack, I can't Dominick." He pulled her close, "Why didn't you tell Liv. You have to sleep Amanda. Let's try, just try it ok. Besides when we do have sex your stuff and my stuff would be all over us anyway. So what's a little pee." Dominick smiled trying to make her laugh. Amanda scrunched up her nose, "You are really disgusting. Two hours, three tops." Dominick rubbed her hair, "Sleep baby. I've got you."

Olivia called Lucy to check on Amanda. She almost declined the call, but knew better. "Hey Liv?" Olivia could tell by her voice, "What's wrong?" Lucy cursed at herself. "She left out this morning, after y'all." Lucy repeated the story and told her Peter was handling it. Olivia hung up and called Peter, "Liv I handled it." Olivia was mad, "Really what did you handle and where is she? I knew better, I know Amanda." Peter had no choice but to fully agree. He explained she was with Dominick and safe. "How's your day going baby?" Olivia rolled her eyes, "Fin and I went to see her mother. Cragen cursed me out and is sending me home for a week. Although I have to finish all of my paperwork, so he's not that upset." Peter's eyes got big, "Baby what happened?" Olivia giggled, "Oh just paid Beth Rollins a visit. Let's just say I scared the piss out of her." Peter laughed, "See you at home baby." Olivia immediately started working on files.

Amanda woke up feeling better. They called room service and ate lunch. "Baby will you take me to Liv." Dominick and Amanda got to the precinct, "Mom." Olivia looked up and didn't want to baby her, "Hey! Hi Dominick! So you're the reason she wouldn't hang out with me. I'm jealous." Olivia scrunched up her nose and gave Dominick a hug. Dominick knew it was more of a thank you. "Where are y'all headed to?" Dominick looked at Amanda, "I asked him to bring me here, because I wanted you." Amanda was near tears and Dominick gave a slight smile. "Ok do you want to sit here with me while I finish or do you want to go home?" Amanda sat down and rolled next to Fin, I just want to be with you."

Dominick kissed her, "I'll call you tomorrow." He gave Liv an eye to meet him outside. Dominick said goodbye to everyone and Fin kept Amanda busy. "I'm running to the bathroom, I'll be right back. Amanda are you good?" Amanda shook her head yes, she was always good with Fin. She met Dominick outside, "Hey Liv. She's struggling big time, she's afraid to sleep." Dominick told Olivia everything Amanda said. He thought she needed to know and didn't think Amanda would tell her soon enough. "I held her while she slept about 3 hours, but she wanted you."

In the car on the way home, Amanda didn't say anything. They walked in and she went straight to Noah. "Hi Noah!" She gave him lots of kisses. Olivia observed, but didn't say anything. "Lucy I'm sorry about this morning." Lucy hugged her, "It's ok." Amanda shook her head, "No it's not, but I'm sorry anyway." Lucy made a deal with her, "Well your home early, you can help me make dinner."

Olivia decided to feed Noah, shower, and change, while they cooked. Peter got home, "It smells good in here." Amanda perked up, "It's honey garlic salmon, rice, and steamed broccoli." Lucy told him, "It will be ready in 20 minutes Peter."

He went into the bedroom, "Baby?" Olivia called out, "In here. Noah exploded so I figured an early bath for both of us." Peter dried him off, "Dominick brought her to me today, around 1:00. She hasn't said much and I haven't pushed." Peter smiled, "He called me and said I was sworn to secrecy. They went to a hotel." You were absolutely right. She wanted to sleep and be safe. She hasn't slept and she's embarrassed to be her age, in our bed and in our room." Olivia added, "And the peeing. Yeah he got a chance to talk to me. Well, let's just have a nice dinner, enjoy some television, and see what happens at bedtime."

They enjoyed dinner and watched TV. Amanda had her head in Liv's lap, "Baby I'm putting Noah down." Olivia kissed him, then Amanda kissed him, "Night night Noah. I love you." Lucy went to her room, "Mom?" Olivia brushed her hair, "I'm scared to sleep. It's not like before, you know the nightmares. It's different. Before if you were there I still slept. This time it doesn't matter. I hate her. I'm too old for this and I know you guys are sick of it. I need you, but if I have an accident..." Olivia stopped her, "Hey stop it right now. I'm so glad I still get to cuddle with my favorite person and I'll tell you a secret, Peter hates cuddling."

Amanda laughed, "How about we sleep in your bed, so we don't bother Peter. Let's give it tonight and if you don't feel better, I'll call Dr. Lee in the morning." They said goodnight to Peter. The night didn't seem that bad. Amanda woke a couple of times, but Liv got her back to sleep and no accidents. Amanda was worried about it, but Olivia just thought it was in her head, because it happened. She talked to Peter in the morning and Amanda looked embarrassed, "Great so I'll sleep with my mom the rest of my life."

Peter kissed her on top of her head, "It's ok Amanda, wasn't last night better than it's been. You're the only one who can tell us." Amanda thought, "I felt better with mom there and I'm not tired, but I want everything to be the way it was." Peter went to work, while Olivia called Dr. Lee.

They went in for a quick appointment. "Hi Amanda." She checked her scar on her forehead, "That's healing nicely." Dr. Lee had Amanda explain what was going on and how she felt. Amanda wanted drugs, "If I have to tell one more person about my pissing problem ugh. Just put a fucking diaper on me, drug me up, and knock me out." Olivia's eyes shot up, "Amanda! Your only problem in a minute will be you being able to sit down." Amanda apologized immediately. Dr. Lee laughed, "I would rather not drug you. What I would like Olivia is for you all to be very busy today if possible. Get out, shop, walk, go to the pool, the park, just stay busy all day. Tonight try this app that plays calming music and sleep with her. See if that makes any difference. It may take some time, but Amanda let's be patient."

Peter was having his own problems, called Jim Rollins. This was the last thing they needed, Amanda was already struggling. After dinner Lucy and Amanda took Noah for a walk. This gave Peter the perfect opportunity. "Baby, I know we don't need this, but Jim Rollins contacted me today." Olivia hit the roof, "Absolutely fucking not. He will not have any contact with her. Right now with everything going on. So much for sleeping tonight." Peter eventually calmed her down.

When Amanda got back they sat her down. "Lucy, will you give Noah his bath for me?" Lucy agreed, "Amanda come sit with us." Amanda was worried already, "What's wrong?" Peter started explaining, "Nothing is wrong. Your mom and I made a promise to you about being honest and telling you what's going on. Your dad contacted me today and he would like to speak to you. I told him I would ask you and we could FaceTime him tonight."

He passed her a phone number and she looked at Olivia. Olivia was hoping she would say no, because she was tired of them hurting her. "Ok. Can I use your MacBook to call?" Peter passed it to her and Olivia asked, "Baby do you want privacy?" She held her hand, "Please don't leave me?" He picked up, "Amanda, wow you are so grown up. I'm glad you called, honey I want another chance to be your dad. I'm so sorry about what your mom did. How are you?" Amanda looked at Liv and Peter. "Does Kim want to see me?" Jim looked, "Honey, she's been under your mom, she doesn't want to live with me, but she doesn't have a choice. She'll come around, especially if you decide to come back."

Amanda looked and laughed, "Wow! How dare you. What my mom did to me? How about what you did to me? I'm not your honey and you lost the chance to be my dad, when you walked out. I have a mom and dad who love me. They dropped everything to be my parents when you and Beth decided you didn't want me. I guess Kim and I have something in common, I don't want to be with you either. Don't contact me or my parents again. Goodbye Jim." Amanda hit the red phone.

"Thank you guys for being honest with me, but you're my family. I'm so grateful that you are." Peter and Olivia hugged Amanda tight. "Hey look Noah they forgot about us." Noah was babbling, "Amanda reached for Noah and pulled Lucy down, "Never! We are forever a family. I love you guys."

EPILOGUE-6 YEARS LATER

SO I DECIDED TO LEAVE IT OPEN IN CASE I WRITE ANOTHER STORY WITH GROWN UP AMANDA, KAT, DOMINICK, AND DARIUS.

PETER AND OLIVIA

Peter and Olivia are happily married and very much still in love. They are raising a very bright 6 year old who loves baseball. Peter has more time since leaving and starting his own private law firm with David Haden. Olivia is now Lieutenant Stone and in charge of SVU, since Cragen's retirement. Amanda still lives with them since she's so close to school. She loves being a big sister.

AMANDA AND DOMINICK

Amanda is a well rounded young adult who graduated at the top of her class after majoring in psychology. She declined all basketball offers, so she could focus on school and spend more time with her family. She is engaged to Dominick and they plan to get married as soon as he finishes Law school.

KAT AND DARIUS

Kat and Darius are married. They loved each other, so when Darius' mom got sick, they decided to tie the knot so she could see her baby get married. Kat also declined playing basketball, she took time off from school and her and Amanda graduated together. She also majored in Psychology. Darius is in Law school, but also puts his art degree to use for extra money.

FIN AND MELINDA

Fin is now a Sergeant Tutuola and Melinda is a stay at home mom. Turns out she wasn't the real problem having kids. Her and Fin had triplets 4 years ago, 2 girls and 1 boy. Kat is a great big sister and spends a lot of time with Amanda, Noah, and the triplets.

LUCY

Lucy finished school, with help from Peter and Liv. Liv gave her money to start her own daycare, which Lucy has now expanded into a private school for Pre K-5 students. It's a pretty high class school and requires multiple references to attend.

ALEX AND DAVID

Alex and David got married and had twins the same time as Melinda and Fin. Alex left high school administration to become principal at Lucy's school. David is working with Peter in the private firm