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Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

Shikamaru's prodigious mind was focused entirely on two things: just how much of a stranglehold, (with either his shadows or his hands,) he could put on his sister without murdering her, and just where had all of the hats, bandanas, ANYTHING that might cover his head could be. He suspected that Naruto had hidden them, but the occasional snort coming from his father, who was hiding his face behind a newspaper, made him wonder if the man wasn't in on it, too.

"Good morning, dear! My, aren't you looking bright today, Shika-chan," Yoshino chirped as she looked at her now orange-haired son. "Eat it all, young man. You want to be a big, strong, shinobi or pumpkin when you're all grown up."

"Troublesome." Why did his mother always side with Naruto? Right, she was "cuter," according to his own mother. Not to mention a damn nightmare.

"So, I hear that all the younger teams are getting together for a group training today," Shikaku said, letting the cat out of the bag. Seeing the horror on his orange-haired son's face, he hid behind his paper again, obviously snickering. Naturally, Yoshino forced him to put the paper down and gave him only a slight reprimand for reading during family time.

Tenzo wondered where so many of this year's Genin were, including two of his own - along with his elusive captain. He'd checked the Memorial Stone, and had even gone so far as to knock on Kakashi-senpai's apartment door - something he knew the man utterly hated - but no one answered, and although he couldn't be sure, it seemed like the man hadn't been there anytime recently.

He watched as the Aburame kid shot bugs out at the Hyuuga heiress, who promptly vomited before the bugs even hit her. Well, that's not particularly impressive. Yuhi-san was attending the girl, thankfully.

Sai was locked up and hopefully sleeping the stupid off at his place. Gods! How could senpai put me in that situation? The kid had kept him up all night! Once Sai could speak clearly, he simply could not stop the seemingly unending questions he had about nearly everything… He asked about many of Danzo's machinations, which Tenzo still couldn't speak about thanks to the secrecy seal still active on his tongue, all the way through so many awful and sensitive questions about... sex! The ROOT kid seemed way-too focused on that topic now. WHY SENPAI?!

Hearing laughter, along with seeing Asuma Sarutobi choke out his cigarette, Tenzo turned toward a very bright orange-haired young man. Ah, the Nara heir. Dear Lord, he looked absolutely horrible with that hair color. He'd seen the rather tall, built kid around before, but that orange definitely made the Nara's olive skin tone look absolutely putrid. Even the Uchiha brat who finally arrived seemed to be hiding a laugh - probably a scoff - at the Nara's new look.

"Troublesome. Where's Naru-chan?" Shikamaru had on a jacket with a tall neck, but it did little to hide his shamefully colored locks.

Asuma pulled Shikamaru's hands out of his pockets and asked, "Did she do your nails, too?" He was disappointed to see them unpainted as his Genin fisted his hands and harshly put his hands back in his pockets. Shikamaru tried to go behind the nearest tree to recline, but Asuma wouldn't have it. This is just too good! "Choji-kun, come over and spar with our very bright friend."

That joke again?

"Sorry, Shikamaru," Choji offered while trying to hide the smile on his face.

"S'alright, Choji. Wait 'til she gets you for Kami-only-knows-what."

"That's why I stay on her good side, man!" After hearing Asuma-sensei yell "Hajime," the two began sparring with taijutsu. Choji could hear the shouts and applause and it felt really good! Just as he was ready to nail his best friend with his clan's jutsu - he had no doubt that Shikamaru would undoubtedly dodge as always - Shikamaru turned away from him.

"Shadow possession…" There was a squashing sound as Choji's enlarged hand hit him. At least Shikamaru was still alive - they could all hear him groaning.

Naruto had left her place late this morning - quite late in fact.

"Get it together. You're as bad as your mother! Damned love-struck fool: you'll get killed if you don't pay attention!"

"Gomen!" Naruto tried to shake the furious blush that covered her face and spread out her chakra to see if any losers were around. Last night had been a good night! It wasn't like she and Kakashi went all the way or anything close to that - it had just been… nice. More like wonderful! She nearly let out a squeal, just thinking about him.

"For fuck's sake!"

"Eep! Hai, hai!" She tried to wipe what she just knew had to be the world's most stupid grin off her face, but it was so hard! "It's just that, he's not going to push me - and he even… maybe likes me, ya know?"

"Unfortunately I DO know, idiot! And of course, he likes you: how could he not? If he didn't, I'd eat him!" Kurama almost looked like he was now pouting. "Perverted mutt!"

Naruto had to agree: indeed Kakashi was… Her husband seemed to be a pervert even in his sleep. At least on the many, many occasions she'd walked in on Jiraiya sleeping next to a woman or two, he'd just been laying there passed out and snoring his brains out. But Kakashi? No. She stopped counting after waking on the couch for the nth time she awoke to find one or both of his hands either on her ass or breasts or both - and he really did seem to be asleep! She was immediately awakened nearly every time he made a gropey move, and stayed awake, basically daring the man to open his eyes. But he never did.

"That's weird, too: in our past life Kakashi-sensei would wake up in an instant, sometimes from just a falling leaf or as if he was startled by a gust of wind!"

"In our PAST time-line, Super Pervert, Jr., wouldn't have considered squeezing your assets! Not that he knew you had any. Not that you DID have any when you were first on his team."

Naruto scowled and pouted a bit. She knew that what Kurama said was true. Even if she was older - even just considering her age in this timeline - when placed on a genin team, she couldn't do anything about it. How often had she and Shika worried over the fact that in their last lifetimes they graduated at 13, but this time they were more than 2 years older upon graduating? It had been frightening wondering if an attack would come "on time," but at least - for some reason - nothing had come up with the Akatsuki that she knew about, nor had anything else particularly significant taken place.

"I wouldn't concern yourself with it, kit. I'm sure with that Pervert II just having a willing - nay: a wanton…"

"Watch what you call me, Fucker!"

"You watch what you call ME, you Yellow-haired Double-Fucker…" Oh! It seems the yellow shit is stuck in a shadow. Kurama snickered, as he saw Naruto stuck for a moment - and then watched the now orange Deer Boy get smacked by the fat - er, big kid. His snickers turned into raucous laughter. Humans are so fucking stupid!

Naruto made three clones, turning one into a stretcher for the other two to carry before she ran up to her fellow Genin "You okay, Shika? Ne, feeling a little - flat?"

"S'all yoe fault! Dmn tblsm wmn," Shikamaru moaned. Had he not said the same thing so many thousands of times, he might have been hard to understand.

Kakashi smiled behind his mask as he slowly approached and languidly observed the scene in front of him. Naruto had explained everything that happened at the Naras' place last night, and she had been sincere and it seemed that she was trying to comfort him about it. But his paranoid mind was somewhat relieved by seeing for himself that her seal had, in fact, turned the Nara brat's hair such an awful color. He was only somewhat reassured, though, because the way she described making that seal - using chakra to draw it - was pretty advanced. It was something that he really hadn't experimented with much: he preferred to use ink and paper.

For the most part, Kakashi replicated and occasionally enhanced seals that he had seen, which was simple, thanks to the Sharingan. Kushina-nee had been the one to teach him the basics of fuuinjutsu first, and she always said that he needed to unleash his creativity if he wanted to advance. However, after blowing up a corner of the Forest of Death and being attacked by giant flesh-eating larvae in his youth, he reigned in his imagination when it came to seals. Sensei had never given him a hard time about it. The Yondaime looked at sealing completely differently than his wife did.

...Not to mention the fact that he didn't want word getting out that Naruto, the Nine-tails jinchuuriki with a powerful seal on her belly, was using fuuinjutsu at all. There was no doubt in his mind that civilians and even some shinobi would freak out at the knowledge, thinking that his little wife would "undo the seal," to release the beast. That was ridiculous. Naruto's seal was tied to the Shinigami, and that fact was entirely too-known in the upper-ranks of the shinobi community for his taste. More than that, though, Naruto's Will of Fire is strong, and she only wants to protect. The mindset that she was the Kyuubi really pissed him off.

"Shikamaru-kun, a word please." Naruto's clones laid the boy's clone/stretcher on the ground as he groaned, and at his command, they walked over to their original who was talking to the bun-haired brunette on Gai's team. Kakashi could've sworn that he heard "You're heavy," come from below the Nara, but didn't concern himself with it. He bent down to whisper to the kid, "I don't care what kind of excuse you need to make, but let's NOT let the word out that Naru-chan put a seal on you." The kid stared at him like he was stupid, which Kakashi really did not appreciate. When the kid smirked, he got a bad feeling in his stomach.

"Hmm, convce Imouto to gt dis damn ding offa me 'nd we hava deeel," Shikamaru slurred before he cursed. Interestingly enough, it was easier to understand his foul language than anything else he was saying. Fortunately, Kakashi was an excellent lip-reader. Sakura jogged toward them, while one of Naruto's clones followed behind her at a distance looking concerned.

"Shikamaru-kun!" Sakura yelled as she came up and kneeled down next to the young man. "Ano, Kakashi-taicho… may I umm, ano, I've been studying medical texts and Iryoninjutsu - just a bit! May I try to diagnose? Or maybe accompany him to the hospital?" Shikamaru's eyebrows had nearly gone to his orange hairline, and he took a peek at Naruto's face as what was most likely her clone approached. By the clone's expression, Naruto was concerned about him, but she didn't look at all surprised by what Sakura said. Kakashi looked somewhat happily startled by the Pinkette's declarations, judging by that one eye of his widening a bit and then crinkling.

Naruto was happy that Sakura-chan had run to Shikamaru's aid. The girl really had been studying a lot, and her clones that were spying throughout the village had seen her pink-haired teammate coming and going to the hospital this week when the team wasn't training or on pathetic missions. Naruto had been relieved that her plan to assure Sakura would go into the medical field earlier was going well. Especially considering how little time they all had before everything started going to Hell again, from the Chunin exams and beyond. It had only been a tiny bit disappointing when Naruto had first recommended the field to her - by complimenting her "excellent chakra control" and brains needed for the field back when Sasuke was in the hospital. Those incredibly small reserves she has for now…

At first, Sakura showed interest simply because Sasuke needed healing. Naturally. Naruto's example of Tsunade had done nothing to inspire the girl, which left Naruto completely irritated, considering who the girl's mentor would be. Still, the blonde knew that they'd need Sakura's past and hopefully future medical expertise soon, and her scary brute strength could only aid them, too. Naruto's answer was to henge a clone to look like a much more mature Sasuke (minus the Sharingan,) with a wide-open shirt like he'd worn later in his life because of his stupid curse-marked wing-things. Naru's future-Sasuke henged form would give an occasional very simple, but always genuine compliments to Sakura at the library where she spent so much of her time. Having her clone carry around giant books that were so clearly titled with medical topics seemed to have done the trick, even when her clone went astray and henged a giant red bow and ribbon on faux-Sasuke's ass to make fun of those stupid Oto belts he and The Snake wore.

As soon as that clone had dispelled, Naruto ordered her clones never to do that crap again. Although they're still wandering the village; some in nearly ridiculous disguises. Idiots…

Surely what I did in the library won't hurt Sakura-chan, right? Naruto wondered nervously as she listened to Tenten-chan's pros and cons on using wind chakra with different types of swords versus fans. I just want to keep them all safe and alive.

.

At least Naruto's here - well, her clones are… Shikamaru was NOT comfortable being in Sakura's supposedly safe hands. It's not that the future-brawler had ever hurt him - in fact during this go-around, Sakura flat-out avoided and had hardly ever spoken to him. But in his last life? She'd hurt Naru-chan enough!

He never understood why the Pink Puck would constantly hit Naruto back then, even if his whiskered friend back then was sometimes an absolute idiot. You just don't do that to your comrades! Plus, Naruto had always sought out the Puck's friendship ever since he'd known the two, and the blonde had put up with way too much from the other girl. The final straw for Shikamaru had probably been when Sakura had been so rough with Naruto's nearly destroyed arm after she killed that Kakuzu asshole, or it may have even been before that. He bitterly remembered being in the hospital room when Sakura was so inconsiderate to Naruto's grievous and near-fatal injuries after returning without the Uchiha after his defection.

Fuck Team 7! Naruto would punch him for the thought, but Shikamaru didn't trust any member of that team with his sister's life right now. Kakashi was well: he was Kakashi! The Loner Pervert! Sai was still under Danzo's command and influence, and even Yamato -er, Tenzo, still couldn't out Danzo for anything the WarHawk might have planned or might actually do to Naruto. WarHawk: more like War-Lover. He snorted at the terrible nickname. Choji must have hit me even harder than I thought.

After waiting around for hours at the hospital, he was finally pronounced mainly bruised, just as Pinky had said. They did have to restabilize Shikamaru's jaw a bit, as he'd hit it hard on the ground when he fell from Choji's punch and it had been slightly dislocated. The Nara bit his lip as he, Sakura, and one of Naruto's clones slowly made their way back to the training grounds. He couldn't demand that the clone or her original remove the seal from his scalp with Sakura within hearing distance. His father had told him that there was at least one Haruno on the council. "Troublesome."

Naruto was bouncing with joy. She had first thoroughly whipped Sasuke's butt, (the Bastard had outright refused one of her specially concocted medicine balls to help with a hangover;) and now she'd managed to actually defeat Lee in a taijutsu brawl!

Gai was crying tears of Youth and Sadness while handing over a bunch of Ryo to Kakashi, as Naruto sat down next to Lee to discuss their match. "You're really good, Lee-kun!" The two went over their fight in-depth and eventually began discussing conventional weights versus gravity seals until a certain Hyuuga rudely interrupted.

Naruto had felt Neji's eyes on her ever since she arrived. It was hard to look at him, considering the last time she'd seen him, he had died in her arms. Eventually, though, she offered him a small, probably either pained-looking or less than sincere smile, hoping to make him go away. She then went back to kicking ass and taking names throughout the afternoon, pushing her thoughts from the way-too-observant Hyuuga.

"Uzumaki-san, I wish to speak with you about your form," Neji stated. Naruto noticed that he was standing rather formally. "You have implemented elements of my clan's fighting style into your taijutsu." Yeah: he stated it as a fact rather than asked her whether or not that was true.

Oh, fuck… Lee, especially, had been such an awesome opponent; Naruto had lost herself and just let her fists fly - and had somehow… Gods, how can I be so stupid? Hinata-chan was the first to raise her eyes to Naruto, a troubled look on her face. We're getting too much attention! Naruto was instantly up and grabbed Neji by the arm to pull him away from what was quickly becoming an attentive audience around them. She noticed Gai's concerned expression and was incredibly thankful when Kakashi reluctantly challenged him to Janken-pon, supposedly without using the Sharingan.

"So, uhh, Neji-kun," It was difficult for Naruto to be so close to someone who had once declared his undying love for her - as well as his cousin's continued love, come to think of it - without blushing like an idiot. "You were… saying?"

"Uzumaki-san," Neji began as he drank in her features. "My inquiry was simple. I noticed your somewhat-effective use of the Juken, as well as a few other clan-specific forms during your spar…"

Naruto felt a burning desire to show Neji just what she'd learned from Tsunade and Sakura in her last life! Somewhat-effective?! She could manage to approximate the two scariest women she'd ever known with her right hand only - but that would be enough! Feeling her hair start to separate and rise as it snapped out of her ponytail holder, she repeated a calming mantra in her head and scratched her cheek.

Why is he smiling at me like that? Oh gods, I bet he's about to… Naruto quickly got into a defensive position after jumping away to leave plenty of room between them. That just seemed to amuse the Hyuuga even more! "Who are you?!"

Neji chuckled lightly, which seemed to alarm the blonde even more. She was "different" when I last saw her all those years ago, too. "You don't remember me, Naruto-san? I would say that I'm hurt," he put his hand over his heart as Naruto crouched down lower, obviously ready to spring into action. "However, it was many years ago, ne?"

Naruto had no idea of what he was talking about - and she swore he was batting his obscenely long, pretty eyelashes at her. This is an imposter! "Prepare to face your worst nightmare!"

Neji simply held his hands up, making the beautiful blonde spasm and shift. "Please, Naru-chan. Spare my life for a moment and tell me where you learned our form." He sat down as elegantly as was humanly possible on the ground.

NARU-CHAN? What version of sick hell was this where stick-up-his-ass Neji called her a pet name and actually smiled?! Naruto scowled at him and saw Neji simply looking up in what seemed to be amusement. Taking a step back, she closed her eyes to sense whether or not this was a Zetsu pretending to be Neji in front of her. No - I guess he feels like the real Neji… What was his question again?

"Moron."

Oh right! "Maa, I… get around?" Hopefully, that would be enough to either piss him off and/or otherwise make him forget about all the forms of taijutsu she'd stolen, er- borrowed through the years. His smirk made her think for a moment that she was right - no matter how much Kurama was scoffing at her.

"'Getting around…' Interesting, Naru-chan. Perhaps you should rephrase your words - or then again, perhaps you'd like to come to the estate - and 'get around' a little more."

Naruto's mouth dropped wide open. She didn't even hear the senseis' loudly whistle before agreeing that training was finally over for the day. Did… did he just? Did HYUUGA NEJI just make a… a sexual innuendo?

"Bingo. Someone give her a prize."

Naruto took off like a bullet, pulling her fist back to end whoever this Pervert Neji imposter was!

"Pervert Neji's" pretty face was only saved by Naruto's leg being tripped and then quickly surrounded by Tenzo's Mokuton. She snarled back at the Jonin like a wild animal, before looking back toward the Perverted Hyuuga who was already gone.

"Calm down, Uzumaki! We've still got some daylight, so we're headed to the mission desk. Let's go!" Seeing the blonde's hair beginning to come down - and what the hell is that about? - Tenzo pulled back his jutsu but still watched the fiery female closely. Maybe it's something like Jiraiya-sama's jutsu. Tenzo would never forget being bound and temporarily blinded by white HAIR of all things years ago, as the Sage laughed heartily, mocking and calling him "Woodchuck" and "Squirrel-Boy."

"Maa, Tenzo-kun! I'm taking the brat to the bookstore." Kakashi shrugged toward Sai, who was looking scarily happy.

"Why would…? No! Senpai, you can't be serious!"

"Maa, maa, my kuwaii kohai," Kakashi drawled, making Tenzo blush furiously, then pout and look away. "Would you rather have him back at your place tonight, asking those oh-so-intimate questions?" Kakashi wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before frowning. You could see his pouty lips through his mask. "Maa, Tenzo-kun: I thought that I was your one and only," he sniffed pathetically.

Tenzo turned bright red, then purple. "SEN-PAI!" A variety of incoherent words and strained noises came from the younger Jonin's mouth until wood finally exploded from the ground all around them. Kakashi already had Sai over his shoulder and was off through the treetops, though. Neither Naruto nor Tenzo had any doubt that Kakashi was off to pollute the ROOT member's mind with one of his trashy novels. Neither had any idea, however, that those actions would eventually lead to a war within ROOT.

Tenzo was in a testy mood as he forced Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura along, grumbling all the way through the forest about "perverted old men that aren't actually old but still deviants." Naruto was also sure that she heard a reference to her godfather but couldn't be sure. There was no way she was going to ask the man right now - he was too busy having a conniption fit.

Out of seemingly nowhere, the devil was in front of her. Without thinking at all, Naruto got down on all fours and hissed. Kurama approved.

Tora - that damn fleabag - didn't even seem to care that a larger animal/person that now so resembled a lion was threatening her. The nasty feline stared at the blonde before rolling back a bit to lick her ass.

Embarrassed over her somewhat feral reaction, Naruto sat back on the ground, watching the Lesser Demon curiously. She heard each of her remaining teammates curse softly behind her, and gulped down a large lump in her throat as the beast approached. Then the unthinkable happened: Tora actually rubbed her head against Naruto and began to purr! Sure that it was a trick, Naruto refused to give in, and also tried to rid herself of a possible genjutsu. Only after a few silent minutes, did she have the nerve to follow Tenzo's instructions to pick up the beast and carry it to the Tower. She stroked it warily along the way, waiting for the little monster's claws and teeth to strike, but the bow-headed kitty just looked up at Naruto like she knew something that Naruto didn't. I swear to Kami… I'm either in a genjutsu I can't break, or I'm losing my mind.

Sure enough, sitting next to an especially exhausted-looking Hokage was a cat carrier. A couple of Chunin were being assigned the most dreaded mission in the village, and could not have been happier upon seeing a team returning with the little rat, er- cat. Madame Shijime's wails about her "Precious Tora-chan," were ignored, although this would have been the first time in this time-line that she'd seen the silly woman, had Naruto just looked up.

Because of the familiar civilian-level chakra and stench of sake and sweat that nearly overcame her senses, Naruto also failed to notice when the Daimyo's wife suddenly stopped making so much noise, staring at the blonde with her mouth agape. Naruto loaded the little fucker into his cage and closed her eyes, and requested from her grandfather figure the same thing she'd asked all those years ago.

She didn't remember the exact words she'd used the first time, but after taking a shaky breath, she smiled as genuinely as possible at the elderly man who meant so much to her. "Ne, JiJi: isn't it about time for us to be moved up to a C-rank mission?"