(The Stars Were Brightly Shining)
by adlyb
Disclaimer: I own nothing except these words.
Summary: After a one night stand with Klaus, Elena discovers she's not going to be alone for Christmas after all.
Spoilers: Seasons 3 & 4
Rating: R
Warnings: canon typical violence/ teen pregnancy / angst angst angst and Christmas
She tosses and turns in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, at the horse drawing above her bed, out the window at the branches of the magnolia tree outside, the leaves gleaming in the early morning light.
There are so many thoughts, so many feelings, churning over in her chest.
Just a few days ago she had yearned for a way to fit Klaus into her future, to get to have both him and her child. To make the three of them somehow work, as more than just a fantasy born from Klaus's feverish imagination—a fantasy she had never been able to truly believe in, no matter how many times he had passionately declared himself.
Now, it seems that fantasy has come true.
There could be no simpler resolution than for Klaus to turn out to be the unlikely father of her child. No other path that would so seamlessly ensure Klaus's devotion not just as her lover but as a true part of the family she's envisioned building with her baby.
And it terrifies her.
Terrifies her, because it all seems too perfect. Too simple.
She might've been able to be happy, if only it weren't so easy.
Because this newest twist steals from her any chance she might have had to really make these decisions for herself.
To decide, with time and perspective, whether Klaus is truly the right fit for her, or whether this primal attraction she feels toward him is just that—an animal, hormonal response to him, urging her to give herself to this strong, handsome creature so capable of protecting her, of sheltering her.
For all she knows, this connection between them is just some supernatural spark, lighting her up so she can't help but welcome him into her arms and her bed. Some instinct urging her to mate with him. Conditioning her to make babies with him.
The thought crushes something fragile inside of her, something that had long been smothered but had begun to softly glow again this past week with Klaus.
No. She won't think of that.
A knock sounds against the bedroom door.
"Come in," she calls, sitting up and pushing her hair back from her sweaty face.
Bonnie steps hesitantly into the room. "Caroline made tea," she offers. "Since we never drank ours earlier."
Elena accepts the mug from her. The scent of jasmine wafts up to greet her. Her stomach flips as something occurs to her. "Do you think all the vervain tea I've been drinking is bad for the baby?"
"Because the baby is part vampire?"
It sounds insane when Bonnie says it aloud. Utterly absurd.
And yet, here she is, a vampire-werewolf hybrid baby growing within her. A baby Esther had implied who has magic. Which would mean… A vampire-werewolf-witch baby. A tribrid? No, that sounds dumb. But… regardless of what the right term for her is, her baby is still something unique. Something exceptional, that will draw danger like a magnet.
Elena swallows hard around the tightness in her throat. Takes a deep sip of the jasmine tea, willing it to calm her.
"You didn't know," Bonnie says, sitting down next to her. "None of us did."
"How could you? It never occurred to me, and I was the one who'd slept with him."
Bonnie looks anywhere but at her. "I wanted you to kill it," she says. "I was so certain that was the right call. So certain that it wasn't even a baby. But it turns out it's just an innocent little life." Something in Bonnie's face crumples. "I'm so sorry, Elena."
Carefully, Elena takes her hand. "I was so furious with you. I didn't know if our friendship would survive this. I knew that you were wrong—" She presses her free hand against her belly. "I knew this is a baby—my baby... But you wouldn't listen to me."
"I screwed up," Bonnie chokes. "I listened to that recording of Shane you had on your phone—Caroline showed me the journal, too. He was using me—manipulating all of my worst impulses— and I let him."
"No," Elena tells her fiercely. "No, this is the part where I have to own up that I let you down. Look at me—Please." When Bonnie does, Elena finds she can barely meet her eyes. Forces herself to anyway. To stare straight down into Bonnie's mangled soul. Into the hurt, the betrayal, the grief that matches her own. "I'm the one who's sorry. I was so wrapped up in my personal life—in my baby, in Klaus, in my own self-pity—that I didn't even notice what had happened to you until it was too late. You're my best friend, and I didn't even notice when you were being swallowed by the darkness. I was so selfish." Her voice cracks over the end.
"But I hurt you," Bonnie insists, tears welling in her eyes. "How can you forgive that?"
An answering swell of emotion blurs her vision. "You told me the other day that I've taken everyone you love away from you… and you're right. I don't mean to, but does that even matter? If anyone needs forgiving, it's me."
Bonnie shakes her head. Grips her by the arms. "No. That wasn't true. You're still here, Elena. I love you, too. I can't stop feeling like I almost lost you, and it was entirely my fault that I did." A sob wracks her. "I can't stop hearing you scream the other day. It's still echoing in my head."
Elena pulls her into a tight hug. The kind of hug that feels like a lifeline. An anchor in a raging sea. "Don't think of that. We've made it, and we're all still here. That's all that matters."
And really, there is nothing more to say.
"We'll be downstairs if you need us," Bonnie says sometime later, when their tears have dried and the last of the tea has been drunk. "I finished the perimeter spell, and I added another spell to prevent anyone from eavesdropping on us so long as we're inside the house, so we should be okay. At least for a while."
"What if Esther gets in your head again?"
Bonnie pulls a cord out from under her shirt which heretofore Elena had not noticed. There's a little sachet tied to the end of it. "I made myself an amulet, to guard against any witches or spirits attempting to control me."
"You must have been so afraid."
"Not for myself."
"If Esther comes back… and you have to choose between yourself and me… I want you to choose yourself."
"You always think I'm just going to let you waltz off and sacrifice yourself."
"I wouldn't do that."
"You realize why I don't believe you right?"
"It's not just my life on the line anymore. I have to protect my baby too… which I'll do at any cost," she tells her with grim certitude. "But I want to know that you won't sign up as Esther's prisoner-apprentice for my sake."
"Whatever happens, we're a team, Elena."
She leaves Elena to her thoughts, shutting the door firmly behind her before Elena can argue.
The sun drifts higher over the horizon.
Her fears circle like vultures. Claustrophobic, ever present. Ready to pick clean the bones of all of her hopes and dreams.
She drifts downstairs, where Caroline and Bonnie hunch over Shane's journal at the breakfast table.
"Anything interesting?" she asks, peering into her empty refrigerator. She hasn't grocery shopped in ages.
"Depends. Is a legend about the cure for immortality interesting?" Caroline asks.
"The cure for vampirism. Klaus mentioned something about that."
Caroline's eyes narrow. "Before or after the baby daddy reveal?"
Elena joins them at the table. "Before."
"You didn't think to mention it yesterday?"
"I was distracted. What's in the myth?"
"A whole bunch of weird stuff," Bonnie says, taking over. "It's part of that Silas myth Shane mentioned that day we sat in on his class." She briefly rehashes the main points. "It seems… from his journal… that it's all connected. He needed a Hunter with a completed mark to find Silas's tomb, and he needed a witch proficient in Expression—me—in order to perform the spell to get in."
"Esther confirmed for me last night that she was Shane's puppet master behind the scenes all this time."
The three of them let that sink in.
"What does she want with the cure?" Caroline wonders.
"And how does your baby fit in?" Bonnie adds.
Elena frowns. "I don't think it's connected," she reasons slowly. "She said something about her plans changing—that she'd had another purpose for you in mind to begin with, other than using you to lure me out." Her fingers draw idle patterns on the table while she thinks aloud. "Maybe… maybe she set this whole scheme up to cure all of her children… at the sacrifice of only one of them. As part of her whole vampires are a plague that must be eliminated vendetta." She knows it's true the moment she says it. Everything about this plan has Esther written all over it.
The sacrifice of only one of her children, in exchange for the rest.
Klaus, in exchange for Elijah, Rebekah, and Kol.
The unfairness of it all swamps her.
Unbidden, a violent protectiveness rears up inside of her like a dark wave, as shocking in its abruptness as it is in its unrestrained, brutal power. Even now, in the face of all of her uncertainty regarding what she wants from Klaus, that instinct to protect him, that pure rage against everyone who threatens him, promises to sweep her under. To obliterate her.
Somehow, at some point when she wasn't paying attention, Klaus had made it onto her list. She'd realized it last week, wandering through the town green, when she'd thought he was so far out of her reach that he may as well be dead and the misery had swelled up inside of her, pressing in on her until she could no longer hide from what she knew to be true.
She feels that now.
If someone is gunning for Klaus, then she's gunning for them.
"So she'll use the Hunter to get rid of Klaus, so he can complete the Hunter's mark," Bonnie summarizes. "And try to use her mind control to force me to help." She clenches her jaw. "That's typical of her—never wanting to get her hands dirty herself."
"Are we sure it's Klaus she plans to kill?" Caroline asks.
"Do you see any other Originals around?"
"Unless her plan has changed because of the baby," Elena says.
"Don't you think she's probably got one plan for the baby and an entirely different plan for her children?" Bonnie asks.
"I'm going to pick up breakfast," Caroline announces out of the blue, hopping to her feet and completely derailing their conversation in the process.
"What?"
"It's no good discussing doom and gloom on an empty stomach. Besides, your stomach growling is getting distracting, Elena. And you promised me that if you didn't take care of yourself that you'd at least let me take care of you, so by God, that's exactly what I'm going to do."
They both blink at Caroline as she tugs on her coat. There's something so determined about her demeanor, about how bravely she covers up her fragility. Her fear. For Tyler. For herself. For Klaus.
"We'll figure this out," Bonnie assures her.
Caroline smiles brightly. Too brightly. "Of course we will. Over pancakes. Hold down the fort, okay?"
"So when are you going to tell me about Klaus?" Bonnie asks her as she rinses out the mugs and takes her vitamins.
"Which part?"
"The part where Caroline says the two of you are in love?"
Elena freezes. "That's not how I would describe it."
"Then how would you? Describe it, that is?"
That's the million dollar question.
"We're an unanswered question," she replies, without explanation.
She's sick again, just like every morning, except this time she can't help but think about how this is Klaus's baby doing this to her—making herself known. Klaus inside of her, becoming.
She stares at herself in the bathroom mirror for a long time, the water from when she'd rinsed her mouth out still damp on her chin, her cheeks.
Wondering if she is making this baby, or if this baby is making her.
After, Elena retreats to her bedroom, to curl up in the window seat, her forehead resting against the cool window pane.
The shadows shift on the ground beneath her, flickering and quicksilver as her spinning thoughts, like minnows scattering in the shallow end of a pond.
She's looking right out the window when a new shadow emerges, darker, somehow, than all the rest, despite the fact that the sun shines right on him.
Klaus meets her eyes through the window glass.
Slowly, she lifts her hand to wave to him.
A/N: Thank you for reading! I double-updated tonight, so please make sure you've read chapter 40 as well if you are just tuning in.
Your comments and feedback give this story life! Now on to that confrontation we've all been waiting for…