"Coulson, y-you need to take me away first," Christie wheezed, almost in pain. Her vision was still blurred and she still didn't feel like the nausea had gone away yet. "Take me far from here, far from Fury, far from S.H.I.E.L.D., far from Asgard - just far away."
Coulson let out a sympathetic sigh.
"I've been thinking about you since I heard you went back up there, Chris," he murmured with his jaw clenched and his eyes trained firmly on the road. "I despise myself for ever agreeing to get you on that mission. It was a dumb thing to do and I should've known from the first time you came back down that it was a bad idea, and I certainly should've stopped you from going back up again." Christie stopped panting and turned to face this guy – the man that she'd viewed as her father for a large part of her life.
"Coulson," she began quietly, turning away from him again with flushed cheeks. "Stop worrying about me. I'm absolutely fine. If you're not gonna take me away, can you just drive me home?"
"I'm not finished!" Coulson interrupted her sharply, which he hardly ever did. Christie shut up obediently, trying to focus on where exactly he was taking her instead. "Ever since we first got you on the team, Christie, you know that I've cared about you…almost like you were my own-"
"…daughter because you promised my mum you would do so, yeah that's wonderful now could you-"
"Still not done! I did, after I came back from T.A.H.I.T.I of course, have a chance to think a lot - and I can honestly say that I'm very sorry. Seeing you today genuinely confirmed my anxiety. You've been broken and torn apart whilst in that godforsaken place. Hardcore assassin who never cried is here having a full on mental breakdown and it's kinda all my fault for presenting the mission to begin with." Coulson let out a long drawn out sigh and, as the car came to a set of traffic lights, he shut his eyes.
"Coulson, for the last time, and I do mean the last time - it wasn't your fault. Yeah it was a risky idea, but it was my mission. I've done worse, I'm alive, I'm back. Now it's done, let's just move on and not revisit it," Christie ordered him firmly, which was her own way of saying that he was forgiven - so Coulson had to settle for it.
He wasn't getting any better than that.
"Well…thanks. Now, would you like to tell me what happened?"
"Seriously? That whole speech about putting me through pain and now you want to know what drove me to it? God I don't get you," Christie grumbled, pushing her wet-with-sweat fringe away from her forehead. Coulson just hummed and tapped the wheel, ignoring her sarcasm and patiently waiting for her to talk instead. "Loki's dead. For real this time," she finally murmured quietly. The words lodged in her throat as she said them.
"Yup! Thought so," Coulson clicked his fingers, causing Christie to roll her eyes. "Did you get back…together….with him after the last time? You know, like, when you got back up there?"
"Not exactly."
"Did you even talk to him-"
"We went up and he ended up straight in jail where he stayed until pretty much yesterday," Christie told him, her voice overpowering his questions.
"I see…so his death affected you so badly….why?"
"Coulson, why do you care so much?"
"Jeez! I just made an entire speech about it, Chris!" Coulson reminded her loudly as his eyes widened in frustration.
"You should know by now that I never understand what I feel. Usually I don't feel much at all, but recently everything's changed. I'm still trying to process these feeling as it is, so I don't know why, I just don't know," Christie groaned, covering her face with her pale slender hands as Coulson fell quiet.
…
"Home sweet home!" Coulson called as he swung open the door to Christie's London based apartment. He stepped through the doorway and so did she, before they both looked around to see if anything much had changed.
It hadn't – it was still the dump that she lived in from before, as small and cramped as ever.
"Home sweet home," she repeated miserably, scuffing the dirty cream carpet with the tip of her boot.
"I mean, you can always renovate it. We did agree to do up the apartment, although I'm still hesitant about those panthers-" Coulson began brightly, shutting the front door behind him.
"No point."
"No…okay Christie, where did your motivation go?"
"It died alongside my bloody boyfriend," Christie told him coldly, looking him dead in the eye. Coulson sighed before sitting himself down on one of her stone dining room chairs that was now laced with cobwebs. He noticed the fruit bowl that sat in the middle of the table, and in there sat the same paper pear with a large chunk missing from that one time. He picked the pear up and stared at it as Christie came to join him, sitting opposite him with her head slumped in her hands.
"Damn. You've had it rough, haven't ya?" Coulson hummed as his light blue eyes met her steely grey orbs.
"You have no idea. No one, has any idea what I've been through…or what I'm still going through, at that." Coulson gulped and put down the pear again.
"Chris. Do you know what I've done since T.A.H.I.T.I?"
"Coulson I don't even know what Tahiti is. Is that a project, is that a person, a place - what?"
"It's a magic-"
"Wait. Does…does Dad know I'm back?" Christie interrupted dryly, referring to none other than Professor Charles Xavier. "Wait, stupid question. Heimdall- some gatekeeper in Asgard, you don't know him - he said that Dad had-"
"Actually your father is alive," Coulson winced. "Very much alive, in fact. I haven't had contact with him yet but he's fine." Christie blinked at him in shock. She was being led up and down this rollercoaster of emotions and now, she just wanted to get off.
"Heimdall said he…he imploded or some sh*t – no one, mutant or not, can survive when their body physically does that," she muttered in denial.
"It's not like you haven't experienced stranger! You're the one that fell in love with a damn Norse god. Why do you only like to believe the unbelievable when you see fit?" Coulson sighed sadly.
"I believe what's logical to believe. Meeting Loki was logical because he was there in front of me, but loving Loki wasn't - and I really should've known from the start," Christie let out a bitter sigh, placing her head down on the surface of the cold marble table and taking another shaky breath in. "So let me get this straight; you're telling me that the man who exploded is alive and well and none of you are rubbing eyes at that? Are S.H.I.E.L.D all high on drugs or what?"
"Hey, S.H.I.E.L.D will only tell you what we know."
"No, S.H.I.E.L.D will only tell me what they want me to know and when they want me to know it," Christie corrected quietly, her small sarcastic smile playing on her lips. "The rest is classified, is it not? 'Level Seven'?"
"Level Seven has nothing to do with you and would you please stop putting it in quotation marks - it exists," Coulson rolled his eyes. "What is it with you and Natasha that you both love getting involved in things that do not concern you?"
"Because I'm pretty sure if we hacked into your databases and searched our names in the sub section of Level Seven, my name would appear around ten times, Ashley's around fifteen, and Natasha's twenty or so, correct?"
"Incorrect," Coulson denied quickly, dropping his gaze. Christie gave an amused sigh and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms and trying to ignore the fact that her heart was still racing uncontrollably since Loki died. This whole conversation had just made her even more determined to go back to the days where she felt no emotions and where life was simple.
Now she didn't know what to do with herself anymore.
"Now, since you've finished this mission, I suggest that you go back to Asgard with Thor when he's done, and then come back home after explaining to…whoever's left…that you're not staying there anymore. I'll be waiting for you somewhere in London, just call me. We'll get you a new apartment in New York so that you're closer to the team and then we'll start from scratch. Christie, this mission is officially over."
…
"You know where I am when you're ready," Coulson sighed, giving Christie a small smile. He pulled up to where most of the commotion had taken place without them - Greenwich looked an absolute wreck from the damage Thor and Malekith must've done in their absence. Christie let out a shaky sigh, shivering a little at the bitter British air once she opened the car door.
"Fine. I'll see you when I see you – this really shouldn't take too long," she mumbled before swinging her long legs out of the car with her body reluctantly following suit. She slammed the door behind her and Coulson gave her a small salute before zooming away, leaving her coughing slightly in the fumes from the engine. She turned around, just in time to see Thor and Jane in an embrace. Thor looked a hot mess - he was coated in dirt and blood and lying helplessly on the floor.
"Ah, thanks for all the support, Christie!" he grumbled as he slowly sat himself up with the help of Jane.
"My apologies, guys," Christie replied quietly. She turned around and kicked large amounts of gravel up from the ground bashfully.
"Hey! I thought you were meant to be good at saving the world," Thor frowned, touching his lip tenderly to see blood stain his fingertips.
"The world? I can barely save the people I love, why the hell would you think I could to save the world?" was her only short response, staring into the cloudy sky with a squint of her eyes.
"It wasn't in your job description to save the people you love, Christie," Thor reminded her lowly as he finally stood to his feet.
"Speaking of!" Christie quickly turned back around to face him so suddenly that her white hair almost slapped him in his face. "My job is actually over so-"
"You're leaving Asgard," Thor finished for her, his eyes twinkling slightly. "Yes, me too." Jane blushed and could barely keep the happiness from her face, whilst Christie simply raised both her eyebrows in unexpected wonder.
"You're going to save your world…from afar," she broke it down slowly, carefully pronouncing each word. "How…noble. And you think your father will let you do that?"
"My father does not own me," Thor shrugged, a reminder of his young wild self flickering in his eyes. "What could he possibly say?"
…
Asgard was awfully quiet when they arrived. Most citizens were still afraid to come out of their homes, so they just stayed indoors, unsure of what or who was waiting for them outside. The Asgardian Royal Builders were tirelessly working on the state of the palace halls and the damaged columns. "Annerledes!" came Jennie's pants as she sped toward her best friend through the thick dust and the leftover debris.
"Hello you," Christie breathed, engulfing her in a huge hug.
They squeezed each other as if they couldn't bear to let go.
"I heard all about Loki," Jennie began tentatively, her eyes watering slightly. "I am so sorry, it must have been awful to see him go like that." Christie clenched her jaw and nodded quickly.
Change the subject, change the subject, change the subject.
"Yeah, it wasn't…pleasant. But thank you - how has everything been up here?" Jennie sighed shortly and shrugged, finally letting go of her.
"It's not been great! The complaints have been ridiculous and they're flooding in non stop, but at least I have you back now to lessen the load." Christie's stomach began to churn awkwardly. She completely forgot about that.
"Yeah…about that," she started quietly. "I'm actually going back, Jen. S.H.I.E.L.D needs me back home and my mission up here is done now that the only threat we were facing has been neutralised, so-" Jennie freely let the tears fall then, almost as if she had seen this coming.
"No, please - I need you," she whispered, tears rolling into her mouth and her nose already beginning to run.
"Come with me then," Christie hissed back, trying to stay calm. "Come with me and see Ren and Delilah, just like the old times? It'll be the same us, just in a…new location." Jennie's dark eyes stared at Christie blankly for a few seconds before she stubbornly shook her head.
"No, I can't. Frigga left me this job, I have to complete it," she mumbled, wiping her eyes harshly. "You can go ahead. Forget about it." Her voice was edging on a tone that Christie didn't take kindly to.
"I don't know what you want me to do! I don't belong here anymore," she pointed out in irritation.
"I know," Jennie grunted, quickly dropping eye contact. "I know you don't. Loki was the be and end all of your entire life, right?" Christie jerked her head back then, turning away from her. Her attitude was sour. "How…how long are you going for?"
"Well it's my home," Christie replied shortly. If Jennie was giving attitude, she better be ready to take it back. "So…as long as I want. I may come back up for a visit but I may not, it depends on what Thor-"
"Thor?"
"Yes. Thor's leaving too." Now Jennie looked queasy as she took a shaky seat in the soft chair next to her, the cushions making a gentle 'poof' noise once her body slammed into it.
"My goodness. How the hell are we going to cope? It's not even like we'll have Loki to assist us somehow and Odin's not going to make it much longer - by his own grace…what are we to do? Asgard is going to crumble and burst into flames without anyone here," she whispered, her eyes unfocussed and her hands beginning to tremble with nerves.
Christie diverted her eyeline from Jennie's and pretended not to have heard her, just so she didn't have to face the guilt of leaving her in ruins.
"Y-you'll…find a way," she began weakly.
"Oh shut the hell up! You don't even care, do you?" Jennie sniffed, heaving herself up again so that she was face to face with Christie once more.
"Of course I care, Jen-"
"Hard to believe - Agent Darmer."
This made Christie freeze. It was the first time that Jennie had ever called her by her official name in Asgard. It made her feel like she had already been completely disregarded by her friend, and it hurt her so badly that she spun on her heel and stormed out of the room without so much as a goodbye.
And Jennie just watched her leave, tears spilling out of her eyes - half wanting to stop her and apologise, but letting her go regardless.
…
Thor was waiting for Christie outside of the Throne Room, leaning against the wall and murmuring something to himself whilst playing with his fingers. He glanced up when she came out as if to say 'and how did that go?'
"Please - don't ask," Christie mumbled before he could.
"Fine, I won't," Thor held up his hands. "Would you…like to go in first?" There was an awkward silence as they just stood there, staring at each other.
"Oh fine," Christie finally broke the tension, bursting through those grand heavy doors to see Odin lounging on the throne. His one working eye focussed on the assassin as she slipped in quietly, almost silently floating across the floor.
"Annerledes," Odin's husky voice sliced through the silence. "I was wondering when you would show up again."
"Sir," Christie began, taking a deep, calming breath. His presence alone always sent chills down her spine. "I think you know why I'm here."
"I can only guess, my child."
"…right. It's been an amazing year here and I honestly appreciate all you've done for me-"
"Annerledes, stop," Odin cut her off shortly. Christie closed her mouth and nodded, obediently waiting for Odin to continue. He took a deep but sharp breath of his own through his nose. "If there is anyone to thank, it's you."
"No," Christie muttered in horror. "Ohhhh no no no-"
This is what she was dreading – she didn't want to be praised for what she did in Asgard, or made out to be some kind of hero, because she still believed that she didn't do very well at all. Frigga dead and Loki dead too, technically she couldn't have done a worse job. "For what my mission was, sir, this wasn't a good result. I- I failed it. And I let everyone down - again." Odin looked at her in what appeared to be pity.
That was strange.
"No, child. What you did will always be remembered in this place. You gave my son hope," he told her firmly.
"Your son gave himself that hope. I had nothing to do with how Loki ended up, believe me," came Christie's timid reply, now looking away from his intense eye contact.
"Loki couldn't have changed for the better without you – and I will forever be thankful for that. You and Loki had briefly become a good match – the power couple that the whole of Asgard admired. But Loki would never have been the man that he ended up without your love, or compassion. You cared for him almost as much as Frigga and that's what he needed. That, is what I could not give him." Christie felt a warm tear trickle down her face and she wiped it away angrily, not in the mood to release anymore tears for the rest of life.
"Thank you, sir," was her only reply, her bottom lip quivering slightly – so much so that she bit down on it, hard, in an attempt to prevent the tears from gushing out yet again. "Your son…uh…he m-meant a lot to me. Obviously, as you know…I could only give him the justice he deserved, and that was your approval. He would be so happy with what you just said and I honestly loved-…" Christie left it there, not bothering to even try to finish that particular sentence.
She just wasn't ready to admit it.
"Just…thank you for what you've done. I'll be sure to visit." Odin gave a small nod and Christie turned around to leave, her silver eyes focussing on the decorative floor beneath her feet to keep herself together.
"Annerledes?" Odin suddenly called out, making Christie spin back around.
"Yes, sir?"
"Despite his mistakes and his flaws, Loki loved you. I imagine he would desperately want you to know that." These were the words that made Christie frown to herself. She had no idea what it was because she couldn't pin it, but something here just did not click. Why would Odin ever say that? In all the time she knew this man, he never once said anything about what Loki would want anyone to know - but before she could ask him to clarify what he meant, Thor strode in, having overheard that the conversation coming to a close from outside. He stood face to face with his father and Christie took this as the perfect time to leave.
"I'll wait for you outside," she whispered quickly as she practically flew out of the hall. Her mind was racing like crazy, trying to figure out what was wrong, what was different about Odin and why she couldn't put her finger on what the issue was…but no matter how hard she focussed, she could not do it.
Interrupting her thoughts came Odin's loud voice as he said his final words to Thor,
"One son wanted the throne too much and the other not at all – is this my legacy?"
Suddenly, there came that dreaded piercing white noise in Christie's mind. It took over as if she was trying to connect herself to something, anything, as if the final piece of the puzzle should come to pass if she focussed hard enough. But in her mind, the piercing couldn't be anything relevant. Loki died - she saw him die. He died in her arms. How would he connect to her now?
"Annerledes, are you ready?" Thor's words sliced through her thoughts as he swept out of the room to meet her there. His red cloak was billowing behind him, which drew Christie's blurred vision to focus on him and him only.
"Yes," she managed to choke out, now wanting nothing more than to get out of this place.
So Thor took her arm and they walked out of the palace and down the Bifrost together, leaving all memories of Asgard behind…just as Odin transformed into his true form, and Christie's one true love –
Loki Laufeyson.
…
So! 45 chapters, some tears, cute moments and angst later, we've finally come to an end. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for everyone who took the time out to read this, it means so much, honestly. But it's important that you also know…this isn't the end! This story is just one in a series I'm working on.
If you check out my account you'll see I just published the first chapter of my newest fanfic 'Naturesque: A Fall of Freedom', which is Christie's mutant sister Ashley's story of joining the Avengers. Christie will be back on another mission within a few weeks (I wonder what other villainous guy she'll be told to watch…hm…let's think about that one), and her story will run alongside Ashley's before they intertwine!
So, this is technically the first part of a long series. If you're interested in seeing Christie again - stay tuned. She'll be back sooner than you think!
x
