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Chapter Thirty-Nine

Equivalent Exchange

I pushed from the wall, my chest constricting as I stumbled into the shallow crater. I slid down, falling to my knees at his head. I turned Elias over with a bit of difficulty, ignoring each stab of pain in my side. I couldn't care. I heaved a breath as I managed to roll him to his back, grateful to see the small rise of his chest. He was alive, but his arm was missing. I stared at it with my breath caught somewhere in my chest. This wasn't happening. It was a bad dream. My friends weren't gone, and someone who I thought of once as my enemy wasn't about to bleed to death right before my eyes. No, I must still be unconscious— maybe still in the sewer. That had to be it. But I could feel the blood pooling around me, could smell its metallic tinge, and I could feel the wave of nausea that I barely managed to suppress.

"Marina," Elias breathed, coughing up a bit of blood. I shook my head, tearing off my sling.

"Don't talk," I said, my voice wavering. His arm had been cleanly cut, right to the shoulder, and the sight of it was the ghastliest thing I'd ever seen, and I had a hole in my stomach just a few hours ago. Time wasn't real in this dream world, I decided. Still, dream or not, I had to do something. I began wrapping the white cloth around his arm, but I couldn't tie it. Doing so required two hands. "Elias, you have to h-help me. Help me t-tie this." He looked up at me, his red eye a burning ruby, and shook his head.

"I didn't see it," he muttered, and I grabbed his arm. I moved it over to the cloth, now saturated, and tried to urge him to help, to just clasp his fingers around it so I could knot it off.

"Just hold this—"

He caught my wrist, stopping me.

"I didn't see it," he repeated, and I huffed.

"I heard you the first time!" I exclaimed, my voice strained.

"I lost my eye bringing you here," he said. What the hell was he going on about? We didn't have time to be doing anything other than compressing his shoulder.

"So what?"

"So, I didn't see it. It's my karma for what I've done."

"What are you saying right now?" I asked with an incredulous laugh.

"Consider it fate," he said, coughing.

"No, it's not fate. It's my fault— I dragged you into this," I said as I shook my head, but he squeezed down on my wrist.

"And I dragged you here searching for petty revenge. Marina, I have to tell you— I can't send you home," he breathed out. I blinked at him as his grip on my wrist loosened.

"You…" I trailed off, my mouth not letting me continue.

He released me quietly and let his hand rest on his chest. My hand fell back to my side as I slumped further to the ground. My jaw went slack as my lungs deflated, and I forgot what breathing was. He couldn't send me home. He couldn't... I had never considered after all this time not going back. I had been here so long, and never once did I think it wouldn't happen eventually. That's what I had prepared for. I was supposed to go home and return to my old life and hope that I could move on from my time here— hope that the people I had come to cherish could too. Elias was supposed to be able to move on. I strangely wanted that for him. But – if what he was saying was true – I couldn't go back, and I wouldn't move on, and Elias, he…

"Did you hear me?" Elias looked at me expectantly, but what he was expecting, I wasn't sure.

There was a strange chatter rising in my brain, a million voices all talking over one another, incoherent and yet incredibly clear all at once. Then suddenly – as I remembered I needed air – there was complete silence. It was a stillness I barely comprehended. Something fell down my face, blurring my vision. I shook my head vehemently as I applied pressure to his wound. He hissed in pain, his face growing paler by the moment. I took rapid breaths, missing the feel of air saturating my lungs, and I could hear myself breathe, and I could hear Elias groan. I looked up to see Al, who was sat on the ground, his back to us facing Gluttony.

"Al! Al, help me! Alphonse!" I called and called for him, but he didn't turn. He didn't acknowledge me at all. Gluttony looked at me curiously with a finger in his mouth, but he didn't move either.

"Did you hear me, Marina?"

"I h-heard you," I said, tears streaming down my face freely now.

"Good," he said softly. A lump rose to my throat as I looked around, trying to find some solution. There had to be something. "Tell Nessa I'm sorry."

"Tell her yourself!" I shrieked, feeling the lump getting larger. I pressed harder on the wound.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Shut up! Don't say anything else," I cried frantically, more tears streaming down my face. "I'm the one that's sorry. I'm so sorry, Elias. Just— s-stay awake. Okay?"

"I'm tired," he murmured, taking a long, slow breath before his eye fluttered shut. His body grew much too cold, and the cloth slipped from my fingers as I removed my shaking hand.

"Elias? Elias, please don't…" I begged, tugging at his shirt. "What do I do? Damnit!"

I slammed my hand against the ground. Something splashed around me, and I looked down, realizing just how much blood there was. There was so much blood; I was practically swimming in it. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I should have done differently, but I knew the cost was far too steep to not realize that I had messed up. My hands were stained with the consequences. A sob caught in my throat before I wailed, my tears plinking into the pool around us. I couldn't stop crying. I cried, gently brushing a shaking hand over his face, pushing away the strands of white hair from his eyes. I calmed down enough to notice the look of ease on his face, and my heart clenched, nearly sending me over the edge. I managed to pull myself from the cliff and sat sobbing quietly, watching the subtle ripples that my tears created as they fell into the pool edged around us. I wiped my face, my eyes puffy and strained. I looked at the wetness on the back of my hand, and then at the red stain of my palm. As I did, some spark in my brain caught light and set off like a firework. I looked back to Elias. He was still breathing, shallowly. He was still alive.

I clapped my hands together, sending a wave of pain up my shoulder. I ignored it, giving the transmutation my full, undivided attention, touching my hand to the pool of crimson. My hand shook, and tears still threatened to fall from my face, but I couldn't concentrate on anything else as the liquid gathered at my palm. I had no idea if it would work or how I'd stop it from flowing back out, but I was more than desperate. I pulled the molecules of iron and water and protein and salt and oxygen and anything else I could discern as once having been a part of Elias from the ground and concentrated on replacing them into his body. I hovered over his shoulder, and I watched in slight amazement and horror as blue sparks encapsulated red and flowed into his open wound. I nearly gagged, watching the liquid seep back into him.

I could feel sweat bead at the back of my neck, my hair clinging to it as I hunched over him. I was nearing the four-minute mark. Most of the liquid had been returned to his body, but there was still quite a bit of it left to go. My side was splitting, and my other hand was completely useless, but none of it mattered as the color returned to Elias's face. I almost lost the transmutation when I noticed the flush of his cheek, but it held, and I tried not to get too excited. I still wasn't sure what came next. His brow furrowed before he attempted to open his eye, and as he opened it slowly, I lost my hold on the transmutation at four minutes and thirty-two seconds. I nearly collapsed to the ground, but I caught myself on my arm, breathing erratically. He blinked at me a few times, his mouth hanging open.

"What did…" he trailed off, looking to his arm. Blood was already starting to seep out from the wound again as his hand hovered over it. He craned his neck to look at me. "What did you do?"

"I'm honestly not sure," I answered, my mind swimming. My vision had doubled, and I slammed my eyes shut, trying to suppress the bile rising in my throat.

"You read that in the journal, didn't you?" he asked angrily. I furrowed my brow, chancing a look at him.

"What? No, I just—"

"Why would you do that?" he snapped. I sucked in a sharp breath, the bile settling back in my stomach.

"Because I don't want anyone else to die!" I retorted, and he looked at me with surprise. I wrapped the cloth around his arm again. My voice softened. "Please. I didn't know what else to do."

He took the cloth reluctantly, allowing me to knot it off. It wasn't the best job, but at least the blood was staying in him rather than coming out. I managed to stand with a groan, my body heavier than I remember it being. I crouched a bit, extending my hand for Elias to take. We took it slow, getting him to sit upright and taking a breather before we got him to stand. He hobbled into the wall of the carved ground, panting in pain. I climbed out first, slipping once or twice before I made it to solid ground. I heaved him up, and we both collapsed over the grass, breathing fitfully.

I spotted Al over my chest, rapidly rising and falling, and realized he still hadn't moved. I sat myself up, my stomach tied in a tight knot examining the altered terrain we had just emerged from. Ed and Ling were gone. Gluttony had swallowed them. And I still wasn't sure if this had happened in the original story or if it was a side-effect of my interference. Better yet, was what was done reversible? I looked over to Elias, panting heavily as he rested, and I frowned. One thing was for sure. That was my fault entirely. The knot twisted tighter as I rose and stumbled over to Al. He looked up to me as I rounded in front of him.

"Brother's gone," he said shakily. He looked back to Gluttony. "He swallowed him."

"I know," I said quietly. I clenched my hand into a fist, my heart aching. "I'm worried too." Al grabbed at my pant leg.

"Tell me it's going to be okay," Al said meekly. "You know what happens, right?"

I swallowed hard. I remembered the awful feeling I had right before it had happened; it reminded me of the feeling I had right before I discovered Tucker's plans, but this time, I didn't have vivid premonition memories. There was just the feeling and no resolution. I wasn't even sure what came next. Why couldn't I remember? I knew it had been a long time since I had seen the series ending, and I knew we had passed what I had refreshed myself with, so some bits were fuzzy before the conclusion of their story, but I felt like this was something I should have remembered. Yet, as hard as I tried, I couldn't remember this happening.

"Honestly, Al, I'm having a hard time remembering," I admitted quietly. "I'm sorry." I couldn't make pompous statements that I couldn't back up. I had caused enough harm as it was.

"Tell me that it's going to be okay anyway," he whispered, clutching the fabric harder.

"Al…" I trailed off at a loss. Even without a face to express with, I could tell he was beyond distraught as he struggled to find clarity in our situation. I wanted the same thing, and I felt guilty for being unable to deliver it. I bit down on my bottom lip, shaking with the pressure of the uncertainty I was feeling.

"What do I do?" Gluttony asked, seeming worried as he pressed his index fingers together.

"I'm not sure," Al said quietly. I noticed a small creature had perched on his shoulder, and I blinked at it a moment. A panda?

"What do I do?" Gluttony repeated, diverting my attention. "I'm scared. I don't want Father to be mad at me." I stiffened as Al gasped and looked up at Gluttony.

"What did you say? You have a father?"

"Uh-huh," Gluttony nodded.

"Is he the one who made the Homunculi?" Al asked.

"Uh-huh, Father made us," Gluttony confirmed. Al reached out and grasped at Gluttony's stomach a moment before retracting his hand and staring at it. Gluttony stepped back a pace, seeming a little embarrassed by the action.

"He's the one who wants to meet me, right?" I asked tentatively, and Gluttony nodded. Al and I exchanged a look, and it seemed like we were on the same page as Al stood.

"Would you take us to your Father, Gluttony?" Al asked, the determination returning to his tone.

"I guess so. He'll be happy since you're human sacrifices," Gluttony said, looking between us with an unsettling enthusiasm.

"Oh, sure, right," Al said a little worriedly.

"But first," I said as my eyes fell to Elias, who seemed a little more at ease than before, but I knew he had to be seen as soon as possible. Al followed my gaze and looked to Elias for the first time since Gluttony's stomach had closed.

"Oh no, Elias! Your— your arm," Al gasped out.

"Yeah, that thing sucked it up," Elias spat, his eyes ablaze as his gaze fell upon Gluttony, who, at the remark, skirted away and hid behind a tree suckling on his thumb.

"We've got to get him to the hospital," I said, staggering over. I felt a bit woozy, but I looked off to the trees before clapping my hands together, my arm nearly ready to fall off. I tapped my hand to the ground as blue sparks flew up and through two tall trees that had been gutted by the gust of wind. They slowly but surely took the form of a small box-cart, just big enough to fit maybe two people or one Elias.

"No hospital," Elias gasped out, and I frowned.

"Why not?" I asked, rising.

"You forget— I'm Ishvalen," he croaked, sitting up.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked. I shuffled over to him to help him stand alongside Al. We managed to get him to his feet, and Al laid him into the cart. He exhaled sharply as he settled in.

"Amestrian hospitals do not serve my people," he growled. "Ever since the war, there has been a 'No Ishvalen' policy put into place."

"A 'No Ishvalen' policy?" I muttered, confused.

"The Order of Ishval," Al noted quietly, and I looked to him questioningly. I hadn't heard of such a thing. No one had ever mentioned it.

"Yes, that's what it is governmentally named— but our people know what it really is," Elias glowered. Al looked somewhat guilty, twirling his thumbs in the way he did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. I placed my hand over him, hoping the look I gave him was reassuring as I squeezed his gauntlet.

"What is this Order of Ishval?" I asked.

"It's the continuation of Order 3066— the order that wiped Ishval off the map at the hands of State Alchemists. Its sole purpose is to finish what the war started," he breathed out sharply. Al hung his armored head.

"You can't mean…" I trailed off.

"I do."

"But that's not right!" I exclaimed, gripping the side of the meager cart.

"Right or not, it exists," Elias sighed, breathing raggedly. I noticed a cold sweat had broken out over his forehead, and my frown deepened. "We might be citizens of Amestris, but we're living on borrowed time, on stolen land. We're not welcome. And if we're not careful, well— let's just say the military has turned a blind eye to violence against us far too many times to count. Our camps are the only thing that stands between us and them."

I stumbled back a bit. I had noticed I hadn't seen an Ishvalen milling about outside of the camp Elias lived in other than Scar or Elias himself since my arrival, but I didn't even think twice about it. I hadn't realized it was for their safety. I had no idea the strife of the Ishvalen people had run even deeper than what I had first imagined— and how easily blind I had been to it. To endure such loss from the war and still be at the mercy of the very power of the state out to finish you off was a reality I couldn't even begin to fathom. As if the Ishvalen War hadn't been enough to endure— it was all wrong. It reminded me of the civilizations I had studied in school, of their war-torn nations swallowed by the jaws of colonialism or some greater power. But for what? For what reason could someone rationalize and accept such injustice? It made me sick to my stomach and sicker when I felt a strange understanding of what had driven Elias to do what he'd done— when I remembered what role my father played in all of this, his contribution to the people of Ishval's strife. In Elias's shoes, could I really believe I wouldn't have done the same? I looked to him, his forehead beaded with sweat and his breath catching on itself. I wasn't sure. I shook my head, remembering the current state of our predicament.

"Then what do we do?" I asked, thinking to Nessa. She might know what to do, though I shuddered at the thought of taking him to her like this. I looked off in the distance, the city lights of Central dim over the horizon. As things were now, taking him to Central, even if it was straight to Nessa, posed a few issues. It was far enough that I wondered bleakly if Elias would be able to hang on for that long.

"There's a sister camp a few miles from here," he breathed, exhaling sharply. "If we could get there…"

He didn't need to say anything else as I looked to Al, who nodded. There was a bar at the front of the cart, and Al took the initiative to pilot. I walked up to the Homunculus that eyed me warily.

"We have to help our friend, but will you take us to Father after?" I asked.

He nodded, and I managed a smile, hoping it didn't show how nervous I actually was. There were still so many unknowns, and I had a feeling I wasn't going to shake my unease until each one was solved. I leaned against the cart, hanging onto the side as we started in the direction Elias guided us in. We walked quite some distance when Elias spoke up.

"We're about a mile away now," Elias said shakily, and I looked to Gluttony.

"Stay here and wait for us," I commanded more than asked, my eye trained on him. The last thing we needed to do was lead a hungry Homunculus to an already vulnerable group of people. The Homunculus nodded in understanding, plopping down on a spot of grass quite obediently. I turned to Al, who had been quiet most of the trip with the strangely small panda on his shoulder. "As soon as we get Elias some medical attention, we're going to find out what happened to Ed and Ling."

Al nodded, and my gaze fell to the ground. I couldn't even imagine the grief Al was most certainly feeling. He just lost his brother, his only connection to his family, and I could tell he was upset by it. The two were an inseparable pair, not meant to be torn apart. I was worried too. Were Ed and Ling okay? I shook my head. They had to be. I didn't want to think of a scenario in which they weren't.

"Marina," Al said, making me jump.

"Yeah?"

"When we get to the camp, I want you to stay behind. I'm going to meet this Father person alone," he said. I blinked a few times, not used to the commanding and assured tone he had used. I thought a moment.

"Yeah," I eventually agreed quietly. I wasn't in a position to argue, especially if I had caused this all to happen. "Just… come back safe."

"Right," he said. I looked over to Elias, who was staring directly at me, harshly so. I gave him a questioning look, but he just turned his gaze up to the night sky.

We arrived at a decently sized settlement surrounded by a wooden gate like the one back in Central had been. Though, back in Central, the gate wasn't watched like it was here. I had walked in and out freely there, with a military officer at that. But here, there were sentries— kids, about our age, maybe a bit older, with rifles in their grasp that looked too large in immature hands. Their faces were lit by a soft, warm light that came from within the walls and filtered out into the night sky. They raised their guns to us as we approached, and Al side-stepped in front of me before Elias spoke up, calling to them in a language I didn't understand. It didn't seem that Al had either. They jabbed their guns at Al and me, shouting something, but Elias waved them off. They eyed us skeptically before dropping their weapons to let us through.

As the gate opened, a woman greeted us and immediately rushed to escort us to the medical tent. She kept a quick pace as we entered the camp, and I was surprised to see how bustling it was; children ran through what seemed to be a market street just ahead, and people sat together and ate as a community, just outside the tents and small dirt homes that lined the path. It smelled heavily of rich spices, and for a moment, I thought of how hungry I was. Most people looked up from their bowls curiously as we passed.

We eventually made it to a larger tent further to the back of the settlement, and we got Elias inside after a bit of difficulty getting him out of the cart. He was getting weaker by the minute, his head bobbing to the side as Al and I supported his weight, following the woman into the tent. I noticed that what we had entered wasn't a waiting room like I had thought it would be; no, it was more like the main of the medical tent, with beds nearly touching pressed tightly to the fabric of the wall, filled with people. Ishvalens. Each and every one. Some were old, some were middle-aged, and some couldn't have been more than four years old. They were all bandaged and bruised, and most were missing pieces of themselves. Familiar red curls greeted us, and I stopped stone-cold, feeling the blood drain from my face. I hadn't realized she'd be here. Ivey turned, dressed in plain blue scrubs and with a clipboard in her hand. As her eyes fell on us, they widened to saucers before the clipboard clattered to the floor.

"Elias?" she choked out, taking a wary step forward.

I wanted to shrink. I wanted to melt. I wanted to wake up from this stupidly vivid nightmare already. Elias felt oddly heavier than he had a moment ago, and my knees nearly buckled from the sudden weight change. I managed to stay upright, but as I looked at Elias, his eye had closed, and his body was completely limp.

"Elias!" I cried as Al tried to pull him up, struggling with one hand. I looked up to Ivey, panic-stricken. Ivey took quick command of the room, and in an instant, was shouting out orders.

"I need a gurney and a start on an IV, and—"

The rest of her commands were lost to the bustling that began around us. She tied her hair up in a flourish as someone peeled Elias's limp arm from around my shoulder. I moved with them as they hoisted him up.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as they placed him on a gurney. I gripped his arm, felt the soft pulse in his wrist. Eventually, Al had pulled me away, and they took Elias further back into the tent, disappearing around a corner. Ivey gave me a disappointed glare as she, too, disappeared into the back. My shoulders slumped as the guilty pit in my stomach grew that much wider. I clenched my fist, feeling tears spring to my eyes. I covered my mouth, trying to quiet the sobs escaping my lips. "I'm so sorry."

I held a cold cup of coffee. I didn't have to taste it to know it'd be cold and bitter. Someone had absently handed it to me hours ago with a sympathetic smile after checking on my stitches and getting me a new sling and getting some food in me I barely tasted, but I couldn't bring myself to drink it. I didn't deserve their kindness. Besides, I was sure if I had, the buzzing in my brain would only be that much louder. At some point, Al had gone to meet Gluttony to see Father. I was worried. I didn't feel right sending him alone, but I knew I couldn't go after him. I couldn't bear it if more tragedy struck because of my stubborn impulsiveness. Worse, I still couldn't remember what happened, what would happen. I had spent the seemingly endless time sitting there alone wracking my brain, begging it to cooperate with me, but I came up with nothing. Ed and Ling were still gone, Al was walking right into the enemy's base all alone, Elias was in surgery fighting for his life, and I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, gripping a mug of cold coffee until my knuckles were white.

I should have just listened to Ed. I should have gone with Elias. I wasn't sure if Ed or Ling would have still gotten swallowed, but Elias would have his arm right now. He lost it because of what I did. Why did he have to run after me? Why did he have to wake up? I should have hit him harder. I almost chuckled over the irony, remembering one of the first things he had ever said to me. So much had happened since then it was strange to think I was ever scared of him. At the time, I had been nearly consumed by my fear of him. But now, although I wouldn't go so far as to say that I could forgive him for what he's done, I could at least understand him. I could empathize with him enough to know that he didn't deserve to have his arm taken— that he didn't deserve to die. I got lucky that my alchemy had worked. I furrowed my brow. What was it that he had said about the journal? I had nearly forgotten. He almost seemed to have recognized what I did, even though I hadn't, and I was the one who performed the transmutation. Had my father done something like that before? If he had, I wouldn't know. I haven't touched the journal in a good while, and there was still plenty of uncharted passages. I looked up to the opening of the tent, watched the flaps float on the breeze. I sighed. How much time had actually passed? I looked up and around, searching for a clock, but there was nothing.

I was about to see if I could find a worker to tell me the time when Ivey emerged from the corner, drenched in blood. I stood, nearly spilling the contents of the mug before setting it down on the chair I left vacant. I couldn't read her at all as she disrobed from the bloody cover she wore over her scrubs. The look on her face was so drastically different from the kind smile and cheerful attitude I had first met that it shook me. She produced a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, placing a stick behind her ear before replacing them. She nodded her head to the door, and I followed her wordlessly into the night. She led me away from the tent, and I noticed a quiet had taken hold of the camp. The street was empty, and the lights that had illuminated the passage had been snuffed out. She ran a hand through her hair, releasing it from the bun she had fastened, allowing her hair to cascade around her face. She leaned her back against a tree, flicking her lighter open. The tiny fire illuminated her face and made it seem like her red locks were molten lava. She took a deep inhale and held her breath a moment before blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. She looked at me, her eyes ablaze.

"He's alive," she said eventually, and I nearly collapsed from relief, releasing a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. She took another drag of her cigarette, and I inhaled some of the smoke. I coughed, and she eyed me up and down. "What happened." It wasn't a question. She wasn't looking to give me any wiggle room. I fidgeted.

"It's kind of—"

"I don't care how secretive or how long of a story it is. Start talking," Ivey said, using the same tone I had once heard her use on Elias. I gulped but decided telling her was the best option. I explained how he had gotten mixed up in the mess I made and did my best to explain that the Homunculi were the bad people I had mentioned when I handed off the stone to them. She was quiet as she listened, and as I finished, she flicked her cigarette to the ground and stomped it out beneath her boot. Ivey sighed, exhaling the last of the smoke, and it encircled her head like a wreath.

"So he told you then?" she asked. I nodded, and she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Alright. Is that all I should know?"

"I'm pretty sure," I said, pulling at the fabric of my sling. "I'm really sorry." She glanced down at me.

"I know, kid," she said, standing up from the tree. "I know." I could feel my shoulders shaking, my already raw eyes recognizing the sting of tears bubbling at the surface.

"I really messed up," I hiccupped. She stepped toward me, into the moonlight, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, you did. You ran into danger with no plan, with serious injuries; only an idiot or a child would do that. I'd say you're a bit of both," Ivey said, meeting my eye. Her words cut clear to the chase, as unwavering as her gaze. I couldn't hold eye contact, so I looked at the dirty tips of my sneakers instead. A few tears fell and stained the ground.

"It's my fault he doesn't have an arm. He could have... he almost died," I cried, tears cascading down my cheeks. I swiped at my face furiously.

"Look, I'm not going to pretend I'm not angry. Trust me, I am. But I'm also glad you brought him to me when you did. He didn't die because you brought him here. I'm glad you both came back," Ivey said, and she wrapped me in a hug, a stark contrast from the bluntness of her words. "Things could have been much worse, but I think letting you stew on that a bit back there did you good. You recognize what you did was wrong, and you're remorseful. So tell me, what could you have done differently?"

"If I had just taken a moment to actually think, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess," I said.

"But you didn't, and that's why we're here now. You're facing the very real consequences of that. Allow yourself to feel it— remember how awful it is, so it never has to happen again. You're a kid, Marina. You're going to make mistakes, and some are going to be much worse than others. But that's how you learn and grow," she said. I felt myself beginning to break down, and she let me, stroking my hair soothingly. She tapped the top of my head a few times with her fist. "Some of us are a little thick-skulled and have to go through things before we can progress as individuals. Sometimes things have to be taken for something to be gained."

"Equivalent exchange? Really?" I mumbled to myself, but it didn't seem like Ivey had heard me.

I should have expected equivalent exchange to be a part of my lecture from Ed, not from Ivey. But I couldn't help but think that there was nothing equivalent about what had happened. I sucked in a sharp breath. Equivalent exchange. When I had first retained my memories, I worried about equivalent exchange in Rush Valley— that the baby's life would be taken in exchange for the life I had saved. I had rescued Hughes, and he was alive, but the nurse that helped me do so was… no, it couldn't be. It had to be a coincidence. But some nagging feeling told me that it wasn't, not helped by the fact that I had managed to stop Lan Fan from completely losing her arm, but Elias had lost his. The exact same arm had been taken from him. Was it equivalent exchange? Because I had meddled, was the universe trying to rectify my actions to maintain its balance? My mind ran wild with what that all meant, but Ivey pulled me from my spiral.

"But it's over now. Elias is going to be alright, and so are you. It's over now."

As much as I wanted to be comforted by that, I wasn't. I knew it wasn't over yet. There were so many strings leading to a tangled ball of yarn to follow. It wasn't over until each string had been followed and separated from the mass, starting now with hoping that Al would find out what happened to Ed and Ling and bring them back safely. There was a rustling, and Ivey released me as Al emerged from around the tent.

"Marina, there you are," he said, running up to us. I looked at him, confused. He was supposed to be heading to meet Father by now; why was he back? He looked between us. "How's Elias?"

"He's gonna be just fine," Ivey said, patting my shoulder. I managed a weak smile as Al heaved a sigh, his hand clutching his chest— a strangely human gesture.

"Thank goodness," he expressed quietly, turning to me. "Marina, can we talk?" I looked to Ivey, and she nodded.

"I'm done with you for now. I've gotta go call Nessa anyway," she said, and I went rigid. I had forgotten all about Nessa. How would she react? Ivey seemed to sense my unease and shook her head. "It'll be alright. I'll leave you to it." With that small assurance, she sauntered off back to the tent. We watched her go, and when she disappeared around the corner, I looked at Al.

"Is everything alright?" I asked. He took a bit too long to answer, and I was getting nervous. "What happened? Why aren't you with Gluttony, meeting Father right now?" Al shook his head, and I frowned.

"Gluttony agreed to take us to Father," he said, careful with the emphasis of his words. "When I came back alone, he kind of… had a bit of a tantrum. He said he— he won't take me unless you come, too."

"Oh, I see," I said quietly.

"I know I said that you should stay here, and I meant that, but this Father person might know what happened to brother, and I'm scared, and—"

"Al, it's alright," I said, patting the rattling armor as he choked on his words as they spilled from him in rapid succession. "I'll go."

"This is exactly what they want," Al said quietly, his fist shaking. "We're playing right into their hands. I don't want to put you at risk." I furrowed my brow, looking up at the clear sky. There wasn't a single cloud to obstruct the shimmering of moonlight. A little further over the horizon, a purple haze began its accent over the early morning.

"Even so, I'd do anything to bring them back. I know you would too. I know you wouldn't ask me to go with you, otherwise," I acknowledged. I walked up to him and grasped his hand, squeezing it. "I trust you. We'll go together." Al nodded solemnly. After letting Ivey know we were leaving and a bit of fitful convincing on both Al's and my part, we departed from the refugee camp and headed to meet Gluttony where we had left him. He perked up at the sight of us.

"The sacrifices!" he squealed, clapping. "Now we can go see Father!"

We stopped short, awaiting his direction. He began waddling through the dense forest, and I noticed how sore my body was, how sore my feet were. I thought I had sat long enough back at the camp, but the exhaustion of the last day permeated my very being. We eventually stumbled out of the forest as the sun began to rise over the horizon, shining down over Central, a speck in the direction we were headed. Al gasped.

"Are you sure this is the right way, Gluttony?" Al asked. Even the small creature on his shoulder looked confused.

"Uh-huh," Gluttony assured him.

"But this is the way… Your Father is living in Central?"

And there you have it! I thought I was gonna be a day late, but here we are. I know I forget all the time, but it's chapters like this and the previous that remind me that Marina is fifteen— just a kid doing her best. She's modeled a lot after the teenage version of me and the kids I grew up with because I'm not a teen anymore, but when I was, I made mistakes about a hundred times before I actually learned from them. Development and growth aren't always linear, and I wanted to express that that is totally okay. There's still plenty of story to story, after all. I think it'd be boring if she were fully developed from jump and never made any mistakes. Not to mention, Marina's memory is really screwing her here. To clarify, she wasn't 100% on the details of the rest of the story from about Resembool on, just because she hadn't watched it in a few years. She knows the ending and a few key details, but some things are bound to get lost in her brain. Then there's the added 'what if I changed things? Was this cannon?' debate that's just making things even harder for her to discern. So I hope that's a bit more clear. That said, my goodness, I do love me some Ivey tough-love. It's always blunt and honest. In these types of situations, sometimes that's what works best. She's the kind of character that I'd like to think is an older, more experienced version of Marina, so for her to be the one to have that chat with Marina was really satisfying for me. And Marina is over here doing some crazy things with her alchemy… I wonder where that road will lead to. But Elias is alive! Hooray! I couldn't bear to kill off my favorite angsty asshole. He's still got some things he's gotta do to help me tell this story of mine. But now, with him safe, we march into the lion's den. Let's see how that turns out.

I just wanted to quickly announce that this story has reached 100 favorites as well as over 100 follows, which is just awesome! I am so glad that you all have taken the time and energy required to read this story of mine, and I just have to say I'm beyond grateful. Hitting milestones like these are so exciting! I also wanted to acknowledge that we've hit 69 reviews (for the simple fact that I thought it was funny. I do acknowledge that I am indeed a child). With that, I've noticed that y'all are catching on to the things you're supposed to, which makes me happy that it's at least somewhat clear what's going on. You guys are some smart cookies! I'm also really excited to announce that I got accepted into my MFA program so I'll be going back to school for my masters degree in English in the fall! My goal is to have this story done by then so I can give it my all, so there's a general time frame for ya. Anyway, I hope you all had a happy St. Patrick's Day. I enjoyed some corned beef and cabbage to celebrate my dad's birthday, which also happens to be today! (Which is why I'm a little late to update, ha) I'll see y'all next time!