You know how you always get so much more lazy before going on a break?
Yeah. I hate that. This chapter was fueled by diet coke and anime songs in the middle of the night. Yay!
Reviews:
Severak: I also love Simp Essex. Who doesn't? (Probably Saratoga)
John: Yes, we are all horny. Horny is a way of life. Horny is life, Horny is love.
Disclaimer: Indy best girl
Our Indy who art in Alaska,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
Through the Eagle Union.
Give us this day our daily panty shot
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those pagans who trespass against us.
And lead us not into apathy
And deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the chocolate tanned skin,
Forever and forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
Portland's POV:
I reopened my eyes and got up from the floor. The small shrine in front of me was just a fragment of the one in New Guinea. The Ivory frame had been swapped for plastic and the ornate candles replaced with glow sticks, but this had to make due. Though humiliating, I must never forget to say my grace to the holy one.
"Portland!" My watch beeped. I smiled slightly, recalling the recording I secretly took in the bath house at the Outback Confederacy all those months ago. I tapped the face of the clock before picking up a bag from the corner of the room.
"You sure took your sweet time." Essex clicked her tongue as I exited my temporary dorm.
"I warned you the ritual would be long." I followed my escorter.
"Yeah sure." Essex shook her head. "It would look quite terrible if you came in late for your first day of classes."
"I will not go to classes if it infringes on my religion." I reminded her.
"But you will if you want to see Indy again." Essex gave a quick nod to Victorious as we passed by. "Remember, these remedial lessons are so that you get reintroduced into the fleet. You signed up for this."
"I signed up to see Indy in a sailor uniform." I countered. "Not this."
"Oh this girl." Essex moaned in pain. "Listen Portland, you are an extremely lucky cruiser, you know? If Saratoga didn't beg face down on the floor for your safety, you would have been mothballed, disassembled, and lying in a scrap yard in Bremington right now."
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Saratoga did all of that?
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I made a mental note to introduce Saratoga into the Holy Indy Society.
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"Allright, here you go." Essex led me into a school, gripping my hand. The ships all around us stepped out of our way. "This is your room."
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"There's nobody here." I commented.
"Well yeah." Essex nodded. "You're practically the only one in this program."
The room in front of me was filled with empty chairs and wooden desks, lined up in neat rows. 4, 6… So 24 seats plus the teacher. At least there were windows.
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"So who is my teacher?" I asked Essex.
"You don't have one." Essex pulled the textbooks from a cabinet hidden behind the door and plopped them on the desk. "You need to work on these."
"All of them?" I lifted a book up and flipped it from cover to cover.
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Oh my Indy this is actually filled with stuff.
"You'll be getting a test at the end of the year." Essex walked out of the door, closing it behind her.
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I took a deep breath. Why is there so much stuff here? I groaned. It's like they want me to stay here for eternity.
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Enough Portland! I slapped my hands on my cheeks and sat down at a desk.
The faster I get these done, the faster I can see Indy!
Find the value of the following summation from N = 0 to infinity and graph 5 such points on the cartesian plane.
Lets see. First, replace Infinity with placeholder I.. Inverse the equation switching X to Y. Now we put I here and make N prime. Take the Derivative of the equation. Throw this weird curly bracket thingy to the side, and put I in front. Remove the equal sign, switch the N and the D. There! Now, we're just left with I Nd Y. That spells Indy, and obviously, Indy is 100/100. (1)
I wrote perfect over the graph provided and flipped the page.
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This math is actually quite easy, if you think about it.
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I began humming. I suppose I can get all of these done today!
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"What are you doing here?" A voice groaned behind me.
"I'm here for promedial lessons." I turned around. Behind me was a long grey haired carrier in fishnet stockings and a large cape fluttered behind her.
"I mean here." She pointed at my flawless interpretation. "You can't like, you know. The variables, I mean… Your math is bad."
"How?" I raised my eyebrows. "Through my countless experiments, Indy has always been 100/100."
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The carrier looked at me. Then turned back to the paper. Her eyes widened. She stared back at me again.
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She took another look at the paper. She flipped over the page and winced. She turned the paper back over.
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"Are you serious?"
"Religion is no laughing matter."
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The carrier clicked her tongue for a few seconds. She then tapped my pencil against the paper five times before curling a line through the newly dotted points.
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"Just don't." The carrier shook her head. "How does one manage to correctly insert a derivative yet fail at basic equation procedure?"
"Indy has historically always been a hundred." I pointed out.
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"I need some aspirin." I barely caught the carrier muttering before removing her palm from her forehead. "What's your name?"
"Portland."
"Portland?" The carrier twisted her head over before circling around me. "You're actually Portland?"
"Who are you?" I countered.
"Intrepid." She responded, continuing to investigate me. Abruptly, she pinched my arm. "So you're The Portland."
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"What is that supposed to mean?" I raised my eyebrows.
"You're kinda an urban legend around here." Intrepid muttered, examining my sides. "Is it really true that you left Atlanta to die so that you could run away?"
"No!" I shook my head violently.
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"Didn't you disobey direct orders from high command?" Intrepid questioned, straightening her back and immediately tensing up.
"Well, not really." I don't think San Francisco counts as "high command."
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If anything, she should be counted as short command. (2)
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"Didn't you sexually harass your sister routinely?" Intrepid scribbled down some notes on a clipboard.
"Um…"
"Are you a criminal?" Intrepid raised her voice, pointing the sharp end of the pencil at me. "Have you served jail time?"
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I looked at Intrepid. She seemed to be rather serious. I saw that her landing deck was slowly unfolding from her back. So she's like that fake Indy carrier then. I quickly examined my escape routes.
"Are you here to arrest me?" I secretly started my engine.
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Intrepid glanced over her shoulders before turning back.
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"No." Intrepid sat down next to me, letting her back droop. "I kinda have to say this whenever Bunker Hill is eavesdropping from the hallway."
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"She's such a pain." Intrepid groaned as she plopped her chin on the table.
"So you're in the remedial program too?" I leaned back in my chair.
Intrepid nodded. "My sisters think I make them look bad. They call me stuff like Decrepit." (3)
"If your sisters are getting you down, you could always join the Church of Indy!" I pitched my sales quote.
"Nah, they're right." Intrepid sighed grimly. "I've been told that my fighting style is reminiscent to a dying alligator."
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"So you're only here because you can't fight?" I perked up.
"Yeah."
"Do you want me to teach you?" I offered.
"Can you even fight?" Intrepid waved me off. "You're the failure of Guadalcanal, after all."
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"Allright." I got up from my chair. Time to convert this pagan to the Church of Indy! "Follow me."
"Why are we on the basketball court?" Intrepid glanced around.
I walked over to the circle in the middle of the pavement. "Punch me."
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"What?" Intrepid looked at me funnily.
"Punch me." I nodded.
"Did I hear you right?" Intrepid asked. "I think you said 'punch me'"
"Yes I did." I stretched my arms.
"But... What if you get hurt?" Intrepid questioned.
"I'm tough enough." I cracked my knuckles. "I can handle it."
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"You sure?"
"Yup."
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Intrepid curled her hand into a fist and thrusted it into my general vicinity. Starting with a punch. I observed her form.
It was far to unstable. It seamed like all her weight was on one knee. I could just kick her shin and she'd fall down right now.
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I stepped to the side. I still needed more information. Intrepid stumbled forwards but quickly regained her balance. She panted for a bit before turning back to me.
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"You win if I get hit or leave the circle." I faced Intrepid. I have to get her to attack again. The carrier reared up and ran forwards once again.
She stopped right outside the circle and lifted her knee up. A kick. That's impressive thinking; not many people I know would use a kick. I can't test her form on basic punches this time, but her kick was far too predictable.
Right after she shot her foot out, I stepped for the side once again and grabbed her leg. Intrepid immediately began wobbling on one foot, and almost fell over before I let go of her foot. It seems like her balance was the weak point. She hadn't faced any real competition besides her sisters, it appears.
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"Try again." I watched as Intrepid cautiously stepped back. She was getting weary. Brute force wasn't working for her anymore. Let's see how well her technique is.
A flash of silver hair behind me alerted that there were spectators.
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I guess now's the time to wrap this up. I don't want to get into any more trouble.
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For some reason, Intrepid was still catching her breath. Just how bad was her health? Was this normal for regular carriers?
"Do you want to stop?" I offered.
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Intrepid took a step back once again before taking a deep breath. Her left foot was in front, meaning she was going to strike with her right hand. Intrepid sure was predictable. I understand some of her criticism now... But let's finish this for today.
Intrepid launched forwards once again and threw her fist wildly yet counterable on my left. I blocked the blow my hand and grabbed her wrist. Intrepid took her remaining left hand and swung it at my face. I used my last hand to grab the other fist.
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"So we've locked hands." Intrepid stopped struggling to free her arms. I could see she was trying to hold her breath. "Is this a draw?"
"Not really." My turrets dropped out from my hull, all 9 guns aimed straight at her head.
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"You think I'm qualified to teach you now?" I grinned.
Intrepid dropped the act and gasped for air.
Footnotes
(1): I'm actually not sure if this math is an accurate way to spell Indy. Fortunately, neither is Portland
(2): San Diego got a retrofit because her old hull was too damaged from that burn.
(3): Intrepid was actually called the Decrepit for a while because she was a literal kamikaze magnet.
Allright. I'll strike you a deal.
I'm going to use lots of time skips from now on. I can't really write about much because literally nothing happens for a few months. No battles, no accidents, no nothing.
Through the next chapters, we're going to speed through so we can finally get Indy back!
Nobody's going to complain, right?
Right? (Portland presses a pistol to your head)
Anyways, see you next week!