A/N: Forgive me for the general lack of action in this chapter, but sometimes we need a transition chapter that just shows every day life, right? I hope you still enjoy.
It was the day before the full moon, and Remus was exhausted as he tried to finish off his Herbology essay so he could turn it in early. His handwriting had devolved to an almost illegible scrawl, but he had completed the 8-inch requirement and was just putting the finishing touches on his conclusion, so despite the heaviness in his eyelids, he was feeling accomplished.
He was afraid of what the January moon would bring, and was preparing his schoolwork as best he could in anticipation. The nights were long and cold, and he was still plagued by the letter his father sent Dumbledore at the start of term, though he had not yet confronted the issue. Nor, indeed, had he written his parents at all, which was rather unusual for him.
He wanted - almost needed - to believe that his father was wrong about his friends. Surely these boys, these people he had bonded with so completely, could be trusted. They were children, yes, but they understood the weight of what they carried, right?
He wanted to believe this, but then James and Sirius let their immaturity, their subtle tolerance for a degree of cruelty, shine through by playing pranks on Severus Snape that left the boy without an essay in Potions the other day. Remus had been so upset when he realized what they'd done - messing with a student's academic progress was a serious transgression - he'd actually found it in himself to tell his bold friends off, not a small feat. But as always they talked him round with what seemed like logical explanations at the time.
"Come on, Lupin, we made sure Slughorn saw he'd turned the essay in. We could have just caught him in the corridor before class."
"Really Lupin, we chose Potions, which is his best subject. So he'll have to rewrite an essay that he already had worked out in that twisted brain of his. A hand cramp seems a fitting punishment for what he did to your quill."
Their arguments were somewhat logical, but certainly the action was not right or kind, and Remus realized this. It sometimes shook him that his friends thought this way - for all their acceptance of his condition, they looked upon someone like Snape, who was simply a boy, not a Dark creature, with a single-minded hatred that was unnerving.
Remus didn't know why their treatment of Snape specifically bothered him so - they treated the other Slytherins similarly, and that never set his heart off the same way. And he was not so ignorant of the ways of the world that he thought the treatment the other Slytherins offered Sirius was normal or acceptable. But being on the receiving end of abuse was not a blank slate to commit abuse in return. What was self-preservation, and what was taking things too far?
He wondered if it was because Severus was a friend of Lily Evans - Lily, who always seemed so kind in her attempts to speak with him, to be a friend to him. If Lily Evans found good in Severus Snape, it must be there. The boy struggled socially - it was obvious he did not fit in with his Slytherin counterparts, though more and more rumors were flying that he was impressing the older students with his magical prowess - which irritated James and Sirius to no end.
Then again, Remus had watched Snape be nasty and vindictive. He had used curses no first or second year should know, with the clear intent of harming James and Sirius, and if gossip was to be believed, he'd targeted others as well. He let himself be egged on by the likes of Mulciber and Rosier, who clearly used him for his skill, of which they had little in comparison. He let himself get wrapped up in a conflict he may have avoided - for James and Sirius did not target every Slytherin, only those who provoked them. Remus had seen this, and knew Snape was not blameless in how he'd become a target, but still, as it was often two against one, Remus felt there was a level of injustice to the whole situation. At one point did a rivalry push forward into bullying? And if that was what was happening, did he have the backbone to stop any of it?
Remus had come to school with the intent of interacting with as few people as possible for seven years, with the intent of staying under the radar so he might complete an education that would give him a chance as an adult werewolf alone in the world.
Instead he was far from alone, with a chance at a small sliver of happiness. Would he give that up - would he choose what was fundamentally the right thing over what was the right thing for him?
It's easy to judge those who watch what they know to be wrong to unfold without intervention. But what is a reasonable standard to hold for a child? A teenager? And what adult would never make mistakes that they would look back on in their life and wish they had not done, or done differently?
These heavy-hearted thoughts rumbled through Remus' mind as he tried to finish his essay, and it was later than he thought when he finally finished and began to pack up.
"Oi, Lupin?" A voice called through the stacks as he was in this process. The voice was far too loud for a library and prompted an irritated shushing from the librarian, but it made Remus smile.
"Why aren't you at practice?" Remus asked Sirius as the other boy's shining black hair appeared around a corner.
"McLaggen finally acknowledged it was just too bloody cold to practice an airborne sport when Flanagan dropped his bat because his gloves froze in the clouds. Despite the warming charm McLaggen's bird tried to cast. I don't think she's particularly clever though - that could have been the true issue." Sirius grinned. "Potter stuck around to discuss possible cold-weather strategies, but I opted for a nice warm shower. Petey said you'd be here finishing that essay up. How'd it go?"
As always, Remus was touched that Sirius had thought to come searching for him, and that rush of affection led him to forget his moral quandary. "I'm all set, actually. I was just about to head back to the dormitory."
"Brilliant! Let's take a detour to the one-eyed witch statue. I swear there's something hiding out there, but I haven't been able to crack it."
Tired and aching as he was, Remus couldn't resist a chance to investigate a potential addition to their growing map, and found himself agreeing despite the protests of his body. But halfway there, he felt himself slowing to a pace just a level faster than a crawl, and realized he should have listened to that body and returned promptly to the Common Room. He found himself breathing just a little bit harder than he should, his legs feeling just a little bit heavier than they should be, his head just a little bit warmer than usual.
"Lupin, what's the holdup?" Sirius called from over his shoulder, the bigger boy being several steps ahead of Remus on the latest staircase. Comprehension dawned on his face before Remus had to respond, however. "Why didn't you mention you were knackered?"
Sirius took the steps two at a time back down and grabbed Remus' school bag, slinging it over his own shoulder.
"I didn't realize how tired I was," Remus admitted, grateful that his friend reacted the way he did. "But we're nearly there - we might as well continue the journey!" He did not want to be perceived as weak, or boring, particularly with Sirius, who needed constant activity to keep his attentions focused on productive endeavors instead of warring with Slytherins.
Of course, as soon as he had the thought, one of those very Slytherins appeared around the corner. Remus felt his stomach flop. He was tired and certainly not in the mood to watch Sirius attempt to duel.
"Avery," Sirius said, standing up a bit straighter and puffing out his chest. Remus had noticed his friend had the tendency to posture in front of the older Slytherins a bit more than he did with the younger. He wondered if these actions were a small betrayal of his anxieties and insecurities surrounding any such encounter. Of course, Remus wasn't about to bring it up, but it only made him love Sirius more knowing the brash boy might have the same kind of feelings he himself harbored when confronted by an uncomfortable situation.
The other boy's face split into an unpleasant grin. "A blood traitor and a halfblood. My lucky day!"
Sirius rolled his eyes, but Remus saw his hand slip into his belt for his wand. "Why do they always say things like that, Lupin?" He asked. "When it's clearly his unlucky day to run into me. Tarantallegra!"
The spell missed, but it gave Remus a chance to scramble up to Sirius and pull his own wand from his bag.
"Two against one doesn't seem very fair," the Slytherin said, faking a pout. "Why don't you take me on man-to-man, Black?"
Sirius grinned, though Remus smelled a trap. "I'd love to! Take a step back, won't you Remy?"
"At a time like this, you have the nerve to call me names?" Remus said, the words coming out so naturally he didn't realize he was making a quip until the sentence was complete.
Sirius let out a surprised chuckle that transformed into a growl when Avery shot a spell that Remus missed the incantation for.
"Rigescunt indutae!" Sirius called, but again he missed, having the disadvantage of the lower ground. In response, he grunted and dropped Remus' bag.
Then the two boys were dueling in earnest and Remus was just trying to stay out of the way of a stray spell. Sirius was uncommonly talented for his age, but Avery was older and above average talent himself, despite what Sirius and James would like to believe.
Remus watched with great concern as his friend dipped, twisted and even dove to avoid spells, or met them with his wand. It was sloppy, a duel between two teenage boys, but there was something impressive about it nonetheless, and Remus was hesitant to step in.
So absorbed in the spectacle of the situation, Remus wasn't aware of what he was seeing until it was too late. Avery, throwing away the honor that was expected in a one-on-one duel, turned his wand on the sandy-haired boy. Remus gulped as a flash of red light exploded from the tip of it. Madam Pomfrey was going to be very upset with him.
/
James arrived back at the dormitory a bit later than expected- McLaggen had been in a receptive mood and had considered his young chaser's strategy suggestions with open ears.
"Black's not back yet?" He asked Peter as he entered, looking around and finding the room devoid of his friend's shaggy head.
"He went to meet up with Remus at the library," Peter told him. "He mentioned possibly checking out the one-eyed witch statue." The smallest of the four boys was staring intently at his chessboard. James knew Peter's mind was analyzing scenarios he himself could never understand as he started at the game, and he respected that, but had little interest in discussing board games that night. "They should be back soon."
James nodded. "I'm going to hop in the shower." It had been so cold on the Quidditch pitch James had decided against showering in the locker rooms, saving himself a walk through the drafty castle with wet hair.
Fifteen minutes later he emerged wrapped in a fluffy red towel, but Sirius and Remus were still missing. James frowned as he stared at the clock.
"Black shouldn't be keeping Lupin out so late so close to the full moon," he muttered, mostly to himself, as he used a second, smaller towel to dry his hair.
Peter offered a grunt in agreement, but did not look up from the chessboard.
"I'm going to go collect them," James decided, feeling rather restless having not been able to expend much physical energy due to the shortened practice.
"You might want robes for that. Or at least pants," Peter said, deadpan, still not looking away from the chessboard. The pieces tittered with laughter at James' expense.
"Ha!" James swiftly grabbed a pair of fresh robes and a thick jumper - ancient castles do not hold heat well - and began hunting for socks. He did not ask Peter if he wanted to join him - Peter was perfectly good at inviting himself along, and looked entirely content at the moment.
James whistled as he walked in the direction of the witch statue, happy and carefree. As he rounded a corner, he saw a strange form off in the distance. It was wider than a human should be, but not particularly tall, and it seemed to be dragging along as if limping.
"Holy hippogriffs!" James exclaimed when he realized what he was looking at. One sandy-haired, skinny boy was carrying along a dark-haired, much more filled out teenage form. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.
"What happened?" he asked, rushing up to help Remus support Sirius' weight.
"It was my fault," Remus said miserably. The boy was red-eyed and looked very, very tired. "Avery was aiming for me and Sirius jumped in front of me…"
"What spell did he use? Will Black be okay?" James was kicking himself for staying late at practice - if he'd been with his friends, this wouldn't have happened. At least, in his 12-year-old mind, that's how things would have played out.
"I'm pretty sure it was just a stunning spell," Remus told him, shifting Sirius up against his shoulder now that his burden was somewhat relieved by James. "He's breathing fine and his pulse is normal."
"You checked that?" James said, impressed by Remus' cool thinking under pressure. "Had it been me, I would have just cursed the crap out of Avery and then panicked."
"Oh, I got Avery," Remus said grimly.
James almost dropped Sirius - he had not expected Lupin to say such a thing - nor do such a thing. "You got him?"
"He knocked him unconscious, and at first I didn't know if he was just unconscious or worse!" James realized with a start that Remus was far more upset than he'd been letting on. "I hit him with the slug-vomiting curse, because it's the worst one I know - you're more advanced than I am - then I bound him with that spell we learned in charms and left him in the hallway puking his brains out. May he be left there all night!" He finished hotly.
"Remus, it's okay," James told him, at once impressed and a little horrified. He couldn't hear anything resembling retching in the distance, and wondered just how far Remus had carried Sirius' unconscious form and a bookbag through the castle, after using the energy it would have taken to hex Avery. He was again reminded that Remus, for his soft and gentle nature, was not to be underestimated.
"Uhhh…" Sirius was stirring. He blinked a few times, then looked from James to Remus, still clinging to them for support. "What happened?"
"Bloody Avery," James snapped. "Dirty punk using stunners on second years. Are you all right?"
"I think so…" Sirius said, straightening up. James and Remus cautiously let him go and he stayed upright of his own power.
James let his breath out slowly. "Thank Merlin." When he'd first seen Sirius like that he'd been terrified that Avery had done something unspeakable, but then again, he was no Rodolphus Lestrange.
"Are you okay, Lupin?" Sirius asked, turning to the other boy.
"Of course I'm not okay!" Remus snapped. "What the bloody hell were you thinking jumping in front of me like that?"
"I was thinking the full moon was tomorrow and I didn't want you spending any more time in the hospital wing than you had to," Sirius said with a shrug.
James turned to Remus to gauge the other boy's reaction to this. Remus had repeatedly told the others not to inconvenience themselves on his account, insisting on behaving like a bloody martyr even when it was obvious he was in terrible pain from a recent transformation or exhausted due to an upcoming one. James and Peter had tried to make their efforts to improve Remus' comfort level subtle, but Sirius lacked the ability to do anything without dramatics, and it had been a point of contention ever since the boys discovered the lycanthropy earlier in the year.
As James predicted, Remus turned pink in the face and looked miserable. "I didn't ask you to protect me like that. I don't want anyone hurt on my account. I'm not worth it."
"I disagree," Sirius said. "And I'm sure James would take a stunner for any of us."
James nodded in agreement. "Though I hope we don't have to make a regular habit of it," he said.
"You're both too reckless on my account," Remus said.
"Or just reckless enough," Sirius said with a wink. "Hey - can we take a trip down to the kitchens? Being stunned makes me peckish, apparently."
"But-" Remus started to say.
"Life is full of occupational hazards and risks," Sirius told him. "What's life if you're not taking those risks for your friends once and awhile?"
"But-"
"Lupin, you're going to lose this argument," James chimed in. "And can you really tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing had you been in Black's position?"
"Well…"
"Well you left Avery tied up in the hallway vomiting slugs, much against your personal code of avoiding conflict and the risk of detention," James said quickly. "So that proves my point."
"You cursed Avery?" Sirius said, a grin spreading across his face. "Remus Lupin, hexing Slytherins in the hallway? I'm touched!" He draped one arm around the other boy's shoulder.
"I didn't know what he'd done to you - I did it without thinking."
Sirius laughed. "I'm no worse for wear, just hungry. Come on, let's grab a snack. We can bring Petey some of those cauldron cakes he loves so much."
"Are you sure you don't need the hospital wing?" Remus asked, looking at James uncertainly.
"I feel top notch. Almost like I got a little kip in, actually."
James shrugged at Remus' concerned expression. "If the man says he's fine…"
Much later that night, when Sirius and Peter were snoring, James noticed wandlight peeking through Remus' curtains.
"You should be sleeping!" He told his werewolf friend in a disapproving tone. James already felt guilty about what had happened that night, and the last thing he wanted was Remus haggard and sleep-deprived ahead of his transformation.
"Stupefy and Rennervate," Remus said in reply.
"Come again?"
"The incantations for the stunning spell and the reviving spell," he explained. "It gives off a red light, and works when you hit basically any part of the body, though it will last longer if you hit something vital."
"Mmmhmm," James hummed in reply. He crawled up onto his friend's bed and took away the book - the Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5.
"What are you -"
James closed the book firmly, unconcerned with whether the noise woke the other two boys. "You should be sleeping, Lupin," he repeated.
"I just needed to know," the other boy told him.
"Black is fine," James reassured him. "He ate six cauldron cakes. The boy is a monster."
"He went down so hard, James," Remus said. "He just crumpled, like a doll. Because he was trying to protect me."
Clearly, what James and Sirius had quickly viewed as another schoolyard scuffle had been a more traumatic experience for their friend. James had forgotten, for a moment, just how sensitive Remus could be.
"I'm sure you would have done the same," James said, patting him on the back in an attempt to defuse the situation.
Remus shoved him away. "You don't understand!" He sounded frantic. "I'm a werewolf, James. No one should be taking stunners for me. No one should be putting themselves at risk for me. It's not worth it." He scratched his head far too aggressively and James instinctively grabbed his wrist to prevent scalp damage.
"Bollocks," James said, borrowing one of Sirius' favorite words. "Lupin, you're worth the same amount of care and concern as anyone else."
"But that's just not true!"
James' chest hurt, knowing that his friend truly believed what he was saying. "It is true, and I won't have you contradicting me on this point again, Lupin," he said sharply. "You know, the way you see things isn't always the way others see it. Some of us are quite fond of you."
"You'll wind up disappointed if you put too much faith in me," Remus said.
"I think it's you who's afraid to put too much faith in us," James shot back. Then, inspiration in the form of a mini-monologue struck. "Now, to be fair, I am only 12, so I can see why you might have your doubts, and that's not unreasonable. But the way I see it, if you invest in me now, you'll only see increasing returns as I grow older. And imagine how jealous other people will be when they see you standing with the great James Potter. You'll be able to say - 'we were friends from the beginning!' while others vie for my attention. 'I remember him when,' you'll say, when reporters are writing the story of my life. 'I watched him win the game that jumpstarted his career,' you'll tell them, when I become a Quidditch star. All this is in your future, Lupin, if you just have faith in me now. I won't let you down."
James Potter was always a force to be reckoned with when he was passionate, and in this moment, he was passionate about cheering up his friend. It worked, for Remus shook his head in defeat and smiled.
"You are incorrigible," he told James.
"It's part of my charm," James said, smiling back. He released his friend's wrist at this point, confident he had calmed him for the time being. "Now, go to bed or Pomfrey will no doubt find some way to blame me, despite the fact that we all know Black is the real menace to us all."
Remus yawned loudly. "It's not his fault."
"It absolutely is," James said with a grin, "but that's the way I like it. Don't you?"
/
It was the night of the full moon, and Sirius was lazing around on his bed while James did research on magic related to sleeping, and Peter showered.
"I'm bored," he whined. "Entertain me, Potter."
"Entertain yourself," James told him, "I'm working here."
Sirius huffed and hopped up, looking around the room. "Being good is exhausting."
"But you will be good as long as Remus indisposed," James said in a vaguely threatening tone. "You already caused enough trouble for him yesterday."
"Yeah, yeah," Sirius waved a hand, unconcerned. He glanced around the room, looking for something he could do to occupy himself.
Remus' empty bed was, as was the custom, covered in books, but Sirius had little interest in reading at the moment. He considered grabbing his sketchbook, but that seemed an unsatisfying option as well.
Peter's chessboard sat on his night table, though the pieces were carefully tucked away as to not cause a ruckus. Sirius considered this as well. He had still yet to beat Peter in a game, which left chess an appealing option.
But then he saw it. Draped over Peter's bed were his robes and pajamas - the former tossed carelessly as they'd been stripped off, the latter laid out to change into when he finished his shower. Gleefully, Sirius grabbed the clothing, then began rifling through the rest of Peter's things.
James, noticing the sudden flurry of activity, put his quill behind his ear and looked up. "What in the world are you doing?"
"Hiding all of Petey's clothes," Sirius told him, as if this were a perfectly normal thing to do.
James looked surprised. "Why?"
"Well, I can't prank anyone else right now." He pulled Peter's remaining pajamas, Muggle things and a second set of robes from the bureau. "Do I take the underwear?" He wondered out loud.
James was shaking his head, but laughing. "Petey's going to think you're picking on him."
"He'll forgive me when I enlist him to pull a prank on you," Sirius said.
"Now just a minute - "
"I'm taking the underwear! I'll leave the socks." Sirius announced, grabbing his friend's clothing in a huge heap. He then observed his surroundings carefully.
Did he shove them in a trunk? No - too likely Peter would find them quickly. Throw them out the window? No - too likely Peter would have no way to get them back. Shrink them? No - he still hadn't learned the proper spell for that, it could cause permanent damage. Transfigure them pink? No - too much time for Petey to acquire help to turn them back without having to go anywhere embarrassing.
Inspiration struck, and he quickly made for the door.
"Where in Godric's name are you going with those?" James asked, looking up from his book and crossing his arms.
"I have a great idea," Sirius told him, grinning wickedly.
Before James could respond, he rushed down the stairs to the Common Room.
"Yo, MacDonald!" Sirius found his target sitting by the fire with Lily Evans and Eliza Corsica. "Could you be a dear and help me with something?"
"Black, what are you doing?" James had followed and looked completely perplexed.
"Are those boxer briefs?" Evans asked, wrinkling her nose.
"Indeed. Don't worry, they're not mine," Sirius told her.
"Is that supposed to explain the situation?" Lily asked, turning to Eliza.
"What do you want my help with, Sirius?" Mary asked him in her delicate voice.
"But who do they belong to then?" Eliza asked.
"You shouldn't be running around with other people's underthings," Lily added.
"I just need you to store these for me for a bit," Sirius said, ignoring the other two girls. "In your dormitory, please?"
"Don't touch that pile of clothes, Mary," Lily said quickly. "You don't know where that's been."
"I'll have you know the Hogwarts house elves do an exemplary job in the laundry department," Sirius said.
"They'd be upset to hear you suggest otherwise," James added.
"Come on, Mary, play along won't you? Petey will be done in the shower soon."
"Those are Peter's clothes?!" Lily exclaimed.
"Are you picking on him?" Mary asked.
"Yes, technically," Sirius said. "But I promise, it's all in good fun. When it's over, I'll have him help me prank Potter here."
"Now see here!" James said, stamping a foot. "I don't condone this situation."
"You are such idiots," Lily said.
"Did you leave him anything to wear at all?" Mary asked.
"Socks!" Sirius said gleefully.
Mary turned to James. "Can't you do something?"
"You are vastly overestimating the control I have over this situation," James told her, gesturing to Sirius' entire being.
"Black!"
"Oh bugger!" Sirius said when he heard Kingsley Shacklebolt's voice echo across the common room.
"What are you doing?" The prefect asked, approaching the group of second years.
"I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said, laundry?" Sirius grinned a too-wide grin at the older boy, who frowned down at him.
"Sirius!" A squeaky voice called out indignantly from the direction of the dormitory. Sirius turned and nearly dropped his prize when he saw Peter, his small body mostly covered by a towel, standing at the top of the staircase.
"Black!" the prefect said again.
"Shacklebolt!" Sirius shouted loudly, trying to create a diversion.
"James!" Peter now called on his other friend. James shrugged, looking only slightly contrite.
"Give him his clothes back, Black!" Evans said, her hands on her hip.
"Give them back, Sirius," Mary agreed.
"Now, Black," Shacklebolt added.
"You people are no fun," Sirius grumbled, walking back toward the stairs.
"Thank you," Peter said, giving him a stern glare and snatching the pile out of his hands. He then waddled back up the stairs, holding the pile in one hand and his towel carefully in the other. Sirius had to admit, he had not expected Peter to be brave enough to face the common room in only his towel. He was slightly impressed, though disappointed the prank had been foiled so easily.
"Next time I catch you nicking another student's personal belongings it will be detention," Shacklebolt told him.
"Don't be so mean to Peter," Mary scolded.
"Why don't you head back to your room before you can cause any more trouble," Shacklebolt suggested.
"Right away, Prefect Shacklebolt, sir!" James said, offering a mock salute.
The boy just rolled his eyes.
"Your prank execution is perfectly pathetic," James told him as he dragged him by the arm back up the stairs. "I'm embarrassed for you."
"Come off it Potter. Just imagine how funny it would have been if Peter had had to ask Mary for his underwear back."
James pondered this for a moment. "I suppose it would have been funny. But a prank is only as good as the prankster. As Mary was an unwilling participant, it fell apart."
Sirius shrugged. "No risk, no reward."
"Think it through next time, will you?" James told him.
"I offer no guarantees," Sirius countered.
"Did you really have to show the girls my underthings!" Peter asked, looking severely ruffled by the situation when the other two returned to the dormitory. His cheeks were flushed and it was taking him more than one try to get his leg through the hole in his PJ bottoms.
"They were clean," Sirius told him calmly. In truth, he couldn't help but enjoy getting Peter worked up - his little friend's voice always raised several octaves in such situations.
"I told him not to," James said.
"Technically, that is untrue," Sirius pointed out. "You asked me what I was doing, and you warned me that Peter would correctly deduce that I was picking on him, and you told me you did not condone my behavior. But, you never actually told me to stop or attempt to physically hold me back in my actions."
"Hn." All this, of course, was entirely accurate, and James had no argument in response.
"Everyone saw me in my towel," Peter grumbled.
"You didn't have to come down the stairs," Sirius told him. "In fact, I'm entirely shocked you did."
Peter shot him a glare that was rather more intimidating than Sirius was used to from his little friend. "Not that there's anything wrong with it, of course," he added quickly. "You didn't show anything we wouldn't see at the beach."
"You know Black, not everyone likes to wander around half-naked," James said.
"You would have never done that to Remus," Peter complained.
"Well where would the fun be - he would never come downstairs because of the sc-"
Sirius realized what he was saying and felt the words die in his mouth. James and Peter also realized it, because the tone of the room shifted from playfully charged to tense and sad, and all three boys shifted to look at their missing friend's bed. A small wave of guilt hit Sirius, thinking of how, while he messed around, his friend was enduring a painful transformation he had no say in.
"Right." Sirius coughed into his hand, then slapped Peter on the back. "Sorry Petey. It was all in good fun though."
"I'm sure I've heard Mary mention brothers. Surely she's done the laundry at home before. There was nothing there she wouldn't have already seen," James added, trying to be helpful.
Peter narrowed his eyes at both of them, but then broke into a little smile.
"I suppose it was a little funny," he allowed.
Sirius slapped him on the back again and laughed. It was best to keep things light, he decided, so that when they visited Remus tomorrow there would be something fun to talk about. After all, a little mischief always did wonders for his own mood. Surely he should do his best to keep things upbeat for Remus.
/
Peter knew better than to express it out loud, but he hated visiting Remus in the hospital wing.
It wasn't that he begrudged Remus the company - that certainly wasn't it. It was simply the hospital wing itself. It always smelled of unpleasant medicinal potions, and often other, more unpleasant bodily fluids, especially in winter, which was sick season.
There was also the need for secrecy when sneaking in and out of Remus' little room. Madam Pomfrey had stressed that she would only allow the boys to visit if she felt it was in Remus' best interest, and drawing attention to his frequent hospital stays was clearly not. Peter understood this, but it left him very stressed every time he crept across the hospital wing, glancing around for any other students who may have needed the matron's services.
Then there was the added fact that Remus often slept through large portions of their visits, particularly on the first day after a transformation. This didn't seem to bother James or Sirius, who would continue whatever nonsensical conversation they'd been having in exaggerated whispers over their friend's sleeping form. But Peter hated seeing Remus so worn out - the bags under his friend's eyes were disconcerting - as was the way his voice was always hoarse.
This was why he was without James and Sirius, dragging his feet on his way to the hospital wing that Friday, and witnessed what he witnessed outside the seventh year Defense Against the Dark Arts class, which took place during one of the second year free periods.
"Rubbish. Absolute rubbish!" a young man's voice echoed through the corridor. Peter paused, fairly sure he recognized the voice, but not immediately placing it.
"Longbottom, how can you say that, coming from a long pureblood line yourself?"
"Stop trying to veil your prejudice as some form of tradition that's worth being preserved," the original voice snapped back.
It was Frank Longbottom, though Peter had never seen the older boy so heated before. He was arguing with a seventh-year Ravenclaw Peter did not recognize.
"Frank, calm down," Cecilia Davenport, another older Gryffindor, had stepped between the two boys and was clearly trying to defuse the situation.
Frank ignored her, glaring over her head at the Ravenclaw. "I'm sick of people trying to act like suggestions of genocide are appropriate political discourse." His round, normally friendly face was splotched with red and his eyes were stormy. Despite having absolutely no resemblance to Sirius, Peter was immediately reminded of his friend.
The Ravenclaw balked. "I would never suggest violence as an answer to the problem. I'm merely saying we have to consider what the mixing of muggles and wizards does to our blood, and if accepting muggleborns in our institutions is in our best interest."
"Merlin, just shut up!" Frank shouted. "Anyone who has magic is a wizard or witch! It's that simple. Every magical child should be given equal opportunity to train their skills, and do whatever they want with them as part of a productive society."
"But if muggleborns are actually diluting the magic in our -"
"There's no evidence of that, you stupid prick. It's that kind of misinformation that's birthed such dangerous ideas."
"You're accusing me of promoting a faction of fanatics when I'm just trying to provide another perspective!"
"You really think that's all you're doing?! People are dying over the concepts you're pushing. It doesn't matter if you didn't shoot the spell if you encouraged the person who did."
"ENOUGH!" The professor had finally heard the commotion and appeared. All heads snapped in her direction.
Irene Dawlish, who had replaced Professor McGilvary so he could return to his research, was a short, older woman with a commanding presence.
"This is not an appropriate time or place for this kind of discussion," she said. "You should be ashamed of yourselves - shouting at each other in the hallways. What kind of example are you setting for your younger peers?"
Peter gulped when several sets of eyes fell on him. He was the only younger year in the corridor, as class time had technically started.
"But Professor - " the Ravenclaw began.
"The only topics that will be discussed in my classroom today will be relevant course material, and we will address our classmates in an appropriate tone," she said with finality. "Your NEWTs will be here before you know it. You may leave your passionate debates for your own time."
She raised an arm toward the door, clearly indicating that the students should enter. They filed in one by one, the Ravenclaw leaving Frank Longbottom wide berth.
Peter pondered what he had just seen as he continued his walk toward the hospital wing. He didn't know Frank very well, but he didn't seem the type to anger easily, and he'd never heard him yell the way he had just then.
He was unnerved to learn that the pureblood prejudices seemed to be an issue across houses. He had, naively as he just realized, thought it was an issue contained to Slytherin house. But of course that had been silly - there were purebloods in all houses, families scattered across them. Clearly the culture of Gryffindor house seemed to stamp out active conversation about such things, but there could be those sitting in silence, holding prejudices but keeping quiet about them in the interest of self-preservation, especially if popular upper years like Frank were so outspoken against it.
This was both comforting and concerning, Peter thought. There was this idea that you might not know where a person really stands, if they are not brave enough to bring it up. He certainly wouldn't have the guts to argue with the likes of James or Sirius about any issue.
He entered the hospital wing through the double doors, glancing around to make sure the beds were unoccupied, then tapped his wand to slip into Remus' room. He was relieved to find Remus sitting up, his face full of color as he nodded along to whatever story James was telling.
"Petey! What held you up?" Sirius asked, turning to face him. "You were right behind us, then you were gone!"
Peter proceeded to explain the scene that had unfolded with the seventh years.
"It's not normal, you know," he told them when he had finished. "Things aren't so tense at Beauxbatons. I asked my cousins about it."
Indeed, things were entirely different in the French school, if Nicholas and Joseph were to be believed. His cousins had been surprised to learn second years were regularly reading the paper, shocked to learn of the kind of violence being reported, and positively disgusted when Peter described what he had been some of the milder run-ins the four Gryffindor boys had with some of the Slytherins.
"Well, sure, their country probably isn't on the brink of war," Sirius said.
James raised an eyebrow. "Must you be so alarmist?"
"Surely you see what's happening," Sirius said.
"Surely you're not willing to concede a war is coming yet, are you?" James snapped back.
Peter had once had the thought, but it was not a thought he enjoyed hearing spoken aloud.
"Don't be daft, Potter," Sirius said.
"Don't be dramatic, Black."
"Don't be so loud, please," Remus said, rubbing his temples. "My headache hasn't quite abated just yet."
James and Sirius immediately began apologizing and fawning over Remus as Peter felt incredibly guilty for bringing things up in the first place. It only lasted for a minute, however - as Sirius fluffed his friend's pillow and James adjusted the blanket on the hospital bed, Remus shot Peter a wink, and the other boy realized his friend had just effectively broken up a mounting argument and changed the subject. Peter chuckled and shook his head. Good old Remus. He would be lost without him.
/
Lily always enjoyed meetings of the Slug Club, as it was called. Professor Slughorn played favorites - she understood that and realized it was not entirely fair - but she also felt some small amount of pride as being labeled as such.
And the parties - they were something to behold. Lily had never attended a wizarding party before Slughorn's holiday party first year, and she had been nearly overwhelmed. Glittering garland of live faeries. Fountains of pumpkin juice that defied gravity. Wizards and witches dressed to the nines in dress robes made of fabrics so lush and soft she had to resis the urge to stroke them - it was all so glamorous, like something out of Buckingham Palace but with a magical spin that pushed it beyond her wildest dreams.
Regular meetings were of course, much more subdued, but she enjoyed them nonetheless. Often the professor would have them sit at a large circular table he conjured in the dungeon, where he would monitor a discussion about a range of topics. These conversations included first years all the way up to seventh and always left Lily stimulated and inspired to learn more about whatever topic they chose to focus on that night.
She was leaving a meeting of this format, her mind spinning over the implications of the werewolf registry, when she heard voices arguing in the distance.
"I can't believe you called me down here for this. No - I can't believe I was stupid enough to come at your beck and call for this!"
"Sirius, how can I make you understand how important this is?"
"I am fully aware of how important this is!"
"No matter how much you think you know, you're still just a 13-year-old boy. I am trying to protect you and protect our family!"
"You're just a 16-year-old girl!"
Lily stopped, and cautiously peered around the corner. The boy in the argument was undoubtedly Sirius Black, which means the girl must be his cousin Narcissa. She got visual confirmation of this quickly, then leaned back, torn between whether it was better to interrupt or the eavesdrop.
"If you had come home for Christmas I wouldn't have to be the one explaining things to you," the girl was saying, sounding impatient. "If you would just read your mother's letters…"
"I have no interest in my mother's letters," the boy told her.
"I admit, I haven't always been as good to you at school as I should be, but I swear I am trying to help you here. If you keep hanging around the wrong sort the families won't continue to turn a blind eye because of your age!"
"Does it bother you, dear Cissy, that your world is so small that you think this is of concern to me?" Sirius' tone was caustic.
"Do you really want to be ostracized from the people who love you? Is this petty rebellion game worth that?"
"I'm not a girl, so you won't be able to call me names like whore or slag. That's what they call her, you know. But then again, they already call me a blood traitor, you know."
"Don't talk about Andromeda! And you know full well I have tried to stop that!"
"You've been spectacularly unsuccessful."
"Think about the example you're setting for Reg-"
Lily had heard enough of what was clearly meant to be a private conversation. Taking a deep breath, she came around the corner, stepping loudly so her approach could not be missed.
"Oh!" She feigned surprise. "Well I thought I heard voices."
"Evans!" Lily was astonished to see Sirius' face crack into a large grin. "Heading back to the common room? I'd be happy to escort you.'
Before she could respond, he had rushed to her side and offered her his arm. Deciding the situation was delicate enough without her expressing her general dislike toward his actions as of late, she decided to take it, smiling brightly at Narcissa.
"You've interrupted our conversation," the blonde said, glaring at Lily.
"Now now, that can't be helped, can it?" Sirius said. "We really must be off. I can't keep a lady waiting. Goodbye, dear cousin." With that, Sirius dragged Lily in the direction of the stairs.
"Black, slow down," Lily said as he continued to pull her up the stairs. "And return my arm, will you?"
"Sorry, sorry," he let go, then turned and smiled at her. His apparent joy in her direction made her feel off-balance. "Your timing could not have been better Evans, honestly."
"Well, I suppose someone else would have come along soon enough. You were arguing in a public hallway, you know. Rather loudly." She did not want to lie by not making it clear that she had heard at least part of his conversation.
His face fell a bit, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Right. Well, of course someone heard." Lily couldn't help but feel some sympathy for him. She knew how it felt to argue with your family.
Silence spread rather uncomfortably for a moment, and Lily decided to break it kindly. "I suppose I owe you a rather overdue apology, for getting so angry about the things your grandfather wrote in the paper," she told him.
He blinked, then his smile was back. "Wow Evans, what a thing to say." Then he shook his head. "But no, no apology needed. Those things - you know that I know they're wrong, right? I mean, I get the impression you don't always think much of Potter and I, and there I can agree to disagree. But you don't think I believe those things, do you?"
Lily assessed the boy before her. Sirius Black could be arrogant, this she was sure of. He could also be a bully, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Rude, somewhat thoughtless, and selfish, also. But, after a year and a half in school together, Lily was fairly certain a blood purist he was not. For normal people, of course, this should be nothing to celebrate. But for a child born and raised in Britain's pureblood wizarding community, she was gathering, this was a rather important anomaly to address. She thought again of the talk she'd just left, which had centered around the werewolf registry. The amount of hate and vitriol she had heard spouted from mouths of students she had previously respected had left her a bit shaken. The muggle world certainly had its problems as well, but she was starting to think the wizarding world's plight was more urgent. That meant boys like Sirius Black, who believed humans were humans and therefore all equal, even if that meant equal to suffer his company, was something to celebrate after all.
"I think it's clear that you don't believe those things," she told him. His smile transformed into a massive grin, showing off perfectly white teeth. Entirely too good looking, she couldn't help but think to herself. "Now, if we could begin to work on the real issue, which is that you seem to believe it okay to hex others in the halls, that would be something, wouldn't it?"
"You ask too much of me, Evans."
She sighed and shook her head, letting her long hair hit her face as she did so. "It was worth a shot."
The two walked the rest of the way back to Gryffindor Tower without speaking, but it was rather comfortable. Sirius hummed as he walked, apparently incapable of keeping entirely quiet. Lily found herself wondering what kind of person Black was when it was only he and his friends around. Was the obnoxious personality all an act - a way to protect himself from the things he did not like about himself?
Lily had taken an immediate dislike to Potter and Black that first night on the train, when they'd made snide remarks about Slytherin house and picked a fight with Severus. But then she was sorted into Gryffindor, and forced to come into close quarters with them. She remembered vividly the awful Howler Mrs. Black had sent - her first experience with such a thing. The words the woman had used to speak to her son were not words any child should have to hear from a parent.
It stood to reason that one raised by a woman with such poor manners would have poor manners himself. And indeed, Lily thought Black's general behavior needed great improvement. But maybe, rather than offering him disdain, she could offer him a grudging friendship and guidance. Sometimes kindness was what people really needed.
She thought of Severus, and what she knew of his home life. She couldn't help but draw a parallel between the two boys, though she was sure if she tried to bring it up with either she would be rebuffed immediately.
She wondered if this was a worthy idea, or if she was merely being sucked in by Black's superficial charms. And then there was the issue of Potter. Spending any time around Black would mean spending time with Potter, an idea that hardly thrilled her. But then again, it would also mean spending more time with Remus and Peter, which was not unappealing to her, and certainly a plus for Mary and Eliza.
Yes, Lily resolved, she would try harder to offer understanding instead of frustration, gentle correction instead of harsh judgment.
Lily Evans had a good heart, and though at the time she was too young to appreciate how mature her own budding perspective would be, deciding to choose patience. forgiveness and compassion for others would at the age of 12 would prove to define her character for the rest of her life.