Hello, lovelies s2 Sorry I'm a bit late but it's Fire Friday :)
I made a slight mistake last chapter and completely forgot to add a piece of info that will influence things in the next chapters. If you want to read the chapter again and not read spoilers, stop reading now and go back. If you don't want to go through the trouble of reading the whole chapter again just for a few paragraphs, I'll give a quick explanation of what I changed.
Basically, Shizune and Genma are together. Now, I forgot to mention it last chapter because Sakura doesn't know it yet, but /Kakashi does/. So it was just a few quick paragraphs explaining that Kurenai wasn't mad about the whole Genma flirting with Sakura thing but she was sticking up to her friend Shizune when she saw her boyfriend shamelessly flirting with someone else. Does that make sense? Kurenai doesn't hate Sakura lol some of you were really mad at her poor girl, she's just a good friend.
Okay, now that you're caught up on what happened last chapter, carry on ;)
A huge thanks to A and Fox for helping me out with this chapter (and the next heheh). You guys rock.
(FFN is awful and it's stealing my italics away so if you guys would like to read this over on AO3 I think it would be better)
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Genma accosted her on her way out of the Hokage tower a couple of days after the bar. Sakura had just left the place to have lunch and fully intended to come back and help her shishou but he forced her to go out with him to a nice café in the civilian district instead. Sakura complained and made him swear to pay but she was glad he had sought her out like this.
Kakashi had sent Pakkun to her with a pair of wool socks earlier that morning. They were grey, imitating a dog's paw complete with the toe beans on the bottom and fleece lined. The cheeky note written in Kakashi's chicken scrawl said, "For your icicle toes," and it was signed with a henohenomoheji.
It was an incredibly sweet gesture and despite his teasing she knew it was an apology of sorts and that it proved he was done avoiding her. But still, Sakura couldn't help but feel slightly alone. She had spent every waking moment with either Asuma or Kakashi for the past month, basically, and while she appreciated the extra privacy, her routine when back in the village was something she had to get used to again.
So Sakura welcomed Genma's intervention with open arms and when he tried to rope her into training after lunch, she had to fight a smile.
"Asuma needs to get back into fighting shape, Pinky," Genma had said while they ate. "What better way to do it but with a medic on our side?"
Admittedly, it was a surprisingly thoughtful plan of getting Asuma some exercise without actually killing the man. Sakura knew many jounin wouldn't think twice about it, so she did the appropriate amount of teasing and playful contradiction before agreeing to it. They left the restaurant soon after, Genma muttering about cheapskate pink princesses, and then made their way to Genma's where Asuma had agreed to meet him.
Sakura was sitting on Genma's couch with Asuma, both smoking in quiet defiance at being made to wait for the older man as he tidied up his room. Sakura wasn't sure why she had been delegated to the couch like she hadn't been inside his room countless times and even slept next to him on occasion but she lacked the energy to complain. She hoped his walls stunk for at least a few days from their smokes.
Sakura had been wearing her normal clothes around the village to train, the hakama-style pants, halter neck bodysuit and her red haori, but having her hair loose down her back was definitely an adjustment. She was glad she would be getting a chance to train with it like this, especially since she didn't know Asuma's fighting style that well and it was always a nice change.
"You guys are fucking monsters," Genma glared at them when he came out and Asuma only shrugged while Sakura snorted. "C'mon, let's go before you turn my apartment into an ashtray."
Genma was already opening his door while Asuma and Sakura lazily got up and pinched their cigarettes out before throwing them in the trash.
"What's up, Jiji, you weren't in a hurry before," Sakura teased as they made their way out and Genma turned to lock his door.
Before Genma could reply, however, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Sakura felt a familiar chakra signature. She turned to the end of the hall to see the top of Kakashi's head coming up the stairs. It was comforting, seeing the locks turned silver again even if they were still significantly shorter.
"Yo, Hatake," Genma greeted him and Asuma waved. Sakura offered him a small smile when he met her eyes.
"Yo." Kakashi's usual crinkly eyed smile was in place and Sakura tried to fill in his features with the ones she knew were hiding beneath his mask. She wished he would take it off again so she could have a refresher. He was dressed in the official jounin uniform, carrying a brown bag probably containing groceries in front of him. Sakura couldn't help but notice the slightest of shadows beneath his only exposed eye.
"We're going training," Asuma said. "You should come with us."
It seemed for a moment like Kakashi would refuse but Genma grabbed him around his shoulder and pulled him forward.
"By now you should know that wasn't a question, old friend," Genma laughed and Asuma moved to grab the paper bag Kakashi was holding.
It looked like this was a routine they had perfected well and Sakura stepped aside to let them through to the end of the hall where she figured was Kakashi's apartment door. Asuma peered into the paper bag.
"That's a lot of meat, you don't usually eat so much red meat," he observed while Kakashi begrudgingly unlocked his door and deactivated the traps placed there.
"They're not for him," Pakkun's deep voice called when they came inside. "He's making good on his promise to pay me back. Yo, Hime-chan."
"Hi, Pakkun, I didn't know you stuck around after being summoned," Sakura smiled at the pug and crouched next to him so she could scratch behind his neck. "Is this for earlier today?" she asked as the other men went about putting Kakashi's groceries away.
"I don't usually stay but the kid owed me so I'm here to collect," Pakkun said, huffing slightly as he appreciated Sakura's petting.
She looked quickly towards the kitchen to see the men were still there before she reached inside her pouch for some treats. She had started walking around with them ever since Kakashi started using Pakkun to leave her little gifts a few years ago and even though he disapproved of her spoiling the pug, she always kept some for him.
Pakkun was munching happily on his second treat of the day—of course she had already given him some that morning—when a throat cleared behind her. Sakura got up with the most innocent look she could muster and smiled at the three jounin in front of her.
"Ready to go?" she asked cheerfully, already stepping outside the apartment before any of them could comment. They followed behind her and Kakashi chuckled.
"You spoil him too much," he warned, "pretty soon he'll be fat from all the treats you give him. You know he already bargained way too much meat for doing that favour for me."
Sakura shrugged, ignoring how Genma and Asuma seemed to be lost in the conversation.
"I'm simply tipping him for the job, Kakashi," she said, a tiny smirk on her face. "Despite your teasing, I did appreciate my gift."
Kakashi hummed and kept his nonchalant posture as he moved to guide their group outside, but Sakura could see that there was a slight blush peeking from the top of his mask when he passed her. He was probably embarrassed that she had mentioned the thoughtful gesture, especially in front of their friends. Well, tough. Sakura snickered.
Their ragtag group took to the rooftops as soon as they could and made their way quickly to the training grounds behind the Senju Estate. From the way Asuma looked around curiously, it was clear he had never been there and it wasn't any surprise considering he hadn't been a part of ANBU.
They let their packs fall to the ground in front of a particularly thick tree and moved to stretch together at the centre of the clearing.
"So," Genma said, "battle royale?"
Sakura lightly punched him in the shoulder.
"This isn't ANBU, Jiji," she reminded him with a pointed look, "and Asuma is still recovering. We do a tournament style training, winner takes the next person."
"The two not fighting can help each other on muscle building exercises," Kakashi offered and Sakura agreed.
She turned narrowed eyes towards Asuma and pointed a finger at him.
"No extensive chakra use, no overexerting yourself, and if at any point something starts hurting, you stop immediately," she ordered him and was relieved when he raised his hands in surrender.
"Jokenpo to see who starts?" Genma offered.
Sakura fought at least twice with each of them before choosing to stop and relax for a bit. It wasn't that she was still feeling weak from her almost death by chakra exhaustion but this was technically her second training of the day. Her routine of getting up as early as possible and completing her workout before breakfast was still one she adhered to even though she had moved on from Lee's speed training. While she was good, she also had no intention of overexerting and hurting herself during training.
Genma and Asuma were sparring lightly in the centre of the clearing as Sakura leaned against the tree their things were deposited next to and Kakashi did chin-ups on the lowest branch of the tree. Sakura drank slowly from her bottle of water and counted Kakashi's reps in her head.
He had taken off his flak jacket and sweater like the other two and was wearing only his undershirt. Despite the milder Autumn air in Konoha, the sun was still beating down on them even as it had long since gone past its apex and it was hot with all the exercises they'd been doing.
Kakashi jumped down, stretched and then let his body fall forward beneath the shade of the tree to begin his pushup routine. A sudden memory of sitting on his back during her genin days made Sakura smile slightly. She didn't have many reasons to smile about those days that she had been so utterly unprepared for life but on that lazy afternoon, Sakura found it in herself to reminisce.
She got up and slowly made her way to him.
"Need some extra weights?" she offered and Kakashi paused before his next pushup to look at her. His eye crinkled in a smile and he pointed with his chin for her to get on.
Sakura stepped out of her black sandals and sat herself down in the middle of his back, bringing her legs to cross beneath her as he did some experimental pushups to try his balance. Sakura stretched her arms up high as Kakashi found his rhythm before she slowly made her way into completely lying down on top of him.
Kakashi's back was sweaty beneath her but there was still sweat drying on her bare back and she didn't mind. He was warm and solid and the cool breeze on her sweaty skin was a nice juxtaposition to it. The only annoying thing was the particular sunbeam boring down directly into her eyes. Sakura wished she had something to cover her head with.
She turned her head slightly and smirked as a plan formed.
"Yo, Kakashi," she fake whispered. "Psst."
"Yes, Sakura?" Kakashi replied, amused and not even slightly breathless, the bastard. Sakura turned slightly to lay her arm fully against his back so her hand could slide closer to his back pouch.
"See, there's something I've been thinking about lately," she said, letting her hand rest there so he wouldn't think twice of it when she moved. Kakashi hummed for her to continue. "Your birthday was during our second week in the mission, right?"
"Who knows," Kakashi replied. Sakura scoffed and rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see it and moved her hand minutely closer to his back pouch.
"I know, idiot." Sakura closed her fingers around the clasp. "I know old people don't like to celebrate their birthday but thirty-two is still relatively—"
Sakura didn't finish her sentence because, in the next second, Kakashi had balanced his weight in one hand and brought the other back to close over her wrist. She had barely managed to get Icha Icha out, the bastard was good. Kakashi chuckled under his breath and released her, not losing his rhythm as he switched to one handed push-ups and then back.
"You could have just asked, you know," Kakashi drawled and Sakura chuckled.
"Would you have said yes?" she challenged, knowing that he wouldn't have. But of course, the bastard had to contradict her.
"Of course, Sakura-chan. Don't you remember we agreed on fifty-fifty for our divorce?" Kakashi teased and Sakura could only gasp. Was he really kidding about that? Sakura laughed.
"You're fucking ridiculous," she huffed another laugh before opening the book. She held it with her arms slightly stretched so it could protect her eyes from the sun. "This isn't Icha Icha."
The book had the same cover of Icha Icha Tactics but inside the first page said: Ancient Codes of the Earth Country. Sakura stared at it in confusion for a beat before Kakashi replied.
"Nope," he said simply, not caring that Sakura was on the verge of an identity crisis. Had he been reading these kinds of books all along while the rest of the village thought him to be a pervert? What even was reality anymore. Kakashi huffed a laugh. "I can smell the smoke coming from your head, Sakura. Before you give yourself an aneurysm, let me tell you that I do read Icha Icha. Frequently."
"You just also happen to read books on important subjects," Sakura muttered, turning her head slightly to look at the back of his head. "Where did you even get this?"
"I stole it from the Earth daimyo's library when I was sent to assassinate one of the lords in his court," Kakashi said it like he was talking about going for a milk run and Sakura could only gape at him for a second before going back to the book.
"Huh," was her eloquent reply.
Sakura immersed herself in the pages of the book, holding it up over her head so the sun wouldn't bother her eyes. She stayed there while Kakashi finished his reps, the sound of Asuma and Genma sparring serving as white noise in the background.
After a while, Kakashi gently eased her off him so he could continue his training and Sakura simply flopped on the soft grass, book still in hand. By the time they left the training grounds, Sakura had returned the book but had been a few chapters short of finishing it.
When she got home later that day, it was sitting on her bed.
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Sakura sighed.
She had been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours and it had been going terribly for her. It had been a few days since she last talked to Kakashi but he had sent Pakkun over with another book so she wasn't too upset about it. At least he wasn't completely avoiding her anymore.
She had surprisingly gotten closer to Asuma. The man had actually sought her out with Genma's help the other day and the three of them had gone for a spar on the training grounds behind the Senju Estate. Sakura had been itching to ask if they'd seen Kakashi around but refrained from doing so after thoroughly chastising herself for even wanting to ask about him.
Kakashi was the same he ever was, their bond had gotten stronger, perhaps, but he still felt elusive even when they were inside the same village. If that was how he wanted things to be, if he really wanted that much distance from her since the mission, Sakura couldn't do anything about it.
She wasn't the same girl she was when Sasuke had left her on a cold bench. She wasn't that girl and she would never go back to that ever again.
Sakura still couldn't sleep well at night.
The nightmares had mostly gone away but the fact remained that Sakura couldn't remember ever feeling this cold sleeping in Konoha's somewhat mild weather, underneath her covers. She knew that she was missing the literal furnace Kakashi had been but she crushed that thought and swiped its remains beneath the rug in the back of her mind. Inner brushed her hands together before putting them on her hips.
The fact was, Sakura had tried to fill that need to have someone next to her with Neji. The man she had actually been seeing before leaving for the mission. He had taken a couple of missions ever since she came back but the time they had found to work out their mutually beneficial arrangement, Sakura had backed out. After that first day after the bar where she had taken out her frustrations in the bedroom with him, Sakura had felt terrible.
She knew Neji didn't harbour any feelings for her, at least romantic ones, but it still felt wrong to be taking out her frustration about another man on him. She had tried again the night before to lose herself completely in him like she had done in the past but she had only managed mild relief. He had hugged her to him as he fell asleep and Sakura tried to relax enough but somehow his hold felt constricting and she needed to breathe.
Sakura had been avoiding his advances ever since, mostly out of guilt.
With another heavy sigh, Sakura pulled her haori over her pyjamas and got out of bed. It was close to midnight and she knew there wouldn't be many people outside. Her feet were fucking cold and she was fucking tired, goddamn it. The mere thought of wearing the socks Kakashi had gotten her filled her with annoyance. She wanted him out of her head and the socks were firmly hidden in her desk drawer along with the last book he had sent over.
Sakura placed a cigarette between her lips before leaving the house. Shishou was still at the office in a meeting with the council and Sakura knew those tended to last long so she didn't even bother trying to look for her.
She made her way to the store with lazy feet, smoke billowing out of her mouth and into the night sky lazily as she once again contemplated how heavy she was hitting the nicotine. It was all to stall this feeling inside of her, make her forcibly relax and focus on something else but it wasn't exactly working.
Sakura stubbed the cigarette outside the store and threw it in the bin before making her way inside. She was going to buy two fuzzy socks and some ice cream to go with the 'bad days' sake Tsunade kept at the house because fuck she deserved it.
"Sacchan?"
Sakura immediately turned to watch Toshio open the door behind her. He was wearing something close to what he had on the last time he had found her at the store all those years ago, track pants and a white t-shirt, but his eyes were infinitely more alert than the last time.
"Hey." Sakura offered him a tired smile and came to loop his arm with hers to pull him towards the things she would be getting. "Did you just finish up for the night?"
"Yeah." Toshio shot her a curious look which Sakura ignored as she chose the most garish pair of fluffy socks she could find. "Couldn't sleep?" he guessed and Sakura only nodded with a small hum, pretending to be completely entranced in her new bright green socks with red polka dots.
Toshio wisely chose not to press her on the matter, only stepped closer to her as they slowly walked the isles, choosing items seemingly at random. Toshio chose some pens, a carton of milk and one single eggplant and Sakura grabbed her socks, ice cream and caved into buying another pack of smokes.
They talked about the new ideas Toshio had for ANBU after checking that it was Unmei-san who was manning the counter. Apparently, he wanted to install a permanent and mandatory field medical ninjutsu tier to the six months long training every ANBU operative did after they passed the entrance exams. That is, if they weren't like Sakura and so many others that got carted into the shadows headfirst and way too young because of their skillset.
Sakura agreed to help him out because of course she would and it seemed like a weight had been lifted off Toshio's shoulders. Her close analysis of him had been one of the reasons she had gotten so good at reading Kakashi and vice versa, their mannerisms so similar it hurt sometimes. Sakura liked to think of herself as an expert in all things aloof and fakely joyous. Of course, this last mission had given her a bigger insight into Kakashi so she figured she was more… adept at reading him than Toshio but the thought still stood.
"So, are you throwing a party today?" Toshio teased her as they paid for their items. Sakura merely glared at him and threw an elbow towards his ribs that he neatly dodged despite how tired he seemed.
"Tsk, Sakura-chan, these will kill you," Unmei-san chastised her as she rang up her pack of smokes and Sakura threw a charming smile her way.
"Baa-san, if this is the thing that kills me I should count myself lucky." Sakura figured there was nothing quite shinobi's dark sense of humour, especially ANBU.
"I'll have you know that I had one too many kids under my care falling prey to that nonsense." Toshio put a heavy hand on her head and shook her a bit. He looked like he was going to keep talking but, before he could, the three of them stopped short.
A chakra signature crackled dangerously in the training grounds near the store, the ones reserved for ANBU that constituted the Senju backyard. Usually, spiked chakra in the training grounds was nothing new but it was well past midnight and the amount of killing intent in it was disconcerting.
It took probably longer than Sakura would admit for her to recognise why the chakra signature seemed so familiar. It was Kakashi's.
Sakura was shunshining away before her brain could catch up to her body, leaving everything behind. She appeared suddenly in the middle of training ground sixty-seven and stopped abruptly in her tracks. She vaguely noticed Toshio had followed her but she couldn't take her eyes off the figure in the middle of the clearing.
Kakashi was bloodied and soaked through with sweat, kneeling on the forest floor while his clone held the neck of his jacket with one hand and pummeled him with the other, each strike of its fist echoing around the clearing. The fact that Sakura could actually tell which one was a clone and which one wasn't showed his state of mind. It was solidified by the countless craters around the training field.
He had used the chidori at least six times.
Sakura was afraid to move, scared to interfere, but looking at him she had a vague idea of what this was about. Her next breath stuttered in her chest on its way out as Sakura's heart tightened painfully.
Suddenly, Kakashi was getting up quicker than she could catch without her chakra enhanced eyesight and bringing a kunai to slash at his clone's throat. The puff of smoke disrupted the sudden quiet around the clearing and Kakashi stumbled with the memories from the clone.
At the same time he turned towards her, Sakura felt the chakra signatures approaching. The ANBU team that patrolled this part of the barrier and two others, probably Danzou's men.
"How long have you known?" Kakashi's voice didn't sound human. It was so deep and gravelly, like stone on stone, and it made Sakura's instinct to flee or fight perk up. She forcefully pushed it down and stared at him with a frown, willing him to realise this was not the time to discuss anything, especially because they were out in the open with so many witnesses.
Kakashi didn't seem to be in any mind to realise any of these practicalities, though. There were a few cuts on him, all of them bleeding through and even his mask had a small tear in it. His eyes, both of them narrowed in anger so deep and raw, suddenly pinned her in place.
"Now, Kashi-chan, let's calm—" Usui stepped slightly forward but Kakashi turned the full force of his glare towards him and the man froze in place.
"Stay out of this, Usui," Kakashi snarled, coming impossibly closer even as Toshio tried to step between them. "How long have you fucking known, Sakura?"
Despite the dangerous edge to his voice and the way he was looming over her, Sakura knew all of this anger wasn't directed at her and the fact she hadn't told him… well, anything really about what has been going on in the shadows and about Konoha's bloody, shameful past. She knew Kakashi enough to realise the anger in his gaze was actually self-loathing and it made her pause to wonder where it was coming from.
Sakura's eyes widened as she remembered whose team Itachi had been on during his short days as ANBU. Kakashi hated himself for what had happened because Itachi had been his subordinate and in Kakashi's eyes that meant he had been a part of his pack or at least someone he had been responsible for. Kakashi was blaming himself for it.
Sakura sighed, stepped forward and grabbed Kakashi's arm and held tight even as he tried to pull away from her. He was strong, even as she used chakra, and Sakura grabbed the front of his flak jacket so she wouldn't have to use too much strength to restrain him. Kakashi snarled like a cornered dog and tried to push her away but Sakura held firm.
She turned her head slightly so she could catch Toshio's eyes over her shoulder.
"Don't follow us," she said before calling on the teletransportation seal she had placed inside her bedroom.
The moment their feet touched the wooden floor, Kakashi ripped himself away from her and this time Sakura let him. She gave him his space as he clumsily knocked on her bed and fell onto it, his elbows immediately resting on his knees as he let his head hang down.
Kakashi ran his gloved, dirty hands over his still shorter than usual hair. It had gone back to its natural silver colour but the sides and the back were still cropped short and the fringe fell over his eye without his hitai-ate to hold it away. Kakashi gripped at its roots before letting his arms fall and tilting his head slightly up so he could look at her.
His eyes didn't exactly reach hers but it was still something.
"I'm sorry, I—" Kakashi cut himself off, his head shaking slightly as if he couldn't even find the words.
"It's okay," Sakura said simply. Then, feeling it would be better if she explained some, she continued, "I was the one who found out."
"How?" Kakashi rasped, his voice hoarse from emotion. Sakura sighed.
"I was…" Sakura tried to steel herself. "I was looking for some answers about—about your past. I infiltrated the Hokage's private files and found Hiruzen's secret journal."
Kakashi's eyes finally snapped to hers and the Sharingan spun dizzyingly. Sakura tensed up at seeing it, but there was no chakra output from it and she forced herself to relax. Sakura tried to put herself in his shoes.
While Tsunade had thundered and felt personally betrayed by the Sandaime's inaction, she had a deeper relationship with the man than Kakashi had. That meant that she had already seen him for who he was, a flawed human who had already let her down. Kakashi had looked at the Sandaime the same way they had all been taught to. A god amongst men, someone invincible and untouchable, completely devoid of any flaws since he was supposed to be the strongest ninja in the village.
This was worse than having your sensei fuck up in a way because it wasn't exactly personal. This was the equivalent of having the main character of a childhood story turn out to be evil in the end.
For Kakashi this wasn't about the Sandaime as in the man Sarutobi Hiruzen, but what the Hokage had represented. His leader, the one Kakashi was supposed to die for, the one who had led his friends and who was in charge of every single person in the village Kakashi loved so much.
Sakura felt a fresh wave of anger directed towards those old bastards wash over her but she didn't linger on the feeling. Kakashi seemed to be losing all of his energy by the second and his shoulders drooped as if he carried double the weight he had gotten used to carrying on them.
"It's my fault," Kakashi muttered, the sound so low, Sakura barely caught it.
She wanted to punch him and shake him until she could knock some sense into his thick skull but chose to take a deep breath instead. No matter how satisfactory blowing up at him would be, it wouldn't be effective right then. Sakura had to take another approach.
She placed a hand on his shoulder and gripped his jacket until she could urge him to get up. With a gentle but nonetheless firm hold, she guided him to her bathroom. Kakashi felt pliant in her hands in a way she hadn't been expecting but appreciated infinitely. She would take care of him.
"Please shower so I can heal you," she said, her voice low as she used one hand to turn the shower on.
Kakashi turned to look at her then as the room started to fill with steam and his eyes bored into hers with an intensity that almost took her breath away. He looked so tired, Sakura wanted to take all of this weight off his shoulders by force if she had to.
Hesitantly, Sakura reached for a particularly nasty gash on his arm to gather some of his blood on her finger. She completed the seals for the kuchiyose no jutsu and placed her palm on the countertop to call forth Pakkun.
The little pug glanced between them worriedly but, seeming to sense the mood in the room, didn't say anything. Sakura gave him a slight smile and turned to leave the bathroom.
"I'll be outside." She closed the door behind her and sat heavily on her bed.
A slight headache was coming and she could only imagine how Kakashi was feeling. Sakura got up from her bed, gave herself a few harsh pats on the cheeks and formed the sign to create a clone. She directed it to find some jounin uniforms at the Hokage Tower and made her way to the kitchen to grab him some water.
Her clone left the change of clothes for him next to Pakkun before popping out of existence and Sakura waited for Kakashi to come out. Once he did, she immediately pushed him to sit back down on her bed. She had already discarded her haori and was standing before him in her pyjamas, a pair of shorts and long sleeved shirt that were black and had a few silly pink cats on the hems that Yugao had gag gifted her.
She wasn't feeling self-conscious, especially since she had actually left the house in said pyjamas, but it was a bit of work to push down the realisation that she had Kakashi sitting on her bed while she stood over him with her silly pink cat pyjamas. Sakura raised an eyebrow at him instead.
"Shirt off."
"Sakura…" Kakashi started but Sakura cut him off with a stern look as Pakkun hopped on the bed next to his owner.
"Do you have any cuts on your legs?" Sakura started to kneel on the floor in front of him but changed her course to the bed halfway through when she noticed the sudden tensing of his jaw. Kakashi shook his head no, one hand scratching Pakkun almost uncomfortably hard and the other gripping his pants at the knee.
After a while of him making no motion to take his shirt off, Sakura thanked him silently for only having put on the masked, sleeveless undershirt and got to work starting with the hand closest to her, the one not 'petting' Pakkun.
She ran her chakra coated hands efficiently over his hand and arm but still took her time, quietly observing the scars that littered his body as she went and feeling impossibly sad that she hadn't been there to heal them. She had reached his forearm when Kakashi began speaking. His speech was stilted and not entirely cohesive at times but slowly as she worked on both his arms, his chest and face, Kakashi told her things.
He told her about how the Uchiha used to be, how they had kept order but were at the same time so ostracized from the rest of the village. How they had shunned Obito and later on him for having his eye. Kakashi didn't tell her about him but he didn't need to. The fact that he had even said his name at all spoke volumes.
Kakashi told her about Uchiha Itachi and how scared he had been when the kid had been placed on the team. How Itachi had looked impossibly small but still the most stoic shinobi he had ever encountered and he wondered if that was how he'd looked like when his own sensei had placed him in ANBU.
Then he told her how exactly he'd been carted into ANBU, how he had risen through the ranks as fast as she had. How Usui had guided him and held him up once his sensei had died. Kakashi told her how he had done something similar to what she had and infiltrated the Hokage's private archives and later on he had met Tenzou—who had been called Inoue back then—and pulled him away from Danzou's clutches.
By the time Sakura had reached Kakashi's back, he had gone silent. Sakura circled her chakra in a slower, warmer pattern and let it sink into his back, healing his wounds and relaxing his muscles as she went.
Kakashi leaned back towards her and sighed. To anyone else it would have looked like he merely shifted and released a slightly stronger breath but Sakura knew better.
"Do I even want to know where you got these clothes?" Kakashi asked, his voice lazy and low in the dimly lit room. Sakura huffed a small laugh.
"I sent a clone to the Hokage Tower to steal one." Kakashi turned his head slightly to try and catch a glimpse of her behind him but Sakura put particular effort into her work and it made him stop in his tracks. She continued in a blunt tone, "I owed you a shirt anyway."
Finally done, Sakura pulled on Kakashi's arm until he conceded and followed her to rest against her headboard. She grabbed the cup of water she had placed on her nightstand and forced it into his hands.
"Drink it all," she ordered and glared at him until he did so. She took the glass from him to put it back on her nightstand as he ran a hand over his tired face.
"I should go," he said, looking at Pakkun like he would somehow have an answer to all the problems in the world.
"You're exhausted, Boss," the pug said, his voice rough but gentle.
"You're not leaving tonight, Kakashi." Sakura glared fiercely at him when he started to protest and cut him off. "If you're not comfortable sharing the bed with me despite doing it for almost all of last month, then I'll sit on that nice chair over there and will watch you sleep at least six hours."
Kakashi glared back at her, never one to back down and Sakura was satisfied to see there wasn't any annoyance in his glare, only exasperation and slight consternation at being ordered around like that.
"Either way you're not leaving this bed until the sun is up."
Kakashi glared for a few seconds longer but Sakura knew she had already won that round. Kakashi was tired and sleep deprived and after the bomb shishou had dropped in his lap, Sakura knew nowhere would feel quite as safe as her chakra sealed room. He grumbled all the way until he situated himself against her pillows.
Pakkun got up from the foot of the bed to lay on Kakashi's chest like they had done that routine countless times before and Sakura watched, fondness warming her chest. She waited for him to tell her to sit on the chair or to lie down on the other side of the bed but he did neither, simply closed his eyes.
After a few beats, he blindly reached for her and pulled her down towards him, fitting her against the crook of his shoulder like they had done while posing as Kato and Akari. Sakura's breath stuttered in her chest before she forced herself to relax into his hold, feeling immediately warm even though she wasn't beneath the covers. Pakkun gave a sleepy snort and Sakura's hand reached for him without thought to scratch slightly behind his ear.
Sakura didn't have the strength to pull her hand back and fell asleep with it resting on Pakkun's back, inches away from Kakashi's.
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I... really like this chapter xD
I loved the way this weird little group just formed kind of out of nowhere but they all fit somehow. This wasn't planned lol but I like where it's going, I have some other things already written for the four of them so let me know what your thoughts are. Originally this chapter was supposed to be a part of an almost 14k chapter but I thought it was better if I split it since next chapter will have a different feel to it. I'm sorry if the wordcount is a bit disappointing but next one will be out just next week! :)
I battled a lot with how I wanted Kakashi to deal with the news but in the end I settled on this bc I think that the Uchiha are a really sore spot for him. Not only because of Obito but also Itachi and Sasuke and his own childhood dealings with the clan. In the end, Kakashi is someone who takes all the blame on his shoulders and I don't think he would have dealt well with this at all. It's different to have a reaction to something while you're in the middle of a battle like what happened when he found out about Obito in canon, this time he was in the safety of his village and he could break down as he saw fit.
This scene between them was also a bit of a comparison to that day where Kakashi had a panic attack when Sakura was healing him in the shower. On both sides they did a lot of growing and their bond became much stronger. Sakura allowed him his privacy despite not bending to his every whim or backing down in the face of his anger, she knew when to push his boundaries and also when to reign in what she really wanted to do - which was to literally take care of him like a baby, no such thing as modesty and just shake him around until he got his shit together instead lol. Kakashi let her in, let her see him at his worst and most important of all he /talked/. I think that's probably one of the hardest things for Kakashi to do so anytime you see this in the fic I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do lol. Putting his feelings into words or just telling someone about his past is extremely hard for him and he felt safe enough to do it with Sakura. Oof I'm talking too much, sorry.
Thank you so so SO MUCH. You guys, your reviews help me so much. While I have a good idea of where I want to take this fic and have a lot of it written already, it's always good to see where your heads are at and kind of get a feel of how I should proceed, which part should I pay more attention to. For example, you guys' comments on Kurenai on the last chapter made me remember that y'all can't read my mind lol so I went back to it and made things clearer. While I have to admit I don't particularly like receiving 'bad comments' (like people who list down everything they don't like in my fic lol) I really appreciate it when you guys give me your thoughts and tell me what you'd like to see in the future, even if that's not direction I'm gonna take it. Am I even making any sense? Lol I don't know, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I love you all and every single review gets a happy lil squeal and I take everything you say to heart. The past few months have been really hard in regards to my anxiety and I sometimes can't reply bc of that but I'm trying to be better, I promise ;-;
See you next week!