"These are dark times." Cartman had gathered them all in the Coon Lair after school. "We now know for a fact that Scrambles is part of a larger conspiracy. We also know that the fucking Freedom Pals have more information about this conspiracy than we do. Fuck."

"Maybe we should just face it, guys," Clyde said. "Maybe Freedom Pals have a better super-franchise than we do." He made a sad buzzing sound.

Cartman slapped his hands down on the table. "That's no way to talk, Mosquito! The only reason the Freedom Pals are ahead of us right now is because they're buttfucking traitors who sold out!"

"Yeah, but Freedom Pals have Doctor Timothy," Scott said. "He can read people's minds and bend reality."

"Yeah! 'Cause he just said that! When we made up our superpowers he was like, 'well I have every power to do fucking everything.' You think that's fair?! They even got Brooke to join them and she's a fucking monster princess! It's time for us to be as dirty as them! We have to know what the Freedom Pals know."

"H-How?" Jimmy asked.

"We send a spy," he replied. "Someone from our group who pretends to want to switch sides and join the Freedom Pals. Someone they wouldn't suspect to be bullshitting…"

They all turned to Darren.

"Of course it's me…" he sighed.

"But you'll never get past the security grid," Scott said. "They change it every day-"

"I can get him inside," Butters interrupted. "I've got hacking abilities, remember? 'Cause I'm a gadgeteer class with the tinkering ability."

"No dice, Chaos," Cartman pointed at him. "You're just trying to get out of jail."

"He has a point, though," Kyle said. "You'd better let him go. Darren might need him."

"All right, fine." He pretended to press buttons on the side of the kennel, making beeping sounds before unlocking and opening it. "Get him inside the Freedom Pals base." Cartman went over to Darren. "If he tries anything funny, kill him."

"Uhhhh, I promised Riley that Butters wouldn't get hurt."

"What are you doing making promises with the enemy? Ah, just get going already."

Butters joined Darren and headed upstairs to leave the house. "All right, you ready to go deceive Freedom Pals with me?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"'Kay, come on. I gotta get my minions first." He went next door to his own house. "I should probably text Riley, too, and tell him that I'm okay."

"Yeah, he asked me to make sure they went easy on you," Darren told him.

"Aw." Butters lightly kicked at the snow. "Shucks. Uh, o-okay, come on!" He led Darren inside and up the stairs. "You're about to enter the chamber of Chaos, Butthole. Uh, I haven't cleaned up for a while so watch where you're stepping."

From that, Darren had expected his room to be a mess, like Darren's little sister's room, but Butters' room was actually rather tidy and cute. He particularly liked the cute poster of two panda bears and the many, colored drawings hung up on the wall beside the closet. The only mess he could see was the pile of scattered drawings on the little table in the corner and several crayons.

"My minions!" Butters exclaimed happily at the little hamsters in the cage. "Hey little buddies, you ready to go hack some control panels? All right, let's get to Freedom Pals base and-"

"BUTTERS!"

Butters screamed and dropped the hamster he was holding; it darted under the dresser. Butters' father had appeared in the doorway.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MISTER?!"

"Oh, hey, Dad, I bu-budda, I just – I just been hanging out with my friend, a-and uh-"

"YOU DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT, BUTTERS! YOUR MOM AND I WERE WORRIED SICK! WE COULD BARELY ENJOY THE MOVIE WE WERE WATCHING!"

"I'm sorry, Dad. I just – my friend and j-j-j-jus-"

"Sorry's not gonna cut it, mister! And you! What's your name?!"

"Oh, uh, my name's Butthole. Or ButtLord." He shrugged. "Whichever."

"That does it! BUTTERS, you are GROUNDED, and so is your smartass little friend!"

"Wait, I was-" Mr. Stotch had already slammed the door. "Oh…"

Butters sighed and sat down. "And so, Professor Chaos was locked away forever in maximum security… My dad installed a new lock on the door, see. With that new electric lock, there's no way I can even think about getting outta here, young man!"

"Well, shit!"

Butters pulled a harmonica out from under his bed and began to play it. "Looks like I'm grounded…I'm grounded again…Gonna shrivel up and die here…along with my friend…mmmmm, I'm grounded."

"Don't I at least get a phone call?!" Darren shouted. "Come on! You didn't even read me my rights!" He sighed and plopped down on the floor. "Man, I've never been grounded before. What do you do when you're grounded?"

"Well, I learned how to play the harmonica."

"And it's very impressive, but I don't want to do that."

"I got a banjo in the closet."

Darren sighed again and looked up at the little electrical box above the door. "Can't you hack it?"

"I use my minions to hack control panels," Butters told him. "Uh, b-but I don't have a way to get them up that high."

"…Butters. I have an idea."

"Really? What is it?"

Darren reached under the dresser and felt around for the little hamster, carefully grabbing it and pulling it out. He brought the animal over to Butters and handed it to him. "Butters. I need you to shove that hamster up my ass."

"Oh… OH! Uh, w-why?"

He pointed at the box. "I'm gonna launch him at the fuse box thing."

"Jeez, I dunno… Well, all right, but be careful with him." Butters complied and shoved the little rodent inside of Darren.

Mr. Squirrel watched, with a horrified, bewildered, and disgusted expression as Darren bent over with his butt facing towards the little box up on the wall. Darren shut his eyes, his gut making a strange sound, then shot the poor animal right at the box. The hamster hit the box, instinctually biting onto the wires, and squealed as it was electrocuted, and short-circuited the box, unlocking the door.

"Are you kiddin' me? You couldn't just THROW it?"

Butters stared, stunned, for a moment before he cheered, "Whoopie! Boy howdy, Butthole! Why, your butt can do all kinds of cool stuff!"

They hurried down the stairs, encountering Mr. Stotch downstairs in the living room. He looked absolutely astounded.

"But…But that's impossible! I grounded you! How could you be HERE right now?!"

"It – It wasn't me, Dad, it was him!"

"Gee, thanks, Butters," Darren leered at him.

Mr. Stotch blinked at Darren. "You…have some kind of ability to UNGROUND people? Your evil magic is not welcome here, darkling! RAWRR!"

"AH!" Darren ran out of the way and jumped behind the sofa. "Did you just try to PUNCH ME!?"

"Tough love, kid. I'm doing you a favor."

"WHAT?! THAT'S CHILD ABUSE!"

"Oh, I'll show you abuse!"

"What, no!" He scrambled over the couch and dove beneath the coffee table as Mr. Stotch came at him again.

"Ouch! Look what you did, mister! You made me punch my own sofa! I could've broken my hand!"

"That's YOUR FAULT!"

"Don't you talk back to me, boy!"

"Butters!"

Butters winced. "Uh, b-b-budda, I-I, uh!"

Darren ran over to the door, stopping and turning to face Mr. Stotch as he followed, then ducked out of the way of another swing just as the front door opened. Mr. Stotch missed Darren, and he would've hit the door if it hadn't opened; instead, he punched someone else right in the side of their head.

"FUCK!"

"RILEY!" Mr. Stotch scolded. "Did you just say a swear word!?"

"Yes!" The boy held his head and glared up at him. "Because you just fucking PUNCHED ME!"

"I –" He looked surprised by Riley's retaliation, then suddenly looked horrified over something. "Oh my gosh… Riley! I've become no better than YOUR father!"

Riley rubbed at his head. "Whatever. I've felt worse."

"Oh no!" Mr. Stotch looked like he was about to lose his mind. He placed his hands on his head. "This can't be happening! I – There's only one solution! I have to ground MYSELF!" He ran up the stairs and they heard a door slam shut.

"Idiot." Riley stepped inside, still rubbing at his head a little.

"R-Riley!" Butters ran over to him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Your dad's an idiot."

"Uh, sorry," Darren said. "I guess that was kind of my fault."

Riley shrugged. "Like I said, I've felt worse."

"…Oh. Uh, so, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I figured Butters would be in trouble for last night. I figured he'd get grounded, but I didn't expect to walk in and find Mr. Stotch trying to deck you in the face only to hit me instead."

"Uh, sorry."

"Whatever," he shrugged again and started fixing his sweater sleeve. "What are you guys doing today?"

"We're going to infiltrate the Freedom Pals base," Butters told him. "Wanna come?"

"Sure."

"Oh boy! Okay, let's get going to the Freedom Pals School for the Gifted and Talented."

"Where is that?" Darren asked.

"It's literally Token's house," Riley replied.

"So, how's Jake?" Darren asked Riley as they followed Butters outside.

"Oh, uh, he's okay. He's lost weight, though… At least he can eat more solid food again."

"Well, that's good. Yeah, he looked pretty thin, but other than that and a bit of a coughing fit, he seemed okay."

"Mm. Well, he's always been good at hiding things, so…"

"Oh…"

"I was going to check on Butters then go back and stay with Jake today, but Lucy kicked me out so she could do some tests or something."

"How's her research going?" Butters asked. "Has she found a way to cure his cancer?"

"No, but she's very determined over it. She's at least been able to stabilize it for the most part, so the spreading has slowed tremendously. Not sure what she did, though. She mentioned something about special herbs from the Nether, but she also said that a lot of them died off or are rare now because of the wars with those Nightmare things. Charles and Lamar started looking into it, too."

"Really?" Darren was surprised. "That's nice of them."

The three of them made their way to the northeastern side of town and all the way to Dark Meadows. Darren glared at the security guard as they passed him, remembering the time the man had pepper sprayed him in the face. The guard glared back, pointing two fingers at his eyes then at Darren. Darren turned, walking backwards, and threw his arms up at him before turning back around to follow Riley and Butters to the large house.

Inside, they found the door to the basement. It had a large eagle-shaped insignia on it with the words 'Freedom Pals' across it and a sign below it that said 'BASE'. There was some kind of electrical lock on the door as well.

"Ha," Butters said. "They think they can stop Professor Chaos with a terminal thingy? I can hack anything!" He pulled a little hamster out of his pocket and held it up to the box. "Go on little fella."

The hamster sniffed at the wires, its natural instinct to chew kicking in. It chewed at the wires for a few seconds before they sparked a little, shocking the hamster. The hamster squeaked with surprise and ran down Butters' arm while the box short-circuited and the door opened with a click.

The Freedom Pals base was much larger and more impressive than the Coon Lair. It was well-lit with models of planets and spacecrafts hanging from the ceiling. There was an actual television screen for a monitor on part of the wall and two computer monitors in opposite corners on desks, while the other wall was decorated to resemble the view of a city at night. There was a large, round table with several chairs around it, the tabletop decorated with a large star and the Freedom Pals initials 'FP'. Off to one side was a wall of boxes with a curtain that read 'Training Room' on a sign above it. On the opposite side of the room was another curtained area that's purpose was unknown.

"Gee whiz, would you look at this," Butters exclaimed. "Wow, now this is a superhero base! Holy smokes, they got a training room and computers and lights. Well, this beats the crap outta Coon's base, huh, guys?"

"I've never even seen Coon's base," Riley told him. Unlike Butters and Darren, he didn't appear impressed or surprised by any of the stuff around them.

"What are you doing here?!"

Butters screamed at the sudden gruff voice and they turned to see Mysterion and Token. "Oh, hey, uh…" Butters glanced nervously around as Stan, Sniper, and Tweek fell in behind him and Riley and Darren. "Hey, Mysterion… We were just hoping to speak with Doctor Timothy."

"Why?!" Tweek snapped.

Butters jumped. "WOAGH! Butthole wants to switch franchises, and I told him I'd help!"

"Hey, Butthole," Stan said. "Thought you might end up here."

"Uh, h-hi?"

Mysterion moved to stand in front of the curtains of the mystery side. "They're here to SPY on what Timothy is working on."

Tweek joined him. "I say we rip 'em to shreds!"

"No one touches Riley," Sniper barked aggressively at them. "That boy is under Master's protection!"

"Calm down everyone," a voice echoed from behind the curtains. "Let's hear what they have to say." They stepped aside as Timmy rolled his wheelchair out from the curtains. "This is a fairly shocking change of heart for you, Professor. You really wish to help him switch franchises?"

"Well, YEAH. Y-You know – We just thought that – Y-Your franchise seems a lot more open and progressive and –"

Timmy held his finger to his temple and leaned forward.

Butters panicked. "Agh! You know we just – thought he should switch because Coon and Friends kind of isn't going anywhere."

Timmy narrowed his eyes.

"OH GOD! See, Butthole came to me and said, 'How do I quit Coon and Friends?' And since I hate Coon and Friends, I decided to help him out!" He was talking faster.

"You get anything?" Tweek asked.

"The aluminum foil on his helmet seems to be blocking my abilities," Timmy admitted. He looked at Riley. "And what about you, Discord?"

"Huh?" Riley seemed to have been distracted by something. "Oh, uh, honestly, I have no idea what we're doing here. I just came because Butters asked me to and Lucy kicked me out of the house."

"I see."

"Don't trust them, Doc," Mysterion said. "They can't see what you've been working on back there."

"What if he really wants to switch?" Stan defended.

"I really do, actually," Darren said.

"We can see if his intentions are pure," Timmy told them. "We're sending Tupperware on a very important mission today. You can help him with that mission."

"I don't need backup," Token said. "Especially not a newb."

"Easy, Tup. Remember the Freedom Pals motto."

"Yeah… Retribution, but with inclusion."

"I'll send you the details of the mission. When you get there, you can start. In the meantime, I must get back to my work." He wheeled back behind the curtains and Mysterion stepped in front of them to keep the new arrivals out.

Darren glanced around the room and looked to see what Riley was staring at. There was a red, feathery heap on the floor in the dark corner of the room. They moved closer to get a better look. Brooke was laying on the floor, her back to the wall, and her large wings cupped around her like a protective shell so that her whole body was hidden within them. At least, they were pretty sure it was Brooke in there.

"Is that Brooke?" Darren asked. "What is she doing?"

"Get away from her!" Mysterion snapped.

Darren yelped and jumped away from the heap, but Riley turned on Mysterion and snapped back. "Shut up! She's my adoptive sister!"

He looked a tad surprised, went to say something else, but thought better of it and only watched silently as Riley moved closer to Brooke.

He carefully grabbed the bony alula of the top wing and gently forced the wings open. Brooke's eyes opened a little and she stared at him for a quiet moment before fully opening her wings and sitting up.

"Mm, Riley," she said sleepily and rubbed her eye. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came with Butters. You haven't been home in like five days! What are you doing?"

"I've been busy," she replied. She thoroughly rubbed her eyes then let out a yawn as she stretched her arms up and threw her wings out, almost hitting Darren. "Hm?" She looked at him as he yelped and ducked. "Oh, you're here, too."

Darren had fallen over on the floor in his attempt to dodge the big wings. "You haven't been home in five days?! What the heck, Brooke?! Have you just been sleeping here?"

"No." She folded her left wing around and started pruning her feathers with her fingers. "I haven't actually slept in a while…"

"What the hell, man. You're taking this too seriously."

She didn't respond, only shot him a quick glance before continuing to clean her feathers.

"Good," Tweek said. "You're awake. It's almost time for that counseling appointment today."

"Yeah." She stood up and stretched again. "Okay. Let's go. Darren, Tweek said that you're coming, too?"

"Oh, yeah. Craig said I have to."

She huffed with amusement then walked over to Mysterion, stopping very close to him. She wrapped a wing around him, pulling him even closer, and whispered something in his ear that none of the others could hear. Whatever it was, it made his face turn red and he audibly cleared his throat as she stepped away.

"Er, r-right, well then…" He smirked a little. "Okay."

She chuckled and made her way to the stairs. "Sniper, stay."

The dog promptly plopped his rear down and watched her leave. Butters and Riley also remained while Darren and Tweek followed after her.

"What did you say to him?" Darren asked curiously as they left the basement.

"That's classified information, Butthole." She smirked.

"You were flirting, weren't you?"

"Pfft, no!" She made a face and started walking a little faster.

"Uh-huh."

He had noticed lately that she and Kenny had become more intimate since the Blood Ball. At first, it only seemed like Kenny was the one acting that way while Brooke merely ignored or tolerated it. But then Darren began to notice that she had started to act in a similar fashion towards Kenny. Often times moving to stand or sit against each other, even more so than they used to, or even grabbing each other's hands or wrists. It was like they had to be as close as possible to each other at the most random times. Sometimes he even noticed them talking softly or whispering things to each other that made the other smile or blush. Apparently playing as their superhero personas did not omit this behavior. Now, he thought, it was just a matter of time before they finally decided to admit it.

"So, Brooke," Darren asked as they neared the school. "You've just been walking around in public with your wings out and letting everyone else use magic. Are you not worried about it anymore?"

"It's still very much against the rules, but not really, no. I've even ordered the Guards to ignore it all, too. There's much more important stuff going on right now, so they don't need to bother wasting time going around erasing people's memories. Besides, from what I've learned about this town, much weirder stuff has happened."

"What's going on right now?"

"Don't worry about it."

They entered the school and made their way to the gymnasium where they found Mr. Mackey waiting with Craig. "Hey, kids. Come on over and take a seat."

Tweek sat in the chair as far away from Craig as possible. Brooke sat beside him, while Darren sat between her and Craig.

"Okay," Mr. Mackey said. "Apparently, we're having a little quarrel, mkay. Craig and Tweek have agreed to some counseling as long as you two are present, mkay. So, uh, now, Craig, what do you want to say to Tweek?"

Tweek folded his arms and refused to look at Craig. "I think he has some stuff he should say to me," Craig said.

"Mkay, mkay. Tweek, you want to start, maybe?"

"I have nothing to say if that's his attitude!"

"Mkay. Mkay, well, maybe, uh, Darren, maybe you should share some of your thoughts?"

"Uhhh…" Darren looked frightened to have been put on the spot.

"Mmmmkay… Well, this isn't really going that well. Brooke? Do you maybe have anything to say?"

"I have a lot of things to say," she told him.

"Well, okay, good! Um, what are your thoughts?"

"My thoughts are that they're both idiots."

Everyone flinched and looked at her.

"Mmmkay… Well, that's not really –"

"They need to learn that having a relationship with somebody takes patience, time, and effort. From BOTH sides."

"Oh! W-Well, yes, continue."

"It's not a 'meet me half there' or fifty-fifty thing. It takes one-hundred percent effort and care from both people involved. Both sides need to make sacrifices and exceptions for the other. They need to listen and understand each other's needs and wants. If they don't understand, then they need to take the time to figure it out, TOGETHER. It's okay to argue or to get mad sometimes. It happens with everybody. Friends, family, and lovers. But you can't just sit around hating each other for it if you actually do care about each other. Sure, sometimes you need to be alone for a little bit to calm down and think, but then you need to work it out together." She glanced at Craig. "You're supposed to support the other person, especially when they're unhappy or need help." She glanced at Tweek. "And you're supposed to explain, understand, and decide and work together before taking actions that would effect both of you." She folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. "Idiots."

"I…couldn't have put it better myself," Mr. Mackey said. He, along with the others, was staring at her with surprise.

"Another thing," she sat up straight again. "You two only started dating because it's what others expected, right?"

"H-How do you know that?" Craig asked.

"The whole town wanted it, so you decided to go along with it so they would leave you alone. So, do you actually like each other in that way, or what?"

Darren looked confused.

"I –" Craig stopped himself and looked away, thinking.

"I know Tweek does," she said.

"He does?"

Tweek squeaked nervously.

"I can read souls, remember? Souls react a certain way when you encounter or think about someone you love."

"I can second that," Darren added quietly.

"When he talks about you," she continued to Craig, "it flares up. Of course, a soul also flares up when they're angry, but it's not hard to pick out the difference when he's telling me about you. It's obvious when he's angrily complaining verses when he's bragging or swooning."

"S-Stop!" Tweek yelped.

"I know the two of you have never actually talked about it."

Tweek hopped down from his chair as if he was going to leave, but was blocked by Craig moving in front of him.

"Hold on," Craig said. "She's right. We never really did talk about it. So…do you…?"

"Do you?"

He looked down at his feet and shrugged. "I mean…yeah, kinda."

Tweek whimpered and shifted his feet. "Y-You do?!"

He shrugged again, looking embarrassed. "…Yeah."

"Craig…"

They stared at each other for a moment before Tweek suddenly grabbed the front of Craig's coat and pulled him closer to plant a hard kiss on his lips. Initially surprised, Craig soon joined in, turning his head to more comfortably fit their mouths together as he wrapped his arms tightly around him.

"Whoa," Darren said. "There's, uh…some serious tension there."

"N-Now boys," Mr. Mackey said. "Maybe – Maybe not on school grounds, mkay? …Boys? Mmmkay, well, uh, maybe we should, uh, give them some alone time?"

Brooke had her hands pressed together and held up to her mouth, looking quite surprised and as if she was trying to hold back a grin. Some of the feathers on her wings stood up from the surprise but she soon flattened them as she took in a deep breath through her nose.

The two boys finally released each other, breathing heavily. "Holy shit, Tweek."

He blushed and laughed a little, then nuzzled his face into Craig's neck.

"That…was beautiful, boys," Mr. Mackey said. "Uh, but maybe next time, don't make out on school grounds, mkay? We have a strict no PDA policy here, mkay. Now, do you feel better?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Me too," Tweek agreed.

"Well okay, great! Come back anytime if you need more counseling, and, uh, great work, Brooke. I should start having you attend more of my counseling sessions, mkay."

She shrugged. "I'm used to helping people resolve problems and disputes. Monsters never need relationship advice though…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Uh, Tweek, don't you have to meet up with Tupperware at the senior center?"

"Oh, yeah, I do! Come on, Butthole. That's where the mission Timothy gave us is at!" He made to hurry away, stopped and came back, kissed Craig on the cheek, then hurried off again.

"What the heck are we doing at the senior center?" Darren got up to follow then stopped to say something to Brooke. "You know, that was pretty good advice. You should follow some of it."

She stared at him with an unreadable expression before looking away. "I know."

.

"You're here," Token said as Darren and Tweek approached. "All right. This is a very important mission. Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Uh, maybe?"

"Well, come on," Tweek said. They entered the building and went over to a nurse. "We're here for the community service."

"Oh, wonderful!" She clapped her hands to get the seniors' attention. "Everyone! Some of the local children are here to sing for us!" The elders sounded rather displeased.

Tweek gave Darren a triangle and the three of them walked up onto the little stage set at the back of the room. Tweek and Token began to sing while Darren stood there very confused. "I love to play my triangle my triangle goes –" They stared at Darren.

He blinked, looked down at the instrument, then dinged it once.

"When I am sad I love to hear my triangle go –"

…*ding*

"It cheers me up…"

*ding*…*ding*

"And makes me smile –"

"You suck!" One of the elders called.

"We're sorry folks," Token said. "This kid's new."

Tweek took the triangle and gave Darren a little mandolin in its place.

"I love to play my mandolin my mandolin goes –"

Darren ran his fingers once across the strings.

"When I am sad I love to hear my mandolin go -"

Another strum.

"It cheers me up -"

Two strums.

"And makes me smile -"

Strum.

"Get off the stage!" someone yelled from the crowd.

They took the mandolin and replaced it with some kind of horn.

"IIIII love to play my flugelhorn my flugelhorn goes –"

Darren stared blankly at the instrument. They repeated the line. He blinked then shoved the mouthpiece into his butt and farted, causing it to play a note.

"When I am sad I love to hear my flugelhorn go -"

He did it again.

"Aw, that's disgusting!"

"HEY! That's the farting vigilante from the news!"

"Huh?" Darren said.

"That's the kid goin' around takin' out all the drugs in town!"

"The vigilante wants to take our Percocet!"

"What?! Huh?"

"Ahhgh!" Tweek flinched. "So many pissed off old people!"

"I used to be a nun, bitches," one old lady said. She reached under her shirt and pulled something out that she tossed at Darren.

"Aw, gross! Is that a fucking colostomy bag?!"

"We gotta get out of here!" Token said. "Make for the exit! Quick!"

"Time to chill out!" Tweek rose from the floor a bit, a chilly air surrounding him. He blew a cold wind from his mouth that formed icicles and slammed down around the seniors to block them in an icy cage. "Let's go!"

"That was fucking awesome!" Darren shouted as they ran for it.

They met Mysterion outside a little way down the street and explained to him what had happened. He fiddled with something on his wrist. "Doc, it's Mysterion. We had some trouble but the mission is complete."

"Nice work, everyone," Timmy's voice echoed. "Butthole, congratulations. You're officially a member of the Freedom Pals. You can join us on our mission tonight to the police station."

"We've ascertained that the police are being paid off by whoever's running crime in the city," Mysterion explained. "Angel and Sniper have also reported a strange surge of energy coming from somewhere deep inside of the station."

"That's right. We believe we'll find the answers to what's going on there. Welcome to the team, friend." Timmy hung up the call.

"We'll see you tonight," Mysterion told Darren.

"Okay, but when, and how, did you get a smartwatch?"

"It's…not mine."

"Oh, okay. And speaking of Angel…" he smirked. "What did she whisper to you earlier before we left?"

"T-That's none of your business!" His voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. "Er, anyways, Lucy will also be accompanying us tonight."

"Lucy's playing?"

"No. She's only coming because of the strange energy Angel reported. They think it's some Nether shit going on."

"Oh, great," Darren rolled his eyes. "Crooked cops AND Nether shit? What a Wednesday night."

.

Darren left his house, doing his best to avoid all of the crazy drunken adults running around as he made his way to the police station. There was trash littered about everywhere and toilet paper thrown over several houses.

"Clocking in right on time," Stan said as Darren approached.

"All right, Freedom Pals," Mysterion said. "Here's the plan. Once we get inside the police station, Toolshed and Butthole will set off a diversion and – Wait a minute… What the fuck?!"

"Yeah, come on guys. Huh, we gotta get inside the police station." Cartman was leading the Coon Friends over.

"What are you assholes doing here?"

"We're here to investigate a hot lead regarding the South Park police."

"What?!" He shot Darren a look.

Darren threw his hands up. "I honestly didn't tell them shit! You can ask Lucy! She knows I'm not lying!"

"Traitor," Cartman muttered darkly.

"Hey," Darren pointed. "Fuck you! If I knew there was another option from the start, I would've taken it!"

"Excuse me," Lucy interrupted. "But did you just refer to Darren as, 'Butthole'?"

"Don't bother, Lucy," Brooke told her.

"Get lost before there's a fight," Token told the Coon Friends.

"Come now," Cartman said. "Shouldn't we, just this once, put our petty differences aside and work together?"

"We don't have time to argue…" Brooke growled.

"Right," he said. "So, what's the plan, Mysterion?"

"I…think some of us should cause a diversion. Make the cops head towards it so the rest of us can sneak in without the cops noticing."

"Good idea. Coon Friends will go up the fire escape and cause the diversion so Freedom Pals can sneak in the front."

"This is all pretty coincidental," Stan said. "Did you guys just steal our lead again?"

"Innocent people are being arrested, Toolshed. That's all that matters to us. It should be all that matters to you. Okay, Coon Friends up the fire escape. Come on, guys!"

"Stand by," Mysterion told the others as the Coon Friends left. "We gotta wait for the diversion. Come take a look at this." They all joined him to look through the windows.

Three officers were snorting cocaine on one of the desks. "Aw, this is some strong shit."

"Does this coke seem a little off to you?"

"Nah, nah, this is great. You guys wanna call some hookers?"

There was a loud noise above them. "What the fuck was that?!"

"Come on! And bring the coke!"

"All right," Mysterion moved towards the doors. "The coast is clear!" He paused briefly beside Lucy; she was staring oddly at him. "What?"

"I've just remembered the drawing Karen showed me. It makes sense now." She made a gesture with her hand towards the door. "Please, after you, Guardian Angel."

He grunted and kept going. Brooke exchanged a mischievous smirk with Lucy before they followed.

The kids made their way through the messy station and into a backroom leading to a flight of stairs with a sign reading 'Authorized Personnel Only'. Sergeant Yates met them there. "That's enough," he said. "Just stand down, kid! Look, I know why you're here."

"You do?" Darren asked.

"You're fed up because you think all cops do is harass black people."

"Uh?"

"I know that to a young kid it can seem like cops are racist and bigoted, but you can't believe what the media tells you. Cops are just people. Like you, your friends, your family. People who work hard to –"

"SPOOOK!" A cop had walked down the stairs behind him and shot at Token. Luckily, the bullet missed and flew past the boy's arm.

"Ah! Tupperware!" Tweek said.

Lucy squeaked. "Oh dear!"

"Damnit, Levinskky! Get your ass upstairs!"

"Sir!"

"And turn on the alarm!" The two officers ascended the stairs.

"That fucking asshole shot at me!"

"Oh, fuck! Brooke!" Darren shouted.

The bullet had missed Token but shot Brooke's right wing, getting lodged into it. The boys and Lucy looked startled, but Brooke merely looked a little surprised. She blinked at Darren. "What?"

"WHAT?! There's a fucking BULLET in your wing!"

She glanced at the bleeding wound, "Oh, that," then reached over and pulled the bullet out. She tossed the bullet onto the floor then licked the blood from her fingers. "Whatever."

"Didn't that hurt?!" Tweek yelped.

She shrugged. "I mean, yeah, but it's fine."

"Dude," Darren said. "My mom always said that girls have a higher pain tolerance than boys, but what the fuck! You just got fucking SHOT!"

"Yeah," she said and walked past him towards the stairs. "That's why I'm about to go beat the shit out of that cop and let Sniper eat his toes." The dog had already bolted up the stairs.

"Uh, a-are you sure you're okay?" Mysterion asked as they followed her.

"Don't worry about it. I'm a Wechuge. That pussy-ass wound will heal up in like twenty minutes."

"Language…" Lucy muttered.

"I really wish I didn't come here," Riley said behind her.

They all made their way up the stairs and found Sniper sniffing at a pair of double doors marked 'Holding Cells'. The dog looked back at them, then stepped out of the way for them to push the doors open. Each cell was crammed full of adult black people, most of which looked very confused or distraught.

"Token!"

"Dad! What the fuck are you doing here? Mom!"

Darren spotted a button on the other wall and made to press it, but four riot officers burst into the room just before he could. "They're trying to free the criminals!" One of the officers whacked Darren with a baton.

"Ouch! Asshole!"

"Stand back!" Mysterion jumped between the other kids and the cops. "This is MY time!" He pulled his cape over himself then threw it aside, producing a very large bomb with a lit fuse.

"Is that a fucking bomb?" Riley said.

Mysterion shut his eyes as the bomb exploded, blowing out his chest and destroying the officers' riot shields and armor as it knocked them against the walls and painted them with the boy's blood. Mysterion lay in a bloody heap with his ribs broken and exposed before a horde of rats ran over to devour the corpse. Everyone stared, shocked.

"What the FUCK?!" Brooke shouted loudly, causing some of them to jump. "DID HE SERIOUSLY JUST FUCKING DO THAT?! I'M GONNA FUCKING KICK HIS STUPID ASS FOR THAT BULLSHIT!"

Riley looked like he was about to faint before he caught himself on the wall. "Oh fuck."

"FUCKING IDIOT!"

"Oh dear…" Lucy was too startled by Brooke's reaction to even think about scolding her for her language. "It was…unnecessary…"

Sniper ran past the unconscious cops and over to the button and jumped up to hit it with his front paws. A buzzer sounded and the doors unlocked and slid open.

"We're innocent, so breaking out of jail isn't a crime, right?" someone asked.

"I'm not sticking around to find out."

"I smell a class-action lawsuit," Token's father said. "Supreme Court here we come."

"Token," his mother said. "What did I tell you about playing too rough? You could've gotten hurt."

"But Tupperware can't get hurt. He's impervious to pain."

"Is he impervious to getting his butt spanked?"

"…No…"

"That's right." His parents turned to leave.

Brooke angrily and silently led the way further upstairs and into another room where they found Sergeant Yates sitting at a desk waiting for them. Scrambles the cat was on his desk, strapped into a strange little holster.

"You know what a cop is, kids? A cop is a slave. It's the politicians who are the real bigots. That mayor has been sitting in her office telling us we have to change our ways. The only way to have her removed was to raise crime in the streets. And now cops are able to do things the old way again. Don't you see this is better for everyone?" He shoved his face into the cat's rear and pulled its tail, causing it to spray him in the face.

"Ew," Lucy made a face.

The Coon Friends had caught up with them and Cartman shoved his way to the front. "Holy shit, that's Scrambles!"

Sergeants Yates went over to a strange locked door. "You know, we actually do have one white guy." He flipped a switch on the wall and the door behind the kids slammed shut. "I'm sorry kids, but you left me no choice." He flipped another switch then went to pick up the cat.

The odd door opened and a strange man stepped out. "Hey, kids. Want some candy?"

"Oh fuck," Cartman said. "It's Jared."

"You'll excuse me if I don't want to watch this." Yates took the cat and entered an elevator.

Jared made strange kissy sounds at the kids. "There sure are a lot of you. Let's see how you deal with my aides." Two men in suits came out to join him.

"Oh crap," Kyle said. "Jared has aides!"

Lucy stepped back into the corner of the room, looking the most confused she had ever been. Brooke blinked then glared so hard at the men that they could almost feel the heat from her hatred. "Sniper," she said and the dog began to growl. She pointed directly at Jared. "Tear his fucking dick off."

He screamed as the dog bolted for him. One of the aides tried to stop the dog, but Sniper barreled him over with the force of a truck and leapt on his target. Brooke raised her left hand and large skeletal arms burst from the floor to grab the two aides then pulled them below the floor where they vanished. Everyone turned away, except Brooke, as Sniper attacked Jared. They could only hear screaming and the vicious snarling of the dog as well as some violent tearing sounds. After a minute that felt like ten, the noises ceased and they looked up to see Sniper stepping out from Jared's cell. There was a trail of blood leading into it, which they assumed led to Jared somewhere in there.

"Good dog," Brooke patted his head. "Now, let's find that cop who shot me and see what that weird familiar energy is coming from down below."

They all piled into the elevator together, Sniper jumping up onto his hindlegs to hit an unmarked button. The elevator ride down lasted about a minute or so before it stopped and released them into a strange hallway filled with human bones and skulls along the walls. There was a big gate at the end of the hall, decorated with a large golden skull emblem and leading to a flight of cracked stone stairs that went further down. Everyone looked frightened, except for Brooke, Lucy, and Sniper. Lucy only looked mildly disturbed, more curious than anything, while Sniper had no visible outward reaction just like his master who led the way to the gate. The boys nervously followed them through the gates and down the stone stairs into a large cavern where they found Sergeant Yates and several other officers dressed in reddish-brown robes.

"Ia! Ia!" Yates chanted with his hands in the air. "Shub-Niggurath! Black goat of the woods."

There was a massive bloody pit in the ground with stone steps hovering above it where the officers had lined up several black adults.

"Blessed be us, your faithful servants," Yates continued. "The destroyers of light. Ia, Ia! Shub-Niggurath. Black Goat of One Thousand Morbid Young. Bring down the moon and extinguish the sun… All right, let him go."

"NOO!"

The officers pushed one of the black men into the pit and a crunching sound was heard from within. "Uhh, sir…" one of the officers said.

"Huh?" Yates turned to see the children. "Oh, I see. I guess because cops feed African Americans to an Elder God, they're racist."

"Did…you say Shub-Niggurath?" Brooke asked.

"Shub-Niggurath is an Outer God, kids, who must be appeased and who's coming was foretold by the great H.P. Lovecraft. But I suppose H.P. Lovecraft was a racist, too!" An officer whispered something to Yates. "Oh, fuck. Was he really? Like – Like how racist? Really, really?"

"No!" Brooke stamped her foot. "Shub-Niggurath is my stupid fucking aunt on my mother's side who got kicked out of the Nether for her bullshit!"

"What?"

"Yo, it's my homeboys!" Classi called from the line of sacrifices. "Get me the fuck up outta here, these niggas completely cray!"

"All right, throw another one in!"

"Aw, fucking hell no!" Classi elbowed the officer trying to wrestle her and knocked him into the pit.

"No," Yates yelled. "The All-Mother can't stand white meat!"

A huge reddish-purple mass of tentacles, sharp-toothed mouths, spikes, and glowing yellow eyes burst from the pit with a furious roar.

"No!" Brooke pointed at it. "It's YOUR fault Mom kicked you out! You kept trying to break the barrier between the Nether and this world so you could eat black people!"

It roared again.

"No, YOU shut up!"

"Is that seriously your aunt?!" Mysterion asked.

Brooke suddenly turned to him, looking surprised. "…YOU!"

"Huh?! AGH!"

She grabbed him by the part of his cloak that wrapped around his neck and, in one quick motion, lifted him from the ground, over her head, and threw him directly into one of the gaping maws of the monster. Shub-Niggurath choked, blood spurting from her body, then let out another furious roar at them as she slammed down spiked tentacles at them. "Mom was too nice to you and Uncle because you're her siblings! She should've destroyed you assholes the first time!" Brooke turned to the other kids. "Throw those fucking cops into her stupid ugly face!"

"Uh, okay!" Darren shouted back. He and the other boys scrambled to avoid the flailing tentacles as they wrestled with the grown men.

"Of all of the possibilities," Lucy said as she ducked behind a large stalagmite to avoid getting hit. "It just HAD to be HER."

"Not for long," Brooke growled menacingly. She summoned her scythe into her hands, flapped her wings once, took to the air, and slashed a large tentacle as it swung at her.

The monster screeched as the limb was severed and fell to the cavern floor with an echoing crash, spurting blood over the wall. Her roars became strangled and choked as her mouths were being stuffed with the bodies of the officers, and blood began to spray from her body. Finally, the horrific mass retreated back into the pit. There was a rumbling, then, suddenly, and eruption of blood and human bones burst upward from the pit, hitting the ceiling of the cavern, then falling down upon everyone like violent rain.

"AGAIN!" Darren shouted. "I'm covered in something else's blood, AGAIN!"

"Most of that is probably human blood," Brooke told him, suddenly very calm.

"Oh, well that's just fucking DANDY!"

"I'd like to go home now," Riley said.

Lucy stepped out from behind the stalagmite. She appeared to be the only one without a single drop of blood on her. "Yes, let's get you home and cleaned up. The rest of you, too." She sighed. "Well, that's taken care of."

"Is it…bad that we just killed Brooke's aunt?" Kyle asked.

"It's fine," Brooke said. "Everyone hated her anyway."

"We did it, Coon Friends!" Scott picked up the raggedy cat. "We got Scrambles!"

"Scrambles?" Mysterion had returned, apparently in time to get splattered with blood.

Brooke leered at him from the corner.

"I can't believe ya'll little niggas did it," Classi said. "I feel like I'm finally safe in this shithole town. Thank ya'll!"

"You're welcome," Stan said. "Who are you?"

"Oh my God you guys," Cartman said. "We've got a HUNDRED BUCKS to get our franchise off the ground! Fucking Coon and Friends, FUCK YEAH!" They ran out of the cavern.

The others followed, stopping them outside of the police station. "Whoa, whoa, wait!" Mysterion said. "Where are you taking that cat?"

Cartman turned to him. "Oh, uh, sorry Freedom Pals. There's certain info we can't tell, it's classified."

"That's because we've been tricked!" Timmy appeared behind them.

"Aw, fuck…"

"They followed OUR lead to the police station and now intend to get a hundred-dollar reward for that missing cat."

"Well," Jimmy said. "All is fair in love and war, F-F-Freedom Pussies."

Cartman laughed. "I love when you call them Freedom Pussies."

"You assholes," Stan said. "We're the one's who stopped the police chief's evil plan! We deserve that hundred-dollar reward!"

"Fuck all of you," Brooke muttered.

"PRINCESS!" Lucy snapped.

"Come and get it!" Cartman snapped at Stan.

"We WILL!" Token stomped his foot.

"Bring it!"

"Shut the FUCK UP!" Brooke yelled and a massive wave of blue fire burst from her feet in all directions, knocking them all over, even Lucy and Sniper. She looked furious and frightening, her red eyes glowering a bit and her canines sharpening into fangs.

"Oh dear!" Lucy gasped. "Princess, you have to calm down!" Sniper whimpered.

She growled, clenching her fists tightly, then seemed to relax a bit and settled down. The glowing from her eyes faded and the fire dispersed. She was breathing deeply and looked confused for a moment. "I –"

Sniper ran over to her and shoved his wet nose into her hand.

"I'm…fine," she mumbled.

"You assholes," Mysterion said to the Coon Friends. "Doctor Timothy has been working on a way to save us ALL! Freedom Pals AND Coon Friends! He was never your enemy. He was trying to help us ALL."

"But how?" Kyle asked.

"…Well show you," Token said. "Come to our base."

"Nah, I'm going home," Riley said. "I'm tired, I'm covered in blood, and I want a sandwich." He started to walk away.

"We will accompany you," Lucy told him. She gently grabbed Brooke's hand and led her away, stopping briefly to explain to the others. "The Princess is too worked up right now and has used a bit too much of her magic. …She needs to rest before she loses herself again. Sniper, come." The dog followed.

The rest of the kids went to Token's house and down into the basement. Token pressed the button on a remote and the curtains to the mystery side of the room slid open to reveal a poster labeled with three phases of franchise movies and series.

"Oh my god," Kyle said. "He figured it out."

"It was his passion," Mysterion told them. "He worked tirelessly on it."

"A franchise plan that involved everyone," Token said. "Each hero got their own movie and TV series. Every hero mathematically equal to the other."

"So," Kyle said. "While we were out trying to stick it to you guys…Timmy was actually trying to include us."

"And you wanted that cat all to yourselves."

"Not anymore. If we've proved anything tonight, it's that we all work best together."

"It's too late for that," Tweek said.

"Come on, guys. No more civil war. Let's get the reward money and use it together for one whole franchise."

The others shared their agreement.

"But," Cartman said. "We're calling it Freedom Pals?"

They turned to him. "Freedom Pals," Token said.

"And like, Timmy is sort of the leader of Freedom Pals? He's like – He's like the one in charge?"

"Yes," Mysterion said.

"Well…I think it's awesome. Freedom Pals… Freedom Pals. I am super cool with this."

"Then it's settled," Stan said. "We get the reward money for Scrambles and use it to kickstart one whole Franchise."

They gathered together. "Retribution – but with inclusion!"

To be continued…

Mm, lots of weird lol. First, I decided to make the relationship counseling between Tweek and Craig more, eh, serious? In the game, you just beat up a bunch of kids and Tweek and Craig do some weird gay shit. Love it. Also, yes, Brooke did, in fact, angrily throw Kenny/Mysterion into the gaping maw of a giant evil monster. She's a bit irritable lately and the reason (which is also the reason she hasn't slept) will be revealed soon. She's been busy having to fight her own battles behind the scenes and still doesn't have control over her powers. Lucy and Sniper know, but the others don't... Yet.