Okay so updating this late wasn't in the planning, But well here it is. Finally having some time to sit behind a computer again and write so the next few chapters will be posted a lot faster.

Hope you guys enjoy it. To everyone that reviewed thank you so much, I love reading your thoughts so thank you all for sharing them with me. There will be action in the future chapters i promise! but first we have to set the base and plan some plotwork.

Thanks again to my Beta: lizzieBdarcy! You're the best! Check out her stories, they are amazing.

Song: Maria Mena - Habits

Much love from moi, and as always let me know what you thought of the chapter!

I am a creature of habit

and I move in circles around you.

I will admit there's a pattern One I created myself

Chapter 40: Clearer from a distance

As soon as she'd appeared in the doorway of the apartment, and he'd finally seen her again after weeks of being apart, he had been hit by an awful truth that was impossible to deny.

He had wanted to see her

It had been impossible to stop his eyes from roving over her, to stop the heavy thump of his heart inside of his chest when their gazes collided. He had remained silent while she angrily began to rant, only replying to her when the relief of her being safe had calmed down his revving thoughts enough to answer.

Slipping into their old habit of arguing had happened without conscious effort. She had angered him as she had always done, and with her usually stubbornness, she quickly had got under his skin.

He had missed her scorching eyes, her lashing tongue. Unable to stop, he had stoked the fire that burned almost visibly inside her.

"You look terrible."

The sound of her soft voice whispering words of concern had been unexpected, but it had soothed him as nothing else could. He had found himself craving to touch her, to kiss her, so much so that he'd actually been leaning in to do it before he realized it. But when she leaned into the soft touch of his fingers, instead of stepping away, he hadn't been able to fight against those urges rising. He was a breath away, could feel her lips molding themselves to his own with her sweet taste - And then Azazel had appeared.

In hindsight, it was better that way. If Azazel hadn't been there to stop him, he would have done more than kiss her.

She had disappeared in a cloud of red smoke. But her dark eyes, burning with anger, ignited underneath his skin where it had spread into a scorching fire that would be impossible to douse for at least a few hours

New york, 1963: January the 3th

When the office on the first floor of the garage became visible through the tendrils of smoke, he was glad for the sight. It was easier to ground himself and focus on what was more important when she wasn't around. The red-skinned mutant stepped away and from him, and Erik instantly noticed they weren't alone. It seemed the entire brotherhood had been waiting for him to return, and all eyes were focused on him now

The immediate heaviness that lingered inside the room pressed on his already full shoulders, and inside the pocket of his long trench coat, his fingers tightened around Katherine's keys. The thought of going back to her apartment to bask in her soothing presence was fleeting but strong enough to leave an imprint.
Erik's gaze shifted when a soft sound that easily could have passed for an amused chuckle reached his ears. His eyes narrowed when he saw the way Emma's lips curled. The female telepath was leaning against a desk; without a care, she crossed her feet at her ankles, her fingers tapping on the wooden top in an offbeat rhythm.

"You look tense Magneto, did something happen?"

Even with the helmet firmly placed on his head, it hadn't been hard for the female telepath to guess what was bothering him. She had known where he'd been; after all. He ignored her stinging tongue, refusing to feed their amusement more than so than he had already done in the last few days. Instead, he focused on what he knew was more urgent

"Where is it?" he demanded with a voice as raw as the cold outside.

"Right here?" Emma answered, bored and waving her fingers over the top of the table

The small item lying on the desk beckoned him closer. Riptide was leaning against the wall next to the desk, and the moment he took the first step , the suit wearing mutant smirk turned even wider. Even if Riptide had sworn his loyalty, it had been difficult to keep his patience around the man, and it was even harder now to keep his annoyance from showing when the memory of her comforting words kept stirring the agony inside of his chest

With a deep intake of breath, he forced his eyes away from the infuriating man. His gaze immediately found Raven and Angel. The two female mutants were sitting on the old and weathered couch. Angel had straightened up as Erik glanced over, but Raven remained unmoving, and when his eyes settled on her, he saw the anger and coldness that lay within. It was obvious what was troubling the blue-skinned woman. He had permitted Emma to tell her everything she wanted to know about Charles once he had received the information he had needed to hear first. The way Raven's eyes narrowed on him before she looked away told him exactly who she blamed.

With a deep focusing breath, he looked away from her when he reached the table, his attention immediately caught by the small but menacing item lying on the wooden top.

A plastic bullet

Azazel had already informed him of what they had found when he appeared in Katherine's apartment, but his mind had been too clouded to realize the truth behind it all. But now, now that he was back in the garage and away from her suffocating presence, it all settled in. There, lying on the wooden desktop staring right back at him, was Damocles sword in bullet form.

"Riptide."

Riptide looked away from the bullet on the desk. The always annoying smile was still on his lips when he met his eyes. "Tell me what happened," Erik ordered
Even though Azazel had offered a quick summary, he needed to know everything. The urgency in his voice was clear for all of them to hear, but even so, Riptide took his time. He straightened against the wall first, rolling his shoulders and checking if his suit's button were still in place before he slowly started speaking.

"One of Partridge's guards had it in his apartment." His voice, as always, smooth as custard but sharp as a blade

Erik hated the sound, hated it intensely. With a jaw tight from the tension, he reached out with his free hand. Slowly the metal bender lifted the bullet from the table, holding it between his fingers as he brought it closer for inspection

"And how exactly did you come in possession of this bullet?"

The grin on Riptide's lips curved, the fingers of his hands twitching in remembrance. "Let's just say, this wasn't given freely."

Erik's fingers tightened around the plastic bullet in his hand, the meaning behind the man's words instantly clear. "What have you done!?" He asked with a voice that lowered dangerously.

Riptide wanted to open his mouth again, but before he could, Angel spoke up. "He hasn't done anything!" Annoyed, she looked over at Riptide, glaring at him before she continued. "We followed him into a bar. Inside I was able to get close to him."

Knowing that the photos and videos had been too hazy for anyone to be recognized made it easier to gather information, even though every one of them had targets on their back. "I got him drunk and helped him back to his apartment." The former stripper slowly got up from the couch, shivering slightly when the cold wind crept through one of the broken windows. "He passed out on the couch the moment he sat down. When I was sure he was passed out, I let him in" she inclined her head towards Riptide. "We searched his apartment. That's how we found the bullet."

As Angel finished up her explanation, Erik glared at the whirlwind wielding mutant. The man had deliberately tried to make him snap again, and it almost made Erik want to give in just to see the man grovel.

He was too tired for this, too tired for all of this.

His eyes remained narrowed on Riptide when he placed the bullet back down on the table, pointing the tip up to the sky. It wobbled slightly before it stopped. It took him another second to find the words he wished to say. "They know who I am," He slowly announced. "They know what I can do, and they are arming themselves against me."

Every mutant in the room stared at the table where the bullet was sitting, small but heavy with meaning. Again he spoke, his gaze turning to the table too. "They might have weaponized themselves against me brothers, sisters. But they have not created weapons that can stop all of us. "

With a chuckle and a smirk, he flicked the bullet with his finger; it fell and rolled away, stopping on the edge of the table before it could fall. "They will regret the moment they decided to go after us. I will make sure of it, my friends."

The silence that stretched between all mutants after Erik's words was filled with a deadly promise that was only broken when the floor underneath Raven's feet cracked as she stood up. The dismissive way she treated him made it impossible for him to keep his patience in check

"Is there something you wish to say, Raven?" He received no answer from her, but her spine straightened even more which each step she took away from him and closer to the staircase

He couldn't let it go, and the harsh words slipped past his lips without thought. "Have you lost your ability to speak, Mystique?"

This time she did respond, and her words came, cold and rehearsed. "No Magneto, unlike my brother, I haven't lost anything." The harsh lash of words hit him right in the already aching part where his tiredness lurked, and before he had been able to find the words to reply, she had already walked off, disappearing in the garage below.

Annoyed, he turned away from her, from all of them. On their own accord, his feet moved, and he found himself walking towards the window where his eyes fixated on the small boats in the canal outside. "You all can go now. Rest, all of you. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

From the corner of his eyes, the bullet taunted him.

the room started to move behind him. Azazel bowed his head before he walked to the stairs, Angel following closely behind him. Riptide slowly stepped away from the wall he had been previously leaning against, lazily he stuffed both hands in the pockets of his pants. He even had the arrogance to whistle as he disappeared around the stairs. It was only Emma that remained, and when she stepped next to him, she followed his gaze, staring at the few boats that remained outside. The smile she gave him was almost apologetic. "No luck with the ladies tonight, hmm?" She teased

He should have been too annoyed to chuckle at her response, but he wasn't.

Emma's lips quirked even higher when she heard the small chuckle escape from his lips. For a few seconds, she stayed behind with him, watching the boats behind the canal for a heartbeat before she turned away . Her high heels clicked on the laminate flooring when she slowly moved towards the stairs. The clicking stopped before she had taken a step down.

"I like her, "She suddenly said

"Who?" Why he'd even asked, he didn't know, for he feared he already knew the answer

"Your doctor."

His doctor?

He hated how perfect those words sounded, hated how his entire body shivered in remembrance of how right it had felt to be in her presence again. The flooding swell of emotions made it impossible for him to reply, so instead, he stayed silent. Inside of his pocket, the keys seemed to burn against his palm, and even if the thought of returning to her apartment was brief it made his stomach clench.

Hor auff!

His own weakness angered him. He hated how she made him feel. the way his body had a wicked mind of its own whenever his thoughts strayed to her. Hated how he couldn't stop thinking about her.

He hated her, and every weakness she exposed in him.

I love her.

The realization didn't hit him with a bang, it didn't shock him. All it did was made his legs feel like rubber when suddenly everything seemed to make sense. In all existence, he didn't remember ever meeting anyone that was able to break through his control. But Katherine had. She had cracked open his every wall and had made him feel the echoes of emotions he had long forgotten.

He both loved her and damned her all the same for it because it made everything all the more complicated. Impossible from keeping himself standing any longer, he forced his weary feet to move. Tiredly he lowered himself on the couch. With great difficulty, he released the keys in his pocket for the first time since he had left her apartment, but even without the metal touching his skin, his palm kept burning. The muscles in his back and neck cracked when he lifted his arms to relieve his head from the heavy helmet. With a slow pace, it hovered over to the desk. He lowered it slowly next to the bullet.

Even if it felt like a sword dangling over his head, he was too tired to give it any more thought. Tendrils of sleep reached out for him, and he was relieved when he found his mind finally slowing down until only one memory remained. The memory of the way her lips had trembled against his thumb when it had brushed over her lips.

I love you too.

It carried him to sleep, a deep sleep that wasn't interrupted till morning.

2.5 weeks later.
New York, 1963: January the 25th.

Even if it was still early in the day New York's skyline was already beginning to unravel in bleeding hues. Inside the diner the last customer of the midday rush paid his check and when the door fell behind him as he left, Katie let out a relieved breath.

She'd been running around for hours now, serving meals, cleaning tables, and helping John and Martha in the kitchen whenever it was necessary
Letting out another tired sigh, she rubbed her neck briefly, her fingers massaging the tight muscle slowly to release the tension. For a brief spell the streets were quiet, and the diner was empty, but it wouldn't last. Soon the evening rush would start, and the streets would be crowded, the traffic impossible to get through. The diner would be packed again, and if the bustle of the day was an indication of how the evening shift was going to be, she was in for a rough one. She stepped around the counter with another deep sigh, slowly she made her way towards the booth the man had vacated. The soft sunlight that streamed through the window warmed her skin, and content she closed her eyes a small moment to bask into its soothing warmth before cleaning the table.

Getting back to work at the diner was never something she had intended to do, but after appearing a few early mornings without any notice and an offer to help John had left her with no other choice.

"Look lass, you either take the job, or you stop coming by."

Though reluctant at first, she had always enjoyed working in the small restaurant and being back between its four walls was like a soothing balm. Working at the diner kept her busy, and for a huge part of the day it kept her thoughts from straying to unbidden places

She hadn't known what she could have expected after Erik had appeared in her apartment. She had been prepared, or so she thought. But his appearance had rattled her, and its image haunted her every time she came home. The first few days she barely slept, even if she tried. Unconsciously she had been on guard, and every sound, every creak even if it was only the wind as it howled outside her window, had made her tense up.

But nothing had happened.

Would he come back?

The mere thought had kept her pacing around her apartment for many nights, and the thought of packing her bag to start over somewhere else had crossed her mind, but it had been doused quickly. No, this was her place. She loved her apartment; it had been the first place she had ever owned that was truly hers, and hers alone, and she would not leave it, especially not because of him.

The comfort she had felt ever since she had first entered the apartment slowly returned, and even if it had taken a few nights, eventually, she found she could sleep in her bed again. She had been surprised that after a week more of hearing nothing of the metal bender, the fears in her mind suddenly changed.

Was he safe?

He had looked weary, more than weary even, and the concern the image created, though small at first, was like a needle against her skin. Strengthening her heart against him was impossible. She had tried it, whenever he strayed into her thoughts she forced herself to remember all the hurt he had caused, all the chaos he had created. It had always worked, but only for a short while because even those memories were just as easily washed away and replaced with the memories of heated whispers and teasing grins

"Tell me what you need."

With a shake of her head, she shook his voice away, her eyes snapping open instantly. Angry she had let her mind stray again, she picked up the plate and the cup, bringing both of them to the dishwashing tray behind the counter. With a huff, she threw both of them in there, not caring at all when the porcelain cracked when it hit bottom

Bastard.

She hated this. Hated that the relief at finding her apartment empty was always quickly followed by the concern of not knowing if he was still alive.

She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, rubbing her hands over her face to pull herself together again.

Whatever it was between them had been far stronger than she had expected, and the knowledge that he had so much power over her feelings and desires made her uncomfortable. There was a fine line between wanting something and needing it, and not knowing where one started and the other ended was dangerous.

Especially when it came to someone like Erik Lehnsherr.

It took her a few seconds, but eventually, her breathing grew calmer. The broken plate inside the tray stared back. With another deep breath and a shake of her head, she picked up the plate, dumping it in the trash bin beside her. If only that were the first plate, she had broken since she'd returned. In the two weeks since he'd appeared in her apartment, she had broken more plates and cups than she could count, and with a mind that kept being conflicted, she feared that she would break many more in the coming days

The Fleur de Lis was busy, even if it was still early in the evening. A large crowd had gathered around a few tables were a few regulars had started a poker game. Loudly they cheered when a good hand was placed down on the table. The sound made Erik's eyes shift up from the wooden table desk he was sitting behind, if only for a moment to watch the game

Going back to the bar had been something he'd wanted to do for days now, but because everything had changed since the bullet was found, he had been too occupied with visiting. He didn't know what he could expect when he would return, but he hoped that Clement would be able to provide him with some information at least. It had been hard to keep his disappointment from showing when he was instead presented with something entirely different.

"I'm sorry mon Ami, but I have nothing to tell you."

Even with all his sources, le rongeur Français hadn't been able to find anything. He had pulled on many strings, followed many leads, but it had been for nothing. The government was quite adept at keeping a guard on its tongue

" But do not worry, Henryk," Bisset had assured him after he had summarized all the things he had already tried. "I will find it. When Politicians become silent, it's clear the source is near."

He had left him moments after his words. The barman had been alone on a busy night, and not wanting to wait longer than necessary, Bisset had stood up to fix both of them a drink. Erik knew he should have rejected the offer, but after longing for a drink for days, it was impossible not to give in. A tired breath left his nose when he looked away from the poker game, slowly his eyes travelled to the bar where he could see Bisset. The man was holding up a bottle of wine, his gaze roving over the etiquette on the glass before he scrunched his nose when he read something he did not seem to like. With a shake of his head, he placed the bottle down to pick up another one

When it came to his wine the French man always had been picky.

Inside his coat pocket 's Erik's fingers played with the small plastic bullet. Slowly he rolled it around against the palm of his hand, a simple movement that had turned into a habit over the course of the last few days. He had started to carry the bullet around at first to analyse it, study it whenever he wanted to even if he was out on the streets. It hadn't taken long for him to lay its secrets bare.

It wasn't military. that he knew for sure. It was far too advance, and as it turned out, very rare. Finding more bullets had been the first order he had given his Brotherhood. He wanted to know how many agents had been given weapons against him, and though he had to wait a full week to hear the answer, it was more satisfying than he had expected. The bullets, as it turned out, were hardly dispatched. Only a few offices that ranked higher on the level of command had received the bullets, and so far, they hadn't been used in action. It had confused him at first, and he hadn't understood why only a few men had been supplied with the plastic bullet. But the haze of confusion had quickly cleared after he had sent Emma to find out more. The telepath had provided him with a vital piece of information that quickly changed the direction of their operation, for it seemed that the military was receiving support from a secret supplier that supplied them with new weapons and ammunition to be tested. The company behind the outsourcing was being kept secret, and none of the officers Emma had followed had known the information.

Their mission was getting more and more dangerous by the day, and all of them knew they had to tread even more carefully.

A curse in French reached him, and when he twisted his head at the bar, it seemed Clement had finally picked out a bottle that was to his taste. He uncorked it with practice ease before he brought it to his nose to capture the fumes that escaped. He smiled before he poured it in. Quickly he returned, balancing the tray containing their drinks on the one hand. He placed Erik's glass down first, turning the imprinting of the glass towards him

"Comme Vous l'avez demandé, here is the best beer of the tap." He winked playfully, taking his own glass of the tray before he sat down beside him. Clement brought his wineglass to his nose, again savoring the aroma before holding it out towards him.

"It's a shame you don't like wine, Erik. You're missing out on something exquisite."
Erik didn't supply him with an answer,, but he couldn't help the small curve in his lips.

"Salut," Bisset continued.

He raised his own glass in reply. "Prost." When it hit his tongue, the taste of the cold beer was all he had asked for and more. After a hard day of work,, nothing in the world tasted better than a cold Beer

"Truly, I am sorry, Ami. " Clement apologized again. "I appreciate that you took the time to visit me again" He placed his wineglass down on the table, his fingers running slowly over the stem of the glass. " I promise you the moment I have something to tell you, I will call."

With a deep sigh, Erik sat back down in his chair; the pilsner glass in his hands was cold between his fingers, and even if he knew he wouldn't find what he needed in the bottom, he still brought it to his lips. He finished it in 3 large sips and savored the small burn it left in his throat for a second before he placed the glass down again

"You look like you have had a few rough nights Henry."

The man had no idea. "Just like old day's right" Bitterly, the words left his lips

"Bon," Bisset chuckled. "Somethings never change."

He couldn't disagree with the French man's words, even if he wished he could
"So it seems."

Slowly he got up. He picked his hat up from the table, placing it on his head and twisting it straight before he looked back at the French man. Clément's lips curved in something that almost felt like pity. " Henryk, I will get you the information. I can see the urgency in you, Ami, but you must trust me on this. It will need time."
Erik's eyes narrowed slightly. Even if so far nothing bad had happened, it was clear that all of them were balancing on a tightrope. The longer it took for them to unravel the truth behind the project, the more time the government was given to find them.

They didn't have the luxury of time, they never had

"You know I would have never asked this of you if it wasn't important Bisset"

"I know," Bisset immediately replied. "I know you don't trust easily, but be assured you have chosen wisely, for I will not let you down. "He sat up straighter as he spoke, reaching out his arm as he held his hand out.

Erik took it without hesitation. "Thank you, Bisset."

" Ah no, Thank you, Henryk. " Slowly, the man leaned back against his chair again. "I'm sure that one of these days, the American government would want me to leave. I may need assistance when that day comes."

Always the investor.

"I will be there." He promised. With a tip of his head, he turned, and without looking back, he left the tiny bar.

The door fell behind him with a bang. He shook off a shiver when the cold wind that howled between the two streets reached for him. Without thinking, he stuffed his right hand deep into the pocket of his coat. His fingers touched the metal of her apartment key; they still had the ability to calm him, even if he knew they were useless. His shoulders sagged slightly when he started to walk. The direction wasn't where he was supposed to be going, but it was still where his feet brought him every few days.

A cold wind howled around him; he pulled his coat up to keep it away. One the other side of the street, a couple was walking. They were huddled together, walking quickly through the cold night, speaking softly and laughing quietly. They passed him quickly. He slowed his walk and slowly looked back over at his shoulder, keeping his eyes on the young couple. When they turned the corner,, he stepped off the streets, disappearing into the buildings' dark alleyway. The alley he was walking through reached its end; carefully he looked around before he walked out into the streets. He turned his coat up higher and pulled his head down. Once more, he looked around him to make sure that he was alone before disappearing into another alleyway. When he reached the ending, he looked up

Her apartment was dark.

He raised his arm, shoving back the sleeve of his winter coat, he looked at his watch. Almost midnight. His fingers tightened around the keys in his pocket. She was always at home around midnight, and the lights were always on, at least for half an hour more

Unless

Knowing she had gone back to work at the diner was another thing he quickly came to know. John had walked her home one night when she also had also been late, and though it had happened only once it had occurred enough to ease his mind at least for a short while.

Patiently he waited a few minutes, unable to stop his eyes from drifting down towards his watch now and then to check the time. When the sound of a taxi reached him, his eyes shifted away from her apartment and into the direction the noise was coming from. He stepped back, hiding further into the shadows when it came into sight. The car lowered its speed, coming to a slow stop in front of the apartment building. The passenger's side door on the side of the road opened, her voice reaching him before she had even come into sight.

"No, keep the change, it's fine." She stepped outside, closing the door behind her first before hurrying to the sidewalk. She was only there for a few seconds, as always gone before he had been ready to let her leave. The heavy metal door of the building fell closed behind her. A minute later, her apartment lights came to life behind the windows

Good

She was safe, and she was home. That was all he needed to know. As always, she appeared in the window for just a second, leaning forward to close the lids before she was blocked from his view. He turned away before the light behind the closed lids had gone out, and without looking back he started to walk.

After all, there were still more things to do.

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