46. Sunshine

Beep. Beep.

Ugh…what is that?

Beep. Beep.

So…annoying…

It was the first thing I heard; this obnoxious beeping. Why was it so loud? And what was it? And why wouldn't it freaking stop?

Beep. Beep.

As I became more consciously aware of myself, the next thing I noticed was the pain. My body felt like it had been completely pulverized. Ugh, what had I been doing?

And then it all hit me.

I wasn't just waking up on a normal day. The war. The battle. The lightning. Sasuke.

Part of me felt immediately alert, the other part of me remained groggy. 'Go back to sleep' my body seemed to be telling me. My mind even felt sluggish, likely a side effect from some medications or other. Now that I felt more awake, I easily recognized that annoying sound as a heart monitor.

But though my muscles ached, and my eyelids felt heavy, I needed to get up. I needed to find out what was going on. I was alive so that was a good sign. Had we won the war? What had happened to everyone? My brother? Cherushii, Naruto…Sasuke…?

Forcing my eyelids open was much harder than one would expect. My body seemed to be warring with my brain, trying to force me back to sleep. Eventually, however, I finally succeeded in cracking my eyelids. My vision was blurry at first, but two, slow blinks later, I was staring up at a beige ceiling.

Turning my head to the side, a host of machines came into view. I wasn't sure what they all did, but they were proof that I was, indeed, alive. An IV pole was equipped with a large bag of clear fluid that was hooked to my hand by an IV. The heart monitor continued to beep steadily.

My eyes continued to move around the room, and it was then that I noticed I was not alone. My visitor sat at my bedside, clearly asleep. Their head rested beside our clasped hands. I couldn't help the smile that slipped onto my face at the sight of his larger hand clasping my pale one.

My smile fell, however, when a twinge of pain shot through my body. My muscles informed me of their achiness yet again and I took in a deep breath, trying to breathe through the pain. When I rode through the wave of pain, I took a steadying breath and focused my attention on my body.

Only my arms were free from the white blanket that covered my body, but I imagine the rest of me would look the same. Red splotches dotted my pale skin, some larger areas covered in gauze. Burns, I realized. I couldn't help but grimace; I was hoping these wouldn't scar bad.

From my periphery, I noted a head begin to rise. I glanced over, the words coming without having to think. "Good morning, sleeping beauty."

A pair of onyx eyes blinked in my direction. He looked tired; the evidence of sleeplessness below his eyes. We regarded each other for a long moment, silence stretching between us.

I was surprised to find that I suddenly felt very nervous, perhaps a tad embarrassed. The memory of the battle, and the moments before it, played through my mind. At the time, considering the dire circumstances, throwing myself at Sasuke had seemed a reasonable thing to do. Now, however, and to my horror, I felt my face flush with the heat.

I found that I couldn't look Sasuke in the eye and quickly diverted my attention to a stray thread on my blanket. I hoped he wouldn't notice my sudden awkwardness. Besides…he had kissed me back, hadn't he? There was no reason to feel awkward. And I thought…

"I love you, Nakao."

Had he really said that? Or had I imagined it? Had it merely been a near-death hallucination?

"You're awake."

Hearing him speak somehow gave me the courage to glance up at him. He was watching me evenly, with no hint of his thoughts or feelings in his expression.

"I'm awake," I repeated with a wry smile that probably looked more like a pained grimace.

Turning my gaze from Sasuke once more, I braced my hands against the mattress and pushed myself into a sitting position. My muscles groaned in protest and I heard a pained gasp escape my lips.

"You probably shouldn't move much."

I waved away Sasuke's advice, taking in a deep breath through my nose. I let the pain ebb away before trying, yet again, to look at Sasuke. He was still gazing at me and I forced myself to do the same. I just kept chanting in my head: he kissed you back, he kissed you back.

I cleared my throat slightly. "So, uh…what happened?"

"We won."

I eyed him, eyebrow raised. "Well I gathered that, seeing as we're both alive."

At that, I saw something flash in Sasuke's eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come. "You…"

He trailed off, as though searching for the words he wanted to use.

My brow wrinkled in confusion. "I…what…?"

"You did die," Sasuke said quietly.

It was a strange thing, being told you had died. I found myself taken aback for a moment. "Well…I guess I didn't stay dead."

Sasuke leveled me a look, one that reminded me of when we were twelve. One that distinctly said 'obviously, idiot'.

"Please tell me I don't have to go thank Sakura for my life," I said, wincing as the picture formed in my mind.

And there, a slight tug on one corner of his lips. I found myself trying not to smile and glanced down, noticing for the first time that our hands were still joined. I felt my heart speed up a bit and I found myself glancing back to his face.

In retrospect, this should have been the moment where my prior shyness revealed itself. But oddly, all my perceived awkwardness from earlier was gone. I gazed openly at his face, my eyes scanning over the angles and lines that were so familiar.

The air around me changed. Tension had settled around us, but not of the bad variety. The air felt charged with electricity, filling me with a sudden sense of excitement and anticipation. The room melted away, even that infernal beeping, leaving just myself and the boy, no, man before me. Did he feel it too? He still hadn't moved his hand.

The door practically crashing open made the moment pop like a bubble. I jumped and Sasuke wrenched his hand away. From surprise or not wanting to be seen, I couldn't be sure, but I had very little time to think about it. I glanced over to the doorway, only to see a dash of color before I was completely engulfed in a hug.

"Kiba…" I blinked, my voice muffled against his chest. "Kiba, that hurts…"

"Sorry!" He drew away, although remained seated at the edge of my bed. Sasuke had scooted his chair back aways and watched the exchange with a blank expression. Kiba's eyes roamed my figure, taking in the bandages and burns. "You're awake."

"So I've been told."

Kiba was shaking his head, his tone serious. "I thought…I thought you were gone. And then you didn't wake…"

I offered him a smile. "How could I leave you? Who would be around to save your mangy butt?"

This drew a smile from my friend and he reached for one of my hands, giving it a squeeze.

"I'm assuming all this ruckus is because my little sister is awake?" Keitaro mused, stepping into the room.

"Are we going to have an entire reunion?" I muttered with a bite of annoyance, my eyes darting over to Sasuke.

"I'm glad the lightning didn't strike down your sunny disposition, Nakao," my brother replied dryly with an amused smirk. His eyes, too, hovered over Sasuke for the briefest of moments.

"If you were going to be this dramatic," this time it was Cherushii coming through the door. "You might have warned us."

I made a show of rolling my eyes. My cousin spit her tongue out in response before she reached my bed and quickly engulfed me in a hug. Before she pulled away, she whispered quickly in my ear.

"You know, up close, your doggy friend is super cute."

My eyebrows shot up, but Cherushii pulled away with a wink. I could only sigh as she shot Kiba a look that had him blinking furiously.

"Do I need to put a warning label on you?" I muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.

"And spoil the surprise?" Her blue eyes gleamed. I almost groaned, but hey, maybe this would be good for my friend. I shook my head, but the movement made me suddenly dizzy and nauseous. A hand went up to steady my head while I took a deep breath in through my nose to help with my rolling stomach.

"Are you okay?" Kiba asked in concern.

I swallowed against my throat, still conscious of the nausea. "Dizzy."

"Nakao should probably rest," Sasuke said, reminding everyone that he was in the room.

"Rest well, cousin," Cherushii said, giving me a squeeze on the shoulder. I nodded while she turned her gaze on Kiba. "So, care you show me the best café around here?"

"W-What…?" Kiba blinked, but Cherushii was already looping her arm through his and was pulling him towards the door. With a bewildered look on his face, he glanced over his shoulder at me. "Uh…I'll see you tomorrow, Nakao."

I smiled gently and waved just as the pair passed through the doorway.

Keitaro took a step towards me, bending enough to place a gentle kiss atop my head. "Get some rest; I'll check back tomorrow. I love you, Nakao-imouto."

"I love you too, oniisan."

Keitaro pulled back and offered a nod to Sasuke before he, too, took his leave.

With the room empty once more, Sasuke moved his chair back to the side of my bed. I gave him a weary smile. "Thanks for getting rid of them."

"You should get some sleep."

I frowned when he said it, my eyes searching his face.

As though reading what was on my mind, he quickly assured me. "I'll be here when you wake up."

I offered him a gentle smile before leaning back on my pillows. As I closed my eyes, I felt him take my hand once more.

Fall was coming. The sun was still bright and warm as it shined through the tree canopies, and the leaves remained bright green. But there was something distinct in the breeze as it pushed stray locks into my eyes that promised cool mornings and changes.

It was all too fitting, I supposed, considering how much my life had changed since Tsunade had sent me to investigate those marks. My whole world had been flipped upside down and I felt as though everything I had ever known was wrong. And now that I knew the truth and the war was over, I felt like I was at a pivotal point in my life. Like a new chapter was starting with an entirely new plot and I had to figure out how to piece it all together.

There was much that needed to be worked out. What would I do with my position as the leader of the Makase Clan? What fate was my brother looking at considering he had deserted his country? And there was still the matter that Kiba had kissed me just prior to my abduction. That would probably need to be dealt with; though I hoped that perhaps Cherushii might be of assistance with this? Despite all of this, however, my mind was pulled to a single topic.

Sasuke and I had not discussed what had transpired between us during the battle. We had not spoken about the kiss or my (our?) declaration of love. When he would visit me in the hospital, we spoke of anything else. He gave me updates on the war and the minor rebellions that were still going on and needing to be dealt with. He would answer my questions about the village and my loved ones. Sometimes we would sit in silence, absorbed in our own thoughts, but comfortable in each other's presence.

I had checked out of the hospital early this morning; out the door as soon as they agreed to release me. I needed time to collect myself; to gather my thoughts and feelings in hopes of managing them better. Because this wasn't just the start of a new chapter in my life, but in Sasuke's as well. And I was terrified.

Despite spending years telling myself I would never let myself be vulnerable again, I had done just that. I had let Sasuke through the cracks in my wall until it had crumbled completely. I had gone so far as to admit that I loved him, to his face. Something I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do had I not been dying. And now I had to face the consequences.

What would Sasuke do now? Would he leave again? And what would I do if he did?

But he said he loved you, the little spark of hope in my chest insisted. But had he? How could I be sure he'd actually said that? And if he had, what if it was just because I was dying? An attempt to ease my passing or to assuage some guilt? Or what if he'd said it and meant it, but didn't want to act on it? What if he didn't want a commitment, or didn't want to love, or felt he couldn't?

How could I watch his back as he exited through the village gates? Could I do it without tears or without begging? Could I handle him walking away from me another time without returning to that bitter girl who sought solace in danger?

And how could I face the years to come? Knowing what it was to love, but to never be loved? Knowing that I would never love another; or, at least the way that I loved Sasuke. Could I face that kind of loneliness again?

Already my heart was aching in my chest. I rested my arms on the aging stone wall of our bridge, leaning forward as if it would lighten the invisible load on my shoulders. Perhaps I should not have chosen this location to contemplate my potential loss. It only made it worse, really, reminded me of just how much I had to lose. But my feet had brought me here on their own accord; drawn here by some invisible force stronger than myself. The same force that kept my feet rooted here, despite the danger of the memories that persisted here. Memories that haunted my dreams and my waking hours alike.

I felt him before I heard the twig snap. I felt my spine stiffen in response and I did not look behind me. Instead I found a spot on the forest floor and let it command my entire attention. But that did not stop me from counting every heartbeat it took for him to come to a stop beside me.

Silence hung over us for a long moment as we stood side by side, our attention focused somewhere other than each other. But I was conscious of each breath he took; audible to me only because of our proximity to one another.

I supposed I ought to say something. We couldn't delay the inevitable after all. Perhaps it'd be best to rip the bandaid off. To turn and ask: are you leaving? But though I opened my mouth, no words would come to me. In the end, it was Sasuke who spoke.

"I didn't expect you out of the hospital so early."

"I was tired of the smell of antiseptic," I replied, my voice even if not a touch detached.

A heartbeat of silence. "You should be at home resting."

"I needed to think…" I said softly, glancing over at Sasuke from the corner of my eye. He was staring forward, his face impassive. I decided to plunge ahead before my good sense could stop me. "Is that why you're here?"

"Is there something I should be thinking about?"

I felt a flicker of annoyance. Was he testing me? Did he want me to bring the conversation up? Here? Now?

But I'm not ready…

You'll never be ready, my mind told me. It had a point. Dammit. Suddenly, being dead seemed like an appealing prospect.

Part of me wanted to act like I didn't care. To not reveal that my very breath hinged on his answer. To not let him know just how much hold he had over me.

But in the end, what did it matter? One way or another, he would know the truth. All he'd have to do is look at my face.

"What now, Sasuke?" I asked quietly. My heart was thumping painfully in my chest, and a sick feeling had spread through my gut, only made worse as the seconds ticked on with no answer. Finally, I could not bear the silence. "Are you leaving again?"

I should have been ashamed at how small my voice sounded, but I was too focused on the sharp pain through my heart, on fighting back the pressure that suddenly appeared behind my eyes. My peripheral vision saw him turn towards me, but I could not stand to look at him. I did not want him to see my weakness.

After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke. "We made a promise."

At that I blinked and turned fully to look at him. His face was still as passive as ever, but rarely had I ever seen his eyes so intense. They pierced through me, rooting me to the spot. I could only gaze up at him, hoping my mouth wasn't hanging open.

Slowly, Sasuke held his hand out. "Together."

My gaze wandered down to his hand, still and waiting. My mind had been wiped clean, replaced by a distant buzzing sound that was hardly noticeable over the beating of my heart. Cautiously, with a faint tremor, my hand reached out and grasped his.

Finally, I turned my gaze back to Sasuke's face. He was still watching me intently. I felt that pressure behind my eyes again, but I did not hide it this time. I let him see my watery smile, the faint tremble of my bottom lip. A small frown appeared on his face, and he looked about to say something. I did not wait to see what. Pushing myself up on my toes, hand still locked in his, I captured his lips with mine.

The sensation was just as overpowering as the first time. But this time there was no rush, no audience. My free hand moved up to rest on his chest, while his free hand reached around to rest on the small of my back. His touch seemed unsure at first, a quality I was not used to seeing from Sasuke. But it sent a tingle up my spine that quickly led to goosebumps on my skin.

When, at last, we had to separate for air, I hardly moved away. I took in a few breaths before murmuring against his lips. "Together then."

And it was him, this time, who brought his lips to mine. And it was that moment when the world suddenly made sense. It was that moment when the storm clouds finally cleared, and I could see the sunshine.

The End

-Epilogue-

"Sasuke! Come on!" I called out, yet again, from the kitchen, this time with more exasperation. I muttered under my breath as I fastened my weapons belt around my waist.

Sasuke finally made an appearance, adjusting something on his own belt. "It's just Naruto."

I rolled my eyes before fixing him with a pointed stare. "Naruto or not, if we show up late, we're going to get a crappy mission."

"You're overreacting."

I opened my mouth to give him a few choice words, but Sasuke was smart enough to quickly speak over me.

"We can't go until the babysitter gets here anyway."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop referring to her like that. When are you two going to get along?"

"When she stops referring to me as 'duck butt senior'," he replied cooly.

I coughed and tucked my lips beneath my teeth to keep me from smiling.

"Mmmoooooooooom!"

I peered over as my eldest daughter stomped into the room. She was trying to look fierce, with her hands clenched into fists and her violet eyes flashing with anger. Unfortunately, with her curly, black hair pulled into pigtails and her cheeks flushed as red as her kimono, she looked more adorable than anything.

"Nikko and Kimiko destroyed my fan!"

I moved to speak, but Sasuke spoke first.

"What did the twins do?" He asked absently, obviously not having listened as he fussed with his various weapon pouches.

Mineko shot him a glare, her cheeks puffing out momentarily in annoyance. "They destroyed my fan! How am I supposed to train at the Academy next year without my weapon!?"

I sighed, moving closer so I could give her shoulder a sympathetic pat. "They're still little; they didn't mean it."

This did little to ease Mineko's anger and, as if on cue, the twins, thick as thieves, waddled into the kitchen. At first they moved towards their older sister, but when she shot them a warning look, they seemed to think better of it and toddled over to Sasuke on their chubby legs.

"Up!" They insisted, reaching up towards their father with excitement.

Sasuke relented, scooping up a brown-haired and a black-haired toddler in each arm. Mineko crossed her arm indigently, as though Sasuke's action was further insult.

"We'll get you another fan," I promised with a smile, patting her on the head.

Just then, the backdoor opened and a blonde head appeared. "The fun is here!"

A smiling Cherushii stepped inside, followed closely by Kiba. In his arms, their three-year-old Kaykori, sporting her mother's blonde hair and her father's brown eyes.

"Kaykori!" My son and youngest daughter shrieked in delight, quickly squirming from their father's arms.

"Thanks for watching them, Cherushii," I said distractedly, quickly catching the twins so I could plant a kiss atop their heads. I barely managed before they broke free, tottering off to play with their second cousin.

"I thought Uncle Keitaro was coming over," Mineko said, accepting a hug from Cherushii.

"He's in Sunagakure," I explained. "I had him go in my place to take care of something important."

"I am way more fun than your stuffy uncle," Cherushii winked and Mineko smiled in response.

"Please don't burn the house down while I'm away," I said pointedly before turning to Kiba. "Don't let her burn the house down."

"Hey, that was a very productive training session," Cherushii protested.

I shot her a bemused smile before placing a kiss on Mineko's brow. "Be good."

"Yes, Momma," she replied, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I smiled at her fondly before moving over to Sasuke and stealing a kiss. "Ready?"

In response, he held his hand out. Smiling, I took it in mine.

Author's Note: Thank you for sharing this journey with me! I am so grateful for each and every one of you! Your reviews and support mean more than I can possibly hope to express.

Please stay tuned for further postings. I will be posting scenes written from other view points and a chapter I kept out of the remake. If there is something you wish to read, please feel free to request.

See you for the next installment. Sending all my love!