Hi, guys! New chapter's here! Enjoy! :))
I can't believe I managed to persuade Dean to go on a little vacation. Sam's more cheerful after our last conversation, and Ben is responsible enough and completely capable of taking care of himself for a couple of days. Kevin waits for his mother to come and pick him up, which will take some time since, for some reason, she ended up in Tijuana with no ID, so I asked Charlie for help. She promised that in a week top Mrs. Tran will be back in the States.
Since there are no cases, I decided to spend some quality time with Dean. Just the two of us, and to my surprise, he agreed.
So, here we are. Rufus's cabin is just the way I remember it. Some time away from everyone and everything is something we both need. We are sprawled across the bed, watching "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Dean chuckles as Indie battles that mountain of a man near the Nazi plane. I haven't seen him so relaxed and peaceful in a long time. There is a hint of a smile on his lips, his beautiful emerald eyes shine as he throws popcorn in the air and catches it with his mouth. I'm leaned on his shoulder, my arm over his chest, and his free hand wrapped protectively around me. For the first time in ages, I really do feel safe. Almost in peace. If it weren't for the nightmares I now have every night, even with Dean next to me. Yet, just being here, lying next to him, being with him, doing ordinary stuff like cooking or watching TV...
"Why are you smiling?" Dean looks at me.
"I'm just happy." I honestly say, prop on my elbow and kiss him.
It quickly turns into something more passionate, deep. The movie is long forgotten, our clothes scattered around, Dean and I lose ourselves into desire and need. Right now only he exists. And I want all of him. I'm desperate for him, for his kisses, his touch, for the feeling of his strong body pressed tightly against mine. I can hear Dean's soft moans as my hands roam all over his body, I'm kissing, nipping, and sucking, enjoying every single sound I draw from him. I want to savor everything, to live here and now forever. With Dean. His hands grab me for the thighs, kneading and pulling. We get lost in it, sighs of pleasure leaving my lips as I meet him thurst for thrust. Grunts and moans echo through the cabin as we rock and arch together our bodies, guided by pleasure and lust, chasing the ultimate intoxicating release.
We are both panting, still entwined, and trying to catch our breath.
"That was..." Dean barely speaks, "Intense."
"Sorry." I offer him a small smile, rolling off of him, feeling sharply the absence of his warmth.
"Oh," he chuckles, "Never apologies for great sex."
I grin at him and snuggle close to him. We lie there, for a couple of more minutes, trying to recompose. I feel drained, the fatigue of the curse not helping much to recover.
"Braeden?" Dean's hand goes absentmindedly through my hair, playing with the messy locks.
"Hm?"
"Will you tell me now?"
"Tell you?"
"What's been bothering you lately."
I abruptly sit, turning to him.
"This again?" I ask, sounding more tired than annoyed, "Already told you. I'm..."
"Don't you dare say you're fine!" he growls and also sits, anger and accusation in his eyes, "You've lost weight. Again. You're pale, barely eating and the nightmares are back. Don't you dare tell me you're fine."
My throat clenches, my breath almost stops. This curse, I know what it is doing to me. I'm constantly tired, coughing, barely managing to hide the blood spats, I don't have much of an appetite, and most of the time my entire body hurts. But for the first time, I realize that my efforts to hide it are not unnoticed. That I worry them. That I worry Dean. Rowena said I had two weeks tops. And that was almost a week ago. I can feel it in my bones. My time is near.
"Yes, Dean," I quietly say, "I'm not fine. You happy now?"
"What's going on?"
The worry in his voice, the uneasiness in his wonderful green eyes... I'm on the verge of crying. I know either way he is going to end up hurt. One way or another. I want him alive, no matter what. Even if it means getting his feelings hurt. Yet, I can't lie to him anymore. I'm so tired of pretending, of hiding. Even if it is to protect him.
"Do you trust me?" I barely whisper tears prick in my eyes as I look at him.
"You know I do." Dean pulls me to him, his hand gently rubbing my back.
"Then, please. Let it be." I choke out, "Let it be for now. Let's enjoy our little vacation. Please. I'll tell you when I'm ready."
His knowing eyes look at me carefully, his expression softens as he nods, brushing away an escaped tear of my cheek.
"Fine."
I exhale in relief and kiss him, pouring my gratitude into the gesture. He is way too overprotective for his own good. He and Sam both. I can not risk it. I am dying anyway. But they will live and that is the only comfort I have left.
"When the time comes, you'll know." I whisper against his lips, "I promise."
I pull away and crawl to the edge of the bed. I feel Dean's eyes on my back, yet I need a couple of seconds to compose myself. After a long deep breath, I turn to Dean, playful smile on my lips.
"I'm gonna take a shower," I suggestively raise my brows, "Wanna join?"
He beams at me as he comes to the edge of the bed.
"No need to ask me twice." he's already on his feet, pulling me to stand up.
I squeak and giggle as Dean pulls me in his arms and carries me to the bathroom. He's eager to put the conversation behind us as much as I am. I put a light bite on his neck as he adjusts the water. His eyes are dark, full of desire and admiration as he looks down at me and gently pushes me back to the wall, the cold tiles digging in my flesh as his hands tenderly brush my thighs.
This time it's slow and sensual. We take our time, no rush. We explore slowly and sweetly, every part of our bodies being appreciated and caressed. Just enjoying being with one another. I feel butterflies and tinkling all over, if Dean isn't holding me against the wall I might collapse of all the sensations he draws from me. The aching tension gradually builds up, every touch sending fire inside us it is almost unbearable, yet more pleasurable than ever. It is intoxicating, having him just for me, being patient, and drinking in everything Dean is. Not just his strong body, wonderful face, and emerald eyes, but his heart of gold, his soul, his tenderness and inner strength, his uncrushed spirit and beautiful mind, his unbreakable courage. His love. And all I want is to show him how much he means to me as our bodies dance to a rhythm as old as the world.
Pure bliss washes upon us, strong and imminent as the rising sun. Dean gently carries me back to the bed and I curl next to him exhausted from the ecstasy he took me through. The last thought that crosses my mind before sleep consumes me is how lucky I am with a man like him next to me.
I wake up to the smell of frying bacon, eggs, and coffee. There's clatter coming from the kitchen. I slowly stir and open my eyes. As suspected, Dean's half of the bed is empty, yet a goofy smile curls my lips as I stretch. My body hurts but it has nothing to do with the curse. My smile grows even bigger. It hurts in all the right places in the most pleasurable way possible. I look to the kitchen to see Dean over the stove, preparing breakfast. I put on a shirt and sneak to him, hugging him.
"Morning."
He turns around, the happiest of smiles on his face as he puts his hands on my waist.
"Good morning to you, too." he puts a light kiss on my lips, "You slept well?"
"Yeah," I can't stop grinning at him, "Wanna help set the table?"
He nods and turns back to the bacon as I pull out plates and mugs. For a second I stop, drinking in the moment. Dean, this perfection of a man I'm in love with, making breakfast, being away from all the world's drama... It's really nice and it's still hard for me to believe we have this peaceful couple of days just for ourselves - to enjoy one another, to have a nice time, to relax and recharge.
A couple of minutes later Dean sets on the table two full plates. I have already prepared his favorite black coffee and my Nescafe crap as he calls it. Almost immediately Dean stuffs his mouth with food, digging in with such appetite one would think he hasn't eaten in days. I find adorable his love of food no matter how bad his dining manners are. I smile and look down at my plate. It's delicious, yet I'm not really hungry and soon I'm just picking around the food, my mind completely elsewhere.
"Dean," I say making him look up from his now almost empty plate, "I think we should talk..." I don't dare to meet his eyes when I add, "It's about Benny."
He stops mid-motion, his fork half the way to his mouth. I know this is a really sore spot for him. I know him well enough to be aware even though he never would admit it, he feels guilty for Benny's death. I always thought there was something more and I believe it's time to clear the air.
"What about him?" his voice is way too even as he sets his fork down, his eyes sharp.
"After he...died," I choose carefully my words, still too nervous to look him in the eyes, "I overheard you and Sam talking. And I think you had the wrong impression about me and Benny. I know we never talked about... well, when he..."
"When you kissed him before I sent him straight back to Purgatory?" there's an edge in Dean's voice, his eyes shine in annoyance.
"I didn't kiss him. He kissed me, okay? And..." I shake my head, "It was his way to say goodbye, Dean. He never had the intention of coming back. I..." I get up and go to my duffel, pulling Benny's letter, "Look, I liked him, okay? But nothing happened."
"It sure didn't seem like that." Dean lowly says.
"Here," I hand him the letter, "I should have showed it to you a long time ago but it never seemed the right time."
His eyes scan through the rumpled paper, then back at me.
"Why are you showing me this? Why bring this up now?"
"Because I know that somewhere in this pretty head of yours you still have your doubts. Even though you never said a thing. And you probably weren't ever going to. You were never a second choice for me or a consolation prize. I need you to know that Benny and I were just friends. He knew long before I realized it, and he was a true gentleman about it. Nothing ever happened."
"What are you trying to tell me, Honey B?" Dean sighs and hands me back the letter.
I straddle him and cup his face, staring straight into his green eyes. His hands immediately come to rest on my waist and I smile at him.
"What I'm saying is you, Dean Winchester, need to get it through this thick head of yours that you are the only man I have ever been in love with." he freezes up for a moment, his body stiffens and I lean in, brushing my lips against his, "And I'm really sorry it took me so long to realize it."
I know it's too much for him. Everything, from Benny to me loving him. Dean and feelings are rarely going hand in hand. But I need him to know it. To hear me say the words when he's not drunk or sleepy. I need him to know I really do love him before it's too late for me to say it to him.
I can feel his unease at his tensed shoulders, at the panic showing in his eyes. He doesn't know how to respond, what to think. This is so typical Dean I almost chuckle.
Before he can actually say something my phone rings. I reach through the table for it. It's Kevin.
"Hey, Kev. What's up?"
"We have a problem. A huge one." he sounds in utter panic, "Braeden, this is bad! I don't..."
"Kevin," there is a sharp command in my voice, "Calm down and spill." Dean tenses next to me, his eyes carefully trying to figure out what is happening so I put the kid on speaker.
"I never really stopped working on the tablets, you know..." Kevin sounds uncertain, guilty even, "I was bored, I needed something to do... So I continued the translation..."
"Get to the point, Kevin." I almost yell at him, Dean's grip on me tightens
"I know what the last trial is. I wrote it down in my notebook, it was in my room with the other translations..."
"Kevin!"
"Sam got it, all right!" he cries out, "He's about to finish the trails and close the Gates."
"But that..." I shut up, looking at Dean in pure horror as his eyes widen in panic.
"Yeah, exactly." Kevin says, "Sam's about to die."
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