Author's Note: To Angelina, your advice is welcome/ received/ used/ treasured; unsolicited only in the sense that I never thought to ask in the first place. Thank you for the ideas. Once I'd written the summary and chosen the tags I never thought about them again. They did need some revamping for sure. If anything else should pop into your mind...I am a sponge, ready to soak up all of the thoughts.
Thank you to all of the readers out there who have stuck by Dorcas. She needs all the support she can get.
Enjoy this latest chapter with my compliments!
Chapter 43
3 January, 1959 King's Cross Station, London
The station was busy this morning and Dorcas was having a hard time juggling the trunk and the owl's cage. She'd never taken Ryann to the station on her own before. She'd always had Cal with her, faithfully wrangling luggage while she strolled hand-in-hand with Ryann and Wren.
She'd taken his steady presence in her life for granted in so many ways.
Dorcas knew she deserved the cold shoulder she'd been receiving.
Cal did return home after four days away. He'd spoken only a few words to her in the thirty minutes or so that he'd been there. He dropped off laundry and packed fresh clothes, spent some time with the girls and left again.
Dorcas didn't press him on when he'd return permanently. She knew he needed time to process her betrayal in his own way.
Instead, she'd hidden herself in her office until she heard the front door close behind him once more.
Later that night when she'd gathered a load of laundry, she stood paralyzed in the basement for fifteen minutes with one of his dress shirts held to her face, breathing in the smell of his aftershave that lingered on it.
She was thankful at least that she'd had the wisdom to drop Wren off at school first and hadn't taken her along to the train station. She realized that it would have been impossible to keep hold of a five year old as well as the rest of this lot.
"Mama?" Ryann said, turning to her and helping her to lift the heavy school trunk onto a trolley.
"Yes, baby," Dorcas answered distractedly, searching her handbag for coins to feed the trolley machine.
"Has daddy decided to move out of our house for good?"
Dorcas dropped her purse, sighing as she watched its contents spill out at her feet. Kneeling on the grimy pavement, Dorcas tried to collect her belongings and her words before answering her daughter.
Ryann lifted Howdy Doody's cage onto the trunk while Dorcas searched for the answer to her question.
"I don't think so. But he needs time away in order to think about something very important," Dorcas finally explained, shoving a lipstick back into her bag.
Ryann nodded as if she'd understood the circumstances of Cal's departure.
"You kissing my real dad?"
Dorcas didn't know why she did, but she cast a fervent glance around her as if afraid they would be overheard. But even if they had, the sea of people on the platforms were nameless strangers. No one knew them.
"Ryann…" Dorcas sputtered. "How did you…"
Ryann explained. "I heard Cherry get mad at you in her thoughts about it. You two were in the attic before Christmas. I was on the stairs when she stormed past. She was worried that if you didn't tell daddy what happened that Tom would do it instead. And daddy would be very hurt by that."
"I'm sorry you heard that, darling," Dorcas cringed, feeling her cheeks heat at the humiliation of her child being privy to one of her most degrading blunders. "I never should have done that. And I hurt your father terribly."
Nodding, Ryann continued. "So is that what happened? Tom told daddy about it to hurt him?"
"It doesn't matter how it happened, baby. I should have told him about it first and right after it happened. He's sad now because I hid it from him for so long."
Dorcas cursed herself for burdening Cherry with the truth to begin with. How was it possible for her to be as stupid as that? Now Ryann was probably beyond confused by her horrible mistake with Tom.
"Is that why you're with daddy and not Tom?" asked Ryann.
"Is what why?" Dorcas questioned.
She finally found a coin and placed it in the machine to dispense the trolley.
"He's mean and he likes to hurt people?"
Dorcas was thrown by the question. She didn't want Ryann to ever know what Tom really was. The violent scene on the Astronomy Tower seemed to smack her on the side of the head. What would it do to Ryann to know that her real father, her flesh-and-blood, was a living, breathing monster?
They pushed past a throng of commuters on Platform 10 when she saw him and her veins seemed to fill with ice water.
Tom was standing just to the left of the brick wall that would take them to Platform 9 ¾. He chatted companionably with Roman Flint and his wife. A little boy was holding Roman's hand. The little tow headed child couldn't have been older than eleven. Likely a first year.
Tom was in profile, hands casually tucked into his pockets.
Dorcas stopped abruptly. Ryann paused a few steps ahead of her.
A commuter walking too close behind Dorcas smacked into her back.
"Geez, lady!" he chided, sidestepping her and the trolley she pushed.
"Ryann," said Dorcas in a low voice. "We're going to go to school a different way today."
She maneuvered the trolley through the platform full of people and turned the opposite direction, willing Tom to keep his attention on Roman and his wife. Her free hand darted out and grasped Ryann's elbow, pulling her along beside her.
"But mum, the train is leaving in ten minutes!"
"I know, my love. I just think you and I should get some breakfast and talk a little more. I bet I can get Professor Dumbledore to let us floo right into his office. How about that?"
"Okay," Ryann said, glancing back at Platform 9 ¾, unsure.
If Dorcas hadn't been so disconcerted by Tom's presence so close to her daughter, she might have smiled. Ryann could be so like her sometimes, fretting over something like making the train to school on time.
:::
Dorcas sat with an untouched grapefruit half in front of her. Her eyes continually swept the streetfront that she faced while Ryann shoveled crepes and strawberries into her mouth.
Ryann's trunk and owl sat beside Dorcas beneath the table in a small cafe.
Howdy Doody's hoots drew curious stares from other cafe patrons. Dorcas tried to ignore them.
"Ryann, honey," Dorcas began with difficulty.
Ryann's last question still swirled around in her mind, even as she'd fought to keep her pace normal and casual when she felt like dropping the school trunk and the birdcage and running with her daughter out of the station.
"You asked about Tom. If he's mean and likes to hurt people."
Ryann put her fork down and nodded.
"When we were in school, he could be my best friend sometimes and he could be my greatest tormentor. He never wanted to have a family. He had different plans for his future. I thought by not telling him that I was pregnant with you, I was allowing him to be free to do all of the things he'd wanted to do."
Ryann listened silently.
"But, in reality, I was afraid of how he would react if he knew he was going to be a father. He hurt me sometimes and I thought it was okay because I loved him. But he didn't love me back. I realized later, after I married your daddy and had you that I didn't want him to ever meet you. I didn't ever want to find out if he would treat you the same way he treated me."
Ryann's hand darted from her lap and grasped Dorcas's as it rested on her coffee mug.
"Your daddy loved you before he ever met you. He sacrificed a lot of things in order to marry me and give us a future, baby. And I repaid him poorly by kissing Tom. It was a big mistake. A mistake I'm very ashamed of."
"It's going to be okay, mama," Ryann replied. The simplicity of the statement, the assurance that her daughter displayed when she spoke it, caused Dorcas's throat to constrict. "I know daddy loves you a lot. He'll forgive you because you two belong together."
"I hope so, baby!" Dorcas swallowed, feeling tears pricking her eyes. "Are you ready to head home and see if we can get your headmaster to answer his floo?"
Ryann wiped her mouth on the napkin beside her plate and stood, nodding.
:::
"Professor?" Dorcas called, crouching in front of her sitting room fireplace, Ryann crouching beside her.
"Miss Clerey? Is that you, I hear?" a voice called back. It wasn't Dumbledore.
"It is Miss Clerey. Who am I speaking to?"
"It's your old headmaster! How quickly my students forget me!"
Dorcas exhaled a breath she'd been holding, afraid that she'd called into the wrong fireplace.
"Professor Dippet! Hello! I haven't forgotten you!"
"Well that is astonishing! I forget him and he occupies the frame right next to me!" a female voice called.
"Ah Dilys! You forget your own name!" Dippet remarked.
Ryann giggled at the exchange.
"Professor?" Dorcas called, chuckling a little as well. "I wonder if you could track down Professor Dumbledore for me. It's a bit of an emergency, I'm afraid."
"Yes, dear. Of course I will!"
Moments later, the outline of Dumbledore's face came into focus in the flames.
"Good morning, Dorcas. Ryann!" the headmaster said in surprise. "What time is it? Don't you have a train to catch, young lady?"
"We skipped it, professor," Ryann laughed.
Dumbledore adopted a grave expression in the flames. "That is a serious infraction, Miss Meadowes! I'll have you in detention until Halloween for that!"
"It was my fault, professor! I couldn't part with her just yet," Dorcas explained.
"Well, it's detention for you as well, Dr. Meadowes!"
Ryann leaned into Dorcas and laughed harder. Dorcas loved that sound. Her world was in shambles now, but this girl was a beacon. Whatever else might happen in her life; if Cal decided that he could not find forgiveness for her, at least she had her two beautiful girls. She was blessed.
Dumbledore laughed with them. He was a talented educator and always impressed Dorcas with his ability to find himself at his students' level, no matter what it took.
"Sir, may we come through to your office?"
"I would consider it an honor!"
Dorcas sent the trunk on ahead, followed by Ryann and her owl. Finally, she stepped through the stone arch and into the headmaster's office.
"Hello, ladies!" the headmaster said in greeting.
Dumbledore stood to one side of the fireplace wearing silver robes, a tassel tying his long beard.
"Was there some trouble with the Hogwarts Express, Dorcas?" he asked, a note of concern in his voice.
Dorcas looked pointedly at Ryann, but shrugged and replied, "I just wanted to take Ryann out for a beginning of term breakfast and spend a little quality time with her."
"They don't stay young like this forever. You must seize the moments you can with them."
So true!
"Tansy!" Dumbledore spoke into the air.
Only a second later, there was a Crack! and a house elf in a crisp white tea towel appeared, bowing low before the headmaster.
"Professor, sir. Dumbledore, sir. How can Tansy serve you, master?"
"Tansy, thank you for coming. Please take Ryann's trunks to Ravenclaw Tower."
The elf stood only as tall as Dorcas's hip and had baleful violet eyes.
"Right away, sir," Tansy said, snapping a finger at the trunk, floating it to the door.
To Ryann, Dumbledore said, "I think your owl might like to stretch his wings."
"Run along, my love. And have a good term!" Dorcas added, smiling at her oldest.
Ryann, setting down the large birdcage with the disgruntled Howdy Doody inside, threw her arms around her mother.
"I love you! Everything will be okay!"
Dorcas kissed the crown of her daughter's head. She believed her.
"I love you too, baby! Have a good term!"
Ryann grabbed the cage and made a dash for the door, but turned back to Dorcas as an afterthought.
"Don't forget my first match, mama! Against Gryffindor. You and daddy have to come."
"We haven't forgotten!"
Ryann disappeared down the spiral staircase.
Dumbledore smiled as he watched Ryann depart. Then he fixed Dorcas with a serious look. "What happened this morning, Dorcas?"
"Tom Riddle was at King's Cross. A little over a week ago, he made it clear that he expects to be in Ryann's life."
Dumbledore's eyebrows darted to his hairline.
"I was not expecting that."
"There's more," Dorcas said, sinking into one of the high backed chairs beside the fire.
:::
5 October, 1941 Arithmancy Classroom, Fifth Floor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Dorcas was always early to Arithmancy. She'd fought so hard to be a part of this class that she never wanted to run the risk of being late or unprepared. She didn't want Professor Lin to have any reason to dismiss her from among the small number of girls that dared to take it.
Cal showed up out of breath only a minute or two after Dorcas.
"Good, I found you!" he panted.
Dorcas shrugged her shoulders and laughed.
"Where else would I be?"
Cal didn't answer, shoving a letter at her.
"What is this?"
"Read it!"
Dorcas opened the envelope embossed with a gold crest on it, an apple tree with a sheep grazing in the foreground. She pulled a heavy linen stationery sheet from inside and unfolded it.
Dear son,
We've had news from your brother's squadron chief. He arrived on these shores yesterday. He's injured and malnourished, having endured an arduous journey to Spain with the Resistance before boarding a ship home.
I have no time to write more and have not been given any details beyond those I've already shared. I am going to the station this moment to board a train for Dover to see him. I will write to you again when I have new details to share about Benjamin's condition.
Hoping all is well at school.
Love from your mother
Dorcas's voice burst out of her as Cal took the seat to her left.
"Cal, it's a miracle!" Dorcas shouted, throwing her arms around his neck.
Cal beamed at Dorcas's reaction. "It is indeed!"
"You must be so relieved," Dorcas said, pulling back to look at her friend. Her hands remained on his shoulders.
He nodded. "I am. In more ways that one."
Dorcas scrunched her nose and cocked her head to one side.
"What do you mean?"
More students were taking their seats.
Cal's hand came to rest on the crook of her elbow in a familiar gesture.
"I am relieved that my brother is alive and safe. But it also means that I get to stay at school."
"Stay? Your parents wanted you to leave?"
"Oh yes! My father threatened to stop paying for my education if I didn't drop out of Hogwarts and enroll in a Muggle school this summer."
Dorcas gasped. The very idea of Cal not being here was jarring to her.
"He never much cared what I wanted to do with my life before. I'm just expected to act with decorum and not embarrass the family. Benjamin has all of the expectations placed on him. But when they thought he might never come back, that changed."
"It must have been difficult this summer for you."
Dorcas's heart sank momentarily. She realized she hadn't written to her friend all summer to inquire about how things were going. Besides asking after his brother in passing at Cherry's birthday party, Dorcas hadn't shown any interest in Cal's struggles at all. She was so wrapped up in her own family's angst and Jack and Tom. She'd never so much as assumed anyone else was going through it at the same time.
She could be so selfish sometimes.
"It was." Cal took the letter back and shoved it into the breast pocket of his jumper. He squeezed her elbow. "You were kind enough to ask about my brother, so I thought you'd want to know."
Dorcas grabbed fistfulls of his robes and pulled him into a tight embrace again.
"I'm so happy for you and your family!"
She felt Cal's arms slip around her, warm fingers spreading across her back.
"Birdie, everyone's watching this little display the two of you are putting on," Tom's warning voice broke into her thoughts.
Dorcas briefly thought about a rude gesture she wanted to give to Tom in response, but hugged Cal tighter instead.
She broke the connection a moment later, shifting her weight back on the bench. Something moved beneath her, causing her to gasp.
Clay Atwood pulled his hand away from her with a blank look cast in her direction.
Dorcas apologized quickly. She hadn't noticed her other partner join them on the bench and had sat back on his hand as it rested beside her.
He gave a small smirk and shrugged.
In his mind she saw that his hand hadn't casually rested on the bench, but slipped beneath her as she leaned into Cal. It was intentional.
She was reminded of the time she fled the library last winter because she'd picked up on some rather compromising daydreams he was having about her. Imaginings where she found herself tucked into a dark corner, on her knees, his hands wound into her hair, holding her head in place.
"Students," Professor Lin said, bringing the class to order. "We have another new student. Please welcome Reina Morelos. "Miss Morelos will be joining Mr. Riddle and Mr. Singh."
The class welcomed Reina as they had Dorcas when she'd joined the class.
Dorcas sat stiffly between her two partners for the remainder of Lin's lecture, trying not to remember what she'd seen in Clay's mind. Trying to ignore his thoughts now.
She tried to concentrate instead on Lin's explanation of the formula for predicting a trend in historical events. But she was jolted when Clay brushed his little finger against the back of her hand as she wrote. She pulled her hand from him, making a dark inky slash across her notes.
Cal looked at her questioningly, but didn't say anything.
Dorcas hung back when class ended and watched Clay Atwood pack his things and leave.
"You've started a revolution, Dorcas!" Cal said on the other side of her.
"Huh?"
Dorcas spun in her seat at the sound of Cal's voice.
Cal nodded in the direction of Tom, Mohit, and their new partner who were chatting as they left the classroom.
"Reina," Cal explained. "She wouldn't have been allowed to take this class if you hadn't forged the path first. You should be proud of yourself."
I'm proud of you, Cal added in thought.
Dorcas stared after Reina and her partners and then blinked back at Cal.
"I didn't do anything. It was my mother and my uncle."
Cal lifted Dorcas's bag to his shoulder and stepped aside so that she could slide from the bench behind him.
"You stood your ground. They wouldn't have had to pressure Dippet if you hadn't refused to go to that class, if you'd given in when you were punished."
Dorcas hadn't looked at it that way. She liked the way she appeared in Cal's thoughts. Strong, adamant, capable, fearless.
She wished she could live up to that image.
She cleared her throat. "Cal, please don't ask me why. But would you mind trading seats with me next time?"
He stared at her as they walked and considered why she might not want to sit in her middle seat. But he conceded to her request and did not ask why.
"Consider it done, Clerey."
:::
4 January, 1959 Safe House, Northern London
Dorcas feared she was late. Her conversation with Dumbledore, though necessary, was unplanned. Now she was racing up the stairs to Gwen Stanely's safe house wondering if Mrs. Stanley's memorial service had begun without her.
A small group milled about the drawing room with mugs in their hands, casual conversation on their lips.
"Dorcas!" Gwen said, opening the door before she could knock and announce her presence. "I'm so glad you could make it."
Gwen had taken to gushing praise and affection whenever Dorcas showed up at her house. Dorcas knew it came from Gwen's awkward and guilty feelings for the part she'd played in Dorcas's poisoning and the death of her baby.
But throughout the ordeal of caring for Gwen's dying mother, and the vigil she'd kept with her young assistant afterward, a true friendship seemed to be blossoming between them.
Gwen's arm wrapped around Dorcas's waist.
"Now we can begin," Gwen said, her cheerful tone sinking somewhat.
Besides Gwen, only three others loitered in the small space, Gideon and Fabian Prewett and Cal.
Dorcas smiled at the Prewett brothers, her smile faltering a bit as she met her husband's eyes.
He didn't return her smile or her greeting. He sighed and seated himself on the opposite side of Gideon, as far away as he could be from her in the cramped space.
Mrs. Stanley's memorial was a small and simple affair that consisted of toasts to her memory and throwing back fiery scotch. Everyone participated except Cal, who never drank.
Fabian shared a conversation he'd had with Mrs. Stanley just before her death where she cursed him for a blind fool and explained that Gwen was over the moon for him.
"And then she said, "Wise up, you idiot and kiss her!""
"What did you do, brother?" Gideon asked.
Gwen answered for him. "He found me in the back garden and planted a kiss on my lips that made my toes curl!"
There was some laughter that died out as everyone remembered the somber occasion for the gathering.
Cal stood.
He held a coffee mug instead of a tumbler of scotch.
"I didn't know Mrs. Stanley for very long. I wish it had been longer. She was a kind woman. And she must have been a fighter before the cancer. She had a fierce spirit."
Gwen nodded.
"Gwen, she told me something just before she died. She said that she didn't know what happened to cause her Gwenny to have to hide. But she wanted me to know that you're not a bad girl and you would never do anything to hurt another soul."
Dorcas held Gwen's hand tightly in both of hers as Gwen sobbed.
"Before meeting you, I wanted to believe that you were a villain. I wanted to believe that you deserved to be punished for what you'd done. But I've watched you these few weeks and I've heard all of the stories your mother liked to tell. And I believe her. I think you wouldn't have helped Muybridge if you knew your actions would harm Dorcas or our baby. I want you to know that I forgive you for your part in my son's death. I hope the man that Muybridge used to threaten you and your mother is found and put in prison with Muybridge. I hope you have a good future. It's all your mother wanted, too."
"To you, Gwen!" Dorcas said with a squeeze of her hands on Gwen's
"I'm so sorry! I don't deserve any of the help that you all have given me!"
"That's nonsense, sweetheart!" Fabian said, pulling her into an embrace.
It seemed as if the remembrances were concluded.
Dorcas stood and moved over to Gideon.
"May I speak to you in private?" Dorcas asked.
Gideon nodded and placed a hand on Dorcas's back, guiding her toward the front door.
"What is it, Dorcas?" Gideon asked, shutting the door before shrugging into his overcoat.
Dorcas was pulling on her gloves.
"You have experience in family law."
Gideon nodded. "Yes, most of the cases I handle are family law."
"Could you tell me what rights my oldest daughter's biological father has to her?"
Gideon blinked in surprise.
"Cal is not your daughter's father?" he asked.
Dorcas shook her head, exhaling and watching the fog escape her mouth.
"Not my oldest, no," she explained. "Ryann's father is Tom Riddle."
She knew that Gideon recognized the name. Dumbledore had been working with Gideon to have Hokey the house elf released from Ministry lockup so that the memory of Tom killing Hepzibah Smith could be obtained.
"When did you leave him? Did he consent to relinquishing custody of Ryann?"
"I was never with him," Dorcas explained. "We were not married, anyway. I married Cal before Ryann was born."
"So Cal is listed as Ryann's father on her birth certificate?" Gideon asked.
"Yes."
"That's good, Dorcas. Tom Riddle would have a hard time proving his case in court. He cannot claim her in any legal way."
Dorcas reached out a gloved hand and squeezed Gideon's arm, steadying herself as relief washed over her.
"Gideon, please don't tell Cal about this conversation," she urged.
Gideon's eyebrows lifted.
"Cal doesn't know that Ryann is not his?"
"Yes, he does. But he doesn't know that Tom's made a request to see Ryann."
Gideon shrugged and placed a hand over Dorcas's as it rested on his arm.
"I won't tell you how to live in your own marriage, Dorcas, but I would want to know if someone's made threats against my child. I know Cal would feel the same."
"Please, just let me tell him in my own time."
They were silenced from discussing the matter further when Cal opened the door to leave. His eyes looked between the two and fell on the hand Gideon had clasped over Dorcas's. If he was curious about their exchange, he didn't ask about it.
"Dorcas," Cal said, the frosty air clouding his features momentarily. "I'm going to pick Wren up from school this afternoon."
"Are you headed to the hospital now?"
"Yes," Cal answered.
"Okay. Have a good day. See you later this afternoon."
"See you then," Cal replied before pulling on his gloves and walking down the sidewalk.
Dorcas felt a spark of hope. She and Cal would have the opportunity to clear the air finally. He'd been gone for more than a week. It was high time they hashed this problem out and moved past it. And she needed to find a way to tell him about the alarming conversation she'd had with Tom.
She needed to go to the grocer's. She would make him a dinner such as he'd likely not had living away from home these past nights.
:::
5 October, 1941 Library, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Dorcas spent another ten minutes after Cal left for the Quidditch pitch going over her notes from class that morning. The big scratch across the page where her quill jerked in her hand as she pulled it away from Clay Atwood's fingers marred her writing and made her squirm uncomfortably at the memory.
She decided to pack it in for the evening but her feet did not carry her out of the library and to her house common room.
The name she'd heard in Binns's mind popped into her own every once in a while like a mantra or a prayer.
Corvinus Gaunt.
It made her feel guilty. Tom's plan had failed because of her.
Instead of leaving, she found herself walking a familiar path to the old study corner she shared with Tom. He occupied the space alone now.
It somehow moved Dorcas to see him huddled over his notes in a solitary and friendless posture. She felt a tenderness for her friend that she'd assumed was gone for good.
"Hey," she said, taking the seat next to him. "So you got a new partner today. That's exciting!"
"Is it?" Tom asked, looking up from his writing.
He was scanning a familiar sheet of paper that held notes about his plans to make a Horcrux. A list with ingredients and notes about how to possibly obtain them.
"It seems to me every talentless third year girl now thinks she can take this class because you did it."
"Why is that a bad thing? And Reina's not talentless. I think you'll find her more capable than your other teammate, anyway."
"You might be right. But you could have been my partner if you hadn't been so stubborn, Birdie."
Dorcas exhaled. They'd had this conversation before.
"I already told you, Lin thought I just wanted to be in there to be close to you."
Tom laid his notes down and gave her his full attention.
"That's not a bad thing, Birdie."
Dorcas rolled her eyes at him.
"Tell me how you would feel if you could hear a teacher thinking that way about you? Would you like it if your teacher thought you were not serious because you wanted to be in this class just to be close to me?"
Tom sat back and smirked.
"That would never happen."
Dorcas glared at him. Why didn't she just leave the library when she'd intended to? He could be so infuriating.
She knew why. Because she'd been compiling something for him. An olive branch of sorts.
Digging in her school bag, she pulled out a sheet of parchment and handed it to him.
"What's this?" Tom asked, taking the sheet and looking it over with a furrowed brow.
"An apology for bungling things with Binns."
"Medical instruments?" Tom quirked an eyebrow. "I hadn't thought about that."
"Yeah," Dorcas said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Thermometers and things. They use mercury."
"And Muggle factories will probably be easy to break into." He tapped a long finger against his bottom lip as he read and thought.
"Not if the Ministry is watching us, Tom."
"Let me ponder that one for a while. But I think this is a good start on another ingredient. You did well, Birdie."
Why did his approval give her such a golden glow inside? She was so annoyed with herself right now.
"Well, I wanted to make amends. I know that you pinned your hopes on me about the feather," she finished cryptically in case anyone was in hearing range.
His eyes flashed briefly, confirming for Dorcas that he still held her responsible for the missed opportunity to find the chamber and Slytherin's monster.
"Binns said something that I've been thinking about, Tom."
"What's that?" he asked absently, holding the parchment list up to inspect it.
"He said that he thought you should become an educator. You could even become headmaster one day," Dorcas said.
Tom dropped the parchment on top of his other notes.
"Yeah, he's tried to encourage me down that path before."
"I think it's brilliant! You'd be a great teacher!"
She meant it. He was the smartest student she knew. He was always driven to experiment and push the boundaries of magical possibility. He could do with a little more patience, but that was a skill that could be developed over time.
He smiled at her. "You think so?"
"I do!"
:::
4 January, 1959 Watermead, Aylesbury
Dorcas removed the roast from the oven and basted it for ten minutes before placing it back into the oven.
She'd taken extra care with her appearance this afternoon in anticipation of Cal's arrival home. She'd picked out a dark blue dress with the kind of A-line, feminine skirt that she knew Cal liked on her. Heels and pearls. It wasn't a special occasion, which made her second guess the whole getup. Still, she reasoned, she didn't need a special occasion to dress the way her husband liked.
It was all for him.
She felt a flurry of nerves when she wondered what she would say to him. But she calmed a little when she decided that she would let Cal take the lead. She would not become defensive or reactionary. She would be contrite and apologetic and conciliatory.
Their marriage was what was important. She was determined to do anything to repair it.
The sound of the front door opening caused her heart to leap into her throat.
"Mama," Wren called. "Charlie ate three carrots today!"
Dorcas's youngest raced into the kitchen with tales of the hamster that was her obsession. Dorcas was surprised that the little fella was still alive. The teacher probably just replaced him with a look alike when one died.
"Three whole carrots!" Dorcas said, turning and lifting Wren into her arms.
Cal came through and set Wren's school bag on the dining room table before disappearing down the hall with his own bags.
Dorcas was happy to see him. She smiled, but he didn't return the gesture.
She tried to brush it off. Cal hadn't seen her take notice of him.
Placing Wren back on her own two feet, Dorcas swatted her behind and told her to go find Pippa.
She followed Cal down the hall and into their bedroom.
"Did you have a good day at work?" she asked, unzipping the bag he'd cast onto the bed and removing his dirty clothes, depositing them into the laundry hamper.
"It was good," he answered, unlatching his bag that contained the papers he'd taken from the basement laboratory when he'd left a week ago.
"I didn't get to tell you earlier, but I liked what you said to Gwen at the memorial. I think she needed to hear it."
"I took my inspiration from you," Cal said, dropping the papers he was scanning, slowly moving toward her.
"Me?" Dorcas asked in wonder. How had she inspired him to say that?
When Cal placed a hand on her shoulder, his thumb rubbing the bare skin of her arm, her stomach flipped as if the feel of his touch was a completely new sensation.
"Yes, you forgave her weeks ago because you were sympathetic to her situation. I fostered a grudge during most of that time. I only reluctantly helped her because I knew it was the right thing to do. Because we need her if Muybridge is to answer for our son's death."
"I don't see it that way at all, Cal."
Dorcas was nervous to speak. She dreaded saying the wrong thing.
"I think you're still grieving. Just like I am. I know you. You didn't hold our baby's death against her. Not really," she continued.
His hand slipped from her shoulder, fingers gently tracing a decent to her palm. He held her hand.
Dorcas swallowed, afraid to make any sudden movements, she stayed frozen where she stood.
Cal seemed to understand her reluctance. He attempted to break the ice.
"Did you have any trouble getting Ryann off to school this morning?"
It was an innocent enough question.
Dorcas flinched.
"What happened?" Cal asked, his voice mirroring her apprehension.
Dorcas pulled in a deep breath. She knew what keeping things from Cal had done to their marriage. She wasn't going to make that mistake again.
"Tom was at the station this morning."
Cal's fingers stiffened in hers.
"What do you mean, he was at the station?"
Dorcas tightened her fingers around his.
"He was standing next to the brick barrier to 9 ¾. Talking with Roman Flint and his family."
Cal's eyebrows knitted together, his stance became defensive at the idea that Tom Riddle was anywhere near his child.
"What did he do? What did you do?"
"I saw him before we got close. I turned and left the station with Ryann. We came home and flooed into Dumbledore's office instead."
Cal relaxed a little. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, Dorcas."
Dorcas shook her head dismissively. "Dumbledore is going to keep a close eye on her while she's at school this term."
Cal's eyes narrowed.
"You believe he was there specifically to see Ryann?"
"Yes, I do," she replied. She sucked in another steadying breath, bolstering her. Be brave, Dorcas! She repeated it to herself over and over again in her mind. "Cal, there's more."
Cal led her to the edge of the bed and sat down, guiding her to sit beside him.
"Tell me," he encouraged.
"After you left the first time," she began. "I was so angry at Tom for sending that memory to you."
Cal opened his mouth to say something. Dorcas held up a hand. If he interrupted her, she may never find the courage to say what she must.
"I know, Cal. I should have told you. And I was going to. But it was such a despicable thing to do, so spiteful. I went over to Gemma's to confront him. She sent it, by the way. But he'd probably been thinking about how he could use the memory to torment me since the kiss happened. I'm so sorry!"
She spoke in a rush before he could cut her off.
"But, Tom asked about Ryann. He knows that she's his, Cal. He said he wants to be part of her life. That's why I think he was there today, to force a confrontation."
She blew out a breath, trying to stop her bottom lip from trembling.
Cal pushed off of the bed and stood over her.
"You can't help yourself, can you?"
Dorcas blinked, recoiling at the tone he used. She couldn't have been more surprised if he'd struck her. His words hurt just as much.
"I'm sorry, Cal!" Dorcas repeated. "I didn't know what else to do. I just wanted to hurt him like he'd hurt me. I wasn't thinking." She felt her cheeks grow damp with tears.
"He didn't hurt you, Dorcas! I'm the one that was betrayed. I think it's pretty telling that your first impulse after I walked out was to run to him!"
"Cal, I–"
It was Cal's turn to hold a hand up and silence her.
"Dorcas, enough!" His voice was raised and he seemed to remember at the same moment she did that Wren was playing with her kitten on the other side of the wall they shared.
He drew his wand. "Muffliato!" he said before stowing it again.
"AND NOW THE PSYCHOPATH IS COMING AFTER OUR DAUGHTER!"
He crossed the room and began gathering clean shirts and trousers from the closet.
"Cal, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like? I'm packing."
"Please don't leave again, Cal," Dorcas begged, making a childish grab for the open and half-filled duffle that sat at arm's length from her.
Cal reached for it at the same moment and wrestled it from her grip.
"Why don't you go cry to Tom about it? Bring Wren with you this time. Introduce both of your girls to that murderer!"
"No! Wait, Cal," she pleaded, holding on to his shirtsleeve as he shouldered his bags once more and strode out of the bedroom.
He rounded on her, seething. "Keep your voice down. Don't make a scene. Think about Wren."
Grabbing her hand roughly, he tore it from his sleeve.
A sob escaped Dorcas and she clapped her hand over her mouth to keep Wren from hearing her.
Cal sighed and turned to face her.
"Do I have to worry about our daughter, Dorcas? Are you going to look after her properly? Or should I take her with me?"
It stung to hear Cal talk to her like that. He was angry about the kiss, she understood that. She even understood why he was furious at her now. She should never have provoked Tom. But to imply he had no faith in her ability to care for Wren wounded her the most.
She moved toward Wren's closed bedroom door and stood in front of it.
He could walk out on her and never come back. She half expected this anyway. But she would not let him take Wren.
"Just go."
Cal didn't need any more encouragement to vacate their home. He turned and lifted his bags to his shoulder. She heard the front door close moments later.
:::
14 October, 1941 Third Year Girl's Dormitory, Ravenclaw Tower, Fourth Floor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Dorcas's fingers were frozen and her feet were numb by the time she made her way back to her dormitory from the Owlery. A hot shower would remove the chill.
Dorcas crossed the room to her bed. She was not the only one in the room.
June Riley sat on her bed opposite to Dorcas's with a book propped open on her knees.
Dorcas noticed two envelopes laying on her pillow, she cast her nightgown aside that she'd gathered up to take into the showers with her. They were addressed to her in Jack's handwriting.
"I must say, Dorcas," the blonde girl chimed, looking over the top of her reading. "It's nice to have your presence in the dormitory again on a regular basis. When you were dating Tom Riddle we barely saw you at night."
Dorcas understood the insinuation. While she and Tom dated, Dorcas spent every night with him instead of in her own bed. This was true, but not in the way that June had meant.
Giving June a stiff smile, she gathered the two envelopes and left the dormitory once more.
She went in search of the vacant classroom with the mirror in it. She wanted to see Jack's face. The photograph wouldn't do tonight. When she wanted to pretend that he was here with her, the mirror showed her a happier and more vital version.
She crept into the classroom, closing the door behind her and locking it with magic. She left the lights off, preferring to only cast a dim glow from her wand in order to read her letters.
Dorcas sat herself about two meters from the mirror in order to look on her reflected future without having to cramp her neck.
She opened the letter that had the oldest postmark.
Darling Dorcas,
You can ask me to do anything at all for you and I would move heaven and earth to make it so. But do not ask me to forget the first time you kissed me. It would be like asking me to part with a limb or a vital organ. You have no reason at all to be ashamed of your actions. I don't think of you as too forward. I think you are an angel for wanting to comfort me when my thoughts lingered on the death of my sister. I sometimes find myself wishing that I hadn't stopped your busy fingers from unbuttoning your dress. I fantasize sometimes about helping you to accomplish the task faster. Is that too honest a confession to tell such an innocent girl?
Don't ask me to forget how your lips felt pressed against mine, my fingers tangling in your hair. That memory is one of my dearest companions. I could no sooner banish it from my mind than I could forget about the sound of your voice as you sang to me. It can't be divided from me. It's all I have.
But I dream of the moment that this conflict is over and you are in my arms again. Then I can make you my wife and I promise I will not lift a finger to stop you when you take a fancy to shed that dress once more. Until you're mine in name and vow, I'll have to be content with a memory and my own imaginings.
Please don't feel shame for any moment we've shared together. Every moment has been a precious gift to me. I would be sorry to think any part of our time together distressed you. I only want you to remember our day with joy.
I am grateful for you, angel.
I love you!
Jack
Dorcas read the letter three times in a row. Her cheeks were aflame.
He loved her.
She stared at his name and the words he'd confessed above it. She knew she felt the same way.
The mirror confirmed her feelings. She couldn't wait to describe the view she had in this gold ornate frame to him. How would he react to it? Her stomach flipped with anticipation of his words.
She hurriedly opened the next letter. What delicious revelations would this one hold for her?
When she opened it, she noticed right away that it was much shorter. And the handwriting was rushed.
Darling Dorcas,
I am writing a quick note to you to tell you of my regiment's plans to ship out in the morning. We're to be deployed in North Africa. Imagine that!
Don't be worried for me. Write to me and tell me all of the magical things you're learning at school.
I love you, angel!
Jack
She stared at the faces looking back at her from the mirror. Jack, with an arm around her, looked down at her adoringly. The little girl between them seemed to be a perfect blend of his features and hers. Dorcas had never seen another face reflect such beauty and radiance than this little girl that was her future.
She realized that she wanted this future more than she ever wanted anything in her life.
And it all teetered on a precipice, any number of factors threatened to topple it. How could she prevent that from happening?
She hated the passive waiting that she had to endure. She would marry Jack right now if she could.
Dorcas kissed the name that closed out each letter and folded them, placing them carefully into the pocket of her skirt. She pushed off of the floor and intended to go back to her dormitory.
Hopefully June and the other girls were already asleep.
Her feet took her in another direction without her being aware of it.
She stopped in front of a polished plaque beside the door leading into the Trophy Room. This was the memorial to Hogwarts' war dead. Three names had been added to it since she'd last stopped to look at it.
Dorcas stared at these names in a hardened way that surprised her. A thousand names could be added to this plaque. If it meant that her Jack didn't end up as a name on a war memorial somewhere, a million others could die in his place.
A noise like a cackle echoed down the stone corridor behind her, followed by a rude raspberry.
Peeves, the school's blasted poltergeist, was about to turn the corner and find her there.
Dorcas rolled her eyes, cursing him for interrupting her thoughts. She did not want to become the target of his pranks and so pulled her wand from her robe's pocket and pointed it at herself.
"Talpaer!" Dorcas whispered, using Tom's invented spell that he'd given her. She became a chameleon, blending in with the wall and the door.
For good measure, she pushed the door to the Trophy Room open and ducked inside, closing it carefully so it would not creak on its hinges.
She made a slow circuit around the periphery of the room, looking at a cluster of glittering crystal Tri-Wizard Cups that bygone Hogwarts students had won.
There were plaques and crests for various Quidditch achievements displayed behind the glass, as well as prizes for young Potions and Transfiguration prodigies.
That's when the name leapt out at her.
Corvinus Gaunt.
It was etched into a large golden shield that named him Wizengamot Youth Council Notable Delegate, 1795.
Her heart beat faster in that telltale way that Dorcas knew meant that she'd stumbled onto something important.
She needed to find Tom.
:::
Another A/N (sorry!)
This is the last chapter that I feel I can safely use the T rating. To guest readers and those that have not followed the story, you will be able to find this beginning next week under the M rating.