A Ninja's Dance

Chapter 43

Families had arguments.

There was no avoiding that. Any family that claimed they didn't argue about something were either lying or had a lot of unresolved issues stewing.

At least, that was Mikey's opinion. It was also his opinion that when the family in question was made up of four badass mutant ninjas, all of whom probably needed therapy, the arguments were gonna get...heated.

He'd been expecting an argument after the phone call with the Ninja-witch. He could feel it tingle in the air right at the beginning of the call, and as soon as Don had started getting riled he knew it wasn't going to be one of the lighthearted back-and-forths that were standard for their family dynamic.

This was gonna be an all out rager.

Mikey had kinda thought it would be an ok thing to happen. He didn't like it when they fought. But as the observant turtle brother amongst them, Mikey knew that big arguments followed a predictable formula. A formula that usually ended with a proper discussion and resolution of some kind.

They had to end that way. There was too much life or death crap in their world for it to go in any other direction

So. Someone would get riled, there would be an issue brought up that everyone had been avoiding, things would be said, tempers would explode. Raph would lose his shit, Leo would inevitably put his foot in it trying to be reasonable and Don would eventually calm everything down with logic and the backup of Mikey's humour.

But this time and tested formula did not include one Judith Ann Carter. Aka Jay, aka Jay-Bird. Aka their unsuspecting house guest who stumbled into the middle of the storm and decided to scream at the sky instead of finding cover.

That had really turned things sideways.

Mikey wondered how much of the undercurrent Jay had picked up on in the lab. He figured since she was blocked behind Don for a lot of it, she'd probably missed the expression on Don and Leo's faces when they'd locked in their standoff.

Probably hadn't realised that the only reason Don had enough time to get between her and his older bro was because Leo had already pulled himself up short. Because they'd all seen her back up and flinch. Mikey had a perfect line of sight to Leo's face when he turned away, and he knew his brother well enough to recognise what self loathing and frustration looked like when it stuck to him.

Leo had scared her. He knew he'd scared her. They all knew he'd scared her.

And Don was pissed about it.

Like, super sayan pissed.

It had all just tumbled downhill from there.

Mikey glanced at Jay as he filled the kettle, aware that she had avoided all eye contact since they had been guided from the lab by Master Splinter.

With the argument paused, Master Splinter had decided they should move themselves into his room to talk. A calmer location, he'd implied. But a calmer location required a calming beverage, hence why he and Jay were now skirting each other in the kitchen making tea.

In silence.

Oh how Mikey struggled with silence.

"So..." He started eventually, leaning back on the kitchen bench and watching Jay busy herself with fetching mugs and tea bags and milk. She glanced at him when he left the word hanging and Mikey took note of the way her face had tightened up into a sort of clenched jaw attempt at neutral.

"So." She answered, fiddling with one of the mugs on the bench.

Silence again. Silence that now felt awkward and was filled only with the bubbling of water in the kettle.

Ick.

"That wasn't good." Mikey started again, deciding to state the obvious. Jay let out a little huff of defeated laughter and looked over at him properly.

"Yeah, no. No. It wasn't...wasn't good." She agreed, nodding. Mikey nodded along with her.

"You ok?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and trying his best to look as casual as possible.

Jay shrugged, pensive for a beat or two before nodding again.

"Yeah. Yeah I'll be fine." She said softly, shooting him a tiny smile. "Are you ok?"

Mikey smiled back at her.

"Totally. Not thrilled, but not surprised either. This sort of thing happens, you know?"

Judith shot him a look that implied that she didn't know, but didn't say anything.

The kettle finished boiling and Mikey picked it up, heading over to the teapot and neat line of mugs Jay had set out. She stepped back to give him room, taking the mug she had been fidgeting with along for the ride.

Mikey waited until he had filled the teapot for Master Splinter and was moving on to the other mugs before he spoke again, keeping his eyes down as he did.

"Leo knows he scared you in there." He offered up as nonchalantly as he could, and because he was an amazing awesome trained ninja with spider senses, he felt Jay tense somewhere behind him.

At first he thought she might deny it, but when he glanced back and caught her eye, her shoulders drooped just a touch and she sighed a resigned sort of sigh.

"Yeah." Jay stepped up next to him, setting her mug at the end of the line. Mikey waited for her to drop a teabag into it before filling it with water.

"Was it because he went to grab at you? Or because of..." He trailed off, gesturing to his face with his free hand.

Jay lent her hip against the bench and chewed her lip.

"Grabbing, mostly. I think." She said quietly, wincing at the words. Mikey winced a little too, but he hid it by turning around to put the kettle back on its stand. "The thing is, I don't think he would ever hurt me, I don't think any of you would." She said it in a very matter-of-fact kind of way, and Mikey nodded along in agreement. Because none of them would hurt her, and he was glad that she knew that.

"It's just...I've only known you guys for a few weeks, and I don't know that much about you, and its all been so..." She trailed off and Mikey took a leap to fill in the pause.

"Traumatic?" He offered helpfully. Jay nodded.

"And it was dark and he was angry and I've never seen any of you angry like that before. The way he came at me..." She trailed off. "I'd hoped no one noticed that I flinched."

Mikey hummed.

"Yeah. Fraid we did. Notice, I mean." He said slowly. Then he paused for a rather long time, trying to work his words into the right order and say the thing that had been the whole point of bringing up this difficult line of questioning. "If you don't want to be around him, we'll work something out. April has a spare room and Don can make pretty much any place secu-"

"Wait." Jay stopped him, holding up a hand. "You want me to leave?"

Mikey caught the slightest edge of panic in her voice and hurried to correct her.

"No." He said, shaking his head and rearranging his posture from casual to serious. Because this was now a serious conversation. "No. Its just that you have enough to be scared of. Leo's my brother and I know he wasn't trying to freak you out. But we haven't talked about your options and you shouldn't have to stay here if you are scared of any of us." Mikey had to cross his arms again, fighting the urge to reach out and put a hand on Jay's shoulder or give her a hug or something.

He wasn't sure that was what she needed right now and Leo had made a good start on backtracking the 'easy & familiar' contact thing they had going. He didn't want to finish it off.

"Just cause Leo's my big brother doesn't change what you get to feel. I know what we are, Jay. No illusions here. We're scary dudes." He gave her a lopsided smile. "I just want you to feel safe. And frankly, if Leo's blown that for us I know three turtle brothers who are going to kick his sorry ass back to Central America."

Mikey wasn't sure what he expected after his little speech. But he was a little surprised and very, very pleased when Jay stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight surprise hug.

He, of course, hugged her back.

"Thank you" She said softly after a pause, cheek pressed against his shoulder. "For caring about me." She shuffled back, releasing him and leaning back against the bench again. "But I don't want to leave, and Leo and I will work it out."

Mikey smiled.

"Good." He said, organising the mugs onto a tray. Judith went to pick up the teapot but Mikey stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Wait, just a sec. Before we go. You gotta know that what you're gonna hear in there is some pretty messed up shit. If you need a break from the onslaught, you wanna just squeeze my hand under the table or something? I'm real good at being a distraction if you need to bail out for a breather."

Judith took hold of the hand on her shoulder, leaning in conspiratorially.

"One squeeze for a sly cough to divert the conversation, two squeezes and you flip the table while I run." She said in a hushed tone, giving him the first real smile he'd seen on her all day.

Mikey grinned back.

"Oh, Jay-bird. You are on."

The whole conversation turned out to be a giant, unyielding, never ending stream of absolute shit.

If Leo had thought that the first two times were bad, this third go around was like something out of Clockwork Orange.

"So. She wants to use me as bait."

The look on Judith's face was remarkably calm. So calm, in fact, that Leo may have believed the even tone of her voice had it not been for her white knuckled grip on her mug of tea.

They'd gone over everything. Gone over the situation again in excruciating detail. Donatello had explained the Biosites and what they were doing to her, the four of them had taken turns reviewing PH Pharmaceuticals, Monroe, the virus, and finally Karai and the Foot Clan.

Mikey had taken it upon himself to finish their rapid fire overload of information by running through the conversation with Karai, and why Judith had heard her name mentioned in the lab.

Leo found himself withdrawn as the conversation occurred around him, his eyes downcast as his brothers took up the slack. The few things he did add were bullet point and direct, his gaze flicking to Judith but never staying on her for long.

He was fighting against an odd sensation akin to drowning. Like his lungs were taking in air but had forgotten what to do with it.

He was angry. Angry at Don for the Biosites, angry at the Purple Dragons for being so disgustingly uninterested in human life, angry at the Foot Clan and Karai for backing them into a corner so easily.

But above and beyond all that, he was angry at himself.

Why couldn't he have been less reactive when Judith had entered the lab? Why did he let his emotions take control? He was meant to be better than this, calmer than this. He spent his whole life trying to keep himself balanced and steadfast so he could be level headed in situations like these.

The shadowy hints of disgust that thrummed through him was familiar and left a bad taste in his mouth.

Why couldn't he be better.

Leo stared at his cold and barely touched mug of tea, trying to will the liquid into something stronger. Something that would burn on the way down and make the edges of his world soften, if only for a few hours.

"We don't expect you to do it." Don was saying softly in response to Judith, glancing at his brothers for nods and confirmations. "We're going to find another way, its just going to take some time to work it out."

Judith turned to Don, her carefully neutral expression faltering just enough for Leo to notice the tension behind it.

"Do we have that kind of time?" She asked carefully.

Don winced.

"We'll work it out." His clumsy attempt to avoid the question didn't satisfy Judith, and she turned her attention to the rest of the table.

"Mikey? Raph? Do you agree?"

Mikey gave a grin that looked a lot more like a grimace, tapping his fingers on the table while Raph offered a grunt that could have been any number of answers between yes an no.

Her eyes fell on Leo and he met her gaze, clenching his hands under the table to try and stop the internal onslaught as his brain reminded him of his mistakes.

"Leo? What do you think?"

He was surprised that she was asking for his opinion, and for a moment he contemplated answering as his brothers had. With nondescript, almost comforting assurances. But then he squared his shoulders and let out a long breath.

Everyone kept getting angry when he tried to take control of the decisions Judith made. They got angry at him for withholding information or trying to steer things the way he wanted them to go. Yet here they were basically doing the same thing. Sure, it was more subtle, but wasn't false assurances just as bad as leaving her in the dark?

He wasn't about to let her go and throw herself into danger. He certainly had no intention of letting her wander into the open arms of Karai, but wasn't the whole conversation meant to be about honesty?

"We don't know how much time we have." He said slowly. "Knowing what we do, it would be best to act quickly to minimise further casualties."

"What the actual fuck?" Raph burst out next to him, voice low but still explosive. Leo could see his brother squaring up out of the corner of his eye and steeled himself for the fallout.

"Raphael!" Master Splinter snapped from the head of the table, his tail swiping the floor in a half moon. "Do not begin in anger, and watch your language."

Raph cowed ever so slightly under his Masters gaze but didn't back down, turning an outright glare to Leo and baring his teeth in a sneer.

"Look, I'm sorry Masta Splinta' but Golden boy here can't keep his head straight! One minute he's draggin' Jay round by the arm ta keep her outta it and the next he's blurtin' that she should throw herself at the mercy of the Foot?"

"No!" Leo spat out, rounding on Raph. "I don't want her to have any part of this! But you wanted honesty!"

"Oh, is this what honesty looks like on ya then? Cause it sounds a lot more like stupid te me."

Leo clenched his jaw against Raphs flippancy, trying desperately to hold onto his rapidly dwindling fuse. Losing his temper was never something he wanted to do, but doing it in front of Master Splinter? In front of Judith? Again?

"I'll do it."

The potential argument ceased when the small voice interjected amongst the rising tension. Judith was looking carefully at the table, the mug set aside so her hands could press flat against the wood.

"I trust you." She continued, before anyone could recover enough to speak. "I trust all of you, and it makes sense. I'm the most likely to live through a hostage situation. I've been shot twice in the last few weeks and don't have a scratch on me. What's another potential knife wound?"

Don was arcing up to say something but Judith stopped him by holding up a hand and giving a tense smile in his direction.

"If you can find another way before it all goes down then I'll happily back out." She clarified, glancing up at each of the brothers from beneath her eyelashes. "Look, its not exactly comforting, but if something goes wrong I'm almost sure that the Biosites will kick in. I don't know how to fight, so I'm pretty sure they'll stick to what they know and I'll end up running."

Leo could see his brothers trying to come up with ways to argue her points. It was difficult to do, because everything she had said was frustratingly valid, but Leo still had to bite his tongue to stop himself from blurting out 'no' with no backing or explanation.

Eventually, it was Master Splinter who broke the stalemate and spoke up.

"Thank you for your bravery, Miss Judith." He bowed his head slightly in her direction, giving a kind smile as Judith nodded and went back to fidgeting with her mug. "But before we decide to throw ourselves into the lions den, I would like to hear the details of the kunoichi's plan. What was the outcome of your phone call with Miss Karai?"

The silence turned heavy and Raph shared a look with Mikey.

"Dunno." Mikey supplied, giving a weak shrug "I sorta told her not to lose the phone, then hung up on her."

Leo had to fight to keep his shoulders squared and his expression neutral. He hadn't been there when the call had been disconnected, the dial tone was all that was left of the conversation by the time he'd escorted Judith out.

When he'd arrived back...well, his brothers hadn't really been interested in providing a detailed follow up.

Another mistake on his part.

He wasn't sure what the consequences for hanging up on Karai were going to be. There wasn't exactly a bridge there to burn, but it certainly wasn't going to make things easier.

"Ah." Master Splinter raised his furry eyebrows, pursing his lips together before taking one last sip of his tea. "Well, then perhaps we should call her back."

Without any further contemplation or pause for discussion, their father stood, ignoring the multiple sets of eyes that fell on him as he collected his walking stick and tapped it to the ground several times as though testing its sturdiness.

"Ah, Master Splinter, what-" Don was getting to his feet along with his brothers, watching as their sensei made his way past them and into the lair. He got no real response to his half spoken question, only a small smile and a cursory glance back that called without words for them to follow.

They, of course, did. Hurrying after him with long strides amidst confused glances and furrowed brows. Judith stayed hot on their heels, though Leo noted she hung back just far enough to avoid the crush of curious turtles.

"I have not spoken to the daughter of Oroku Saki since she became the leader of the Foot Clan." Master Splinter finally explained when he reached the stairs leading to Don's lab. "I believe it is time that changed. Now, where am I to sit so I may use the phone" With steady movements he stepped through the door and began inspecting the screens and machinery surrounding him with an interested but mildly perplexed expression.

At any other time, Leo would have found this just a little bit amusing. Seeing Master Splinter in Don's lab, one stray finger away from accidentally deleting something critical, would have most of his brothers giggling behind their hands.

But now, right at this moment, Leo felt nothing but a shot of panic as his brain caught up with what was happening.

"Ah, yeah. Yes. You can sit here." Don sprang into action, pulling out his desk chair and getting their father settled before bringing his computer back online.

The screen blazed to life, casting its usual shadows across the faces in the room as Leo moved up to stand at Master Splinters side.

"Sensei," He began, trying to keep his voice steady "We can handle-"

"Leonardo." Master Splinter cut him off, his voice holding no real edge but firm with authority. "We are a family, but I am still Jonin of the Hamato Clan, and I have let my chunin face the Foot alone for too long. I wish to speak to Karai."

"Hai, sensei." Leo closed his eyes for a beat, bowing stiffly and stepping back as the weight of his Masters words washed over him.

He was being asked to back off, and while his fathers request was phrased without any real disapproval or malice, the pressure in Leo's chest was like a knife strike.

As Don hit enter and the dial tone sounded again from the speakers, Leo's mind filled with a single, nauseating phrase.

You failed.

Authors Note: Ok. I had a long winded thing that I had written here in these notes. It was about perfectionism and failure and the downward spiral that little moments can cause to those who hold themselves to unachievable standards.

Which is really what I saw happening here. It seemed right to me that Master Splinter would step in considering the massive scale of this threat. But coming from Leo's point of view, after everything being such a mess with Judith and his brothers and the argument...well.

Usually I write about the things in someone else's head. But this kinda close to what I feel like in my head sometimes. So, this chapter is fucking nerve wracking.

Whew. Ok. See you guys later.

Read and Review, it makes me smile.