The Devil in Me
There's a Darkness Upon Me That's Flooded in Light
The chapter title comes from the song:
Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise by the Avett Brothers.
The hills of southern Ireland rolled out in the distance, they were topped with snow, and the air was icily cold. Two dragon riders had just finished setting up camp for the night. They had done so silently, both of them instinctively being able to tell how defeated the other felt.
The two dragons were huddled close together around a large fire.
Charlie drew his thick cloak closer and breathed out shakily, his breath visible in the cold air.
"It's been weeks, Felix."
Felix sat down heavily opposite Charlie.
"Yeah, and you still haven't talked about the fact that your mother and brother are dead," Felix said, handing Charlie a glass jar that had blue flames dancing inside of it.
"I don't need to talk about that," Charlie said stiffly, "After what he did? He's no brother of mine."
"Yes, but she was still your mother," Felix pointed out, "However manipulative she became."
With a heavy sigh and an irritated glance, Charlie said, "What part of 'I don't want to talk about it' did you not get? I meant that it has been weeks since we lost the banshee's trail in Cheshire."
"She apparated away," Felix said with a shrug, "There's no way to trace apparition, Char."
"Yeah, and how do you think that excuse is going to go down with the Dark Lord?" Charlie asked sarcastically.
"Badly," Felix replied, "Which is why we're not going back to him until we have some good news."
"And how are we going to pull a banshee out of our arses?" Charlie asked in disbelief, "We've scoured the Scottish highlands, we've flown over every bloody isle, and if we have to do a fourth aerial reconnaissance over Ireland, I'm going to lose it."
Felix groaned irritably and threw himself back onto his camp bed.
Charlie looked defeated, "The Irish dragons are fierce about their air space. Sarris got cuffed the last time, and I don't want to do it again."
"No, I don't either," Felix admitted, "But what's the alternative? Going back to the Dark Lord and telling him we failed?"
"Yeah," Charlie said bluntly, "It is."
"And you know what he'll do when he finds out that we failed, don't you?"
"He'll torture us, yeah," Charlie said, "But what else can we do? Keep flying around avoiding the issue until he cottons on and pulls us in? If we go to him at least we'll stand a chance."
Felix sighed and zipped the tent shut, "Fine - we'll head off in the morning?"
With a nod, Charlie replied, "At first light."
But while Felix fell asleep relatively quickly, Charlie stayed awake. He kept himself occupied by cataloguing dragons in his head until he was sure that Felix was in a deep sleep.
Eventually, in the middle of the night, Charlie quietly climbed from his camp bed, grabbed his things and slipped out of the tent.
He roused Sarris from her slumber, then heard a faint puff and turned around to see Lennox's suspicious eyes on him.
With a sigh, Charlie rubbed her snout, "I know it looks like I'm running out on him, but I'm doing this to protect him. If I go now, I'll bear the full force of the Dark Lords anger."
Lennox cocked her head at Charlie and surveyed him for a moment. She bowed her head then lifted it, nudging Charlie towards Sarris.
"If I don't come back, you look after him for me, okay?" Charlie asked the dragon.
Lennox bowed her head and puffed out a plume of smoke.
Charlie gave her snout a final rub with a smile, then he grabbed Sarris's harness, readied her for flight, and took off before Felix could wake up. He knew he would get a good start on the other man, so even if he did wake up a little before first light, he wouldn't be able to get to the Dark Lord before Charlie could.
As he flew, Charlie tried to push those thoughts out of his head and focus on the cold but quiet and peaceful nature of the morning as he flew towards Malfoy Manor.
Harry was lying on a sofa in the common room, unable to sleep as had been the case since Theo's death. He had been dozing on and off as the night wore on, but sometime early in the morning, a rush of fury bolted him awake.
He grimaced and slapped his hand to his scar as it burned white-hot. His first thought was, what have I done? He was under the impression that he had been pleasing the Dark Lord, so what could cause rage so strong?
His question was answered when a vision exploded into his head in a flash of blindingly white light.
Charlie Weasley was on his knees in the drawing-room of Malfoy Manor. He was screaming in agony, his limbs twitching in different directions. It made Harry feel mildly nauseous.
"I told you to hunt the banshee down and kill her!"
Charlie tried to speak but couldn't through the haze of pain.
"I recruited you and your friend to be dragon riders, and are dragon riders not renown trackers?"
He ended the curse, and Charlie fell to his knees on the floor, gasping for breath, "Yes, my lord."
"Then why can you not find her?" Tom roared, from the grey tinge to his hand, Harry could tell that he was in his true form.
"There's no logic to the banshee's movements," Charlie gasped, "Because she's not Molly Weasley with a temper anymore. She's a banshee with occasional flashes of magic when she loses her temper or gets scared. She's erratic, and she acts like a lost child capable of only using accidental magic for self-defence. I can't track her because there is no pattern to track."
"Get out of my sight, you pathetic excuse for a wizard," Tom fumed, kicking Charlie back with magic, "If you cannot find her before the winter solstice, then it would appear that your usefulness has come to an end, as will your dragons."
Charlie drew back and scrambled to his feet.
"And I have a high ranking Death Eater in the Department of Mysteries who requires dragons blood for his latest experiment," Tom seethed, "Are we clear?"
"Yes, my lord," Charlie said, the colour was gone from his face. He was grey, and his shirt was soaked with sweat, "I'll find her."
"You had better," Tom spat. He pushed Charlie back, then slammed the door shut with magic and threw a blasting curse at the fireplace for good measure.
The vision came to an end, but Harry could still feel Tom's fury coursing through him. His heart was racing as if he was the one who had just been torturing Charlie. It didn't matter how alike he and Tom thought these days, seeing things through his eyes and feeding off of his emotions was still incredibly disturbing.
He jumped to his feet and hurried through his dorm room and the head common room to check on Lily. He murmured a simple Alohomora and stepped in, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Lily asleep in her bed.
Trying not to be too creepy, Harry crossed the room and gave Lily a gentle shake.
She opened her eyes, looked around blearily, then jumped, "What the fuck, Harry?!"
"Sorry," Harry said sheepishly, "I was just checking up on you."
"Why?" Lily asked, looking over at the clock, "It's 5 o'clock in the fucking morning!"
"Yeah, try telling your boyfriend that," Harry said dryly. He dropped onto the edge of her bed and looked around, "Nice room, by the way. You never invited me in when you and I were…you know?"
"That's because only people I'm in relationships with get to see my bedroom," Lily said, giving him a pointed look and rubbing her eyes, "And what are you talking about? Tom should be in bed, shouldn't he?"
"Probably, but I'm not convinced he actually sleeps. Does he, out of interest?" Harry asked.
"He seems to when he's with me," Lily replied, fighting back a yawn.
"Well, he's not asleep right now," Harry said, "He's just gotten through with torturing Charlie Weasley, then giving him until the winter solstice to track the banshee that was once Molly Weasley or else he'll kill him and gut his dragon."
Lily frowned, "Can you make that simpler on account of the fact it's 5'o clock in the fucking morning?"
Harry rolled his eyes and put on a silly voice.
"Charlie is tracking the banshee. Charlie no findy the banshee. Tom get very angry about this, Tom get trigger happy. Charlie needs to find the banshee before the winter solstice or its-"
Harry mimed getting hit with the killing curse, "For him and-"
He then mimed the slitting of his throat, "For the dragon."
Lily hit Harry around the back of the head with quite some force.
"Ow?"
"You're a dick," Lily said, kicking him off of her bed.
Harry caught himself, "I'm a dick? I gallantly ran in here to make sure you were here and not in Tom's room because when he gets back, he's going to be pissed, and I don't want you getting roughly…you know…punished, for that."
Lily raised an eyebrow at the awkwardness of his words, "Aw Harry, are you defending my honour?"
Harry thought about that for a second, "Yes, I am because although he's my master, you're my best friend, and if he hurts one hair on your annoying little head, I'll-"
Lily rolled her eyes and cut him off, "The threat was so cute; why did you have to ruin it by calling me annoying?"
Harry gave her a serious look, "Please just avoid Tom for 24 hours, give or take."
"How am I going to do that with Offensive Magic first thing today?" Lily quipped.
"Pull a sicky?"
Lily snorted, "Yes, because he wouldn't see that coming. He's far from an idiot, Harry."
"I know, but Lil…I can't remember the last time I've felt him that angry," Harry confessed, "So please, tread carefully."
Lily nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto the bed, "I will. Now, stick on your side," she swirled her wand and created an invisible barrier, "And try to get a few hours sleep because you look like shit."
Harry sighed and looked up at the ceiling – it was a perfect model of the galaxy, and somehow, it was incredibly relaxing.
"Mmkay," He found himself murmuring as sleep claimed him.
Tom was absent from the breakfast table the following day, which made Harry all the more nervous when it came to Offensive Magic. He and Lily got there early, stepping into the classroom together with the logic of safety in numbers.
"Good morning, Tom," Harry said cautiously.
Tom looked up, his eyes glinting irritably. His hand twitched over the drawer that he kept his wand in then he took a deep breath.
"Please stay at least two feet away from me," He said calmly as he looked at Lily, "I am trying very hard not to kill anyone today, and it would be remarkably helpful if your major arteries were out of reach."
Lily raised an eyebrow, "Bad night?"
Tom slammed his hand down on the desk, "Damnit, Lilith! That meant do not irritate me!"
Harry could have hit his head off a wall. Why the hell was Lily so bad at following orders?
Bloody Ravenclaws! Tom thought irritably; they ask too many questions.
And that one doesn't know when to stop, Harry thought with a shake of his head.
Lily watched the two of them curiously, "Are you two talking about me in your heads? Because if so, that's rude. You could at least have the curtsey to say it out loud."
Harry smirked and looked at Tom, "She's infuriating," he hissed in parseltongue, "But you're fond of her. I suppose that's why she's still alive."
"Sometimes I wonder why I keep her alive," Tom hissed back.
"When I said out loud, I didn't mean in parseltongue," Lily muttered irritably.
This time Tom smirked and said, "Boreí na eínai tóso sklirí douleiá. Anarotiémai óti axízei ton kópo?"
Harry grinned and replied, "To sex prépei na eínai kaló?"
Tom chuckled, and Lily rolled her eyes.
"Or Ancient Greek! I mean, who even speaks Ancient Greek?" Lily asked irritably.
Tom gave her an amused look.
"Apart from the Greeks, obviously, and you two idiots," Lily practically huffed.
At that point, the classroom door opened, and the trio fell silent as the rest of the class began to filter in. Harry shot Lily an amused look and sat down, waiting for Draco to join him.
Shell Cottage, Dorset
Felix was furious when he stormed into Shell Cottage.
"Where the fuck is he?"
"Could you not yell and swear?" Bill asked, his voice dripping with exasperation, "I've got a wife who's pregnant with twins."
"I'm sorry, but he's here, isn't he?" Felix asked, his eyes meeting Bill's.
"If you're referring to my idiotic little brother, who we just spent two hours patching up? Yeah, Felix, he's here."
Felix's jaw set, and he shook his head, "Do you know what he did?"
"He got tortured by the Dark Lord for his failure to find the banshee."
"Yeah, Bill, that banshee!" Felix exclaimed, pointing to a body bag outside.
Bill's eyes widened, "You found her?"
"I found her, and I shoved this into her neck," Felix said, pulling out a goblin made dagger.
"It put her down long enough that I could apparate us both into Gringotts where the goblins, naturally, didn't want to die. A very hospitable one named Gornuk swiftly took her head off for me."
"How did you do that without losing your hearing?" Bill asked, narrowing his eyes at Felix.
Felix smirked, "See this is the thing that everyone forgets. Charlie is the hot one, but I'm the smart one."
He reached into his ear and pulled out a mucusy substance.
Bill made a face, "Do I want to know?"
"Flobberworm mucus," Felix said, vanishing it away, "It has several uses, but being impenetrable to sonic waves is the one I was bothered about."
"You're fucking brilliant, Felix."
"What was that about not cursing because of your pregnant wife?" Fleur asked.
Bill grinned as Fleur floated into the kitchen in a loose-fitting pale pink dress that hung to her bump. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her on the head, "Felix just got my seal of approval."
"By killing your mother?" Fleur quipped, "Hmm, I think that wins him mine too."
Bill snorted, "She wasn't our mother anymore; she was a feral screaming beast."
Fleur cocked her head, "Yes, you are right. That sounds nothing like Molly Weasley."
Bill shot her a look, halfway between being genuinely annoyed and amused.
"I found the banshee on my way to Malfoy Manor to kill Charlie, funnily enough," Felix said, slipping his wand into his pocket, "But since the Dark Lord didn't complete the job, it seems like there is still hope."
"I was doing it to protect you, you ungrateful dick."
"Such colourful language you English boys use," Fleur murmured.
"It's not an English thing, love, it's a Weasley thing," Felix said, smirking at the French woman, "They're a ruggedly handsome bunch, rough diamonds and all that."
Charlie raised an eyebrow at Felix and leant against the worktop, "You killed her then?"
"Uh-huh, you heard all that?"
"You should not have. I told you to stay in bed, Charles!" Fleur remarked.
"I know you did, but I'm a big boy. I can handle Felix's anger."
Felix shook his head, "It's all just a big joke to you, isn't it? You don't care that you abandoned me because you were 'doing it for the right reasons'? Well, do you know what, mate? Grindelwald said that, and he committed mass genocide."
Charlie gave Felix a sceptical look, "We work for the guy everyone says is worse than Grindelwald, so cut it out with the self-righteous bullshit."
"Language," Fleur chastised, mostly in jest.
"Out with it. Why are you really pissed off?" Charlie asked Felix.
"Are you for real? Because you lied to me and ran off! Because you could have died all because of your own stupid Gryffindor brashness! Why the hell didn't you wait for me?"
"Because I was trying to protect you!" Charlie snapped.
"Well, don't! How many times do I tell you that you don't need to? I can handle myself, and I killed the banshee by myself. You don't need to keep trying to protect me, Charlie!"
"Yeah, I do, you prick, because I love you!"
The kitchen went silent. Fleur raised an eyebrow, and Bill looked between the two men who seemed to be having a staring contest.
"Well, that escalated quickly."
"Shut up, Bill!" Charlie and Felix echoed.
Fleur shook her head, amusement glinting in her eyes, "I'm going for a walk."
"Yeah, I'll come with you," Bill said, grabbing his coat, "Don't you two dare shag anywhere in this house," he added, pointing at his brother specifically.
Charlie didn't even come out with his usual jokey remark; he just waved Bill off and looked back at Felix.
"I didn't think you felt that way," Felix admitted.
"Nah Felix, I just shag you and spend every minute of my day with you for a laugh," Charlie muttered sarcastically.
"Don't do that," Felix cut in, "Don't act like a dick just because you can't handle your own feelings. I'm not like you. I'm totally comfortable with who I am and what I am. It's you whose been living your life in a fucking closet. You have so much internalised homophobia, most of it because of your bitch of a mother, that you had to lose control to tell me you loved me. I told you ages ago because I knew that was how I felt and wanted you to know, and I don't care who else knows. I'd tell anyone if you let me, but you don't because you think you're a monster, because you're disgusted by yourself."
Felix shook his head angrily, "I don't feel like that, Charlie. I didn't give a shit when my father shunned me for being gay; I just made my own way. I didn't care when the other guys on the reserve called me a pansy. I let them do it until they realised how damn good I was at my job, then they realised that it would pay to keep me around, even if I did screw guys."
Charlie swallowed and looked down.
"But you? You played Quidditch like the big, manly man, and you flirted with all the ladies. You acted like the tough dragon trainer with all his scars," Felix barked, "And everyone bought up that image. Still, it was me who you came to in the middle of the night, who saw the real you past the big, straight man image that you built for yourself, so you don't get to fucking close yourself off now that you've finally admitted how you feel about me!"
When Felix was done, Charlie nodded, "Yeah, you're right. I mean…you're right about all of it, Felix and I'm sorry."
Felix nodded stiffly, "Good."
"You can tell whoever you want, I don't care," Charlie promised, "And we'll find you someone to shack up with for the sake of an heir, but not at the cost of what we have because in all honesty, you're the first person I've said those words to who wasn't family."
Felix looked up in disbelief, "Really?"
"Really," Charlie said.
They held eye contact for a brief moment, then they moved towards each other at the same time, their lips crashing together as Charlie backed Felix into the kitchen counter.
"Your brother said not to shag in his house."
"I don't give a shit what my brother said."
"That looks old."
Lily looked over the book in her hands at the pretty redhead staring down at her, "It is," she agreed.
Susan cocked her head at the books cover and sat down in a comfortable armchair opposite Lily in the study hall, "Is it even in English?"
Lily nodded and reached for the mug of cocoa on the table, "Mhm, old English, though."
"Gift from a boyfriend?" Susan asked, giving Lily a knowing look.
Lily raised an eyebrow, "What are you insinuating, Susan?"
"Oh, nothing," Susan said, a smirk playing on her lips, "I've just noticed that you and Professor Riddle spend a lot of time together and as one of the smartest people I know, and the Head Girl, I doubt you need any additional help with your studies."
"Hm," Lily said.
"He's also handsome," Susan said, leaning forward in her chair, "So handsome. Those eyes, that bone structure? I mean, nobody would blame you for falling off the good girl wagon for him."
"Not sure I've ever been on the good girl wagon, Susan, but thanks for your concern," Lily said dryly.
Susan didn't leave as Lily had hoped she would. Instead, she leant forward, further still, "Look, Lil, I know you're a Death Eater; the whole school pretty much knows."
"I've never tried to hide it," Lily said, glancing up at Susan.
Susan watched her for a long moment, "I don't know who Professor Riddle is, but he's obviously someone from that circle, and that's all fine and well, but you're not a pureblood, so you don't know what it's like. Men like that tend to use young girls then toss them aside when they are done with them."
"I appreciate your concern, Susan, but there are reasons why I don't have to worry about that," Lily said cryptically, "Reasons you don't need to know about, but valid ones all the same."
"Okay," Susan said, raising her hands, "I won't push it; you're a big girl. You're more than capable of making your own decisions."
Lily closed her book and gave Susan her full attention, "You know, I'm surprised that you just accepted it when the rumours started circulating. You have to know about my involvement with Harry, and I know your opinion of him, but you never stopped talking to me."
Susan shook her head, "You're my friend, regardless of where your loyalties lie. I'm not a fickle or shallow person, Lil. You know that."
Lily nodded thoughtfully, "Still, I thought you might have tried to entice me over to the light."
"No, I'm not working with the light," Susan confessed, "I'm not working with anyone. I'm standing in the middle of no man's land with bombs flying over my head from all directions and no clear sense of direction myself."
"You aren't the only one," Lily assured her.
Susan sighed, "I lost Hannah to the Death Eaters, which almost pushed me towards the light, but I don't know how I can ever work for a rebellion led by the Jones family."
"You have an issue with the Jones family?" Lily asked with interest.
Susan scoffed, "An issue? Yeah, they are the reason my family are all gone. I mean, yes, You-Know-Who killed them, but Matthias Jones sold them out. He was our secret keeper, and he told You-Know-Who where we were hiding to save his own bloody family."
"What a scumbag!" Lily remarked loudly.
"Ladies!" Bill remarked, tutting mockingly, "This is a place of study, not a place of gossip."
Lily rolled her eyes, "Yes, sir," she said, exaggerating her words, "I'm very sorry, Professor Weasley, sir."
Bill raised an eyebrow at her, "That doesn't work with me, Lily. Study quietly or gossip in the corridor outside."
"Uh-huh," Lily said offhandedly, looking back to Susan.
"Sweet Helga, you are shagging Riddle, and Professor Weasley knows it?"
"Everyone knows it, even if Tom thinks it's some great big secret," Lily said with a wave of her hand.
"Tom? Huh, I didn't picture him as a Tom," Susan mused.
Lily bit back a snort of amusement as she thought to herself, funny that, neither did he.
"Did he give you that book?" Susan asked curiously.
Lily just nodded.
"What's it about?"
"It's a book of poetry," Lily replied.
Susan smirked, "Poetry? That's rather romantic. Would you read me an excerpt?"
Lily opened the book at the page she had been reading and read in a whisper, "He wears the smell of blood and death like a perfume. There is fire in his eyes and ice in his veins, but you love him anyway, for he is a star, burning with the light of a thousand suns, and your world is dark without him."
"Intense," Susan whispered.
Lily laughed, "Do you know what? I think that's the most simple but accurate description I've ever heard to describe him."
Susan laughed too, and Bill turned their way again.
"Ladies!"
Susan and Lily shared an amused look but fell into comfortable silence anyway.
Harry was beginning to worry that Neville would pick the wrong side when his friend approached him in the library. He looked around, then sat down across from Harry and tapped his arm.
Harry looked up and smiled.
Neville smiled back, but Harry could tell that he was nervous. He signed, "I don't know what to do."
Harry signed, "Is it the old head and heart debate?"
Neville frowned, "Ginny thinks we should side with you, but I don't know if I can get past what they did to my parents."
Harry nodded and signed, "I understand that, trust me. But if it helps, I could make sure that you never had to be within two metres of the people who did that?"
Neville caught Harry's eye, and Harry could see the turmoil there. He decided that a more direct approach was required, so he signed, "I get the moral compass issue, trust me. But it would help if you thought about this selfishly. What has the light ever done for you? Your family treated you terribly because they were so afraid of you becoming a squib."
Neville gave a small nod, and Harry signed, "Dumbledore never did anything for you either, and now they want you to be a back-up Harry Potter. I don't like to call us the dark side because I don't think we are, but you have to admit that we have done a lot more for you than they have."
Neville did not sign or say anything, but he didn't look away from Harry either.
Harry signed, "It was us who found someone to help Ginny after she hurt you. Narcissa got in touch with Fitz Mulciber, and he brought Beth here for her."
Neville swallowed. He hadn't known that.
"It was me who helped you through your recovery because despite what side either of us is on, you are still one of my best friends, and I don't want to lose you."
Neville frowned at him and signed, "You act like a cold-hearted Death Eater, then you say things like that. I don't get it."
Harry shrugged, "I suppose part of it is a persona, to protect myself from getting hurt again, but most of the time, I can't keep up the act around you."
Neville raised an eyebrow and signed, "Is this the part where you tell me you have always loved me?"
Harry snorted and signed, "You wish."
Neville chuckled and shook his head.
Harry smiled and signed, "And don't forget, it was the Dark Lord who helped you use magic again after you were deafened."
Neville frowned then his eyes widened. He shook his head and mouthed, "Professor Riddle?"
Harry nodded.
"He's the Dark Lord?" Neville signed.
Harry gave a small nod, "We are not the bad guys, Neville."
Neville was quiet for a moment, then he nodded. He slung his bag onto his shoulder and rose to his feet, "I'm in."
Harry was surprised by how easy that had been, "All the way in or are you just going to dip your toes in the water?"
"All the way," Neville signed, "If I'm with you, then I'm with you for better or worse."
"I'm proposing that you become a Death Eater, not marriage," Harry signed, an amused smile on his lips.
"I'll be getting marked and tied down for life. What's the difference?" Neville signed.
"The lack of sex?"
Neville snorted, "Sounds just like a marriage, then."
With a chuckle, Harry signed, "I'm relieved that you made that decision because if you had fought for the light and I had to face you in battle? I don't think I could have done it."
Neville smiled, "Me either. Why do you think I chose the way I did?" he signed before turning around and leaving the library.
Harry was high on his victory, so much so that he didn't notice Daphne take Neville's vacant seat straight away, not until she tapped her manicured fingernails against the desk.
Harry looked up sharply, then smiled and opened his mouth to say hi, but before he could, she shook her head.
Harry frowned as Daphne held her hands up and signed, "I was sitting over there. I saw everything you just signed."
Harry grimaced, "Everything?"
Daphne nodded and signed, "Why didn't you tell me that he was the Dark Lord?"
"Because I wasn't sure that I could trust you until recently," Harry signed back.
Daphne frowned and signed, "He looks human then? I thought he was a monster. My father described him as snake-like with red eyes."
"He used to look like that, but then he found a way to keep himself permanently glamoured up," Harry signed, "Funnily enough, just before he met Lily."
"I can understand what she sees in him now anyway," Daphne signed.
Harry gave her an exasperated look, and she smirked.
"No talking in the library!" Pince barked.
Harry looked over at her in disbelief, "It's sign language."
"It's still talking," Pince said, glaring at him, "You're distracting the other students."
Harry rolled his eyes and signed at Daphne, "The mad old bat is probably just irritated because she can't understand sign language."
"The mad old bat can understand sign language just fine," Pince snapped, "Out! Both of you!"
Daphne shot Harry an amused look but contained her laughter until they were in the corridor outside the library. At which point, she burst out laughing and said, "How are you the Dark Lords right-hand man? You're an absolute disaster."
Harry grinned, "A terrifying disaster."
"Right, because I'm quivering with fear," Daphne said sarcastically.
"I can make you-"
"If you finish that sentence, I may vomit."
Harry paused and turned around, "Hermione? How did you get into the castle?"
Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow, "How many secret passageways did we explore together, Harry?"
Daphne snorted, "The rumours were true then."
"No, we were just friends," Harry said offhandedly, "Apart from that one time we kissed during the Triwizard Tournament, and Hermione freaked out."
"I did not freak out-"
"You ran out of the champions' tent and didn't talk to me all week," Harry said, an amused grin on his face, "Then we never spoke about. I wondered if I dreamt it."
Hermione smirked, "Maybe you did."
"Shut up, Hermione."
Daphne cocked her head at the dark-haired girl, "I think I'm starting to see the family resemblance."
Hermione frowned, "What?"
"Hermione, meet Daphne – Daphne, meet Hermione," Harry said dramatically, "You're cousins."
"Your father is my Uncle Julian," Daphne added.
"I think she knows what cousins are, Daphne," Harry teased.
"Shut up, or go away, Potter," Daphne said dryly as she eyed Hermione, "Aren't you a fugitive? What brings you to the castle?"
"Well, as the full moon is in two days and the person who was supposed to owl me information seems to have forgotten-" Hermione shot Harry an exasperated look, " – I thought I would take matters into my own hands."
Harry grimaced then replied sarcastically, "Sorry, I've been busy being the evil demon child. You know, torturing little children, killing small animals and all that."
Hermione fixed him with an irritated look, "You're exhausting."
"I wholeheartedly agree with that," Daphne chipped in.
Harry threw his hands up into the air, "You know, guys, I'm feeling ganged up on by the women in my life right now."
Daphne raised an eyebrow, "I am not a woman in your life."
"Neither am I, anymore," Hermione said, eying Harry irritably, "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, burned the t-shirt, stamped on the ashes of the t-shirt."
"Okay, I think you're being a little melodramatic, and I kind of want you to stop saying the word 't-shirt' if I'm honest," Harry said, shooting Hermione an amused look.
"Yes, I forgot all about you, and I'm very sorry about that. We meet at 11.55 pm exactly under the full moon; everyone dresses completely in black, underwear and all, you won't get in unless you show up with the blood of a lamb smeared on your-"
Daphne flicked her fingers in Harry's direction, causing him to shriek in pain and grab his balls.
"Did you just freeze his balls?"
Daphne smirked, "They meet at Malfoy Manor at 7 pm sharp. The Dark Lord does not accept tardiness. Black robes are required, and you must sacrifice someone to show your devotion to the Dark Lord. It can be someone you have a personal vendetta against or failing that, any muggle you want plucked from the street."
"Thank you, Daphne," Hermione said while tears of pain rolled down Harry's cheeks, "See, Harry? Was that really so hard?"
With a smile that was far too sweet for the occasion, Daphne ended the curse, and Harry asked quietly, "Why? Why would you do that?"
"Because you were an arse," Daphne replied smoothly.
"If you were only capable of showing some sense of decorum, all of that could have been avoided, Harry," Hermione chirped.
Harry glared at her, "Gee, thanks Hermione, your hindsight is invaluable in this situation," he ground out sarcastically.
"You're welcome, Harry!" Hermione called, smirking and stalking away from him.
"Seriously though, how did she get in here?"
"I really did show her a lot of secret passages," Harry said, still leaning against the wall, "And I still can't decide if I like you or not, by the way."
"Well, I like to keep people guessing," Daphne said, smiling at Harry and heading back into the library.
When Harry limped into the common room, Draco frowned, "What happened to you?"
"Daphne Greengrass and Hermione Granger," Harry muttered, sitting down carefully next to his friend.
Draco's frown deepened, "The first one isn't a surprise, but how the hell did you meet Granger? You didn't leave the school, did you?"
"No, she snuck in here," Harry said, leaning forward and cursing under his breath about the fucking ice queen.
Draco nudged him in the side, and Harry whined in pain.
"How did she get in?"
"How did she get in?" Harry muttered in disbelief, "Have you met me? I spent most of my time at this school sneaking around, and Hermione was with me like 60% of the time."
Draco snorted, and Harry groaned as he tried to get comfortable.
"What the hell did Daphne do to you?" Draco asked.
Harry gave him a look that said, 'really, Draco?'
Draco snorted, "Really?"
"Really," Harry muttered, leaning back and sighing.
Draco grinned, "Oh, do you know what? It's nice to see you get a taste of your own medicine, Harry."
Harry glared at him, "Are you enjoying this?"
"Am I enjoying this? No, Harry, I am loving this," Draco chirped, "We all warned you to stay away from Daphne. We all told you that she had earned the title of the Ice Queen for a reason, but no, you knew better. Until, of course, she froze your bollocks. Now you know why we all told you to stay away from her."
"You're a dick," Harry muttered.
Draco snorted, "This is why I'm going to choose Astoria when push comes to shove over that marriage contract."
Harry's eyes widened, "Oh…oh…yeah, about that…"
Draco looked over at him, "What did you do?"
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you something," Harry admitted, "When Cygnus and I talked at Theo's funeral, he asked if there was anything he could do to thank me, and I asked him to rip up the marriage contract."
Draco raised an eyebrow at him, "Is that because you want to marry Daphne yourself or because your shreds of humanity wanted to give me, your friend from the beginning of this journey, my freedom?"
Harry put on his poker face, "It's definitely because you're my bestie, and I love you."
Draco kicked him in the shin, and the jostling made Harry whine in pain rather pathetically.
"You're a dick, but you're also a bad liar," Draco said, shaking his head in exasperation, "Is there anything else you've conveniently forgotten to tell me?"
"Yes, Hermione was here because she is being initiated in two days, and I sort of forgot to tell her where to go," Harry confessed.
"Fuck me!"
"Nah, sorry, you're not my type," Harry said, grinning at his friend.
"Seriously, how did you persuade the golden girl of Gryffindor to take the dark fucking mark?"
"Don't take the lords name in vain, Draco," Harry quipped, and behind them, Tracey snorted in amusement.
Before Draco could ask any more questions, Harry turned around to look at Tracey, "Hey Trace, remember how you asked for Hermione Granger or a unicorn? How about we say rain check on the unicorn, and you get to become a Death Eater and becomes BFF's with Hermione Crouch?"
"Holy shit!"
"What the fuck?"
"Hermione Crouch?"
Draco looked at Harry in disbelief, "A – what the fuck? And B – do you really think you should be shouting about that in the bloody common room?"
"The Dark Lord wants it known that she's a half-blood, not a muggle-born, so it was intentional," Harry said, smirking at his friend, "Do you really think I do anything without a well thought out reason?"
"Yes, Harry. I very much do think that you do most things without a well thought out reason," Draco replied dryly, "How the hell is she Hermione Crouch?"
"Well, long story short, her dad is a Death Eater who fell in love with a squib on the light side. It's a proper Romeo and Juliet love story this, so it's appropriate that Hermione's parents renamed her with a Shakespearean name," Harry said with a shrug, "Katherine Granger doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?"
"Her real name is Katherine?" Tracey asked.
Harry frowned, "That's your takeaway from this?"
Tracey shrugged, "She just doesn't look like much of a Katherine, does she? The name Katherine is sexy and mysterious."
Harry snorted, "Wait till you meet the new leather jacket, biker boot, skinny jean wearing Hermione whose in a three-way with a couple of werewolves."
Tracey raised an eyebrow, "I'll look forward to it."
"You could see her on the full moon if you agree to join us," Harry said, grinning at Tracey.
Tracey gave him an amused look, "I'm going to be there. I've already told my brothers, and they have informed the Dark Lord. I just thought I would keep you on your toes."
Harry chuckled and was about to thank her when a high-pitched voice said, "You're making Hermione Granger and her a Death Eater, but you won't take me?"
Harry rolled his eyes and turned around, "Pansy love, it's an important life lesson to learn that there are those who do and those who judge the people who do without having the real skill or intelligence to do it themselves. You are the latter, I'm afraid."
Pansy frowned, "You're not even making sense, you filthy half-blood!"
"My point exactly," Harry said, turning to look at her and sighing, "If I had a galleon for every time you said something smart, I'd be poorer than the Weasleys."
Pansy's frown deepened, "What are you talking about?"
Tracey snorted, and Harry got to his feet, "I didn't want it to get to this point because I don't want to piss off your father, but I'm so done with you being a disrespectful bitch."
With a laugh, Pansy said, "You wouldn't. My father is-"
"Ugh, and now you sound like a prepubescent Draco," Harry muttered, flicking his wand towards her and saying, "Crucio!"
There was an intake of breath in the common room, and it was silent for half a second until Pansy's scream filled the air.
Harry walked over when Pansy fell to her knees, and he stood above her.
"Huh, now I see why the Dark Lord is so fond of this spell. Something is satisfying about seeing an idiot in pain."
Pansy tried to force out an apology but didn't quite manage.
Harry glared at her, "If it weren't for your father, I would have killed you months ago, so thank your lucky stars that you still get to live your pathetic little life and keep your mouth shut."
He ended the spell, and Pansy apologised tearfully.
Draco watched Harry warily as he shoved his wand in his pocket and said, "I'm going to my room. If you want to join me for chess later, Draco, bring the board to me. I don't particularly want to spend any more time than I have to surrounded by idiots."
Without another word, Harry left, and he could feel the eyes of every occupant of the common room on him as he did so.
Harry was lying in bed that night when the Dark Lords thoughts invaded his mind.
I hear you have stirred a rather large pot today, Harry.
Harry rolled his eyes, I would ask how you found out, but I'm going to hazard a guess that Pansy shouted about it very loudly and Lily heard then came running to you.
Lilith did, indeed, tell me. But regardless of how I found out, we do need to discuss the seriousness of your actions. I understand that Miss Parkinson is as ignorant as she is disrespectful, but she is also the daughter of one of my financiers, so a certain degree of restraint must be used.
Harry bit back an irritated comment and thought, We have the Greengrass's now. Why do we need the Parkinson's?
The Greengrass bring financial growth, but the Parkinson family is the very embodiment of old money. I do not expect you to understand such matters yet. You are still young, after all.
Tom was very calm, despite the fact he was basically giving Harry a verbal bitch slap. Harry hazarded a guess that he was probably lying in bed with Lily while he thought-spoke to him.
She snores. It is very irritating, Harry.
Harry snorted, Is it? Or is it cute?
That word is not in my vocabulary, Tom thought irritably.
Harry chuckled to himself and thought, Do you know, snuggling with someone after sex is kind of a romantic thing to do?
What is snuggling? Even when he thought the word, Tom sounded disgusted.
Hugging, Tom, Harry thought to the Dark Lord, If she is curled up asleep on your chest right now, that's romantic. Sex is for pleasure, for satisfying a feral need. All animals do it. It has a purpose, but what comes after the sex? That's human, enjoying the warmth of another body against your own, the comfort of another heartbeat, the scent of that person changing your mood? Those are human emotions, and you're lying if you say you don't feel any of that when you're with her.
Goodnight Harry.
Tom shoved Harry out of his head, and Harry rolled his eyes at the depth of the Dark Lords denial.
Harry couldn't sleep that night, so he took himself into the Slytherin common room, expecting it to be empty.
He smiled when he saw Daphne, asleep in an armchair by the fire with a book propped open in her lap. Harry had noticed that she seemed to sleep as little as he did; often, they were the only two in the common room long after everyone else had gone to bed.
Harry quietly crossed the common room and lay a blanket over Daphne, unwittingly waking her in the process. She looked so innocent as she blinked blearily.
"Sorry," Harry said sheepishly. He thrust his right hand in the direction of the fire, bringing the embers to life so that within seconds, they had a roaring fire.
Daphne made a soft noise of appreciation and murmured, "Can't you sleep?"
"I can never sleep," Harry replied. He sat down on the sofa and stretched his feet out in front of the fire, "I used to be able to catch the odd peaceful night, but since Theo died?" he shook his head.
Daphne got to her feet and stretched. The cropped blouse she was wearing hiked up enough to expose her midriff, and Harry quickly looked into the fire before it was apparent that he was watching her.
He expected her to go to her dorm room with a polite goodnight, but she didn't. Daphne grabbed the blanket and sat down next to Harry on the sofa.
"I'm sorry for icing you earlier," Daphne said.
"I probably deserved it," Harry admitted.
"Hmm," Daphne agreed, wriggling herself into a comfortable position by his side, "Do you want me to stay?"
"Are you just offering because you feel bad for trying to freeze my bollocks off?" Harry joked.
Daphne chuckled, "Not entirely. I just get the impression that you like having someone with you at night time," She mused.
Harry looked over at her, "You think?"
Daphne rested her head on his shoulder and pulled the blanket over them both, "You keep yourself busy all day, but at night, all the things you've done haunt you, and you spend hours analysing every decision to work out if it was the right one. I think if you have another heartbeat to zone in on or a warm body next to you, it's enough of a distraction to let you get some rest."
Harry lay his head against the back of the sofa and hummed thoughtfully as his hand came to rest on her back.
"Maybe you're right," He confessed.
That was the sort of thing he would only have confessed to Theo. Lily knew obviously, but it was because she had worked it out, not because he had told her.
Daphne sighed sleepily, "You're only human, Harry."
Harry thought about that for a moment; it was something that Theo had reminded him of all the time.
Sometimes he didn't feel it; sometimes, he felt like he had to be superhuman to stay alive. But she was right. He was human, and he was flesh and blood just like she was.
"Do you want to talk about what's keeping you up?" Daphne asked.
Harry closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, "Just thinking about the Dark Lord and the effect Lily is having on him. It started as fascination, and he warned her that he could never love her because he doesn't feel like he can love, but lately…I don't know, he seems to be feeling things for her, very human things. I mean, he even looks human now, which, I don't know if that makes a difference, but…he's different."
Daphne chuckled, the sound vibrating through Harry's body, "He's the most powerful wizard since Grindelwald, and he's developing feelings because of her? A girl from London?"
Harry smiled and said, "Well, she does have a damaged intensity that some people might find attractive."
Daphne properly laughed at that, and Harry's hand slipped a little lower, resting on the bare skin of her lower back, "How are you so warm? I expected you to be cold."
"Hmm," Daphne mused, she was on the edge of sleep, "Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, I guess."
She reached for his hand, and Harry's heart leapt. He smiled softly as he felt exhaustion tugging at him, and he fell into a much needed, blissfully peaceful sleep.
* TBC *