Chapter 40: Bother

"Lion-O, come to bed, love. You're exhausted."

I don't move, even as Cheetara gently shakes my arm. She sighs before sitting at my side, her hand resting on mine. Still, I don't respond as I watch over my brother's motionless form on the bed before me. He's managing to cling on to life but he's badly injured. Pumyra said that he was extremely lucky because a fall like that should have killed him instantaneously, the very second that he hit the ground. But I don't know if he really is lucky - he's heavily sedated to keep him from moving as the recovery will take a very long time, if he even wakes up again.

"It's not fair, 'Tara. It should be me laying there, having been thrown from a cliff. It should be me with the extensive internal injuries because Mumm-Ra was there to finish us both off…now Leo could die and I don't deserve to be here…"

"Don't say that, you know that's not true!"

"How do you know that though?" I cry, turning to face her as she jumps in shock at the speed of my movement, "You weren't even there! You don't know what I saw! You don't know what I had to deal with! You're not the one who had to carry their dying brother back to the Lair because the Sword of Omens wouldn't respond when you called it! You're not-not…"

She takes hold of me and drags me towards her, holding me close against her chest as I finally break down into frustrated sobs of agony. She trails her fingers through my mane and I hear her sniffling, knowing that she's picking up on the emotional turmoil churning up inside of me. I feel like a complete wreck because I potentially witnessed my brother's death.

"Lion-O…Look, I have never been through what you're going through because I never had any siblings but I am here for you whenever you need me."

"I know, it's just so hard…and I know that me and Leo never really got on well with each other but this is so painful. What the hell am I supposed to do if he doesn't make it? Jøhba will hate me - he's lost his brother and now his dad could die too…both deaths would have been something that I could have prevented…"

Cheetara gently strokes the fur on my arms as I sigh, watching Pumyra change the blood packet on the IV line. Jøhba did fly into a rage at me but I don't really blame him because it's likely that he holds me responsible for what happened to my brother. It's been a day and the improvements in his condition, if there have been any, haven't been noticeable.

"Come on," Cheetara says as she gently pulls me to my feet, "Come to bed and let Pumyra do her checks in peace. You need to sleep and I don't want to have to sedate you like I had to last night."

Begrudgingly, I go with her even though I really don't want to. I know that I'm probably going to have nightmares about that evening. I know that it's going to be a memory that traumatises me for the rest of my life – twins always share a special bond that scientists can't explain, in which we can sense each other's thoughts but due to Leo being under sedation, I can't sense anything from him.

I sit myself down on the edge of the bed as I heave a heavy sigh, sick to my stomach with worry. I only react when Cheetara taps my shoulder, an action which brings me back to my senses as I see the worried expression. She knows just how hard this is on my mental health and I really appreciate the fact that she's there for me. I peel my top off and look down at the scars on my chest whilst remembering the times that resulted in them. How have I always been so lucky? How have I been so lucky to survive every time but my brother almost died from the first severe injury?

"You missed the dosage of your antidepressants and your Ivabradine this morning, didn't you?"

"Yeah…I didn't mean to though."

"I know that you didn't but you need to try to remember to take them. They're helping you out with a lot and we don't want to risk anything nasty from you not taking them."

She brings me the pills and a glass of water, which I take before getting myself ready for bed. I lay myself down on the pillows and stare up at the ceiling, my head racing yet I feel numb. Cheetara slips into bed beside me and rests her head on my chest as I stroke the soft fur on her back, making her purr happily.

"I love you, Lion-O… I always will."

"I love you too babe…" I whisper back, rolling onto my side and taking her in my arms as she rests her back against my chest. She nuzzles my arm as she purrs, and I can't help but finally smile. I've never understood just how truly lucky I am to have the cheetah in my life. I breathe in the sweet scent of her fur and freshly washed mane, feeling myself relax further as I slowly drift off into sleep…

I sit up as my eyes fly open, my heart pounding in my chest as my breath comes in ragged gasps. I place a hand over my chest as I try to steady my heart rate. I look over at the clock and see that it's two forty-seven in the morning. Why did I wake up? Glancing down at Cheetara, I see that she's still asleep. Obviously I couldn't have woken her up but I'm still somewhat confused about how she's still asleep despite me waking as violently as I just did. I slip out of bed and quietly make my way to the kitchenette, grabbing a glass of water which I quickly chug before looking out over the living room.

Something doesn't feel right and I really don't like that. The rain lashing the windows is soothing and rhythmic, and I watch it as I clean my glass before drying it and putting it away. I return to the bedroom and see that Cheetara is awake, and she looks at me as I walk into the bedroom.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No, I woke up suddenly about five to ten minutes ago and went to get a drink of water. Something doesn't feel right, it's weird…"

I feel her body against my back as she rubs by chest, and I purr at the sensation of her claws running against the grain of my coat, making my fur stand on end as she chuckles.

"I know that I've said this hundreds of times already but I love it when your fur does that. It's so thick and fluffy."

I lay back as I pull her into my arms, my head landing into my pillow while I purr happily with my wife against my chest. The feelings of uncertainty slowly fade away as I feel myself drifting back off to sleep and, once I wake again, the sun is streaming in through the curtains.

I push myself up as Cheetara stirs, my head fogged and my body aching. Sitting up, I curse in Barbary at the pains in my chest and belly as I get up, walk over to the bathroom and take my pills with a deep groan. I hate feeling this way but it's actually been a few weeks since the last time I did. What's going on?

"Is everything ok babe?"

I look up at Cheetara as she stands in the doorway, watching me carefully. I swallow what little saliva I have in my mouth, my throat dry and sore, before I finally respond to her.

"I feel strange…"

"How so?"

"I don't know how to explain it. It feels like a head cold but the rest of my body is fine."

"That's weird."

I hear one of the doors in the suite open and Katzeran speaking in fluent Barbary to one of his friends on the phone and when me and 'Tara leave the room, we see him dressed in his school uniform and packing his bag for the day as he stuffs his lunch into his bag. He sees us as he continues talking, grabbing some toast before taking his blazer from the coat hooks by the door, only stopping when there's a knock on the door of the suite.

The kitten stops what he's doing and opens the door before looking up at myself and Cheetara.

"Mum, Dad, Pumyra's here."

I glance at my wife as she too looks at me and that's when the feeling of dread washes over me, making me feel sick to my stomach with worry about what it is that the puma has come to tell us.

We go down the stairs as Katz invites Pumyra in, and the kitten hastily leaves as the puma sits down in the seat across the coffee table from me. I anxiously wring my hands, shaking slightly as Cheetara brings over three cups of coffee. I sip from my cup, burning my tongue and mouth but I don't really care.

"So, Pumyra," Cheetara says as she sits down beside me, her hand resting on my thigh, "I assume that you have news?"

The puma nods in response, but she looks solemn. This can't be good…

"I'm afraid that it is not good news like I was hoping to have. Something happened last night and Leo began bleeding into his chest and abdomen again – the haemorrhaging was just so violent and sudden. I'm so sorry Lion-O, but no matter how hard we tried, there was nothing that myself and Tygra could do…"

The rest of her words don't register, becoming background noise as the sensation of numbness spreads through my entire body. Shock overwhelms me when I realise that my brother is dead, the knot in my throat refusing to clear as it feels like I struggle to breathe. My breath catches in my throat as the tears threaten to fall, and it feels like the walls are closing in around me as my heart pounds against my ribs like a wild animal longing to be freed from its cage. This can't be happening, it feels too unlucky to be true.

"At what time did he pass on to the Astral?"

"Two forty seven in the morning…"

The cup smashes on the floor and coats me in scalding hot coffee as it slips from my grasp, feeling my hands twitch whilst the cold, harsh realisation kicks in – I only woke when I did because I sensed Leo passing on from the mortal realm. I jump when Cheetara dabs the coffee from my legs with a small towel before picking up the sharp slivers of ceramic shards.

The cheetah's arms close around me soon afterward but I don't react to it, now knowing how to do so. I feel her lips brushing my ear but I don't take in a word that she's saying – the shock is just too much.

Time feels like it's just standing still, almost like I'm only drifting through the day. Almost as if time doesn't exist. I can't focus on any of my paperwork that afternoon, staring blankly at the screen of my computer as thousands of thoughts run riot inside of my troubled mind. I hate this…I hate it so much. I stare at the screen of the monitor in front of me until my eyes start to hurt from the continuous strain. This isn't going to be good, I can't throw myself into work to distract myself from the reality of what's happened. I still have to explain it to the kids and whilst I know that Katzeran will understand and deal with it, I'm honestly worried about Lola's reaction. It's not something that people would expect but my daughter has always been fairly close with her uncle and I know that this news is going to crush her.

"Dad? Dinner's ready. It's roasted venison."

I look up as Katzeran walks into my office, still dressed in his school uniform. The kitten has his mane slung down his back in the typical Barbary braid , his arms crossed over his chest.

"Not right now Katz, I'm busy."

"No. Mum told me to tell you that you're to come and spend time with us."

"Did she also tell you about what happened earlier? That's why I'm not leaving here – the Living Room in our suite will forever remind me of that moment!"

"I know what you're like, Dad, and I'm not going to allow it. Trust me, I'm distraught at the news about Uncle Leo and I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel but you can't hole yourself away like this – you need to be around people."

"And I will be later."

"Don't make me go to get Mum. I might not be able to get you to listen but I know that Mum will give you an earful. You haven't eaten anything today, I can tell because your hands are shaking."

I force myself to get up after shutting the computer down, following my son back to the suite. Nothing is said by either of us but is there really anything to be said? As we walk into the suite, I see Lola sat at the small dining table as Cheetara places the sliced roast on the table.

"Sit down you two, before it gets cold."

We both sit down at the table and dish our plates up but I barely eat anything. I just push the meat and potatoes around on my plate as Cheetara looks at me.

"Come on and eat something. Please. Even if it's just a little bit."

"I can't…"

She sighs as she eats her vegetables, but I sit and stare at my still full plate. I can't bring myself to eat even a mouthful despite how hungry I am. After what feels like forever, I eventually manage to force myself to eat but even then I only manage half of the plate.

"That's better than nothing," 'Tara says as I carry my plate out to the kitchen, "Although I really would prefer the whole plate be clean. I'm grateful that you at least ate something. I know that it's hard Lion-O, but it means so much to me that you're trying."

I turn to leave the suite again then and I only stop when a hand settles on my shoulder.

"Where are you going, babe? I'd rather you stayed here and relaxed."

"There's something that I feel I have to do…"

—

I sigh as I look down at my brother's body, laying still on the gurney before me. His skin still bears the ugly bruising from the fall and I can't help but growl. His last conscious moments in this existence were marred by fear and pain and I couldn't do anything to ease his suffering.

"I'm so sorry Leo…I failed you." I murmur, placing a hand down on his arm which feels wrong. His skin is pale and cold and his eyes are closed, thankfully, as he had been asleep when he passed. The telltale Y-shaped scar on his chest and abdomen show that Pumyra and the medical staff have already completed his autopsy. I look at the tag on the black bag which the older lion lays in and see that the cause of his death was multiple organ failure due to extreme internal injuries.

Swallowing down the tears that threaten to spill, I tuck the tag away and zip the bag up again before practically jumping out of my skin when Tygra walks round the corner.

"I thought that I'd find you here, but what made you come here?"

"I-I came because I-I never h-had the chance to say goodbye…"

The tiger sees what I'm doing and he bows his head slightly in sympathy.

"I can't speak for your feelings and emotions on this because I didn't have any siblings but I can imagine what you are going through is very unpleasant. But you know that you can come and talk to myself and Pumyra whenever you need or want to."

"But Tygra, Pumyra is busy with her cubs and you're waiting on the birth of your new son. I can't just come to find you both randomly because you both have your own lives to live. My mental health shouldn't be more important than your families."

"Lion-O, you're our King and Lord. If it weren't for your triumphs in the past then none of us would have our families."

I sigh, following the tiger after carefully placing my brother's body back into the chilled compartment. My footsteps echo in my ears as we pass the singles suites, eventually coming to Tygra's one before I carry on. I reach the door but it opens before I can lay my hand on the metal, and I see Cheetara standing before me.

"I know where you went and I don't think that was a very good decision. Come and sit down, love."

She guides me to the sofa and makes me sit down on the soft material as I sigh deeply, shoulders drooped as my wife brings a mug of herbal tea. The soft clatter of porcelain is heard as the cheetah places the cup down on the small table in front of me, and she sits herself down beside me as she takes my hand in hers.

"These are hard times that we're living in now, Lion-O, but you know that you have so many people who are there for you. Who will give you all the support that you need."

"I don't need beating over the head with that fact, I already know but I don't need any kind of support. I'm fine."

"You stubborn lion, you do need support! Everything that has happened to you has made your mental health worse than it ever has been and I am not going to lose you!"

"You're not going to lose me, I promise."

She sighs and looks into my eyes, her expression serious.

"Then why has your medication prescription been increased in catnip dosage? Why has Pumyra came to me to warn me to keep a close eye on you?"

"Okay," I sigh, defeated as I clock the tears forming in the corners of the cheetah's eyes, "Maybe I do need help. Days seem darker now and I don't know how to keep going the way that I have been. I've lost so many from my family in the past few years and I don't know how to cope."

"We'll get something sorted for you though, don't worry about it."

The presence of her hand against my cheek is reassuring and I find myself purring contentedly as I longingly gaze into her beautiful eyes.

"I know that you will…"

I drink the tea before we walk up the stairs to the bedroom, where I see my pyjamas on the chair by the bed. I sit down on the bed, my body meeting the soft linen sheets as I sigh. My wife sits beside me and I can't help but nuzzle her.

"Come on and get ready for bed love, you look exhausted."

"Like you wouldn't believe…" I murmur as I change before slipping into the cold bed beside the cheetah. I feel her arms wrapping around my body, the comforting warmth of her presence chasing away the worst of my thoughts. It's small moments like this that I treasure most, even though times are the way that they are currently. I have always loved being able to escape from the troubles within the world while snuggled up with my lover. My mate – my Queen who I have happily devoted most of my life to. I gently pull her towards me and nestle my chin and cheek into the cascading mass of golden hair, revelling in its softness.

"Try to get some sleep, Lion-O. You need it after the past couple of days."

I cuddle Cheetara close to me as I close my eyes, trying to drift off to sleep and thankfully, due to the medication that Pumyra gave me, it's really not taking long and I'm soon out cold…

(BORDER) —

"I'm really worried about him, Tygra. His mental health has been immaculate up until now and watching him be in this state again? It's heartbreaking because all the progress that he has made throughout the years has gone down the drain."

"You can't know that for sure, Pumyra. Yes, Lion-O has struggled immensely in the past because of everything that has happened throughout his life but he's managed a lot better than what we could ever have expected from somebody as broken as him."

I heave a heavy sigh while flipping through our King's extensive mental and physical health history, reading through the entries. The poor guy has had very bad luck recently with the loss of many of his close family members, and it would seem that Leo's passing only accentuated his horrific grief. Never in a million years could I ever imagine having to cope with the things which he has and, quite frankly, I don't understand how he manages to cope with the situations.

"We've upped his dosage of catnip in his antidepressants but I can safely say that we're going to have to keep a close eye on him from now on. One pattern that I have noticed when people are suffering from depression or other mental illnesses is masking; even if they feel so down that they're at rock-bottom, they'll hide their true feeling behind a fake smile or something else because that's easier to them than talking about how they feel, or they want to protect their families from what they're feeling. It's honestly sad because most people don't realise that they have so many loved ones who need them."

"We're just going to have to wait and see how he reacts to the medication before making any judgements."

(BORDER) —

The Following Night

"Lion-O, it is time."

I turn to face Jøhba upon hearing his voice to see the young lion stood behind me, dressed in the traditional clothing of the Chieftain of the Ferrals. His face is sullen with emotion yet I fully understand why, seeing as how tonight we are commencing with the sacred Ferral ritual of returning the body of his Father to the Earth and his soul to the Astral. Personally, I would have rather been doing this further down the line because my brother was still so young when he died – we aren't even forty yet. I will forever carry the guilt of his death on my shoulders – it was something that I could have prevented from happening. Something that I should have prevented. I should have been sterner when Leo wanted to go to the cliffs. But I wasn't and now he's gone.

I look down at my twin's body on the table before me. The horrible discolouration on his face and bare chest are telling signs of his painful demise, and I'm just so grateful for the fact that he was in a medically induced coma when his body eventually failed on him – it would have been so much worse if he'd have been conscious. His body is adorned with traditional ancestral symbols and, emblazoned on his chest in a bright red pigment, is the Eye of Thundera. Although he spent the best part of his life claiming to not be, he's always been a Thundercat since myself and he were born.

I help Jøhba with tightly wrapping Leo's body back in the oiled cloth, making sure that every area is covered by the flammable material. This isn't fairThis isn't fair on myself or my nephew that this has happened but it's all a part of life. Death is the only thing in life that is promised to us

I help Jøhba with tightly wrapping Leo's body back in the oiled cloth, making sure that every area is covered by the flammable material. This isn't fair on myself or my nephew that this has happened but it's all a part of life. Death is the only thing that is promised to us and life is what we take it as.

The weight of the body takes me by surprise as I scoop him up, trying to ignore what feels like thousands of eyes boring into my back but I know that I'm just imagining them. A breeze blows through the clearing as I make my way to the pyre that sits before a statue of one of the Ancient Gods on the hillside, and I take it as a sign that my brother is there with me, reassuring me with every step that I take. I pass my friends, family and the Ferrals as I approach the pyre before placing Leo's body down.

"This wasn't your fault. Never think that it was, Lion-O, because it wasn't."

Through the thick tears that threaten to break, I only just manage to see Jaga's apparition in front of me with Leo by his side. My brother looks so different in his spirit form – he doesn't look a day over twenty-five and there's no signs of the horrifying injuries that claimed his life. I can't help but smile slightly at the sight, despite the tears and, within moments, the pair have disappeared as I quickly compose myself. Relieved that I now know my sibling is ok and happy in the Astral, I turn back to the pyre.

"Leo Vaenaz T'savir K'al'iviryix, beloved Father, Husband and treasured Brother. You were stolen away from this existence too young, but today we return your body to the Earth and your soul to the Stars. Thank you, brother, for being in my life. You made such a positive impact on me and you will be forever remembered and forever missed."

With that, I raise the Sword of Omens.

"Thundercats, HO!"

The bolt of energy ignites the oils soaked into the strips of cloth with ease, and I step back as the flames increase in intensity. Life and Death are polar opposites, and life itself is a journey from one destination to another. It's a gift that can be taken back at any moment and none of us realise just how precious time is until it's too late. I sense Cheetara as she stands beside me, her hand slipping into mine.

"He is with your parents and his family now, Lion-O. His spirit is at peace within the Astral, and he has found his mate."

"Now that's the type of news that I would prefer to hear." I respond quietly, sheathing the Sword as we watch the fire. Although I wish the circumstances were completely different and that the whole thing never happened, it brings me great comfort to know that my brother is fine.

To Be Continued…