Chapter 40 – Red is the Rose
It wasn't long before the girls came to fetch me and start tending my wounds. I was at the kitchen table and they were making me drink some Devil Springs Vodka from the saloon. I wretched and coughed as I swigged the clear drink from the huge bottle.
"It's TERRIBLE !", I complained, wanting to vomit, "It tastes like VARNISH !"
"Keep drinking it.", Esme sternly demanded, "It'll numb you when I start doin' your stitches."
"People PAY to drink this stuff ?!", I blinked and put the bottle to my mouth again as Emma carefully put a warm, wet cloth to my other hand.
"Are you sure you're alright, Esme ?", I asked her again. She had a bit of red bruising on her lower neck bit she was too busy to care about herself right now.
"For the five hundredth time, I'm fine.", she waved a hand, "I've been manhandled before, stop making a fuss."
The other girls were all there, too, doing their part to help me. Rebecca was helping Esme boil some things that they were going to use to sew up my torn open hands.
"You were so manly, Six.", Kitty kissed the back of my head, playing with my hair, "The way you grabbed that knife with your BARE hands…I almost swooned !"
I felt a very naughty tingle in my body…and I smiled back at her.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Kitty.", Esme looked annoyed at her now, "Are you doing something to help ?"
"She is.", I smirked in an improper way, leaning my head back into her fingers as she giggled, kissing my head. Emma was smiling at us, too, and I knew when Esme was finished with me, I would get some special attention from my girls.
"Oh damnation.", Esme was not in the mood for this right now, "Boy, keep drinking that bottle ! When everything is ready, I want you absolutely dopey !"
"Alright, alright." I almost rolled my eyes, "I'm drinking it !"
I took another big swig of it, choking it down, groaning, "FUCK !"
Esme allowed me to swear since I was on my way to getting very drunk for the first time.
"You were so brave, Six.", Emma said adoringly, "I thought you were gonna die."
"So did I.", I mumbled as Esme was working behind us.
"Child, if you don't tell your harem to start helping out, I'm gonna kill all of ye !"
"Start helping out.", I repeated to Emma and we both giggled together. I guess this stuff is starting to work. Or maybe I'm just glad to be alive. I had won. And James was gone. It felt like a miracle.
"Next time, none of you better DARE hold me back.", Esme voiced it now, "Any one of us could have been helping the boy. You smash James in the back of the head with a vase, a poker…a bottle…anything! Standing there watching doesn't help anyone, does it ?"
I had just taken another mouthful of the vodka. It was starting to taste better…smoother.
"I didn't want any of you in it.", I informed, "It was MY job. I'm the man of the house."
"You're a young man.", Esme pointed out, "Not ready for such things. I knew I should've gotten someone to teach you to fight."
"I think he was GREAT.", Joanna chimed in.
"Violence isn't something to be happy about you little nits.", Esme played the mother again, schooling us, "It's something to deal with, sometimes, when you have no other choice. But don't celebrate it."
"So…", Amy asked, "If James is not the man of the house now, is Six the new boss ?"
Esme looked like she hadn't considered that until now.
"I guess he is.", she perked her lips into a little bow, "He's a man, he can legally own the place. We can't. It should've gone to him when Edward died, but he was just a boy then. Better to have Six run things than have some new man come in here."
"You're our owner now !", Kitty put her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek as I smiled.
"Really ?", I couldn't believe it as I asked Esme with my eyes.
"I can't think of any better man.", she dotted my nose with her finger.
"Thank you.", I heard myself say, taking a breath, "I don't know if I know how to do it, though."
I had never been in charge of anything to do with the house itself…the johns…the brothel. Did I want to be involved in that part of it ?
"We'll all help.", Esme assured, "We'll teach you."
"I'll only do it if we agree that this place is OURS…not just mine.", I said, "We can all run it…together."
All the girls looked very excited. And Esme looked proud of me.
"You're lovely, you know that, Six ?", Esme leaned in and kissed me on the forehead.
"Yes.", Esme accepted, looking at the other girls, "Yes ?"
"Yes.", they were all agreeing to be my partners. This was a very strange thing that never happened back then. Women could own nothing. And on paper, it would look like I owned it all. But within the walls, we would all be equals. This was a brand new concept.
"Well, you can't call yourself Six.", Emma pointed out, "If you're going to be the boss…you need a real name. No offense intended, love."
I guess the booze was starting to work because I wasn't offended at all. And she was right.
"Yea, I guess I do.", I pondered aloud, "What's a good name ?"
"Mmm", Kitty said, "How about Patrick ?"
That didn't sound bad.
"Oh no, Danny !", Emma grinned, "You LOOK like a Danny. "
Esme made a face. "I hate that name."
Goodbye Danny.
Esme smiled warmly, liking this exercise of choosing a real name for me. Maybe she always wanted to do this.
"I like the name Dillon for you.", my mother tilted her head sideways a bit.
"Call me it.", I suggested, "I want to hear how it sounds."
"Get to your chores, Dillon !", she pretended to scold me.
Kitty curled her arms around my neck again and held my head to her lacy breasts, whispering, "Let's do it again, Patrick…"
Mmmm…now that sounds heavenly. We shared a private little chuckle over that one.
Esme shook her head as the other girls put in their suggestions. Maybe this was too big a decision for me while I was trying to get liquored up.
Seamus and Kyle were two other choices…and they all sounded like good names.
"How about Neil ?", Amy asked.
We all looked at her, making a face of disgust.
"Alright, no.", she put her hands up.
But then I thought of a great name…a name I loved.
"How about…Edward ?", I said and they all stopped talking. The other girls didn't know Edward but they had heard lots of stories about him, from both Esme and myself. Esme smiled at me with little tears in her eyes.
"Oh my Lord.", she breathed, "I can't believe I didn't think of it."
"His name is already on the saloon sign.", I used logic first then I added, "And the original paperwork. We could just burn James' papers, they were forged anyway. And, Edward was my father. It's only right that I should be named after him. Is that…alright ?"
Esme touched my cheek and she kissed my other cheek.
"I think that's just perfect, my love.", she said like a very pleased mother, "Edward was my Da, too…now it looks like he'll be my son."
The other girls looked at me and thought about it.
"Yea, Edward DOES suit you.", Joanna decided aloud.
"Eddie boy.", Emma teased a little, smirking at me, "Ready Eddie…"
"Don't call me that.", I gave her a playful frown, taking another drink.
"I like it.", Rebecca agreed. So it was decided then. I was Edward now.
I put the bottle down later, only a little bit of the liquor sat in it now…and Esme was sewing up my right hand first…and my eyes just stared at the red and gold design on the bottle…the word CULLEN staring back at me as the needle went into my skin…I didn't feel a thing.
Things after that were great. Esme taught me how to do the books, it was a good thing I had been taught math. She taught me how to run the saloon – she taught all of us, actually. Every girl would now have a hand in helping run the business. And they were remarkably great at it, too. Soon, we were busier than ever, and some nights the girls had to turn men away because there was just too many of them for five girls. Esme was 40 years old now and decided she was too old to service the customers in that way anymore. She was crazy, though. She didn't look 40. She was just as lovely as ever and didn't have a single wrinkle on her face. But, still, I was glad she didn't have to subject herself to that part of the job anymore. Now she ran the house, as she always had before.
Also, in the afternoons, Esme and I taught lessons to the girls, as she had once done for me, with the other ladies that were here back then. And it all happened in the same kitchen that was my classroom once.
I taught music, art, math, reading and writing. Esme taught history, cooking, farming. She wanted the girls to have minds and not just bodies. She always said, "The body is temporary…the mind is forever."
The girls flourished, not having a man to be afraid of, not being hit, not being forced to do anything they didn't want to do. They all seemed so much happier now, free. And I was the one man they seemed to trust. I was honored by that.
My 17th birthday was one of the best days of my life. Every one of the girls had a special time with me and we had a wonderful dinner made by all of them. Esme made my favorite chocolate cake and back then there WAS the tradition of putting candles on it, one for every year of your life.
When I laid in my bed, I heard the door creep open a bit…I looked, hoping it wasn't one of the girls…I was tired. Not that I would turn them away.
But it was Esme. She smiled and tiptoed inside…bringing me another little piece of my cake.
"Hello, Máthair.", I smiled back, sitting up a bit as she came over and sat on the bed.
"I love when you call me that.", she stroked my cheek, handing me the plate of cake.
"I love saying it.", I answered, meaning that with all my heart, taking the cake and putting it into my mouth.
She laughed at the way I ate the cake.
"You still eat like a little piglet.", she observed.
"Sorry.", I felt my cheeks warm a bit as I licked some frosting off my thumb.
"You know, I was just wondering…", I began, "I never celebrated my birthday before I came here. I didn't even know WHEN my birthday was. Did Elizabeth tell you ?"
"No.", Esme looked down at the blanket, moving her finger over the design, "This is the day you came here, to our house. I decided long ago…that this would be a good day to celebrate."
I was touched by that sentiment and my lips smiled more at her.
"I'm so lucky.", I took her hand, "That my path led me here. It's the one thing that's gone right in my life. Being here…being your son. I should tell you every day how much I love you…how much I appreciate all you've done for me. I can never repay you…if I worked for a million years…"
She shook her head at me, grinning.
"Silly boy.", she wiped some chocolate from my lip with her thumb now, "You don't have to repay me or thank me. I'm your Ma. You thank me every day just by waking up. And I love you, too. More than all the stars in the sky…"
I took a second to thank my stars for all I had at that moment…so much love.
"Will you sing to me, Ma ?", I charmed her with my good smile.
"You sure you don't want one of your girls to sing to you ?", she teased.
"No, just you.", I said, "Only you."
She began to open her mouth but I said, "Wait !"
I got down in the covers and waited for her to come over here and hold me like she used to.
She laughed, "Aren't you getting too old for this, child ?"
"Come on, Ma.", I grumbled as she got into place. And I sighed, laying my head down on her legs, cuddling in, my arms around her, "It's my birthday."
"You're huge now.", she giggled, "You're gonna break me legs !"
"Thanks to you.", I reminded, closing my eyes,"Sing."
"Yes Sir.", she scoffed, tapping his head with all that wild hair as he gave a little laugh.
"Come over the hills, my bonnie Irish lass
Come over the hills to your darling…
You choose the road, love, and I'll make the vow
And I'll be your true love forever.
Red is the rose that in yonder garden grows
Fair is the lily of the valley.
Clear is the water that flows from the Boyne
But my love is fairer than any…
'Twas down by Killarney's green woods that we strayed
When the moon and the stars they were shining
The moon shone its rays on her locks of golden hair
And she swore she'd be my love forever…"
That was the last birthday I ever had. It was a great one, much better than my first few.
Only months later, everything went so horribly wrong. Esme was shouting at the girls to get their weapons ready…I was already checking old Edward's rifle, loading it and checking the action on it.
"Get in your rooms.", I shouted out calmly, keeping my head as I went down the hallway and down the stairs, "Shoot anything that comes through the door."
Kitty and Emma ran past me and they were obeying what I told them. I kept my expression flat and even, even though I felt sick to my stomach inside.
He was back. But I was a year older now…and no longer a child. This time, he would die. And he wouldn't TOUCH any of my girls or my mother.
We had prepared for this possibility for over a year now. Esme went to her doorway and I turned, exchanging a silent look with her. I gave a firm nod and she took a deep breath, closing her door and locking herself inside.
I love you, Máthair. Don't worry. I will protect you this time.
Each girl would be in their separate rooms, each armed with the best pistol on the market now. They were loaded already…and the girls knew how to fire them. We had practiced many, many times outside. If someone were to bust into one room and all the girls were together, it would be easy to hurt them all. Being separate was safer.
Plus, if someone was trying to get into their rooms, that meant that they had to get past me. I was not about to let that happen. But it was just a precaution, in case he brought friends with him.
The fucker was standing out there, in our fields a distance in front of the house. He just waited, without a horse, his face amused looking as I strode up to him, a few yards away.
I aimed my rifle at the dark figure and I shouted, "Fuck off, James ! I warned you not to come back here ! I will give you to the count of ten to leave. If you're not moving by then, I will open fire."
He can't say he wasn't warned.
"One…", I cocked the rifle, "Two….three…"
And James started laughing…at me. I wanted so badly to fire right now…blast his head open like a pumpkin. Why don't I ?
"Go ahead and shoot, Seven…", he mocked my old name now by using the wrong number, "Or was it Eight ?"
"Five…Six…Seven…", I kept counting, not wanting to hear any more of his bullshit. The wait to get to ten was killing me. My finger was ready to pull the trigger…and end this once and for all.
"Eight…nine….ten.", I finished with a delighted snarl of my lips and fired my weapon, aiming right for his round, empty head.
"Fuck you, James.", I smiled and pulled the trigger, the rifle kicking back hard against my shoulder…but I had practiced with this before.
This was a Henry rifle, the newest model, and was able to shoot with no loading in between, a lever action repeating rifle. I waited for him to fall but he didn't. He didn't move. I had always hit my target before, had practiced this until I could almost shoot with my eyes closed and hit my mark.
Maybe I did miss, now that I was shooting at an actual person.
I pushed then pulled the metal lever that popped the used shell out of the chamber and loaded the next bullet. This rifle had ten bullets loaded into it, nine more than I thought I would need. But it was as full as I could make it.
James didn't make any move to step forward…or away either. He stood his ground. Maybe he wants to die.
I took a breath and aimed again…and fired again, the neat clicking of the rifle letting me know that it was firing properly…and the rifle bucked back against my steady shoulder. That should do it now. I waited for his head to explode. It didn't.
"What the fuck ?", I croaked to myself as James kept standing there.
"Is something wrong, Seven ?", James mocked me, laughing.
I have eight shots left. And he's not armed. And not moving. This should be easy !
"Try again, kid.", he held his arms out, "I'll hold real still for you."
I frowned more and yanked the lever out and then in again, the click of the golden shell ejecting again from the rifle. I aimed now for the chest. It was sure to hit him there and put him down, and if he survived that, I could approach and shoot him again.
I shot now, twice in a row with no pauses between. The blast of sound echoing into the night air.
And when I looked, James was still there, standing there, arms outstretched, laughing at me even harder.
Swallowing, I checked the fucking chamber. There WERE live rounds in there, waiting to be fired.
"Do you have bullets in there ?", James was enjoying my discomfort as I took a step back and put it to my shoulder again, blinking, making sure my eyes were still working.
"I'll wait.", James toyed with me, still unmoving.
I took a couple more shots, aiming for his chest. Nothing. I felt my stomach quivering inside…and my brain told it to hold itself right now. We were finishing this. If I have to walk right up to the fuckface and shoot his nose, I will kill him.
"Is this as good as you ARE ?", James taunted, "While you're trying to protect your whore mother and your collection of skags ?"
"RRRRRR !", I growled, taking a few steps closer and making a stance again, aiming…and firing once…pulling the lever up and down…then again. And again.
James was chuckling when the smoke cleared and I felt a very razor sharp breath pull out of my throat.
"I think that makes nine.", James was keeping count as I was, "That means you only have one shot left."
I pushed and pulled the lever again, and braced it to my shoulder, about to aim and take my final shot.
"Now, Eight.", he called me now, "After that, I'm going to come at you. And I'm gonna kill you. Then I'm going to that house and I'm gonna kill your mother…and all the sluts in there…one by one. So you better not miss this time."
You're not killing SHIT.
"I'll make it real easy for you, how would that be ?", James asked, starting to walk towards me, his arms still out.
He was fucking with my head…I tried to move back as he approached so I could shoot….but in seconds he was there, right in front of the barrel of my rifle. How did he get there so fast ?
"Come on, Eight.", he grinned, and he placed the tip of his nose into the hole, "Shoot me. You won't miss this time."
I had nothing to lose. And I fired.
What happened next was unbelievable. The bullet passed through his nose…went through his head…came out the other side…and in milliseconds, before I could even blink once, the hole in his face closed right up and went back to being smooth and alive. No blood. No damage.
Then something red began to glow…and I was it was his eyes…two glowing red eyes ! And his skin was so white…his smile more evil than I remembered it.
"Fuck !", I yelled and tried to smash James over the head with the butt of my rifle. It splintered into pieces like it was a weak twig.
"Fuck !", I shouted again, going to my plan B. I had a hunting knife in my belt in the small of my back.
I pulled it out and lunged at James, stabbing him dead center in the chest with it. The knife's blade also crumbled into pieces of shit upon impact.
Dumbfounded, I looked at the hilt of the knife…seeing nothing but the handle I was clutching onto.
Again, the giddy laughter echoed in my ears as James put his arm around me.
"Aww, I'm sorry, Seven.", he faked sympathy, "You failed ! Again !"
I tried to shove away from him but his hold on me was like cement.
"Don't be angry with ME, little prince.", he began to walk towards the house, his arm around my neck like a vise, "It's not my fault you are so INEPT and useless at EVERYTHING!"
"No…", I tried to stop him from his slow walk towards everyone I cared about, "Get the FUCK away from them !"
"Shhh shhh shhhh….baby….", he grabbed my chin and forced my face to look at his, "You are going to get a front row seat. I've decided that you deserve to watch the whole thing happen. I could've let you die first…but you just irritate me, so…congratulations."
"Was that the whole plan ?", James asked, as if curious, "Just YOU…shooting me ? Then stabbing me ? We already played with knives and I think it was a tie."
I was struggling against him with everything I had but it was like nothing. And before I could blink again, I was on my face on the grass and he was forcing my hands behind my back…and tying my wrists with rope.
"NO !", I kicked and thrashed around but he seemed to have the strength of ten men, easily holding me down as he bound my wrists in no time at all. The ropes were thick and coiled around several times…the knots tight and inescapable.
Then I felt a rough length of rope coil around my neck and it tightened securely around my adam's apple, almost cutting off air.
"I've had more fight from a little girl !", he mocked, lifting me to my feet and shoving me ahead of him, and he held the other end of the rope around my neck.
"Walk, bitch.", he demanded. But I wouldn't walk him to the house where my whole family was.
"NO !", I stopped and refused to walk.
This didn't bother him. With a graceful kick of his boot to the right side of my knee, I felt everything shatter and break…I heard the cracks ! And I screamed out in excruciating pain, falling to my face again.
"There goes the knee and your lower leg.", James crouched down beside me as I watched the world become fuzzy and purple around me. I hated how my voice sounded, so pathetic and weak…howling out from the agony.
"It's okay, don't walk, Five.", James mocked, "I'll just drag you."
And he pulled the rope around my neck, slowly behind him as I slid after him, on my back, my one good leg kicking, my throat choking as I fought to breathe. I could get a little air…but not much.
"You're going to love this.", James assured, "Trust me. And for the grand finale, a big surprise for YOU."
We were at the door of the house…and I had locked the main door. But James just kicked it and it fell right over. He walked inside the parlor over the crushed green door that I had painted last year…and dragged me along behind him.
"Aww, are you having a problem breathing, my sweet ?", he asked as he sat me on my knees beside the staircase. He was wrapping the end of my rope leash around the slats and securely tied them off so my neck was pinned there, still not giving me much room to breathe. But that wasn't even on my mind because I was screaming from being put on my broken knee and leg.
"Ohhhh…", he tapped my cheek twice, "Sorry about that, sweetheart. Does that hurt ?"
And he put his boot to my crumpled knee and pressed down upon it as I heard a more shrill, piercing cry coming out of my mouth now. I prayed Esme and the girls would stay in their rooms, and not come out to help me. But if he could withstand bullets and break down doors…
My eyes stared blankly and hollowly up at the ceiling, my mouth hanging open as I tried to deal with intense pain. I wanted to beg for mercy and beg him to stop…but I refused to give him that.
"Hmm.", James looked around, "I guess nobody cares about you. Screaming like this…and no one comes ? That's sad."
This time, he kicked my knee as hard as he could…and everything turned bright white.
"Don't fall asleep, now, honey.", James slapped my face until I could see again…the nice emerald velvet chairs and sofa came into view as I stared at them like a dumb animal, leaning forward, not wanting to put my weight on my broken leg, so that meant the rope was digging into my throat again.
"What a fierce protector you are, Two and a Half", he called me next…"Why don't I go and take a peek around…see where your girlfriend is hiding ?"
"Noooo…", I said with a strangled croak, my voice almost pleading now, with him to have mercy on them.
"Ohhh yesss…", James grabbed the back of my head by the hair and yanked it, "You want to have one last look at her, don't you ?"
"Don't HURT THEM !", I growled with the last of my strength, trying to look threatening and probably failing miserably.
"I'm not going to hurt them…", he grabbed my chin again, shoving my face away from him, "I'm going to KILL them. If they were worth a damn in bed, I'd rape them, too, if you can even rape a whore."
"Nooo, leave them ALONE !", I winced as I tried to lift up on my good leg, the other in a heap under my body.
"You wait here, darlin'", he let my face go as he moved up the stairs…in a blur….at an inhuman speed…or maybe I was just hallucinating…I was desperately trying to free myself from the ropes around my wrists, my voice whimpering as I couldn't budge out of it.
"JAMES !", I roared a warning as I heard a door smashing…a woman screaming…shots being fired….one…two…three shots. I could smell the odor of the fired pistol I had given each girl for protection. And in a flash, James was coming down the stairs with Emma in his arms. She looked angry, struggling and swearing at him.
She had her dark brown hair up, a couple of long wisps hanging down around her neck. Wearing her usual nightwear, the frilly, low cut white garment over her breasts, the peach, silky corset laced up tight behind her, a bow tied at the bottom. And the little thin pantaloons showing lots of thigh and leg, black stockings underneath those, and of course the shiny red shoes that buckled around her ankles.
"EMMA, NO !", I screamed the moment I saw her, then I found myself begging like a dog.
"James, PLEASE don't do this, I'm begging you !", I shouted over Emma's cursing as he forced her to stand in front of me.
"Hands off me, you little prick !", she was trying to fight him off but it looked pointless. I wanted to warn her before he broke her leg next.
"Shut up you little swine !", he shoved her to her knees, "This is your favorite position, isn't it, Emma ?"
"Tell your precious, here, how many times you've been on your knees for ME.", James spat out the words as he took a knife out from his belt, placing it upon Emma's throat.
"NO !", I roared, now up on both my legs, straining to move so I could stop this, "James, kill ME…kill ME ! Let her GO !"
"Shut your mouth !", James hollered over both of us, "If you're screaming like a little girl, you won't hear the full impact of this now. You want to hear your beloved's last words, don't you ?"
I couldn't catch my breath but I didn't care, I was going insane. Emma wore a look of defiance, hating James, as she saw what he had done to me.
"Fuck you, you bastard.", she spat in James' face. I froze, knowing that would be the last straw for James.
"I don't even need the knife.", he said, and he stabbed the blade into the wood post above my head.
"Watch THIS, SIX.", James smiled wickedly and took his fingers, curling them inward…and they grabbed her throat, peeling the flesh away as if it were paper. Blood gushed out like a fountain as Emma seized and jerked, her eyes round and glassy as James lifted her off the floor, as if she were a rag doll…and he held her gushing neck over my head, letting it shower over my screaming face.
I had no more thought…I sobbed and screamed…crying and hyperventilating, feeling the thick crimson moving over my face…going down my neck…
"EMMA !", I shrieked, "EMMA !"
Emma's face looked dead when I was able to look up again…blinking the blood out of my eyes. Her skin was pale and her eyes vacant, almost like a doll's eyes now. Her clothes were bloody and stained red when James sat her, like a doll, next to me against the staircase.
"OH MY GOD !", I wept as I stared at her next to me, a corpse.
"EMMA !", I sobbed, choking and panting, "EMMA !"
I realized it was no use screaming her name anymore. She couldn't hear me. She was dead, a huge, crude hole in her neck. In my horror, I felt my head leaning against hers…as the tears from my eyes made white lines in my now red face.
"Aww, isn't that cute ?", James enjoyed the macabre scene he was watching.
"Oh my God, you Goddamn MONSTER !", I lurched towards James now, choking myself with the rope again…ready to burst these fucking ropes around my wrists…but they wouldn't break or rip apart.
"Don't use up all your energy, now.", James smirked down at my wet, red face, "There's more to see."
"NO !", I wildly struggled now, not making a dent in freeing myself, even if it hurt me, I didn't care.
"STOP THIS PLEASE ! PLEASE !", I cried, not ashamed anymore to grovel if would save one of their lives.
"I'll DO ANYTHING you want !", I shouted, "ANYTHING ! You want the house and the saloon ? Take it – it's yours ! We'll all leave right now I swear to GOD !"
"Ohhh, innocent little Six…", he squatted and stared into my helpless face, "It's too late for that. You were going to cut my throat, remember ?"
"I LET YOU GO !", I also reminded, hating myself now for that.
"And what a GREAT and NOBLE thing THAT WAS !", James said, "And how utterly stupid! You were going to just let me die…bleed out, wasn't it ? Well now it's YOU who'll get to bleed out…but not before you watch all the bitches bleed before you."
"They have NOTHING to do with THIS !", I hollered, "This is between US ! So leave them out of IT !"
"No.", James took his knife out of the post and put the tip to my nose menacingly, "Because I gave those little PIGS a home and a life…and they were all standing there, watching while you were about to kill me. They're your trash. And they can go with you."
"So, I know Emma was your favorite fuck.", James tapped the knife tip to his own white teeth, "And if I recall correctly…your second favorite was…Kitty. Am I right ?"
"James, please…what can I do ?", I felt violently ill, "I will do anything you want…don't HURT THEM PLEASE !"
I was past having dignity…I cried like a baby as I groveled.
"I'll be right back. Wait here.", James winked and took off up the stairs, going to Kitty's room.
"OH my God !", I jerked and struggled to break free with everything I had, my breathing erratic and too fast. Maybe I could break the wooden slats that my neck was tied to. I didn't care if I broke my own neck.
"JAMES !", I roared as more wood cracked…and thudded to the floor…and more gunshots. Three shots. I knew the same scene was playing out now in Kitty's room. And that James would survive it just fine.
The other girls could surely hear all this, but we had gone over this. They would not come out of their room unless I gave the word. I hoped that they were using the knotted ropes I had given them to get out the windows. In case of fire, if James ever decided to set the place ablaze. I knew Esme wouldn't run and leave me here, even though I wish she would.
Oh my God. Esme. I have to get out of these fucking ropes !
I prayed to God with all my might…I begged him to save them, and not to worry about me. Just save them, please !
This was my fault…because I let the bastard GO ! I let him ride away, and now this was happening because of me. And I couldn't stop it, and I had to watch it all happen now.
I heard Kitty scream and I glanced at Emma's face…breaking down once more as his footsteps approached down the stairs.
My mind was scrambling in my skull and my eyes darting around like crazy as he stepped in front of me, holding the knife to Kitty's throat now.
"Edward.", Kitty whimpered, seeming to be more worried about ME than she was about herself. She saw the blood…and then Emma…she was scared and trembled, tears in her eyes.
"Kitty…", I wept, "I'm so sorry, please…James, please DON'T !"
Kitty closed her eyes and began to mumble to herself…upon hearing the words savior and heaven I realized she was praying.
"James, this is not the way a MAN fights another MAN !", I tried this tact, "Let her go, please, she's NO THREAT TO YOU !"
James just huffed at me.
"You're no man.", he stated and then swiped his blade across Kitty's throat…a thin line showing…then red slowly moving from the line…then the profuse spurting began…I howled out in my private Hell as James lifted Kitty over me…and let me bathe in her blood next.
I looked down as it rained upon my hair, moving down over my face, going into my mouth, in my nose as I raged.
I heard Kitty struggling to breathe…and then in seconds, no sound at all. I was too afraid to look up and see another dead pair of eyes in her face. I stared down between my legs and stared at the rug that was stained with red also. I was growling like a hurt tiger…
"Pretty Kitty.", James taunted again as he placed her on the other side of me now, laying her head on my shoulder as I hunched over, feeling myself slip further and further into insanity.
Next was Rebecca…then Amy…then Joanna. Each one wanted to help ME as I had wanted to save THEM.
After Joanna, I was a creature, a howling, empty thing, covered in the blood of five woman I had loved. My mind spun as I realized what would happen next. Esme.
Why didn't any of them flee the house and escape ? WHY ?! Were they so intent on helping me that they would give up their own lives ?
"James," I shook my head to get some of the blood out of my eyes as I looked up at him, "You killed them all. It's done now. Please…just leave…kill me first. I won't fight you. But, please, that's my MOTHER. She's the one who stopped me from KILLING YOU ! Just let her go, I beg you, with all that I am…you had a mother ! PLEASE !"
"I see what you're saying.", James sounded like he was listening now, "I DID love my mother."
A ray of hope glimmered faintly in my corner of Hell.
"But then she abandoned me.", James added.
Fuck !
"James.", I was heaving breaths out of my chest.
"Let's watch Mama die.", he smiled…and was breaking into Esme's room. I doubled over and sobbed as the pistol shots rang out….one…two…three…just like all of them had done.
The girls were all mangled corpses, sitting around me, also a bloody mess, tied up like a dog. I hated that she would have to see this. I hated that she would die with me sitting here, unable to do a damned thing about it.
"Here comes your dear mother.", James and Esme's footsteps were coming and I heard Esme gasp as she took in the gory scene before her. I looked up, ashamed to even look into her eyes. I had failed them all.
"What have you DONE to my boy ?!", Esme looked enraged as she tried to wriggle free of James' grip, his arm around her upper chest.
"Ma…", I sobbed, "I'm so sorry…I couldn't stop him—"
"Son of a BITCH !", Esme was lashing out at James, unable to free herself, "I'll KILL YOU ! I'LL KILL YOU !"
"You have thirty seconds to say goodbye.", he informed us with a cold stare.
"Six…", Esme cried, "Edward…this is not your fault. Good doesn't always win, especially when you're dealing with the DEVIL !"
I just sobbed more, rocking a little, knowing nothing I could say would stop James…what could I say to Esme now ?
"I love you, Máthair.", I breathed, "I'm so sorry…"
"Edward, look at me.", she said, unafraid and calm.
I looked up at her, in disbelief.
"I LOVED being your Máthair.", she smiled sweetly at me, "I have loved every minute we've spent together. Your love is worth a million deaths. And don't cry, love. We'll be together in a minute…and there will be no more pain…no more death. We'll go to paradise…together. I heard they have frogs there…"
She was trying to make a joke, if you can believe that. Her strength knew no bounds.
I was nodding and was about to say something to her…but then James sliced her throat with the knife.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA !", I clenched my fists and screamed so loud the earth shook. I watched Esme fight to breathe as she choked on her own flooding juices and in seconds, she turned white…and her eyes glazed over…and they stared at me…the whole time.
He threw her into me then and I buried my face into her shoulder, leaning against her as she leaned into me.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry….", was all I could say over and over again between my gusts of tears and shallow breaths.
"How touching.", James said snidely as he watched us, clapping his hands as if he were watching some play. I was ready to die now. I WANTED it. I knew Esme was waiting for me. I will be there in a few seconds, Ma…
"Remember I promised you a big surprise when we were done ?", James asked. I was silent now…snuggling against my dead mother…nothing else could hurt more than this. I was empty now.
Then he grabbed Esme's hair and yanked her away from me as I lunged towards her…wailing as she fell to the floor with a thud. Her lips still had a little smile upon them, as if she could still see me.
"Ready for the surprise, little prince ?", James asked again. I just stared at Esme, in shock…watching her with a tilted head.
He put his palm against the handle of the knife and he came closer to me, as if I would be afraid of his fucking knife now. I just smiled up at him, glad it was finally my turn.
"Here it comes.", James announced and plunged the blade right into my stomach, not my heart. James gave a satisfied yell as he pierced me deeply…I gave a scream, too, but not one of pain or fear…of joy. I was being sent to my mother and my girls. I wished I could thank him.
Then he pulled the knife out and I screamed again…it was painful, but no more than what I had just had to endure. I felt my blood pouring out of me and I looked up, glad…and I'm sure my face looked pleased.
"A nice stomach wound for you.", James informed, "Just like the one you gave me."
Now I could speak my mind to the bastard.
"No, the one YOU got was from my mother.", I grinned at him as I bled, "She was FAR stronger than YOU will EVER be."
It would take a long time for me to bleed to death this way. Maybe I could taunt him into stabbing me again, in the heart. I didn't like keeping my mother waiting.
"You spineless, dickless…demonic piece of dog shit.", I scowled at him, filled with hate and fury, "You murder six innocent women…to get to a 17 year old ? You murder an old man…to get your own business ? You can HAVE this fucked up world…and it can have YOU. I'm SO glad to leave this goddamned rat hole. And I'm glad my family is going with me. So, thank you."
"I know what you're doing.", James shook his head, "But it's not going to work. You are going to suffer for as long as it takes. Just like I did. You aren't getting a quick death."
"I can wait.", I felt my lips smile wider as I gave a dark chuckle.
Then I watched my stomach bleed for a couple more hours. James just stood there and watched me, silently.
Finally, I was feeling weaker and sleepier. I felt my head fall down and I couldn't lift it up again. I was going. Thank God. I'm coming, Esme.
I heard James walking away…and I heard doors slamming…and I smelled…gasoline ? I managed to lift my head a bit and look out of the corner of my right eye and saw him making a trail with the gas can from the barn…dousing the furniture and floor with it.
I thought he wanted the house…the saloon. And now he was going to burn it all ? Or maybe he's just destroying the evidence of our deaths. I didn't care. I put my head down and closed my eyes, wishing I would go already.
And then I felt James untying the rope that held my neck to the banister. He was dragging me again…away from my family. I didn't want to leave them and my voice croaked out, "Nooooo…Esme…"
"Nope.", James was taking me out of the house, leaving a red trail of my blood and theirs as we went.
"You're not going with them.", James revealed, "You're gonna stay HERE with US."
I didn't know what the Hell he was talking about but I didn't care much. I was nearly dead.
We were far out into the fields and he laid me there on my back in the tall grass, a breeze was blowing…the last pleasure I would ever feel before death came to take my hand.
I closed my eyes and inhaled…it hurt a little but not much…I waited.
I could hear Esme singing….
"Come over the hills, my bonnie Irish lad,
Come over the hills to your darling…
You choose the road, love, and I'll make the vow
And I'll be your true love forever…"
I could see her coming for me, her hair was flowing in the wind…so red, so beautiful, like fire and her blue eyes, the ocean. I reached up to her, like I did that first night I met her…and she was about to lift me up into her arms.
Then, something bit me…in my neck…and lips were sucking wetly there. I had no strength at all to even lift my arms to push them off…what was happening ?
Finally, I laid there, and the lips were gone from my neck.
"Goodnight, sweet prince.", James' voice sneered close by.
I felt my heartbeat slowing…long pauses in between each one…this is it…I'm going.
Suddenly, something slammed over my mouth and another hand was holding my bloody forehead down. Rusty copperish liquid flowed into my mouth and coated my tongue, and ran down my throat. I strangled a cry and tried to fight this off but I could not move, my arms still tied underneath me.
"Drink, you little fuck rag.", James' voice said as I struggled and gagged, coughing, not wanting to drink as it went down my throat against my will. I felt myself swallowing just so I could breathe.
"NNNNNN", I tried to plead as more of it went down my throat while I gurgled and resisted as much as I could, which wasn't much.
"That's it.", James approved as he held his wrist over my mouth and forced his blood into it.
"Stubborn little shit.", James grumbled, "Don't you know the GIFT I'm giving you ?"
I couldn't speak but I could think. I don't WANT your fucking gifts, James. Shove em up your ass.
"Swallow.", he forced as I HAD to swallow to keep from drowning in it as it pooled in the back of my throat. With every swallow, I felt more and more peace. More and more I could see Esme. I could see Emma, Kitty, Rebecca, Amy, and Joanna. They were all angelic and smiling at me with love. I reached out to them…and then everything went black suddenly…it was very cold, like the worst winter I had ever felt before…and I was filled with pain again when I was just about to die.
I laid there, limply, unable to move…and this burning, bone breaking pain crippled me from the inside out. I roared out, my back arching up as the sensations tore through my intestines, ripped out my muscles…burned all over my body.
I saw a fire burning in the distance but at the moment, I couldn't even be bothered to care about it.
James' voice was faint now but still there.
"There you go.", he sounded amused, "Enjoy your death. Enjoy eternity without your fucking family."
That statement scared the shit out of me. Without my family ? NO ! What did he do to me ?!
ESME ! Don't leave me ! WAIT !
But I couldn't form words, I could only howl like a dumb animal again…and enjoy this brutal, unending torture. For two days I laid there, bound and yelling as I waited for the pain to end.
Finally, the pain DID subside. I stopped screaming and I stared up at the stars. I could see every intricate line and arc of each individual one. I could see the moon and every little crater and I could even see it rotating on its axis. I could see puddles of water there.
I blinked my eyes and looked down at myself. I was still covered in blood, and it was dry now. I could identify which flecks of dry blood were Esme's and which belonged to Emma…strange. How could I SEE that ? Even more strange…I could SMELL them in the blood on my clothes, each different scent…
I tried the ropes around my wrists, sure I wouldn't be able to break free again…but the ropes snapped apart like wet paper. NOW they fall apart. The bitterness of that was not wasted on me as I stood up, looking around me.
I could see the house…or what was left of it. The black, burned frame of it was hardly standing. A stiff wind would knock it all down into dust. I wanted to cry again…and scream and beg. But all that was gone now. As if someone had disconnected that from me. I felt dizzy and sick…and my feet began to lead me to the one thing that would bring me peace and relief.
I needed more. More of that drink that I had resisted two days ago. I wanted more. I felt my lips part and I inhaled the air, searching for the scent of it. I was going towards town, where lots of cute little homes were waiting for me. Homes full of what I need.
My voice began to numbly churn out words…words I almost recognized but didn't quite remember.
"Red is the Rose
In yonder garden grows…
Fair is the lily of the valley
Clear is the water that flows from the Boyne
But my love is fairer than any…"
I was going after my red rose in the gardens of the others…the ones who never liked me, who never wanted me. I couldn't stop saying the words…there was no melody to it…and then I came to a little door…and I opened it…
Over the years, as I was able to think and remember…a logical part of my brain took over. All the things I was taught about right and wrong were thrown away. I began to make new rules for myself.
Number 1. There are no rules anymore.
Number 2. See Number 1.
Number 3.
I will never be that weakling ever again. I was weak and because of that, Esme and the others died brutal deaths.
Number 4.
I will never love again. My birth mother was right. Love is what destroys us. It destroyed all of us. Love is a curse. I threw it away, gladly. I didn't want to love anyone ever again, after Esme, Emma, Kitty, Rebecca, Amy, and Joanna…and Edward the first…I will not let myself be that vulnerable ever again.
Number 5.
I will have sex, and feed from humans. But that will be as far as that goes. I will not get attached to them and will not let them get attached to ME. I will repel them away with my darkness, my sadness, my rage. I will make no friends, and have no lovers.
I thought this would ease the suffering in my soul…or make it fade away…but it never did. My family was always with me, in my mind, in my heart, now a very cold box filled with ghosts that I would never get to see again.
And, Bella, as astounding as it seems, you, a 17 year old girl, have come along and made me question everything I thought would protect me from ever going through that Hell again.
I love you…completely. And I know that I can trust you, letting you see me for all I am…and all I was. And I'm so sorry I ever tried to lock you out. I know you understand. And thank you for letting me share all this with you.
Love forever,
Six
Edward
Master
I leaned down and kissed the soft forehead of my delicate little human…and placed the book next to her, moving Tank out of the way. He just scampered over and laid on top of it now…great.
And I snuck out the small window, closing it, and going home.
END OF CHAPTER 40