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"WHILE IT IS ALWAYS BEST TO BELIEVE IN ONESELF, A LITTLE HELP FROM OTHERS CAN BE A GREAT BLESSING."
-Uncle Iroh
I do not own ATLA.
Chapter Forty: When the Sun Kissed the Moon.
She's exquisite.
In ways he's never realized. He watches happy tears paint copper cheeks and splash against the sea of cobalt fur that is her solstice gown.
She's vulnerable.
In ways only he realizes. She smiles and plays her role of jubilant princess and sister to her friends and family so well he's almost convinced himself.
He begins to wonder how he can be the only one noticing her smile is just a little too taut; azure eyes clouded gray in silent anguish. At the last moment he catches Kiri watching her with the same sadness he does.
She sees through her facade as well.
She's burning.
Hotter than the torch sheathed in its podium to his left. Brighter than any daughter of La ought too, she burns as her eyes graze his own. Her inner fire igniting his own inferno making his cheeks blaze a brilliant shade of crimson he doesn't bother to conceal.
She's crying.
Hidden behind walls of ice in a deserted hall, she weeps. Unable to keep on a happy face as the new couple vanishes to consummate their marriage. Guests now satiated with enough spiced wine and bitter ale no one notices her disappear; nor when a bald monk slips away with a blind heiress.
She's tenacious.
Catching him lurking in the corner, she wipes her eyes with so much force he almost retreats as her unreadable gaze clashes with his. His cheeks are burning once more. She looks like she may slap him into next week and he's inclined to let her.
She does not speak as she approaches him.
His attention snagging on the streaks of salty tears that once glided down chestnut flesh. When she grips his palm in her own he does not fight her as they meander through the twists and turns of her budding city.
She moves with a grace that can only belong to a waterbender. Her frigid hand chasing away his blistering temperatures.
He sighs.
They walk silently for a time longer than he anticipates and he tries admirably to keep from asking her where they're going as she leads him down a hallway with no outlet.
Releasing him and facing the wall, she brings both of her hands to the center of her chest, palms facing downwards. He watches her exhale, pushing down an invisible weight to where her bellybutton rests. It reminds him of earthbending. The ice in front of her obeys her command as it crumbles to their feet.
It shocks him only briefly to see the vault door beyond the ice as she pulls out a key of iron fastened around the base of her long neck. The black lanyard looks nice below to her mother's necklace and she slips the key into the slot on the door. It clicks open, the hinges creak and the air inside rushes to greet him reminding Zuko of a fall morning in his country.
The grass is vibrant. The glowing water-recognizable. He wonders if that door somehow led him to the Northern tribe. He hears the clack of the metal hatch closing and turns to her just as her lavish fur coat hits the lush greenery at her feet.
His heart pounds and he's suddenly far too warm when she approaches him. Zuko wonders if she can read his mind as she helps him out of his own stifling overcoat. It falls to the ground and he's grateful for the cool breeze that hits his bare forearms.
She's clad in her usual bending dress but no navy leggings and he watches her fascinated as she pulls his scarlet, silk ribbon from her pocket. Or maybe it was wrapped snugly around the pulse point of her wrist?
It takes only moments to tie her mass of chocolate curls from her face into a high bun on her head and kick her thick seal leopard boots off her feet. The slit in her dress is high, nearly reaching the crown of her hip, it's borderline impossible for him not to follow the slope of her muscled thigh.
He thinks he catches a glimpse of fine red silk that matches his hair ribbon covering her modesty as she sashays past him.
She leaves him on the opposite side of the bridge and perches next to the glowing pond as she gazes in the sky to watch the solstice. She doesn't invite him and he doesn't expect her to. His shoes join hers and he walks over nervously to where she lay.
"This is the only key to that door."
Her voice is monotonous and unreadable as he takes a seat next to her; cinnamon fingers twirling the piece of iron between delicate digits. Unable to stop himself, he reaches for the free palm curled in her lap.
She allows him to capture it and he's transfixed by the sheer frailty that is her small hand. He rubs the pads of his fingers into her flesh as he speculates how this tiny appendage could be so devastatingly destructive.
Her ability to control and destroy just as inherent as her talent to mend and heal. Zuko wiggles closer to her, very nearly in her lap, as he brings her hand to his mouth and kisses every pad on each finger. Every scar littering her hand. It's not an ugly sight. The slightly raised notches burnished against her skin prove her ferocity.
And there are many of them.
He muses what caused each one and why she didn't heal them as he continues on to her wrist, placing his lips firmly to her pulse point.
They sigh together.
It continues like this. He kisses up each arm until her dress is bunched at her shoulders before he momentarily withdraws from her.
Katara watches him in a way that reminds him of a wolffox, eyes keen and undeterred as he pulls the wool socks from her feet so he can place a kiss atop each of them.
Her left calf rests in his calloused hand while he caters to her ankle, maneuvering himself with practiced ease between her legs.
He's rewarded with a gentle whimper and is amused to find her azure eyes timidly tracking him. Zuko's able to suppress a chuckle when he notices her predatory look from earlier has all but vanished.
Continuing his path of kisses up to her knee, the fabric of her dress falls to join him in between her legs. Eventually he nips and licks at muscled thighs; Katara moans for him. The sound makes his pants uncomfortably tight.
He chances a glance at her. Chest heaving, ocean eyes squeezed tight causing wrinkles to form on her pretty little face.
Zuko remembers the last time he was in this oasis. How he stole Aang right out from underneath her. But he also remembers her bending. How this creature mastered an element in just a few short months always boggled his mind. If he had more honor back then he would have faced her head on instead of using cheap tricks. But she was stronger than him. Everyone seemed to be stronger than him.
Katara wiggles in his grasp whilst he reminisces on the past and she's able to break free from him with little effort. Before he can advise against it, Katara kneels so her back is towards him exposing the zipper nestled at the base of her skull.
He takes the hint but continues just as slow. He will savor each and every moment. He wants to memorize this encounter.
The metal zipper is cool to the touch as he tugs it down her spine torturously slow, to the curve of her ass.
"Stand up, Katara."
She obeys him. Rising with a slight wobble that could be from the spiced wine he saw her sipping earlier, or perhaps her own nervousness.
His eyes return to the thin, silky strap of red he passed at the center of her back. Unable to resist, Zuko's palms find her hips and follow her curves-up, until he reaches her shoulders. Then to her neck where the cotton sags and a triangle of mocha skin is teasing him.
Zuko slips a finger inside and Katara shudders as he peels away the dress. His face is hot, in a way he knows he must be blushing, as the material falls to her ankles with a thud. Katara faces him, her high cheekbones dusted pink.
She's exquisite.
Donned in crimson silk underthings, Zuko very nearly has a stroke. The quality is luxurious-expensive. Something she could only purchase in his homeland. She fidgets under his gaze and he realizes he's been staring.
She's vulnerable.
With enough bashfulness to drown the whole city of Caldera the woman asks,
"Does it look bad?".
He wants to laugh. Zuko wonders where his little spitfire of a woman went and when she was replaced by this demure being. Only she could manage to be shy clad in skimpy Fire Nation lingerie.
"You look divine."
He says, voice husky and thick with need.
She's burning.
With cobalt eyes burning like the hottest flame, she approaches him. The timid and reserved girl again giving away to a sensual and amorous woman who looks like she wants to consume him. His golden orbs track her as her wet tongue laves over plump lips. The action causing him to grow stiff against his pants.
She's right before him now, popping open each button on his top. The cool air of the South Pole is a solace on his overheated flesh.
She's crying.
Hot tears drip down her cheeks and he kisses them away. He whispers sweet nothings in her ear in an effort to sooth the broken princess in his embrace. She's falling apart and coming together in his arms and she keeps apologizing for ruining the mood. He assures her it's impossible-that he feels the same way she does. He guides her palm to his cloth covered erection still straining painfully against its confines to prove it to her.
She's tenacious.
Katara grips his length and tugs. An elicit moan rips through his throat and her tears are suddenly gone, replaced by a look of pure unsatiated lust and love. She pushes at the material of his trousers like she's furious they exist on his skin. He steps out of them just as her hand finds his cock again.
He groans in her ear when she tells him she can't wait to have him inside her as she pumps him earnestly.
He kisses her.
Just as the sun kisses the moon above them.
The dance they do mimics the koi fish swimming in the pond next to them. Kissing her is so natural it's easy to get wrapped up in but Katara seems to remember their time constraint. The bite to his bottom lip doesn't hurt but it does bring him back to their sad realities.
When he pulls away he can't help but be flustered by her swollen lips, flushed skin and wide, cerulean eyes.
She's never looked so beautiful.
Katara urges him to sit back down with her and she doesn't hesitate to straddle his waist and claim his lips once more. His earlier presumption was correct. As his tongue dips deeper into her mouth the spiced wine is easy to detect. That mixed with her own natural flavor is nearly intoxicating.
He, on the other hand, tastes of smoky cinnamon and scorching sunsets. She's trembling above him while he twirls the crimson silk of her underthings between two deft fingers admiring the quality.
Zuko tells himself to ask her where she got it after they've made love. His heart aches when he considers the fact they may not even be able to speak after this.
His fingers scald her chilled skin and her back bows elegantly in a sensual arch, her silk covered breasts pushed temptingly closer to his mouth, nipples firm beneath it.
In his amazement, he wonders if he can make her bend deeper, like the curve of a bridge-and briefly, Zuko finds himself appreciating architecture.
She pleads to him. Her voice is sweet, like the plum colored berries that grow wild in the earth kingdom meadows. Katara rolls her hips against him, seeking friction in any way she can while he busies himself with the silk tie of her bra.
From his seated position it takes little effort to capture her lips as he pulls the garment from her chest. Her hands grip the back of his neck while she continues the gentle rocking against him.
KATARA
The moon glowed beautifully above me.
It had been years since I'd seen a solstice from the South Pole. I had almost forgotten its brilliance. I had almost forgotten how Tui embraced the sun like a dear friend. Like a lover. I wondered if Yue had to practice her role or if she fell into it naturally, I surmised the later.
'Did she weep as she watched her former lover being wed? Did her heart ache for the sacrifices we made in search of peace? Did she shine brighter tonight just so we knew she was watching over us all and that she understood? Maybe she was even proud?'
My heart thumped painfully against my rib cage when I thought about Sokka. Though he had made peace with his past, did she cross his mind tonight?
'Was he doing ok?'
What did we do to deserve this anguish? What did any of us do that made us worthy of such pain?
Was Aang able to take Toph to Zuko's ship like we discussed?'
I was grateful Zuko didn't speak much. I wasn't sure I could handle hearing his voice. Shaking my head of these thoughts I force myself to focus on the man in my arms. I'd have the rest of my life to think about my misfortunes.
I tug gently on Zuko's wrist. A silent request to have him sit down so I can join him.
He moves without question and I can't help but watch his powerful body bend as he sits stark naked on the grass; his length is stiff and strung tightly against his abdomen. My cheeks burn as his biceps flare while he uncoils his hair from his clip and it cascades down in a shimmering, onyx blanket just past his shoulders.
It's grown so long. Ursa's soft, feminine features are easier to pick out from Ozai's harsh, angular ones when he's like this. But somehow, he looks only like Zuko and I find it hard to swallow the sudden lump in my throat.
I rest easily in his lap and fight the moan when I feel his hard cock pushing against the thin silk of the barely there thong Kiri helped me pick out.
I want to ask him if he likes it again but I find it hard to speak as he plays with the strap against my left shoulder. My hips roll over his instinctively; my moan swallowed by smoldering lips that remind me of fireberries and hot springs.
Before I have the chance to be embarrassed, Zuko pulls my thin bra from my chest and leaves my mouth in favor of suckling on a delicate nipple.
"Agni…"
I curse while he pleasures me, my head thrown back, my body curving against his and I open my eyes to the sky above me.
The sight very nearly brings me to tears as the moon appears to be swallowed by the sun.
'How fitting.'
His mouth, like everything else, radiates a type of warmth that has me keenly aware of how his tongue reaches out to lave against my nipple. His teeth pull at the sensitive bud like one plucks at a wind instrument.
It's beautiful, and graceful, and seemingly effortless as my body responds, unable to hold in my moans.
Zuko bucks against me; his body heating enough to burn my skin, I can't help but presume from the sudden occupation of the sky his element has taken in the middle of the night.
The heat of him flares around me as he trembles below me. I almost think he'll flip us and dominate me. The thought is a pleasant one. His length driving into me relentlessly. It wouldn't be the first time he's taken me like that.
"Katara...please…" Zuko strains. His body hardens as he struggles to maintain control. Something powerful sparks inside of me when I realize what he wants.
With newfound confidence I stand in front of him and slide the last piece of clothing keeping us from each other down my thighs.
His erection looks painfully stiff from where he sits as hungry, hooded eyes devour me. The longer I observe him the more restraint I see him exercising. The muscles of his thighs bulging in exertion, his chest heaving gently; white knuckled fingers gripping the grass on either side of his ass like he's anchored himself to the ground in an attempt to stay lucid.
I watch him, decidedly amused, as I pull his ribbon from my hair allowing the unruly locks to fall to my waist. He very nearly reaches out to grab me, his right arm jolting slightly only to clutch the grass harder.
"Katara.." It's a warning of sorts, his voice is dark and deep, filled with all types of promises he knows can't be kept.
Slowly, I settle myself back into his lap and he immediately palms my ass with both hands.
With the sun still burning full above me, I can't help but be flattered at his offering.
Zuko's giving himself to me while at his strongest. The sun fueling him with strength and energy. The most powerful firebender in the world submitting himself to me at his absolute zenith.
Pushing myself to my knees, I grasp his pulsing length in my hand and line the bulbous, velvet tip of his cock against my dripping entrance. His eyes don't leave mine as I rub my essence against him in an effort to ease him inside of me.
I slid down on him, the stretch is painful as I try to accommodate his girth while I watch Zuko's eyes reach the back of his head; his body shivering in pleasure as he fully supports my weight.
I moan. A breathy gasp that Zuko selfishly swallows.
His hands travel from my thighs up my waist to push me impossibly closer against him. The sting is intense but so is the friction against my clit.
It's then, I realize, that we've never had sex in this position and I'm unsure on how to proceed. I feel foolish and clumsy but Zuko doesn't seem to mind as I try to find a rhythm that suits us both.
Momentarily, I'm overwhelmed by the heat of him. He's radiating warmth so acute I wonder if his flames will consume me and burn us both to ash.
I pull away just to watch him. A self indulgence I'm not afraid to seize given our circumstances.
Zuko guides my hips in a bouncing motion and I'm transfixed by the expression on his lovely face. His copper eyes screwed shut, eyebrows knitted together tightly, lips parted as bated breath escapes his mouth to pant against the sweat slicked skin of my collarbone.
"Fuck...Katara-I..I think I'm gonna…"
I can't help but be aroused even further as Zuko works himself into a frenzy below me. The grip on my hip burns, like he's intent on branding me but I'm unable to look away from his flushed face.
In the times we've coupled, Zuko has never found his release this quickly and I can't help but meet his thrusts as I realize I need to watch him cum as badly as he needs to.
He groans wildly against my lips in tandem with hastily placed kisses that cover my flesh wherever he can reach. All at once he tenses; his hands gripping hotly against my waist, thumbs embedded in the dip between the bone of my hip and my belly button. When I open my eyes to watch him climax he's already glancing up at me.
Zuko's practically luminescent as the sun's rays beam off his porcelain skin; my heart snags on the wet trail of tears that trickle from golden orbs washed the shade of rich honey.
He's never looked so beautiful. My release barrels down my spine shocking him as much as it does me. His face contorts into something that resembles a grimace as I contract around him pulling him in deeper.
Suddenly, I'm enveloped by heat.
A burning circle surrounds us and my heart jumps at the sudden display of flames. Zuko's eyes now screwed tight in the throes of his release and I'm almost concerned his fire will converge on us and burn me alive.
I nearly call forth water from the oasis to douse the blaze when I notice the rainbow of colors dancing amongst all the reds and oranges.
It's an overwhelming sight and I'm unable to look away. His fire grows high as though trying to touch the sun, but doesn't move any closer to us. The pigments flow and glide in a graceful push and pull so pure and raw I mistake it for the ocean's tide.
Zuko curses, pulling me from my trance, and quickly extinguishes his cylinder of fire leaving behind a ring of scorched earth.
"Shit...Katara, I'm sor-"
With breaths still labored from our orgasms, my lips find his and greedily steal the air from his lungs.
Though he's reached his climax, Zuko is still achingly hard inside of me and thrusts into me reflexively groaning out his sensitivity against my swollen lips.
His groan then shifts to a growl and before I can track his movements my back is flush with the grass. He doesn't give me time to become acquainted with my new surroundings before burying himself back inside of me.
"I've missed you so much…" He whispers into my hair as his gentle thrusts continue. Slowly, like the first time we ever had sex-he kisses lovingly at the base of my throat.
"I've missed you, too." I gasp back. Because I have. Dearly. In ways I never thought imaginable; on the opposite side of the world I've longed for Zuko so much my heart bleeds.
Zuko guides my legs around his waist so he can dive deeper inside of me just as my hands reach up to scrape my nails down already scarred porcelain skin. I feel all of him. His cock is hard and hot as he pushes himself fully inside only to retreat seconds later.
His lips are chapped, the cooler climate likely to blame, as he kisses up my neck to nibble at my ear. His hands are calloused and rough from years of wielding his swords, they follow a path down my wrapped thighs to my waist, then to tangle in my hair only to start all over again.
It's maddening. He's maddening. And I'm suddenly panting, struggling to get air into my lungs as my senses are overwhelmed. Like I'm suffocating. Like I'm drowning. I would have laughed at that realization if I had the air to do so.
His heart pounds against my breasts and I find myself tracking the flow of his blood. The water in the pond. The snow 300 feet above us. The ocean a mile away calling to me.
I'm able to glance past Zuko's silky, onyx hair to the moon. Full and large. Devoid of the sun completely. I wonder when it slipped away.
I watch sweat bead at his hairline then drip from his brow down his long, pale neck. Before I realize what I'm doing, I lick it away. A lengthy, wet trail left behind as my tongue laps away at the taste of him. The briny flavor reminds me of the ocean and I soon find myself sucking on the flesh of his collarbone.
Zuko makes no attempt at quieting his sighs and grunts of pleasure and there is something about hearing him that makes me feel like a live wire.
"I love you.." Zuko says, voice broken and hoarse. I don't have to meet his eyes to know he's crying. I almost join him in his tears when he slips a sweat slicked hand between our bodies. The tip of his index finger skimming through the trimmed patch of dark curls to circle my clit.
"Fuckkk…"
I curse only to sense Zuko's smirk against my lips as he continues his slow rhythm.
"You're so fucking perfect. So tight. So wet."
His confession has me blushing at his choice of vulgar words and I can't help complimenting him back.
"You're so deep. So thick…"
This seems to spur him on further. Zuko curses again and picks up his pace.
"Fuck, Katara, you're gonna make me cum. Cum with me, please."
It's a broken plea if anything else. As if his fingers playing with my clit didn't already have me hanging on the edge of oblivion, his words are enough to make my vision blur and toes curl. For ice to flow through my veins.
"Oh Agni, I'm gonna…."
My back arches clear off the ground, my thighs tightening around Zuko's hips as I try to tether myself to this world the best I can.
"That's it. Cum for me, Katara…"
Everything stills.
Through my euphoria I watch four small children, the eldest no older than thirteen, trample their way through a war chamber door. Colors of red and blue look unnatural as they clash for dominance over the other.
Zuko sits elegantly on his throne like he was born to do so, pin-straight onyx hair kissing the center of his abdomen.
Though creases have formed around his eyes from stress, he still manages a genuine, heartfelt smile through the piles of scrolls stacked near him.
He drops them in favor of picking up a little girl with bright blue eyes, flesh as pale as the moon, and hair as dark as midnight.
"Daddy! Daddy!" She squeals in a tone only a child could create. "Mommy showed me a new waterbending technique! Do you wanna see?"
Zuko's smile is large and perhaps overexaggerated, while speaking to her.
"Alright! Go on…" Zuko drops the little girl, who can be no more than five, as she pulls herself into a familiar stance before taking a steadying breath and capturing water from the air around us with a twirl of her wrist.
Zuko's eyes swell with pride. "You're a true novice, Kya. Just like your mother."
My throat burns and my eyes sting.
What is this...
I watch, dumbfounded, as Zuko dances around the remaining children. The eldest holds little Kya, her pasty skin contrasts against his own warm bronzed. She wears the colors of my nation and he dons the reds of Caldera, his eyes the shade of unharvested honey.
But their hair is the same. An abyss of never ending black that falls down their backs. The boy's beautifully half pinned up in a clip only the crowned prince is permitted to have.
The other two could very well be twins. A boy and a girl. Perhaps nine or ten, both share chocolatey brown locks plaited back from their faces to rest against their spine. Flesh bronzed as if kissed by the sun itself.
The two bicker, which quickly escalates to the girl striking first with a flurry of fire as the boy more gracefully counters with water to douse her flames.
"Hey! Rin! Yasuo! Enough, not in the war chamber!" Zuko's voice raises but the hint of mischief is easy to detect.
"Iroh, can you break them apart please?" Zuko says turning to the eldest.
Iroh doesn't speak, just drops Kya and walks calmly over to the two. This must be a common occurrence because the twins immediately turn on Iroh forgetting their feud in favor of a stronger opponent.
Iroh doesn't seem fazed by the twist in events. His movements are second nature as he pulls two twin swords from his back looking perhaps a little annoyed. The twins are merciless in their attacks but Iroh takes them in strides. Deflecting and advancing on them in a dance that looks rehearsed.
"Not this time brother!" Rin exclaims, she pressures Iroh from the left as Yasuo flanks right with a wave of water. The two clash. Steam surrounding the three until it finally dissipates to reveal an unscathed Iroh and two panting twins.
But my eyes trail to little Kya. Her tiny feet sliding beautifully along the granite floor picking up the water resting at Iroh's feet. With a flick of her wrists the water freezes. Iroh's thud is audible as his butt hits the ground harshly and his swords scatter away with a metal rattle.
The twins laugh together. Falling all over themselves as little Kya runs over to Zuko to seek refuge in a fit of giggles.
The ice then melts around Iroh's ankles in a heated huff. Then a distinguished crackle resounds in the air, goosebumps pepper my flesh and my hair sticks up on the back of my neck.
The lightning Iroh conjures sparks a deep purple and the twins stop laughing and shift into a defensive position.
"Hey! Iroh, you know the rules, no lighting in the palace!" Zuko announces matter of factly. The lighting dissipates like the flow of a river. Iroh's shoulders sag and he cracks his neck to the left then the right to release some tension.
The blue flames shock me more than the lightning did as Iroh chases the giggling, slighting scared twins, from the war room hopefully somewhere outside to finish their duel.
Finally Zuko reaches me, Kya resting against his hip. His kiss is sweet and warm and my cheeks burn under his attention.
"Maybe we should have stopped at four." Zuko chuckles, the sound is pleasant and finally directs my attention down to my heavily swollen stomach.
"I want another sister, Mommy! Rin never plays with me." Kya pouts prettily, her round face looking nothing short of dejected.
"I love you, Katara.."
I blink.
Zuko's bare body pressed flush against my equally bare chest as we both pant to catch our breath. Then to the heavy snow that falls in large clumps around us.
My heart sinks as I stare at the midnight sky of the South Pole. Then it snaps. Little pieces jamming themselves in my chest as my tears fall fast. I choke out a sob and Zuko immediately pulls back to look me in the eyes.
He cups my cheek and brushes loose hair from face. Looking at him brings a heavy pain I hadn't expected. I see Iroh's golden eyes, Kya's obsidian hair and the twins mischievous grin's.
I start hyperventilating. My chest shudders as I continue to drown in my own grief. My own misfortune. Life after a war is supposed to be easy. We won.
Why does everything seem so much harder now? Why are we still suffering?
Zuko removes himself from my chest pulling his now soft length from my center with a grunt before spinning us around and tugging me into his lap.
He doesn't speak. And I wonder if he understands the severity of my trauma. If he understands the images that just plagued my mind. His warmth swells inside of me, the snow stops falling around us.
He holds me until my tears run dry and my throat is sore from gasping. I can't help but tell him about my vision. He chuckles, shoulders shaking, or maybe he cries like I do. I don't unbury my head from his chest to find out.
We sit for hours. Grasping onto the little moments that are left. I try to piece them all together to lengthen our time together but it doesn't stop the sun from rising. The sight of daybreak would have made me cry if I had any tears left to give.
"They'll be looking for us…" Zuko whispers quietly. The sound tickles my ear.
"Then let them look! Let them find us like this. I-I don't care!" My anger is palpable as I clutch onto his forearm with as much strength as I can muster like it could somehow keep us from facing the future-our inevitable destinies apart.
Zuko sighs and my heart sinks further into the recesses of my mind.
"You know that we can't…"
He stands and places me gently next to him, knees wobbly.
"Fuck…Katara..did-did I do that?" Zuko steps closer, eyes pinned to my stomach. Raising an eyebrow at him I glance down at the source of his attention.
A burn occupies the space between my left hip bone and belly button. It's not large, perhaps the size of his thumb, and I've never seen anything more beautiful or raw.
"I'm so sorry. Heal it!" He demands, voice almost frantic.
"I'll do it later. We should get going." To my relief he doesn't question me further. Zuko helps me dress first and I help him after. Twenty minutes later I'm securing his hair for him and tugging an iron key from around my neck along with fine azure silk.
I look fondly at my mother's necklace and my heart aches when I see little Kya flash before my eyes. But I smile. I smile so large I start to cry pulling Zuko's attention away from a metal door to close the few feet between us.
We don't speak as I free his wrist from his billowing crimson sleeve and Zuko doesn't try to stop me as I tie the dainty fabric there.
"You'll keep it safe like before right?" My voice shudders and I try to keep my smile from fading even though I know it doesn't reach my eyes.
To reference such a thing at a time like this. When I was tied to a tree and all Zuko wanted was Aang, his honor and the love of his nation.
He nods. Eyes wide. Heart just as damaged as mine.
The urge to kiss him once more is overwhelming but I don't dare move to embrace him. Knowing full well we wouldn't be able to pull ourselves apart afterwards.
The world moves slowly around me as Zuko and I walk through my budding tribe. Most citizens drowsy and some even still in bed after a long night of festivities. But there is enough moment to signify a sensiful, honest living.
It doesn't take long for Zuko's advisors to find us. If they notice our clothing is the same from last night they don't say anything.
Zuko's guards share a few words with him and fall in step behind us like we're some kind of honored dignitaries. I want to roll my eyes. The list of sins that should damn us to hell are longer than Aang's bending staff.
We all converge at the same place my father, Sokka and I were inaugurated. An incredibly open venue that sealed my fate before and seems won't hesitate to do it again.
Suki is bundled up underneath Sokka's arm as he speaks to Bato about foreign policy, it's all too easy for me to ignore their conversation and circle around Iroh, GranGran and Pakku.
My neck feels colder without my mother's necklace but it won't stay that way for much longer. Kiri sneaks up behind me to fasten my unruly hair back from my face with a glittering opal clip that I would have spent more time gawking at if my heart wasn't utterly barren.
Kiri squeezes my hand harder than necessary when Aang enters the small township. His eyes contradict his large smile. Riddled with redness and misery that can easily be mistaken for the harsh cold tormenting an outsider.
Toph sits seemingly unbothered atop one of the few brick bridges far enough away that people won't speak to her, but close enough as to not miss a thing.
Her leg dangles seemingly in boredom off the side of the bridge but I can sense the tears running down her pale cheeks. I can feel them. Defiant, apathetic and wholly forsaken.
Zuko goes rigid next to Iroh as I make my way past him and towards Aang. In my mind he even reaches out for me.
'This must be done. I have to do this. This has to be done. I need to do this.'
The mantra in my mind becomes harder and harder to repeat in my head as I watch the nonexistent life I had with Zuko flash through my own eyes.
The images move so quickly I hardly see them.
Kya's blue eyes. Ursa's sweet smile. Lighting piercing the hearts of evil men. A sunbathed deck on a small dingy. Candlelight bouncing off skin as pale as the moon. The sun rising over the ocean. The Blue Spirit's mask. A pond full of turtleducks. A heated kiss after a wedding. A waltz I don't remember how to perform.
The smell of burning embers. The taste of fire berries. A nightmare in an earth kingdom home. The flash of lightning. The smell of putrid, dying flesh. A fake play that spoke too close to home. A war we thought we'd never win. A man who avenged my mother. A man who brought my father home. A scorned prince who kidnapped Aang. A broken kid who stole a necklace.
A boy who buried his steel boat into the Southern Water Tribe's ice.
I turn around to glance at him. A face Kiri would later tell me looked like a last minute call for mercy and a plea to save my soul.
Zuko cry's from his good eye. Just like Toph, I can sense them. I can feel them. In a moment of weakness I flick my wrist out to push them away. He offers me a smile that I will keep in the back of my heart until I'm gone from this world and join the spirits in the next.
Aang falters only once. A pull of his left leg that no one would notice as his eyes flicker over to a blind heiress. Aang does better than I do. He makes the whole thing look natural. As if he and I share the same bond he shares with Toph.
I wonder if he just imagined me as her.
Before I know it Aang is wrapping a new necklace around my neck. The swirls are delicate. His nation's symbol carved into a sphere of opal fastened to a navy silk wrap that could very well be the same as the one that used to rest there.
But it feels wrong. Though he barely touches me, his hands are unsure and cold. The band is suffocating. Like it's too tight. Like it's bearing down a weight against my throat so I can't speak.
Then Zuko's burn tingles at my hip and my body relaxes at the warmth it brings. At the mark that can never be removed from my body.
Aang kisses my cheek. A quick peck similar to the one I saw GranGran give him when he first arrived.
Her words ringing in my ear, "You may not love him at first. But you will grow to."
I try to smile and meet the faces of everyone here. To be proud of my engagement. But Suki looks like she might cry and Sokka refuses to look away from where Zuko stands. His eyes are fierce and dark and dangerous. His fingers itching at the katana strapped to his hip as though he might gut him like a penguinseal.
To most, Pakku appears nonchalant, but his pale eyes give him away, he too reflects my own sadness. GranGran offers me a smile. A smile that tells me she understands my sacrifice. Kiri's eyes flicker from me to Sokka's sword and then to Zuko, who I refuse to look at again. I watch her hand twitch towards the katana and I pull my fingers into a fist to freeze her to the icy ground beneath her.
If her eyes could throw daggers.
But she takes the hint nonetheless, relaxing her posture. I glance at Toph to find her accompanied by Iroh. Her face burried deeply in the dark red folds of his robes. She's so petit she is nearly swallowed by them.
My father saves me from making any type of speech by congratulating Aang and corralling everyone towards the tribes marketplace.
When I finally meet Aang's gaze it's impossible for me not to hug him. And hugging him is everything hugging Zuko isn't.
'I guess there won't be many things that remind me of him…'
I sense Zuko's presence before I see him. And to my shock he shakes Aang's hand. But not before making a show of it. My mother's necklace on display is as clear as day, snug against his wrist. And when he turns to me all the air in my lungs leaves. He's just as fucked up as I am but he doesn't hesitate to pull my hand out of my sleeve and place a dainty kiss atop it that has me shuddering all the way to my toes.
"I'll write to you…" Before I can respond he's already walking away and somehow Aang and I are alone.
"I'm sorry about this." Aang's voice is quiet and monotone and I don't recognize him at all. I swallow harshly.
"There you go, always trying to bare burdens on your own. WE did this. And WE will suffer for it. Together. We can get through this together."
He offers me a broken smile before turning in the direction my father went. "I'll meet you for dinner?"
I nod and make my way to my room.
Kiri is already there sweeping at nonexistent dust, a death grip on the handle of the broom, when I walk inside.
Toph appears from around the corner looking like she was hit by a truck. She lazes her way over to me and we break down right there in the center of my room. We hold each other until the tears subside. Until her uncharacteristically quiet voice hits my ears.
"Aang..uh, well he-last night…"
I don't interrupt and wait patiently for her to continue.
"He said Zuko told him about...birth control…"
Her words are so quiet I can hardly hear her but I do understand what she means.
"Oh. Alright. I actually have to for myself…uh I'll do mine first so you can see. It doesn't hurt."
She nods and nudges away slightly but close enough to reach her hand out to rest atop of mine to follow my movements.
I push healing chakra through my hand and guide us just below my belly button, careful to avoid the burn Zuko gave me.
The process is quite simple and much easier than what most northern tribe women do. But most northern women weren't allowed to press the boundaries of their bending until recently. I hadn't thought it possible myself until GranGran told me her mother would use this technique. In essence, I'm able to direct my cells to attack any foreign substance residing in my body. Be it a common cold or even as a means of birth control.
It's a quick process. Quick enough to have Toph's tongue quip, "That's it?"
I roll my eyes at her, mostly because I know she can't see me do it before assisting her as well.
"I think I'm going to start a metal bending school. Iroh told me he'd help...I figure if I'm working I'm not thinking about him."
Toph's face shines with just the slightest bit of hope and it makes me believe that everything might actually work out. Afterall, all of us knew this would be the outcome. We walked into this knowing we would not walk out and now we must deal with the consequences.
But knowing that doesn't stop my empty heart from aching. Knowing that doesn't stop me from dreaming about a war chamber full of children.
After I wash, Kiri helps me dress for dinner and if she notices the burn, which there is no way she doesn't, she does not say anything.
She dresses me up in one of my finer fur coats. The navy blue is so dark it's amethyst. And I like the contrast against my skin. It's not a joyful, happy sky blue that I should be wearing on my engagement day and I'm entirely grateful.
The darker tone brings out something in me that feels dangerous and powerful and I'm addicted to this alleged feeling of strength it seems to give me.
Kiri doesn't talk as she fashions my hair. Two hair loopies on either side of my cheeks frame my face and clip to the back of my head fashioned with a hair pin.
The remaining chocolate locks pulled from the loopies get braided down my spine so the rest of my curls can remain wild and uncontrollable.
My head throbs and my lungs burn when I see the red silk she slipped into the braid. The glittering princess circlet fits a little too perfect around my forehead, the ultramarine crystals shine in the evening glow as the sun sets. The largest crystal rests just below my hairline at the center of my forehead and I quite like how my eyes shine just as brightly.
A gentle knock at my door tells me Aang has come to retrieve me for dinner. I take a deep breath before pulling open the door. He looks handsome, in the same way he always has, and I smile at the small sense of familiarity that makes me feel safe and protected.
Aang smiles too. A small tug at the corner of his lips that is nothing short of bashful.
"You look lovely. Um...I came to get you for dinner. But Zuko was called back to the fire nation. Something about Azula. Iroh a-and...Toph are going with him. I figured you'd want to see him off…"
Closing the distance between us I notice Aang is now much taller than me. The handful of inches have me up on my tippy toes to place a gentle kiss on his cheek before slipping my arm through his and making our way to the docs.
———————————————————————-
Zuko stands with Sokka. Their conversation looks tense as they speak in hushed tones too quiet for me to hear. I find toph once again tucked away against Iroh's side. Aang removes himself from me and brazenly goes to her.
I steal my spine and approach my brother and Zuko. Sokka sees me first, says a few more heated words to Zuko before stomping off in the opposite direction.
Zuko looks exhausted and crestfallen when he finally looks upon me.
"You look ravishing as always. Too bad it's not for me.." Zuko's tone is playful but I can still sense his annoyance and it makes me want to roll my eyes.
"Jealousy is unbecoming of the FireLord." I tease back a hint of mirth dancing on my tongue.
"I came to say goodbye.…" My voice decidedly destitute only a blink of an eye later. He sighs, a great billowing breath that could melt the great ice walls in the North. Eyes still glittering like molten copper. Cheeks flushed pink from the icy winds. Lovely. Stunning.
"I will write to you, too. And...I hope Azula is healing. I hope Ursa can build her up just as strongly as she did her son."
Zuko's ship groans and whistles with it's intended departure.
He pulls me into him then. A selfish last hug that I'm grateful he had the courage to take. Heat barrels down my spine momentarily chasing away the ice that consumed me the second we left the oasis.
His grip is firm and with his head buried into the crook of my neck it's easy to hear his words. And they nearly send me crumbling to my knees.
"No matter what happens, or where you go, I'll always love you. I will follow you to the ends of this earth and even farther. All the way to the Spirit world if I must."
I shudder against him to keep myself from crying. "I love you, too." Is all I'm able to manage before Iroh places a gentle hand on my shoulder.
I pull away from Zuko and grip Iroh who's equally as warm and then latch onto Toph.
"Good luck with your school. I know you'll do amazing things. I love you." I speak into her thick fur coat but her teeth still chatter.
She doesn't speak but her smile does the talking and the three of them make their way up the metal bridge.
Aang lingers behind me. I sense his presence and his silent tears. And that too breaks my heart.
I watch Zuko's ship leave port and slip off into the ocean that looks more like a bed of fire and lava against the setting sun than it does a tundra.
Aang and I stayed there a long while. Until the sun had disappeared. Until Yue's light had banished any thoughts of the sun's warmth.
Until there was nothing but chilling ice and bitter attic waters.
I wondered if I was even watching the ocean anymore.
I refused to look deeper, scared of what I'd find dwelling in the depths of my own despair.