Chapter 44

"I don't know how he thinks that will work. I am not fit enough to live alone."

"Who said you need to live alone? I've told you the team is there for you and I am in on it until this is over…"

"No. You need to get back to your life…to work…to…I don't know. You just can't throw your life away because of me."

"I am not throwing my life away Steven and you are a part of my life – a big part even.

How about we listen to what the doc has to say first? You've told me he mentioned several options."

"Yeah, okay. It's just I am…scared. Scared that I won't manage being at home, that I…I…what if…if someone comes after me again?"

"Hey! Nobody is coming after you again. Not all the people we brought behind bars – or their relatives – are crazy and out for revenge. This was a one-time event…but we should talk with Dr. Braddock about that."

Steve closed his eyes, swallowed hard and nodded.

"Okay, let's hear what Dr. Lexington has to offer."

"We have about twenty minutes left. How about you try to relax?"

As usual Dr. Lexington came on the dot.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Do we want to start or do you have questions before that?"

No questions from the two friends.

"Let's start then. We have four options.

1. You stay in this hospital, but not in this ward. We will transfer you to a neurological rehab ward. You'll get PT and occupational therapy three times a week as well as psychological therapy two times a week – unfortunately with new therapists. Costs are covered by your insurance. After four weeks the staff will assess your situation again and decide if you have to stay longer or go home.

2. You will be transferred to an external rehab center. They are treating patients with neurological issues including stroke patients and hereditary diseases.

The amount of PT and occupational therapy will be modified after an internal assessment. They will get your file too, but they'll do their own examinations and tests.

Costs are also covered by your insurance. You will be assessed weekly.

3. You will be transferred to an institution called "Short-term-care-and-sheltered-housing", short SHSTC. You'll sleep and take your meals there and the staff is going to assist you if you need help, but you need to come back here for your therapy with your current therapists. SHSTC is covered by your insurance and the foundation. You can only stay four weeks though, that why it is called short-term. And

4. You can go home. But that is only possible if someone can be with you 24/7. It doesn't have to be the same person and not exactly with you, but in the same house. Just in case you need help. Both PT and occupational therapists – new ones - will come to your house twice a week. In addition, you need to come in here again for PT and occupational therapy with Connor and Aaron once a week and you can continue the psychological therapy with Dr. Braddock as well.

You will need some aids for your home like for example a wheelchair and a shower chair. All costs are covered and split between the foundation and your insurance.

Do you have questions so far or do you want to discuss the options first?"

Steve didn't answer, so Danny said "Give us some time to process and discuss. Can we get you paged?"

"Of course, you can. But actually, I think you should take your time with this. How about we'll talk tomorrow morning after my doctor's round. Around 10 am?"

Still no answer from Steve.

"Sounds good. Thanks doc," Danny answered.

"Hey, you good?" Danny asked after Dr. Lexington had left the room, seeing Steve staring into nothingness.

"Steve? Hey, talk to me."

"I don't like any of this." Steve replied sounding almost defeated.

"Why not?" Danny was very curious, wanting to know what made his friend feeling so negative.

"I…I want to stay here." Steve brought out sounding sad and desperate.

"That is not an option and you know that. Let's talk about the options.

Number one: You stay here, but in a different ward."

"I'll get new therapists. And four weeks? I am sure I will need more than that to be able to walk again and use my hand."

"Okay. That would exclude number two and three as well. Number 2: New therapists and weekly assessment and Number three: "Just" four weeks."

That leaves going home…you have new therapists, but you still have Connor and Aaron once a week."

"But I have to walk the stairs. I am not fit enough for that."

"You are not leaving tomorrow. Doc said one to two weeks." Danny retorted.

"There is only one handrail. How am I supposed to get up there? Leaning against the wall? And I don't want a stranger in my house."

"What do you mean?" Danny asked in confusion.

"The nurse or whoever has to stay with me."

"There won't be a nurse. One of us, Chin, Kono or I will stay with you. We can call Mary. Maybe Cath's mission is over soon. And I am sure…"

"No!" Steve answered too loud and too fast.

"No?" The outburst surprised Danny

"I don't want any of you in my house either!" The SEAL said with determination.

"Steve!" Danny shouted.

"No! What…what…if they come back? I can't protect you and I don't want to get anyone hurt or killed again because of me." the desperation was back.

"Steve. We've been over this and "they" can't come back, remember? Sarah is dead and Michael in prison."

"What if there is another one of them. Or…or…"

"Stop!" Danny yelled. Something wasn't right and Danny needed to know what before Steve got worked up again. It wasn't like the SEAL to look for excuses.

"I am scared Danny. It's not the first time I got attacked at home. And…and I am not sure it was the last. And I can't do that again. And if someone gets caught in the middle…I…I feel safe here Danny." The last words were almost a whisper.

"Buddy…babe…is this what it is all about? Feeling safe?" Danny asked concerned and surprised.

"…Yes…yes Danny."

Steve's looked away for a few secconds, when he turned his head back to Danny, his eyes were filled with unshed tears and he admitted in sad voice "It's my home Danny. I want to go back there. But I don't feel safe there anymore."