MAY 14th, 2015

TOKYO-3, REI'S APARTMENT

6:00am:

Rei's slumber came to an end when her alarm clock rung loudly, reverberating in the walls of her near-empty apartment. She opened her eyes, to the familiar sight of her dully colored apartment ceiling. She had barely slept at all.

She spent hours with her eyes closed, but her restless mind could only run all the thoughts she was having regarding current events. It had been the most tiring night of her life, despite her not having been able to get much sleep from it.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, awaking to the usual sight of her drab apartment. On a normal day, she'd be quick to get up and start things off right away. But these past few days hadn't been normal at all for her.

Rei remained seated on her bed for a little while, recollecting everything that had happened in the past week. Emotions were not her forte, and her recent behavior had shown just that. She'd never had such difficulty getting up in the morning, and had to force herself to get her day started.

She removed her bed sheets and finally got herself up, going straight for the shower instead of fixing herself some breakfast first. Her appetite just wasn't there that morning.

Her feet felt the ice-cold tiles of her apartment's grime-covered floors. She never minded the discomfort they brought her, always having been told by Gendo how luxury would only serve to distract her in the long run. The one true luxury she was allowed to have was warm water, which she found she had been enjoying a little more these past few days.

She turned the valve and tested the water with her hand, finally going in when she felt it had reached a sufficient temperature.

'This feels... nice.'

Its warmth enveloped her, momentarily taking her mind off of her emotional exhaustion. It was often colder around this time of day, making each morning shower a soothing start for a school day. As she washed her body, she looked over her wound once more. It was still scabbed, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as it did some nights ago. She almost didn't feel it anymore.

Then, she thought back to the barrage of images that ran through her mind in the coding pod.

A smog-heavy desert, almost devoid of any life. But one lone figure stood solitarily in the middle of the endless plain, desperately wanting to find a way out. Rei was unsettled by the image and wondered why these things were coming to mind, often out of nowhere. She felt as if she had looked into someone else's mind.

'They all appear so personal.' She thought. 'It feels almost... invasive.'

She tried ignoring it, and stood under the warm water for a little while longer. She had already finished washing herself, but felt too comfortable under the shower head. The calm it brought her in these stressful times was too alluring for her to want to leave.

She still had plenty of extra time to leave for school anyway.

TOKYO-3 JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, CLASSROOM 2-A

8:28am:

The rain was coming down hard outside, it being particularly heavy this morning. To say the students had grown weary of present-day Tokyo's never-ending rain of was an understatement; most of them hated any kind of rain by now, and would probably move to a drier region once given the chance.

Kensuke entered the class before Toji had even arrived, as always. He shook off his umbrella and placed it along with all the other ones that were drying off. That corner of the room had always formed a puddle by the end of the day, one that Hikari would often force Toji and Kensuke to clean out before class ended. But lately he had noticed that Hikari had been going easy on them, choosing to mop the corner herself these past few days.

Asuka and Hikari were already in their seats, conversing about something that looked like a private matter. Kensuke awaited Toji, who usually arrived about 20 minutes before class was in session. Kensuke knew he would be there shortly.

"Hey Ken." Toji said from under the door frame of the room, just when Kensuke had expected him to show up.

"What's up, man?" He greeted.

"Nothin', just still thinkin' 'bout everythin' that's gone down." Said Toji.

"I hear you, man. I haven't been able to get my mind off-"

Kensuke caught Asuka and Hikari looking over at them from the corner of his eye. Were they talking about them? He swore he saw Asuka point over at Toji for some unknown reason. Toji wondered why Kensuke had stopped talking so abruptly, and wondered what was going on.

"You good there, Ken?" He asked.

"Yeah... sorry, it's just that it seems the two 'devils' are gossiping about us over there." Explained Kensuke.

Toji looked over at the girls, to which they immediately looked the other way. He thought of calling them out on it, but chose not to in the end. There was already a lot on his mind, and he was way too tired to have his usual bickers with Asuka.

"Eh, whatever man. Prolly jus' shit talkin' as usual." Toji shrugged off.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Said Kensuke.

Unbeknownst to them, Toji's guess was way off. Over at where Asuka and Hikari sat next to one another, neither were talking of such thing. At least, Hikari wasn't. They both gave a quick peak at the boys to make sure they were not looking over at them anymore. Hikari let out a sigh of relief.

"That was too close..." She whispered to Asuka.

"You don't say? We shouldn't have been looking at them for so long, that's too obvious!" Asuka stated.

"Hey, you were the one teasing me about Toji... I only looked because you were talking about him!" Said Hikari.

She had admitted to Asuka that Toji was actually her secret crush just the day before, which got Asuka asking Hikari all kinds of questions. When he had entered the classroom, Asuka was making comments about his 'poor attire', which was why she was pointing over at him as he sat down next to Kensuke. It was then that they were caught staring.

"Ah, whatever! I still don't see it." Asuka told Hikari. "He's a total moron! His head is hollow! C'mon Hikari, you can do better than him! I just... don't get it."

"You don't have to..." Hikari began. "Maybe it's his rebellious attitude that I like, or maybe his looks. Then again, maybe I don't know why myself. But that doesn't really matter. Sometimes, you like someone and that's just the way it is. Sometimes, you can't really explain it, can you?"

Asuka rolled her eyes, thinking about how cheesy Hikari's statement sounded.

"You should know that more than myself, Asuka-" Hikari added, noticing her friend's look of doubt. "-being that you like psycho boy..."

"I-!" Asuka began, but hesitated.

Did she even like him? Could she call what she had for Shinji a crush? Even she wasn't too sure why she had a sudden interest in him. Even though she was always trying to avoid the topic, she knew Hikari was right about Shinji attacking her. After such an event, who would even be interested in the boy?

She knew the main reason for her interest in him was rooted deeper than just a teenage crush. Something else about him intrigued her, and yet she felt like it might've been the very thing she hated about him.

"Y'know what? Just forget it." Asuka finished.

Minutes continued to pass, the entirety of the classroom still staying mostly quiet from the shock of the battle just a few days prior. It was now only 3 minutes to class, but something felt... off. Something felt missing, and it didn't go unnoticed by the students. They just didn't know exactly what was amiss.

And through the door, walked in Rei Ayanami. Much later than she would normally arrive, and looking quite unlike her usual self.

"Woah..." Toji and Kensuke quietly uttered in unison, shocked at how much the girl didn't look like herself.

Her eyes carried bags under them, and her hair was shaggier than normal. She was even walking a little slower, despite her wound having healed plenty by this point. The look in her eyes revealed just how spaced out she was, as if she was moving on autopilot.

Rei, the last student to arrive that day. That had never happened before. And just a few minutes shy of it being too late.

She sat down, not bothering to remove the contents of her school bag. She just sat there, completely lost in her thoughts. Word began buzzing around between her classmates, mostly rumors about what was causing this trouble within her.

Rei could hear some of her classmates talking about her perfectly well, but didn't care enough to react or be bothered by any of it. She was lost in her own little world and showed no signs of coming back to her present reality.

Then, their teacher arrived shortly after.

1:47pm:

Rei had never felt worse in her life. She rested her head on her hand, her eyes still pointing at the dull tabletop. A new sensation was being felt within her, this one being the darkest of all the new ones she had felt until then.

She didn't fully understand how it worked, but felt as if she as watching herself from afar. Like her soul had been detached from her body.

As usual, the teacher had been going on about Second Impact and the events following the disaster. Rei and just about everyone else had already tuned out by this point, having not only heard all this stuff from the same teacher already but from their parents and other relatives that survived to tell tales of the event.

Today was an especially bad day for Rei, as those feelings she felt only seemed to intensify as the days passed. She knew the main cause of her grief was Shinji's disappearance, but something had multiplied that feeling the night before. When the core had rejected her, it felt very much like she had been attacked.

But it wasn't physical, even if she did feel ill when it happened. What bothered her the most about it, was the overwhelming amount of information that she had witnessed in less than a second.

It was almost traumatic.

Since then, she had been feeling extreme bouts of loneliness, more so than before. She was even experiencing feelings of self-pity, which she never had problems with before. Where did all this come from? Why did it plague her overnight, and not before?

'This is all too much.'

Rei could no longer stand the thoughts she was having, and tried shoving them deep down to clear her mind. She closed her eyes and tried thinking of other things to distract from the pain.

She thought back to her room, a place she was pretty familiar with. But that didn't seem to do it, as she had been feeling more unsatisfied with it lately. Then she tried thinking back to her shower, which did more to ease her. Rei found herself wishing she was still in the warm water, away from this cluttered classroom and in total comfort.

'Comfort...' Rei thought, recalling something that Gendo had told her about the word.

"Comfort is the downfall of man." He said.

That was what the Commander had instilled in her, making her believe that whatever he taught her was always fact. But now she was seeking exactly what he had told her to avoid all this time; that comfort she longed for. At first, she tried to put the memory of her warm shower aside, knowing that Gendo would not like this new mindset of hers. She didn't want to upset him.

But then she stopped herself again, feeling some kind of disdain for Gendo. Rei had never thought so harshly of him, but it was like something had plagued her mind so suddenly, flooding all the emotions back in.

Her eyes remained closed, but a frown came upon her face. She couldn't push the negativity away and it was beginning to frustrate her. Rei knew she still had a little more than 1 hour of school left, and just wanted it all to be over already.

She tried once again to repress these emotions that had been messing with her head, thinking of other memories that might've made her feel better.

"Well, if you're happy... you should smile." Said Shinji.

That memory again.

Rei's eyes shot open, remaining widened for a few seconds before she blinked again. She felt something build up inside her, waiting to be released. She had no idea what was going on, and was on the brink of buckling under the pressure of something.

Suddenly she felt anxious inside that classroom, much more than she had before. She didn't want to be seen by her classmates anymore, though she had no idea why. Rei was feeling extremely nervous and eyed the door.

She needed to get out of there.

Rei grabbed her bag and stood up abruptly, much to the shock of everyone else in the classroom. The teacher had heard someone stand up and turned around to see who it was. He too was flabbergasted that it was Rei that did so.

"Is there a problem, Ayanami?" He asked, prompting everyone in the room to look over at her. Her anxiety shot up tenfold, and she proceeded to walk out of the classroom without a word. No one was believing what they were seeing.

"Ayanami? You are not excused from class! Where are-?." The teacher tried saying as she disregarded him completely.

Toji shook Kensuke's arm

"You seein' this?" He asked.

Kensuke looked dumbfounded.

She walked through the door and was gone, her pace growing faster as she furthered from classroom 2-A. She had no clue where she was headed, but knew she wanted to be alone for a while. Rei just couldn't handle all these new emotions at once, especially inside such a full classroom.

She rushed down the stairs and headed for the door that lead to the outside of the campus. When she did, a humid air rushed in. It was raining heavily outside, and her rush to leave class had made her forget her umbrella.

Rei pushed on through the rain, feeling the drops seep into her clothes and onto her skin. The build up she felt inside her only increased, the feeling crawling up to her face now. She felt a burst coming, but held it in as much she could.

As she finally reached the end of the campus, she was looking for a quicker way out of there. A bus had just passed by and arrived at its stop, and she decided that would be her best bet. She didn't know where it would take her, all she knew is that she wanted to get on and out of there. From where she was, she had to run to be able to catch it.

The bus had stopped for more passengers to get in, Rei continuing to run through the thick raindrops. She finally reached the vehicle, just as the driver was closing the door. She knocked on the glass, catching the driver's attention. He opened the door for her.

"Please let me in, sir. I must... leave this place." She said timidly, water beginning to drip from her hair and face.

"Sure thing, Miss. Get in." He said.

Rei didn't know what direction the bus was headed, looking out the window to get a better idea of where she was going to. Her blue head of hair and red eyes had garnered her plenty of attention from the other riders in there, not to mention the fact that she was pouring from running under the rain for so long.

She could feel her socks soak up the water in her shoes like a sponge, the AC inside the bus making her feel a little cold now. She regretted not taking her umbrella with her before leaving class.

Her ride had lasted about 15 minutes now, and she still wasn't sure of where exactly she was. But she figured this was far enough. Rei stood from her seat and waited by the back door for the driver to make his next stop.

Sure enough, the stop was made and she stepped out into the rain once again. As the bus left, she looked across the street and recognized the shores of Lake Ashi in the distance. If she had taken the bus further, she wouldn't be too far from home at the closest stop.

But she wasn't going home, she was going somewhere. And she didn't know where that was yet.

She ran again, this time towards the lake. This part of the city was strangely crowded today, causing her to bump into a few people on her way there. At one point, she even dropped her bag during her run and didn't notice it.

She just didn't want to be around people right now, it felt like no matter where she went the anxiety would never leave.

Rei crossed two more streets and hit the last sidewalk before the lake, still looking around for a place that was more isolated than this. Not too far off, there was a mostly abandoned small dock with some housing on it. She'd search the area, and if no one else was around she'd find a private spot to rest in.

The place was mostly trashed. Many parts of the roof had long since come down, providing very little cover for any homeless people to properly shelter there. It was once a high-end restaurant for the elite, but had long since been closed down and left to wither away.

After looking around the area some more, she determined that a good place was the side entrance. Inside, the place was completely unrecognizable from what it used to look like. There was a steel stairwell that had rusted so much it collapsed, leaving only the roof exit.

Rei was finally able to find a spot with cover from the rain, giving her time and space to dry off and be alone for a while. She had thought that solitude was what she needed to set her mind straight, finally having some room to just think to herself. And yet; nothing changed.

She thought that by isolating herself from everyone, she would feel less anxious. And that by being alone she would be able to handle these emotions with more ease, and not crack under the pressure they brought with them. But it didn't feel like that at all. Instead, she was now just alone. Feeling the exact same.

Rei felt that build up inside her reach its tipping point, and suddenly she felt a new physical sensation.

Her eyes watered, and tears ran down her cheeks. This caught her completely off guard. She placed her fingers on her face, and pulled them away to examine the tears that were now on her fingers. Rei was crying, and couldn't stop no matter how hard she tried.

'What is this?' She mentally asked herself. 'Tears... am I the one who is crying? I'm... crying?'

She began to sniffle, her crying only getting worse from there. The tears wouldn't stop flowing, and pretty soon she found herself sobbing as well. Her lip began to quiver, and her crying turned hysterical. She buried her face in her hands, letting it all out.

"I- I-" She tried saying in between sniffles, her voice shaky as she tried maintaining her uncontrollable sobbing. "I- I don't want t-to be alone..."

Rei curled herself up into a ball and lay on her side atop the cold concrete she sat on, continuing to cry her eyes out as the emotions overtook her. So this is what it was all building up to. She knew the Commander would find this concerning, and wondered what she was going to do about it once she returned home or was found. This was troubling her quite a bit.

In an unconscious attempt to comfort herself, she shifted her thoughts to Shinji.

"I don't want to be alone..."

NERV HQ, GENETICS POD LABORATORY

2:03pm:

"You have a plan to recover Shinji?" Misato asked.

"We might, yes." Said Ritsuko. "Maya, please explain..."

Maya walked up in front of Misato as she held numerous files within her hands, filled with hours of painstaking research she had done with Ritsuko.

"Shinji's body may have disappeared, but as you know the pod is still picking up a human soul inside it. This means that Shinji's body has lost its ego boundaries, and still exists within the pod as quantum particles." Explained Maya.

"His body and mind have vanished, but are still detectable. The L.C.L still carries his body, while his psyche has absorbed by the core. It means we still have a chance of extracting him from there, we'll just have to find the right method to reconstruct his body." Added Ritsuko.

"I see." Misato said. "And is this... entirely possible?"

"According to the Magi's calculations, yes." Ritsuko replied.

"So it's just possible in theory. But if that's the only chance we're being given, then we'll go through with it." The Major said, feeling a lot less hopeless now that there was at least some light at the end of the tunnel.

"Right, we don't have much time to waste. Maya, I'm gonna need you to grab my computing system over at the Science & Research Facility. I'm going to transfer some codes I programmed for this operation from that system onto the pod's database." Ritsuko ordered.

"Yes ma'am." Maya said as she rushed out of the control room to fetch the computer, the room itself having been made a complete mess by now.

With how urgent the situation was, many members of NERV's science department - including Ritsuko - had brought sleeping bags and tons of laptops and other electronics. The floor was practically an entanglement of thick and thin cables, loose sheets of paper with printed binary and loads of other data had been sprawled all over the room.

Misato sighed again, which she found she had been doing quite a lot in the last few days. She was stressing over the possibility of losing Shinji, but was also feeling rather groggy because of her increased alcohol intake. Almost every morning, when already hungover from the previous night, she downed a beer or two just to feel better somewhat about herself.

Ritsuko knew her too well, as she had encountered Misato hangover in their morning classes back in their college days.

"Y'know you shouldn't be drinking the way you do, especially not in times like these." She said. "You're hurting a lot, and I understand that. But we still need you here, Misato. That, and it's probably the worst thing you can do when you're depressed."

"Health tips? Coming from the chain-smoker of all people?" Misato replied passive aggressively. Ritsuko rolled her eyes.

"Just trying to help." She uttered under her breath as she held a half-burnt cigarette between her fingers. Misato instantly felt remorseful for her comment, having been extremely short-fused with everyone lately.

"Ugh, I'm sorry Rits. I'm just... so spent with everything that's going on y'know." Misato tried explaining.

Right when Ritsuko was about to respond to her friend, a phone rung behind her and one of the scientists picked up. He called for Ritsuko, making her think the Commander was on the line.

"Give me a sec, Misato." She said as she received the phone. "This is Dr. Akagi speaking."

Her eyes widened.

"What? What do you mean she's-?" Ritsuko stopped, taking a few seconds to gather her thoughts. "Do you guys know where she is? Or where she's gone to?"

"Ritsuko what's going on?" Misato asked, knowing something was seriously wrong.

"Shit." Ritsuko said quietly. "Right, well thank you." She put the phone back on the hook.

"What happened? Who was that?" Misato asked again. Ritsuko began dialing a number on the phone before answering her.

"It was classroom 2-A's teacher. Ayanami, she just up and left class without a trace apparently..." She said, still in disbelief.

"You're kidding..." Misato said with a dropped jaw, also shocked at the news.

"Hello, Commander? Rei's baseline test is going to have to be put on hold. She's gone missing, it seems." Ritsuko explained while pinching her forehead in frustration.

"The teacher said she left without a word, and that she ignored him completely." She said to Gendo. "A Section 2 search team? Alright then, send her to my office once she's returned."

'Something tells me the results of this baseline test will be different...' She thought.

Ritsuko hung up and slouched on her chair, now having to deal with yet another headache of a problem. Her stress levels had gone through the roof in the past week alone, showing by the amount of cigarette butts marked with red lipstick on the ashtray beside her. She groaned.

"Can these problems stop piling up on my lap for just one day?"

TOKYO-3, DOCK AT LAKE ASHI

7:49pm:

Rei rested her back on the now-warm concrete floor, staring upwards at the rusty ceiling of this once-great restaurant. The tears had stopped flowing some hours ago, but the ever-expanding void she felt inside continued to grow. Her dried tears could still be seen as markings on her pale face.

It seemed it had stopped raining, though she couldn't tell exactly when it did. The loose gutters and collapsed ceiling allowed so much water in and the pouring sound had masked when the rain came to an end.

'The sky was crying with me.' She thought.

She wondered when she'd go back home, and what she'd say to the Commander and Dr. Akagi about what happened earlier that day. She wondered if she'd even go back at all that night, feeling so troubled that she couldn't bear to face them.

Rei was especially worried about what Gendo would think of all of this, and what he'd do because of it.

She sat up, finally finding the energy to push herself off the filthy floor that had stained her school uniform. It was still damp from the rain, which only made it pick up more dust and dirt from the floor. The backside was mostly stained by now, and she didn't give it any thought.

The crying was a lot for her to handle. She had never done so before, making her feel almost ill. And though she really disliked the feeling of utter hopelessness she had gone through while crying, she realized something by the time she had stopped.

It was cathartic, as she felt like a huge weight taken off her shoulders.

And now she was left with her thoughts, which she still tried shutting out. No matter what it was that she thought of, it pained her. And she wanted it to just end already. Rei was mentally exhausted.

'It's dark outside...' She thought, only now realizing how long she had been in there.

The trapped heat inside the torn room made it unbearable to stay in there any longer, and Rei decided she'd go up for some fresher air. The place stunk of all kinds of trash, its horrid scent plaguing every inch of the room.

She walked up the rusted steel steps leading to the roof exit. As Rei continued her ascent, another emotion came flooding into her heart. This one felt different; something less overwhelming, but twice as strong.

Then another memory.

Shinji, kneeling defeatedly in front of Gendo as the older man stared apathetically. She could sense the same emotion she was feeling within at that moment, watching the man use his son as a tool and nothing more. And at that moment, she came to a painful realization.

It was no different from how he utilized Rei.

Then as the memory continued, she saw Shinji lunge at Gendo right as the vision ended. She didn't know what Shinji had done to his father just then, yet again wondering where these visions were coming from in the first place.

Rei finally reached the door to the outside, and opened it to leave the cluttered interior of the long-abandoned place. The floors were still wet with rain water, but it was no longer pouring as much. A light breeze rolled by, momentarily cooling her down amid the tropical heat.

She watched as air traffic flowed in the distance, the red tail lights of each passing spinner collectively forming what looked like a river of lights.

Rei liked how they contrasted with the black void of nothingness that was the unlit skies of Lake Ashi. She marveled at how they brought color to an otherwise lifeless night sky, finding a way in her head to relate her life to it somehow.

A void, wishing for some color to enter her life.

She looked at her hand once more and wondered if there was even anything she could to to change it at this point. The Commander certainly wouldn't be pleased, being that he very much needed her for his plans. It felt like there was no escape, no glimmer of hope at all for her.

But as her eyes remained on her hand as she thought of Shinji again.

'This... is my hand.' She mused. 'Not the Commander's, not Dr. Akagi's... mine.'

Rei felt a sudden gust of wind kick up behind her, it clearly being a vehicle of some sort. When she turned around, she found a spinner flashing a bright spotlight down on her, causing her to shield her eyes from the overwhelming brightness.

"Rei Ayanami! This is Section 2, you are to come with us immediately! Get on your knees and put your hands up!" A voice blared from a speaker attached onto the spinner itself.

She did as she was told, and the vehicle proceeded to land right next to her as two men in black suits and sunglasses exited the spinner to handle her. Rei didn't show much emotion at that point, not really knowing what was going to happen to her once she was brought back to HQ.

As the two men walked her to the vehicle, she thought back to the cycle she was being forced back into;

The more-than-weekly checkups with Dr. Akagi, the emotionless talks Commander Ikari would inevitably have with her, and her worn-down apartment, which she had found to be not much different from the place she had taken shelter in that night. This would not do anymore.

She looked at the night sky once more before being seated in the spinner. Rei didn't like the void of nothingness she was staring at.

'I do not wish for this colorless life anymore.'