My body feels too large, too solid. Did I grow somehow? I do not recognise myself. I feel I am tiny inside this stone husk. Lost inside the Trojan horse of my own body. My tongue seems to have doubled in size and will not sit properly in my mouth, though the mirror shows no noticeable alteration. My hands feel foreign to me, like they are somehow on backwards.
The rain started again in earnest last night and is set to continue for some days. I started counting each raindrop I can hear fall last night and will continue to do so until the rain stops I suppose. How do you kill time when you have an eternity to kill?
I have reached the conclusion that even though I have loved her in the only way I knew how, I am inherently so toxic that there is no way I could ever experience real, pure love. My own best thinking always leads me awry, corrupted by my monstrous nature. I wonder how the others do it. I must be worse than them, weaker, or more damned.
I love her still. So much.
When did I become so hubristic? Was I always so hideous? Was I like this when I was a boy?
My dear mother would be so ashamed.
Esme came to hold me again after school. She seemed alarmed when she found me. She whispered "Edward, you're shaking."
I hadn't noticed.
A/N: Please leave a review! He really does love her, doesn't he? I hope if you have ever been this heartbroken that you are no longer so and that life is being kind to you today.
Just a reminder that Edward cannot continue being so atrocious to everyone indefinitely. It is time he ate some humble pie. He will come back to you in his trademark Bonerward/Prudeward style, but he needs to have a difficult adolescence first. Thanks for bearing with him.
I plan on uploading the chapters without comedy in batches so that those who are here for the laughs aren't too alienated by the tonal change and can whizz through them. I sincerely hope you will fall in love with him on the other side of all of this. The only way out is through.
Thanks to the creative, kind and funny wh1teow1 for being the best beta for this story please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!