Chapter 39

Present

The look Grace gave me when I pulled into a parking space outside the establishment I'd selected for our date was priceless. She'd been a good sport so far, accepting and even embracing the mystery she'd been faced with when I'd remained tight-lipped about my plans. She hadn't tried to pester me, or threaten the information out of me, which was a refreshing new take on females faced with secrets, but it was clear from her wide eyed expression now that this was not what she had been expecting.

"Mini golf?" she questioned. Her eyes cut to the sign out front as though she was double checking that she'd read it correctly. "Your big mystery plan is mini golf? What are we, twelve?

I'd been feeling pretty confident about the idea right up until the moment that question left her lips. I hadn't been nervous at all, especially considering how apprehensive I was about asking her out. Now, though. Now I was. My mind was racing as it analysed her tone and body language, searching for clues that would indicate whether she liked it or not. It was definitely out of the box when it came to first dates I'd been on, but at the same time there was this overwhelming thought in the back of my mind that said that grace was different to every other woman I'd ever gone out with, so I needed to make the experience unique.

"Is there a problem?" I asked innocently, holding out hope that she thought it was endearing rather than just plain bizarre.

A smile warmed her expression and my insides, putting me a little more at ease. "It's just not what I was expecting," she said. Gesturing to herself she added, "Clearly."

I followed the gesture with my eyes, drinking in her appearance for a second time with just as much appreciation as the first. She'd gone with a classing black pencil skirt and sheer black blouse combo that accentuated her curves, teaming the look with the kind of heels that Steph wore when she was working in a more business or client related role at Rangeman: pointy toe, pointy heel, very sexy. They weren't the tallest shoes I'd seen, but I could understand how they might cause problems with tonight's activities.

"Lucky for you there's no dress code for mini golf," I said easily.

"Hmm," she murmured, an indulgent sort of non-plussed expression crossing her features. "Note to self: in future always make sure to clarify the ball-park dress code or activity level of a date with Lester Santos."

I grinned. "So, you think we have a future?" I teased undoing my seatbelt and opening my door to get out.

"Let's see how tonight goes first," she hedged, but I could sense that her reservations were weak at best. "After all, you invited me to dinner and instead delivered me to mini golf."

She opened her door as well and I dashed around the front of the car to assist her exit. "I'll have you know," I explained, steadying her as her heels shifted in the loose gravel of the carpark. "That mini-golf is one of the best activities for a first date. You can learn a lot about a person's character from how they act on a mini golf course."

The statement was technically true, but it wasn't necessarily the reason I'd chosen it. I wanted to make this date with Grace as unique and memorable as my feelings for her. I couldn't do that by taking her to my usual haunts.

"Is this where you usually take first dates, then?" she questioned as we reached the windmill façade that marked the entrance to the park and the beginning of a solid, stable path on which to walk. "For some reason I had you pegged for more a dinner and dancing kind of guy."

"You would be correct," I confirmed with a slight nod, reluctantly letting my hand drop from her elbow as she gained her balance. I felt immediately bereft at the lack of contact, but I was aware that this was our first date, and she might not be as comfortable with the touch. She had no qualms laying a reassuring hand on a shoulder or forearm, or guiding my own hands into the right position during the hair classes, but that was a different environment, so until I was sure of her stance on physical affection I was going to play it safe.

I mentally shook my head at that thought. Me, Lester Santos, famed ladies' man in a past life, playing it safe. But I was. And I had been for a long time. Ever since Phoebe died. There was no denying that the decisions I'd made in the last three years were far more calculated than any I'd made when chasing skirts in the clubs, and that was saying something, because a lot of calculation had gone into choosing just the right bed partner for an evening. Dating as a father had brought with it a new set of challenges. I'd had to develop a new system of checks and balances to make sure Kenzie was safe and I wasn't setting myself up for another disastrous situation like with Phoebe.

That's why I had the agreement with Tori. It was simple, but effective. She made herself available when my sexual tension became too much, and I needed to open the valve and release some of the pressure. She was talented, willing, clean, infertile. And she knew not only how to keep her mouth shut about our encounters, but how to file away any questions she might have about what we were doing or why. Meeting with Tori once a month kept me in the safe zone as far as tension goes, and she'd never turned me away when stress got the better of me and I needed an extra session in between. It was like therapy, but more fun, and less touchy-feely crap.

Seeing Tori on a regular basis allowed me to go on dates purely for social purposes. Testing compatibility outside of the bedroom instead of my previous methods of focusing only on the bedroom. I still had never progressed to a second date with a woman, but things already felt different with Grace. And not just because I'd decided to deviate from my standard plan.

"I usually stick to the three D's for dating," I told her conversationally.

She shot me a quizzical glance, intrigued. "Three D's?" She held up her fingers counting off. "Dinner, dancing… what's the third?"

"Drinks."

Her eyebrows performed an adorably suggestive wiggle. "Is there a fourth D at the end of the night if all goes well?" she asked.

I sent her my best innocent expression, knowing full and well exactly where her mind had gone. "you mean the safe Drop-off home?" I said. "It would be poor manners to do a Ditch and Drive if the date had been going well, don't you think?"

The air seemed to sparkle around her as she let out a soft chuckle, turning to face me on the second step that led up to the wooden deck surrounding the main office. "So, no Dick, then?"

My reaction was immediate and automatic, blank face falling into place as a sobering cold washed through me. "I don't do that anymore," I said flatly. I'd worked hard to leave my womanising past behind me, but there were still instances when I went out with a woman who had heard the tales of my promiscuity and expected me to perform the same as I would have before Phoebe and Kenzie. It seemed like no matter how much effort I put into turning my life around, my reputation always found a way of reminding me of my roots.

The surprise on Grace's face, combined with her expectations that I would be smooth and suave and take her to a nice restaurant suggested that there was a definite possibility that she knew about my past.

"You don't have sex?" she questioned, not moving from that same step, her gaze searching my impenetrable expression. For what, I didn't care to contemplate. "Like, at all?"

Forcing myself to loosen the grip of my emotionless mask, I let out a resigned sigh. This was not how I'd envisioned our date starting out. I thought mini golf was an wonderfully safe option that would lead to laughs and wholesome good times and prevent me from even thinking about how much I'd like to have her in my bed. You can't have serious conversations with an oversized clown head right beside you waiting to swallow a golf ball, right? Wrong. I was now faced with the task of delicately explaining about Phoebe, so she'd understand my visceral reaction to her suggestion of sex on a first date.

"You're gonna find out eventually," I said, wanting to avoid her eye contact to make this easier, but knowing that it was the coward's way out. "So, I may as well tell you now." I took her arm once more as I climbed the stairs beside her, and lead her over to one of the tables on the deck.

"Lester, oh my gosh!" Grace gasped as she plopped down on the bench seat, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. "Don't tell me your dick fell off!"

A shocked bark of laughter burst from my chest at her words. "No1" I exclaimed, instinctively reaching a hand down to cover my crotch and reassure myself that everything was still exactly where it was meant to be. "God, that would be awful! Why would you say something like that!?"

She relaxed her concerned posture – which I now realised was an act – and folded her hands on the table. "Because a wall slammed down on your expression, and I don't like seeing you like that," she explained, indicating for me to take a seat beside her. "You're usually so… jovial."

"Jovial?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Like Santa?"

"You know what I mean," she defended. "You're an easy going guy who's quick to crack a joke. When your face went dead like that all I wanted to do was wipe it away and bring back the class clown who'd do anything for his daughter, even if it made him look silly. The dick thing was the first thing that came to mind."

I nodded, not knowing how else to acknowledge the sentiments and insights she'd revealed. I don't think I'd ever felt this seen by anyone before. "Okay," I allowed. "But if we're going to continue to date, I think you should know more about…" I paused half a second, searching for a non-ominous way to phrase what needed to be said. "who I am," I finished lamely.

The look she sent my way made me feel simultaneously like she understood me on a soul level and like she thought I was just a little bit dense, which, to be fair, I had been known to be from time. "Correct me if I'm wrong," she said slowly. "But isn't that the point of dating? To get to know someone?"

There was a short silence while I acknowledged that she was right and also continued to search for a tactful way to explain about my past with Kenzie's mom and how that had led to a relatively dry period in my life. Before I could form my thoughts into cohesive words, though, Grace was reaching across the table and placing a steady, reassuring hand on my forearm, just like she did when I was struggling with a hairstyle in class.

"You don't have to tell me whatever it is that stole you away just now," she said quietly, peering up at me through her lashes. "I get it. Your life is complicated what with your being a single dad and bearing the weight of whatever happened to your wife. So, how about for tonight, you set your worries and obligations aside and just show me a good time." Her eyes widened as she realised the implications of her word choice. "Uh, on the golf course, I mean," she added hastily, and her mind must have gone to the same place mine did, because her cheeks turned a delightful rosy colour and she let a quiet, "Oh fuck," followed by another amendment to her statement. "I mean, let's go play mini golf."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, fighting back the veil of darkness that had shrouded me only a minute before. If I wasn't mistaken, I'd say Grace liked me more than she'd let on.

"Well," she said primly, standing and using the act of brushing invisible lint from her skirt to avoid my gaze. "I'm glad you're happy again, at least."