Year 4 Part 9

It took forever but I finally got to sleep, and it felt like not five minutes later that the sun was streaming through Cad's window right into my eye. I groaned and tried to turn my face away but it seemed like it was everywhere, and I finally cracked my eye open to try and see what time it was. The clock on Cad's nightstand said it was almost eight in the morning, far later than we would normally be woken up, but I didn't want to visit the idea of if his parents knew I was up here so instead I looked up at Cad who was still sleeping.

Sleeping was the most serious I think I had ever seen him, I would even go to say he looked worried. A tiny line between his brows never seemed to go away, and his jaw was set firmly. His hair however contrasted the image by being just the messiest mop of blonde I had ever seen. I wasn't able to suppress my giggle fast enough, I saw his eyes twitch, the arm that wasn't wrapped around me reaching up to rub his face. He opened his eyes, winced at the sunlight, and blinked a few times before looking down at me.

"What?"

"I didn't think it was physically possible for your hair to get any messier than it normally is. I was very, very wrong."

"Sorry we don't all have perfectly straight and smooth hair, your Majesty." he smiled, his eyes flicking over to his door.

"No, I don't think they've been up here yet."

"Well duh, or my Mum would have murdered me and hung me from the balcony as an example to others. More just wondering why not."

"I don't think we should push it."

He looked down at me and ran his hand over my hair, clearing thinking 'we should totally push it' but saying "Yeah." out loud.

I stood up and stretched out my arm as I tiptoed over to his door, peeking down the stairs. I dropped my voice to a whisper just in case they were standing nearby. "Do I make a dash for it?"

"Is there another option?" he chuckled.

I made a face at him before tiptoeing down the stairs, then dashing from the bottom one into Tempy's room, closing the door behind me and leaning against it, letting out the breath I'd held. I opened my eyes and saw Tempy sitting on her bed reading a book, giving me the most teasing grin a face was possible of making.

"Well good morning Amelia. Sleep well?"

"Are your parents up?" I whispered.

"No. They got into the wine last night and are laying in to sleep it off."

"Oh thank Merlin." I sighed, resting my head against her door.

"Have a good night?"

"It isn't what it looks like."

She just raised her eyebrow to say 'I doubt it'.

"Last night Cad wanted to kiss me and I chickened out, but I felt bad when we got back so I went up there last night so we could lay together a little. We just fell asleep. That was it."

She cocked her head for a moment while she decided if I was telling the truth, before grunting 'hm' and turning back to her book.

"Really, no comment?"

"I mean, chickening out sounds like something you'd do."

"Hey!"

She giggled, finally setting her book aside. "It's okay Amelia, it's really none of my business. I just want to be able to tease Cad."

"Oh no, he was perfect last night. I'm just a coward." I spat, throwing myself angirly on the end of her bed.

"Well what were you scared of?"

I sighed. "Everything."

"Wow, that's specific."

I looked over at her. "You're Cad's sister."

"Your skills of observation astound me."

"I mean, should I be talking about this with you?"

She shrugged. "Who else are you going to talk to? Besides, you know I'll never tell Cad."

"Good point." I crossed my legs and faced her. "Cad is just...he's perfect, Tempy. He's nice, and handsome, and charming, and funny, and-"

"Okay I take it back. I am his sister and I can only take so much."

"Sorry. What I mean is Cad is everything that I'm not. I know we...I know how we both feel. But if it doesn't work out? I'd lose my best friend at best, and we would rip our friend group apart at worst. Not to mention Louk would hate me, and I doubt Amber and I will get along any more than we already do."

"I mean I can't really give you any advice. All I can say is I see you two together a lot, and let me tell you I've never seen Cad look like that at anyone. Ever."

"Not a lot of competition." I shrugged.

She rolled her eyes. "Please. Cad's no introvert. He has a different friend by the shop twice a day to pop in a talk to him. He definitely got the 'social fairy' gene of the family."

"Thanks?"

"What I mean is Cad can make his own choices as to who he likes. As far as what could happen in the future, your friends could split apart anyway, you and Cad not related. Things are going to change whether you decide one way or another about my brother. Change is the only constant thing in the world."

"You're too smart for a twelve year old, you know?" I laughed.

"Yes well, I could stand to hear it more." she tossed her hair with a smile. "But I mean I'm being selfish too. I like you. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have Cad with, but that's my opinion. I wouldn't want you making a choice like this based on my feelings, and if your friends are really your friends, they would feel the same way."

I nodded and she seemed to be done, leaning back again and opening her book to the page she'd been on. I went over to my stuff and pulled out my own book, but I just sat there with it open so I looked like I was doing something when really I was overthinking everything again. After about an hour or so I heard Cad's parents moving around, so I got dressed before going to the kitchen to offer my help to his Mum in making an early lunch. Cad's Dad was sitting at the dining room table sorting through what looked like repair order forms with his daughter next to him still reading her Christmas book. I knew Cad walked in without even turning to look, and he sat with the rest of his family at the table while we cooked.

"You have fun last night?" his Dad asked him.

"Actually, yeah! Those Weasleys really know how to make some fireworks. I've never seen anything like it."

"With their flair for dramatics, I'm not surprised." his Dad smiled. "I have a couple appointments this week to fix a few wands, but I was thinking we could take another trip before you have to go back to school."

"Sounds good to me. I'm almost done with my homework."

"Wonder why." Cad's Mum gave me a smile as I dumped pasta into the boiling water on the stove.

After our early lunch we moved into the sitting room as usual, Tempy and I stretching out on the couch across from each other with Cad sitting on the floor between us. His edition of Quidditch Quarterly had come in and he was carefully analyzing every page, so it was a rather quiet afternoon. It actually was a rather quiet entire week as well, with everyone soaking in the last of our free time before we all returned to school. Cad visited the skate park every afternoon he wasn't in the shop. That weekend Cad and his Dad were really only gone a day and a half on their trip, and with his school work done Cad spent more time with his Dad in the workshop downstairs.

We took Tempy to the train station to send her back to boarding school the day before Cad and I were set to be sent back. Cad helped her sort out her luggage and we all gave her about fifty hugs before bidding her goodbye. That night Cad's parents went to bed as usual and it was just us two in the living room for a few hours, but I continued right on reading next to him as we always did. There was perhaps a little more cuddling than would normally have taken place if Tempy had been there, but he was being quite the gentleman about the whole thing and keeping a respectful distance unless I specifically sought him out.

I was a little more sad than usual that we were going back, although the scarlet train still brought a tingle of excitement through me as we ran through the platform barrier. Matt and Molly were already there and helped us get our luggage tied up. His parents made sure to make us promise to write (and make Cad promise to stay on top of his work) before leaving us with the others. Keeli arrived not a few minutes later and almost broke Matt and I's spines with a hug, talking a mile an hour about both her trip and her disappointment at missing the Grey's party.

Everyone else showed up in good time, with Louk relegating himself to the far corner again, and in no time the train was speeding us along back to Hogwarts. Cad convinced Keeli and I to play him and Matt in a game of Whipping Snap (?) in which we got thoroughly thrashed, but there was a lot of good humored laughter between the four of us despite the bruised fingers.

When the train arrived we went our separate ways as normal, Keeli and I sitting in the corner of the common room to talk quietly about our breaks. I told her everything about the party, especially Cad and I's moment, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her about what had happened later that night. It just seemed too special to tell anyone else about just yet, plus I knew she would ask a million questions I didn't have the answer to. Keeli in turn told me all about New York's version of Diagon Alley, that was apparently ten times the size of anything we had including a seven story bookstore with friendly pixie employees that could find you any book your heart desired and bookworms that made just the best suggestions. Her parents had bought her an entire line of American Transfiguration textbooks for Christmas and she was regaling me with a page-by-page description of the three she had already read.

Her and Eunice continued to talk about it through dinner, and even whisper across the room that night as we were all trying to sleep. By Monday morning breakfast I was thoroughly done hearing about wand techniques and pig anatomy as I moved my bowl so Dorothy's owl could deliver a letter from her parents without getting feathers in my cereal again. Once I was sure everyone near me had gotten their mail I finally tucked in, pulling out my Charms essay to review it for the test. I was about to ask Eunice for some advice on casting when I looked up to see her face, frozen in horror.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but she couldn't answer. She shoved The Daily Prophet at me and I read the headline out loud. "'Attack on the Ministry of Magic'?"

"What?" Keeli looked up from her porridge.

I scanned the article quickly, trying to read the important details. "It says a group of people belonging to an unknown organization launched an attack on the Ministry's records room while everyone was gone for the holidays, successfully destroying nearly thirty years of lineage records, before breaking into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement's offices to continue their 'tirade of destruction'."

"Did they catch them?"

I scanned the page some more. "They cornered one, but the injuries he sustained by the Aurors were too severe. He died at St. Mungo's a few hours later. They're asking anyone with family records to bring them forward and try to replace some of those missing."

"Why would someone attack lineage records?" Dorothy shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe they're trying to escape some family past?"

"Like what? Azkaban criminal records aren't kept with those, and who cares who your family is?" Eunice twirled her fork in her fingers. "Unless…."

"What?" Keeli prompted.

"Well, maybe some people want to erase the fact that they're related to some other people." her eyes flicked to the Slytherin table.

"What do you mean?" I tried to keep the edge out of my voice.

"Look, I know if I was related to Death Eaters I wouldn't want any record of it anywhere. I can't think of anyone else who would attack lineage records. Those are just the official records, every family keeps their own. At least their magical lineage. Destroying them really wouldn't do anything."

"Makes sense." Dorothy screwed up her face in thought. "But if they were the descendants of Death Eaters, why attack the Department of Magical Law Enforcement too? Wiping the criminal records of their family members?"

"Won't save them from Azkaban." I shook my head. "It doesn't say they headed for records there, just that they destroyed more stuff. It might have just been collateral from them trying to escape."

The food on our plates disappeared and we swore, grabbing our bags to run out the door and hopefully make it to class on time. The break in was all anyone could talk about all day, and our after-school group was no exception. We all postponed our homework and sat out by the lake, Damian and Molly tossing a Quaffle back and forth as we talked. A copy of the newspaper was being passed around while we all shared what we'd heard throughout the day.

"Well of course you don't think it's Death Eaters families." Amber rolled her eyes at Louk.

"Why do you say it like that?" I looked over at her but Cad held his hand up.

"She just means he seems to be the only one who doesn't."

"Without another suggestion, I might add." she continued. "If you don't think it's that, then what do you think it was?"

"Miscreants just wanting to 'stick it to the man', I don't know. Who am I to justify the acts of a criminal? All I know is just because you're related to a Death Eater doesn't mean you're a criminal." Louk defended.

"You can't say their relatives wouldn't want to forget everything that happened in the war, erase any record of their family member's past crimes?" she countered

"Of course they would, but there is a huge difference in wishing people wouldn't treat you like a criminal for a crime you didn't do, and breaking into the Ministry." Louk shook his head, looking over to Damian for support but Amber kept on.

"And that desperation wouldn't lead to them doing a desperate thing?"

"Of course not, they'd just be living up to what everyone already thought they were!"

"Or maybe they decided since everyone already thought that, what would be a huge difference in just going ahead and doing it?!" both their voices were raised, and their scowls only deepened with every exchange. It was clear to see we'd move on from friendly debate.

"And what? Their name would be the first thing out of their neighbors' mouth when the Aurors came calling! They of all people know how merciless the Ministry can be to anything relating to Death Eaters."

"Well, they did start two Wizarding Wars."

"Not their families!"

"How do we know the families of Death Eaters were uninvolved?!"

"And there it is!" Louk stood up. "Everyone is just so keen to lock up anyone even remotely related to a Death Eater, they don't care whether they're actually bad people at all!"

"I'm just saying it's not impossible some of them played possum and just pretended to be manipulated by Voldemort."

"Yeah but when you start persecuting people on rumors and not facts, it's not justice anymore it's just blatant retribution and hate."

"Just because it can't be proven doesn't mean it isn't true,"

"So what, you think I'm going to start hunting down Muggleborns like they did in the war? Go around throwing Curses at blood traitors?"

"Well I know you won't, but-"

"If the only reason I get a pass from your prejudice is because you personally know me, that doesn't mean it isn't wrong."

He grabbed his bag and stomped off, and I looked up to glare at Amber. She moved to speak but I just shook my head, giving Cad a look as I moved to follow him.

I saw him head into the castle but I lost him in the crowded hallways, pausing by the Slytherin dungeons to catch my breath. I muttered 'silverblood' to the expanse of brick wall and walked into the common room. He was sitting on one of the couches by the window that faced into the lake, elbows on his knees and brow scowled. I sat on the arm of the couch next to him, facing the window too so he couldn't see me studying his face. We just sat there in silence for a while but eventually I ran out his patience.

"I don't really want to talk to you."

"Well you need to talk to someone, and we both know Damian isn't about to come down here."

He paused, letting out a slow sigh. "I appreciate you trying to defend me."

"Hey, I'd call her out whether she was saying that stuff about you or anyone else."

He didn't talk for a long time again, clearly deep in thought. "You know pure bloods are all related if you go far back enough? Cad is just as close to Voldemort as I am, but just because I'm in Slytherin suddenly I'm practically his grandson and not his fourteenth nephew thrice removed on his mother's side or whatever."

"I know."

"And it's one of the things I like most about you, Amelia." he said softly, looking up at me. I saw some of the anger leave his posture for a second. "Even after you knew the truth you never treated me any differently, nor any other Slytherins for that matter. You slept here, for crying out loud, which is something half the school wouldn't even consider."

"Even after I knew what truth?"

"I know you checked out those genealogy books last semester. I know you know Augustus Rookwood was my Uncle ."

I looked down at my shoes, embarrassed I'd been found out. "How did you know?"

"When proof you're related to a mass murderer is in a book, you tend to keep tabs on who checks it out."

"I didn't go looking for that, in case you're wondering. Because I don't care. You are not who you are related to."

It kept his eyes ahead, hands clasped tightly. "But I am related to them. No matter how I feel, it won't change that fact."

"Doesn't matter. You aren't guilty of what they did. You can only be responsible for what you do."

"I know that, but there's nothing I can do about it! I argue against it and they think I'm defending him and Death Eaters in general, but I stay quiet and they think they're right."

"I don't know what to do but just know no matter what happens, I'll always be here."

"You're the only one who ever has." he gave me a small smile, taking my hand. "You're the only person outside of my house that I know has my back."

We sat for another long silence before he looked at the ground, speaking slowly as he gathered his thoughts. "We almost were Death Eaters, you know. I know Damian told you about my family during the war."

"He told me your parents fled during the war, that your Mum had just gotten pregnant and they wanted to keep you safe from Voldemort."

"They fled because they were a young Pureblood couple, and it was expected of them. They knew they'd never be able to refuse Voldemort, so they ran. But if they'd been forced to stay they would have joined, and I would have been born into the Death Eaters. I would have been one of them."

"You know plenty of the Death Eaters who didn't want to do what they did, they were just trying to survive like everyone else."

"Not everyone sees the difference. It doesn't matter if Voldemort kidnapped your wife and kids and held them in a dungeon on threat of torture, if you were a Death Eater you were practically Bellatrix Lestrange already."

"And they're small minded. People were scared and it's easier to just say 'they were all bad' than to accept it was a complicated issue. At least your parents had the courage to leave, right?"

"I guess." he leaned back and took a second to think so I slipped my shoes off, curling up next to him and resting my head on his shoulder.

A few more minutes passed in silence before he spoke up. "My Uncle wasn't one of those people. He enjoyed what he did. He fought willingly for Voldemort until the end."

"I'm sorry."

"I knew the second I was sorted into Slytherin I'd never be able to get away from it."

"Did the hat consider another choice?"

"No, it said Slytherin almost as soon as I put it on."

"Then you know you're meant to be here."

"But does that mean maybe I am bad? I'm into DADA, I'm Pureblood, I'm in Slytherin; there were actual Death Eaters who ticked fewer boxes."

I sat up, glaring as I made him face me. "You are not a bad person."

"I jinxed Cad, I-"

"Just stop. We all make mistakes, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Are you a complete arse who never listens to me and tries to fix my problems for me instead of working through them together? Yes. Are you just trying to help? Absolutely. Death Eaters made a choice, and it's a choice I don't think you could ever make."

"But I know I would." he whispered, like he was scared even to say it to himself. "If they had you, or Damian, or maybe even any of the others; I know I would do whatever they said."

"Because you're a human being with emotions. That's not a weakness, Louk. Almost anyone would, they just don't want to admit it."

"But does that make me as bad as them? If things had been different-"

"The war was awful and people had to make difficult choices, but it's over now. What happened happened, and there is nothing we can do. Your parents fled to avoid joining because they didn't want to, you've spent your entire time here at Hogwarts doing your best to do what you thought was right. If you were truly bad you wouldn't care about anyone or anything. You'd leap at the chance to hurt others and you'd have no remorse for doing it."

"Half the time I only apologize because you make me."

"And do you think a real Death Eater would let themselves get pushed around by a little seven stone girl?" I smirked and luckily I saw a little tilt of his mouth.

"I only do it so you'll help me in Potions."

"I know." I rested against him again, taking a deep breath. "And I'm only friends with you so you'll buy me nice things."

"You're pretty lousy at actually letting me buy you things then."

"Playing the long game."

He chuckled, his chest movement bouncing my head a little. "Sure, little Ravenclaw."

"I'm not little."

"I can rest my chin on your head without even having to look up."

"You do too have to look up."

"Only a little though."

"You're the worst."

"I know." he hugged me closer, returning to our staring out the lake window.

We just sat there for a long time, my head on his shoulder, looking out the window to be lost in our own thoughts. Probably a good hour had passed before he cleared his throat, his voice a completely different tone.

"So. Cad."

"Maybe we should talk about this later."

He waited a full minute before sighing, squeezing my hand. "Okay."

We sat there for a long time staring out the window. I could tell he was still lost in a vortex of shame and confusion about everything, but I knew I had said everything I could. A couple hours later Damian walked up near us, leaning on the glass of the window and crossing his arms.

"I was sent to fetch you two for dinner."

"I'm not that hungry." Louk grunted.

"Amber wants to have a word with you." Damian said a bit more forcefully, making it clear he wasn't taking no for an answer.

He didn't move for a few seconds, finally looking over at Damian who had a look of apology on his face but a firm set on his jaw. He sighed and let me go, standing up as he waited for me to put my shoes back on.

"It better be worth hearing."