You never will end up alone
Yan Da slowly opened her eyes, dazzled by the warm sunlight on her face. She nearly had forgotten how it felt… thousands of years in the darkness, memories of an old soul, collided with her senses. She felt a strong arm supporting her body, and someone gently squeezed her hand. When she looked up, Ying Kong Shi's eyes shone over her like sapphires. From his look she could read that he understood. A beautiful smile spread on his face, as he whispered: "Welcome home, my most beautiful and my best friend." Only she did understand the full meaning of his words, when he squeezed her hand again. Then he helped her to get into a more sitting position. Again, he looked at her, she couldn't fully read his smile. I'm sorry, I can't greet you the way I would like to. But we are not alone. Later, we will have the time to talk, I promise. Yan Da looked at him in surprise, but nodded imperceptibly.
Yue Shen also kneeled down at her side, and took her hand. "You finally woke up, Queen Yan Da. We were afraid you'd sleep all day, and you would miss the best." Confused, Yan Da looked around. They were on the beach of the Endless Sea, where her aptitude test had started. She could smell the fresh air that the wind carried to the shore from the snow-capped mountains, the home of the Ice Tribe. And here, in the fine sand, were her friends. Xing Gui from the Dream Tribe, Piang Feng from the Eagle Tribe, Huang Tuo the healer with his fiancée Yue Shen, her general Gao Yuqing, even Lu Zhao and several others from the Kingdom Guardians, the Mermaid Saint Yu Lian, and her training partner and boss of the Bear Clan, Delung Rong.
I can't believe it. I remember them all now, from the time stream, and before. They haven't changed at all. Will they feel that I am now complete? Some meters apart from the crowd, she could see Xian Xue, his face was an unreadable mask, and his eyes were fixed on her in an almost uncomfortable way. She stared back at him, and memories flooded her mind like a river breaking a dam… memories of him and her, in the time stream. Sixty happy years, and one last talk with the Snow Bird Spirit she would never forget, before she had decided to enter the cube.
"Don't you feel at ease now? You don't have to be scared anymore. If you ask me, I think you are ready to live again. I can't even remember the last time you cried. Once you'll back, Ying Kong Shi won't let you down. You will finally be together, Yan Da."
"How can you be so sure of that?"
"I know it for sure. His brother gave him his freedom and showed him the way. No matter how much he will miss Ka Suo, in his new life Ying Kong Shi finally can live in peace with you… and he won't waste the chance."
"Even though he may now feel not as bound to his brother as before, how can you be so sure that he will love me, or not any other woman? He always was so distanced. I won't be able to bare it a third lifetime. I may have healed, because of you. But thinking of him, it makes me feel weak and unsecure."
"Yan Da, did I ever lie to you? You have to believe, he always had you in his heart. Your love, it never was one-sided. But he was bound by his love and his promises to his brother and the whole situation with your tribes being constantly at war. You two simply never had neither the time nor the peace to develop your friendship."
"Xian Xue, over the years in this stream, you became the friend I always wanted to have, and I do trust you, but still… how can you know him so well? Did he ever talk to you?"
"He didn't have to. Yan Da, have you ever truly understood who I am? I am not just his ancestor. I have his soul... and Yan Zhu had yours in the past. We loved each other, and before us, there were also two immortals that loved each other. For all the love and confusion between the two of you, there always have been reasons. But it is an unchangeable truth, that you are the girl of fire that was always loved by that boy of ice. Just look at us… the more time I spend with you, the more I feel the effect of our souls being in one place. It brings back the memories of those happy days when Yan Zhu and I were close, even though we were innocent children that didn't know about love. We, Xian Xue and Yan Da, have met by accident. But my soul recognizes yours. For sixty years I have shared every single moment with you, and I honestly can't distinguish anymore between the love I feel for Yan Zhu… and the love I feel for you, Yan Da."
"Xian Xue, I wished you two would be one. I love Ying Kong Shi. But you…you nourished my soul, and kept me alive. You gave me a reason to exist. With you I feel alive, happy and safe, although I don't have a body. It's like you became my home. Those sixty years, they have gone by in a blink of an eye. I wonder… do I betray him, or do I just love him more because of you? I look at your face, and you smile back. He never did smile back like this. I also cannot separate my feelings I have for you from the feelings I have for Ying Kong Shi. I am so afraid, that once I face him, I will miss you. Tell me, honestly, am I doomed to deceive one of you?"
"Don't cry, Yan Da. Once we decide to leave the time stream, there will be a younger Yan Da waiting for you, and you will merge with her. You will expand her memories by thousands of years, and together you will love and heal both his and your heart. In a way, even Yan Zhu will become a part of the reincarnation cycle again. You have all the memories of her in you. She did terrible things to you, but you know who she was before the Hidden Lotus tainted her soul. It makes me glad that, thanks to you, some of our happy memories live on. Whenever you miss me, just remember the two children that once lay in a nest in Snow Fog Forrest, warming each other on the cold winter nights. There is no way you can lose or deceive me when you will be with Ying Kong Shi. I will forever be part of your story."
"You always know what I need to hear to feel better. But Xian Xue, have you considered the young Yan Da's feelings? Don't you think I should spare my younger self all the hurt? I feel guilty, putting all these bad memories on her innocent shoulders. I feel like all I can give her is sadness and pain."
"Stop it! Don't ever say that again! In every aspect, you are the strongest woman I have ever met. You never needed anything from Ying Kong Shi. You were able to continue to love him unconditionally, although he left you in the dark about his feelings. You supported him on his way for thousands of years, even when he refused you. Without you, he would never have made it this far. Listen, if you don't want to go back to your life, you will leave him alone with no one to share his memories. He will love this younger version of you. But he will forever miss what he only can share with you, and his guilt… it will keep them from fully become one, you know that."
"Alright, Xian Xue. You win! Let's see who that Ying Kong Shi is that you send back to the Ice World. We will see if he will truly save and love Yan Da, as you think. But if he lets her die in Snow Fog Forrest, than I won't chase after him. I won't become the ghost that hunts. If I can't be with him than let us end all of this together. I know that you are tired, too. You have sacrificed so much, and the Blood Red Lotus won't let you live long after your arrival to the Ice World. When you will fade, let me fade with you. It will be our last happy memory, and we both can go without any regrets."
"Yan Da. You really are the one person for me that makes everything look and feel more, even dying. Then let us settle it this way. No matter what Ying Kong Shi will do, you will not end up alone. I promise, my dearest and best friend."