"She did not want the world the way it was," - Lola Ridge, from To the Many; Collected Poems of Lola Ridge; "Hellish,"

9 December 1941

Alice smiled at Mrs. Collins as the woman handed her a cup of tea. It warmed her hands while the entire household gathered around the radio - holding a silent vigil as they tried to process the news.

She could hardly believe what had happened; they'd supposed Japan would get more involved in the war outside of China and the rest of Southeast Asia, but not like this. As more and more reports of places and locations hit in the near-simultaneous attack reached their ears, Alice felt… numb. How much longer was this war to go on? First Germany and Italy, now Japan was waging war in a completely different part of the world.

Would Matthew and Inspector Collins have to come back and fight in the Pacific? Would it be far more dangerous than where they were now? Would she even get to see them before they shipped out?

Fingering the locket around her neck, Alice gave what she hoped was a smile to Edith as the younger woman sat down next to her.

"Worried about your soldier?"

"I…" she wanted to say that Matthew wasn't hers, but the words couldn't come out past the anxious lump in her throat. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"I'm not surprised."

"What do you mean?"

Edith smiled, "It's obvious that you care for him."

"Well, of course, he's my friend."

"No, I mean really care for him… do you like him, Alice?"

"He's my friend."

Alice couldn't tell who she was trying to convince more: Edith or herself, but judging by that knowing look on her housemate's face, she wasn't buying it.

"Alice… you do like him, don't you? I can understand if you do - it would explain why the date fell flat."

Alice's cheeks warmed as she remembered the double date Edith had set up for them; her date was… an agreeable person - at first. What Edith hadn't heard was the man's disparaging remarks about Alice's schooling and unfavorable ones about the people in the armed forces - currently risking their lives for all of them back home. For Alice - who was helping Edith get a head start on her nurse's training, and viewed Matthew as her dearest friend - that had been the last straw; she excused herself once Edith came back. She knew the man would probably talk about her behind her back to Edith and Edith's date, but Alice didn't give a fig for his opinion anyway.

"Matthew isn't the reason the date fell flat."

"But you like him?"

She gnawed on her lower lip and pondered Edith's question. Matthew was a dear friend, probably her best friend - something she hadn't had in such a long time - but did she like him also in a romantic way? Sure, she might have daydreamed a bit of holding his hand at the cinema - in the way she'd heard Edith and Clara describe, or maybe that one time she wondered what it would be like to kiss him… but was that love or just some flight of fancy?

Alice didn't have a lot of experience - and not a lot of it was good either - with romantic feelings and dealings; she wasn't a blushing virgin when it came to the bedroom, but while people were alright with bedding her, they were more reluctant to actually get to know her. Matthew, however, had been different; he offered friendship first, offered to get to know her and exploring her interests while opening up and expanding her world. She cherished his friendship, cherished his letters, thoughts, and words that he poured out to her over paper and a vast distance.

But did she like him like that? Like him in a way that was also romantic? Like him enough to risk her heart in telling him (and potentially losing his friendship when he didn't return the feelings)?

"I… I'm not sure, Edith," she fiddled with the locket again - a familiar weight in her hand - the gold metal warming quickly as she held onto it.

Edith, for once, didn't pester and didn't push; there must have been something in the way Alice looked at her, but the young nurse-to-be simply nodded and got up; Mrs. Collins came Alice's way again and refreshed the now cold cup of tea in Alice's hands.

"I'm sure we'll hear news soon," she said, "but I think Matthew might like to know that you're alright - I'm going to write Hugh as well so he'll have more than one confirmation, but a letter might be a better use of your time and thoughts than getting stuck in a rut about these attacks."

Alice nodded and got up from her perch at the dining room table; Edith and Clara both sent her somewhat concerned looks - thankfully not pity, Alice couldn't stand being pitied - but let her pass without any comment as she went up to write a letter to the man confusing her heart and mind with each passing day.

13 December 1941

My Dearest Matthew,

No doubt you've heard what's happened. We're all alright down here in Melbourne, though Sydney got a bit of a scare.

I can't believe what's happened. It just… doesn't seem real at all even days later. The news coming out of all these places that were hit is just devastating, and I know you and the boys have been worried about us back home. We're alright; shaken, but alright.

To help ground me and make things feel more normal - more right - I'll set myself to answer your questions from your last letter.

My favorite flowers are… somewhat boring and somewhat strange. I love daisies and peonies - I prefer them over roses (though Superintendent Robinson has some lovely rose bushes that he's very careful of doling out the flowers of, I do get one on my birthday every year). But my absolute favorite flower - and you can't laugh at me - is Callistemon. They're so strange, but I love the color of them and that they're… not your typical flower. What are yours? You mentioned a while back that your mum taught you how to garden.

(You're a very dear friend to me too, and I'm glad you're enjoying Jane Austen.)

Yes, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are in a pickle, but luckily for you, there's still a good chunk of the book left and it gets so much better in their journey together; I think you'll really enjoy the resolution of this novel.

You'll come home, I believe it; you'll need to come home more than ever now, don't you think? Surely they'll see that you'll need to make sure the homefront is alright? You and boys have been gone for so long, you're due for a break from it all; even the Great War had leave for soldiers… you'll come home, even if it's for a short time.

It's a very nice blue, the dress that Clara and Mrs. Collins are cooking up for me to wear - and no I am not helping them make it, my sewing skills are still lacking for such a dress as this. You do, however, get to see my work for yourself, I… I made a few handkerchiefs for you for Christmas this year - especially embroidered with your initials so none of the boys can steal them from you for themselves. I like to think I've improved, but… I don't know. I'll let you judge if it's good or not.

Edith's parents are understandably worried (I wouldn't know what that's like, to have parents worried for you), especially now with the news around the Pacific, but her heart's set on being a nurse and doing her part in the war. She's a fast learner and has even accompanied me to a few of my more practical classes to get some hands-on experience, and so far she's not been squeamish about it at all. I think she's got what it takes; under the cheery exterior she puts up, she's got a spine of steel that could rival Mrs. Stanley's. I pity the soldiers that try to tease Edith once she's fully trained.

The date was… nothing exciting, and wasn't a good one. No, no letch behavior, just the typical attitude I usually get when I say I'm training to be a doctor; he also didn't think very highly of you soldiers and the other armed forces, so I took my leave instead of staying to hear anymore. He wasn't worth my time, and so isn't worth my thoughts, but I do appreciate the offer to assist me, Matthew. As I said, you're a very kind and sweet man, and I guess you've spoiled me for anyone else who might come along.

Was it really Addy who got into the biscuits, or did you overindulge yourself, my dear Matthew? In any case, I will send more - my shortbread has really improved if I say so myself - and try to keep Miss Spitfire out of them.

I'm safe, I promise, and I know Mrs. Collins will be telling Inspector Collins the same. You stay safe as well, I don't want our letters to end any time soon.

Your Friend,

Alice