Chapter 46: Seven Minutes in Heaven.

"What the hell is going on?"

Hachiman sounded close to hysterical. No one could blame him, though. He was in a bit of a situation, having found himself trapped inside a small janitor's closet. But of course that was not all. There were others trapped with him, inside the same small room and let's just say, all of them put together made for an interesting bunch, and by interesting he meant annoying as hell.

"Ara, Hikigaya-kun you should look at the positive side of things." Akeno Himejima-senpai said. "At least you're not trapped in here alone. You have me to talk to in case you feel lonely or claustrophobic, given the size of the room."

"Why would I feel lonely, senpai?" Hachiman said. "I'm a loner. If I was given a choice, I would have preferred to be locked in here alone. And claustrophobia? Really? What made you think of that? I'm not claustrophobic. Besides, at the moment, I'm more worried that we would all die of suffocation because of lack of oxygen."

"If it makes you feel any better, I won't die, Hikigaya." Said Mordred Pendragon. Then she looked at Akeno Himejima like she was an airhead. "And what is this stuff about, claustrophobia. He is trapped in here with a bunch of women. This is probably a wet dream of his come to life."

"You are one to talk, Mordred." Hachiman said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mordred asked, confused.

"Nothing" Hachiman decided not to test his luck. "I just want to point out that you just called yourself a woman, so if you feel like using someone's neck as a sheath for your sword, well you know, where to put it."

"I can't believe it." Mordred sounded affronted. "You just asked me to kill myself because I happened to be stuck in the same room as you. Is the lack of air making you go stupid or something or are you scared I might grow tired of your uppity attitude and end your pathetic life by the blade of my sword."

"You won't kill me, Mordred. You love your holy sword way too much." Hachiman teased.

"You have a holy sword?" Akeno Himejima asked.

"You don't?" Mordred fired back. "Aren't you some big shot fallen angel or something? How do you fight your battles, then? With you boobs?"

Akeno Himejima smirked. "Ara Ara, Ufufufu, you are such a cute little thing. I want to teach you all kinds of stuff, but in case you are wondering, yes, Mordred-chan, there are some battles which are indeed settled by boobs, as you so eloquently put."

"Really? What kind of battles?" Mordred sounded somewhat interested. "This is the first time, I have heard about such a thing. You better not be telling me lies, Himejima. I will end your sorry existence. "

"Mordred, Himejima-senpai is your senior. You should at least call her senpai." Hachiman said.

"But I'm threatening her!" Mordred almost whined.

"Even so, there is a particular sort of etiquette involved. We are not animals." Hachiman replied.

"Fine!" Mordred Pendragon crossed her arms and stamped her foot with more strength than it was actually needed. It led to a chain reaction which resulted in Hachiman stumbling over and almost falling face first to the floor. But he decided to balance himself and reached out for anything to grab on. It was his first mistake because –

"Ahn~ Hikigaya-kun, you are so rough~" Akeno Himejima moaned out.

"Sorry senpai it was an honest mistake." Hachiman was blushing red. "You see, I lost my balance because of Mochi and I was falling down and I had to grab onto something real quick and your boobs were just hanging there – ah! Ouch, ouch, ouch, sorry. Cut it out!"

Mai Sakurajima had lifted his tee-shirt and was squeezing the soft skin of his tummy, making him squirm in pain. "That is no way to talk to a senpai, Hikigaya-kun, especially one whose breasts you grabbed on for dear life. Shouldn't you be saying something to her, instead?"

Hachiman didn't think for a moment. "Thank you?"

"Hikigaya is an idiot." Mashiro Shiina said.

"You are right, Shiina." Mordred agreed. "He is an idiot."

"Wait, you two know each other?" Hachiman asked. "That's pretty random."

Mordred looked at him like he was an idiot. "Did you forget you were the one who introduced us to each other? Really what goes on in that depressed little head of yours."

"He's probably thinking about erotic things." Mai Sakurajima said. "He is a guy and he is trapped in a small janitor's closet with four women. He might have a bit of a unique personality, but even he has his limits – ooh~ what are you doing, Hikigaya-kun?"

"It was an accident, you were moving around too much." Hachiman said. "It's not like I go around touching women's boobs."

"All evidence to the contrary." Mai Sakurajima said with a frown.

"Hey, I touched your sides." Then, "Accidentally." It was a good thing he added that because otherwise he would end up dead. "Besides, I think you're ticklish. That didn't quite sound like a moan, if you know what I'm saying. At least it didn't sound quite like anything coming out from, Himejima-senpai's mouth."

Akeno Himejima gave him a saucy look. "You like my mouth don't you, Hikigaya-kun." She licked her lips.

In the next instant, Mordred had her butterfly knife to his neck. "Now, what was that about, Hikigaya? I won't ask twice. And I would give you a permanent scar for the ladies to fawn over. Women dig a man with a cool looking scar, you know." She dug the tip to his neck a little bit. "But I don't think you will appreciate the gesture. You are not the type if you know my meaning."

"Ahn~"

"Now that was a sexy moan." Akeno Himejima said. "As expected of an actress. But I don't think that was really a bit of acting. It sounded too real."

Mai Sakurajima blushed. Then as elegantly as she could manage, she spoke the following words to his ear, brushing her lips to the tips in the process. "Remove your hand from my…thighs, Hikigaya-kun."

Hachiman Hikigaya was blushing too. For one thing, the room was entirely too small. And there were five of them in total trapped inside, four women and him. He had been trying to move as little as possible, but Mordred was going restless and Akeno Himejima-senpai was not helping matters. Then there was Mai Sakurajima with her own interesting way of talking and he would rather not talk about the unique personality of Mashiro Shiina. Well at the moment, he felt like thanking the little blonde haired women. She had been the most helpful thing to happen to his psyche since he had found himself trapped here. She had said very little, moved around very little and in way of speech she had done nothing else but call him an idiot a couple of times. He could handle it, but he couldn't handle the feeling in his hands.

"Ara, Hikigaya-kun, I didn't think you were quite so bold." Akeno Himejima noted.

Even Mashiro Shiina decided to speak up. "Are you studying to be a gynecologist, Hikigaya?"

Mordred, given her position, in front of him, couldn't see where his hand was in the back. "Huh, what are you talking about, Shiina?"

"He has is hand down- mpph!"

Hachiman had acted really quick. He had taken his hand out, somewhere from Mai Sakurajima's thigh, he didn't really want to think about where at the moment, the touch of fabric had given him a clue and really he didn't want to be labeled as a pervert, but his actions weren't helping him any and he really wanted to quite down the voice which would incriminate him further. So he placed one hand onto Mashiro Shiina's mouth to stop the woman from speaking anymore. As it is, she had spoken enough.

"Hey what are you doing to, Shiina." Mordred sounded alarmed.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Hachiman said infuriated.

"You are hurting her, Hikigaya."

"I'm not hurting her. She's fine – Ouch!" He took his hand back and looked at his finger. Then he looked at the blonde haired woman with the unreadable facial expressions. "You bit me."

Mashiro Shiina rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand. "You put your dirty hand in my mouth." She said plainly. "I have to brush my teeth again. Hikigaya is a pervert." She intoned.

"First of all, my hand isn't dirty." Hachiman tried.

"Your hand was down there in Sakurajima-san's pant- Ahn~" Mashiro Shiina was caught by surprise. Then, she looked at him with confused eyes. "What is this strange feeling? Why is my heart beating so fast?"

"Hey stop groping,Shiina, you creep!" Mordred actually swung the knife down like a crazy woman.

Hachiman barely escaped her wrath. "It was not my fault. Sakurajima kicked me from behind."

Mashiro Shiina looked at Mai Sakurajima. "Thank you."

Mai Sakurajima sounded uncertain. "You're welcome?"

Akeno Himejima made matters worse. "You see, Mordred-chan. This is what I was telling you about before. Sometimes breasts do play a part in a particular battle, a more sexually charged battle that is." She said while placing her index finger in her mouth and worrying her bottom lip down and throwing a rather seductive wink towards the only other male in the room. "You see, you don't know it yet, but you are losing. Hikigaya-kun has touched my breasts, he had even touched Sakurajima-san rather intimately and now he was also played with the innocent, Mashiro Shiina. But you, you he did not touch. Why? Now that is an interesting question. Perhaps he doesn't see you as a woman."

Mordred Pendragon was left fuming. But her pride wouldn't allow it. "Well of course, he doesn't see me as a mere woman." Still she did her best, learning from him to use her words correctly. That's right, she was no mere woman.

However, Hachiman had too much exposure with the female anatomy. The monster of logic was licking its psychological wounds and his mouth ran rampant without a single thought to what he was actually saying. "That's right. I don't see Mordred as a woman."

"What did you say!?" Mordred turned on him.

It had dire results.

"Ahn~"

"Ooh~"

"Eeh~"

Everyone in the room was blushing, everyone except Mordred Pendragon. She couldn't take it, she wouldn't allow this to happen. Besides, that fallen angel, Akeno Himejima had just accused her of losing a battle. She couldn't let that slide.

"Hikigaya, touch my breasts! This instant!" Mordred ordered.

"Yeah, how about no." Hachiman knew a trap when he saw one. "Listen, Mochi, you don't know what you are saying. Himejima-senpai is playing her mind tricks on you. She is manipulating you."

But Mordred wouldn't hear it. "Fine. You asked for it."

Without a second thought, Mordred Pendragon reached out, grabbed both of his hands and placed them on top of her breasts. She was wearing a tube top, so there was a lot more skin contact compared to the other women in this small room.

There was complete and utter silence. It felt like everyone had even stopped breathing. Akeno Himejima was smiling, Mai Sakurajima looked on sympathetic and Mashiro Shiina had taken out a piece of paper and was quickly making a sketch.

Finally Mordred opened her mouth. Her cheeks were red, she felt hot and she was blushing terribly like a simple minded woman which she really hated. But still, she wanted to know one thing. But all words failed her and she could manage nothing except for a mere word.

"Well?" she asked.

"It's okay."Hachiman Hikigaya looked at her. "You are a Saber. There's still hope for you yet."

When Kurumu Kurono opened the door from outside and let the others out, she took note of all their faces. Mordred Pendragon walked out, almost running down the corridor. Mai Sakurajima said a small 'excuse me' and left and Mashiro Shiina was holding onto a piece of paper like it was the long lost art of Pablo Picasso. Finally she looked at Akeno Himejima-senpai and asked. "What the hell happened?"

Akeno Himejima actually sounded apologetic. "It seems Hikigaya-kun will be spending more than seven minutes in heaven, I'm afraid."

"What is seven minutes in heaven?" Eru Chitanda asked. "I'm curious."

Akeno Himejima looked at the innocent girl with the big eyes and ah, yes, big breasts. "Come with me, child" She spoke like a mother, a sick, twisted, perverted, milf of a mother. "I will teach you everything."

A/N: I'm really liking this type of chapters where there is 8man and a bunch of girls instead of just the one. I know it's not as fluffy or intimate as the other one shots but this too look special. At least it's funny if nothing else, but maybe that's just what I think. Let me know what you think in the review.

Now here are the options for the next chapter:

Option 1: Kaori Miyazono – Your lie in April

Option 2: Anastasia – Fate.

Option 3: Kyouko Hori – Horimiya.

Option 4: Ami Kawashima – Toradora.

Option 5: Mashu Kyrielight - Fate

Please pick any of the above options or suggest a character in the review.

You can also send a voter list.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.

Won't betray your dreams.