Earnest talks
Ying Kong Shi flew through the night, closely followed by a second Xian Xue Bird. He knew exactly where to find Yan Da. She would definitely try to go to her Blood Red Cherry Blossom Tree. That damn dragon! Why had he carried Yan Da away? Fear clutched his heart with an ice-cold hand. What if she couldn't stand the merging of the souls? Why had she collapsed when he approached her? Or had it been his closeness that had upset her? He flew a little faster, and then started a rapid descent when the west bank of the ice lake came into view. The old cherry tree stretched its branches in full bloom into the night sky. From above, Ying Kong Shi could see the strange, large spot on the ice, which was otherwise covered in white snow, and also the lonely footprints that led towards the Snow Fog Forest. With a thud, he landed, and transformed back into his human form. His eyes searched the area, but Long Wang seemed no longer around. Xian Xue now appeared in the turquoise-blue light and immediately approached the Ice Prince.
"Ying Kong Shi. Please wait. I must tell you something." Xian Xue pointed to the puddle in the lake. "Do you know why Long Wang brought Yan Da here?" Reluctantly, Ying Kong Shi turned around. "Of course I know that. Not far from here is the cherry tree which is connected to her soul. She planted it for me so that I should never forget how much she loves me. Why are you asking me this? Do you want to show me that you know her better than I do?" Xian Xue looked up in surprise, Ying Kong Shi seemed to be more unsettled by Yan Da's disappearance on the beach than he had thought. „Then go ahead, show me how much better you are for her. I understand that you did everything right that I couldn't when you spent with her those happy sixty years in the time stream." Xian Xue froze. He really liked Ying Kong Shi. But now his descendant went too far. The Ice Bird Spirit angrily raised a finger and a single beam of light shot out. With the movement of his hand, the glistening ribbon wrapped itself around Ying Kong Shi, and tied him to the trunk of the old tree.
"Listen to me, you bitter child! It's not your fault that it didn't work out on earth the way you wanted it to. But what is your fault is that you let Yan Da die twice without her hearing your last words. Until today in the morning, in the Realm of Transition, your Yan Da never knew you were in love with her. I tried to tell her about your feelings for her a thousand times in those sixty years, but she simply couldn't believe me, she didn't dare it, she had been disappointed and tricked by you too often. All that old Yan Da ever knew was that you, while she was alive, avoided her as best as you could. You left her in the dark about your feelings for ages. You were so good at rejecting her that, on earth, she finally accepted that you would never love her, only Ka Suo. Can you, in your twisted brain, even understand that she didn't just sacrifice herself for you, Ying Kong Shi?
She ended her life for you. It was the one last thing she could do, getting out of the way and setting you free. It's infinitely sad, but the truth is, she no longer wanted to feel that her love for you was unwanted. And she didn't want to live without you either. I think she ultimately saw dying for you as the best and only way to make something good out of her second existence. It never came across her mind, that you had brought her back to life, not only to use her as a tool, but out of love, and hope, that you could bring her back to the past of the Ice Fantasy World to be her friend.
But you and I, we know the truth, don't we? You went on your journey not only for Ka Suo. Why have you never told Yan Da that you wanted to bring her back to a fresh start as well? Why didn't you let Yan Da know that you had hopes to be with her? If she had known how much you loved her all along, then Yan Da wouldn't be caught in her doubts now. That's what I would NEVER have done wrong, at least not TWICE. If you really want to be blamed, then here, you can have as much blame as you want from me! But do you love your guilt more than your soulmate? It disgusts me that you continue to act out your complexes at Yan Da's expense. I wonder if you will ever grow up! We all made mistakes, but if you leave everyone in the dark about your good intentions and feelings, then everyone is right to condemn you. Tell Yan Da what you were up to! Tell her, tell all the friends who came here with you from the old days because they believed that their King Ka Suo was right in choosing you as the next king." Xian Xue's eyes were such a bright turquoise that they appeared almost white. Ying Kong Shi had never seen his ancestor so angry. The anger that hit him was like a cold shower and froze him equally to the tree as the mighty power that radiated from Xian Xue's binding spell. "I'm going to Yan Da now and I'll hear what she has to say. You can save yourself the trouble of trying to break free. My magic is superior to yours a thousand times." With that, the Bird Spirit trudged off, ignoring the shouts of the tied und struggling Ying Kong Shi he left behind.
It wasn't long before Xian Xue found Yan Da. She sat under her blood-red cherry tree. She had taken off her broken armor. Her shoulders and legs were only partially covered by the torn remains of her red dress. She had loosened her braided hairstyle, and her long hair flowed down her body to her hips. As she sat there, barefoot, and her mouth red from the juice of the cherries from her tree, she appeared strangely young and wild to Xian Xue. Never before had he seen her so free, so erotic. He gulped, his steps slowed as if he didn't dare to approach her any further. But Yan Da seemed to have other plans. "Come closer, my friend. I have something to discuss with you." Hesitantly, Xian Xue followed her request. An uncomfortable silence fell between them, that Yan Da finally broke by handing over some cherries to him. They tasted sweet and calmed the Bird Spirit's mind.
"Xian Xue, tell me, how do you like the cherries? Isn't it wonderful, we can really enjoy their taste. Being part of reality is a gift you fundamentally learn to cherish when you have been a spirit without a shell for a long time. No illusion can replace this!" Xian Xue smiled shyly at her, and nodded. Suddenly, Yan Da reached out with her arm, and draw him close, placing his head in her lap, as Yan Zhu had used to do when he was just a small boy. It took Xian Xue some seconds to overcome his surprise, but then he sighed in relief, knowing there was nothing in this world that could replace this feeling in his heart, being with her in such a peaceful way.
With her fingers, she gently played with his head feathers. "I'm here again, and it was you who brought me back. I'm grateful to you, Xian Xue… and I'm not. You and Ying Kong Shi, you were both cruel to me, each in his own way. The one loved his brother more than anything, and found no place in his heart for me. The other taught me to have faith in love again, and still accepted having to leave me as the price for this new beginning. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in both of you. But there are these two women in me now: the one who had an incredibly happy time with Ying Kong Shi here in this new beginning. And the older Yan Da who learned to love you in the time stream, Xian Xue. I try to do justice to both of them.
I have loved every form your soul took on unconditionally for all of my lives. But now I can no longer continue this way. I owe it to myself to live a happier life. You asked me to come back and share his memories with Ying Kong Shi. But lately I realised that this is not enough. I want him to share my memories as well… my memories with you. If there shall be a future between our two souls, then I have a condition: I want you to make another bargain with the Blood Red Lotus. I want you to transfer your memories to Ying Kong Shi just as I received Yan Zhu's memories. I want you to be a part of him. I love him, but I can't bring myself to let down my guard completely. I know, somewhere in my mind, the younger Yan Da tries to assure me, that I can believe in Ying Kong Shi's love. But in my own memories, there were times I wasn't even sure he saw me as a friend. If I knew that you were a part of him, it would be easier for me to trust him."
Xian Xue stared at Yan Da. "My trade with the Blood Red Lotus demands that my life ends. I cannot be part of this new world." "I know, Xian Xue… but don't you think it's worth a try? After everything you've told me about her, the spirit of the Blood Red Lotus Flower is kind to you. I am aware that she will demand a price for it. I know you know not only everything of the past, but of this future as well. Tell her to take away your knowledge of this future. I'm sure she will agree." Xian Xue looked down to the ground. "Yan Da, I just had a fight with Ying Kong Shi. We often disagree when it comes to you. Believe it or not, he loves you, and not just the girl he met in this fresh start, but you, the one that supported him through thick and thin. His love for you still fights with the guilt in his heart. But if this is your condition, let's go and talk to him. To be earnest, I have a feeling that he won't accept my memories become a part of him." "Let that be my concern, Xian Xue. He can't deny me anything after having died for him twice. And if he wants me, then it's now time for his payback."