The chapter title says it all. Enjoy. :)

More Than Blood Can Stand

Chapter 39 - Reunion

"Ladies, the mission is simple. Get from the ship to our quarters in the palace with no stops, and with no one recognizing Mai."

Mai rolled her eyes. Who treated a simple walk across town as a military operation? But the other Kyoshi Warriors were giving Suki their rapt attention, as if the outcome of the war depended on it.

Of course, it might. She was supposed to be dead.

But that didn't mean they had to go full covert ops in order to successfully keep her identity hidden. She had been a spy since she was thirteen. Going unnoticed wasn't usually as hard as people thought it would be.

"Mai?"

Suki's voice intruded into her thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked if you could give us descriptions of the people most likely to recognize you here."

The short answer was everyone, because she had stood up in front of practically the entire population of the North Pole on her wedding day. But saying that would make them even more paranoid. Best to stick to a shorter list.

"I mostly kept to myself. The most likely people to recognize me would be my mother, Princess Yue, and Zuko's guards Aki and Yuto." Also Lieutenant Jee and Master Pakku, but as they were members of the Order of the White Lotus, she wasn't going to bother mentioning them. "None of them will be looking for me, so long as we keep together as a group, I don't think it should be a problem."

"What do they look like?"

"If you're constantly searching the crowd for them, it will look more like you're hiding something and people will get suspicious. But no one will pay any attention if you walk casually, chatting with each other as if we have no worries in the world. If I'm standing in the middle of the group, I can be on the lookout for anyone who might spot me. If I see them, I'll let you know."

Suki nodded, as if really considering her suggestion - something Mai wasn't sure she would do if the situations were reversed.

"Mai knows better than we do," she said to the group. "Does anyone else have something to add before we disembark?"

There were several shakes of the head and a few murmured no's. Suki clapped her hands together. "Then let's move out."

As they left the room, the Kyoshi Warriors coalesced around her, forming a sort of human shield. It was still more conspicuous than Mai had wanted, but at least they were making an attempt at acting casually.

As she'd expected, they hadn't encountered anyone she knew well on the walk to the palace. The North Pole was a large city, and the odds of coming into contact with those few people was next to none.

The palace was another matter.

She recognized the servant who greeted them and ushered them up to their rooms, and several of the Fire Nation soldiers milling around in the halls. But she kept that information to herself, making sure there was no reason for the other girls to give her away.

They set their things down in the room, and waved goodbye to Mai as they set off for the throne room to meet Chief Arnook.

She waved back, and settled herself down on one of the couches with a knife in hand. Dull days always passed more quickly with target practice.

Thus began a series of boring days where she was stuck behind the doors of the room while everyone else went about their business.

She didn't mind. She had spent weeks of boredom in the Northern Water Tribe before, and there wasn't much to do here. Staying in her room was better than trying to make idle conversation and pretending to be a Kyoshi Warrior everywhere she went.

Plus, it had given her the opportunity to do something else. One morning while the others were at breakfast, she'd sat down to write a note, then peeked her head out of the door and flagged down a palace guard she was certain she had never seen before. She handed the note to him with instructions for where to send it, giving him a very convincing story about why she'd had to stay behind when the other warriors had left. He pocketed the note, bobbed his head in the weakest bow she'd ever seen, and promised to deliver it as soon as his shift changed.

That would have to be enough for now. She closed the door and flopped down on her bed, staring up at the icy ceiling with distaste. Mai could honestly say that she hadn't missed the North Pole. It wasn't as cold or dark as the last time she'd been here, which made sense now that it was summer, but it still seemed so unbearably bleak. The Earth Kingdom was dirty and monotone, but at least it had been warm.

She wished that Zuko were here, so he could warm her up.

No. She couldn't go down that line of thinking. With a sigh, she did the next best thing and wrapped the bedcovers around her. She leaned back against the pillows and tried to think warm thoughts.

She must have drifted to sleep, because the next thing she knew she was jolted awake by a knock at her door.

She padded over to the door, but hesitated with her hand on the knob. If the wrong person was on the other side of the door… But her hand finally closed over the handle and she pulled it open a crack.

Lieutenant Jee stood with his fist raised, ready to knock again. He looked exactly the same as she remembered him from the conversation they'd had the morning she'd left the North Pole on Appa: scruffy and crass and overconfident.

She opened the door wider and motioned for him to hurry inside, glancing down the corridor before closing the door behind him.

"It's safe," Jee said, making himself comfortable on her couch.

She swallowed her annoyance that he'd taken the only good seat in the room and leaned against the back of the door.

"Are you sure?"

He scoffed. "I've been doing this for longer than you've been alive."

She made a small non-committal noise and began twirling a knife around her fingers. "So tell me what I've missed?"

"A whole lot of Pakku being a pompous jerk," he snorted. "I wish you could have stayed and dealt with him instead of me."

She allowed a small smile. Pakku was famously difficult to deal with; she didn't envy Jee his position. "You would rather have traveled the world with Zuko?"

"Obviously. And speaking of—" He pulled a letter out of his pocket and waved it in front of her "— it looks like you managed it after all. He's on his way here with the Avatar."

Her stomach fluttered. "Is he?"

"Piandao says he defeated General Mung in an Agni Kai for control of the Capital, and he left the next morning for the North Pole."

Those were dangerous in the best of times, but in the midst of a civil war?

"He fought an Agni Kai?"

"Yes. Iroh would be furious that Piandao allowed it. Apparently he barely pulled out the win."

She fought back a shiver, trying to put that image out of her mind. He had won. That's what mattered. And he was on his way here.

No, she couldn't think about that now. She had to pull the conversation back into territory she could control.

"What are the plans for the battle?"

Jee rubbed a hand over his face. "The original plan was to put the firebenders at the front during the day while the waterbenders work to rebuild defensive structures, hopefully as quickly as they're destroyed. Send the non-benders in, hopefully under cover of the firebenders, for close combat. Then for the few hours of twilight, we'll press our advantage with the waterbenders and hope that's enough to beat them before the comet arrives. Though with all the new forces available, it's probably back to the drawing board. Either way, it won't be enough, and everyone knows it."

She nodded. That was about what she'd expected. Everyone knew the power of the comet. If the Air Nomad civilization had been completely obliterated, what could the Water Tribe accomplish with a new moon and a sun that wouldn't set?

"What are the higher-ups in the White Lotus planning?"

"Bumi and Iroh are on their way here, though what they can do against a comet-fueled army, I'm not sure."

Mai wasn't sure, either. "At least we'll have the Avatar."

Jee snorted. "He's just a kid. What is he going to do?"

She bristled. "As a member of the White Lotus, it is your duty to protect and support the Avatar."

"I'm going to do that," he protested. Then grumbled under his breath, "Even if I'll probably die in the process. I mean, what has the kid ever done to prove himself?"

Mai hesitated a moment, trying to think of something. The truth was that Aang had only been involved in minor skirmishes so far as she'd seen, and in most of them he could hardly have been called the winner. Often he'd only barely escaped.

Jee saw her hesitancy and laughed bitterly as he stood up and headed towards the door. "You see? It's a losing proposition. Don't get me wrong - it's worth fighting for, and our plan isn't half bad considering the circumstances. But don't get your hopes up, either." He turned the handle, but paused before opening the door. Looking her straight in the eye, he said in a low voice, "It's Ozai's battle to lose."

Not five minutes after Jee left, Suki stormed into the room, tossing her fans onto the bed with unnecessary force.

Mai raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Suki didn't seem to notice her.

"It doesn't matter," she muttered to herself, taking off her uniform with trembling fingers. "It didn't mean anything. You're the one who kissed him."

Mai's other eyebrow joined the first. This was exactly the kind of distraction she needed to get her mind off the impending battle. She started mentally cataloguing the possibilities. Who would someone like Suki - who was absolutely dedicated to her mission - have kissed during the lead-up to a major battle? She couldn't imagine it.

"When he gets here you'll just ignore him," Suki continued. "Act like nothing ever happened. He's probably forgotten—" She turned around to hang up the dress and finally noticed Mai. "Oh." Her cheeks flushed. "Hi."

"Hi."

"I, uh… I'm sorry about that. I just—" Her expression suddenly changed. Her eyes widened, and then narrowed. "You were here with the Avatar and his friends before. Weren't you?"

"I was."

"And you traveled with them."

"I did."

Her cheeks colored again, but she seemed to gather her courage and plowed on. "So you know Sokka…?"

Was that what this was about? Mai smothered a smirk. "Yes, I know him."

"Oh." She adjusted the dress again on the hanger, then turned back around. "Is he really going to marry Princess Yue?"

There was a hint of desperation in her voice, something tiny and vulnerable and sad, and Mai found that it wasn't funny anymore.

"He never directly said it to me, but my understanding was that there's a tentative agreement."

Suki's face fell, but a moment later she plastered on a weak smile. "Well. Good for him."

"It's good for the Water Tribes, too. Sokka's father is well respected in the Southern tribe, and of course Princess Yue is the daughter of the Northern chief, so a marriage between the two of them will hopefully bring more cooperation. It is a very wise political match."

Somehow this seemed to lift Suki's spirits. Her smile looked a bit less forced now, and she sat down at the vanity to wipe off her makeup.

"Yes," she nodded. "A very good political match."

Just as she said this, the door flew open and one of the other Kyoshi Warriors - really, Mai couldn't be bothered to remember all of their names when they all looked exactly the same under all that makeup - ran into the room breathless. First Jee, then Suki, and now whoever-this-was.

She sighed deep from her soul. "If I'd known this room would be the center of activity in the palace, I would have slept down the hall."

But the Kyoshi Warrior ignored her, grabbing Suki's hand excitedly.

"The Avatar's bison has just been spotted at the southern gate!"

Katara had one destination on her mind: the healing hut.

It had been weeks since Hinata's death, and not one of those days had gone by without tears or anger or regret at the way she'd foolishly tossed aside the training Yagoda had offered her. She intended to make up for that now - every spare moment until the Fire Navy arrived.

She paused as she passed the square where Master Pakku trained his students. There were several young men running through waterbending forms, most of whom she remembered thoroughly defeating during her weeks under his tutelage.

She wanted to shout at them that fighting wasn't all it was cracked up to be, that having the power to destroy a life was nothing compared with the power to save it. Especially when it was a friend. She wished they were all healers.

But, no, that wasn't right, either. The Northern Water Tribe would stand no chance against the coming invasion without combat-trained waterbenders. Fighting could potentially save as many Water Tribe lives as healing, if used effectively. She herself had rescued Aang and Sokka from the Yuyan archers. She had used her waterbending to erect walls of ice to stop arrows and blasts of fire.

Ideally, a well-rounded waterbender would have all those tools at their disposal. Her problem hadn't been that she had wanted to learn to fight. It had been that she had defined herself as a fighting waterbender and refused to learn anything else.

"Katara," Pakku called from across the square. His mouth was drawn down into a sneer. "Are you back for more lessons?"

Even as he said it she felt her defenses rising again, the urge to show him that she was every inch as skilled a fighter as the boys, the urge to prove to him that she was worthy to be his student, that she was better than a mere healer.

Instead, she lifted her chin and said with confidence, "No. I'm going to the healing hut."

His mocking laugh and snide comments followed her as she continued walking, her shoulders hunching up at the indignity of it all. It shouldn't be borne. She shouldn't have to take this.

Then she realized with a start: How had her attitude been any different from Master Pakku's? She had looked at Yagoda and the young girls she taught as inferior for going to their healing lessons instead of fighting for a chance to, well, fight, rather than seeing what they did as essential, part of what should be basic waterbending instruction for any child.

It shouldn't matter - didn't matter - what Master Pakku thought. There was nothing shameful about healing. But if she, a woman, didn't respect it herself, how could she expect him to respect it, either?

There were a half dozen girls sitting outside the healing hut, ranging in age from five or six up to nearly Katara's age. They had just been let out of their lessons and were playing games and chatting before heading home for lunch.

They looked happy, she realized with a start. Somehow she had always pictured them as miserable in their little tent, wishing all the while that they were in the square with the boys. And maybe they did wish that, sometimes.

But obviously not all the time. Her heart swelled with warmth at the knowledge.

Yagoda stood at the entrance of the hut, watching her students with a peaceful, fond smile. When she saw Katara, she stepped forward. "Katara, is it? What a surprise. Does Master Pakku have a message for me?"

"No," she said quickly, knowing that the sooner she spit it out, the sooner the embarrassment would pass. "I'm here to learn healing. If you'll take me as your student."

"I thought you preferred fighting?" Her gaze bore into Katara with the force of a tsunami.

"I did. But I was wrong. Healing is an important form of waterbending, maybe more important than fighting." She bowed. "Please forgive me for not realizing it sooner."

There was something like pity in Yagoda's eyes, something that made Katara think she understood the reason behind her change of heart. But if she did, she never mentioned it. Instead she smiled and beckoned her inside.

"I don't have any plans this afternoon. Why don't we begin now?"

Zuko was proud of himself. He'd sat through a two-hour war meeting with the Kyoshi Warrior Suki and General Saito without once losing his focus on what mattered at the moment: protecting the Northern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom soldiers who had come to defend it.

He may have cast glances in their direction on more than one occasion, and sure, he may have had the stray thought about Hinata or Mai that momentarily drew his attention away from the meeting. But he'd immediately brought himself back to the task at hand and forced himself to not only listen, but participate in the planning.

Now Chief Arnook was pushing himself out of his seat and inviting them all to dinner in the palace banquet hall that night, and Zuko's mind shifted focus like lightning.

Saito was on the opposite side of the table from Suki. He wanted to speak to them both, but to his dismay, they turned in opposite directions and headed out separate doors.

So he had to choose: Saito or Suki? Hinata or Mai?

Without giving himself time to think, he rushed out the door to his left, jogging slightly to catch up.

"General Saito!"

He stopped in the middle of the hall and turned around torturously slowly, his shoulders hunched. He brought his hands together in a bow, and then refused to meet his gaze.

"Fire Lord Zuko. Is there something you needed?"

Zuko gulped. He had planned out what to say to Mai, to the last word and gesture, but he had never considered what he might say to Hinata's father. That had been too painful to contemplate, and certainly nothing he would have discussed with anyone else.

"Hinata," he said at last. "He—"

"I am aware of what happened to my son."

There was a slight catch in Saito's voice, a terrible, heartbreaking undercurrent to his tone, and Zuko immediately felt his throat constrict and his eyes smart.

No. He couldn't do this here, in the hallway of a foreign palace. This wasn't his tent in the Earth Kingdom wilderness. He had to keep it together.

Forcing himself to put his feelings aside, he grit his teeth and took a step closer so he could speak without being overheard.

"He told me to tell you that he loves you. And that he did his duty."

When Saito didn't reply, he pressed on. "I want to let you know that if there is anything I can do for you, anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask. Hinata was more than a guard to me. He was my friend. I would have given anything—"

He cut off there, his throat burning from holding back the tears, his chest constricted to the point of pain. If he continued speaking, he knew he would make a scene.

"Thank you for your words, my lord," Saito said at last. Their eyes met, and Zuko saw his own pain reflected, even amplified, on Saito's face. He bowed again. "Now if you will excuse me, I have an army to command."

He watched Saito make his way down the corridor, the loss of Hinata hitting him in a way that it hadn't before. He had taken a man's son away from him. Nothing he could ever do would fix that.

But he could fix things with Mai. Potentially.

He wasn't going to hold out any real hope. But in the same way he'd felt compelled to speak with Saito, he felt it was his duty to at least attempt to apologize to Mai.

He stopped a Water Tribe citizen in the hallway and asked if they knew where the Kyoshi Warriors were staying. They gave him directions, and he set out with no little amount of trepidation.

A few minutes later he stood in front of the door, his hand hovering over the knocker, unsure if he could actually go through with it.

"Don't be a coward," he said to himself. "Sacrifice is the heart of repentance. Prove you mean it."

He blew out a long breath and knocked.

A Kyoshi Warrior he didn't recognize opened the door, her eyes widening under the heavy makeup at the sight of him.

"Hi," he said. "I'm here to see—"

But she apparently knew who he meant, because she stepped aside and pointed across the room, where a Kyoshi Warrior with shiny, jet-black hair was lounging on a couch in the corner, looking bored out of her mind.

Mai.

They stared at each other from across the distance. Her face was unreadable, and yet at the same time radiating the fact that she wouldn't be the first to speak.

He cleared his throat, wishing he had some water for his dry mouth, and tried to recall the speech he'd planned. He opened his mouth… and panicked.

"Hello, Zuko here," he said with a wave.

"Really?" Mai said, folding her arms and rolling her eyes. "I hadn't noticed."

"No, wait!" He took a step forward. "I didn't mean to say that. That's not what I practiced."

"Practiced?"

He heard tittering sounds around him as the half dozen other girls in the room had a laugh at his expense, and he felt his temper rise with his humiliation. Taking a few steps closer, he muttered under his breath, "Can we take this somewhere private, please?"

With a great sigh of protest, she heaved herself up from the couch and followed him, making sure to give him a wide berth, into the room across the hall.

He shut the door behind her and - to delay the inevitable - glanced about him. It was the same layout as the room they had been in together their wedding night, when he'd been so overcome with grief for his uncle that he had cried himself to sleep on the couch.

The memories felt like an oppressive hand squeezing around him, and following on the heels of his talk with Saito, he found it hard to breathe. He glanced at Mai and was surprised to see that she had that same stiff, frightened, defiant look that she'd had on their wedding night. Maybe he wasn't the only one who was reliving the memories.

There was so much hurt between them, justified or not. And suddenly it didn't matter much to him what the words were to the speech he'd practiced night after night. He knew what he wanted to say.

"What were you thinking, that night?"

She was silent for so long he thought she wasn't going to answer at all.

"What do you want me to say, Zuko?" she said at last. "I was afraid. Everything was moving so quickly. The day before that, I had received Azula's order to assassinate you. Obviously I was not going to do that, but I knew that not doing it might risk my life. Then the news came about Fire Lord Iroh. I knew that it was not true, and I knew that I was doing something terrible by hiding it from you, but those were my orders. And I knew that if I kept the secret from you, one day you would find out, and there was no telling how you would react."

"I wouldn't have —"

"No," she interrupted sharply, "you would have tied me to a tree and allowed Azula to do it for you."

Hearing his words thrown back at him was painful. Had he really sounded that cruel?

"So I was afraid," she continued in a softer tone. "And that was all before I found out we would be married." She walked over to the window, her body half turned away from him. "That made everything worse. I was afraid of being married, afraid you would treat me like all the rumors said women were treated behind the palace walls. And when you didn't… well, I knew it made my lie even more terrible, especially after seeing how much pain you were in."

She turned her head to look at him. "For what it's worth, I am sorry I lied to you."

"I probably would have done the same thing, if the situation were reversed," he admitted, walking over to her and taking one of her hands in his.

She drew in a breath through her teeth, pulled the hand out of his grasp, and took a small step back from him.

Okay, she wasn't receptive to that right now. He took a step back, too.

"I'm sorry, too. The last six months have been the most trying time of my entire life. There has been more pain than I ever want to relive again, and the truth is it still hurts that you lied to me." She opened her mouth to respond, but he plowed on. "You were the one bright spot left in my life, and to have that come crashing down, too… it was the last straw.

"But that doesn't excuse the way I acted towards you. I was worse to you than you were to me. The truth is that even in your lies, you were in some sense fulfilling your duty. What sort of honor was there in the way I treated you?"

"We had just come from Hinata's funeral pyre. It was terrible timing, of course you were upset."

"Don't try to excuse it," he snapped. "It was wrong," he continued in a much calmer voice. "You tried to tell me the truth, and I lashed out at you. I can't take it back. But I can promise to do better in the future."

If he'd expected some sort of dramatic response to his apology, with her embracing him as they kissed, preferably for the rest of the night, he was disappointed. She stood still, her back ramrod straight and her face impassive, for a good twenty seconds before she spoke.

"I forgive you."

He released a breath. "Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?"

The corner of her mouth twitched up slightly. "No. I don't hate you."

Emboldened by the hint of her smile, he reached for her hand again. She allowed him to lace his fingers through hers briefly before she pulled away.

Somehow the rejection didn't sting like it had before. There was too much pain to be overcome in one day, but they were making progress. They would recover from this.

He moved his hand to the windowsill and gave her a shy smile of his own. "I don't hate you, either," he said tentatively.

"That's a relief. I would hate to die believing you hated me."

Her words were flippant, but he felt his insides freeze up all the same. He'd had enough of death the last six months. When he believed Uncle had died, he had thought he wouldn't survive that. And when Hinata had died, he'd nearly come apart. If Mai died, too, after Hinata sacrificed himself for her… No. How could she joke about something so serious?

His reaction was swift and angry. "Don't say that. You're not going to die!"

"Zuko, really. What do you think our odds are?"

"Then I'll get you out of here. You and your mother and brother can go to the Earth Kingdom, live in some remote town, and—"

"And what? Wait there for Azula to find me? Mourn you the rest of my days?" She laughed harshly and stepped away from the window. "I'm here because it is my duty," she said, staring up at a painting on the wall. "I swore to protect you and Aang with my life. And that's what I intend to do."

"You will do no such thing. Aang and I aren't worth your life."

"It's not about my life," she said softly. "It's about yours. And it's about my honor."

He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, shaking her slightly. "What good is your honor if you're dead?"

She looked up into his face and, trembling, reached a hand up to trace the edge of his scar. "What good is living if you lose everyone you love?"

That was a sentiment he could relate to. The anger left him, and he let out a breath and dipped his forehead down to brush against hers. "Which is why you have to live. I need you."

She closed her eyes, and when she opened them she broke out of his hold and took a step back.

"I don't want us to fight anymore."

He nodded. "Me, either." He reached out for her again, but she stopped him by poking him in the chest with her finger.

"This doesn't mean everything is okay between us. We're going to deal with this later, assuming there is a later."

"Okay," he said, unsure of what she was getting at.

"But until the comet comes..." She hesitated, then ran her hand up his chest, finally settling on the back of his neck. "Zuko. I don't want to sleep with the Kyoshi Warriors tonight."

He gulped.

"I think I can arrange that."