War on Our Doorstep
"I'm going to see Alice." Claudia said as she peaked into Sirius' garage in Gower Mews. They had been back from Hogwarts for three days, and Sirius only left that place to eat and sleep.
"Alright." He mumbled while examining a rusty pipe. "I'm not sure where this goes."
"I'll see you later." Claudia mumbled. She was planning to ask him if he wanted to come with her, but there would be little point. What was she even thinking giving him the motorcycle books for his Birthday? The piano that Claudia and the boys were getting Sirius for Christmas better not come back to bite her in the ass in quite the same way.
As became a habit over the summer, Claudia decided to walk to the Ministry. Central London was bustling with Muggles finishing their Christmas shopping. Claudia suspected that if they knew what You-Know-Who had in store for them, they would not look quite so happy.
Alice picked Claudia from the Ministry's reception and they took one of the numerous lifts to the floor that housed the Auror Office.
"This is where I work." Alice pointed at a desk, grinning. "Four days a week, I'm here doing Auror work. On Fridays, we're all at the Academy, as we call it, getting the additional training."
"It's amazing." Claudia whispered, looking around in a haze. There were boards everywhere with case notes plastered all over them. Aurors were running around, barking orders at each other. She had to pinch herself. There was a long way to go yet. She must not fall in love with this place.
"Should we go for lunch?" Alice asked and reached for her coat.
"Adler!" Someone yelled. "I need that report now!"
"I'm sorry." Alice sighed. "Give me half an hour. I'll meet you in the corridor."
"That's alright. I was going to say hi to the Minister's office guys anyway." Claudia replied. She was desperate to talk to Ignatius about the mysterious report he left in the picture. Quite frankly, she was also ready to give him a piece of her mind for not speaking up properly. It took her months before she found it. Months that she wasted.
"Hey Berenice." Claudia said cheerfully when she got to the Minister's private office. She scanned it but could not see Ignatius anywhere. If anyone knew where he was, it would be Berenice.
"Claudia!" Berenice exclaimed and hugged her.
Pointless chit chat ensued, during which Claudia was looking for an opening to ask what was really on her mind.
"Is Ignatius around?" Claudia asked.
"Finally decided to ask him out?" Berenice chuckled.
"Haha." Claudia replied sarcastically. "I told you I had a boyfriend. I just want to thank him for his leaving present."
"Bad luck." Berenice shrugged. "Ignatius quit few weeks after you left. Went traveling apparently."
"Where did he go?" Claudia asked, trying to sound calm. But deep down, she was feeling rattled by the news. Hopefully, Ignatius was indeed travelling and his whistleblowing had not cost him his life.
"No one knows." Berenice replied. "Sorry, got to go. The Minister is back. Was good to see you."
Claudia backed out of the Minister's office as fast as she could. She had no desire to speak to any of the others. And since she still had some time to kill, she wandered through the Ministry corridors, unable to keep her mind off Ignatius' whereabouts. When she was nearly back at Alice's office, she spotted a door with a battered sign that read 'Auror Office Administration'.
"Where can I get an application, please?" She asked when she popped her head in.
Without a word, a middle-aged witch, who seemed to be the sole occupier of the cramped space, pointed at a stack of papers laying on top of a cabinet by the door.
"Thank you." Claudia mumbled and grabbed one of the files. Armed with that treasure, she went to wait for Alice.
As she was lingering in the corridor, Claudia's eyes were drawn towards a wall with a couple dozen pictures of serious and impressive-looking men and women. There was a date at the bottom of each one. It must have been the date of when they completed their training and became full-fledged aurors. Few names were added in the sixties, but as the seventies progressed more and more pictures seemed to have been put up. Makes sense, Claudia thought. After all, there was a war on, and the Ministry must have been needing a lot of aurors to keep You-Know-Who at bay. That was good for her chances.
When she got to the end of the wall, her eyes rested on a plaque.
"In the memory of all the men and women of the Auror Office who laid down their lives to protect us all."
Claudia swallowed dry.
These were not the dates when all these people became aurors.
These were the dates when they died.
She could not help but glance at the application form she was holding in her hand. The ink was bleeding through the page. And for a good reason. Claudia's palms were all sweaty.
When she finally managed to pull her eyes off the application, she spotted Alice at the end of the corridor with a young man, and briskly walked over to join them. She wiped her palms dry on the back of her jeans and tried to look as normal as she could.
"Claudia." Alice began, blushing slightly. "This is Frank." He was about the same height as Alice, with round cheeks and blond hair. It took Claudia a while to find the right word to describe him before it finally struck her. He looked wholesome.
"Nice to meet you." Claudia extended her now dry hand. "I've heard a lot of interesting things about you."
"Have you?" Frank asked and glanced at Alice, his eyes just ever so slightly wide. "Only good things I hope." He added, somewhat nervously.
"Don't mind her." Alice laughed. "She's just trying to scare you."
"It's working." Frank mumbled, which made both Alice and Claudia chuckle.
"Shall we?" Claudia said.
"Is Sirius coming?" Alice asked instead of replying.
"Don't get me started." Claudia rolled her eyes. "He's bought a derelict motorbike and been spending every minute in the garage, trying to fix it up."
"Merlin, help us all." Frank laughed. "I was made prefect in his first year. That was some feat, trying to keep control over the four of them." He explained.
"James is a Head Boy now." Claudia said.
"James Potter?" Frank felt the need to double check.
"That very one." Claudia smirked.
"I'm going to leave you two to catch-up." Frank said. "I need to finish a couple of things before Moody bites my head off."
Alice and Claudia said goodbye to Frank and set off down the corridor.
"So?" Alice asked eagerly once they were out of earshot.
"So what?" Claudia teased her.
"What do you think?" Alice clarified, growing ever so slightly impatient.
"I don't know." Claudia shrugged, trying not to giggle. "Only met him for a couple of minutes."
"Claudia!" Alice hissed. "Stop tormenting me!"
"He seems great, Alice. Honestly." Claudia smiled.
Alice exhaled, and a broad smile appeared on her face. As is something large suddenly fell off her chest.
"Now, come and help me pick him a Christmas present." She said.
"What about food?" Claudia protested. She hated shopping.
"Food can wait." Alice laughed, grabbed Claudia's hand, and dragged her towards one of the fireplaces in the atrium.
Throughout the shopping ordeal, Claudia struggled to keep her focus on the task at hand. She could not stop thinking about Ignatius' whereabout and all these dead aurors. As the girls were parting ways, she gripped Alice tight in her arms.
"Be careful, please." She whispered. "I don't want you to end up on that wall."
"I promise." Alice whispered. For the first time that day, Alice was not smiling.
The following day was Christmas Eve, and Claudia could not wait to get started on her auror application. She cleaned the kitchen table, thoroughly washed her hands, and got a new quill. It had to be perfect.
"Claudia Lavinia Avery." She wrote into the first box. Her hand was shaking.
The application required her to provide a detailed personal and educational record. There were also a lot of questions about her strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. She had no idea where to start with any of that.
Sirius emerged from the garage covered in oil and sat down next to her.
A whole page on why you want to be an auror?" He laughed as he gleaned what she was working on. "I hate my father and want him to pay for everything he did. There, done. You'll need to write that in pretty big letters to fill the whole page, though." He added, moving his finger towards the parchment.
"Wash your hands!" Claudia shrieked.
Sirius knew better than to argue with her, so he walked over to the kitchen to clean himself up.
"What are you going to do? Claudia asked him. "After we leave Hogwarts?"
"Well." Sirius sighed. "I'm not going to be a muggle mechanic. That's for sure. The bike is a nightmare."
"I mean it." Claudia frowned at him.
"I do want to fight, but I couldn't do this." He nodded towards the auror application. "Too many rules. Too much additional training."
"I'm sure you'll find a way." Claudia smiled. "Lack of creativity has never been your problem."
"This should be interesting." Sirius laughed as he sat down and pointed at the application again. "They want to know what your biggest weakness is. It's a question specifically designed to weed out the Slytherins, I'm sure of it."
"If you're so smart." Claudia smirked. "What is my biggest weakness?"
Sirius thought about it for a long time. Claudia's eyes were getting narrower and narrower with every second he hesitated.
"Me?" He finally said, wearing his most innocent expression.
Claudia could not help but laugh.
In an instant, Sirius' face went solemn. He brushed the side of her face with his hand and kissed her.
"This is the first time I've seen you laugh in weeks." He whispered.
"I'm sorry." Claudia uttered. "I just don't feel like I can. Since we found out about what Snape is really up to."
"It's ok to laugh, Claude." Sirius replied. "If we can't even do that, they've won already."
Claudia smiled but did not have it in her to respond.
"Come on. Let's make dinner." Sirius added. "It's getting late and I'm hungry."
Neither of them had any idea how to cook using magic, as that was something the house-elves did far away from any of their family members. Luckily, the previous owners of the flat were a muggle-born and a muggle, and the flat was equipped for both wizarding and muggle needs. So, they found a muggle recipe to slow roast the beef joint they bought earlier at the local butchers. It was easy enough to follow.
Claudia chopped up the potatoes and vegetable, while Sirius browned the beef on both sides. They put it all in a casserole, ready to slot it in the oven.
"Right. The beef is going to be done in…" He flicked through the muggle cookbook. "Six hours."
"That's at midnight." Claudia chuckled, looking at the clock.
"Indeed." Sirius said and scratched his head.
They both burst out laughing. Their first attempt at proper muggle cooking was not turning out especially well.
They filled out the time the only way two teenagers in love and left without supervision could. The bottle of wine they cooked with was emptied and they ended up in bed.
Claudia was woken up by some buzzing noise. She had no idea whether it was still Christmas Eve, or she slept through till the morning. She fumbled around the bed to find Sirius and make him stop the noise, but could not. So, she threw on a t-shirt and Sirius' underwear and sleepily made her way to the living room.
The room had been completely transformed. The table was set, the candles lit, and the Christmas lights were up. They even had a beautifully decorated tree.
"Merry Christmas." Sirius said cheerfully as his head emerged from the kitchen. He was carrying the tin of roast beef, and it smelled heavenly.
Without warning, Claudia started to weep.
"What's wrong?" Sirius put down the roast and walked up to her.
"I never thought I needed this." Claudia whispered, wiping her eyes. "Not until just now."
"What? A Christmas tree?" Sirius smiled at her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"No." Claudia shook her head, still crying. "Something that feels like home."
Sirius wrapped his arm around Claudia and pressed her head against his chest. They stood in an embrace in the middle of the living room. No more words were needed to express how bittersweet this moment was for both of them. They finally had somewhere to call home. Together.
"The beef needs to rest for fifteen minutes." Sirius whispered. "Go take a shower and I'll get it ready."
It was the best Christmas meal Claudia has ever had. With her stomach full of delicious food, she crashed into bed happy and exhausted. Sirius was right, no matter what was going on in the outside world, they deserved to laugh together. They deserved their little bubble of happiness. Once inside Sirius' warm embrace, she was asleep within seconds.
On Christmas morning, Claudia snuck out of bed to let James and Peter in so that they could drop off the piano. Sirius was overjoyed when he saw it. Almost as overjoyed as Claudia was when she saw what he got for her. The first edition memoirs of the legendary auror Theseus Scamander.
Sirius had to drag her out of the armchair where she spent the morning reading, as they were due at the Potters at noon for a Christmas Day lunch.
Claudia could sense that both James and Mrs Potter were somewhat anxious throughout the meal. And they had a good reason for that, as Lily was coming for tea and cake in the afternoon. It was the first time she was meeting James' parents.
Once Lily arrived, they were all sitting comfortably in the living room, sipping tea from beautifully crafted china. Lily was just telling them how her older sister got married recently.
"It can be so tough, moving out of your parents' house at that age. You need to learn a whole new way to live." Mrs Potter said. "How is it living alone, Sirius? Do you miss having us around?"
"I don't think he does." James chuckled.
"What he means is that I don't exactly live alone." Sirius sought to clarify when Mrs Potter looked somewhat hurt. "Claude's been staying with me."
"That's ok, I guess." Mrs Potter smiled uncertainly. "You two will be married soon enough."
"I'm not sure about that." Claudia mumbled.
"Not everyone needs to get married straight away, mum." James tried to make amends and save everyone's blushes. Sirius was glaring at him, clearly making him regret that he brought this up in the first place. "The times have changed."
"It's just a meaningless piece of paper anyway." Sirius added.
"Do all young people think that?" Mrs Potter asked, somewhat taken aback.
"Not necessarily." Lily whispered, barely raising her eyes from the cake.
No one dared to say anything else in return. To be on the safe side, they spent the rest of the tea talking about the weather. Apparently, even London might get some snow in the coming days.
After the excruciating tea was finished, James and Sirius got ready to visit Remus. It was the full moon that night and they promised they would keep him company. The official excuse, however, was that Remus was not feeling well and needed cheering up.
"Are you going to see your parents, dear?" Mrs Potter asked Claudia.
"No. I'm going home." Claudia replied, feeling warmth on the inside when she referred to Sirius' flat in that way.
"You shouldn't be alone on Christmas Day." Mrs Potter frowned slightly. "Surely, your visit can wait?" She added in Sirius' direction, as if she was reprimanding him.
"Oh, I don't mind." Claudia laughed. "I got a new book to read."
"You are one lucky boy to have such a tolerant girlfriend." Mrs Potter said, still wearing a slight frown.
"Too tolerant, if you ask me." Lily whispered so quietly that only Claudia could hear her. Claudia was so enraged by that remark that she did not even notice what Sirius replied to Mrs Potter.
"It's called giving people a break." Claudia hissed back at Lily. "You should try it sometimes."
Claudia said her goodbyes and apparated back home. She made herself a cup of tea and climbed into bed, where the Scamander memoirs were waiting for her. She was still on the section when Scamander fought in the muggle First World War. It was fascinating.
"First, it was the muggleborns who defied the Minister of Magic's decree that forbade the British wizarding community from getting involved in the war. For months, they watched their brothers and cousins die in the trenches, cold, wet and at the edge of reason. They could take it no longer. My friend George was the first to go to the war. He would hide among the debris behind the British trench and would cast protective charms in the face of incoming artillery. He remained undetected for weeks until the orders came to advance into no-man's-land. He sent me a letter that night. He thought that the advance was a death sentence. He was going to join the offensive and protect as many of the soldiers as he could. I have never heard from him again.
George's best man went to search for him, and when he saw the horrors at the Somme, he stayed to do his bid. His brothers and cousins followed suite. I joined them a month later. It was not bravery or a search for glory that made me go. I had no choice. I had to do what was right. I knew that I would be disgraced when I returned, that I would lose my job, and that my family would be ostracised. But I could not simply stand by. I had to do everything in my power to end the mindless slaughter quickly and save as many innocent lives as I could. 'Whatever it takes'. That became my mantra over the years. And it is a mantra that I stand by to this day."
Claudia stopped reading. She could hear the echo of her heart in the silence that surrounded her. That passage struck a chord. It was precisely how she felt. She did not feel brave trying to stop her father. It was her duty. And Scamander was right. She needed to do whatever it took.
For ten minutes, she sat in bed bolt upright, desperately trying to remember something she missed, something more she could do to make progress on the antidote. She thought of nothing and dived back into the book again.
When Claudia woke up, it was already bright outside. She was lying on her side, her arm still across the Scamander's memoirs that were open on the bed next to her. Sirius was sleeping on the other side of her. Cuddling her in pretty much the same way she was holding the book. That brought a smile to her face.
She pushed herself up to sitting. Sirius stirred and hugged her legs instead. Claudia picked up the book again, trying to remember exactly where she fell asleep. Then she found it. Scamander was back from the war, became the Head Auror and Grindewald was on the rise.
"The mid-1920s brought me some of the most beautiful and heart-warming moments of my life. I have fallen in love with Leta during our time working together at the Ministry of Magic. She was beautiful, smart, and driven. Any time the going got tough, she was there for me. She was the reason I was able to keep going. I do not recall even being happier than when she agreed to marry me. That was December in 1926."
Claudia paused and slid her hand into Sirius' hair. She was so happy to have him in her life. He understood her, he supported her, and he loved her. And Claudia loved him back, with all her heart.
"Then, one evening in Paris, everything went wrong. I led my aurors to capture Grindelwald at one of his rallies. Some joined him, some died. I was going to die too, if it was not for Leta. She distracted Grindewald. He asked her to join him, she refused, so he killed her. Right in front of me. It was as if someone ripped my heart out of my chest. It was the worst moment of my life and a day does not go by without me thinking about her, about what life we could have had together."
A tear drop appeared on the page, then another. Claudia wiped her eyes and put the book away. She could not bear to read any further. Instead, she lowered herself back into bed and gripped Sirius in her arms as tightly as she could.
"I love you." She whispered, incapable of imagining what it would be like to lose him. Watch him die right in front of her eyes.
Sirius purred and planted a kiss on her forehead.
Claudia lifted her face to kiss him back, but as she did, she noticed he was breathing slowly through slightly parted lips and his eyes were closed. He was still sleeping. She placed her head back against his chest and closed her eyes too.
If only they could stay like this for the rest of their lives.
Later that day, they were invited for dinner at one of Sirius' cousins. She was the only member of the family that Sirius still spoke to after the death of his uncle Alphard. Her name was Andromeda, and she was ostracised by the rest of the Blacks for marrying a muggle-born wizard that she met at Hogwarts. They were about seven or eight years older than Sirius and Claudia and had a four-year-old daughter.
It was Andromeda' husband, Ted, who opened the door to them.
"Sorry, Dromeda is just attempting to put Dora to sleep." He said. "She should be with us soon."
With those words, a little girl tumbled down the stairs.
"Cousin Sirius!" She squealed and jumped into his embrace.
"Get back up here, Nymphadora." Andromeda said sternly from the top of the landing. "It's an hour past your bedtime."
"No!" The girl yelled back. "Let me show you what I got for Christmas." She added, grabbed Sirius' hand, and dragged him towards the sitting room.
"I give up." Andromeda sighed and walked down to join them. "Nice to finally meet you, Claude." She added once she gave Claudia a hug. Sirius' nickname for her was clearly spreading.
They all sat down in the sitting room, while Ted's chicken finished roasting in the oven. Nymphadora finally tired herself running around and passed out on the couch. Andromeda picked her up and carried her to bed.
"We do love her." She chuckled when she got back. "But she can be hard work."
"She's brilliant." Sirius replied.
"Of course, you would say that." Andromeda laughed. "She is just like you at that age."
"Why am I not surprised?" Claudia pitched in.
"My commiserations. If you two have kids at some point." Andromeda replied.
There was an awkward silence. Claudia had never thought about it, so had no idea what to say. Luckily, Ted rescued her with the announcement that the chicken was ready.
They had dinner and talked. Soon, the conversation steered towards Ted's job in the legal department of the Ministry of Magic. And what it was like to be a muggle-born wizard.
"It's always been fine, being a muggle-born. No one really cared." Ted explained. "But the last few years, it's been different. People make remarks. Not that they are necessarily unpleasant about it. They just ask questions. And say how hard it must be. They pity me."
"I can't even imagine what that would be like." Claudia whispered.
"Of course, you can't." Ted sighed. "The famous Sacred Twenty-Eight and all."
"I'm sorry." Claudia mumbled, suddenly feeling very foolish.
"No. I'm sorry." Ted added quickly. "I didn't mean to imply anything. I know that not all purebloods are bigoted."
"Just that we will never understand what it's really like." Andromeda whispered. She managed a sad smile and reached out for her husband's hand.
"I'm not saying that your lives haven't been difficult." Ted went on. "But to be made to feel worthless and somehow dirty, just because who you are. "
"It's just so illogical." Claudia interrupted.
"That makes it worse." Ted said, nodding slightly. "You can't challenge it or argue against it." Ted reached out for the bottle of wine to fill up everyone's glass, but it was empty.
"I'll get another one." Andromeda whispered and stood up abruptly to leave for the pantry. Claudia followed her with her eyes. She could swear that Andromeda's shoulders were shaking and the movement she made with her hands was to wipe her eyes.
"It doesn't feel safe anymore." Ted whispered as his wife disappeared from view.
Claudia and Sirius exchanged a look. If Ted knew what was being tested at Hogwarts, he would feel even less safe.
They got home late and went straight to bed. Sirius was fast asleep, breathing softly and holding Claudia tightly in his arms. But she could not sleep. Everything she did this Christmas only reinforced her desire to take action now. Too much was at stake, and she could not continue to just do nothing.
Tomorrow, she would go to Knockturn Alley to buy some books on poisons. She would need to find something that simulated the symptoms, something non-lethal. Her mind kept racing, trying to find the best disguise, until she finally managed to fall asleep.
Now that Sirius had his own flat, it was a no-brainer to hold the New Year's party there. They had to keep the numbers small, but Claudia preferred that anyway. It was just the two of them, James and Lily, Alice and Frank, Remus, Peter, Marlene and Mary.
James and Sirius were clearly in their elements, and it did not take long for Remus and Peter to join in with the festivities. Frank was clearly re-living some of the experiences those four put him through when he was a prefect. He was either laughing nervously at their jokes or looked petrified. His body tensed up every time there was a loud noise.
Alice was engaged in an animated conversation with Lily and Mary. Marlene was sitting with them but kept looking uncomfortably around the flat. Claudia did not blame her. She would hate it too, were the tables turned.
It was about ten o'clock when Sirius finally relented and began playing the piano. Peter stood next to it and sang. He had a pleasant voice and, as far as Claudia could tell, was pretty decent. The same could not have been said about the others. They sounded like an unkindness of ravens.
Claudia's heart was not really in the celebrations, so she opened the sash window above their bed, climbed through it and sat on the roof. There was so much on her mind, she struggled to untangle it all. Staring at the night sky helped her think.
"Happy anniversary." Sirius whispered as he climbed through the window to join her.
"Not till after midnight." Claudia replied, barely looking at him.
"Pedant." Sirius chuckled. "Are you alright?" He added when she did not laugh with him or respond. "You've been weird since we got back from Andromeda's."
"I'm always weird." Claudia sighed.
"Weirder than usual." Sirius clarified.
"The war is everywhere I look." She finally uttered.
Sirius took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. That was no surprise. He did admit to smoking when it was hard to cope. Claudia took out one of the cigarettes from the packet and let him light it for her. She took a drag and exhaled the smoke high into the night sky. It felt strange.
"When I was picking up that auror application… There was a wall with pictures of aurors who died in service." Claudia whispered, still avoiding Sirius' eye contact. "Between that, what Ted said, and the horrors described in Scamander's memoirs…"
"You don't have to do it." Sirius replied. "No one is going to think you're a coward if you change your mind."
"I have to do it." She insisted. "I can't just stand by while my family tears our world apart."
Sirius did not say anything, just drew Claudia close to him and buried his face in her hair.
"It's not a game anymore." She continued. "We don't have the time to faff around with that stupid antidote. Lives are at stake."
"You want to make a poison, don't you?" Sirius said. Claudia finally looked at him but stayed silent. "You can talk to me about these things, Claude. Remember? No secrets."
"I don't want you to have to choose between James and me." She replied.
"James is a big boy." Sirius whispered. "He'll cope."
"Does it mean you agree with me?" She asked. "I thought because of the cursed fire…"
"We aren't going to win the war by playing nice." Sirius took his cigarette back. "I know that now."