Cullen Family Meeting
May 5th
3:45AM – 9:17AM
Meeting Details:
Objective: Intervention in Edward's behaviour
Location: Dining room
Type of meeting: Emergency
Facilitator: Alice Cullen
Called by: Carlisle Cullen
Note Taker: Esme Cullen
Time Keeper: Jasper Hale
Minutes agreed by: Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale
Attendees: Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale
Agenda Items:
1. Ask Edward to explain the items discovered by Alice in his bedroom closet - Proposed by Carlisle
2. Share concerns for Edward's wellbeing - Proposed by Carlisle
3. Create an action plan for how to rectify the situation and a damage limitation strategy - Proposed by Carlisle
4. Create an action plan for Edward to reform his deviant behaviour - Proposed by Alice
5. Give Edward an opportunity to apologise for his actions - Proposed by Rosalie
6. Ask how Edward plans to make this up to us - Proposed by Rosalie
7. Submit receipts for gas money to Edward for reimbursement (with interest) - Proposed by Rosalie
8. Share the family's emotions with Edward to try and foster empathy - Proposed by Jasper
9. Share suggestions for channelling carnal desires in a more healthy manner - Proposed by Emmett
10. Share strategy for return to school - Proposed by Carlisle
11. Tell Edward we love him - Proposed by Esme
Minutes:
Agenda Item 1: Ask Edward to explain the items discovered in his bedroom closet
Discussion:
Carlisle asked Alice to recount how she had been updating Edward's wardrobe when she found a disturbing monument hidden behind the hanging clothing.
Edward was asked to account for the origin of the items and how they came into his possession. Edward refused to answer beyond hissing.
A brief pause was called for by Esme. Towels were arranged to protect the dining table from venomous hissing overspray.
The meeting resumed and Edward was asked once again by Carlisle to account for the items in question.
There was more hissing in response and renewed efforts to run away.
Carlisle shared that Edward has been caught raiding the Swan family trash previously and an incriminating image was shown to Carlisle by Chief Swan. Rosalie and Emmett both strongly requested to see the image in question, so Carlisle produced a copy. He went on to remind Rosalie and Emmett that this was a serious matter and we must not let the Volutri become involved.
Conclusions:
Edward has chosen not to share with us how or why he acquired the items in his closet. We can only assume they were stolen from Isabella Swan's household garbage (the pungent smell indicates so).
The items have been destroyed in a bonfire
All have agreed to keep this within the immediate family and not speak to anyone, including Isabella Swan, about the situation
Agenda Item 2: Share concerns for Edward's wellbeing
Discussion:
Esme stated how worried she had been, especially when Edward ran away and had to be brought home against his will recently.
She especially expressed concern that Edward is often stopped mid way to Volterra and that these incidents are increasing in frequency.
Carlisle commented that going to Volterra isn't going to solve anything.
Edward hissed especially loudly in response.
Carlisle suggested Edward look to the bible for direction.
Edward's eyes rolled so far back they disappeared completely for a time.
Jasper calmed Edward, though he struggled against this act.
Jasper commented that Edward was dangerously distressed and suggested we limit advice giving for the time being.
Alice said she thought it was sad that Edward would choose to go through garbage like a raccoon instead of asking Isabella out to a school dance where she could wear a pretty dress and they could enjoy dancing together.
Rosalie shared concerns that Edward 'would soon kill again', after some clarification she explained that he is behaving like a psychopathic serial killer and she wonders 'how many times he's done this before and where he has buried the bodies'.
Emmett expressed confusion as to why Edward didn't go out with Lauren, who has 'bigger jugs'.
Conclusions:
Edward should stop trying to get to Volterra
Edward should look to the bible (if he wants to)
Going through garbage is unpleasant and invades Isabella and Chief Swan's privacy, it must stop immediately.
He might try dating Lauren (?)
Agenda Item 3: Create action plan to rectify the situation & damage limitation strategy
Discussion:
Concerns that the Volturi would intervene if this situation was not properly contained were raised by Jasper, Alice and Rosalie.
Rosalie commented that they would 'kill Bella to be on the safe side', Edward howled loudly in response to this assertion.
Esme requested a break to allow Edward to calm down and to refresh the towels protecting the French polish on the dining table, which were not sodden.
Carlisle laid out a plan involving bible study, family camping trips and sports to help Edward 'stay busy'.
Emmett suggested cage fighting and requested we install a cage in the back garden. He could not elaborate further about why this would help Edward, but his suggestion was noted.
Esme requested that he find an alternate location than her flowerbeds if he was going to pursue this idea
Conclusions:
Edward will NOT speak with or approach Isabella Swan outside of teacher assigned schoolwork (for example lab partner tasks in biology)
The family will engage in twice-weekly family nights and camping trips
Edward will be kept company by family as much as possible, while he adjusts and will stop being so secretive
Edward will submit to searches of his belongings, including his cars and school locker, if it is suspected that he has returned to scavenging and hoarding. Esme volunteered to oversee this and action it if necessary.
Emmett will NOT install a cage fighting arena in the family garden, he will explore a location not visible from the house if he chooses to pursue this idea [Emmett Cullen should initial here to confirm he specifically commits to this action: _ ]
Agenda Item 4: Create an action plan for Edward to reform his deviant behaviour
Discussion:
Carlisle reiterated that prayer is the best remedy in his opinion
Carlisle opened the floor for suggestions to help Edward make the necessary moral changes to reform
Jasper proposed that Edward engage in activities to increase his empathy.
Alice suggested that he try to humanise the other students at school, as Edward tends to see everyone besides Isabella as unworthy of his time, including his siblings.
Esme commented that she was sure that wasn't true.
Rosalie suggested Edward read first hand accounts from stalking victims and be made to face the lifelong damage this kind of behaviour causes.
Alice concurred and added that reading about feminism might help Edward to understand the harmful nature of objectifying those Edward is romantically drawn to.
Emmett suggested that Edward subscribe to something called 'pornhub premium'.
Jasper added that he's sure there are some specialist 'ankle accounts on Only Fans'.
Esme asked for clarification on Emmett and Jasper's suggestions, but Carlisle suggested we keep things moving.
Conclusions:
Alice will make an action plan to help Edward track his progress, with suggestions of tasks and milestones he should work toward
Agenda Item 5: Give Edward an opportunity to apologise for his actions
Discussion:
Edward was asked if he had anything to say, or if he was ready to apologise for the trouble he had caused and the danger he had put his family and Isabella in.
Edward only hissed more, so it was decided to move forward with the agenda.
Conclusions:
Edward should apologise at a future date, after he has had a chance to reflect
Agenda Item 6: Ask how Edward plans to make this up to us
Discussion:
Rosalie shared her thoughts about how terrible Edward's actions have been and how he should be punished severely.
Suggestions included that 'for starters' we burn Edward's piano and permanently ban him from driving, giving his Volvo to Jasper and the Vanquish to Rosalie herself. Reasons as to why she should get the Vanquish were not forthcoming.
Rosalie requested an explanation from Carlisle about why Edward shouldn't 'just go to Volterra'. Carlisle responded that we love Edward and expressed surprise that Rosalie was raising this question again, stating that the answer hadn't changed since the last dozen times she asked him.
She commented that she didn't see why we stopped him going to Volterra as it 'would tidy things up nicely'.
It was requested that we move on as the discussion had become circular and was going over well-trodden ground.
Conclusions:
Edward shall be allowed to keep his cars and piano unless he offends again.
Agenda Item 7: Submit receipts for gas money for reimbursement (with interest)
Discussion:
Rosalie produced receipts for gas, hotels, flights, cosmetics, annual subscriptions to Motor Trend and Car and Driver magazines, a Gucci luggage set, some sunglasses and several Chanel bikinis, saying these were costs she incurred in the last five days of tracking Edward.
Esme asked how Rosalie had needed to buy flights to travel to Brazil next month during the past five days in order to find Edward. Rosalie said she 'still expects him to pay'.
Conclusions:
Rosalie will follow standard family expense procedures for gas money and will pay for her own holiday to Brazil next month.
Agenda Item 8: Share the family's emotions with Edward to try and foster empathy
Discussion:
Jasper requested a few quiet minutes to focus on conveying the emotions of the family to Edward.
Edward fiercely resisted and redoubled his hissing.
Conclusions:
Edward has been sent the family's feelings and how he chooses to respond is not up to him.
Agenda Item 9: Share suggestions for channelling carnal desires in a healthier manner
Discussion:
Emmett shared several suggestions for sites Edward should look at on the internet to help him out with his manly urges.
He stressed the point there is 'so much' online and that 'there must be hundreds of videos Edward can watch'.
It was requested that we move forward once Emmett pulled out his laptop and started trying to show Edward the sites in the middle of the meeting.
Conclusions:
Edward knows he can ask Emmett for help finding appropriately rousing imagery online should he feel sexually frustrated and not know how to locate such material.
Emmett has shown himself to be most proficient in this respect.
Agenda Item 10: Share strategy for return to school
Discussion:
Carlisle outlined the plan to use the recent outbreak of mononucleosis at Forks High as a feasible cover story to account for Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward's absence.
Edward was specifically requested to capitulate to this and to avoid causing further trouble by revealing he had not been ill.
Edward was requested specifically to hunt and feed adequately before he returns to school on Monday.
Conclusions:
Those attending Forks High will restart school and stick to the cover story
Edward will hunt this weekend and start back at school on Monday
Edward will be attended by his siblings wherever possible and is expressly forbidden from the following:
*Sniffing Isabella Swan
*Staring at Isabella Swan
*Following Isabella Swan
*Taking any items, from trash or otherwise, that currently belong or previously belonged to Isabella Swan, including her hair
*Truanting from class
*Requesting timetable/seat assignment changes to be in close proximity with Isabella Swan
*Hoarding items in his locker
*Drawing, photographing or recording Isabella Swan
*Asking others for information regarding Isabella Swan
Agenda Item 11: Tell Edward we love him
Discussion:
Esme told Edward she loves him very, very much and nothing can ever change that.
Edward was offered a hug by Esme, but she concluded he was still too agitated when he hissed a lot.
Jasper conveyed Esme's motherly love for Edward to him.
After some further struggling the meeting was drawn to a close with an invitation to join Carlisle in prayer of thanks for Edward's safe return to the fold.
Conclusions:
Nothing Edward could ever do will stop Esme loving him very, very much.
Carlisle agrees
A/N: Please leave a review! Will Emmett get his cage fighting arena? Or will he get distracted by pornhub?
Thanks to the creative, kind and funny wh1teow1 for being the best beta for this story please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!