Chug's Two Cents

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"Shhhh. The lights are out, she must be sleeping," Curry whispered

"Then light a damn lamp and wake her up," Chug suggested gruffly.

"It don't work like that in Kate's day. You can't just light a lamp. It takes something Kate calls electricity," Heyes explained in a quite tone.

"What's 'lectricity?" Chug asked.

"It's got something to do with wind or water," Heyes whispered.

"Well I can see where wind might be useful but how do you start a fire or light a lamp with water?" Chug asked.

Heyes and Curry looked at each other, then both shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders.

"We don't know, Chug. In fact, there's lots of things in Kate's day that we can't explain," Heyes replied.

"Like what?' Chug asked.

"Well, electricity for one," Heyes said. "Then there's something she calls a Delete button..."

"That one's really dangerous," Kid added. "Hell that whole computer thing is dangerous. Best to keep her away from that as much as you can."

"So we just wait here? In the dark?" Chug asked.

Heyes and Curry both nodded. "If you know what's good for you," they said in unison.

Kate moaned and shifted slightly in her bed. "Heyes," she mumbled. "Is that you?"

"Sorry Kate, we didn't mean to wake you."

"If you didn't mean to wake me, you wouldn't be standing here in the dark cackling about wind and water now would you?" Kate asked as she reached over and turned on the bedside lamp."

"How did you do that?" Chug exclaimed. "That some kind of magic?"

Started by an added voice in the room, Kate bolted to a sitting position and pulled the sheet up to her shoulders. "Who is that?" she demanded.

"You don't recognize your own creations?" Kid asked. "It's just Chug."

"Chug? Why did you bring... You're in my bedroom fellas, in the middle of the night. Do outlaws have no sense of decency? What do you boys want?" Kate asked, working hard to keep the irritation out of her voice for the sake of the newcomer.

"It ain't like you're entertaining nobody, and Chug's been puzzling over some things, Kate. So we figured it would be best to let the answers come straight from the horse's mouth," Kid replied.

Chug nudged Kid with his elbow. "Apparently she ain't one of your girlfriends, talking to her like that. Maybe she's just taking a night off, and she may not be a tiny little thing like Clementine, but she ain't no horse!"

"And she ain't no girlfriend. And neither is Clementine, Chug!" Kid retorted.

"Still, you oughtta show more respect," Chug scolded.

"Chug's right Kid. Remember them cold baths, and that's when she's being nice to you," Heyes cautioned in a voice he mistakenly thought low enough to escape Kate's ears.

Despite her sleepiness, Kate pinched her lips tight to curtail a smile. She liked the fact that someone other than she was putting Kid in his place.

"Turn around, all of you," Kate told them and when they complied, she lowered the sheet, reached for her bathrobe, and slipped it on, cinching the tie securely. "Alright, you can turn around again. Now, what is it you're wanting to know?"

"Let's start with this 'lectricity," Chug replied.

"Let's start with the reasons you came here," Kate replied, knowing she was not in possession of a sound understanding of the mechanisms of electricity.

"Well, we was explaining to Chug how you're the one, or rather one of the ones, that puts Kid and me in all these different situations," Heyes began.

"And that's how we come to know Chug," Kid added. "Because of your genius with a pen...or... a keyboard."

"All true," Kate replied. "But what's that got to do with you being here in the middle of the night?" she asked.

"Well I got me a slew of questions about all that," Chug said gruffly.

Kate sighed heavily. "Where would you like to begin?" Kate asked.

"Might start with where I come from? Heyes and Kid here both have a history, a childhood, an outlaw life, a trying for amnesty life, all that sort of thing. But me, I just up and found myself cooking for a bunch of scroungy cowboys. Oh sure, you give me a dead wife and four sons I ain't seen a good long time, but no growing up years."

Kate was quite perplexed. "The way I understand it Chug, you have to be one of the stars to have a developed childhood," Kate replied.

"Says who? You got some list of rules you gotta follow?" Chug asked with a bit of challenge in his voice.

Kate gave Heyes and Curry a pleading glance but they both remained silent. "No, not exactly," she said hesitantly.

"Then what keeps you from given me a childhood? You make me some old man who can't handle the cowboy work no more, so I get shoved into doing... woman's work!"

"Chug, being the bunkhouse cook is not women's work. Why I've never heard of a single woman willing to do that kind of labor," Kate replied, hoping to boost Chug's morale a bit.

"I can see I ain't gonna get nowhere with the likes of you," Chug snorted, then turned to Kid. "I thought you two said she was reasonable!"

"I'm not sure reasonable was the word we used," Kid replied and instantly regretted opening his mouth.

"You don't think I'm reasonable?" Kate asked. "And be careful how you answer that Kid, because the pen is mightier than the sword, or the six shooter."

"Kate, you've got to admit that Kid's been in pain and agony more days than we spent as outlaws," Heyes said, hoping his silver tongue was being diplomatic enough not to stir Kate's ire. "You do hold his fate in your hands... a lot."

Kate remained silent as she threw the covers back, climbed out of bed, and sat down in front of her computer.

"Now you've gone and done it Heyes," Kid said with both fear and despair in his voice. "Kate, he didn't mean that the way it sounded."

Kate turned on her computer and logged in. "What kind of childhood would you like, Chug?" she asked while ignoring the two outlaws.

"What in tar-nation is that?" Chug asked as a blue glow emitted from the computer screen.

"That Mr. Walters, is you destiny. Your past, present, and future," Kate replied.

Chug looked nervously at Kid and Heyes as they both squeezed their eyes closed and pinched their faces up tight.

"I knew it was a bad idea bringing him here," Kid said. "But noooo, you and that brilliant mind of yours, Heyes. 'It'll be fine, Kid. She'll answer all his questions, Kid. She ain't gonna hurt you, Kid..."

"Shut up, Kid," Heyes snarled.

"Kate, I hope you don't mind my saying, but you're the one responsible for my being here, not them boys. Sure they brung me along to talk to you, but you're the one who molded me into this crotchety old man. You're the one that gave me a sharp tongue..."

"And a mind just full of profound wisdom," Kid added, trying to appease Kate with his own attempt at flattery with the use of a silver tongue.

"You're right. You're all right. And I'm willing to give Chug whatever kind of childhood he would like."

"Just a happy and peaceful one would be fine," Chug replied.

Kate quickly typed out several paragraphs, then stopped and leaned back in her chair.

"Okay, come look at this and tell me if it meets your satisfaction Chug."

Chug looked questioningly at Heyes and Curry and they both nodded and urged him to look over her shoulder. He approached slowly and read each word carefully. His smile grew wider the more he read.

"Well that's just fine. Look here boys, I'm a Kansan too. That must be why we get along so well."

Heyes and Curry approached timidly and read Chug's childhood history.

"Ah Kate, that is sweet," they both cooed.

"You even gave him a pet dog," Kid added.

"So, anything else you need to know about your life Chug, or can I go back to sleep?"

"That pretty much takes care of it, except explaining 'lectricity."

"Heyes, take Chug to a library and look up Benjamin Franklin. That will give you as much knowledge of the workings of electricity as I have," Kate replied.

"You ready Chug," Kid asked. "It is late and she obviously does need her beauty sleep."

"I'm warning you Kid. You shouldn't go around waking up, and insulting an insomniac. We insomniacs do some of our most creative writing in the middle of a sleepless night. Your next injury won't be pretty and might just be fatal..." Kate warned.

"Alright. Alright. I take it back," Kid said.

"Now, one more thing," Kate said. "Would you boys try to remember that if you're not actively engaged in some dangerous or life-threatening plot, then it is likely because it's nighttime here and I'm sleeping, or at least trying to sleep."

"But when we're involved in some dangerous or life-threatening plot, we're too busy to stop by and visit," Kid argued.

"Kate smiled. "Exactly Kid. Now Good Night!"