A/N: I'm back with another normal update!
This chapter went in a completely different direction than what I was expecting.
Just a quick note before you read, last chapter I mentioned that Byleth was unable to get a headache from her oversensitivity because of her crest but I decided that she gets a headache because it is her crest that is causing it after all.
Now enjoy the chapter!
Blue Sea Moon 1180:
Twenty-Ninth of the Blue Sea Moon:
With a groan Bylelth awoke but she refused to open her eyes, let alone get up. She didn't dream. Of course, there were times where she dreamed of Sothis sleeping but given everything that had happened to her as of late, she was sure those were not dreams, and that she had simply slipped into Sothis' world. So, she didn't dream. And yet she had one last night. Or at least she assumed it was one, but it felt more like a memory, but it wasn't one of hers.
In her dream a massive battle played out before her. One force was led by a tall, terrifying, and muscular man that wielded the Sword of the Creator. She was tempted to believe that her dream was actually a memory from the sword, but that idea sounded ridiculous and yet she had no other theory to go off on. The other force was led by an intimidating but yet beautiful woman that had long, green hair. She seemed so familiar, like Byleth knew her, but the woman's image had quickly faded upon awakening.
"Wake up!" Sothis yelled, and Byleth snapped her eyes open in alarm. Instead of starring up at her roof, like she expected, Byleth instead, was greeted with the ethereal image of Sothis smiling down at her. The young woman blinked her eyes a few times but the image of Sothis never vanished. "Surprised?" Sure, that she was still half asleep, Byleth lazily nodded.
"I am not sure what happened. I awoke feeling stronger and I was able to manifest myself in this form Though I am sure you are most likely the only one that can see me."
Byleth was unsure of what to say so she chose to simply stare at Sothis in silence. With the mysterious girl finally awake, Byleth felt a relief she couldn't explain, but she didn't really care to find out why. Absentmindedly, the professor's gaze followed Sothis as she floated back and forth, until the girl haired girl fixated her gaze on Byleth. It was a look that Byleth knew meant she needed to say something, but she still couldn't really think of anything to say.
"You slept for a long time," Byleth finally said the first thing that came to mind, and Sothis stared at her for a moment before bursting out laughing.
"Did you miss me?"
"Yes." A light blush colored Sothis' cheeks and she looked away.
Byleth finally found the reason for her the relief she felt and that it was born simply because Sothis was awake. Sothis might have been a reason for many of Byleth's problems lately, but the girl was also the only one Byleth could really confide in. She felt bad that she couldn't give her friends the same treatment, but her problems were just too outlandish to share.
Sothis' lightly coughed into her hand, pulling Byleth's attention back to her. "Anyway," the mysterious girl's pitch was higher than normal but Byleth decided to not comment on it. "What is this?" Sothis drifted over to the side of the bed and Byleth's gaze lazily followed as she made no effort to sit up. Sothis was now hovering over the Sword of the Creator that was still impaled into the wall as Byleth couldn't have been bothered to deal with it, last night.
"It's a sword in the wall," the former mercenary said matter-of-factly.
Sothis gave her a pointed stare. "I can see that. Why is it in the wall?"
"Because I threw it at the wall, and it got stuck." The stare morphed into a small glare but Byleth refused to say more. Silently, Sothis drifted over to Byleth, who grew tired of the glare and turned away.
"Byleth!" Sothis whined, and the said woman sighed.
"The sword apparently gives me a boost to strength." The young woman pulled the covers over her head. "Pretty standard for a weapon relic. It's kind of disappointing." Sothis shouted Byleth's name again, but the professor ignored it. The mysterious girl didn't stop her shouting even when Byleth tried to cover her head with her pillow.
Sothis didn't relent and now that she could float around made the assault even more annoying. With a loud groan Byleth finally gave in and sat up so that she could tell Sothis about everything that happened while the girl slept. Recounting last night's events reignited Byleth's anger as well as guilt. Sighing, she collapsed against her bed as the memory of her friends' hurt expressions flashed before her eyes. As if she could shield herself from the memory, she covered her eyes with her hands, but of course, it did nothing.
"You have been through a lot since I have been asleep," Sothis said after a moment of silence. Byleth said nothing.
The professor continued to remain in her position, unmoving. She could feel Sothis hovering over her and she reluctantly pulled her hands, away from her face. Just she had expected Sothis was looking down at her with an expression she didn't like.
"I bet you are feeling guilty for how you acted last night," Sothis said, and Byleth couldn't look her in the eye. Sothis didn't say anything and laid down, more like hovered, next to Byleth. A silence settled over them as they stared up at the roof.
After a moment of neither of them doing anything, Byleth was the first to act by sitting up. She didn't say anything right away and instead took a deep breath. "I should apologize but…but I don't want too," Byleth finished with a sigh.
"I think it is just one person that you do not wish to apologize too." Byleth looked at Sothis, who was now coping Byleth and was "sitting" on the edge of the bed. The mysterious girl made sure to lock eyes with Byleth before continuing, "it is the prince you do not wish to apologize too. Am I correct?"
Byleth pressed her lips together and stared passed Sothis. A bright light was shining through the window, even though the curtains were drawn. If she didn't get ready soon, she was going to miss breakfast. She continued to stare at the window for a few more seconds before her gaze slowly drifted to the floor.
"Wouldn't it be unfair to apologize to everyone but him?" Byleth asked when she couldn't deny Sothis' words.
"Given how much he hurt you, he deserves a lot worse!"
Byleth didn't say anything and continued to keep her gaze on the floor. Her hands fiddled with themselves as no real thought came to her. With a sigh she finally got up. If she was going to be lost in thought, she might as well do it while eating.
It wasn't until she was reaching for the door that Sothis spoke up again, "By do not forgive the prince until he apologizes!"
Byleth paused at the door for a moment. Eventually she decided to not say anything and opened it. On the other side of the door was Dimitri, who was in the process of about to knock. A little gasp escaped him but other than that the two were silent as they stared at each other, as if they were frozen.
Dimitri was the first to recover by bringing his hand down to lightly cough into it. "Excuse me for disturbing you," he said a bit awkwardly, but she didn't comment on it. "I did not see you at the Dinning Hall and I feared that you might have possibly overslept…" She continued to stare at him in silence and he squirmed a little. "It would not be good to miss breakfast so I…um…came to check on you." By the end of his sentence a light blush dusted his cheeks, and he was looking away.
She still persisted with her silent treatment. Glancing behind her, she saw Sothis giving her a look and was firmly shaking her head no. She brought her gaze back to Dimitri, who was still looking away. He seemed to be none the wiser to Sothis, so Byleth assumed that the mysterious girl's theory was correct. Her lips tighten as she dropped her gaze slightly, it would be so much easier if he could see Sothis.
"Did you eat breakfast yet?" she asked, and he jumped a little.
"Pardon?" His gaze returned to her. "Uh, no I have not." He rubbed the back of his head and the light blush returned. "I came to check on you as soon as I noticed your absence."
Her gaze drifted away as she pushed past him and he made no attempts to stop her. At the bottom of the steps that led to the ground, she stopped when she noticed that he wasn't following her. Sothis was floating by her door shaking her head and Byleth struggled to look in that direction. Hesitating for a moment, she finally looked at him and focused solely on him. He was staring at the ground before him, completely oblivious to her.
Sothis quickly moved to float before Dimitri, blocking Byleth's view of him. The mysterious girl continued to shake her head as well as repeat, "you better not!". Byleth pressed her lips together. She couldn't ignore him. Sothis' eyes narrowed and Byleth could no longer look her in the eye.
"Are you not coming?" She ignored Sothis' annoyed cry to watch as Dimitri instantly perked up. "We can't miss breakfast."
He stumbled on the steps as he rushed over to her. "Is it truly alright?" he asked in a hopeful tone that sparked mix emotions in her.
She looked towards the direction of the Dinning Hall, mostly to avoid Sothis' glare. "You need to eat too." She hoped what she said was vague enough for Sothis, but the continued glare told her otherwise. She didn't know if she could live up to Sothis' standards because there was just no way, she could have ignored him when he looked so lost.
They walked in silence, but Dimitri didn't seem to mind as there was a large smile on his face. Byleth could have enjoyed the silence if a certain girl wasn't constantly complaining. Sothis becoming ethereal was going to become a problem because complaints in her head was one thing but having to see a nagging Sothis before her was another thing.
As they walked it suddenly felt like they passed through a veil. She came to an abrupt stop when everything felt off. It felt like the morning brightness got much stronger without warning and she struggled to keep her eyes open because of it. The feint smell of Dimitri's cologne became incredibly potent, as if he had just suddenly dumped an entire bottle on him. She placed her hands on her temples ready to try and message the headache that would be coming away, though she knew it would do very little. She did notice that her skin was hot, but she didn't get to dwell on it for long.
"By, are you alright?" he practically yelled his question at her, and she groaned. His earlier volume was perfect, so there was no need for the sudden increase.
"There is no need to yell," she mumbled.
"Pardon?" She glanced at him and he seemed genuinely surprised. He furrowed his brows as he looked at the ground. "I was not yelling though." His tone was softer than before but still unnecessarily loud.
She wanted to comment on it but decided against it. He didn't look like he was lying, and she couldn't see a reason as to why he would lie over such a thing, which meant the problem was with her. Her head throbbed making it difficult for her to think of the possible reasons as to what could have caused it.
"Are you okay?" Sothis asked as she floated before Byleth. The young woman stared at the mysterious girl for a moment. Sothis' volume didn't bother her, but then again it didn't bother her when she had a hangover; except for when she yelled that one time.
Byleth's eyes widen for a moment before she quickly shut them thanks to the brightness. She did go drinking last night, even though she didn't get drunk, so she wondered if she was possibly having a delayed hangover, if such a thing existed. She got the feeling that wasn't the case, but she decided it was a good enough explanation for now.
"I'm fine," she finally answered them, and continued on her way as if nothing had happened.
"Are you sure?" Dimitri asked as he jogged to catch up to her. "I can escort you to the infirmary, if needed!" She swallowed the groan that nearly escaped her and struggled to keep her blank expression. He was just too loud.
"It's just a hangover. Nothing to worry about." She never once glanced at him as she said that.
"I wish you would not drink so much," he mumbled under his breath, but it was loud and clear to her, almost like he had said that at a normal volume. From the corner of her eyes, she spied him frowning and looking at the ground as they walked.
"You have a better chance of your wish coming true if you asked for the goddess to descend before you and making pigs fly than asking for a mercenary to stop drinking." He chuckled slightly at that and the corner of her lips twitched into a smile, to which she received a disapproving glare from Sothis.
The walk to the Dinning Hall was pleasant, or at least pleasant enough with her senses being bombarded. The walk over felt so much shorter than normal, and she would almost admit that it was thanks to Dimitri's presence, but she didn't want to hear an exasperated sigh from Sothis. She was almost disappointed that the walk had ended so quickly.
Just standing outside the hall was already overwhelmingly loud and she feared what inside would be like. Before she could tell Dimitri that she wasn't hungry anymore he opened the door and it felt like the sheer volume had slapped her in the face. She really didn't want to enter but she never got the chance to voice it as those that had seen her started shouting at her to enter.
What she heard from the open door was nothing compared to what was inside. It was so loud that she couldn't make out a single voice, even when a person was standing right in front of her. And the smells! There were just so many that it was all so disorienting. She was sure this could be used as a form of torture.
Despite her wanting to run away, she ignored that desire and ordered her breakfast. She tried. She really tried to handle everything, but she couldn't. She practically threw her tray of food away as soon as she got it and ran out of there. She was sure many called for her, but she couldn't make out any of the voices.
She barely made it to the garden's edge before she collapsed to her knees. Clutching her head, she curled into a ball as she desperately tried to tune out the world, but everything was just too loud. A whimper escaped her when the scent of flowers started to assault her.
"By?! Are you okay?" Dimitri asked in a much too loud volume. Gently he placed a hand upon her back, but she didn't budge. "Are you hurt? In pain?" She wanted to shout at him! To silence him! But her voice would just add to the noise.
More voices called out to her and she just wanted to cry. In a futile attempt she tried to curl into herself, in an attempt to cover her head more and hope that it would have some kind of effect, but it didn't. Everyone's kind words felt like thousands of knives stabbing into her head. She would prefer a sword piercing into her chest over this torture.
A new, loud voice joined the mix but whoever it belonged too managed to quiet all the others. The owner of the new voice placed their hand on her back, but she didn't respond. It wasn't until she heard the person say something about a quiet place that had her snapping her head up.
Cyril had been the one to joined them. She wasn't sure what to make of his presence as she couldn't decided if she should trust him or not; but at that moment she didn't care because he said something about a quiet place and that was all that matter at that moment. Without thinking she latched onto him, and he seemed a little bothered by it but didn't say anything about it.
"Lady Rhea suspected that you might be having some trouble right now," Cyril said, and she frowned. That was not what she wanted to hear but she didn't get a chance to express herself.
"Is something wrong with By?!" Dimitri shouted, and she whimpered. She had already concluded that everyone wasn't shouting but when they did, it was so much worse.
Cyril placed a finger to his lips and Dimitri instantly quieted. She wanted to thank the boy but didn't as she knew that it would make Dimitri feel guilty. As quietly as she could, she got onto her feet but didn't dare to dust herself off, less she make too much noise.
"Lady Rhea has sent me to get you so that you could eat breakfast in her room with her. She wanted me to let you know that it is quiet there."
"Yes!" Byleth accidently shouted and was grateful that her own volume wasn't a problem. Everyone stared at her in shock, but she didn't really notice as she was too busy ushering Cyril away.
She didn't care that she was going to see the archbishop, or the fact that she would be alone with that woman. The floor to the archbishop's room was off limits to all but a select few making it the quietest area in all of Garreg Mach, and that was all she cared about. They couldn't get there fast enough, and she was half tempted to just leave Cyril behind and just rush over there.
Byleth would have never thought that she would enjoy a meal with the archbishop but there she was happily eating her meal. Not only was the room nice and quiet the meal was also a much higher quality than what was served in the Dinning Hall. The archbishop ate her meal so gracefully that she barely made a sound, and Byleth did the same, grateful for the etiquette lessons being drilled into her. The meal would have been perfect if the archbishop's chewing wasn't so loud but compared to the Dinning Hall that little noise was nothing.
If the silenced had persisted, Byleth might have reconsidered her dislike for the archbishop but it didn't, and she was ready to run away. The older woman made sure to lock eyes with Byleth before she spoke, "I assume your senses are being overwhelmed, am I correct?" The professor didn't say anything but did arch an eyebrow. "Everything and everyone must suddenly be incredibly loud correct? Smells are terribly strong? The world is too bright? Am I wrong?" Byleth's eyes widen but she didn't say anything.
"Crest grant humans incredible power, even more so if they possess a major crest. But for certain crests, a major crest grants too much power that the human body is unable to cope with. For instance, a major Crest of Blaiddyd grants tremendous strength but the strain it places on the body often results in its bearer having a short life." Byleth gritted her teeth. That fact about the Crest of Blaiddyd had always bothered her and she was forever grateful that Dimitri only possessed a minor one.
"The Crest of Flames," the sound of the archbishop's voice returned Byleth's attention to her. "Provides its bearer considerable power that no other crest can compare. It is after all only bestowed to the goddess' chosen warriors."
"Well, the goddess made a mistake," Byleth quietly mumbled under her breath as she glanced at the floor. A shiver ran down her spine and her gaze quickly flew to the archbishop. The color drained from her face as she stared at the holy woman's glare. She felt so helpless, and her mouth was so dry that she was barely able to finish her thought, "when she chose me."
The archbishop's glare fell away when she closed her eyes, and Byleth released her held breath. When the older woman opened her eyes, Byleth sat straight and rigid, even if the archbishop was no longer showing such hostility. What was once a welcoming silence turned suffocating.
The archbishop took a sip of her tea before speaking again, "if the goddess chose you then there is no mistake." The younger woman struggled to not show her doubt or displeasure. "You are an incredible warrior, kind, and loved dearly by your students and those around you. To me and to everyone, for that matter, you are the perfect choice." Byleth bit the inside of her cheek but said nothing.
"As I was saying earlier, the Crest of Flames does not just provide power, it also enhances its bearer's senses, but it does so to a dangerous degree. A human mind cannot possibly handle all the information that their enhanced senses give. So, to help suppress the crest's power the Goddess created the Sword of the Creator. "Byleth pressed her lips together and continued to remain silent. "Now do you understand why I was pushing for you to wield the Sword of the Creator? It is not just because you are the goddess chosen warrior but because I wish for you to be safe."
Byleth began to bite her lip in order to keep herself quiet. She was the first person in a thousand years to possess the crest and the goddess didn't fix that glaring issue? What a useless goddess. Did the goddess really expect her to be battle ready all the time? Was she supposed to sleep with the Hero Relic?
Slowly the former mercenary's gaze drifted away. She wanted nothing to do with that sword and yet she had no other choice, unless she wanted to go mad thanks to that blasted crest. It was just so stupidly perfect and unfair. She was sure fate had to be mocking her.
Byleth couldn't help herself and a frowned formed on her lips. Why did all of this have to happen to her? And why did she have to learn this from the archbishop of all people? Her eyes widen before her features smoothed into a scowl.
She snapped her gaze upwards to stare at the archbishop and she glared. "How do you know all that?" She was the first person to possess this crest in a thousand years and as far as she knew the original bearer, Nemesis, died before any real records of the crest could be taken; or at least that was what Professor Hanneman told her.
The archbishop narrowed her eyes but remained calm. "I happened upon some ancient documents that discussed the Crest of Flames."
"Let me see them."
"Excuse me?"
"Let me see those documents."
"I am sorry, but those documents are fragile and thus I cannot allow for you to see them."
"Am I not the goddess chosen warrior?"
"Chosen warrior or not. I cannot allow you to see those sensitive documents."
Byleth slammed her hands down on the table hard enough to knock over her cup of tea. Eye contact wasn't broken as she stood up. She glared down at the archbishop, who matched it.
Byleth was the first to break eye contact as she stomped her way over to the door. "I will not wield that damn sword!" She slammed the door, as hard as she could, behind her and didn't care that she startled Cyril or that he was glaring at her as she walked away.
The archbishop must have taken her for a gullible fool. She would have to do much better if she wanted to trick Byleth.
When she got to the ground floor she stopped as her mood had cooled enough to the point that she could think more clearly. What the archbishop said made sense, mostly. If her senses had been enhanced, then that would explain why everyone sounded like they were shouting and why there was no subdue scents. But why would the Sword of the Creator suppress it? All other Hero Relic enhanced their respecting crests' power so why would the Sword of the Creator be different?
When she was in her room everything seemed normal, and it was only when she was a good distance away from it did everything become too much. She vigorously shook her head. No, there had to be another explanation for everything, she was sure of it. She drank a lot last night so she had to be hungover, her body just needed some time to realize that. That was the theory she was going to with, and vigorously ignored the fact that it didn't explain her sensitivity for yesterday.
With a firm shake of her head, she put those thoughts away and rushed to her class.
Byleth arrived at her classroom just in time for it to start but she wasn't prepared. All of her students stared at her in surprise, giving her little time to be annoyed with her situation. It wasn't until she was passing Dimitri that the shock wore off and he stood up, and she swallowed the sigh that almost escaped her.
"By, are you well enough to be teaching right now?" he asked in a higher-than-normal volume, and she winced. "We can manage for a day if you need to rest."
She waited until she was at the front of her class before answering, "I'm fine". It was too simple of a response and she knew none of them would accept it, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. Sure enough, when she turned around to face everyone, she was greeted with looks that had her sighing.
"I have a hangover. That is all." She couldn't look anyone in the eye as she said that. The more she thought that the harder it became for her to believe it, but she clung to it as if it was lifeline.
"That was not like any hangover I have ever gotten," Sylvain commented, and she pressed her lips together.
She turned her backs to them as she didn't trust herself to maintain the illusion that everything was okay. "I drank a lot." Before anyone could contest her weak argument, she began to write on the chalkboard; and she was pleased that everyone got the message as no one said anything else.
After she finished writing her usual headers, she froze. Her notes were in a drawer in her desk, and she knew if she were to break away to search for them, it would just encourage her students to speak out. Her hand that held the chalk, hovered over the chalkboard as she desperately tried to recall where they had left off in the last lesson, but nothing came to mind. Frustratingly she realized just how much had happened in just a few days.
"Professor?' Mercedes called, and Byleth flinched. The professor froze, unable to look at her students and accept defeat. "I had some questions about our last lessons about the strategical advantages that flying units could bring to a battle."
Byleth released a small sigh of relief and her shoulders relaxed considerably. Thanks to Mercedes she could turn around and be sure that no one would challenge her, and it also helped to jog her memory. Mercedes was a saint. And that became even more apart when Byleth turned around and saw the little, knowing smile her student was giving her. She was sure Mercedes was worried about her and she was grateful that the healer didn't push her.
Thanks to Mercedes class was able to proceed smoothly but Byleth's sensitivity never decreased. But she realized it was tolerable at least, so long as it never got too loud. There was one point, where she feared Annette's excitement might be too much, but thanks to Mercedes that passed. She would be able to function so long as she avoided loud places. That would be easy enough to do in Garreg Mach, but battle would be a different story…
All throughout the last period of class her mind was consumed with the thought of how she would handle battle. She had finally accepted that it wasn't a hangover, but she wasn't ready to give into the thought that she needed the Sword of the Creator. If she needed the sword that would be easy to test but she rejected that idea, every time her mind wondered to that idea.
There had to be other ways to handle her crest. Professor Hanneman was an obvious source, but she felt like if she asked him than she would be admitting that the archbishop was right. She needed to do her own research and the best place to do that was the library, but she wasn't comfortable enough to go there alone.
"By!" Dimitri nearly shouted, snapping her out of her thoughts as she winced. "I apologize for the volume, but you were not responding." She looked up and discovered that he was standing before her, while the rest of her students waited further back despite class having ended awhile ago.
"Are you alright?" Her attention returned to him. "Are you still in pain? Should I fetch Professor Manuela?"
"No…," she quietly said. He frowned but she said nothing else. It wasn't that she was against talking about her crest, but for reasons she couldn't explain she couldn't bring herself to say anything.
She looked at everyone and they all looked at her with concern. They wanted her to open up to them and she didn't want them thinking that she didn't value their friendship but… She never realized just how difficult it was to talk about her fears and worries. She now understood why they were so hesitant to talk about theirs.
"My crest…," she started but just as quickly stopped. Her gaze dropped to her feet and she let out a sigh. She felt so weak, and she wanted to laugh at how pathetic she had become. She had been granted such incredible power, power she knew people would kill for, and yet she was unable to speak because of it.
Slowly, Dimitri reached for hand and held it. She watched as he ran his thumb over her knuckles. Just watching the gesture was relaxing, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had forgotten that she was supposed to be weary of him.
"Are you okay?" No. No, she wasn't but she wasn't going to voice it.
She opened her mouth to say something but shut it when no sound escaped. Silently, she gave his hand a squeeze. She knew it was nothing more than a distraction, but she focused on how disappointing it was that his hands were gloved. Still refusing to try and work through her thoughts, she wondered, instead, if he would remove his gauntlets if she asked.
He returned her squeeze; and instead, of bringing comfort, she was sure he was hoping for, it only brought dread. She now felt rooted in place, like she couldn't escape, not that she had any really thought in doing so. He took a step forward and she instinctively took a step back. Ashamed, she refused to look at him.
No one said anything and she could not tell if that was a blessing or a curse. She knew she was long since past the point where she could sort of get away with claiming that she was fine, but she still couldn't bring herself to say anything. Why couldn't she say anything? No, she knew why. She was afraid if she said something it would open the flood gates and she would end up telling them everything. She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready for that.
Sothis floated into her view and Byleth was finally forced to look someone in the eye. She frowned but didn't look away. "It is alright to tell them," Sothis said, and the professor sighed. Byleth was starting to agree but that didn't make it any easier.
"My crest…," Byleth started again, and Dimitri gave her hand a squeeze. She paused to take a deep breath and to drag out not speaking just a little longer. "My crest makes me sensitive to sounds and smells. I will be fine." Once she finally said it, she wanted to laugh at how easy that was but she also knew that it was only easy because she still didn't say what was truly troubling her.
She finally looked up at everyone and wasn't surprised to see their displeased expressions. She knew a smile wouldn't be enough to satisfy them, nor could she even muster up one. With a sigh she tried to pull her hand free, but Dimitri wouldn't let go. He pulled the hand towards him and rested both his and hers on his chest. She wanted to glare at him but when she looked into his eyes the little hostility, she felt, vanished.
"Is that really all?"
"Yes…" Her voice was a breathless whisper and she looked away.
With narrowing eyes, he leaned towards her, but she didn't look at him. Her gaze remained else where even when he squeezed her hand a little too tightly. "Did the archbishop do something to you?" His voice was loud enough only for her to hear, and she could tell despite it sounding like a normal volume to her.
With wide eyes she snapped her head to look at him. That terrifying darkness shined in his eyes and she absolutely hated it. Her mind screamed at out as she stared into those eyes.
She didn't want this! She kept her silence because she didn't want them to suspect the church. They would be helpless against such an enemy. And that darkness…Such beautiful eyes shouldn't reflect such a wretched thing.
With her free hand she cupped his cheek, but he didn't lean into her touch, like she had hoped. "She did nothing!" His eyes narrowed some more. "Honest! She just offered me a quiet place to eat my breakfast!"
He closed his eyes but still didn't lean into her touch. Instead, he gave her other hand a squeeze and leaned forward until his forehead was resting against hers. When he finally opened his eyes, she could see that the darkness had receded but that brought her little comfort. "I will protect you," he whispered, but she didn't say anything back.
They stayed liked that for a few seconds, simply staring into each other's eyes and doing nothing else. As if satisfied Dimitri was the first to pull away. He still commanded nearly all of her attention, but she was able to see that the others had left.
Her gaze dropped to the floor. Why was he suspecting the archbishop? She had acted like she was happy to see that woman that morning. Was it because of her constant silence that forced him to look for answers? She started to chew on her bottom lip. She wished she had said something earlier, even if was a half lie. She also wished she had never confided in him her distrust for the archbishop.
"By," he called, and she looked up at him. He gently smoothed her bottom lip with his thumb. "You should not chew on your lip like that." She blinked at him a few times until she registered what he said. There was a light taste of iron in her mouth, but she didn't think much of it.
A small warmth spread across her cheeks when his action registered and the fact that his thumb still rested on the corner of her lips. The warmth of her cheeks grew when she looked into his eyes and the look in them had sent a shiver running down her spine. Hastily she looked away. "My crest will take care of it," she mumbled for more of a distraction than nothing else.
Even though she had turned her head away from him, his touch still lingered on her chin and that was all she could really focus on. She was helpless when he used that grip to gently guide her gaze back to him. His eyes were so clear, and she found herself getting lost in them.
"I do not want to see you hurt," he whispered.
She was already very familiar with his voice and yet that whisper sparked something within her. Her breath got caught in her throat when his eyes narrowed, and she knew that she was the only one he was looking at, the only one that was occupying his mind at that moment. She wanted more of his touch, and for it to be free of all offending garments, hers included. She wanted him even closer, to feel his hot breath against her skin and more. A soft whimper escaped her as she felt her stomach churn with a mysterious desire. She gripped the sides of her pants, in order, to prevent herself from reaching out and grabbing him. Her little self-control was futile as she unconsciously leaned towards him, as if she were magically being drawn to him.
"By!" Her name, said by someone else, rang out in the almost empty classroom. Both her and Dimitri jumped and unknowingly separated themselves in the process.
At the classroom's entrance was Claude, with an annoyed Sylvain and Felix behind him. With a fake smile and ignoring all the warnings from the rest of the Blue Lions outside, Claude made his way over to Byleth. Before she had a chance to overcome her shock and call out to him, Dimitri stood in her way.
"Claude," Dimitri greeted with a tight voice once the said man stood before him. "Please leave." His tone left no room for agreement, but the Alliance heir did not back down.
"A hello to you too," Claude said matching Dimitri's tone. "I want to make sure By is okay." Claude glared at the prince when he didn't move out of the way. "You are not the only one who is worried about her."
She couldn't see the look on Dimitri's face but from over Dimitri's shoulder she could see Claude's smile morph into a smirk. With fists balled tightly Dimitri stepped to the side, and she could now properly look at Claude. When he laid eyes on her his smirked morphed into a genuine smile.
"How are you feeling?" His earlier hostility seemed to be a thing of the past.
"Better." It wasn't a lie, but the frown Dimitri was sporting had her suspecting that he didn't believe her. Or was the frown for something else? She didn't dwell on that thought for too long as something else grabbed her attention.
Seeing Claude had reminded her of the issue she had to deal with and that he was the perfect one to help her with it. "Meadow!" Byleth accidently shouted and both men flinched slightly. "Can you please come with me to the library?" He blinked for a few seconds, before nodding while he laughed.
"If you want an escort, I will gladly do it!" Dimitri said as he grabbed one of her hands. He had such a desperate look in his eyes that made it hard for her to look him in the eye. Eventually she looked away and he squeezed her hand.
"Meadow will be fine." She kept her gaze adverted, but when she tried to pull her hand free, he refused to let go. Pressing her lips together she continued to look away but didn't put up much of a fight to free her hand.
Claude stepped forward, forcing Dimitri to back up some. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her towards him. The scent of spices filled her nose and she wanted more of it. She inhaled deeply and unconsciously took a step closer to Claude, who returned the gesture with a light squeeze. If Dimitri hadn't been gripping her hand so tightly, she wasn't sure what she would have done to Claude.
"Do not worry your little head, your Kingliness," Claude said and gently pulled on her hand that the prince held. "I will be sure to do an excellent job at escorting By."
Dimitri refused to let go of her and her close proximity to Claude was going to drive her mad before her volume sensitivity could. Careful to not touch Claude anymore than she already was, she pulled away and though he frowned he didn't stop her. As for Dimitri, she pulled her hand back with more force than needed. She never looked at him while she did that because she was sure she knew what expression he had on and she didn't want to see it.
"Meadow will be enough. I need his help to find something," she said as she started to walk away. "He knows the library better than the back of his hand."
She couldn't look at any of the Blue Lions as she passed them by. If her silence was really what sparked Dimitri's suspicions of the church than she really needed to tell them her fears about the librarian. She also needed to tell Dimitri about her unease about Cornelia and his uncle, but the longer she thought about it the more hesitant she became. It was just an unknown feeling with no evidence to back it up. And Dimitri knew them better than she ever would. Who was she to question his trust? On top of that when she remembered how Lord Rodrigue reacted when she first told him of her suspicions…she didn't want to get such a reaction from Dimitri.
"By!" Claude sang a little too loudly and she winced. Noticing her reaction, the smile fell from his face. "Are you okay?" His softer tone was very much appreciated.
She gave him a small smile as a way to reassure him, but he clearly wasn't buying it. With a sigh, she faced forward and continued on her way. "My crest has enhanced my senses to a painful degree." Momentarily she came to a halt and frowned. It was so difficult for her to just say that to her friends and yet she said it so easily to Claude. Why? She stared at the man, as if just looking at him would answer all her questions. Was it because it was Claude? She had already opened up to him before. Or was it because she hard already admitted the fact to the others? Sighing she just let the thought go and continued walking.
"What do you mean?" she glanced at him from the corner of her eye and there was that inquisitive glint in his eyes. It was a look that she had come to expect from him, since he always had it when something caught his attention. And yet when that look was directed at her, or more accurately her crest, she hated it. She felt like he wasn't really looking at her, wasn't seeing her a human, but she kept her mouth shut in fear of offending him.
She kept her gaze forward and she answered him, "I know you are speaking in a normal volume, but it sounds like you are shouting." He said nothing clearly lost in thought, and so she said nothing else.
The rest of their walk was in silence and that was fine by her since everyone around them were loud and annoying enough to ruin the walk as people were constantly seeking her attention. She had remained strong but once they neared the library her conviction began to wane. She wanted to latch onto him but refrained herself from doing so. If he noticed her discomfort, he did nothing about it, which made her appreciate Dimitri's kindness and attentiveness. At the thought of Dimitri, she felt a pang in her chest, and she hoped that she hadn't upset him too much.
"So, what are we researching?" Claude asked as he came to a stop at the start of the hallway that led to the library. Without realizing it she released a held breath.
She took a deep breath before she answered, "I want to know all about my crest and its former bearer, Nemesis." The little stopped helped her greatly as she no longer felt like someone was gripping her heart and she could breathe much more easily. She took another deep breath before marching forward. Claude didn't act any different as he hummed a little tune as they walked, and a small smile formed on her lips. While Dimitri's way was great, she did also appreciate not being coddled.
"Would Hanneman not be the one to ask?" Claude asked out of the blue.
The smile fell from her face when she sighed. "He still needs more time." It would be so easy if he had all the answers, but she wasn't sure if she should tell him about her new development or not. "He told me that there are no surviving records about my crest." She came to a stop and glared at the floor when she remembered what the archbishop claimed.
"I am all for helping you with research," Claude's tone was pensive and so her gaze glided over to him. "But I cannot help but think that our little endeavor might be pointless, at least when it comes to using the church's library's resources."
Her gaze dropped to the ground. She had expected that, but she had little options. She didn't want to simply go with what the archbishop said, but she didn't know what else she could do.
"Well, we do have more information than what Teach did when he first started his research." She looked at Claude and he flashed her a smile. "Since we know that your crest enhances your senses maybe we can use that as a clue." He gave her a wink before walking inside.
The cheer he gave her was short lived because as soon as she entered the librarian, Tomas, was upon her. A cold sweat ran down her back when he blocked her path. Her nails dug into her palms when she balled her fists tightly. She focused greatly on that pain instead of her desire to run away.
"It's been a while since you last visited," the librarian said. He was smiling but it wasn't reaching his eyes. His fake smile was much different than Claude's. The older man's smile was barely able to contain his disgust, or at least that was what she saw and was hoping that she wasn't deluding herself into seeing that. "I have been waiting for you."
She didn't say anything. She didn't trust her voice. He was looking at with a look she was sure people would describe as warm, but she felt like he was looking through her. His gaze held her captive and the longer she looked into his eyes the surer she became of the disgust he must have felt for her.
Right when she was starting to feel sick to her stomach Claude stepped in between them "Yo Tom!" the Golden Deer leader greeted, and the librarian's gaze forcefully shifted to the boy. "Where are the myth and religious texts at?"
"Oh? You never took much interest in those before. Why the sudden interest?" The librarian's gaze returned to Byleth and she struggled to remain looking indifferent.
"I thought I would expand my horizons today. I brought Professor By along so that she could help me carry some books."
The librarian chuckled slightly, though it didn't sound genuine to her. The older man pointed to the section, Claude was searching for, and Claude made his way over to it, with barely a call for her to follow. It took her a second to realize that he had given her an opportunity to escape, and so she rushed after him.
As they walked over to the section she stared down at her empty hands. If it had been Dimitri, he would have grabbed her hand and guided her over. A frown formed on her lips and she closed her hands before dropping them to her side. She truly did appreciate Claude not treating her like a delicate flower, but she couldn't help but think about Dimitri and his method. When did his touch become so important to her?
Once they were far away enough from the librarian, Claude glanced at her and whispered, "he does not seem like he would of be of any kind of threat to you". She pressed her lips together and looked away. With no real proof she was sure Claude must see as her as a fool. "I guess he could be hiding it. I will be sure to keep an eye on him. I will not let him do anything to you!" He flashed her a smile and she returned it with a small one.
It didn't take Claude long to determine what books would be good to start with, once they arrived. He didn't seem to care about the number of books he was pulling or the weight of them as he continued to stack them in her arms. It wasn't until she asked him to stop that he seemed to realize her struggle and simply laughed at her; he did take some of the books when she shot him a glare. As carefully as she could she rushed over to a nearby table so that she could set the books down.
Once her hands were free, she stepped back and sighed. She forgot how crazy he could become when it came to research. Looking over the large stack of books, she couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed and out of her element. Claude had no problem as he quickly made himself comfortable and grabbed two books off the stack.
He wasted no time flipping through the books at a speed that had her wondering if he was actually absorbing any of the information. Grumbling quietly, she finally grabbed the book, on top of her stack, and opened it. Slowly and hesitantly, she flipped through the pages but because she didn't really even know where to start, she was starting to feel sick to her stomach as a nervousness took root inside her. It also didn't help that she could feel the librarian's constant gaze on her. Because she had asked for help, she kept all her complaints to herself, despite already hating everything. At least the library was quiet.
She flipped through a few pages in an attempt to hurry up and get to something about Nemesis and in the process got a papercut. Just as she registered the sting of the cut, her body became suddenly hot, and she became exhausted, almost as if someone had just stolen a massive amount of her energy. With a groan she rested her head on the table. Her papercut was healed but at way too much of a cost. She feared how her body would react if she got a severe injury.
"What is wrong?" Claude asked, and she was too tired to lift her head to look at him.
"I got a papercut."
He let out a small laugh. "Is that all? Are you sure you are not trying to saddle me with doing all the research?"
"My crest just wasted a massive amount of energy to heal such a tiny, insignificant wound."
She had expected a curious remark from him, but he was completely silent. With a bit of effort, she lifted her head to look at him. He was starring down at a book with a glossed over gaze. As if sensing her stare, he looked at her but quickly dropped it.
"By…?" She hummed as a prompt for him to continue but he didn't respond right away. "Do…do you want to have kids?"
The unexpected question helped her to find the energy to sit up and properly look at him. He didn't tear his gaze away from the book; and instead, maneuvered the hand, he had been resting upon, to cover his mouth. She frowned when she thought about his question.
"No…Never mind," he mumbled into his hand. "Forget I asked that."
"I don't know," she answered anyway, and he tensed up. "I never really thought about it." She wanted to ask him why he asked that, but she couldn't bring herself too.
He said nothing else and went back to flipping through some pages She waited for him a bit, just incase he asked something else but when he didn't, she went back to her book. The uncomfortable silence that had descended on them was made worse with the librarian's never-ending stare. If her answer had upset Claude than she wished she never said anything.
Despite the suffocating air between them, Byleth was somewhat able to focus on the books, she grabbed. Each new book she looked through offered less and less new information than the last. With a sigh she pushed the books aside.
She stared at the finger that received the papercut and there was no trace of any wound every being there. Another sigh escaped her as she absentmindedly read over the titles of the remaining books. None of them seemed like they were going to provide much information.
Leaning back in her chair, she stared up at the roof All she had learned from the books was that the goddess chose Nemesis to fight some evil gods and that he became corrupted with power soon after. Was she supposed to fight off those gods? And if so, where were they? It seemed like Nemesis was chosen after the gods had descended, so was her foe already in Fodlan? Why hasn't she heard anything about that? Sure, she could be out of the loop when it came to news but even, she would have surely heard of some great force attacking Fodlan.
Sighing yet again, she rested her head on the table. The fact that Nemesis succumbed to his desire for power was troubling her as well. She didn't want power, but she could see herself being driven mad by her crest and maybe that could lead her down a path of destruction. She was constantly being told that her crest was a blessing but the more she learned about it, the surer she became that it was actually a curse.
"What is wrong?" Claude asked and she glanced at him. "It looks like you are thinking something stupid."
She frowned at him before turning her head away. "I'm thinking that my crest is more of a curse than a blessing."
"Wow, you really were thinking something idiotic." She was quick to give him a glare, and he just rolled his eyes. "You are sounding like Marianne right now. It is nothing but absolute nonsense."
"What do you mean?"
"You have incredible power. You should be pleased! Just imagine what you can do with it!"
"I don't want it! It is nothing more than a burden!" She wasn't aware of it, but her volume was slowly rising.
"How can you be so foolish? The things I would do if I had your power!" He was starting to match her volume, but she didn't really notice. "It is wasted on you!"
"I never asked for it!" She slammed her hands down on the table as she got up. She gave him one final glare as she spun on her feet. "Sorry for disappointing you for not wanting to use the power that was forced upon me and placed a target on my back!" With that said she stormed off.
She heard him call after her, but she didn't care. Swiftly she made her way to the bottom floor and didn't stop for anyone that dared to call out to her. Once she was on the ground floor, she looked at the exit that led to the dorms before swiftly turning in the opposite direction. If she went to her dorm Claude would surely bother her and so she wanted to find a place to hide.
"You do not have to apologize to the Alliance brat," Sothis said as she floated by. The fact that Byleth had yet to apologize to anyone should have bothered her but at that moment she couldn't have cared less.
She stopped in front of the Knights' Hall as it was the only location in Garreg Mach she was sure Claude wouldn't disturb her in, but she was hesitant to enter. Alois had dragged her father way to spend time with his family so she could easily hide away in the empty room, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to be alone, even if Sothis was with her. Catherine was an option, if she was in her room, but Byleth still wasn't sure if she should trust the knight or not, even if she believed that Catherine's loyalty was justified. Shamir more than likely wouldn't allow Byleth in so that just left her with one option left, Wil. He didn't start his shift until that evening so there was a high probability that he was rest in his room, but he was a naturally loud person, and she didn't need another thing to add to her headache at that moment. With a heavy sigh she gave up on hiding in the Knights' Hall.
The smell of the stables finally caught up to her and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. Grumbling under her breath she was about to turn away when she remembered something Claude said. Frozen in place, she stared at the stables as she recalled Claude mentioning that Marianne was feeling something similar to her.
Without thinking her feet began to lead her towards the stable. Marianne was at the last stable, brushing a horse lovingly, and Byleth, unknowingly let go of her tension when she saw the girl. The professor leaned against the door, watching the blissfully unaware student talk to the horse as if the animal understood everything she said.
Claude had said that Marianne was feeling something similar to what Byleth was feeling, but the former mercenary wasn't sure how to feel about that. Did she seek out Marianne to comfort her? Or did Byleth want to talk to someone that could possibly relate to her suffering? She pressed her lips together as neither thought really matched how she felt.
"P-professor?!" Marianne yelped, and it broke Byleth out of her thoughts. Wordless, Byleth stared at the student, who was looking down fiddling with her hands. "H-how long have you been standing there?"
Momentarily Byleth's gaze drifted upwards as she tried to recall for how long she had been there, but she quickly realized it was pointless to try and figure that out. Still remaining quiet, her gaze returned to Marianne. She never thought to say something as she stared at the poor girl.
Did Marianne have a crest? Byleth couldn't remember being told such a thing. If Marianne did possess one it wasn't visible on the little exposed skin the professor could see and that annoyed her a little. If Marianne did not possess a crest than what made her believe that she was curse?
"Um, Professor!" Once again Marianne's voice broke Byleth out of her thoughts. "D-did you need something?"
Finally, Byleth moved by standing upright. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it when she realized she didn't know what to say. Pressing her lips together she walked past the student to sit on a haystack, in the back of the stable.
"I…is everything alright?"
Byleth went back to silently observing the quiet woman, who fiddled with her hands and kept her gaze downward. Taking a deep breath, she finally to just come out and ask, "Marianne, do you believe that you are cursed?" Instantly, Marianne tensed up and was making an even greater effort to avoid looking at Byleth. The former mercenary got the message and said no more on the subject.
Marianne tired to say something but Byleth spoke over her and realized too late to stop. "What do you think of my crest?" The student looked at Byleth but didn't say anything. "Do you think it is a blessing?"
"O-Of course! The goddess chose you!"
Byleth pressed her lips together and said nothing. She stared at the student for a moment before sighing. "I see it as a curse."
"Why?!" A little smile formed on Byleth's lips when she heard the shock in Marianne's voice.
The smile quickly fell from her face when the older woman returned her gaze back to Marianne, but it wasn't for long because it fell away again. "Nemesis became corrupt with power. What would stop me from doing the same?"
"That is not possible!" With wide eyes Byleth went back to looking at the student. She had never heard such emotion from the quiet woman. "You are so kind. There is no way you will succumb to such a desire!"
Byleth released a puff of air in a small laugh. She took an interest in the horse for a moment. "I have people I hate you know?" From the corner of her eye, she saw Marianne jump a little, and she released another small laugh. "Who's to say that I won't someday use my power against them? To crush those people that dared to look down upon me. Force them to beg for my forgiveness?" A silene settled over them for a moment but it didn't last for long as Byleth broke it with a sigh. "I am far from a saint."
The silence returned and Byleth continued to let it fester. She wasn't too bothered by it, but she wondered if the horse was troubled as it seemed to be making a lot of unnecessary movements. From the corner of her eye, she could see that Marianne was struggling and Byleth came to regret saying anything. It wasn't fair to Marianne that she just dumped a lot of her emotional baggage on the poor student without warning.
"I…," Marianne started, and it pulled Byleth's gaze towards her. "I do not think you would ever do such a thing."
Why? Byleth wanted to ask but remained silent.
"You are a really good person, Professor. So, there is no way that you would do such a thing."
It felt like a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She didn't realize how much that fear was weighing her down. Feeling free she sat up right and had a genuine smile on her face, the first one in a long while.
"Thank you, Marianne. That meant a lot." Marianne gave Byleth a small nod, but still avoided the professor's gaze.
"Marianne," Byleth started, and waited until the said girl was somewhat looking at her. "I do not know what your situation is, but I would like to help if you would allow me too."
"T-thank you." Marianne dropped her gaze. "But you cannot. No one can."
"I was given a power I do not want. I'm still positive that the goddess made a mistake. But if I could use this power to save someone than maybe, just maybe, I would come to appreciate it." Marianne's gaze returned to Byleth, and the older woman offered her a smile. "So, Marianne would you please give me the opportunity to try and help you?"
It was quiet. Marianne had once again dropped her gaze to the floor, but Byleth could tell it wasn't because she was trying to avoid Byleth's stare. After a moment, Marianne lifted her and looked Byleth in the eye. "May…may I have some time to think about it?" The professor didn't say anything and just simply nodded.
After giving a bow, the student left while the professor remained. Byleth stared up at the roof in silence. She was not sure where that request came from, but she did not regret making it. She truly hoped that she could help Marianne in some way.
A/N:
Sorry if there are more mistakes than usual in this chapter. I was struggling with it and between a paper and a final, I kind of just gave up on making sure everything was okay because I just wanted to hurry up and upload it and be done with so that I can focus on other stuff.
Head Cannon Note:
Not all major crests will put a strain on its bearer but some of the more unique crest can.
Crest of Blaiddyd: Puts too much strain on its bearer.
Both the Crest of Dominic and Crest of Lamine can make the bearer unaware of their magic supply during heated moments and that can lead to the bearer running out of magic and putting themselves in great danger.
Crest of Indech can also put too much of a strain on its bearer but only through continued use of the crest in battle.
Crest of Flames: Heightens its bearer's senses but not too such a dangerous degree, but Byleth's situation is really unique.