Chapter 38 — Mitsuri

The first game of the Winter Cup quarter-finals is against Seirin.

Last year, Seirin had shocked all of its naysayers by speeding to the top with single-minded purpose. Most people attributed it to a one-time fluke, but were excited to see what the school had in its future. Unfortunately, Seirin isn't nearly as strong as they were last year. They've lost not only the Uncrowned King Kiyoshi Teppei, but also their fiery-tempered ace, Kagami Taiga.

The likelihood of Seirin winning against Rakuzan two times in a row is slight, but everyone is still excited to play each other. Ogiwara is thrilled to finally face Kuroko on court, and I can tell Akashi is anticipating the match as well.

The crowd for the game is huge, people no doubt remembering last year's results. Right before us, Yōsen is playing against Shūtoku, and tomorrow, Tōō will face Fukuda Sōgō and Kaijō plays Ōnite. Akashi has predicted that out of the game between Murasakibara and Midorima, Midorima will come out on top, since there isn't a lot Murasakibara can do against three-pointers, even with his height. Then, he expects that Aomine and Kise will both easily make it past their opponents. Aomine's been practicing hard ever since Kagami left for America, saying he'll be in the NBA soon, and although Fukuda Sōgō still has the formidable Haizaki, he's no match for Aomine's strength. Kise, too, has been fired up since his loss in the Inter-High. Assuming Akashi's predictions are correct (which they usually are), that places us facing Shūtoku in the semi-finals, and Kaijō and Tōō having their long-awaited rematch.

I could tell Akashi also had a prediction for those games, but he'd refrained from telling me, saying that he wanted it to be a surprise.

But right now, it's obvious that all that's on his mind is this game against Seirin.

The two players who have replaced Kiyoshi and Kagami are the steady-handed Mitobe Rinnosuke and the flexible Koganei Shinji. Both have an easygoing teamwork that helps keep the team balanced. Plus, seasoned veterans Izuki Shun and Hyūga Junpei are still ready to give it their all. Kuroko, with his low stamina, will often switch places with one of his fellow-second years. However, what Seirin lacks now is what they boasted last year: offense. Without Kagami as his light, Kuroko's shadow abilities are highly diminished, and while all the other players are talented and experienced, none of them have the fierce scoring power that Kagami did.

Of course, Seirin must know this, too, but they've more than made up for it, judging by their place in the quarter-finals.

It's just going to make this game all the more interesting.

After warm-ups, we're waiting in the locker rooms for our cue. Ogiwara is pacing with excitement, while Akashi appears to almost be meditating. I walk up to him and rub his shoulder.

"Are you feeling all right?" I ask.

He opens his eyes. "Yes. More than all right."

"Good."

For a moment, I was worried that he was dwelling on what happened last year, worried that if he lost again this year, his father would really make him quit basketball . . . but it seems like Akashi is more sure of himself than ever.

"It's time, Mitsuri," Reiha says, coming up from behind. "Is everyone ready?"

There's a cheer, and we head out onto the court. Bright lights flash as the eyes of hundreds peer down onto us, something I'll still never get used to. Reiha and I make our way to the benches at the side while Akashi, Ogiwara, and the rest of the Uncrowned Kings file onto the court.

"I wish I could've seen last year's game," Reiha whispers to me.

I nod.

I wonder what I would have thought if I'd been standing in the bleachers then. Would I have pitied Akashi? Laughed at him? Felt for him?

I remember, shortly after he lost, the whole of Rakuzan was abuzz with the news. Some people were shocked, some disappointed, some felt vindicated that Akashi's perfect image had been shattered.

Akashi, just like usual, hadn't seemed bothered at all by the attention. He still made his rounds as student body president. He could still be seen shouting at the basketball first-years. He still accepted challenges from the shōgi club. It was like, for him, nothing had changed.

Yet now I know: everything had changed.

And maybe, it's because of that match last year that I'm now sitting here with a front-seat view to one of the country's best high school basketball teams, as well as a close-up look of the boy I love.

The referee moves to the middle of the court, and although he tries not to show it, it looks like even he's getting anxious from the crackling energy between the two teams. He holds the ball up, whistles, and —

The game begins.

Valiant as ever, Seirin puts up an admirable fight, but in the end, we win. They'd managed to surprise us a few times with the appearance of a few first-years' hidden talents, something Akashi had said they'd pulled before, and everyone else, of course, fought as hard as they could. But maybe because it was Kuroko, Ogiwara and Akashi were even more passionate than usual. Each performed nearly flawlessly, their speed and accuracy things to be reckoned with.

And during the third quarter, Seirin began to fall behind.

The game ended, 81-60.

Although perhaps not as intense as last year's game, there's still a roaring cheer from the crowd when Ogiwara scores the last point. To perhaps everyone's surprise, including Rakuzan's, Akashi had made the split decision to throw Ogiwara an alley-oop, allowing him a last-second buzzer beater. Although at that time our victory was already secured, I wondered if Akashi and Ogiwara had been trying to be flashy . . . not as an insult to Seirin, but maybe to show off to someone.

It certainly worked on Reiha. She's standing on her legs, shrieking.

And I can't say I'm not impressed.

Through the thunderous applause, I can just catch a few words from the players still on court:

"Did you know why Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team? It's because she ran away from the ball!"

"Hahaha! You know, I've been practicing using all five fingers just for this day!"

"You may not be Kiyoshi, but you still put up a good fight."

". . ."

"He says thanks!"

"I'm flattered you tried to imitate my shots, Junpei-chan."

"I — I was not!"

And —

"You still play the same as ever, Ogiwara-kun."

"Kuroko! Were you really trying to predict my moves the entire game?"

"I tried. But both you and Akashi-kun have grown too much."

"If we have grown any, it's thanks to you, Kuroko." Akashi's voice, calm. Happy. "You were the one who taught us to keep going, after all."

"Yeah, he's right! I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, Kuroko!"

"Akashi-kun . . . Ogiwara-kun . . . thank you. I could say the same as well. If you hadn't introduced me to basketball, Ogiwara-kun, or if you hadn't seen the potential in me, Akashi-kun . . ."

"Perhaps we should call it fate then, as Midorima would."

"Midorima? Is that the green-haired one?"

"Yes. Midorima-kun is fond of horoscopes and Oha-Asa. But sometimes, I do think he's right."

Fate.

Is that what you call it?

For a long time, I tried relying on chance to make my decisions. A flip of a coin to choose where I went next. I stopped that soon after I joined the basketball team thanks to Akashi and Reiha's influences, so perhaps you could call where I am now the results of my own doing.

Or maybe it's destiny, after all.

Later, Akashi invites me out for Christmas Eve.

The day of, I am not entirely sure what to expect, but when I tell Reiha, who smirks at my stuttering, she helps me coordinate an outfit out of my measly and simple closet. She picks out a white skirt with a light blue shirt, almost like the colors of Rakuzan. It's something quiet but still elegant, and I have to admit that even though Reiha's style is usually bold, she knows how to tailor to others'.

With a pair of sandals and a clip to hold my hair up, I wait for Akashi. He'd told me he'd arrive at my house in ten minutes, and I have no doubt that he'll stay true to his words.

As I pass the time, Grandma and Grandpa loiter around, casting me curious glances and attempting to hold in their questions. They're both exhilarated at their granddaughters' new relationships.

It is a bit strange, I have to admit to myself, being in a relationship. The thing is, it almost feels like nothing has changed, even if such a title of boyfriend and girlfriend now applies to us. That's always been the sort of nature around us. Easy-going and comfortable; because we can say anything we want to each other, holding nothing back.

And perhaps that is what brought us to this moment now.

My smile widens. I never imagined Akashi Seijūrō to be my boyfriend. But I think I like the idea.

Right on time, a knock sounds on the door. My grandparents, as well as Reiha who had been lurking in the living room, all freeze in place. I send them a look before making my way to the door and opening it to greet him.

Akashi looks perfect as expected, dressed in quality-made clothes, his shoes shining. He glances over at my family, and a small smile dances over his face.

Grandma and Grandpa immediately pull him in, asking him what he's been up to, how school's been, how they heard about our win at Winter Cup, etc.

Finally, several minutes later, Grandma says, "Well, we'll not detain you any longer. You two go and have fun."

"Yeah, have fun," Reiha adds, her voice laced with teasing sarcasm.

"Thank you," Akashi says, choosing to ignore Reiha.

Then, he snakes his fingers through mine and leads me out of the house.

He takes me to a fancy restaurant first, and I'm glad I at least dressed up a little bit. I've never heard of the place, but the way the waiters all smile and greet Akashi like he's a regular, I wonder if he comes here often with his father, or if it's only his name that's familiar. When I tell him I have no idea what I want, he orders for me, and then we wait for the food to come, talking in our easy way. Then, we don't talk much at all when the food does arrive, only because I'm too absorbed with the superb taste of it. Akashi only seems amused by my sudden appetite.

After that, he takes me shopping in an expensive part of town. The whole area glitters like a rainbow, each shop doing its best to outshine the others with their Christmas lights display. Fake snow covers windows, and jingle bells and carols ring out into the cold night air. I think he wants to buy me something, but I'm too overwhelmed with all the choices to pick out anything.

Finally, after hours of perusing the city streets, we retreat to a well-lit park with a giant tree in the middle, vendors selling roasted nuts and cakes, and . . . I realize, couples mingling everywhere in sight.

Of course. I knew it was Christmas Eve.

I am still holding Akashi's hand. I squeeze it slightly. He glances down and squeezes back. There is that soft smile on his face, the one that I will always enjoy seeing, the one I will never get tired of.

"Thank you for tonight," I say.

"Have you . . . had fun?"

The words sound almost odd coming from him.

"Yes," I say. "It's been lots of fun. I always enjoy spending time with you."

He nods, almost like an assurance to himself.

I pause, our steps faltering on the pathway. "Is that . . . something you wonder about?" I ask him. "Having fun, I mean."

"What do you mean?"

"I just wonder, when you're someone like yourself, who has so many obligations and pressures, who always does so many things and has been pushed to be perfect at everything . . . do you ever just have fun?"

His face goes blank, and I know I've hit on something.

He says, "I enjoy . . . being with you."

"You're just parroting my own words," I tell him. "Always, always, you're like this. Never thinking for yourself and making decisions for yourself. What do you enjoy? What do you want to do?"

His breathes out. His hand tightens around mine.

We start walking once again, and after several minutes pass in silence, I don't think he's going to answer me.

But then he says, "I want to play basketball. I want to play until I can't anymore."

I smile. Good. He's speaking from his heart now.

"And I want to be with you. I want to kiss you."

My body stills, my breathing slowing.

He slowly rotates toward me, his gaze meeting mine. He lifts my hand up, slowly, and brushes his lips against my skin. I savor the sensation, the warmth from that simple touch eradicating any of the winter chill.

He lifts his head to meet my stare. There is hunger in his eyes, no doubt a mirror to my own gaze. I nod, almost imperceptibly, and a wonderful, wonderful smile stretches over his lips. It is not the satisfied smile he wears when a first-year correctly performs a shot. It's not the soft, sweet smile that is like a rare, hidden gift.

No, this is a smile born from pain, a smile crafted from the worst adversities — but a smile that has overcome that all and can now see beauty and light. It's like a miracle, I decide, this smile. Something that can only happen once in a lifetime.

And I know that even if I memorize it, even if I open my eyes wide so that I can take in every single detail — I'll never be able to recreate this smile. Because it's far, far too precious to be captured, to be wrangled into ink and onto a page. No, if I tried to draw something like this, it would only be a cheap imitation.

I consider myself a fairly good drawer, but there are always some things that no matter how hard you try or how talented you are, you simply can't draw. For me, it's the spark in Akashi's eyes and the beauty of his smile.

For so long, I've wanted to bring them to life. But now I realize that it's futile. Why would I want to put something on paper, frozen and useless, when I have this living, breathing boy in front of me?

I love drawing, and I won't stop. I thought I wanted to draw Akashi, but maybe all along, it was just a way for me to feel closer to him.

Now, though . . .

I close my eyes.

I don't need to memorize any more details. Because he won't disappear. Tomorrow, if I want, if I call him, and if I ask him, he'll come to my side, won't he? And then, I can see that smile again.

So I can close my eyes. I can enjoy the feel of his hand around mine, cool and smooth. And when he leans down and kisses me — I don't have to worry about capturing this one moment, because there's a promise of more.

"Akashi-kun," I say, a moment after his lips leave mine.

My eyes are still closed, and I can't see his reaction, but his hand is gently tugging at mine. He is so close that I can feel his heartbeat as well, the heat of his skin, the force of his life.

"Yes?"

"I don't really care what others think . . . but I think you're perfect. At least, for me. You are."

I can almost feel his smile light up the world. "Thank you," he says. Then, "Didn't I tell you to call me Seijūrō?"

The tone of his words makes me open my eyes. The gentle smile of his curves his lips up, and there's a small tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Seijūrō," I whisper. "And I said you can call me Mitsuri," I add. "It almost seems unfair if you're calling Reiha by her first name and not me, your girlfriend."

He almost appears delighted. "Mitsuri, then," he says. "Mitsuri."

I shiver at the way he says my name. "I have something for you," I blurt out.

He blinks. "For me?"

It's almost like he's never received a present before. "Yes," I say. "Since it's Christmas."

And because I know that when I got in line for a slice of Christmas cake, he went and bought that necklace I'd been staring it (but had been too scared of the price tag).

I pull out a small package from my coat pocket and hand it to him. "I hope you like it."

He carefully unwraps the box, not ripping any of the paper, and pulls out a small, clear replica of a basketball. It's just a paperweight, but I liked the representation of the thing that had brought us together.

"It's glass," I admit, a little embarrassed. Although we're not poor by any means, even I can't afford true diamond. And I wanted this to be all from me.

And something about the piece, even if it was of lesser quality, called to me. It was still beautiful. It still glittered like crystal. It was breakable, but that didn't mean it couldn't be repaired.

Maybe . . . it was a little like all of us. Trying, trying to be genuine, but just feeling fake inside. Trying, trying to be as good as we can, with a smooth, shiny appearance, but still wondering if others would accept us.

Trying, trying to prove we're shatterproof . . . but learning that it's okay when we're not.

"Thank you," Akashi whispers. "I love it." Then, "I got something for you, too."

I nod and try to muster up a surprised look.

He laughs. "I knew I couldn't hide it from you, so it's not wrapped."

He hands me the box with a clear cover, the necklace I'd been admiring looped inside. It's a diamond-shaped ruby, similar to the color of Akashi's hair and eyes.

"Will you put it on for me?" I ask, lifting the lid of the box.

He takes the necklace from me, and when I raise my hair, his fingers brush up against my skin as he closes the clasp. I glance down to where it lies against my heart, an incandescent, deep color, but only a spark of the feelings I hold within.

Our presents exchanged, our eyes return to each other. Akashi takes my hands within his. "Mitsuri," he says again.

"Yes?"

"Stay with me."

I blink. "Is that an order or a question? Because either is unnecessary, Seijūrō. You must know that I'm already yours."

His eyes flutter close, and then he wraps me in a close, close hug. "If that is the case, then," he says, his breath hot against my ear, "then I am never letting you go."

I let my own eyes close and say nothing more. I simply let him hold me, because I know he wants this, and because I want this, and sometimes being selfish isn't all that bad.

You could flip a coin to try and help you make a decision — should I act now or later? Should I do this or should I not? — but if the answer is already something you know you want, then what's the point of even asking? Someday there may come a time when it all falls apart again, but if I can at least enjoy this moment and know that tomorrow will bring a few more, then I will let him hold me close without worrying about the consequences.

Author's Note: ;_; So this is it. I'm not sure how many readers I still have, but if you're here, thank you. This marks the end of my KnB canon character/OC stories. I've written for Kuroko, Mayuzumi, Midorima, Aomine, Kagami, Kise, Kasamatsu, Ogiwara, and Akashi now (sorry, Murasakibara). It's been so fun doing all of these. I've never written for one fandom so much!

Oh, and for the part where Mitsuri's overhearing the people talking on the court, they are, in order: Izuki (I cannot claim the pun), Hayama, Nebuya, Mitobe, Koganei, Mibuchi, Hyuuga, and then Kuroko, Ogiwara, and Akashi.

Once again, thank you so much for reading! If you have any comments or critiques, I'd love to hear them. While this may be the end of my KnB stories, I'm sure there will be other fandoms I'll write for in the future. Until then!

~ J. Dominique