"I am very sorry, Louisa," Martin said into his computer screen after he explained that his week in London for work had been shifted by not one, but two more weeks. Louisa frowned back at him, and she gave him a small shrug.
"Martin, I would like nothing more for you to be able to join James and me here in London, and I know you are doing all that you can to do that. I hate your training has been moved, but I know there is nothing you can do about it."
"No, nothing," he shook his head as he looked to the computer. He was sitting at the dinner table, talking to Louisa now that he'd just finished eating. He had not yet cleared his plate, but he was okay with that when she'd called him. James was getting ready to be put down for a couple hours, was content-at least for the moment, and Louisa was trying to catch him before she herself got a shower and ready for bed. Martin sighed.
"Leave it to Dr. Tulle to break his leg," Martin groaned. "I am just glad they can set me up sooner rather than later. It would be even worse if I had to wait until he was completely back on his feet."
"Agree, Martin, yes," Louisa nodded and yawned. She covered her mouth, "Sorry, Martin. I'm still a bit tired."
Martin tilted his head, "I should think so. You gave birth now 10 days ago, Louisa. It's to be expected. Now," he nodded to her, "how is James? He doesn't look jaundice anymore. Is his coloring looking better?"
"Yes, much better," she smiled. Louisa had been instructed to watch James for jaundice and had even had to take him to the pediatrician twice since he had been home. Martin had called the pediatrician the first time when he'd been in London after getting Louisa and James home from the hospital. He'd called just before coming back to Portwenn, concerned about the jaundice. He and the pediatrician had given Louisa instructions about getting James into the sunlight and watching him. James had still looked yellow a couple days later, and Martin, concerned as he was, had encouraged Louisa to get James to see the pediatrician. Now, 10 days later, he was looking much better.
"He's such a good boy," Martin," Louisa beamed as she held him closer to the computer screen for Martin to see him. "Yes, his coloring is much better. I didn't notice it as much like you did, but now that he's back to a normal coloring, I do see what you meant. He was yellow. He's being spoiled by Joan. Ruth even came by around lunchtime today with food. Your aunts do love him," she smiled warmly.
"Good, yes," he nodded. "James, I hope you are being a good boy," Martin said in a very businesslike tone, one that had Louisa chuckle slightly. He watched as she slightly jiggled James and patted him in her arms.
"You said he's sleeping rather well?" Martin asked.
Louisa nodded as she yawned again, "Yes, honestly, Martin, he's already into this three-hour sleep schedule. It's almost like clockwork."
"Yes, good," Martin nodded. "I expect that you are not holding him the entire time he sleeps all day?" Louisa looked a little guilty, and Martin continued, gesturing from his chair, "Louisa, he needs to be put down when he sleeps. You will spoil him, and he needs to learn coping mechanisms."
"Martin, honestly," Louisa sighed and rolled her eyes. "He's a newborn. He's not going to be ruined for life by holding him. Besides," she dropped her voice and darted her eyes to James, "I am not always holding him."
He grunted and looked to her and to James before he commented, "Please tell Auntie Joan she cannot hold him constantly too. I know that was your play on words there, trying to convince me you weren't holding him because if you aren't, she is."
"Martin, "she rolled her eyes. The two were quiet several moments while they both looked on at their newborn son. Martin leaned in closer, as if that would allow him to almost climb through his computer screen. His attention was broken with a knock at his door.
"Ahh, I'll be back. Someone is at the door," he told her. Martin stood and walked briskly over to his door, flinging it open.
"Yes?" Martin asked, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows. He found Ms. Newton staring back at him. Martin refrained from scowling, but he also didn't give off any expression.
"Hello, Martin," she smiled warmly. "I wanted to drop this off with you. I made a coconut cake, and I thought you would enjoy it. It's my grandmother's recipe." She offered him the cake, and he opened his mouth to reject it, but he also knew that would mean a longer conversation. Instead, he snapped his mouth closed and took the platter.
"Ahh," he stammered, and she jumped in, touching his arm.
"It's not a platter I need returned. You can just bin it; it's just a plastic tray type. Oh," she glanced in and saw his dinner plates, "perfect timing. You just ate."
Martin looked to the cake, over to his plate, and he was silently thankful his computer screen was facing the other way. He looked back to her, realizing she'd said something, and he'd missed it.
"What?" Martin asked again, and she jumped back slightly at his gruffness.
"Oh, I was just commenting that I hope you enjoy the cake, ahh, alone here this evening."
"Yes," he said with a nod. "Good evening. I do have to get back to my err, evening," he said, his ears turning red. At that, he stepped back and closed the door, putting the cake on the counter. He saw Ms. Newton move by his window, and he sighed as he took his seat to finish his evening chat with Louisa.
"Was that the new head?" Louisa asked, James now on her shoulder. It looked like she was burping him, and Martin almost had a smile seeing Louisa as such a wonderful mother with James.
"Ahh, yes," he frowned. Louisa chuckled, and Martin titled his head at her. "What's funny?"
"She does like you. It sounded like she brought you a cake? I could hear some of the conversation."
"Yes, yes," he stammered, now red again. Louisa chuckled, and he got flustered, "She keeps stopping by."
"Hmm, now you recognize a lady flirting with you when she stops by in the evening. Hmm, Martin, what do these heads see in you?" Louisa smiled brightly, and Martin rubbed his thumb over the bridge of his nose.
"All of this keeps happening because I cannot tell them about us!" Martin exclaimed, shaking his head. "This is utterly ridiculous, Louisa. With this change for my training, I won't see you or James for another couple weeks. He will be almost a month old."
"I am sorry, Martin, and I do appreciate you doing this for me, for us," she said, glancing to him. "I was trying to find a way to tell you this, but I have a compromise of sorts."
"Yes?" Martin asked, and Louisa shifted James on her shoulder.
"I've decided to take off this first term," she told him. "You were right, at least about it being a lot to get back on my feet. I mean, I'm very glad Joan is here, and I'll be fine when she does go back home, which I suppose we do need to discuss since she was going to go back with you," she said, biting her lip. "Another conversation," she waved her hand and gestured, trying to get back to this conversation. "Anyway, I know you would prefer I don't work at all. You've told me that many times, and I do want to work, but I have decided that with you not here right now, well," she said with a firm nod, "I am going to take the first term. Income is not a major issue-"
"I make plenty of money, Louisa," Martin jumped in.
"Yes, yes, I know," Louisa sighed and rolled her eyes. "I've just been independent and had my own money. I'm not really used to this idea of sharing things, sharing everything," she told him. "I'm well aware other mums go right back to work, and well, I'm torn. I do miss my students, but it's been a rather short summer with having James. I mean, before he was born, it was the summer that wouldn't end. He wasn't exactly anxious to be born, but now that he's hear, I can't bear the thought of going back in just a couple short weeks now to start the fall preparations. So, I knew you would be happy that I am going to stay home for a bit. It will also give him time to get bigger and time for us to decide on childcare."
Martin jumped right in again, "I can do an extensive search for a proper nanny," Martin told her. "As a child, before boarding school, I spent the entirety of each day with a nanny."
"Yes, yes," she sighed. "I don't want a nanny, Martin, at least not one like that. I want to be his mum."
"You are his mother," Martin said, stating the obvious.
"Martin, how much time did you spend with your mother and father when you had that nanny?" Louisa asked.
"I didn't," he said quickly as if was a silly question. "The nanny took care of my needs."
"Right, and that's not what I want for James," Louisa said quickly. "I don't want a full-time nanny, and I don't want boarding school. Martin, I don't want to argue about this. I was perfectly capable of raising him on my own, and now that we've married, I don't want you to make all of the decisions. He's our son, and I'd like him to be with us. Now, I am willing to discuss childcare, but nothing that takes him to live somewhere else or has someone else raising him. I hope you will accept that my staying home for this fall term is me compromising."
"Yes," he said and frowned. Martin had much to say on this topic, but he hated to get into an argument now. He did believe boarding school provided a wonderful education, and he had done just fine with it. He found that he was daydreaming and had not said more. Martin looked back to the screen, and he nodded, "Ahh, yes, good. I mean, it's good you will be home."
"That's it?" Louisa asked.
Martin sighed and gestured with his hand, "Louisa, I don't know what you would like me to say. If I say that I was right when I found you in London and you told me you were pregnant-that I was right you wouldn't want to go back to work, well, you'll insist on doing just that for some feminist point-scoring. Yes, I am glad you will be home for a bit with James Henry. He needs his mother."
"Yes, well, I will be back for the winter term. I told them that already," she nodded to him. "Do you think you will be in a new job by then?"
Martin frowned and looked to the table. He sighed, and when he glanced up, Louisa was there, awaiting an answer.
"I hope to be, yes," he told her with a nod.
"How did things go with Chris this morning?" Louisa asked, suddenly remembering. "He was going to work with you."
"Err, ahh," he sighed and looked away again. He looked down as he answered, "I was able to observe two surgeries in Truro, and well, not well."
She frowned, "Did you get sick?"
"Yes," he admitted and looked away again. He glanced back to her, "I'm working on it. It will get better."
"Both surgeries?" Louisa asked, and when Martin glanced to her, his eyes told her what she needed to know. "Oh, dear, Martin. You're still getting sick all the time, aren't you? Martin, how are you going to get back to surgery if you couldn't get through either surgery this morning?"
"Louisa, just let me fix things," he said, now rather irritated. He saw that his tone startled James slightly, and Martin winched at that. She frowned, and he did too.
"I suppose I should go," she told Martin. "I need to feed him before I put him down."
"Right, right," he nodded, blushing slightly. For being a doctor, he was skittish around the topic of breastfeeding and the overall postpartum recovery of his own wife. "Ahh, that," he gestured.
Louisa frowned as she shifted James, "It's rather sore all the time," Louisa said, picking up on Martin's evasive question. "Quite honestly, I feel like a farm animal, just here to feed James at his every demand. It's rather exhausting."
"It's very good for James, for his development," Martin encouraged with a nod. "It will also help you with your pregnancy weight gain."
"Thank you, Martin," she said through gritted teeth. "Just what I needed, another reminder of my weight."
"Your weight is fine, I mean," he nodded, "will be if you stay off those chocolate digestives. I can guess Auntie Joan is making biscuits for you. If you want your weight to return to normal, Louisa, stay away from the sugars."
"And what if my weight never returns to normal, hmm?" Louisa asked him, giving him a look. "Will that be offensive to you, Martin?"
"What?" Martin asked, looking horrified. "I don't understand."
"All I'm saying, Martin, is that a baby changes a person, a woman," she said, now almost tearful. "Nothing looks the same. I'm feeding him day in and day out. I don't know my own body. I have this roll of fat," she said, gripping her middle, "and knowing my age and all, it won't just go away. I've decided to stay home this fall, and I can only think that I'm becoming one of those fat, ugly mums."
"Louisa," he frowned, not sure what to do about this outburst. He was not good at consoling Louisa; that much, Martin knew. "You staying home this fall does not make you like the fat mothers."
She looked at him, huffed, and rolled her eyes, "I'm just saying, Martin, that yes, I love James, but it's hard to realize that things, at least my body won't ever be the same. I mean, we haven't discussed this," she shook her head and glanced to him with fresh tears in her eyes, "and who am I kidding? We rarely get to discuss anything because you are there, and I'm here. Even when you are here, we've had major events-a wedding, moving, your job, James coming-it's not like we have had anything normal for a newly married couple these last few months, but we've never discussed well," she looked up and huffed before looking him in the eye, "intimacy, Martin, I mean, after James."
Martin paused a moment, trying to figure out what Louisa was saying. He gave her a perplexed look, "Ahh, Louisa, I am sure your doctor explained that women can resume normal activities after four to six weeks postpartum."
"Yes, Martin," she sighed again and shook her head. "Maybe this isn't a good time to discuss."
"I'm not sure what we are discussing. Did you just have questions about what you can do? You will be cleared for normal exercise and such."
"No, Martin!" Louisa exclaimed, and both noticed James jump slightly at that. She frowned and settled him before looking to Martin, who was completely baffled.
"I'm aware I can resume ALL THINGS," she enunciated as she spoke to him. "I suppose what has been bothering me and what I really don't want to discuss but must is about you."
"Me?" Martin asked, taken aback. Louisa gestured with her free hand.
"Will you find me attractive, Martin? I just told you that I'm rather revolting. You've only been with me now pregnant."
"Ahh, no," he shook his head. "You were not pregnant back in Portwenn."
"Right," she rolled her eyes, "but with both of us knowing where babies come from, Martin, I did get pregnant in Portwenn, most likely right off. Besides, that was, as we know, almost a year ago now, and as I said, I've changed. James has changed me. I just don't-"
"Louisa," Martin said as he frowned. He looked to her and turned slightly red in the face, "I am trying very hard to not muck up what I say because in the past, you didn't want to hear about dental hygiene or about odors-"
"No, I did not, Martin, and I certainly do not want a medical lecture now when I'm here as a wife, basically begging my husband might find something still remotely attractive about me-"
"Louisa, blood makes me vomit, still," he stated, and Louisa gave him a look like that was the dumbest thing she could tell him. He continued, ignoring the look. "You will never make me vomit." He nodded, satisfied and possibly happy with his response. Louisa waited to see if he had more.
"Right, Martin," she said and sighed. "I better feed James."
"Louisa," Martin said again, noting that she seemed unsatisfied with his answer, "I'm mucking this up again."
"Yes, you are," she nodded. "Although, I suppose I should be grateful that my husband won't vomit at the sight of me."
He sighed again and shook his head, "I should be very glad to see you, see you both," he added. "Louisa, I never expected to marry, to have a son-" he told her.
"Sorry to bog you down, Martin," she cut in.
"No," he jumped in again, "I'm simply trying to say-"
"I love you too, Martin," Louisa finally finished the thought, and he sighed, happy she'd put into words what he couldn't.
"Yes," he nodded.
She gave him a small smile, "I'd best go. We can talk more tomorrow and maybe discuss this further, I mean, I don't need you to further explain how the sight of me won't make you vomit."
"I promise you won't," he added, and with that, Louisa rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile and wave before she logged off.