Epilogue

JASON

Just like good whiskey, Jason would never tire of the sweet taste of Laurie's lips, and their willing response. He pulled out of their kiss and watched her struggle to regain her composure with amusement.

"They're going to be here any moment," she said in a playful pout, scooting out from underneath him where he had her pinned against the wall near the front door. She started buttoning her bodice back up. "And I'm going to burn supper."

He traced her jawline with his knuckle and tipped her head up with his finger under her chin. "Noone expects us to be on time," he murmured, and brushed her lips with his, not wanting their promising tryst to end. "We're still newlyweds."

"But they're coming here, so we can't be late," she murmured, her eyes closing again. Her fingers had stopped their task and now ran lightly down his chest. "It's raining."

"And?" He nuzzled her neck and felt her fingers curl in his hair.

"Hmm?"

Jason grinned to himself, and running his hand along her spine, whispered, "We could be quick." He gave her another kiss by her ear.

"Yes..."

He started another string of kisses and heard her sigh, followed by a baby's cry. With a groan, he stepped back and watched her shake off the trance he had so easily put her in. She straightened her dress and while fastening the rest of her buttons, walked toward their bedroom. She shook her head when he grabbed her hand.

"Jason," she said in a disapproving tone.

"Just another minute."

She licked her lips and encouraged, Jason placed his hands on her shoulders. "We need this, Laurie. I know some women don't think they do, but you're different."

"But we have a baby. You can't expect us to be romantic, even if we are newlyweds."

"And why not? You're both healthy enough now."

"I know, but..."

The demanding cry switched to angry, and Laurie's obvious discomfort between husband and child made him give up. He gently kissed her cheek. "Go take care of Jamie. He needs his mother."

She touched his cheek and said, "Your eyes are so blue."

She hurried into the bedroom, leaving Jason stumped. Sounds of footsteps on the porch and laughter caught his attention, detouring any other plans he had entertained. Jason opened the door to reveal Joshua standing with his fist in the air, ready to knock.

"Well, you're early," said Jason, moving aside to let Jeremy, Candy, and Molly inside with him. "And are you knocking? You live here now."

"Yeah, but lately you and Laurie, uh... I just thought I'd give a little warning."

Jason had helped Molly take off her slicker. "Well, thank you for that." He cringed at the sharpness in his voice.

Joshua and Jeremy chuckled. "Told you they'd be late," Joshua said to Candy. "They may have a baby, but they're still newlyweds."

"That's what I told her!" said Jason, throwing his hands in the air. "Ah, well, maybe it's for the best," he finished, his cheeks becoming more prominent under his wife's scrutiny from their bedroom's doorway where she stood holding their swaddled baby. He blinked as a slow grin spread across Laurie's face.

"Well, in that case," she said, her voice warm and sultry, sending instant desire sweeping through his body as she closed the gap between them. "You better make sure Joshua spends the night up at camp."

He didn't hesitate. "Done." Jason kissed her nose quickly and left her by the door wearing a surprised expression. He sat near the fire in a close replica of his father's old black leather chair. It scrunched under his large frame. "Josh, my wife says you need to spend the night up at camp."

The smile evident in Joshua's eyes, he said with seriousness, "Oh, don't worry. I already planned to bunk with Jeremy tonight."

Jason looked at Laurie and with his arms spread said, "See there? Open invitation."

Jeremy, Candy, and Molly chuckled.

Laurie's lips quirked, and then she giggled. "Well, seeing how romantically you put that, lover, I think we better get supper on as quick as possible."

"I'm never going to get used to how bold you can be," said Jason, watching her walk toward him. She might be a little rounder from carrying his baby, but she still lit a fire in him. In fact, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes off her all evening. Out loud while his eyes slid down her frame he said, "But I like it."

The moment the words were out, he realized what he had said. She pinched her lips together even though the apples of her cheeks were round. He heard Molly giggle and he couldn't take it anymore. A laugh burst out of him as he covered half his reddening face with his hand. His laughter grew infectious as it spread throughout the room.

Laurie shook her head and handed him their baby, still securely wrapped in a blanket, blushing. She kissed his cheek and said, "Hold Jamie for me, please. I just changed him. And you're incorrigible."

"Ahh," he murmured, his eyes crinkled at the edges. He maneuvered Jamie into a more comfortable position. "But you love me for it."

"Only on Sundays," she whispered, ruffling the curls on the top of his head.

"Good thing it's Sunday then," he whispered back. They both exchanged a promise with a look.

She started toward the kitchen door and loud enough for everyone else to hear, she said, "I'm going to check on the coffee. Supper's almost ready."

"Laurie, can Molly and I help?" Candy asked, headed toward the kitchen, Molly following close behind. "I had a few more questions about how the ceremony is done in Scotland."

"Sure. Oh, and don't let me forget. I meant to give you back that brooch today."

"I thought maybe you could pin that on me at the wedding, like..." Candy said, the door shutting behind her cutting off their conversation.

Jason grinned, watching them disappear into the kitchen area to talk over things women thought were important for an upcoming wedding. He settled back into his chair with his son on his chest and enjoyed the cozy feel of his home. While they hadn't completely rebuilt their cabin yet, the kitchen bare but functional, he had made most of it viable for winter. Laurie, true to her nature, had spent hours selecting fabrics and knick-knacks for the big room before Jamie was born. Nesting, Lottie had called it.

Surrounded by wood, Laurie had used brown and gold jacquard prints for long, extravagant curtains that blended with the braided rugs on the polished floor. The mantel had several tintypes of his family and his father's clock, a gift from his brothers. He had left his father's portrait with Jeremy, along with the ship he had bought them as a young man newly charged with raising his young brothers. Out of respect for that sacrifice, Laurie had Clancey pick out a painting that hung over the mantel for their "first anniversary" in March. It was full of earth tones; brilliant oranges and golds of a sunset reflected on the sea, with the silhouette of a clipper ship sailing on the horizon. Understanding the reference to the day he told her he loved her, he enjoyed gazing at the painting, remembering.

Jason smiled at Joshua across the room, and told his son, "We should tell Uncle Josh thank you for making your mother comfortable."

Jamie yawned.

Joshua stretched and took a seat next to him. "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing. You know, when Laurie said I should move in here so Jeremy and Candy could get married next month and build later, I knew it was a mistake."

"Not for me and Candy, it's not," Jeremy said, his cheeks filling out into apples with a deep smile, sitting down.

Jason's smile deepened. "That's very true."

Joshua shook his head. "You try getting some sleep over here. I must have been out of my mind."

"Now Josh, Laurie's been working extra hard to make sure he doesn't disturb you," said Jason, inclining his head toward the baby. "But if you want me to talk to her..."

"No. No, that's not what I mean." Joshua peered at the closed door and itched his red and black checkered shirt against his chest, lowering his voice when he spoke. "She sings to him when he wakes in the middle of the night."

Jason's eyebrows shot up. "I know. That bothers you?"

"Sometimes. When she's singing so softly, I can hear the tune but not the words. There's been a few songs I thought I recognized, and I stayed up all night trying to remember where I'd heard it before. They're too pretty to be anything I've heard in a dance hall. And it's not like we've ever hung out in a proper opera house like what Laurie sang in."

"Well Josh," said Jeremy. "Maybe you should just relax and let her s-sing you to sleep too."

"Oh, she does," said Joshua, blushing a little. "I feel like I'm intruding."

Jason half-closed his eyes. When Laurie had suggested they add on an extra room for Joshua and let Jeremy have the old cabin, Joshua wasn't the only one that thought she was crazy. Somehow, with promises of warm, delicious meals and life not changing too drastically, she had talked him and Joshua into it, Jeremy putting up little resistance. Winter storms were a little angrier than usual, and along with Jamie's entrance into the world, the work on the small room had taken longer than they had hoped. Still, once they had finished and Joshua moved in, his wife had been proven right: Joshua had fit in, and Jeremy and Candy's wedding sped forward without complications.

"Well, it's nice to hear those old Scottish lullabies again," Jason conceded.

"And that's not the worst of it," Joshua continued, a sidelong glance at Jason.

Jason chuckled, and Jamie stirred. "Oh, that was the one time. She was so embarrassed."

"Now wait. What happened?" Jeremy asked. He sat on the edge of Laurie's cushioned seat, revealing his hunger for yet another amusing Jason and Laurie tale.

Jason was still chuckling, his own cheeks still warm. Joshua grinned back and said, "Well, it was on a Friday. You know, after the doctor had told her she and Jamie were out of the dangerous stage."

Jeremy looked at Jason. "Yeah. That was a scary couple of weeks."

Jason silently agreed. Laurie had fallen ill a week after giving birth, and their newborn had suffered for it. A frightening time for them all, but Jason had been beside himself. He didn't like feeling helpless.

"So apparently Laurie put Jamie down for a nap, and she felt triumphant about it."

Jason snickered and put a finger to his mouth to hide his smile.

"Go on," said Jeremy.

"Well, what I saw when I walked in was Laurie sitting on top of Jason's lap, sidesaddle-like, and they were really, uh, into each other. It took me a full minute to get their attention."

Jeremy looked from Jason to Joshua and back again. "That's it?"

Joshua glanced at Jason. Jason shook his head at his brothers' discomfort. He had enjoyed that moment. He still thought it was too bad Joshua had interrupted them.

"When Laurie saw me standing over there," Joshua continued, pointing to the other side of the table, "she jumped off his lap and... you should have seen her face when she realized Jason had unbuttoned her top and slip it off her shoulders. She just stood there, her mouth open, staring at her corset." He started laughing. "She ran into the kitchen to button it back up. She was so flustered."

"I can't believe you'd do that with Josh here," said Jeremy.

Jason looked at him with feigned surprise and said, "It wasn't my fault."

Joshua laughed harder, shaking his head, and Jeremy looked confused.

Putting a wounded note to his voice, Jason continued. "There I was, reading, minding my own business while she put Jamie to bed. The next thing I knew, Joshua's interrupting a very enjoyable evening."

Jeremy's eyes grew wide. "You mean she... you don't, don't mean she's the one that, uh, uh, the one that..."

"Sat on my lap, plucked the book out of my hands, the bible no less, reverently placed it on the table, and then not so reverently kissed me. Before I knew what had happened, Josh was standing there. Honest, Josh. We thought you were in town having dinner with Mary Alice."

All three of them were chuckling, and someone knocked at the door.

"I'll get it," said Jeremy, standing up.

Jason looked at Joshua curiously, wondering why he brought that moment up now. "It hasn't happened again."

"Well, one other time."

"What?"

Jeremy, standing at the door, said, "Jason, you need to come here. It's Laurie's brother."

That was surprising. Since their wedding, Laurie had heard from Richard once a month by letter. He hadn't mentioned visiting.

"Outside, remember?" Joshua asked as Jason got up, arranging Jamie in his arms. "By the laundry line, just last week when we had that blast of warmer weather. You two looked like you had just gotten married if you take my meaning."

Jason frowned and walked toward the door and stopped. He turned and grinned. "Forgot about that."

"Yeah. I figured."

"All right, all right. I'll try to be more careful. But no promises with the lady of the house."

"Let's just get Jeremy's cabin built quick, hmm? There are some things a man shouldn't know about his brother."

Jeremy laughed, walking back to his seat. Jason focused his attention on the person waiting just outside the door, still chuckling. There was no maybe about it. They would make Jeremy and Candy's new cabin a top priority when the cutting season resumed.

Outside, grey clouds leaked a light rain over the cabin, as they deepened shadows and kept coolness in the air. Richard stood in a black slicker, his face somber. Behind him, an older, more robust man stood in the shadows under an umbrella. Jason hugged his son closer to his chest.

"Mind if I have a chat for a moment?" Richard asked him, his eyes falling on the baby.

"Of course, come inside. Laurie's in the kitchen with the coffee now."

"No, thank you. It'd be better if you came out here."

Jason's gaze swept over the lone figure with the umbrella again. Much older, Jason realized as the man shifted his weight back and forth, his shoulders slumped forward. "All right, give me a second to put Jamie down..."

"If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you brought him." Richard lifted an umbrella from his side and opened it for Jason to step under.

Jason paused, thinking of Laurie's reaction. She would be furious, and they might have an argument he'd rather not have. His gut told him this was something he should do though, so he sighed, grabbed Laurie's shawl to throw over the baby, and stepped under the umbrella. "You have no idea the trouble you're getting me into."

Richard grinned, closing the door after Jason stood on the porch. "Actually, I do. Kenna would make an Apache brave look like a teething toddler."

"You know what they say about she-bears."

"Don't mess with the cub," Richard agreed. "I promise, it'll only take a moment."

"That's what you said."

They met the man waiting in the shadows. His slicker was unbuttoned, and Jason could see he wore a fashionable suit with a dark brown overcoat, a pocket watch neatly placed in his front pocket with the gold chain hanging for ornamentation. His hair and beard were white, and he had dark creases for laugh lines around the eyes that reminded Jason of the way Laurie's cheeks pulled up to form upside-down smiles with her eyes when she laughed. He had full lips and a scar on the left side of his forehead. Jason felt a jolt of recognition and smiled.

Laurie's father had finally come to see her.

"Jason, this is my father, Donovan McConnell. Da, Jason Bolt, Laurie's husband. And this," he said, gesturing to Jamie, "Is their son. Your grandson."

Donovan extended his hand. "A pleasure to meet the man that's made my daughter a mother."

He had a thicker brogue than Laurie's, and Jason smiled deeper. He shook Donovan's hand and noted that though his youth may have faded, his grip was as firm as the man's gaze was fierce. "A pleasure. I know my wife will be glad to see you."

Donovan glanced at Richard.

"I'm afraid we don't have time for that," said Richard. The sadness in his voice struck Jason. "Tell her I'll visit another time."

Donovan gave him a sharp look but said nothing. Instead, he asked Jason, "Would you mind if I had a wee peek at the bairn? I'd like to see him before we go."

"Of course," said Jason, and put his child in the older man's arms. "His name is Jamie."

Richard glanced at the house. "Your father's name, then?"

"No. My father's name was Johnathon, and, well, since Campbell had used the alias John McAllister, it was too close for both of us. So Laurie picked her grandfather's name."

"Mum's da. I like it."

Donovan peeled back the blanket, and if anyone had asked him, Jason would have sworn twenty years came off the man in an instant. "Would you look at that, Richard? I bet he's a feisty one."

Jason chuckled. "Like a lion." He glanced at Richard, still feeling something off, and confidentially asked him, "You sure you can't spare a minute? You know what this would mean to her."

"Not my doing," Richard murmured. He looked at his father, who seemed enraptured with his grandson. "He's certain she's better off without him."

"Well, convince him he's wrong."

"Tried. It was an act of God to get him this far."

"Aye, because the old man cannae have a mind of his own." The older man glared at Richard but addressed Jason. "I told Richard I'd see my grandson, but I'll not trouble my daughter's life. She's done more'n all right without me, and seein' me would upset her, you ken?"

Jason stared at him. "She'll never forgive me," he said. "You... you can't do that. To her, to us. She'll never forgive me."

"Aye, that's why you won't tell her. My son tells me you're a good sort, and I'll have no cause to worry about you. I only just learned about the disaster she had to deal with before," he finished with a glare at Richard.

Richard glared back.

"But she loves you. We've even talked about coming to see you when Jamie is older!" Jason took a deep breath and in a more coaxing voice, he tried again. "Please, come inside. She'll fix you a cup of coffee and you can, ah, catch up. There's no trouble in a cup of coffee and conversation."

Donovan handed the baby back to Jason, pausing to kiss him on the forehead. "He's a sweet wee 'un, aye?" he asked Richard.

"Sure, Da."

Donovan lifted his eyes to Jason's. They stood for a moment, both locked in a steely stare. "Aye, Richard said you were strong," Donovan said at last. "That's good. Laurel always was the willful one."

"It's what kept her alive," said Jason, his voice soft. "Please. I promise, she'll be happy to see you."

"Thank you, no, Mr. Bolt. You don't know what's transpired between the two of us. I cannae interfere with what I've no right to. Richard, we should go before she makes her way out of their home, lookin' for the bairn. Besides, we've got ourselves a stage to catch."

Laurie's brother heaved a heavy sigh. "Fine. I'll walk Jason back to his cabin. That way Jamie here doesn't get wet."

The older man grunted his consent.

Jason walked back to the house in a stupor. When he was under the porch he said, "I can't believe this. She told me one afternoon that she'd never see him again. That he'd never allow it. I told her she was wrong. What do I tell her now?"

"Say your child was cranky and the sound of the rain soothed him," Richard said, tilting his head to the side. "Or didn't you know that?"

"Sure, but Laurie doesn't do it often. It hasn't stayed warm enough yet."

Richard smiled and shook his head. "That's sensible, like a woman. We're insensible men, or hadn't you heard?"

"I can't lie to her. I won't."

"Then tell her nothing. Or do you want to bring her more heartache? He won't see her, Jason. I wish he'd change his mind, but he's not going to. That's just the way it is. Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't stay. Business, you know. That's true, and something she'll believe."

Jason felt his gut twist, the monumental task of devastating his wife looming in front of him. "Maybe you're right. When does he go back to Texas?"

"He's not. He's staying with us in San Francisco."

"That close? But..."

Richard shook his head. "He believes he'll only hurt her more. She gets her stubbornness from him. That should tell you something." He touched Jamie's arm and said, "He's cute. Definitely has your looks, although I see a little of Laurie around the eyes. My girl is the same. Poor thing has a snoot like her father." He tipped his hat at Jason and left. Jason watched them leave, a hole in the pit of his stomach.

Jason walked back inside and quietly shut the door. His brothers looked up from their chairs, both popping up in an instant to hurry to him.

"What's wrong?" asked Joshua. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Jason shook his head, and still at a loss, kissed Jamie. "Oh, he just, ah, he had to leave. Business, you know."

"Molly just came in," said Jeremy. He brushed his brown hair out of his eyes. "She said they're about ready to serve dinner."

"That's fine."

Laurie opened the door with her backside, carrying a steaming bowl of venison stew. She set it on the table and with her hands on her hips, inspected the men by the door to make a quick assessment.

"Jason! What on earth? There's mud and water all over the floor!"

His lips drew in a straight line. God help him, he didn't want to lie, not about this. It was too unkind, what Donovan and Richard wanted, and yet, there might be some wisdom in it. She hadn't had a nightmare in months, although there were moments when he caught her holding her chest trying to breathe through a panicked state. Her smiles and laughter came more easily, and her Scottish brogue hadn't shown up since they were married, although now and then she clipped off her words.

"Jason stepped outside," Joshua told her. "Just long enough for Richard to see the baby, I guess."

Laurie's face went white. Jason shifted uncomfortably and wordlessly handed the baby to Molly, who had trailed behind Candy into the big room, carrying rolls, butter, and coffee.

"Laurie, I can explain."

"Explain what? Why isn't he here? Didn't you invite him in?"

"Of course I did, but he had things to do, and he said he'd see you at a later time. He just wanted to, ah, pop by to see his nephew." Well, that part was true.

"I don't understand. Why couldn't he wait? I was just in the other room." The pain in her voice was exactly what Jason had been afraid of.

"Maybe the man out there with him was in a hurry," Jeremy said.

"What man?" she asked, still looking at Jason. He sucked in his breath and sent Jeremy a scathing look.

"What did I say?" Jeremy asked Joshua. Joshua shrugged back.

Candy put her arm around Laurie, her eyes searching Jason's face. "Laurie, he probably had a prisoner or someone with him. Maybe we should all just sit down and—"

"Is that true? You took our son outside in the rain where there was a convict?!"

Jason rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips and said, "Of course not."

"Well, who was it?"

She wasn't angry. Not yet.

"Hey, Uncle Jason, Aunt Laurie!" Christopher called out, barreling through the door.

"Christopher!" Candy exclaimed. "How many times do I have to tell you to knock! And where have you been? You were supposed to come home after helping Reverend Adams after church. We had to leave without you."

"Oh, sorry." Christopher hung his slicker on the coat rack by the door. "I got to talking to Brodie. Hey, I saw Marshal McConnell on the road, talking to his father. They were pretty loud."

Jason nervously eyed Laurie.

"How do you know that's who was with him?" asked Candy.

"Well, the marshal called him 'Da,' like Aunt Laurie calls Uncle Jason when she's talking to Jamie. They were walking real slow on account his father wasn't moving very fast. Gee, Aunt Laurie, how exciting was it to see him again?"

The current between Jason and Laurie was enough to make Jason's hair stand on end. Her eyes telling him how hurt she was; his telling her how sorry he felt.

Christopher asked something else, but Jeremy muttered for him to stay quiet and wash his hands.

Laurie took in a deep breath and said with her voice abnormally cheery, "Well, we better all see to supper before it gets cold. Come along, everyone sit."

"Laurie..." said Jason. He could scarcely breathe, and the need to hold her made his arms ache.

"I'm fine, Jason. I trust you." She took Jamie from Molly to put him in his bed.

The mood around the table felt tense as each person took their place. Jason pulled a chair out for his wife, only to watch her take the seat closest to the door. Accustomed to her sitting next to him, he assumed she was angry. He asked Joshua to say grace, and together his family bowed their heads.

Except for Laurie.

Although Jason bowed his head, an inner voice told him to peer at her from the top of his eyes. As Joshua prayed, she jumped up and wrenched the door open. The cool breeze blew in, and the sound of rain intruded on their cozy home. Swearing under his breath, Jason followed her, grabbing a couple of slickers.

"Watch Jamie," he ordered his family. They all appeared to be poleaxed.

Jason barreled through puddles, muddy water coating his boots. The hem of her calico blue dress disappeared around the bend, looking like an apparition in the filtered sunlight. The rain beat against his face, and once he slipped. He cursed her childhood for teaching her how to navigate through the mud as though she were running on dry ground.

"DA!"

The anguish in her voice carried by the wind made his heart pound harder than the run. He rounded the bend and skidded to a stop beside Laurie. In front of them, Richard and Donovan faced her, the wind rendering the umbrella useless. Laurie didn't get any closer; didn't cry, didn't whimper. She just stared, the few steps between them a wide canyon without a bridge. Uncomfortable with the situation, Jason tried to put the slicker around her shoulders, but she took a step forward and let it slide off.

Richard was the first to speak, stepping somewhat hesitantly between their father and Laurie. "It was the boy, wasn't it? The moment I realized I said who Da was, I knew he'd tell you."

Laurie still didn't speak. Water poured down her face, suctioning her clothes to her body. Jason wondered if it was the sprint she had just taken or her raw emotions that caused her chest to rise and fall heavily. He waited to let her say something, anything, but when she didn't, he answered for her by saying, "Uh, yes, Christopher asked if she had enjoyed seeing her father. I'm sorry, there wasn't anything I could do."

Laurie glanced at him, and she took a few steps closer, the enormous gulf between them closing a little tighter. "Was I that much of a disappointment?"

Donovan's eyes narrowed, the older man obviously not understanding, but Jason knew exactly where the conversation was headed. Laurie, not just a jumper, but blunt as ever in her ability to come straight to the point.

"Darling, that wasn't the case," said Jason.

"He just wanted to—"

"I'll speak for myself," said Donovan, cutting his son off, his green eyes hooded. "Daughter, go back to your home and go on with your life. I'll not have you standing in the weather like a drunken heathen."

"Da," Richard said, sticking one of his thumbs in his belt loop, the reproof clear.

Jason's felt a pinch in his gut. This wasn't the same man who had confessed his fears only moments ago. One look at Laurie told him she was a young girl, once again being rejected by her father. Her face was white, her body shaking from head to foot, and her hands tore fiercely at one another before she smoothed her skirt. He hadn't seen that in a while either.

"I suppose that's true," Laurie said, her voice clear. Jason had expected her brogue to be in full force. "You gave me every advantage to better myself. And I'm sorry, Da. I never could get it quite right. Sister Agnes must have written to you how hopeless I am."

Jason slipped the slicker over her shoulders a second time, taking one of her hands and pulling it through, then the next, not saying anything. His heart broke for her. The opportunity to connect after years of separation, lost.

"I know you wanted me to be something, although I never understood exactly what. I tried to be a gentleman's wife with Sherman, and I was a failure. I completely failed him, Da. I was supposed to help him, and I just..." She looked away for a moment, a strangling sound coming out of her throat. She swallowed hard and focused on Jason. She touched his arm, and he wordlessly shook his head. Sighing, she refocused on the older man.

"I'm sorry I've disappointed you," she whispered, almost to where Jason didn't hear her. "I wish things could have been different. I wish you could stay. I wish with all my heart Jamie could know you. But I understand."

"Laurie, it's not like that," Richard said. Jason wasn't sure, but it looked as though her brother was swallowing just as hard as she was.

"And I'm sorry I didn't stay in bed," she continued, ignoring her brother. "I heard your voice, and Kenna wasn't with me. I thought you were reading to her. I knew the rules, but I just... I just wanted you to read to me. I just wanted you to... all these years, Da! You never wrote. You didn't try. You didn't even try!" She paused, shaking her head while she made horrific, mournful sounds into her hand before she continued, her voice dropping, slowly breaking into a whisper. "I hope someday you'll forgive me. Because I love you. I love you so, so much, Da. I'm so sorry. For everything."

Her tears were obvious now, despite the rain. She sniffled and bowed her head toward the ground. Without looking, she took Jason's hand, lacing their fingers together. "That's all I came to say. I'm sorry to you too, Jason. I shouldn't have worried you like that. I just couldn't let him leave and not say it."

Jason had no words. He looked past her at her father, who seemed suddenly stricken with old age. He put his arm around Laurie and steered her back to the cabin. Halfway there, she collapsed into a fit of sobs, unable to control the sweeping emotions that took control of her body. He held her for a moment, and realizing she wouldn't make it home without help, picked her up and with a little trouble, fit her to him with her head on his chest and carried her home.

Jason noted Candy holding the baby when he walked in, rocking him and making soothing sounds. He set Laurie down and tried not to notice her watching the water pooling on the floor from their clothes. With a few quick requests, he steered his wife into their room and stripped her bare. He dried her as best he could with the towel Molly gave him.

To help, Laurie picked up a skirt. Jason shook his head and took it from her. "Put on your nightgown and robe. Everyone here is family."

She did as she was told, and as she did so, he dried his own hair with a quick shake in the same towel and changed his shirt. Laurie mournfully watched him.

"I ruined the evening."

"No," he said, pulling her off the bed and into his arms. "I think it's exactly what you needed."

"I wasn't going to run after him," she said, her voice muffled from his squeeze. "Not at first." He loosened his grip, and she lifted her head to look at him. "I just did it. Without thinking. I knew if I didn't do it now, I wasn't going to get the chance to tell him."

Hard crying did little for her complexion. Her skin was blotchy and her eyes red, and yet she was still beautiful to him. "I know." He kissed her forehead and carried her back to the big room just as Jeremy opened the door. Jason quickly set her down by the fire.

"Where's Jamie?" Laurie asked. Candy put the baby in her arms, and she hugged him to her, gazing into his face just as Jason had seen other mothers do.

"Jason?"

He looked up to see Richard standing with Donovan in the doorway. He waved them in.

"I'll warm the coffee," Candy said, tucking a quilt around Laurie. "And we put the stew back on the stove, so I'll have Molly bring that back out as well."

"Thank you, Candy," said Jason, not moving.

The two men took their slickers off at the door, Jeremy hanging them up. Donovan edged toward Laurie, his eyes questioning Jason as he did so. Jason lowered himself to kneel in front of Laurie. She was still staring at Jamie, her eyes finally dry, but still carrying the heavy sadness he had witnessed outside.

"Darling, there's someone here to talk to you."

She touched his cheek and shook her head. "I'm so tired."

"Your father came back."

He felt more than saw her reaction, her hand going rigid, and for a moment he wondered if he had made a mistake. She lifted her head, and together they watched her father take the chair in front of her. When he offered his hand to her, she automatically took it. They sat like that for what felt like a long time.

"Uh, Richard, can I offer you something to eat?" Jason asked, motioning to the untouched food Molly and Candy were putting back out. Richard nodded, and the rest of the family resumed their places at the table.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Joshua asked, whispering on his way to the table.

Jason glanced back at his wife. "Sometimes you have to face the pain to heal."

"I don't know where you got the idea you disappointed me," Donovan started, silencing the rest of them.

Nervous for her, Jason motioned for Joshua to go on and walked back to stand beside Laurie.

"I never said no such a thing. A man'd have to be three sheets to the wind to think a woman who'd been through hell an' back with a good, strong husband an' a good lookin' bairn to show for it wasn't such to be proud of."

"Da..."

"No, you had your say. Now I'll have mine."

Laurie pinched her lips together, her shoulders slumping a little. "Okay."

"I wasn't mad at you for bein' awake that night. You heard my voice because I was arguing with that rascal Ronan McKenzie that lived by the sea in that shack of his. My friend? More like my shame! He was the reason you wasn't allowed up at night. Aye, it was because Ronan and I would stay up boozin' and plannin' things we never did. You remember those days, daughter. What it was like."

Laurie nodded.

"But that night he got it in his head to take yer wee friend with him. Said her mum wanted it that way. But I knew... I knew he meant the lassie harm," Donovan continued, shaking his finger fiercely. "He'd sell her to the damned English for a servant girl at best and at worst... well, worst is worst, and there's no right way to say more about that.

"He took her from yer bed, and I caught him. We fought, an' she got in the middle of it. I swear, I still don't know which of us it was that hit her. I was goin' to check on her when you came in, an' you not understandin'... You were so young, lass. Barely more than a bairn. You saw wee Kenna and you screamed. You were screamin' so loud it sounded as though a keenin' woman was about! Ronan hit you, tryin' to get you to stop, and I chased him out. Your brothers came in, an' I hated what I'd done. So ashamed of myself for lettin' you and the wee lassie get hurt, and there you were, couldn't even look yer da in the eye. An' not only that, but I knew the rascal was waitin' to take her if she left the house, an' told me if I didne give her to him, he'd come to take you instead.

"I went to Edinburgh to visit the widow. Aye, I knew she wanted me, and in such a sorry state I was in too. Not much of a bargain for her, but I could send you both to London, where I thought you'd be safe. Only they sent word you were plannin' an escape. Forgive me, daughter, it put the fear of God in me. Of all my kinfolk, I knew it'd be you that could do it. Aye, it was the biggest travesty of all, sendin' you to America. but Richard had already shipped out, an' the widow, well, she bein' a woman and all, I thought her idea to send you to that school to be a good one. I sent you there, believin' they trained the lasses there to be proper mistresses, an' they made good matches. I decided, if you couldn't have yer family, you might as well make a good one for yerself. I couldn't let you come home, lass. Ronan was furious, an' he no has a merciful bone in his body. He'll have taken you in the lassie's place, sure as I'm sittin' here."

"But Richard said you were in Texas when he married me to Sherman."

"Oh, aye. So I was, with the lass he was in love with. But I didne ken about such matters like Richard, so I sent yer brother to find a husband for you. And shamefully, I let the lass marry yer brother," he said, looking over her shoulder at Richard. "An' as she wasn't in love with Richard as much as he was in love with her, I know it to be a wise choice. A wee bit o' a problem, she's been. I saved Richard there, though he's still be wantin' to hold a grudge."

"Da."

Donovan shrugged at Richard as though to say he'd said all he had to say about the subject and looked Laurie in the eye. "I didne know about your first husband, or I'd have clubbed him myself. I'm ashamed, Laurie, that's the truth of it. I'm ashamed of what we let happen to you, what a terrible family we've been to each other. I don't want you to suffer, not no more. It's been long enough. I wasn't lookin' to hurt you today. Richard said I ought to bless the baby, and that's what I did, with those two yammerin' it out in the rain. Perhaps I should have trusted you more, but I confess, I was scared of the tongue lashin' I deserved. You were kind to me."

His thick thumb ran over the back of her hand thoughtfully, as though he were collecting his thoughts. Then he cleared his throat. "The truth of it, my wee, fiery lassie, is that I love you too. I always favored you the most, and I'll no be ashamed of that. You have your mother's gift of song, an' her shape. And if ever a treasure there be, it's a woman who has the look and spirit about her of the woman who bore her, a reminder to a man of the woman he loves beyond the grave."

He fell silent, and Jason, sensing Donovan was waiting on Laurie to respond, put his hand on Laurie's back. She looked at him, dazed, and whispered, "I don't know what to say."

Jason kissed the top of her head, and taking the baby from her, said, "Why don't you try, 'I love you too,' and invite him to eat with us. That's a good place to start."

She looked at her father. "I've always loved you, Da. And I'm sorry, I just..." She sighed, her eyes watery. "I just didn't know."

"You couldn't. We never told you, and that'll hang over my head until my dyin' breath."

"No. No, it won't, because I forgive it. Because without all of that, I wouldn't have Jason or Jamie. I wouldn't live in this lovely place, although like Scotland," she added, wrinkling her nose, "it rains too much." That brought a round of chuckles. "And I know it's not everything that St. Vincent's promised, but Jason is a good match, and I'm the happiest I've been in all my life. I can be who they brought me up to be without sacrificing who I am. That's a gift."

Donovan smiled and stood, helping Laurie to her feet. "Then blessed are we both, and I'm right proud of you."

They embraced, a long, squeezing hug that seemed almost desperate, and Laurie asked, "Would you like to have supper with us?"

"Aye. And then perhaps your brother and I could arrange longer of a visit if that would be all right between the two of you?" he asked Jason over her head.

Jason didn't need an affirmation from Laurie. The request was long overdue. "Absolutely. Josh, why don't you get that chair in the kitchen?"

"Good thing Aunt Laurie made you get a big table," Christopher said, scooting over. "This family keeps getting bigger."

"Just imagine what it'll be like when they have more babies!" Molly said.

Everyone laughed at Jason's sheepish expression, and Laurie walked arm and arm with her father to the table. Jason watched them, a warm, satisfied feeling growing in his chest. Jamie stretched and opened one startling blue eye to look at him, and Jason grinned. "Your mother's going to be just fine," he whispered and kissed the tiny hand that clung to his finger. He rejoined his family around the table, cherishing the look of joy in his wife's eyes, and the laughter and animated conversation that followed.

A harmonious life indeed.

The End