Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ashes

(Double Surprise! Thank Saterra3950 for rekindling my inspiration in this story!)

In the next chamber 8 people stood in a single-file line – it was obvious you had to answer the riddles in order. Elissa shoved me forward – garnering exclamations from the others at her rough treatment of me.

Brona stood there looking at me, "Echoes from a shadow realm, whispers of things yet to come – Thoughts strange sisters' dwell in night, is swept away by dawning light. Of what do I speak?"

"Dreams," I replied.

"A dream came upon me as my daughter slumbered beneath my heart. It told of her life and of her betrayal and death. I am sorrow and regret. I am a mother weeping bitter tears for a daughter she could not save."

I almost stumbled when I found out the reason answering riddles was a trial; I was… so tired all of a sudden…

I moved on to the next specter, Shartan who said, "I'd neither a guest nor a trespasser be. In this place I belong, that belongs also to me. Of what do I speak?"

"Home," by now Leliana was watching me in calculating silence. Shartan nodded and said, "It was my dream for the people to have a home of their own, where we would have no masters but ourselves. The enemy of my enemy is my friend – and thus we followed Andraste against the Imperium. But she was betrayed, and so were we."

Felassan watched in confusion as I stumbled and sighed with weary longing.

As Shartan vanished, I moved to the third – Maferath, "A poison of the soul, passion's cruel counterpart; from love she grows, till love lies slain. Of what do I speak?"

"Jealousy," I whispered and almost bit my tongue clean off at the wave of bitterness that crashed into me while Maferath said, "Yes, jealousy drove me to betrayal. I was the greatest general of the Alamarri, but beside her I was nothing. Hundreds fell before her on bended knee. They loved her, as did the Maker. I loved her too, but what man can compare with a god?" and he vanished.

"She wields the broken sword, and separates true kings from tyrants. Of what do I speak?" I sighed, "Mercy."

"Yes. I could not bear the sight of Andraste's suffering, and mercy bade me end her life. I am the penitent sinner, who shows compassion as he hopes compassion will be shown to him."

A pang of pain tore my heart – how could I be merciful when death followed in my wake?

I pressed on, approaching Cathaire next. "No man has seen it but all men know it; Lighter than air, sharper than any sword. Comes from nothing but would fell the strongest armies. Of what do I speak?"

"H-hunger," I groaned out. Great – now my gut was in knots and I had three more to go.

"Yes, hunger was the weapon used against the wicked men of the Tevinter Imperium. The Maker kindled the sun's flame, scorching the land. Their crops failed, and their armies could not march. Then He opened the heavens and bade the waters flow, and washed away their filth. I am Cathaire, disciple of Andraste and commander of her armies. I saw these things done, and knew the maker smiled on us." And he vanished. I finally noticed that each time one of them disappeared, one of 8 colored gems would glow on the door.

I moved once more, approaching Havard who asked, "The bones of the world stretch towards the sky's embrace; Veiled in white, like a bride greeting her groom. Of what do I speak?"

"The mountains," I whispered and I felt the weight of worlds hoist upon my shoulders. I stumbled and gritted my teeth while Havard responded, "Yes. I carried Andraste's Ashes out of Tevinter into the mountains to the east where she could gaze ever into Her Maker's sky... No more fitting a tomb than this could we find."

Vasilia looked me over and said, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. The debt of blood must be paid in full. Of what do I speak?"

I was hesitant to answer, but I said it anyway, "Vengeance."

I gasped as pure rage filtered into me – I had to hold back the urge to attack something as Vasilia gave a satisfied smirk and said, "Yes. My husband Hessarian would have chosen a quick death for Andraste. I made him swear that she would die publicly with her war-leaders, that all would know the Imperium's strength."

I fell to my knees before the final woman, Ealisay, as she smiled sweetly and asked, "The smallest lark could carry it, while a strong man might not. Of what do I speak?"

A tear fell from my eye as I whispered, "A tune." A sob wrenched from my throat when all the burdens that had been piled onto me moments ago vanished. I felt the relief of a blowing wind on a summers' day as she giggled and nodded, "Yes. I was Andraste's dearest friend in childhood, and always we would sing. She celebrated the beauty of life, and all who heard her would be filled with joy. They say The Maker himself was moved by Andraste's song, and then she sang no more of simple things."

I pitched forward as the relief crashed into me completely – this trial… this wasn't only a trial that would give and take what it gave… it took so much more than the negative things it gave.

I was on my hands and knees as I cried – like a child – at the sudden loss of… everything negative that had welled up in me over the years. Felassan knelt beside me, "Lethallan?"

"Ir tel'him… Halam'shivanas… Ir tel'him," I muttered. Theron was pale, "Lethallan…"

"What is she saying?" Sten asked.

"I'm me again; the sweet sacrifice of duty; I'm me again," Felassan muttered – just loud enough for them to hear him.

Alistair knelt and lifted me, "Just how heavy was this trial."

I shook my head, "Not just the trial… I-I… I've been carrying the guilt for so many deaths – for so many lives… I felt each answer I gave but in return the trial gave me… relief. Oh… you should put me down… I'm covering you in blood…"

Solona lurched forward to begin healing me. Morrigan finally spoke, "I have a wonder – if you will indulge me."

I hummed.

"Will you tell us what the Guardian meant by game?"

"After the trial, I will tell you… everything," I sighed. We all moved forward.

To my surprise, the others were staring blankly – likely having their own heart to heart with a 'ghost'.

I looked around – there was no ghost for me? Whatever – I was too tired to care. Alistair was still holding me for some reason.

Everyone came out of their visions at the same time. Alistair coughed and asked, "Well… who did you see?"

Elissa said, "I… saw my dad."

Alistair nodded, "I saw Duncan."

Theron said, "I uh… saw Tamlen."

Kallian coughed, "Shianni – so I guess it's not all dead people…"

"I saw Leske," Natia shrugged.

"Trian," Duran grumped.

"Jowan," Alim snorted.

"Anders," Solona grinned.

No one else wanted to say; but I could mostly guess; Zev saw Rinna, Leliana saw Dorothea, Morrigan and Sten likely saw something but refused to acknowledge it. So on and so forth.

Next was the trial where we fought us. It was thankfully a one-on-one battle rather than an arena brawl because the specters looked so real.

The specters only seemed to know what we knew when we joined – hence why Sten finished first; he hadn't known Krav Maga back then and the same went for Alistair. Alistairs' specter also couldn't use a pike.

My specter didn't know Qunari moves or several other things, like assassin or bard techniques. Past the 'arena' challenge was the spectral bridge. With so many of us, the Challenge had morphed – the stepping stones were small and you had to have them pressed down in a certain order before you could safely walk the path.

I fell 33 times – it was… discerning. I noticed Elissa had messed up on purpose twice; but only twice and only after I lived through the first fall.

When we finally got across, I began stripping down before we even entered the room.

"What are you doing?" Alistair exclaimed.

"The final trial – walk through flame after laying down everything… because when unburdened, beggars and kings are one in the same."

He groaned, but others began stripping as we entered the room too. The Alter was bigger than I expected – at least big enough for me to put everything I had onto it – even the cooler.

I also went through first – the fire was cold and it hurt… but I made it through.

Once all of us were through and we were retrieving our gear, the guardian appeared.

"You have been through the Trials of the Gauntlet and walked the path of Andraste; and like her, you have been cleansed. You have all proven yourselves worthy. You may approach the Sacred Ashes." With those final words, he turned and left – back to his post.

I shrugged and we approached the Urn.

Wynne spoke, "I could not have asked for a greater honor than to be here – I will never forget this feeling."

Shale scoffed, "What an odd thing to do with the honored dead – to store it in a pot."

Morrigan smirked, "I stand in awe – really."

Sten glanced at me, "It looks like a waste bin."

That one I replied to, "The ashes really can heal any illness. And she didn't care for grandeur – which is why the urn looks plain." Sten nodded to that.

Leliana knelt before the urn and whispered, "I never dreamed I would lay my eyes upon it. I… I have no words to… to express…"

Felassan said, "It is… interesting – and these can really heal Arl Eamon?"

"Yes." I said as I gathered the pinch of Ashes that were needed and we all headed back out.

We began our trek down the mountain after collecting Genitivi who had informed us he would spread the word of this find. I stopped Alistair from objecting. He was upset, "She's your ancestor – and you're going to let her get used like that?"

Genitivi froze but I just said, "I don't care about my connection to her, Alistair – there are a thousand years between us and she disowned my line anyway. Vivial was unwelcome in Andrastes' life – so my connection to Andraste may as well be nil. Besides – our line can only have girls. It's not like it's easy to prove I'm her descendant. The guardian had no right to speak of my 'family' connection when my line was disowned. 'Comes back' my fat arse. Can we just… forget about this? There are tests in place for a reason; not everyone will get past them and only those that pass the test personally can get ashes – and only once. I've known my whole life that I was related to her – and that it was how I got my name. I don't care; that's why I never tried to claim it. The Chantry would believe it with my visions – only those of her line can possibly gain it anyway."

Genitivi coughed, "You're related to Andraste?"

"I am the last of her line since my mother was killed in that coup. The line can only beget daughters – as I said. I will only have daughters. Anyway you could keep that from the Chantry? I owe Alistair and my companions a lot, so… I didn't stop him… but…"

"I can't – they need to know. We've tracked the Daughters of Andraste as much as we could – but we lost them around the Second Blight."

I sighed, "As you will. I'll see you in Denerim, Genitivi." He nodded and left.

We stopped for one more night in Haven – of course, no one felt comfortable letting our guard down when there were still living cultists here – just the ones that were watching the kids, really, but still – so we had a guard rotation going.

But before we went to bed… I explained.

"In my last life; when my name was Amber – Thedas was a fantasy world; a series of books and games. It was my little escape from reality. The tale of the Blight was the first of the games. You could play as one of 7 people… Cousland, Mahariel, Tabris, Amell, Surana, Brosca, or Aeducan – you could choose to be a boy or a girl in the games. Elissa or Aedan; Daylen or Solona… so on. So… I knew how things started for each 'origin' – how each was recruited. I've known how the Blight will go – in a general manner of speaking – the whole time. There was a catch; if I made up my mind to change things, I got a vision showing me just how bad of an idea that was. Jowan was allowed to escape and poison Eamon because we would all die if he didn't. Bryce and Eleanor had to die… because of the same reason. If they had lived, Duncan, Oren and several others would have died. Without Duncan, the recruits would have also died – and as such… there would only be Alistair at the final battle. And if only Alistair lived, then by the time we get to the final battle, he would die in the battle with the Archdemon. Even though he had Morrigan, Leliana and Barkspawn with him – he would die. Sten, Oghren, Wynne, Cullen, Greagoir, Kardol, Zevran, everyone fighting at the final battle… would die. The fact that Morrigan was even there in that shows that Alistair did the damn ritual with her – explain later – and it was even implied that Leliana and Alistair were a couple."

The two exchanged uncomfortable glances. I continued, "You wouldn't have killed the two generals – and guess what would kill you?"

"Oh, Maker…" Alistair muttered, rubbing his face.

"Do you want to know what choices you would have made as the Lone Warden?" I asked.

He nodded so I recited what I knew from the Darkspawn Chronicles, "You recruit Morrigan despite your immense dislike of her. You do her dark ritual which we will talk more about later, but is no longer your problem. You allow Leliana to join the group – and she became your lover. You rescued Barkspawn. You rescued Wynne but did not recruit her – and she fights with the templars in the market square where she is cut down alongside Greagoir and Cullen. You do not recruit the Dwarf Oghren, but he makes his way to Denerim and was in the Tavern when the city was sacked. He died there; fighting. You spared Zevran – but did not recruit him. He fights in the Alienage where he hid from the Crows. You rescued Sten – and he guarded the Denerim Gates as your lieutenant from what I saw. You killed shale over a disagreement when she sided with Caridin instead of Branka – but you chose to have golems in the final battle at the cost of volunteer dwarves. You got the pinch of ashes for Eamon. You convinced the Werewolves to kill the Dalish and gained Werewolf allies for the battle as your personal bodyguards. You saved the mages despite being a templar-trained warrior. You crowned Bhelen as we will and convinced the Legion of the dead to stand with you. You stopped the selling of elves in the alienage to slavery and killed the one taking them. But you let Vaughn Kendalls live. You do turn Ser Cauthrien to your side before the Landsmeet and you execute Loghain before agreeing to marry Anora to avoid a second Civil War between nobles. You would somehow convince Howe to turn against Loghain and join you instead as he was seen fighting with Sten at the Gates. You hired a number of Qunari Mercenaries – Tal-Vashoth, I think; Kadan-Fe. And Bann Teagan even fought with you – commander of the Redcliffe forces in the Market District."

"Makers' Breath, Alistair – you would have been ruthless… killing the Dalish, letting Vaughn and Howe live, killing living people for Golems, and marrying Anora when you were with Leli…" Elissa was pale.

"That's not all – the ritual I speak of is to prevent the death of a Warden when killing an Archdemon – it's necessary to die otherwise – and requires sex with the Witch and produces a child. He would know all that before the ritual – so… he knowingly sired a bastard too." Morrigan hummed.

Alistair fell backwards – just staring at the roof. "What about… Conor?"

"Dude – you are a Templar-Trained warrior but spared the mages… think about that for a minute." I pointed out.

He sat back up and pointed at me, "You see? This is why I don't lead – the Dalish died, golems were being made at the cost of living people, and I married Anora. People died and I bet we were lost without any pants!"

"Uh… you had Duncans' Shield and full armor – the only ones without clothes were Barkspawn and the whore from the pearl."

"… But I still lost…" he sighed.

"Actually – you could have won, but everyone else would have died; all of us. The visions kept shifting between you losing and winning – it wasn't certain. Look – you make a great king – you can make the hard calls if that future was anything to go by. If I didn't know the best outcomes, they are choices I would have made myself. Zathrian made that curse and without me, we wouldn't know how to end it. Golems in war – fuck yes, but I think I can convince Caridin not to commit suicide by lava and keep him around to make new control rods to wake the existing golems. If I didn't know Vaughn was a rapist murder, then I might have let him live for his voice in the Landsmeet. If I didn't know what Howe did, then I might try to flip him too. As to the ritual, if I was told there were only two wardens and one had to be king and the other was getting old, then I would do the ritual just in case the young one had to take the blow. One thing I might have done worse would be that I might have let Jowan do his blood magic ritual since I would be uncertain of if Conor could hold on that long – or I would just kill Conor. Just based on that – you would do better than me if I didn't have foreknowledge. Alistair, you would have done amazingly if you think about it."

He sighed and rubbed his face, "That is the fate we would have had if the Coup on Highever failed?"

I nodded sadly, "If Duncan had died at Highever because of me and my big mouth, then this world might be lost… or it might not; depending on if you won that battle – but we would all be dead… except for you and Morrigan – the only two to live. Even your lover would have died; as would your dog. I am doing my best with what I have at my disposal. Don't you see?"

Sten spoke, "I do see."

Felassan coughed, "Solas would agree with you – and for one of his position…"

Theron shook his head, "I get it."

Solona said "Less people died in the tower during that uprising… because of you."

Alim nodded, "Agreed."

Kallian shrugged, "You couldn't do much for my situation – you weren't a princess yet."

Duran said, "Never would have believed a topsider."

"Sorry Salroka, but same – so Duran and I would be the same as we are now."

Elissa still looked upset, "I… I mean… I suppose… I suppose you really did have no choice."

"I had a choice – I just chose the one best for the future. I don't regret it – but I am sorry."

We all went to bed not long after that… except Shale and Sten – they stayed up for first watch. Though… Shale never slept anyway.

The next day was somber and quiet. Felassan had pulled me aside while Wynne cooked.

"Lethallan – Solas came to me last night; I told him all that transpired in the Temple. I was correct – he did approve of your sacrificing a few for the many."

I hugged him, "It means a lot to me that Solas would stand by me in this. Truthfully, I worried at his reaction of my… heritage."

"He wasn't displeased – in fact, he began pondering how to use it."

I nodded, "Yeah – I wanted to hide it, but Alistair has a really large mouth."

Felassan sniggered and patted my hair, "That he does – he really will make a good king, though; all those choices that he would have made… Werewolves are a stronger force if they can be trusted and there was no promise that Zathrian would have been able to cure anyone; gathering Golems to fight Darkspawn – also a good choice; managing to convince the legion of the Dead to join; and even doing the ritual Morrigan and you spoke of… how does that ritual work?"

"… Blood Magic," I muttered. "Power is power – it matters only in how you use it. They know it would produce a child and that it will prevent death… I don't think anyone has pieced together that it will require Blood Magic to accomplish all of that."

Felassan shrugged, "As you said – and Solas often says the same – power is power."

I sighed and got back to the group. Alim spoke, "So this ritual is no longer Alistairs' responsibility, you said?"

I gave him a droll look, "Gee – I wonder who would possibly be willing to sleep with the witch and have a kid. Hmmm – nope; can't think of anyone."

Morrigan even looked amused, "Indeed – perhaps Duran might do so?"

Alim shot me a pitiful look, "I'm just making sure – I find that I'm very… jealous, Morrigan…"

"That makes sense – Val did say that you two were soulmates," Solona hummed.

Alim relaxed, "Right… does that mean I can teach her Tai Chi?"

"If she wants to learn, yes – it can actually be beneficial for a woman carrying a child to do such slow-moving exercises. It can reduce backaches, constipation, bloating and swelling; boost your mood and energy levels; help you sleep better; prevent excessive weight gain; help promote muscle tone, strength and endurance; shorten labor; reduced risk of needing a C-Section over vaginal birth; and it can also lower risk of a specific medical issue called gestational diabetes. So teaching her – especially such a beneficial art that can completely stop the possibility of demonic possession without limiting her ability – would be a good thing."

Sten spoke, "I want that in writing."

"Of course, Kadan; allow me to guess – the further along your women get in pregnancy, the more they are confined to the bed."

"Yes."

I sighed and pulled out yet another book on the subject and passed it to him…

He spoke, "You will be considered Basalit-An to the Qun as a whole for how much beneficial information you have given. Perhaps, you will even be considered Viddithari."

I shrugged, "Right, let's eat and get on the road… we still need to take care of Orzammar and cure Arl Eamon; the cunt-nugget."

Water spewed from several mouths and noses.

Alistair – choking on his water – asked, "Makers' Breath – what makes you say that?"

"You are aware Goldanna is not your sister – because you know who your mother really is; Eamon doesn't know that you know; Goldanna – for all her faults – loves her children. When the Blight hits Denerim, she will hide her children away and tell them not to make any nose until it's quiet or they hear only living people – and then she will lead the spawn away from her house to save them. I know you visited them – Goldanna has already started trying to use her relation to the 'future king' though she is failing. Eamon will know that you 'know' about her. Those 5 children will be sent to the Anderfels – an Orphanage in Sundarin. Basically as far away from you as Eamon can possibly manage to get them. If the Qunari did not hold Seheron, he would send them there or – better yet in his mind – the Qunari settlement of Qundalon at the very tip of the Anderfels. But he doesn't trust the Qunari with children that could potentially one day hold the throne if people really believe they are your family and if I were to abdicate."

Alistairs' face was dark, "Eamon…"

Elissa shook her head, "Since those kids provide cover to hide Alistair Elven and Magi heritage, we will have them fostered with my brother. Fergus will do it if I ask."

"If he declines, I am fully prepared to see to their upbringing – I have plans in place and people that will gladly look after them in my stead while I am in Kirkwall," I shrugged.

Alistair rubbed his face, "Thank you, for telling me this. Why would Eamon do that, though?"

"It isn't personal; it's just that he doesn't want dirty, commoner blood on the throne when those kids have zero real relation to you at all. If they were really your family, he wouldn't send them away. Eamon does what he needs to for the throne of Ferelden; he doesn't care one wit what it costs him. His sister was the Queen – his brother will be Arl and he will be your seneschal. Conor is a mage; he could have another child with Isolde, but she would die birthing Rowan and Rowan would also be a mage. Eamon will not have an heir of his own."

"Damn," Solona muttered, "Is it Isoldes' family that has so much magic?"

I nodded, "Isoldes' family line had a bit of magic – and something about Redcliffe simply… made it manifest. If Eamon has the daughter I see, he visits both her and Conor at Kinlock frequently. He does love his kids. Alistair never really would have been sent to the Monastery if Isolde wasn't obsessed with her husband. Ironically, she became fixated on the idea of her husband's 'proper Ferelden son' and… did you know she tried to have Conor imitate you? She truly believed you were Eamons son until recently. Eamon sent you away to spare his wife's feelings. Again – it was nothing personal. He was always lecturing you so that you didn't try to lead a revolt against your brother."

Felassan shook his head, "She really didn't believe that he wasn't Eamons?"

"Not a wit. Actually, if Eamon had said he was, then Isolde may have been a bit more accepting just to try and garner more of her husbands' affections because Alistair would have been acknowledged. Eamon denying it made Isolde a bit… crazier."

"Then why is she still so bitter?" Alim asked.

"She's committed to not liking him now – 20 years of not liking him makes it hard to see him in a more positive light."

Natia shook her head, "Salroka, you had a messed-up childhood."

Duran nodded, "I thought my childhood was messed up – and it cumulated in one of my brothers killing the other and exiling me."

Alistair snorted, "Where to first? Orzammar or Redcliffe?"

"Redcliffe – we already have the ashes and it's on the way; besides, I want to see my husbands' face when I bring his former training dummy walking through the door and he realizes that Shale was aware that whole time."

"It married the one that kept hitting me?" Shale asked.

"He didn't know you weren't a statue. I'll get you more augmentation crystals if you don't squish him… but you can scare him a bit with mentions of it."

"… I will accept this deal." Shale hummed.

"Maker – you're cruel to your husband," Theron shuddered, "So glad I never acted on all the flirting we did…"

"Honey, you're gay – it was never going to happen. And I'm not cruel… Cullen will yank me behind him and quake in his boots when he thinks Shale is going to get aggressive, but he won't… Cullen is sweet. If he'd known Shale was a golem and not a statue as he'd been told, then he would have found a different thing to hit. Oh, I bet he has something shiny we can give Shale to make up for that past."

Shale shrugged as we all began walking.

I was eager to see my husband – talking to him every night wasn't the same as seeing him and holding my lover.

The trip was – thankfully – uneventful. Solas had visited me personally in my dreams one night – dragging Felassan into the dream too.

Trudging into the castle… Cullen recognized Shale at once. He groaned, "Tell me I'm wrong…" he said before anyone else could speak.

"Not wrong – Cullen, I'd like you to formally meet Shale. I think you owe it an apology."

Cullen nodded, "Shale – I must apologize for… hitting you… over and over… with a stick that I pretended was a sword…"

Shale crossed her arms, "I want something shiny."

He began digging in his pack and frowned, "The best I can do is a pet rock I found…"

Shale held out her hand and he passed it over, "For now – forgiven." And she marched off.

Teagan coughed, "I must say that I am very… confused."

"That golem decorated the town square of Honnleath; my beloved husband used to use it as a training dummy in his dream to become a templar. Did Mia and the others drop by?" I asked.

Cullen pulled me into a tight hug, "They did; you saved them… I got an earful about the importance of letters and information, but I was too relieved to hear that you saved them from what was happening. They didn't mention the Golem…"

"I hope you don't mind that I told Mia your location. You mentioned once that she scares you so I figured that I should get on her good side…"

"Likely a good idea. Genitivi also stopped by… he was here yesterday and left early this morning." Damn – he must have traveled through the night at one point.

I flinched, "What did he say?"

"You hid your heritage from me…" Cullen sounded hurt.

I shook my head, "I'm sorry, Cullen… it just… never meant anything to me to be a descendent of Andraste. I should have told you – because it means we'd only have daughters and… I mean…"

"I don't care about that – Branson can carry on the Rutherford line – what I'm upset about is that you knew and didn't tell me. I love you…"

"I love you too, Cullen – but would you have believed me if I just said I was descended from Andraste? The Chantry sure as fuck would not – not unless Genitivi tells them. I told you there was Mage blood in my family – Regulan was a magister."

"But you also have Divine Blood – I'm not… angry… I'm just a bit hurt that you thought it was something to hide from me… you know I wouldn't have told anyone if that was what you wanted. I would have believed you – you've never… you've never given me reason to…"

"I knew you would be tortured," I blurted out. He jerked back, "What?"

"I knew what would happen to the circle – but without it, you could never be the one to open the future rehab for Templars leaving the order to cut down on deaths and madness and… I did what I could in cutting down on casualties but it had to happen and… I knew… I didn't know how bad it would be, I admit – but I knew you would be tortured and…"

Alistair sighed, "If the circle didn't 'fall' when it did, we'd all die somehow – we went through this in the temple when we found out she'd known how Ostagar would turn out, how the Couslands would die and… all of it before it ever happened."

Cullen shook his head, "You… knew that I would be tortured…?"

"I'm… so sorry Cullen… I-I… I didn't want to let it happen, but then you wouldn't go to Kirkwall and… you would have stood aside if you did and let that villain kill… me… and our daughter…"

He blanched, "Our daughter…?"

"I told you once that I would do anything for my children; anything… and I'm sorry that it included…"

He kissed me, "If I had to suffer that to save our daughter, then do not apologize, damnit. I thought a lot about what you've said since then; if… when we have kids, I will do all that I could for them too – especially if you can get the Divines' support to keep mage children. So, I forgive you; for knowing and not telling me – I can't be upset with your reasoning."

Elissa groaned, "Now I feel like a bitch."

"Well – you are," Morrigan shrugged, "You tried to kill her."

Teagan, Greagoir, Irving and even Isolde looked wide-eyed at Elissa. Cullen narrowed his eyes, "What?"

I shrugged, "She found out that I knew Bryce and Eleanor would die after I told her I hadn't known."

Alim then threw me under the buss, "She offered Elissa her life once the Blight is over; as penance."

"The Chantry won't allow it – as Andrastes' only known scion…" Greagoir pointed out. I coughed, "Anyway – we have a pinch of ashes; let's go wake Eamon…"

Isolde shakily agreed so we headed upstairs. I opened the vial hallway there and controlled the flakes of ash to swirl around me – just for fun… until I saw people gaping and looking at me in awe.

Shit – they thought this was the ash marking me for my bloodline, didn't they? Son of a bitch…

We got to Eamons' room and we began to heal him.