Round 1: Little Mac vs Rosalina and Luma
Mac's graphic of him shadow boxing played first. The pre-recorded footage of Little Mac that appeared next earned some snickers in the Smashers' Box of Smash Stadium. He sat in a beige three-piece suit, the WVBA title belt slung over his shoulder, a look that struck most of the Smashers as odd, as he was seldom seen wearing anything but a tanktop and workout shorts.
"My name is Mackenzie Lincoln-Lewis, but you can call me Little Mac," said the boxer, flashing an awkward smile at Nikki, who was just behind the camera.
"So what have you been up to lately," asked the voice of Nikki, "When you were last here, the WVBA had reorganized, and as a result, anyone could challenge for your title, and then you had your Smash tryout against Donkey Kong."
"Right," Mac nodded, "Then…the Duel tournament happened, then I was told if I lost three fights I'd be forced into retirement."
"Yeah," sighed a now mournful sounding Nikki, "I heard the bad news. Bald Bull handed you your last loss, right?"
"What, are they banging or somethin'?" Ryuji asked as the Smashers watched live, causing Makoto to elbow him in the ribs.
Little Mac nodded, a grin on his face, "Yeah, but Alice, my wife, meeting the present-day board members of the Telro-Boxer organization, somethin' she founded like 50 years in the future, meaning that she was installed as CEO and we were got all of her stock options. So we became billionaires basically overnight, and then I went back home and bought majority ownership of the WVBA got to keep this ole World Circuit Belt as a memorial belt, and things have been peachy."
"So, with that in mind, the people wanna know, why are you, a retired boxer turned billionaire back?"
"Well, Smash is kinda my last piece of business. I curb-stomped by that blue bastard."
"Megaman?"
"Cuz of his stupid stage gimmicks," Mac seethed. Now I have an opportunity to make it right. I've been training almost constantly, figuring out new ways to compensate for just bein' a regular dude from the Bronx in this pileup of gods and superheroes an' crap."
"What do you think of Rosalina?"
Mac smirked, "I like her a lot actually, the way she treats her Lumas is more or less how my wife treats her robots, very mother-like ya know? But I gotta get past the first round, I gotta."
"Hey Mac, you done in there? We gotta change into yer costume," shouted the muffled voice of Doc Lewis from beyond the conference room's door.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute Doc," Mac called back.
Next was Rosalina and Luma's graphic, followed by her sitting in the interview chair with a Luma eagerly hovering above her.
"Hello everyone, my name is Rosalina, and this is Luma," she said, waving to the camera.
As Luma used one of his stubby arms to mirror Rosalina's wave, Nikki piped in, "So, you and Little Mac both lost in your first matches the last tournament, but you won the pre-match against Team Fire Emblem with your comrades from Team Mario to get byes into the first round. With no such advantage this time, how will you approach Little Mac?"
"Much like last year's tournament, taking care of my Lumas is my top priority. While I can say I was completely overwhelmed in my first tournament, that's not true this time. However, I understand Little Mac has been training most diligently. All I can say is best of luck to him, and we will see what happens when we get on stage."
All eyes were on Cranky and 9-Volt now, "Wow, what a nice woman," sighed 9-Volt dreamily.
As Quinn battled back the intrusive thought of giving the strange yellow hatted kid a swirly as he watched, Cranky crowed, "Get yer hormones in check boy! She ain't been trainin'!"
"Regardless," hissed 9-Volt, "It isn't our job to come up with predictions. Let's take it up to Futaba Sakura with the predictions. Oracle?"
Futaba appeared on-screen next, a grin on her face, "Ah nostalgia. Mario Galaxy was the first game I ever played, so I gotta go with Rosalina based on that alone. Her array of god powers is just icing on the cake."
"Thanks, Futaba," Cranky said as the camera was back on the commentary booth now. Let's take it live to the entrances.
Shulk silently pointed to Rosalina and Luma, then jerked this thumb back to Tunnel A. He pointed at Little Mac and Doc Lewis, pointing them in the direction of Tunnel B. Rosalina and Luma simply teleported away. Little Mac stood up, disrobing his hoodie, revealing a blue tanktop with American flag patterned shorts. Doc Lewis passed him a hanger, which had a matching American Flag patterned vest on it, before unveiling an American Flag tophat from a special carrying case. Lewis affixed the vest and jacket to Mac's body as the two went down the corridor. When both competitors were at the entrance to the tunnel, Rosalina made her entrance to a soft, orchestral piece.
"What you're hearing now is one of Rosalina's favorite classical music pieces, a piece whose original name is lost to time. It has since been renamed 'Rosalina in the Observatory'" Cranky explained.
"Meh," 9-Volt shrugged, "Never been much a fan of classical music,"
"You Generation Z kids and your tasteless ears!" scolded Cranky Kong.
"You called me a millennial literal minutes ago," deadpanned 9-Volt, his expression vacant.
"Boy, I'm from the greatest generation, and if I say you're a freakin' xenomorph, that's what you are!"
"Oh my God…" moaned 9-Volt.
"Now you're being blasphemous! Last time I checked it's the Seven Stars that make the dream work where I come from! You know it all Diamond City…"
Cranky's rant was cut off by Mac's entrance. As the funk music hit, Little Mac moonwalked out, moonwalking in place, only whipping around when the music hit.
Living in America
Eye to eye, station to station
Living in America
Hand to hand, across the nation
Living in America
Got to have a celebration
Rock my soul
Mac had done a slow, shuffling strut to the beat, doing the splits as the verse changed. The entire stadium erupted at this.
Smokestack, fatback
Many miles of railroad track
All night radio, keep on runnin' through
Gon' rock 'n' roll your soul
Little Mac had been strutting, throwing in the sprinkler, however, as he got to stage, he did a handstand, which caused a shriek of applause. Even Rosalina applauded him, with Luma trying his best to clap with starry nub arms.
"And that entrance was based off James Brown's song from the motion picture Rocky IV," explained 9-Volt.
"Well, if Little Mac is gonna go out as quick as Creed did to Drago, he might as well steal his other gimmicks, right?" joked Cranky.
"WILL YOU STOP!" wailed 9-Volt.
The music stopped, and Mills Frames spoke up, "The following contest is the next match in Round 1 of The Ultimate tournament! The winner of this match will face either Miss Trainer or Megaman in the next round. Introducing in the corner to my left, from the Mario Universe, they are The Cosmic Travelers, the duo of Rosalina and Luma!"
Rosalina waved while the yellow Luma accompanying her took a theatrical bow atop her head. The crowd cheered Rosalina, but the sight of a cute Luma being cute electrified the crowd even more
"And introducing in the corner to my right, from the Punch-Out Universe, the Bruiser from the Bronx Little Mac!"
Little Mac simply raised his fist to the roar of approval from most of the crowd, although as the cheers subsided, a few pockets of laughter could be heard, likely from hecklers who only managed to get their material across to the section upon which they sat.
"If Little Mac wins the coin toss, the stage will be The Boxing Ring," Mills explained, "If Rosalina and Luma win the coin toss, the stage will be the Comet Observatory. Call it!"
"Tails!" shouted Rosalina.
Mills flipped the coin, calling the result as the coin came to a rest.
"Heads! The stage will be The Boxing Ring! Rules are two stocks, items all, low. Smashers, are you ready?"
Little Mac held out a gloved fist, which Rosalina and Luma simultaneously bumped. The two were teleported away.
Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low
Stage: Boxing Ring
Music "Punchout Medley" by Gametal
Little Mac appeared first, disrobing of his outer clothes, leaving only his tanktop, gloves, shorts, and boots. He breathed in. The cheap cigar smells. The inexplicable smell of piss. The taunts of ravenous working-class New Yorkers. This was a WVBA arena alright. He was jarred from his bliss by Rosalina and Luma swooping in in a pink, starry flourish.
3
2
1
GO!
Little Mac ran forward, clocking Rosalina with a downward clubbing blow as soon as she was in range. Not prepared for such ferocity, the Cosmic Princess slumped forward, the ropes being her only support, her eyes already glassy as she fell. Mac delivered a horizontal sweeping blow to her legs which took her feet out from under her, sending her over the top rope and down onto the stage below. Immediately, he felt something cover his eyes, thrashing to get it off, and feeling something fleshy under his fist. The thing squirmed away as soon as he applied an iota more pressure. As Little Mac regained his faculties, he found himself turned around, staring down the Luma, whose eyes were half squinted in anger, doing the world's goofiest 'put 'em up' stance.
"Alright little guy, you asked for it," Mac growled.
The star skirted around his early attempts at soft jabs. As Mac became angrier he started to use more powerful clubbing blows similar to the one that originally stunned Rosalina, the only difference was that his offense against the Luma saw him punching the ground outright, Luma was peppering him with jagged strikes from his pointy star nubs as it dodged. As Mac resumed his fighting stance to anticipate what the odd space creature would do next, it launched into the air, delivering a hard straight punch. Mac's head cocked to the side. Luckily, this wasn't hard enough to blur his vision, so he was able to see Rosalina on the outside of the ring waving her wand as a conductor might wave their baton.
Mac shook his head, I shoulda known, he thought.
Mac dropped his guard to his side, throwing a straight punch. The Luma latched onto his face, just as he predicted. Mac turned around and uppercut the Luma off him. As the now-bewildered alien spun cartoonishly in the air. Mac hit as weak a Straight Lunge as he could muster which sent the nearly weightless baby star flying. Mac ran after it, closing the distance Best case scenario, quickly reasoned the boxer, the Luma would clock Rosalina like a fastball from a New York Yankee.
But, as Doc had always said, best-laid plans often go awry.
The Luma disappeared in a puff of smoke. Mac could feel a gush of wind blasting for him. Getting his arm up and bracing for a Slip Counter, Rosalina came into contact to clock him with her wand, but Mac was able to absorb the impact and smack Rosalina with yet another hard blow to the body. Mac readied his fist for another punch, but a green Luma appeared, latching onto his fist, killing all momentum he had had from the punch. Rosalina jumped to the other side of the ring, the Luma obediently following. Mac again closed the distance only to be met with a burst of rainbow star-shaped fireworks from one of the Luma's top corners. Now temporarily blinded, Mac lashed out, throwing a fist at the Luma as hard as he could. The blow probably would have sent both princess and child flying if Rosalina hadn't parried the blow just as Luma was set to make contact. Mac went for his patented sweeping leg punch again, but Rosalina teleported behind him, which only caused Mac to swing in a full 360 degrees with his sweeping punch, capping Rosalina at the ankles.
"Ooooh, and a game of chess is brought to an end by some unorthodox pugilism from Little Mac!" Cranky bellowed as Little Mac hit a Side Haymaker to Luma to finally separate the Cosmic Travelers.
"Well, getting your knees broken brings an end to most games of chess I've played!" quipped 9-Volt.
"Son I have pairs of underwear older than you, keep yer smart mouth to yerself,"
"Jesus Christ old man it's match five."
"And you're being blasphemous again. The nerve o' you city folk!"
"Out on Nintendo DS at this very moment!"
Cranky chuckled, "Okay, that was funny,"
Mac grimaced as Rosalina called Luma back over to her. The duo jumped into the air, propelling downward some magical ringlet each time they did, the cosmic energy searing Mac's skin. The childlike giggles of the Luma made his muscles shake, his face redden with anger.
"STOP MOCKING ME!" he roared.
He hooked the air as hard as he could, sending them both astray. The Luma flopped through the air, landing with a gnarly clang on the lighting fixture above them, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Rosalina however, was able to control her flight path, spiraling down to the entrance ramp. Little Mac attempted to clear the ropes with a jump but undershot it. Something about these towing cables combined with Smash physics meant that they propelled whoever jumped on them with such height that it would make the most dazzling pro wrestler green with envy. Mac flew into the air, flailing at first, but controlling his body. Rosalina watched him come down with a bemused look on her face. Mac groaned. This was a slow and straight to pitch to her, and he was the unlucky baseball. She leaped into the air, unleashing another cosmic ring, but Mac had blocked out the pain by then and was able to control his fall back to the ring. Mac raised his guard, above his head, and Rosalina, once confident in her flying stride, was now jumping. On the third jump, Mac primed another high hook, this time feeling his fist well up with fire. The hook connected with Rosalina's flesh on the jaw, her entire visage lined with fire for a split second, and then cartoonish soot.
"I think she fears the punch" cackled Porky to the Smashers as he was trying to reach the popcorn that had been dumped into the tube of his spider mech.
"Nah, she's got a plan," Quinn barked without looking away from the TV.
"What, you got a crush on the freak?" snapped Porky.
Lucario growled, but Altair spoke up, "Rosalina is an unorthodox tactician. I have no doubt she has a plan,"
As Quinn mulled over the idea of if he actually did have a crush on her, he could've sworn he saw Altair wink at him out of the corner of his cowl.
Meanwhile, back at the boxing ring, another Luma had appeared as she fell towards the entrance ramp. She leaped back into the air only to get hit with yet another firey hook by Mac. Rosalina floated atop the lighting fixture. Mac jumped into the air, using his Rising Uppercut technique to get to the top of the fixture himself. He would've missed the jump had Rosalina not backhand slapped the Brooklynite in midair making sure he could find refuge atop the structure. Just as Mac assumed his stance atop the rickety rafters, Rosalina jumped through a gap. As Mac followed, Rosalina executed her second jump in midair, using her Launch Star ability to give her an easy ride to the lighting truss Mac jumped into the air, hoping to try the double jump into Rising Uppercut move to meet Rosalina and Luma at the pass again, but a thought occurred to Mac, and he planted his feet firmly in the middle of the ring.
"You tryna to tire me out? You ain't the first to try that an' lose," Mac growled.
Rosalina rubbed her chin in thought, "I suppose I'm not. Perhaps a more direct approach is in order."
Mac raised an eyebrow as the princess in the sky-blue dress floated down to his level Am I talkin' to my lawyer or am I in a fight? Mac wondered to himself, bemused.
As Rosalina floated down, an assist trophy appeared on the leftmost apron of the ring.
"DAMN IT!" cursed Mac, knowing full well Rosalina would beat him to it.
Rosalina cast a wide-eyed glance behind her, floating leisurely to the Assist Trophy. Picking up the mystery being's prison by the base, she held it aloft. From nowhere, an entire stage appeared, with two Inklings, one green, and one pink, atop it.
"Surprise!" they cheered in warbled, Inkling accented English.
"Oh my! I didn't realize we were gonna get a Squid Sisters concert here and now Cranky!" cheered 9-Volt.
"Yep, because the camera has to be on them, the blast zone will close in on them. Pure celebrity-based egotism in my opinion," Cranky growled arrogantly.
As the adrenaline-pumping guitars of Gametal were shut-out by the number 1 song in the Inkopolis pop charts, the blast zone, the encroaching black void, that signified out of bounds, crept inward. However, to the audience in the stadium and at home, all that was happening was that the camera was panning closer. Rosalina had been hanging back near the blast zone, hoping the Assist Trophy would do something to slop more damage onto Little Mac while she watched leisurely. As soon as she and the new Luma noticed what was happening, they flew horizontally as fast as they could away from the blast zone. Little Mac, however, had encountered the likeness of the Squid Sisters in training. He knew what was coming. Using the precious seconds that that knowledge had bought him, he prepped a Straight Lunge. Rosalina jumped into the ring. So focused on her escape was the space-faring princess that she didn't see what was right in front of her face until it was too late. Mac lunched forward, his fist searing red with energy. Like a feather in a tsunami's gusts, Rosalina rocketed towards the blast zone, netting Mac the first KO
Little Mac: 2
Rosalina and Luma: 1
Just as Mac began to cockily shuffle his feet to the upbeat tones of the Squid Sisters, Rosalina, now accompanied by a red Luma, leaped off the revival platform. A sweep that used both of her legs and a punch from the Luma was enough to send Mac's unprepared form into the Blast Zone.
Little Mac: 1
Rosalina and Luma: 1
"And just like that, we're tied!" announced 9-Volt.
"I think what we've got here is two defensive fighters, and the loser'll be the Smasher that drops his guard next," Cranky thought aloud.
The Squid Sisters had finished their salvo, the music duties were once again given to Gametal's shredding guitars, and Little Mac jumped off the platform, chuckling, "Alright lady, ya got me,"
Rosalina giggled, "I'm glad you're in good humor about it. That move took a significant bit of training to pull off."
"I'll bet, but I'm just sayin' everybody gets one,"
Rosalina raised an eyebrow, "I'll keep that in mind. Now, shall we?"
Just as Mac raised his fists, a box appeared between them. All three competitors grabbed at it, with Little Mac winning that particular test of strength. Rosalina and Luma leaped away, both wanting to avoid being thrown with the box. Unfortunately, the only purpose that served was to have the box thrown at them. A Sticky Bomb, a seed from a Healing Plant, and a Smoke Bomb fell out of the shards of the box. Rosalina immediately scooped up the Smoke Bomb and tossed it at mac. The wet, sticky chalk-like substance latched onto him as a grey smoke enveloped his entire being. Regardless, Mac bolted forward, scooping up the Sticky Bomb and throwing it onto Rosalina's back, who had turned to do a cocky ballet spin for the crowd.
"How?" balked Rosalina as soon as the chewing gum-esque substance made contact with her dress.
"If you wanna learn how to see through smoke, hit up a hookah bar in Brooklyn with me some time," chided Mac.
But Rosalina wasn't paying attention. She had grabbed the Healing Seed, the Sticky Bomb had exploded, and the seed was sucking up the damage second by second. Rosalina pivoted her course abruptly, using a Launch Star to vault over the ring entirely to opposite ends of the entrance ramp. Mac went into position for a Slip Counter, expecting some sort of assault through the haze, but nothing came. Mac grinned ear to ear.
If I can't see her, that means she can't see me either, thought the boxing champion.
Mac caught her flush on the jaw with a straight punch. Rosalina was a mere shove from the blast zone. Mac went for another punch, but the punch earlier had given away his position, allowing Rosalina to dodge it. It was at this moment the Smoke Bomb spewed the last of its smoke, and Mac was in the intergalactic princess' sights, clear as day. Rosalina pivoted her upper body mid horizontal flight like a dolphin to send Mac flying a few inches off the ground. As Mac jumped backward to get out of range of the dangerous duo, he happened to glance over at the audience, most of whom were pointing excitedly at the lighting truss. Little Mac landed in the center ring, glancing up through the holes in the fixture, just barely making out a Smash Ball. Rosalina had seen it too, pivoting upward to land on the trust. Mac mouthed a string of curses, jumping not once, but twice, and going through the motions of a Rising Uppercut in some vain hope to either hit the Smash Ball or clear the weaving square of a structure that Rosalina and Luma stood so delicately atop. He made contact with the Smash Ball, but Rosalina had somehow slipped away at the last second, winking at him as the two crossed paths in the air. Rosalina smacked Mac upside the jaw with two palms, as if she was hiking a volleyball into the air. They gave him the air time he needed, and he found himself standing high above the center ring, blinding lights impeding the squared circle below. Little Mac caught of glimpse of Rosalina jumping about rather lazily, laughing and giggling with her Luma companion. Two thoughts tore at Mac's mind. Stay and work over the Smash Ball, or serve up a knuckle sandwich as a post-game treat to this game of Ring Around the Rosey he saw before him. Mac's inner voice, which over the years had just become the voice of Doc Lewis, screamed at him to keep on the Smash Ball.
I caught her off focus last stock, who's to say I can't do it again? Mac thought, putting the final stamp on his current action.
Mac dove off of the lights, running towards Rosalina, who simply jumped for the unattended Smash Ball, cracking it open with a lazy kick.
"STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID!" Mac cursed.
The lights above them shut off, and the monolithic metal scaffold came flying down towards him. Mac jumped, hitting a Rising Uppercut, thankful for sliding through one of the holes in the gride as he felt the metal brush past him. He felt his fist tap Rosalina's foot as she fell to the ground just above him. The underdog could fail anger welling within him. He was gonna lose, and all he had to blame was his stupid-ass self. Both were in the ring now. Mac roared, flailing his fists as soon as these cosmic goofs were in range, hoping that something, anything would connect and give him s fighting chance. Instead, Rosalina saw an opening in Mac's rage-drunken guard, grabbing him by the tanktop.
"You fought me more competently than I ever would've expected. Fare thee well, Little Mac," she whispered, her voice deadly serious.
The Luma unleashed a volley of punches that would make Captain Falcon's famous jab look slower than traffic after a Giants game. Mac felt himself flying towards the center of the ring. Rosalina was on top of him and used her strange dolphin-esque body check to knock him a smidgeon further into the air.
"GRAND STAR! she called.
A second lady, Mac felt the supersonic bursts of energy sear his every being as a star appeared. The star grew and grew, amplifying the blasts that protruded outward. Rosalina wasn't in range, sitting back leisurely as the Grand Star did its job. Mac could pivot around freely in Smash's gravity, despite the pain. He'd been experimenting against Cruel Smash level training dummies just to see how much control he had over his trajectory at any given time.
Gotta do this, just right., Mac hissed mentally through the pain.
But he was about to school the Smashers in downward momentum! Just as The Grand Star exploded, Mac took advantage of the free air a millisecond beforehand to launch into a Jolt Haymaker. As he was already headed down anyway, the Grand Star's explosion sent him in that direction anyway, down, and safely to the ring. The lighting in the arena came back to normal, only for Rosalina to see Mac squatted on the ground. As soon as Mac saw the shocked recognition on the platinum blonde's face, Mac felt his pain drift away, the throbbing moving all towards his dominant fist. It was time. Mac bolted to her completely open frame with a Star Uppercut, sending Rosalina to the top of the blast zone!
LITTLE MAC WINS!
"UNBELIEVABLE!" Cranky screeched, "AT 135 PERCENT DAMAGE! MAC MANAGED TO TANK A FINAL SMASH USING THE GRAVITY IN THE ARENA!"
"Little Mac has clearly put a ton of training into not just dishing out the damage this time, but taking damage," 9-Volt explained, much calmer than Cranky but still in visible awe, "And I think he's gonna be a force to be reckoned with!"
Little Mac, meanwhile, was in the Smash Mansion courtyard. Before the camera drones were upon them, Lewis strapped the belt around Mac's waist. The cameras greeted them just as he did. Lewis quickly raised Little Mac's gloved hand in victory, nearly lifting him off the ground.
"You've got what it takes Mac," encouraged the portly trainer as the splash screen declared him the winner once and for all.
The two were warped back into the tunnel, where Mister Zero was waiting for them, "Champ, what…?"
"MY BOY MACK JUST SURVIVED THE DEATH STAR BLOWIN' UP OR SOME SHIT! NO QUESTIONS!" hollered Doc, nearly dragging a bashful yet winded Little Mac up the tunnel.
Now the cameras were on Rosalina and Luma. The Luma had a worried expression on its near-featureless face, while Rosalina's face bore a smirk.
"Rosalina, what happened out there?"
"Simple, I underestimated the base, human form, despite the fact that's what I once was myself. Mac took everything into account as a good tactician should, I must dwell on this, excuse me," she stated, her and Luma teleporting up the tunnel.
When Mac and Doc emerged to the seating area for Smashers, he heard a caterwauling of noise, Amazement, demands to teach him what he had done, grumpy shouts from the villain. But Doc's voice towered over them all.
"Y'ALL'RE JUST AS BAD AS THE SPORTS REPORTERS! SIT THE HELL DOWN! I GOTTA UNGLOVE MY BOY HERE!"
Except for the squealing of a Luma who did a not-so-subtle job at wiping away Rosalina's tears, the arena was quiet for the randomizer.
"PIT VS META-KNIGHT!" Cranky and 9-Volt announced together.
"Hey, that's me!" cheered Pit, soaring down Tunnel B.
"You can do it Pit! Do it for me!" Palutena shouted after him.
"Hey! You're supposed to go down Tunnel A." Shulk shouted far too late, "Eh, sod it. Meta-Knight, you're in Tunnel B now, ROB, radio down to control, let 'em know about the change."
As ROB droned out his affirmatives, Meta-Knight simply let out a grunt of disapproval, enveloping himself in his cap to teleport down the tunnel.