Valentine's Day Chat With the Author

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"Kid, it's Valentine's Day. I think we should do something."

"Well, I appreciate the sentiment Heyes, but I think the boys back at Devil's Hole might start getting the wrong impression if you was to buy me a box of chocolates."

"I'm not talking about you, Kid. I'm thinking about Kate."

"I know how much Kate loves chocolate, but I don't think even she would eat a hundred and forty year old box of candy, Heyes. Although I must admit, I have seen her eating some strange concoctions."

Yeah? Like what?"

"Well she was eating this funny shaped chocolate one day. It was round and had four little round nubs poking outta the sides. When I asked it what it was she said it was a …. a turtle."

"A turtle covered in chocolate?" Heyes asked, looking aghast.

Kid shrugged. "That's what she said."

"Was it alive?"

"I don't think so, but I could hear a crunch and I saw something brown oozing out of it... It was enough to turn your stomach, Heyes."

Heyes shook his head to brush away the unappetizing image.

"Well, we're probable best to avoid food anyway. I've noticed she's been packing on the pounds lately."

"Best not let her hear you say that, Heyes. I know what it's like to be on her bad side. I don't think you'd do too well spending six months at the bottom of a well."

Heyes nodded. He did have a fair amount of empathy for everything his partner had been through in recent months.

"But we should come up with something for her for Valentine's Day. Being a woman, she likely expects that outta us."

Kid thought long and hard but simply could not come up with a reasonable gift idea for someone who lived a century and a half in his future. He started to shake his head, but an idea suddenly popped into mind.

"Heyes, is the Pony Express still in business in Kate's day?"

"I don't think so."

"Well Fargo?"

"I think that's a bank in her day."

"Western Union?"

"That might just be for sending money to people in Kate's day."

Kid looked down shaking his head as he had run out of ideas. The suddenly he raised his head and both smiled and snapped two fingers. "U.S. Postal Service!" he exclaimed. "It's been around for nearly a hundred years already. Surely it will still be around in Kate's day."

"And what do you propose we send her?"

"Just a nice, sweet little Valentine's Day card. Nothing expensive. And when we post it, we tell them we don't want it delivered until...until... What year is it for Kate?"

"We'll have to ask her. We'll need her address too," Heyes said. "But hell, she'll give you anything, Kid. Probably won't even bat an eyelash when you ask, especially if you ask while you're taking a bath. She gets all focused when that happens."

Kid grinned. "You noticed that too, uh?"

"Heck a herd of buffalo could race right through her house and she'd never know it when you're taking a bath."

"How about a nice card and we'll put one of them embroidered lace handkerchiefs in it. Women love them lacy things."

"And we can likely do the whole thing for about fifty cents, plus two cents postage."

Sounds fine to me, Heyes. Let's do it."

THE NEXT DAY

"You want this delivered ….when?" the postmaster asked.

"February 14, 2021"

"Well... We do have a delayed delivery department," the postmaster said hesitantly.

"Find, put it in that department," Heyes replied.

"But that's... a hundred and thirty-five years from now... This person...hasn't even been born yet, likely neither has her mother or maybe even her grandmother."

"That's right," Kid replied. "You gonna post it?"

"How do you know it's going to the right address?"

"Well now," Kid said as he leaned into the counter and gave the postmaster his most intimidating glare. "Since when does mailing a letter require that you know that?"

"Alright. You win. Two cents please."

Heyes paid the postmaster and he and Kid turned and walked out of the post office.

"Heyes, it's a shame we couldn't send her a box of turtles."

"A package costs too much to send and besides, the bottom of the box would probably rot out from the decay," Heyes replied.

FEBRUARY 14, 2021.

"I have a C.O.D. letter for you, Ma'am" a pleasant young postal delivery man said when Kate answered her door.

"C.O.D. How much is it?"

"With the raises in postal rates compounded by the general inflation rates over the years, Ma'am, it's... eighty-seven dollars."

"For a letter? What's the posted date?"

"1886."

"Eight..." Kate stopped mid sentence. "Those two have been thinking on their own again," she thought with a bit of ire. "Can you accept a credit card for payment?" she sighed.

"Yes Ma'am," the postman said and pulled an antiquated credit card stamp from his heavy leather mailbag.

"Thank you," Kate said when the transaction was completed. She shut the door and walked into her office, tapping the letter against the palm of her hand as she sat down at her desk.

Kate opened the letter, finding the envelope yellowed and brittle. Inside was an ornate card with extensive floral design and a cute little cherub on each edge. The small verse inside read:

Over the miles and over the years, Here's to good friends, and here's to good beers. With love, Hannibal Heyes and Jed "Kid" Curry.

Kate chuckled and shook her head just as a delicate handkerchief dropped into her lap. She picked up the delicate fabric and admired the fine embroidery and lace and smiled sentimentally.

Kate reached over and turned on her computer. Pushing the document button, Kate brought up a blank Smith and Jones document.

"Boys, you ready for another adventure?" Kate asked.

Heyes smiled. "I see you got our little surprise for you."

"It's lovely," Kate replied.

"Happy Valentine's Day," they both exclaimed.

"And Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. And I have just the present for you both."

Kid looked at Heyes and smiled.

"You mean we're both getting a hot bath?" they asked in unison.