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A Well Placed Taunt

Bane would admit to being impressed by Robin's shadowboxing. The man's form had been excellent, his movements smooth and practiced. There had been training behind every action that had surprised him-and not for the reasons Robin would assume. Whoever had acted as Robin's teacher had personalized the training to better suit his omega's smaller frame and weaker physique. In Bane's experience instructors in the arts of combat were alphas who taught their students how to fight their way. Perhaps Robin had had a beta for an instructor-but even then betas generally had more muscle mass and upper body strength than an omega, which Robin had been beneath his drug disguise. From what Bane had seen Robin's height, weight, and reflexes had all been taken into account when it came to his boxing training, at the very least. But while Bane was willing to acknowledge those facts...it was far more tempting to point out that he'd specifically told Robin NOT to shadowbox because it might bring another attack on.

Wisely Bane opted not to even imply that as he sat on the bed, watching Robin be miserable-but it was tempting.

At least this attack had been much milder than the other one. Robin had simply felt off after lunch and had spent a good hour blaming the 'crappy as fuck' food here for giving him an upset stomach. Then he moved on to it being sugar deprivation and where was his milk chocolate, huh? That had last for about twenty minutes before Robin had finally just admitted that he wasn't feeling the best and needed to lay down.

So here they were, Robin curled up in an annoyed ball on the bed, the omega glaring at Bane like this was all his fault. When clearly it wasn't since Bane had warned him not to over exert himself. But then Robin would just make it Bane's fault some other way-the omega was annoyingly good at that-so again...Bane opted to say nothing.

"You don't have to stay, you know."

"And I made it clear that until I can be assured of your safety, I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"I'd point out that you could just send me home...but then you'd just point out that no one's safe in Gotham, so there's no point."

Bane supposed he should be grateful Robin realized that. But it was hard to be grateful when his omega was miserable and in pain in front of him and there was literally nothing he could do.

"What's wrong? I'm agreeing with you." Robin's lips curved a little in a smirk, though there were facial lines that said he was still in physical discomfort.

"I dislike seeing you in pain."

"Fair." A thoughtful pause. "Distract me."

"How?" Bane asked.

"Tell me what's going on. You're sending me to see a doctor, right? And then we're going to see some guy named Singh?"

Oh. Bane mulled that over before decided that he could discuss their future itinerary a little. "Yes. We will leave here in two days. In the evening you will see the specialist and he will run the tests necessary to determine the state of your health and fertility. We will stay in his city for two and a half days; then should things proceed according to schedule we will spend a day and night in Singh's territory. The League is interested in forming an alliance with him."

"And if he says no like a sane person?"

"It would be foolish of him to say no."

Robin's eyebrows rose, his smirk getting noticeably bigger and more genuine. "In a 'everyone should want to be part of my insane as fuck terrorist organization' way, or in a 'I'm making him an offer he can't refuse' sort of way?"

"Robin."

"Right. No swearing. My bad." Robin rolled his eyes, then closed them. Then sighed tiredly. "You probably didn't even get that reference."

Bane was so sick of Robin 'referencing' things he didn't know. Especially when they made Robin smirk at him the way the other man had been doing before he'd disappointed him.

"If someone puts a horse head in your bed, be worried. Also know that if that happens, you're getting a new bed if you EVER want me to sleep with you again."

Utterly bewildered, Bane repeated the words 'horse head' like he'd never heard of such a thing.

"Honestly? I don't know why horse either. 'The Godfather' was before my time and I deal with the mafia enough without watching the movies. But some things about those ones everyone knows, like the offer line. And the grossness of sending someone a head to warn them they're next."

Robin's eyes opened and narrowed. "You've never sent someone a formerly living head in warning, have you?"

Technically...

"The bodies were still attached?"

A groan greeted that statement, Robin mumbling something about small favors.

If Robin were capable of being logical and reasonable Bane would have pointed out that the men in question had deserved to die and had been no loss to the world, but Robin was never reasonable when it came to the League and their enemies. Robin would see anyone who stood against the League as good, even if they were even worse than any member of the League of Shadows. There would be no point in trying to argue otherwise.

That being the case Bane searched around for some other topic they could discuss, nothing coming to mind for several awkward minutes before Robin's tugging and rearranging of the sheets gave him an idea.

"While we are abroad we can purchase items you need. New sheets and blankets for the bed." Bane wasn't budging on the bed itself. He needed a firm mattress for his back and disliked soft mattresses anyway. Still, he knew Robin was the opposite and was willing to buy the omega the softest of blankets to cuddle up in to keep warm and be more comfortable at night. That he was willing to tolerate, so long as he was allowed close contact with his mate under them.

Interest came into Robin's eyes, his attention back on Bane in a positive way.

"New clothes will be also necessary. You'll have to wear culturally appropriate attire when we are in Singh's territory."

Eyes narrowing again-curses-Robin wanted to just where Singh called home.

Bane settled on stating that Singh's territory was located in India, not about to give the former cop any more information than was necessary. This would be the first time since he was taken by the League than Robin would be in a well populated area. The first time Robin would be somewhere where certain death wouldn't await him if he tried to escape due to the climate alone. Bane didn't doubt that if Robin had the chance to escape in the city the omega was more than capable of finding someone who spoke English and could, at the very least, direct him to the American embassy. His omega was resourceful and cunning, and would have to be watched like a hawk the entire trip.

Or they could just keep an eye on Kei, who Robin would never leave behind.

In truth Bane would have preferred to use that, keeping Kei here while they were away to ensure Robin's obedience, but Robin would never leave the foolish boy behind and Bane didn't want to deal with the fallout if he tried. He'd be made to pay dearly.

Barsad would not be pleased either.

"Why are you making that face?"

"You can't see my face."

"Stupid tin can. But I can tell you're making faces behind it. I have the power. So what, you don't like India? You love hot climates. Or don't you? Because if you like more temperate weather than what the hell are we doing in the middle of a friggin desert?"

"Stop calling my mask a tin can."

"Stop wearing it." Robin shot back.

Because of course he did. The last thing his mate would likely do upon this earth was say something argumentative or sarcastic. Robin had no sense of self preservation.

"Behave or I'll pick out the clothes without your input."

That earned him a dismissive noise.

And a sidelong look that did not bode well for him.

"So how exactly is this going to work? I may not have ever been to India, but as an omega I'm very much aware that they're as backward when it comes to my designation as here. If I go over there as your Pet I'm a slave, and will be expected to fulfill that role. Heck, they might try to buy me, because seriously, who wouldn't want a piece of this?" The words were said with a smirk, but in Robin's eyes was, for a moment, fear over that possibility. "And if you introduce me as your boyfriend I'm a dishonored whore because they'll smell you all over me. They also won't respect you for dishonoring me and I could end up dead. Or taken away from you for my 'own good'. And then be even more fucked, at least temporarily."

"No one can take you from me. No one would dare."

"How have you lived this long without realizing how dumb people are?"

Bane opened...then closed his mouth. He couldn't argue that.

"So the only option you'll like is if you introduce me as your mate. Which would mean taking my collar off...and forcing me to accept you as my mate against my will." Robin's eyes noticeably darkened, the demon that lived in him looking out of those dark depths now. "Then I end you in a horrible manner that will make castration look as fun and awesome as Disneyland."

He'd never been to Disneyland, but from what Bane knew of that particular shrine to commercialism and greed going there would be about as enjoyable as castration for him. Unless he was burning it to the ground. But earlier Robin had made it clear that it was a place his omega thought he would enjoy visiting, so the threat was clear.

"I will not force our mating upon you. I already made that clear."

"Then how are you going to explain us?"

"I'm still working on that part." Bane hated to admit it, but that was the truth and he wasn't going to give a lie that he'd have to discard or alter later. And there was the chance, however slight, that Robin really was getting that skilled at reading his face, even with the mask.

"Well good luck with that. You're going to need it."

"I always do with you." Bane stated dryly, without thinking first.

The wide, delighted grin he got back...oh. What it did to him. Bane wanted more of that. A lot more.

)

Barsad kept the majority of his focus on what he was doing, allowing himself only the occasional glance in Kei's direction to make sure that the young alpha wasn't doing something that he shouldn't be. Though in Kei's case that something was usually singing to himself or staring off into space, which currently he could actually be doing and it wouldn't be a problem. So of course the contrary creature was doing neither, so intent on his list making that Barsad was fairly sure a bomb could go off and the boy wouldn't notice. Or if he did notice he'd just be mad at the interruption, not actually worried. Kei's self-preservation instincts were even less developed than the cop's. And that was saying something.

Also...how many songs were going to be on that list? He might actually have to get the boy more paper, and Kei was already using both sides of what he already had.

Turning his attention back to his laptop Barsad frowned at it, thoughts switching again to the question of just what the hell were they were going to do about the cop.

"Why are you making that face?"

Surprised, Barsad looked over in Kei's direction, the alpha actually giving him his full attention for once.

"We're going to India and the man we're going to see is very traditional. Ergo taking Blake with us poses numerous problems."

"John does tend to do that. The song 'How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria' could have totally been written about him."

Another song he didn't know, but Barsad could guess what it was about based on the title. He nodded.

"I'd say you guys could just leave us here, or in whatever country the doctor is in with guards...but we'd probably be dead by the time you got back. Would Bane leave you behind to babysit us? I like you a lot more than him, and you're probably almost as hard to kill as he is."

"He won't let the cop out of his sight."

"He does need constant supervision. John, I mean. Though Bane probably needs supervision too. And a vacation. Oh, and to not be a terrorist. Why did you become a terrorist?"

There was no point in debating whether or not he was a terrorist, so Barsad settled for stating that the world needed to change, and that wouldn't happen without force.

"The world does need to change." Kei nodded in agreement. "Especially the music industry and its obsession with rap and autotune. But killing everyone won't fix things. And you've barely lived, so really you should focus on that instead of killing people. It's not your job to-actually it is your job, isn't it? You're a terrorist."

Barsad allowed himself a moment to look at the ceiling as if it would provide him with answers, but of course it didn't so he just sighed and went back to the problem he was starting to think he would never be able to solve.

"I've lived more than you. You do realize how much older I am than you, yes?"

"I know. You don't dye your hair."

Brows furrowing, it took a minute before Barsad realized that Kei was referring to the fact that the silver working its way through his hair more and more every year was noticeable enough that the alpha had noticed despite so often living in his own little world.

"You can't judge someone's age based solely on their hair color."

"I know. There's also the wrinkles and lines on your face."

Barsad didn't know what expression he was making-but he was very grateful for the lack of cameras in the room.

"What? You're old. That's what happens. I'll get them too eventually. Or I will, if I live that long. Which I probably won't, so I guess I won't get them." A careless shrug, then Kei turned his attention back to his collection of paper for a moment. "How old are you, anyway? I should have asked before, when you cut yourself off from the real world. That will help me with what decade to start your music education in."

"You think I don't live in the real world? That I-you lived in Gotham and then in League strongholds with no access to the world. What do YOU know of the real world, Boy?"

Now he was really getting pissed off, Barsad aiming a deadly look in Kei's direction. Which of course did not faze the idiot in the slightest.

"Are you mad at me?"

Seriously?

"It makes no sense that you have lived this long. Even if you hadn't ended up in the League you should have died long before we took you in."

"You didn't take me in. You kidnapped me. There's a difference. Sorta." A peevish look. "Well, I guess it was sorta like being fostered. I never had a say in who became my 'family' then, either. Huh. Are you the worst foster family I've ever had?"

This apparently required some thought on Kei's part.

"I mean you're not in it for the money, which is always a bonus, and you guys normally don't hit unless you're trying to train me...but the others ones always let me sing and listen to music some of the time. It kept me occupied. Yeah...worst foster family ever." Kei cocked his head to the side. "Does that make you my foster brother?"

"No."

"Okay. Are you still mad?"

"Yes."

Kei considered this, and then like nothing was wrong or needed to be resolved the little bastard went back to working on his list. Barsad waited for five minutes of the alpha to realize that they'd been about to have an argument, then gave up because obviously that light was never going to dawn.

"What are you doing?"

"Working on my list." Kei stated without looking up.

"We were arguing."

Kei seemed to consider this, then shook his head in the negative.

"Yes, we were."

"I stopped talking before we started really arguing. I don't like doing that. Plus you probably won't let me kiss you later if we argue. That's usually how that works."

"I'm annoyed with you regardless, so no, no kissing."

"Oh. Okay."

Okay? Okay? He was fine with them being at odds and Barsad putting an end to-to-to whatever it was they had started between them? Kei was just shrugging it off like it was nothing while he had been obsessing and twisting himself up over it since they'd started?

"You look even madder now."

There was only one thing Barsad could think to say to that.

"I might just kill you myself."

Again, no reaction. "Yeah. I get that from my exes a lot. Though you might actually do it. You have the training. They just wished me dead."

"It's certainly a possibility."

That made Kei sigh and mumble something.

"What did you just say?" If it was something insulting, Barsad really was going to break the boy's nose and to hell with the consequences.

"I said John said this would happen. He said not even you would be up to the challenge of dating me."