The entire time that Andrew was talking, Yang did not take her eyes off him. She listened to every word that he said, and she never spoke, taking in the whole story of how her former teacher became the man that was sitting in front of her. Looking at his face she could see that the person that she had known at Beacon was gone and instead, a broken and disheartened being was there in his place. It was as if all the life that he had before was now drained away leaving a hollowed-out husk sitting in the chair opposite her. As she went to speak, Andrew was holding his head in his hands with his real hand turning white under the strain he was gripping his face.
"That… that can't be what happened." Andrew looked up from his hands, tears still running out of his red eye.
"It was. That was the day I killed team CULA."
"It can't be. You're Professor Tinman…. You're…... You're supposed to be the hard ass teacher with no emotion who's always looking out for us. I can't believe that this happened, that this is what made you."
"You really think that I'd make something up like this?" She was wanted to deny it, but she could not after seeing what he had become sitting next to her.
"No, of course not but…. It was just that you're…... You're the teacher who never got it wrong, the one who regardless of the threat he'd knock it away with a laugh."
"Not the man you expected am I Yang?" She was quiet for a moment as she tried to make sense of what he had told her.
"It wasn't something you could have seen coming. It was all just bad luck that's all. Just a mission that went wrong." Andrew sighed.
"I didn't think about what else could have been there, I was only focused on what I could see in front of my eyes. If I'd have waited, then maybe…..." he trailed off to wipe the tears from his face then continued "Maybe the whole thing could have played out differently. Instead of them running into the unknown to pull my ass out of that mess, we might have seen that creature before it attacked, thought of a way to combat it." he then grabbed his cybernetic hand "And we could have all walked away." Yang shook her head in denial.
"No, you'd never do anything like that. I refuse to believe it." Andrew half smiled.
"Why is this so important to you Yang? Why is it so important to you to believe that this is all a lie?" Yang looked back startled but replied.
"Because…... If you can be beaten, then what hope do I have?" Andrew looked down in shame. The fact that Yang was so upset made him wonder if he had screwed this up even more, so he added.
"I'm sorry to say that you don't know me as well as you think. Because of my stupidity and arrogance, I cost each member of my team their lives. That is something I must live with every day and these parts are a reminder of that." He said while gesturing to his cybernetics and looked back to Yang. "Can't you see now why I push you so hard? Why I hated it when you and your team ran off without thinking?" He could tell Yang was going to say something to try and argue but then looked at her own arm and slumped into defeat.
"You always said that you didn't want us to turn out like you, I just thought you meant the cybernetics but now I see you mean something deeper." Andrew nodded in agreement.
"It's why I teach that class at Beacon. Each one of those missions I put you through were ones designed to stop you making the same mistakes I made in my life."
"And I failed." Suddenly he felt a surge in him as he turned to Yang.
"No, you didn't. Not by a long shot. I won't sit here and let you put yourself down like that. Yang, if you're going to mark everything you've done as equal to this one defeat and make me out to be something to aspire to then I've failed as a teacher." Once more, silence took over the room and through the window, Andrew could just about hear Tai saying goodbye to Peter and Barty. He had been a lot longer than he had intended to be, but he could not leave, not yet.
"Why did you tell me this?" she asked as she stared at the floor. Andrew took a deep breath and tried to steady his mind so he could speak clearly.
"To show you that no matter how far you fall, you can always come back from it." she slowly looked up at him, so he continued. "No one out there has gone through life without failing, without losing something or someone dear to them. The real hardship is putting yourself back together afterwards, that is where you find out what kind of a person you really are." Yang turned her head as she too was listening to the others outside for a moment then said.
"I can't be the same person I was before this, I just can't. I'm not sure if I want to be her anymore…"
"You're right, you can't be the same as you were before its impossible. But, if you still know that you are you, that your soul still burns within you then you can remake yourself a thousand times over. Each one different from the last but still with the essence of what makes you, what makes you Yang Xiao Long."
"I don't think I'm ready yet."
"That's alright, this is something that you can't just get over in a night or even a couple of months. Everyone can say you need to get back out there and stop feeling down but it's not something you can just walk off. When you know that you are ready is the only way you can move forward, not when someone tells you to be."
"What if I can't do that, what if I'm not strong enough?" She brough her legs up and wrapped her arm around them to hide her face from him.
"You are, you are so much stronger than you know." She did not move.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because if someone like me can do it then you'll have no problem. Afterall, you are already so much stronger than me." She raised her head and for a moment and was surprised.
"What?" Andrew nodded.
"I don't lie Yang. Even when I was younger and whole, I couldn't hold a candle to you." She smiled but it seemed a little forced.
"Is that so? Then I guess I could give it a try." Andrew sighed with relief, this was only the first of many steps, but it was a big step and one she needed to make. "Can I just ask; how did you do it? What was your secret for coming back from…. That?" Andrew ran his hand over his face and suddenly a faint smile appeared as he seemed to remember something.
"It was because I had the right people to help me." He then placed a comforting hand on Yang's shoulder "And so do you." His half smile was supposed to reassure her but behind it was a man who was still trying to fix himself. Regardless of how he was feeling though, he did his best to put it to the back of his mind and focus on helping someone who needed him more. "When you're ready, we'll all be there for you. Even a busted down old cyborg like me." Yang laughed a little as a few tears escaped her eyes.
"I suppose you'll have do." Andrew then laughed to, but his mind was now stuck on a permanent loop of the worse day of his life, so he decided that he needed to leave before it got any worse.
"On that note, I'll leave you to get some sleep Yang." He pushed himself off onto his feet and nearly collapsed as his cybernetic arm and leg did not want to take his weight. He caught himself before he lost his balance just as Yang went to stand and catch him, however he waved her off with his real arm. She stopped for a few moments while he was motionless and only when he took a step towards her bedroom door did she eased back onto her bed.
"Are you sure you are okay Andrew?" Andrew continued to walk awkwardly out of her room and when he reached the door, he grabbed the doorframe to stabilise himself. With a bit of support, he looked back at Yang and took a deep breath before replying.
"I'll be okay. You just get some rest." She nodded to which Andrew added "Yang, promise me something before I go."
"Anything."
"Forget what you thought you knew about me, about how you used to view me. That man doesn't exist." She titled her head but with a breath she replied.
"Sure, I prefer this professor anyway." Andrew half smiled with a nod then started to walk back over to the stairs. Going down them was a challenge and without him almost sliding down the wall he was certain he would have fallen all the way down. When he reached the bottom, he could hear Tai tidying up the kitchen and decided that he would try and leave before he noticed him. He took terribly slow deliberate steps to both reduce the noise and to make sure he did not fall over by putting too much weight on his unstable leg. He got to the front door and reached for the handle when he heard Tai clear his throat.
"You trying to leave without saying goodbye? If you're not careful then you'll become more like Qrow." Andrew stopped and let his arm fall to his side as he turned to look at Tai. "My god! What's wrong? Happened to you?" Tai started to move over to Andrew as he once again wiped his face.
"Oh sorry, I'm not really too good Tai so I'm just heading off."
"Not like that you're not." Tai was now next to him and was trying to look him over. "Did Yang say something to upset you?" He snapped his head to look up the stairs "I'll go and have a little chat with her about…" Before Tai marched off, Andrew grabbed his arm which forced him to look back.
"It's nothing to do with her." Andrew said through a wheeze and Tai froze. They were silent for a while as Andrew continued to breathe a little erratically. Afterwards he slowly released his hand from Tai's arm.
"I can't just let you leave like that, come on. Let me set you up somewhere to lie down for a while." Andrew shook his head.
"Please don't. Look, I'm just going to go to my vehicle and sleep in there." He did not want Yang to see him like this, this was the last thing she needed to see. He was trying to get her to back to normal and if she caught sight of him now then it might have the opposite effect. Tai looked at Andrew with a face that was both confused and defeated.
"Even back at Beacon, none of us could stop you from doing what you wanted. Not even Carissa." He sighed "At least let me walk you back there so I can be sure you got there safely." Andrew thought about it for a few seconds then shook his head.
"No, thanks but I need to be alone right now. I'll message you when I get there, will that do."
"Not really but it's kind of the best I'll get. Just be careful out there okay?" Andrew nodded as Tai went to open the door for him, letting in the light of the moon. Andrew began walking again just as he had been, it took him some time to reach the end of Tai's garden and only after he had walked a few steps more did he then hear the sound of the front door close. He looked back briefly to make sure that Tai had not come out after him to which he had not so Andrew carried on walking back to his airship.
As Andrew left Tai's house, he felt like his entire being is about ready to crumble, it was as though he was one step away from shattering into a thousand pieces. Slow as he was walking through Tai's house, he was almost stationary as he took one step at a time towards his shuttle through the woods. He could not get the memories out of his head now that they were free and could no longer contain any more. He continued to walk back to his aircraft in the void he was creating within himself, he could sense nothing was registering to him because his mind was so fixated on the horrors he caused on that fateful day. His cybernetics were even worse now as he tried to move them, he was now dragging his leg through the dirt, not even caring that his boot and trousers were become slick with mud.
"I haven't changed." He whispered to himself as he thought about what had happened in recent months. Once again due to his weakness', he had been unable to save the lives of either Ozpin or Pyrrha and had to walk away from it with the weight of shame. After a wobbly step he finally gave up and fell to his knees, landing in the mud. He reached up and clutched his head in his real hand as tears began to pour from his one good eye.
"What's the point in me? Why should I bother anymore?" he then slammed his cybernetic fist into the ground, and then again and again until he let it rest in the mud. He could no longer contain his sorrow as he started to scream in agony, warm tears streaming down the right side of his face. There was nothing left, at this moment he had given in and thought about ending it all, to free himself from his misery…...
So, you're just going to give up?
The voice in his head was not his own which caused him to look in all directions for the one who said it. Oddly, it sounded awfully familiar like a voice from a family member he had not seen in years. He wiped his face and tried to stand but could not find the strength to do so.
That is not like you, you were always the strongest.
There it was again and now he finally managed to force himself to his feet and frantically looked all around for the source. This time the voice was from someone different but with the same feeling as the first.
That's not why we saved you Andrew….
Now that he was thinking slightly clearer than before, the owner of the third voice that he heard came to him instantly and he nearly hit himself for not realising sooner. He hobbled over to a nearby tree then fell against it, sliding down until he was sitting in the mud.
"Damn it…. Why can't you three leave me be. Even after all this time you're still stuck in my head!" He began to cry as he felt the nails of his clenched fist begin to dig into his palm. "I guess leaving team CULA wasn't as easy as I thought…."
Years earlier.
The first thing that came to Andrew was pain, a pain unlike anything he had felt before as if his body had been dropped in lava. His eyes started to blink open, he could hear mechanical bleeps emanating from all around him and it sounded like they were getting louder and more erratic. He tried to move but his body would not respond and after only a couple of seconds several individuals appeared around him. He could not quite hear what they were saying as it was muffled but they seemed to be in a panicked state and started to rush around him. He was not concerned about them though, he needed to get out of this situation, so he thrashed to escape his current circumstances which only made the people around him more frantic. Suddenly, a few of them were holding him down while another was preparing a syringe of something so Andrew thrashed more and the pain, he felt was now even worse than before. Before he could do anything else, an unexpected sensation overcame him like a numbing euphoria, and he found himself quickly drifting back into unconsciousness.
When he awoke again, he took things a little slower and this time looked over his room and after a few seconds confirmed what he already knew. He was indeed in a hospital, the light coming through the nearby window showed him that he was surrounded by medical equipment. He wanted to shift himself up so he could sit upright but to his annoyance found that only one arm moved and as he looked at the other one, horror struck him as there was no arm to move.
"Oh my gods." He gasped as he felt like he was going to go into shock again while he took several more exacerbated breaths through his respirator.
"Hay you're awake." Andrew heard the voice come from somewhere in the room and to his surprise, it was the same voice he had heard before when he was out in the wilderness. he turned over to see a familiar face looking back at him in the form of Qrow who was sitting in a chair across from him. He looked exhausted, most likely he had not slept in some time. Before Andrew could say anything, Qrow raised his hand to stop him and continued talking. "It was looking a bit touch and go there for a while but at least you're back in the world of the living."
"Where am I? What's happened to me?!" He tried to raise his voice, but the very act of speaking was like forcing sandpaper through his throat. Qrow then sighed.
"You're in a hospital in Vale, it was the only place we could properly treat you in time."
"You…. you brought me here?"
"Yeah, I did." Qrow paused for a moment, his voice did not fill Andrew with confidence as he then continued. "Listen, I've got to tell you the bad news first so that you don't panic yourself and cause more damage. You understand?" Andrew looked down at his body and found it strange that even though he could see that he had been operated on, he could not feel a thing. After a few more seconds he looked back to Qrow and nodded slowly.
"You're pretty messed up, aside from your arm which had to be amputated your left leg also had to go. Due to how long it took me to get you back to Vale, they had turned septic and there was nothing that could be done to save them. Also, even though your eye is still intact, you can no longer see through it." Because he could not feel a thing, most likely because of highly effective pain killers flooding his body, he had not even noticed that his leg was gone to. "The main problem was your abdomen though; it was struck by a Deathstalker stinger. It caused a lot of damage which in turn caused some of you inners to rot so were also removed. You're only alive right now thanks to the medical equipment in this room keeping you here. I'm so sorry we couldn't do more." Andrew was not sure how to feel about any of this because he could not feel anything, so it all felt like it was not real. After some time and through controlled breathing, he then stared right at Qrow.
"Where's the rest of my team?" his voice was filled with dread and a small amount of hope as he waited for Qrow's response.
"They… didn't make it Andrew. I'm so sorry." Andrew turned away as all the memories of that encounter filled his mind. He wanted to scream but could only managed a few sobs as the machines around him started to bleep louder and faster. Qrow suddenly shot up and rushed over to his bed.
"Hay! You got to stay calm man! You're only going to make yourself worse!" Andrew wanted to push him away, but his strength had left him so instead with his only hand he simply brushed him.
"Why didn't you leave me where I was?! Why didn't you just let me die too!?"
"What?! I couldn't do that; I'd never do that! Why would you want me to leave you to die?"
"Because I should have, I deserved to die after what I did!" Qrow paused.
"What happened?" Andrew suddenly stopped as tears began to run down his face.
"I got them all killed." Qrow stopped and for some reason he looked ashamed.
"No, you didn't, it was just a bad…."
"NO! I did! They all died because of me!" Managing to raise his voice only served in making him cough violently while Qrow went to call for assistance with the call button. "Don't press it!" Qrow stopped suddenly.
"You need help, just calm down!"
"You press that, and I swear I'll kill you! I'll make you regret not leaving me where I was!" Andrew was waving his arm around now but with no force in it, he was simply trying to stop Qrow from hitting the button. Qrow however was not deterred and was now ignoring him as he deftly avoided his frantic waving and brushed his arm aside in order to hit the button. Andrew then started to pat himself down as he searched for the lines that were attached to the machines around him.
"Don't you dare you stubborn moron!" Qrow now grabbed his arm and held it down with little ease. "I'm doing this for your own good." His voice was calm, he never raised it. He then proceeded to hold Andrew in place until the nurses came in and took over. The whole time Andrew was hollering like a wounded animal, in this moment Qrow did not see his friend but a tortured and angry beast. After Andrew had been sedated again did Qrow then go back over to him, he looked at Andrew's face and could see he had been crying from the tears that had damped his pillow. "I'm so sorry Andrew, but I couldn't let you die."
A few days went by and Qrow stayed in Vale, close to the hospital so that when Andrew did wake up and was in a more talkative mood then he could try and bring him around. He had tried to contact Carissa, but he could not reach her so instead wrote a letter to Oakfields under her name and hoped it would reach her. He checked in on Andrew every day for a week and most of the time he was in a coma or close to one, the one time he was awake he was barely even aware of where he was or what had happened. It was into the second week that Qrow finally got to see a more responsive Andrew.
"Morning." Qrow said as he entered his room with a knock on the door. Andrew was lying down in his bed with all the machines still around him but this time his only arm had been restrained. Qrow was not sure if Andrew had heard him but could see that he was in fact awake. "How are you feeling?" He knew it was a stupid question, but he just wanted Andrew to respond.
"Get out."
"That good huh?" Qrow then walked in and sat down in the chair again whilst he pulled out his drinking flask to take a sip.
"Get out." Andrew did not change the tone of his voice, just repeated his previous words.
"Sorry but that isn't going to happen. Besides, you can't make me in your condition." The room was quiet for a long time as Qrow sat with Andrew who was just staring up at the ceiling. Eventually Qrow spoke up "I hear that you're refusing to go through any rehabilitation therapy. You intending to spend the rest of your life in that bed? I can tell you now, it's going to get pretty boring." He heard a grumbling sigh from Andrew.
"Well, that's your fault isn't it. If you had helped me die when I asked you then neither of us would be here right now."
"Really? This is my fault now?"
"That's what I just said. So I'm on suicide watch, this is my life until I finally die naturally. However long that takes."
"Ever the dramatic one hay Andrew." Qrow joked as he took another sip from his flask while Andrew slowly turned his head so he could see Qrow.
"You think this is funny?" His voice was dripping with venom as Qrow snorted.
"Not in the slightest, just pointing out that this is all because you refuse help because you think you deserve this."
"I do. I'm a monster who killed his friends. People like me shouldn't be allow to live."
"You're not a monster and you didn't kill them, the Grimm killed them." Andrew turned away and Qrow saw him clench his eyes closed and looked to be in a lot of pain. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…"
"Get out. Get out! GET OUT!" Qrow never moved, he did not say a word and sat by his friend for another hour before they were interrupted by another person joining the room. Qrow stood up to greet the newcomer in the form of Professor Ozpin and extended his hand.
"Hi Oz, glad you could make it." Ozpin took the extended hand with his.
"Of course, Qrow, I would have come sooner if I had known." He looked over to Andrew. "How's his condition?" Qrow grunted.
"He's stable as long as his on the machines but he won't let anybody help him to try and move again. He's been attempting to pull out all his tubing, so the doctors had to strap him down, oh and he blames me for putting him there and himself for living." Ozpin sighed.
"I see, has he said anything about what happened?" Qrow shrugged.
"Only that it was his fault, but I'd avoid that subject if I were you. His mind is extremely fragile, and anything could break it completely." Ozpin nodded as he patted Qrow's shoulder.
"Very well. Let me speak with him." Qrow gestured with his arm for Ozpin to proceed and Ozpin walked by and over to Andrew. When he was close, he put on a brave face and spoke.
"Hello Andrew, do you remember me?" Andrew turned his head slowly then nodded.
"Headmaster Ozpin."
"Good, glad to see you can still recognise me." He pointed over to the chair "Do you mind if I sit?" Andrew did not say anything, simply turned his face towards the ceiling again. Ozpin looked over to the chair and Qrow pushed it over to him. "Thank you Qrow" he said as he sat down.
"Don't mention it." Ozpin gave his full attention to Andrew now.
"Okay, Qrow has told me about what happened to you. About the… incident." He did not know how to phrase it anyway that would not cause Andrew more distress. "He's also told me that you are refusing further treatment and support, is this correct?" Andrew let out an exacerbated sigh.
"Yes sir."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want it."
"But you need it, you will die here if this is left as it is."
"I know, that's the point." Ozpin shook his head.
"Well, that's simply no good Andrew. As your former headmaster I cannot condone this behaviour and disregard for your own life."
"That's not your place to say so why don't you just piss off… sir."
"Well, that was just uncalled for." Ozpin quickly turned to Qrow who was looking unimpressed but did not say anything. "You were once quite a promising hunter and if I might say so, had far better manners. Is this really the Andrew Tinman that I remember from Beacon?"
"You're not my headmaster anymore so I don't need to take any notice of you."
"I suppose that's true; you did graduate Beacon with remarkable grades." Andrew groaned but it was difficult to tell if it was from pain or annoyance. "I knew you would be a great hunter when I first saw you in the entrance test, but I could also see that you needed to learn a few things about life."
"I don't need this."
"You wanted to be in a team of one if I recall but I told you to sick with your team for the time being. It took a while, but I started to see a difference in your demeanour, not so cold or harsh like someone was smoothing down your edges. By the time you were ready to leave you had become a different person and I was proud of how much you had grown."
"Please just shut up, I don't want to hear what an ass I was or what I became. I just want to be left alone."
"They really meant the world to you, didn't they?" Andrew turned away to hide his face as he felt tears begin to come. "They were the ones who made you appreciate what it was to be a person not just a hunter. You once told me what your farther was like and it helped me understand you, it's why they never gave up on you and why they did everything they could so you wouldn't have to suffer again." Ozpin reached over and placed his hand on Andrew's chest which caused him to flinch. "It's also why we are both here now, you've suffered enough and there's no need to cause anymore to yourself. Stop blaming yourself for what happened and don't let their sacrifice mean nothing."
"Their sacrifice?" Andrew's voice came from somewhere deep as he turned his head to face Ozpin. "Their sacrifice was pointless, they wasted it on someone who didn't deserve it nor want it. I would have preferred that they lived, and I died, that's what they would have deserved."
"I doubt that they would have seen I the same way."
"They should have left me to die as punishment, but they were better people so they couldn't. I wish that they had for once been selfish, far more people now morn them and it is all my fault. How can I explain this to their families? Go ahead tell me headmaster."
"By explaining that they did what they thought was right, that they protected one they loved and many more from the horrors of this world. It will be hard, but they will find peace in knowing that they did good in their lives."
"You're a fool if you believe that. They will hate that I cost them the ones they loved, you've clearly never lost anyone before if you think you can expect them to understand that." Qrow suddenly marched forward
"Hay watch what you're saying Andrew! You don't have any right to speak to Ozpin like that!" Ozpin raised a hand.
"Calm down Qrow." With that and a gentle smile, Qrow backed down. "I have lost people before Andrew, more than you know which is why I know what I say is true. It will never replace then but they will find comfort and will find closure in it."
"I think I've heard enough from you two so could you fuck off and leave me alone. Please" Ozpin and Qrow gave each other a quick glance then Qrow said.
"Fine, if that's what you want. Come on Ozpin, let's go get something to drink and let him cool off for a bit." Ozpin did not move for a few seconds then pushed himself out of his chair.
"Very well but Andrew, I'm not leaving you like this. I came here to help one of my former students and I won't leave until I've done that." Andrew turned away and did not say another word as both men left the room. Once they were gone, he looked back to the ceiling and resumed his pointless vigil for a while before he fell asleep. He was out for some time when he was suddenly awaked by someone talking.
"Wow, I never thought I'd see you like this again. The whole sulky phase was pretty drawn out as it was." Andrew's eyes fluttered open as he scanned the room. Hearing his old nickname that was used by one person in particular caused him to dart his head around randomly. That was when his eyes fell upon the window and he saw Lauren Tornade sitting on the windowsill with her legs dangling.
"Lauren?! Is that really you? You survived?!" Lauren did not say anything and smiled at him from her perch. "Say something! Please!" She looked away and her smile faded.
"Sorry to break it to you but I am in fact dead." Andrew looked away and began to cry "Ugh, don't start doing that. Its only cute when… well I guess it's never cute but it's not doing anything for your looks right now."
"Why is this happening? Am I not being punished enough?" Lauren groaned and jumped off her windowsill.
"Don't ask me, it's your head."
"You must be my guilty conscience then." He wheezed.
"Ah so that's it, guilt. Wondered what this was all about."
"You're not here, it's not really you but I wish to all gods that you were." Lauren laughed a little then replied.
"Things must be bad if you're wishing for me." She looked him up and down "I guess that you were torn up worse than we thought. Damn, what am I going to do with you?"
"Nothing just leave me be. I just want to be left alone until I die." Lauren's jokey personality disappeared instantly as she looked him straight in the face.
"So, you're just going to give up?" Andrew looked back at her. "You've never given up once in your stupid life and NOW is when you toss in the towel?" He had only seen this serious side of her a handful of times like when she told him about her past and it always made him pay full attention to her.
"I failed you, everyone. I don't deserve to carry on. I'm so sorry for what I did, and I wish I could go back and fix it." Lauren's head slumped forward for a moment then came back up.
"Do you think I would have done what I did for anyone?" Andrew paused for a moment and could not reply. "The answer is no, I'm not so noble or brave but there are a few I would give anything for. Like the man I loved and was going to marry, or my team leader who trained me to be the best I could be… or the annoying jerk who without even trying helped me find a home I thought I'd never have again." Andrew took a few seconds to realise what she was saying.
"Lauren I…"
"Before you say you didn't, you did. I'm not arguing with you on this one, just accept that I won." Andrew felt a laugh escape his chest and tried to smile.
"Even when I'm down you still have to kick me."
"Indeed, although despite what everyone thought about us, I know you loved me really. How do I know this? Well, it's because I loved you too, so don't give up." She winked and as she did her normal side remerged and Andrew felt something in his chest twinge, so he closed his eyes to stop from crying but when he opened them, she had gone. The room had come to life as it always did when Lauren was around but now, she was gone, it was just an empty hospital room again fill with so many machines that the noise they made brought him crashing back down.
You stupid woman, you still got the last word in the end. Somehow at this moment, he felt somewhat calmer which was strange considering who he was just talking to. The he remembered that it was all in his head, he was not really talking with her and his high soon faded. He tried to move his hand to wipe his face, but it was still fastened tightly.
"You do not look good at all Andrew." If he could have, he would have shot up to see where the next voice was coming from but in his condition all it did was cause him to groan in pain as he tried to move. His head was still free, so he turned it to the direction of the voice and almost felt his heart stop when he saw the person standing at the end of his bed.
"Ulysses?" he wheezed and went to reach out with his one remaining hand. Ulysses was looking at him with a smile but did not reach out with his own hand and instead slowly shook his head. Andrew suddenly realised what had happened as his mind once again started to torture him.
"Why have you now appeared? What's going on inside my head?" Andrew was now starting to panic. "Is my mind starting to break?! Ulysses talk to me!" his voice was cracking all the while he was calling out to his friend and after a few silent moments did he get a reply.
"I really cannot say, this is a little bit outside my area of knowledge." Andrew started to feel like he was burning up as he tried to comprehend what was happening.
"I know you're dead, I saw it happen. Is this all some sick joke my own head is playing?"
"I highly doubt that. But while I have you here, I just wanted to say a few words before go." Andrew laughed.
"Go right ahead, it's not like this is really happening." Ulysses walked up the side of the bed, so he was closer to Andrew.
"Well really I just wanted to say that you really need to get a grip of yourself. You are falling apart at the seams." Andrew shook his head while trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, I got that. I'm talking to an apparition my best friend who I killed!"
"Not exactually, I do not think I am in fact an apparition and you definitely did not kill me."
"Great, it's even correcting me!" Ulysses chuckled as Andrew closed his eyes.
"Sorry for correcting you but I did do it a lot when I checked your homework assignments, but you did hand them to me. I thought you were used to it?"
"I suppose I was, but this is different. Anyway, was that all you wanted to say. I have a break down to get on with." Ulysses shook his head.
"You are not breaking down just trying to deal with a lot of emotions at once and for you I know that this is very difficult situation."
"I can't do it Ulysses. Not this time, I'm just not strong enough."
"That is not like you, you were always the strongest." Andrew opened his eyes to look at his friend. "I was always amazed and inspired by that part of you. You were capable of overcoming so much because of it, like your run in with team SILV or the Vytal Festival tournament we participated in."
"It wasn't really any stronger than anyone else, we all trained the same way."
"Not your physical strength, your strength of character. You always put yourself in harm's way, so we did not have to. You were our shield Andrew, you never let anyone harm us and came to our defence without ever thinking of yourself. That is what I admired about you and I always wanted to be that strong."
"How can you say that after what I did to you?"
"Easily because you always put us first, so I know you only wanted to protect us and defeat them yourself."
"I didn't Ulysses, I was just being arrogant. I thought I could do it alone."
"And keep us out of harm's way in the process." Andrew wanted to scream at him but after that first time he did that to Ulysses he found he could never do it again. "You can tell yourself what you want but I know what I know, and you will never change that."
"You're too naïve Ulysses, did you know that?"
"Yes, I did, you taught me that along with many other things about the world. I had only ever seen it through books and vids, but you had lived it. For what you taught me I will be forever grateful, I only wish now for you to carry on and teach others the same way." Andrew tried to reach out with his hand again, but it was stopped short.
"I'm sorry Ulysses. Please Don't leave me." Ulysses smiled but walked away "Where are you going?! Come back!" Andrew called as his friend carried on moving.
"I have done all I can for you now Andrew, time to stand on your own. Goodbye my best friend." In a blink he was gone, and Andrew cried out in pain for what felt like hours and no one came. It was becoming clear that he was finally alone like he had always wanted but instead it being calming it was now punishing. When he finally stopped, he began to cough quite violently before being able to breath properly again.
"Bloody hell you're sure loud." This time Andrew did not move his head when the third voice began to speak. "Glad to see this experience didn't change you too much." Andrew then looked with his eyes at the door to the room where Chris was leaning against it with his hands in his pockets.
"Not you as well, Lauren and Ulysses I could just about deal with but not my brother." Chris scoffed.
"Not sure how to take that." he then proceeded to move over to the chair and sat down. "What are you doing Andrew? Is this really how you what to deal with this?"
"You have a better solution?" Andrew spat back.
"Well, you could try getting on with your life or is that too much for you?"
"I don't deserve to be alive; I should have died with you." Chris sighed.
"Thanks for that. So, me, Lauren and Ulysses gave our lives just so you could die here instead. That makes me feel great!"
"I didn't ask you to!"
"That's not how it works idiot, gods how have you grown up so much and so little at the same time?"
"I learnt from you guys." The pair were silent for a short while until Chris took a breath.
"We'd never leave you behind Andrew, that's what being a team means. It's also more than that because we all viewed each other as family. Would you have left me if the situation were reversed?"
"It wasn't and you'd never get yourself in that situation anyway, so this is pointless."
"You never change, do you? Just answer the question!"
"High and mighty Chris our leader, I bet you just did it so you could make me suffer for all those times I pissed you off. Was this just a final joke as part of the team, to leave me all alone in my nightmare?!" Andrew suddenly saw Chris' face and immediately regretted his outburst so tried to turn his head as far as he could away from his teammate.
"That's not why we saved you Andrew." Andrew did not turn his head as Chris continued. "I thought you knew us better than that, I thought a knew you better. Please just answer the question."
"It won't make any difference now; this isn't even real. Just my mind snapping at long last."
"Oh don't give me that bullshit, you need to answer the question. Would you have left us behind if we told you to?" After a long awkward silence Andrew did at last turn his head back to Chris and sighed.
"No… I wouldn't. I couldn't." Chris then smirked as he folded his arms.
"You wouldn't run and that went for all of us. We are team CULA, we had each other's backs no matter what."
"I really wished you had listened to me though; it would have been better if you three survived rather than me. I mean look at me." He nodded to the rest of his body. "There's not a lot of me left."
"You're alive though, that's what matters, and we would have done it a million more times to save our little family."
"I want to believe you but you're just my mind telling me what I want to hear." Chris suddenly laughed.
"When did I ever tell you what you wanted to hear? You ignored almost everything I said, why should that change now?"
"Because you're not real, none of you have been."
"Oh we're real, just because we are dead doesn't mean we're not still with you." Andrew once more felt his heart beat a little harder for a second.
"You mean that? Even though it's my fault?"
"It was no one's fault; it was just what happened. And yes, I really mean that." Andrew felt more tears escape his eyes as Chris smiled. "We did what we did to save one of the most important people in our lives, we may have helped you to become someone better but that doesn't mean you did nothing for us. When we first became a team, I was terrified of being the leader, but you pushed me to take charge, sort of hit the ground running but I needed that because I would have become complacent with a team of Ulysses' or mad with a team of Lauren's." Andrew laughed just a little at that comment.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. I needed you as much as you needed me. We became friends and after that brothers, dying for you was part of the job. There is one thing I need for you to do in return for that."
"Which is?" Andrew sounded puzzled as Chris placed his hand on his head and for a split second, it felt real as Chris spoke.
"You have to live now; you have to live for all of us. Don't lie here and think this is what we wanted for you. Don't use us as a weight on your conscience, use us instead as a means to carry on and do something great. Make us mean something more than pain because if you don't then I promise you that we'll kick you out of the team." His smile was showing Andrew he was only joking at the end, but his words reached something in his heart. After releasing a breath that felt as though it had been trapped for years he replied.
"I will, I promise. You gave me this chance and I'll do anything I can to show that I'm worthy of that, I'll atone for your loss and live for you. All of you." Chris did not say anything as he removed his hand and leaned back in the chair he was using. "Chris I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything" Chris nodded with a gentle smile as Andrew closed his eyes for just a moment. Like before with the others, Chris was gone when he opened them leaving Andrew alone once again in his bed. Somehow the pain he had been feeling had been lightened, still there in the corner of his mind but now at a point that he could finally see what they did for him and what he now needed to do for them.
Almost as he came to this realisation, he then felt himself wake up and even though he was still in the hospital bed, he noticed that there was now noise from outside. He could hear people moving around, talking and even the incessant beeping of the machines around him. He moved his head around to see if there was anything different about the room, but it was still the same, even the sight of Qrow sitting in the chair opposite him with a plastic cup in his hand. Andrew tilted his head and then saw that Qrow was in fact asleep so tried to speak to wake him up.
"Hay…. Hay Qrow… wake up will you." After a few attempts did Qrow then start to rouse from his sleep and after wiping his eyes, he then responded.
"Afternoon. Have a nice nap?" he was still a little sore about their pervious conversations from what Andrew could tell but the fact he was still here showed that no matter what he still cared about him.
"It was alright. Gave me time to think."
"Really what about?"
"About why I'm alive right now, what everyone has done for me and what I need to do now." Qrow waited for Andrew to continue with a simple wave to encourage him to speak. "I don't have the luxury of giving up right now, that would be an insult to them and to you. I need to get out of this bed and prove that they did the right thing. I can no longer waste what they gave me." Qrow went to take a sip from his cup but suddenly realised that it was empty so took his flask out instead. After he had taken his drink did he then speak.
"Good to hear. In which case I'd better go get Ozpin, there was something he wanted to discuss with you." Qrow then got up and went for the door.
"Qrow." Andrew called after making him stop and turn. "I'm sorry for what I said and thank you for saving my life." Qrow was quiet for a moment then scoffed.
"Don't worry about it, jackass." He left with a smile as Andrew turned to the window and stared at the clouded sky. Just like the weather, he was not clear on what he should do with his life but there was a light somewhere that he just had to search for. About twenty minutes later Qrow returned with Ozpin in tow.
"Ah, good afternoon Andrew. How are you feeling now?" Andrew sighed.
"A bit better, sir. Sorry…. For my outburst earlier. You didn't deserve that, and I want to make it up to you."
"Oh you mean yesterday? That's already forgotten."
"Yesterday? I was out longer than I thought."
"We thought you needed your rest but Qrow insisted on staying here in case you woke up."
"Really? Thanks, Qrow." Qrow did not say anything and waved it off, he was at least semi smiling at him now, but Andrew could not blame him for being off as he had basically shouted at him for weeks and kept telling him to go away.
"He has been worried about you ever since he found you. He's hardly left your hospital room." He knew that this was true with the number of times he came to conscious and Qrow was there, proving how much he cared and that Andrew owed him as much as his team for his life. "We all been worried for you and in light of these recent events, Qrow has asked that I give you something else to work towards instead."
"Well, I'll need to get out of this bed first."
"I have already began taking care of that. I have an old friend in Atlas who owes me a favour or two. He's going to give you cybernetic parts to replace your lost limbs and condense all of this equipment into something more manageable."
"Thank you, headmaster. I'll find a way to make it up to you." His mind suddenly thought about what the cybernetics would mean for him going forward as he had never met anyone with cybernetics before. At least none that he was aware of.
"Think nothing of it. As much as I'm doing this to help a former student rebuild his life, I was also thinking that you could do something for me when your rehabilitation is complete." Andrew tilted his head and waited for Ozpin to continue. "There is a new course at Beacon I would like to implement which requires students to undertake real world situations and hone their skills as teammates and hunters. I was hoping that if or when you came back to Vale that I could ask you to helm this class, your experience out in the frontier would have made you a top choice." Andrew was not sure how to take this, he was the first to admit that he would be a terrible teacher but if Professor Ozpin was already considering him then how could he refuse. Especially in light of recent events.
"I'm honoured that you thought of me for this role but what about Qrow? He's been out there even more than I have so wouldn't he not be a better choice." It was at this point that Qrow spoke.
"The problem is that I'm out there too much so I wouldn't be able to keep up with classes at Beacon's level. Anyway, if I'm going to teach anywhere then it'll be something that's a little more flexible."
"Qrow also has other obligations that he must perform that keeps him busy." Ozpin glanced back at Qrow who nodded in agreement.
"That too."
"Still, you would want me as a teacher. I wasn't the best student and I really don't think I'm all too good a hunter anymore." Andrew interjected as Ozpin looked back.
"You would not be required to go out on missions anymore and it is your knowledge and experience that this class will utilize. I don't want you fighting the students and I don't think your old student behaviours will be a problem, I think teaching would suit you quite well." After a couple of minutes of thought, Andrew weighed the option in his head. This was a big change but as Ozpin had pointed out, being a hunter in his condition would not be wise so why not teach. This way maybe he could stop anyone else from making the same mistakes he made and save a few more lives in the process.
I'm going to pass on everything you all taught me so that they will not have to go through what we did.
"Okay headmaster, I'll do it. As soon as I'm back on my feet, I'll join Beacon." Ozpin smiled at his response.
"Splendid! It will take some time before you are ready, but I'll make sure it's all in place for your arrival." Suddenly he turned to Qrow and made a signal with his cane for the door to which Qrow walked over to and closed. Afterwards Qrow then leaned up against it so that it could not be opened without knocking him away which confused Andrew greatly. "Now that you've agreed to join Beacon, there is also something else I would like to ask you."
"I'm listening." Andrew tried to look past Ozpin to Qrow to see if he could tell him anything about what Ozpin was going to say.
"Do you know many fairy tales?"
"What?"
"Fairy tales, you must know at least one." Andrew shook his head.
"I can't say that I actually do, why do you ask?" Ozpin then moved closer to Andrew.
"How about I broaden your knowledge then, how about I tell you the tale of the seasons." Unable to refuse Ozpin, Andrew listened to him tell him this story. The story was about a man who never left his home being visited by four maidens, each helping him in some way and made him leave his house. In gratitude for this he gave each one magical abilities and created a personification of each season with them. After he was finished, Andrew tried again to look towards Qrow, and this time succeeded and hoped he could gage something from him. Unfortunately, Qrow had not changed his facial expression in the slightest so he could not tell if this was joke or Ozpin just trying to cheer him up.
"Right… well thanks for the story headmaster. I'll try and remember it." Qrow suddenly laughed.
"Told you he be confused." Ozpin leaned back in his chair before enlightening the situation.
"What did you think of it?" Andrew paused then replied.
"It was… okay, I guess. Maybe if I'd heard it when I was younger then I might have appreciated it more. Sadly, my farther wasn't the story telling type."
"No, I don't suppose he was. But was there anything you could take away from it in particular?" Andrew thought for a few moments before answering.
"Old men have magic?" This once again caused Qrow to laugh as Ozpin took a breath.
"Not exactually. Have you ever come across something that you couldn't explain, something that could only be descried as magic?"
"No. Sorry but I haven't."
"I see. That would have made what I'm going to tell you next a little more difficult to grasp. Magic does exist in this world and this fairy tale is in fact the retelling of something that happened in the real world."
"Magic is real? That story is real? So, there were also four girls that were given magic as well?"
"Correct." Andrew rolled his eyes.
"There's no need to patronise me headmaster. Just because I didn't know any fairy tales doesn't mean you need to make them sound more exciting than they are."
"Told you he wouldn't buy it." Qrow said.
"And you did on first hearing it?" Ozpin shot back to which Qrow remained silent. "What I am telling you is the truth Andrew, that old man did indeed have magic and he passed it on to those four maidens."
"Okay so it was true, I'm guessing that happened a long time ago for it to be a fairy tale so why did you tell me it? Just telling there's magic in the world hardly makes me take notice."
"It may have happened a long time ago, but the effects of that interaction are still felt today."
"What do you mean?"
"The maidens who he gifted that magic to have long since passed but magic like that doesn't just go away. Instead, it has passed on throughout the years from one maiden to another and remains within four girls to this day. They are the seasons, Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn." Andrew scoffed.
"If this is true then I think more people would have heard about this by now."
"They haven't and that is due in large part to the group that Qrow and I belong to. It is a secret brotherhood of individuals who have devoted their lives to protecting these individuals from those who would exploit that power for evil purposes." Andrew was startled to hear this and kept on waiting for someone to say, "had you going there" and it all be a prank. The fact that neither one said anything for a while afterwards as they waited for his response proved otherwise.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I want you to become a part of this brotherhood." What little blood that was left in his body went cold at that prospect and Ozpin picked up on his change. "Ever since I first saw you in your entrance exam, I noticed that despite some problematic character traits and a cold demeanour, there was something you had that could outshine it. The fact that you are a protector. As your time at Beacon pasted, I saw that you were becoming a fine young man and that protective nature of yours only got stronger. You have always put other before yourself and would take every hit to keep the ones you loved from harm."
"My semblance kind of helps with that."
"That is further proof considering that some people believe that a person's semblance stems from their personality. You never wanted to feel the pain you knew growing up again and didn't want anyone else to suffer like that either. With that, you create barriers to protect you and anyone around you."
"You make me sound more noble than I am. I don't think I did much protecting last time."
"Regardless of how you feel that went, you did protect. You protected the people of this world and as sad as it is that your teammates did not survive, they also protected the innocent and they also protected their friend." Andrew wanted to cover his face as he felt tears start to form in his eyes.
"I failed them."
"No you didn't. They just wanted to protect you for once after all the times you saved them. That's why I want you at Beacon, to pass on that lesson to all the students that walk through those doors. I also know that we could use you in our brotherhood as there are other things that could require someone with your skills. So what do you say? Will you join us?" After moment to compose himself Andrew answered Ozpin.
"I'll put things right sir. I won't lose anyone ever again. I'll join." Ozpin moved closer to Andrew patted his chest softly.
"Just do your best Andrew, that's all I ask. I know you'll keep this world safe."
"There are however three conditions I have about this." Ozpin removed his hand and sat back down in the chair and waited for him to continue."
"First, these cybernetics. I want to know exactly what's being put in me, if I don't like it or want it then it doesn't go in." Ozpin nodded.
"Understandable. That will be no problem."
"Second, if this brotherhood thing does anything I don't agree with or any of you try to change who I am then I walk away."
"It's not that kind of club Andrew, you join it then you join it for life." Qrow interjected as Ozpin razed his hand.
"What Qrow says isn't entirely true but if you do choose to leave then you can never tell anyone about it. I doubt that will be the case as we want you and have no intention of changing that."
"Okay then that one's easy. As for the third, you have to tell Carissa that I died with the rest of my team." Both Ozpin and Qrow were shocked by that statement.
"You want her to believe you died? Isn't that pretty cruel." Andrew looked over to Qrow then said.
"She doesn't deserve to be stuck with what I'm about to become. I don't want her to go through that, if she thinks I died then she can have another shot at living a life with someone who can give her what she needs."
"I think she should have the right to choose for herself."
"And she'll choose me which is not what I want for her. She now has the chance to be with someone who can be the man she wants, one who can give her the children she's always wanted."
"Do you even care about her at all? Just walking away from her like that?"
"I'm not walking away… I'm letting her go." The pain in Andrew's voice made Qrow stop for a second.
"I do not condone this choice Andrew, but I have a feeling that out of the three you have set out, this one is the most crucial one. You know that being a part of our group doesn't mean giving up your wife."
"I know headmaster, I just want to do right by her. I'm not going to be the man she fell in love with anymore so I think it would be best for her to think I had died then seeing this." The three men were quiet for a long time after this with only the beeping of the machines breaking the silence that would have been.
Coming back around, Andrew looked on through the light of the night sky and made one long, deep breath as he closed his eyes. He held the breath for a few seconds then released it slowly and calmly, he repeated this several more times then started to push himself of the ground by using the tree to support him.
"I can't give up." He said in a low voice as he got to his feet. Still trembling but only slightly, he began to move carefully back in the direction of his airship. He was still slow as he had been when he left Tai's house, but he felt more in control of his body and his cybernetics as he put one leg in front of the other.
"I have to be strong for them." He proclaimed in the same voice as he continued his slow and careful walk through the trees until his aircraft came into view. Still being careful he carried on, forcing himself to remember why he was doing this, why he must keep going.
"I have to live for them." His voice now sounded more strained as the effort he was exerting was beginning to build up as he moved closer to the aircraft. Once he was close enough, he opened the door and allowed the steps to descend before climbing in as he wiped the sweat from his face. He moved over to his pilot's chair and manged to calmly sit down before letting himself succumb to his tired body. Afterwards he quickly sent a message over to Tai to let him know he was okay and looked out the front window.
"I still have a job to do, a friend to find…" He started up the aircraft and put in a course back to Vale. "…and a promise to keep." And with that he took off into the night sky.