Bess and Dumbledore had spent the last three hours talking about Horcruxes - where they were, the plan to collect them all and destroy them together (and so the need to wait until at least August 1978 before they could hunt down the ring and the diary), the potential need for Bess to have another forced vision to locate the cup (though neither wanted that), and their need to kill the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets.
As much as Bess wanted to help with this particular task, she was so sure that she'd open her eyes at just the wrong time that she'd asked if she could do show Dumbledore the way in, take him to the entrance, and then wait outside until the rooster did its job, when they came to actually killing it.
They'd briefly touched on the subject of Selket, which Dumbledore had been all too eager to pass over and refused to tell Bess what had happened to him, and had since moved on to memories.
Dumbledore had been busy since their meeting in December. He'd been collecting all of the memories Bess mentioned to him, and more. He'd studied and dissected them in an effort to find out more about Voldemort's background and his reasons and motivations behind creating such dark magical containers. Bess had said that Voldemort was scared of death, and that he could not feel love or compassion, but Dumbledore had wanted to see for himself.
There was only one memory he'd not been able to find - one which would tell him where Voldemort learnt of Horcruxes.
"Slughorn," Bess said firmly.
Professor Dumbledore narrowed his eyes. "Professor Slughorn told-"
"Yes. He... Tom tricked him into it, but he was the one who told him about Horcruxes."
"Why didn't you tell me this the first time we spoke?" he asked calmly.
"Because... I didn't think you needed to know," Bess sighed, "but, like you said, you do. You need to know everything... and... look. You've been to see everyone except Slughorn now. This memory is the missing piece."
Dumbledore nodded, sighed, and clasped his hands together. "And I'm guessing that Harry finds this out..."
"In his sixth year."
Dumbledore nodded and sat back in his chair.
"I could get it for you, if you'd like?" she asked in a hopeful voice. She wanted to feel useful now that she'd told him almost everything she knew about how to defeat Voldemort. She also wanted a purpose, a challenge, and a distraction from her feelings.
"I'm sure he'll give me the memory. Horace and I are close colleagues," Dumbledore replied, missing Bess' raised eyebrow and eye roll. "And if he refuses or releases an altered version to me, I shall approach you for the truth. Does that sound fair?"
Bess screwed her face up but nodded nonetheless.
Dumbledore appraised her for a moment, a curious look in his eye. "Your vision. What happened this time?"
Bess explained everything that she'd seen, and that she was sure that this would be the way that she died.
"May I see it?" Dumbledore asked, motioning to the pensieve.
Bess nodded. "I don't know the spell though..."
"Participes Memoriae," Dumbledore replied with a small smile. "It is a non-verbal spell."
Bess lifted her wand to her temple, cast the spell, and withdrew her memory of the vision. It was a weird sensation, pulling a her memory out of her head to give to someone else. She felt its absence immediately. She'd spent so long running it through in her head over the past few days that she felt lighter and less pressured than she had in almost a week once it was gone. She felt like she could finally breathe a little easier, and think a little clearer.
She wondered for a moment if Dumbledore could keep the memory for her, but realised that that wouldn't be possible - she was sure there was information she'd need in the future. She just couldn't remember what, now that it was no longer in her mind.
She dropped the memory into a proffered vial. Dumbledore thanked her and walked over to the pensieve.
As he sank into her memory, Bess picked up her novel - the third instalment in the series Mary had leant her. This time, the brother of the Dragon Handler had discovered that their mother was a banshee who'd turned on a village, and the Auror sent to help him defeat her was just as beautiful as she was talented. Another absolute page-turner. She was almost annoyed when, fifteen minutes later, Dumbledore reappeared and returned the memory to her.
Her happiness was immediately impacted as she placed it to her temple. By the time it had transferred back into her mind, she found herself shaking slightly as fear and worry descended again. She felt like she could barely think or breathe.
"Thank you for sharing that with me. Visions are wondrous things to behold, but so rarely accessible by those of us not gifted by the sight. Now. I know that you prefer the facts, so here is my opinion. The wound in your side was deep, yes, and if you had not cast a healing spell, then you would not have survived," Dumbledore said calmly. "Werewolf attacks are often vicious, and in combination, I have no doubt that you would not survive an attack. However, your vision stopped before the creature was able to bite or kill you, and so your fate is still uncertain. I can only hope that by the time this comes true we can figure out when and where it will happen so that we can save you."
"Do... do you know who it was?"
Dumbledore paused for a moment. "I do."
"It wasn't... it wasn't Remus, was it?"
Dumbledore's eyes widened just a fraction. "No."
"Greyback?"
Dumbledore nodded.
Bess blanched and gulped, suddenly feeling incredibly sick. The werewolf had exited by the same door as she had, which meant she would meet a non-transformed Greyback at some point. She didn't know which one was worse or more frightening.
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "You're more scared of the man than the wolf?"
"I know what he's capable of," she whispered. She took a moment to swallow thickly and calm her racing heartbeat before she said, "Sir... I'd like to give you access to my notebook. For an eventuality where I don't make it out of there alive."
Dumbledore nodded. "I think that would be the best course of action. Though I think you should hold on to it for now, don't you? By the looks of things we have a few months at least before this will occur, and I think too much knowledge is a wonderous but often disastrous thing. Wouldn't you agree?"
"You have no idea."
Half an hour later, Bess returned to the common room. The walk from Dumbledore's office to the communal space was longer than she'd remembered. 11pm on a Friday night, the room was filled with students. Bess took in a deep breath. She wanted to go outside for a walk or something, but she was scared. She couldn't shake the feeling in her chest. So instead she bit her lip and headed towards her dorm room.
She could feel the stares of students on her as she went, but she kept her gaze trained on the door to the girls' dormitories. She didn't know why, but she just knew that Sirius was also watching her, and part of her felt comforted. As she closed the door to her dorm room that feeling was washed away by loneliness again.
Heading straight to her bed, she got changed, wrote out a new plan for upping her fitness taking into account the two runs a week that Jasper had set her as homework, placed her clothes for the next day on her trunk, wriggled under her covers, and silently cried herself to sleep.
xXx
The next morning, a more determined and focussed Bess walked into the Great Hall with Skye and Jo. She was dressed in a pair of cycling shorts, a sports bra, and a t-shirt, all of which she'd borrowed from a slightly smaller framed Skye since her owl order workout gear hadn't arrived yet and she needed to fit in a run. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of running trainers she'd bought in London during the summer.
She ignored the stares and instead focused on the commotion around the Gryffindor table. James' owl, Hermes, was circling above him. James and Peter were trying to get the bird to land, but Hermes wouldn't fly down close enough to reach, even when Peter stood on the table and jumped up to try and grab him.
Bess and the girls sat down at the end of the table, and she'd just taken a sip of her pumpkin juice when the large owl dive bombed her.
She let out an involuntarily loud scream, and recoiled as Hermes landed on the table and hopped towards her, but recovered quickly enough to take the letter and gently pat him on the head.
"Go back to James now," she muttered, seeing her name on the letter. The owl didn't budge. "Go on," she said again, and earned a nip on her hand for her efforts.
Cursing, she glared at Hermes before sticking her bleeding finger in her mouth as she opened the letter.
Elizabeth,
You have been officially dobbed in by one James Fleamont Potter.
While I normally ascertain to the adage, 'snitches stay on the pitch', this time I'm inclined to step in.
James wrote to Fleamont and myself to let us know that you won't be coming home for Easter break, which I understand completely. Professor Dumbledore has already been to visit and explained everything. We are in the process of extending our wards in the hope that you will stay with us in the summer.
However, James also told us that you are secluding yourself away from everyone and that you won't even talk to Lily.
I'm having trouble understanding this, as the woman I met at Christmas would hear what her friends had to say and let the love of her life explain why he felt that rendering her unconscious was the best course of action considering her head injury.
She would not shut out everyone, and she would lean on Lily for support at the very least.
Please write back to tell me your side of the story, because I suspect I haven't been given all of the information and I'd like to hear how you're doing.
I care about you and only want you to be happy.
Your loving hopefully-mother-in-law-to-be (if my second son can rectify his error),
Euphemia Potter
P.S. I expect you to drop everything you're doing and write out a reply now. I've enclosed paper, an envelope, a quill and ink.
If you don't, Hermes has my permission to follow you around, bite you, and poo on all of your meals.
Bess laughed out loud and clasped a hand to her mouth. It was the first time she'd laughed completely naturally since she'd had her vision.
She cleared her throat, avoided looking over to any black haired, grey eyed boys, removed the writing materials, and replied with her side of the story. She made sure to mention the fact that she did have other friends as well, lest Euphemia think she was isolating herself completely.
Within twenty minutes Hermes was on his way back down south, and Bess was sighing as she made her way to her last Apparition class before the Easter break.
She completed the challenge of disapparating and apparating within the five test hoops, and, once they were dismissed, put on her headphones, pressed play on her new cassette tape full of disco hits, and headed off on a run around the lake.
It seemed that pouring her emotions into running helped, as Bess found herself pushing and pushing until she made it back to the Entrance Hall an hour later, having jogged at least half of the way around the route. She was sweating profusely, completely out of breath and bright red, but proud.
The smile was wiped off her face as she pressed pause on her cassette and overheard a few rather derogatory comments from a couple of boys who were walking into the Great Hall. She still had her headphones on, so she assumed they thought she couldn't hear them, but that was no excuse. Their comments made her feel incredibly self conscious and ruined her mood. She pressed play on the music again, crossed her arms over her chest, and headed straight back to the girls' dorms for a long shower. For the first time in a few weeks, she pulled on her old staple long sleeved top, and some baggy trousers, completely covering up, and climbed into bed, pulling the curtains around her.
She stayed there for the next day and a half, only surfacing for chocolate supplies and loo breaks. During these excursions, notes would fly onto her bed and wait for her. Each time she'd return, scoop them up, and chuck them into her bedside table drawer, glad that Sirius hadn't resorted to sending her the ones which spoke out loud.
By Sunday afternoon she'd decided that she needed to just ignore those boys and get on with her life. But she needed something to focus on. So, she decided that she was going to get Slughorn's memory. And for that she would need the help of Mr. Felix Felicis.
She knew Dumbledore didn't want her help right now, but she knew that Slughorn wouldn't give the memory to him, and she needed to prove to herself that she could do something right for once. It was her challenge and her distraction.
She'd had to dig around a little to find the small vial of gold potion she'd won on the first day of schooling back in September, but once she had, she placed half a drop on her tongue, giving her around thirty minutes of luck. She felt an incredible rush, as though anything was possible.
Trying to put her wonder about how she could repair her relationships to the back of her mind, she focussed on Slughorn, and her wish to get his memory. Rather than sending her off in search of the walrus-like professor, the Felix Felicis sent her to the bathroom.
"What're you doing?" Lily asked as she walked into the bathroom and found Bess staring in the mirror, a pair of scissors in her hand as she stared at her hair.
"Trying to figure out how to cut in a fringe..." Bess replied, moving a few of the curls at the front of her head. She thought she'd feel more nervous to talk to Lily, all things considered, but she felt like it was just... right.
"Why?"
Bess shrugged. She thought Lily would ask her more questions, but she didn't. She just guided her to sit on the counter, and began separating out her curls at the front.
"Sure about this?" Lily asked, as she held the scissors to the first curl. Bess had an incredibly positive feeling, and nodded. Lily took a deep breath and began to cut.
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet... This could look awful, and the only person in our year who knows how to regrow your hair is currently sat downstairs glaring at everyone and everything that moves."
"He is?" Bess whispered.
"Mmm... James tried to get him to join in with Quidditch practice after our apparition lesson yesterday. He said something about hitting a few bludgers would help Sirius release his frustrations... But James said he just didn't turn up. Decided to go for a walk in the grounds instead..." she stopped to compare two curls next to each other before moving on to the next. Bess had a feeling that she wanted to say more but was holding back. "And then he had detention last night so couldn't help the others with a prank... A detention he got, by the way, because he got into a fight with a couple of fifth years."
Bess couldn't help her curiosity. "What? Why?"
"Apparently, if someone dares to comment on your arse as they head in to lunch, Sirius isn't going to be happy..." Lily muttered, shooting Bess a look before turning back to the curls.
Bess frowned. Unless Sirius had been close to her, he wouldn't have been able to hear the boy's chat. Had he followed her on her run? She tried to swallow down her happiness at the idea that he cared about her enough to make sure she made it round the lake, and refused to give in to the feeling that threatened to overwhelm her - the feeling that she should go downstairs and kiss him.
Instead, she refocussed her mind, and thought of getting the memory from Slughorn. "Oh. Well... was it bad?"
"No... not really. He didn't use magic. I think he just broke their noses. Remus fixed them up before anyone saw them, but McGonagall heard all the shouting..."
"He punched them? That's better than using magic?" Bess asked, wondering why Lily was defending his actions.
"Well... he told me that it wasn't just your arse they were commenting on... and I don't really want to repeat what they did say."
"I know what they said," Bess replied. She didn't want to share that with Lily, not right now. She was trying to be strong. But Felix told her it was the right thing to do.
"Is that why you've been hauled up here all weekend?" Lily whispered, as she lowered the scissors and placed a hand on Bess' forearm. Bess nodded, and Lily added, "we thought maybe you'd heard about the fight and were angry at Sirius..."
Bess wanted to say something, she really did, but had a strong feeling that she should just stay silent.
Lily paused for a moment, watching Bess' face, before she raised her hands to Bess' forehead and continued to cut in a fringe. After another five minutes she stepped back, squinted, and said, "okay, how's that?"
Bess jumped off the counter, turned around and smiled. After taking a moment to appreciate the new look, she said, "Perfect," and grabbed her bottle of Sleakeazy's to complete the next part of her hair transformation - straightening it.
As she held the hair potion in her hand, she stopped, suddenly feeling that she shouldn't do this. Straightening her hair was right, but doing it herself wasn't. She grinned and turned to Lily, who was now standing by the door, a sad look on her face. "Could you help me?"
Lily's expression transformed. She smiled back, tears in her eyes, and nodded. "I'd love to! But... but Bess... I'm so sorry. I'm... I'm sorry for pushing you, and I'm-"
"It's okay. I know why you did. I can't imagine how hard it is... knowing that I could tell you more but I'm keeping things from you all. I guess I just don't want it to happen so much that I'm convinced you don't need to know what could happen," Bess replied.
"But that's no excuse. We... we should have noticed your vision coming on. After... after it happened I realised you'd been rubbing your forehead for a bit. I just didn't... I didn't put two and two together. I just assumed since you already knew it, it wouldn't trigger anything. We all... we all saw signs and just dismissed them. James is beating himself up because he's the one who told you not to push yourself to remember things, and Sirius... Bess, he's distraught. Seeing you like that, knowing he put you through that..."
Lily paused and watched Bess' face. Bess tried not let her hurt and pain show, but knew she was failing. Lily could read her like a book.
Taking a deep breath, Lily continued, "I- I mean, was this one even important?" Bess shook her head quickly. She didn't want to explain what this one was about, not right now. "Exactly! And the other one? Us in a kitchen with Harry? Bess, you went through all that pain and this time got a head injury as well, for nothing! It just doesn't seem fair! And we did- we did that to you," Lily said, tears streaming down her face. "And I'm so so sorry."
Bess frowned, tears now in her eyes as well. "No. Hey. It's on me as well. I didn't tell you-"
"No. No stop being like this. Stop being so nice. We messed up. We know that. I just hope you can forgive us someday because I miss you so much," Lily whispered through her tears.
"I miss you too," Bess replied. She wanted to add in 'I just didn't want you to have to choose between James and me,' but she knew she shouldn't.
"Oh Bess!" Lily cried as she crossed the gap between them and hugged her tightly.
They held on to each other for over a minute. Bess wanted to pull back since she was wasting precious Felix Felicis time, but she knew this was right. She was confident about that.
Lily pulled back first, opening her mouth to say more but Bess was overcome with another feeling.
"One second. I just... I have this feeling that I need to write something down..." Bess said.
Before the Felix Felicis wore off, she made a list of things to do the next morning, what order to do them in, and when.
She then returned to the bathroom and spent the entire evening and night chatting to Lily. They avoided talking about Sirius and the boys and instead, after Lily had apologised again, she helped to straighten Bess' hair and they gossiped, chatted about school and Petunia, and ate their bodyweight in chocolate.
The next morning, Bess swiped on eyeliner, eyeshadow, and a red-pink lipstick, sprayed on some of her old Chanel No. 5 perfume, and headed out before anyone woke up. She checked her list and went straight to the library to study for an hour before she she found herself walking down to breakfast at 7.30.
As she hopped down the final two steps of the staircase, she bumped into Professor Slughorn, who was coming up from the dungeons.
"Professor! How are you?" she asked in a simpering voice, as she tried to dig deep and act a lot more confident. "Good weekend?"
"Oh!" he cried, with a surprised expression as he stopped by the stairs. "Yes! Absolutely marvellous! And yourself?"
"Nothing to write home about. I do wish that there were more fun social clubs at the school. I am seventeen, but finding a drop of wine outside the Charms classroom is like... trying to find Acromantula fangs!" she said the last with wide eyes and a laugh.
Slughorn lapped it up. "My word! You do know your potions ingredients, don't you?"
"Well, I try, sir. I do try," she replied, tilting her head to the side as her smile grew.
"And your marks speak to that!"
"Thank you!" Bess said. Her charming smile slipped slightly as she heard Sirius, James, Remus and Peter's voices coming from the hallway at top of the staircase behind her. Peter was complaining that they were headed to breakfast so early, and Sirius was telling him to shut up. She recovered quickly. "I'm aiming for a E at least at NEWTs. I need to make up for my OWLs. It's such a good thing that we have such an incredible and accomplished teacher!"
"Oh you're too kind, Miss Coulson, too kind indeed!" Slughorn beamed. Bess laughed. "Say..."
"Sir?"
"I don't suppose you fancy a spot of dinner on Wednesday evening? A select few students and myself are planning on a little supper and drinks. Would you be interested in joining us? I'm sure I have a little elf-made wine in my cabinet..."
"Oh my gosh, sir! That sounds absolutely delightful!"
"Brilliant! Look out for your invitation!"
"Thank you," she said, scrunching up her nose and smiling as she waved him away. As he walked out of sight she sighed and let her shoulders droop a little, completely forgetting about the boys.
"Bess? You alright?" James asked, and she grimaced and turned around. She knew it was a weird sight, her talking to Slughorn outside of class.
"Fucking hell," was Sirius' response to her appearance, and she frowned and looked at the ground as she adjusted her fringe. She knew the lipstick was too much but it was on her list, so she'd applied it anyway.
"Padfoot," Remus admonished, sending his friend a confused look before turning back to Bess. "What he means to say is, hi. You look lovely today."
Bess nodded and pursed her lips as she looked to the side and cleared her throat. When she looked up, she saw that Sirius was staring at her like she'd grown another head, so she just sighed deeply, nodded at the group, and walked across the Entrance Hall, heading towards the Great Hall.
As she walked, she could hear them behind her. It wasn't like they were trying to keep their voices down.
"What was that? What happened to trying the charm angle?" James asked incredulously.
"I'm sorry! But have you seen her?" Sirius replied. Bess frowned. She suddenly had a memory of the first time they'd met, when he'd said she wasn't that fit.
"Uh yeah, we're right here, mate. All of us have eyes," James said, and Bess could almost hear him rolling his eyes.
"Merlin, she's just so beautiful. And with that fringe? She looks incredible doesn't she?" Sirius groaned.
"Quit drooling. She's not a pie, Pads!" Peter cried. Bess couldn't help but smile since Sirius had said something similar to Peter when she'd first met the watery eyed boy in September.
"Shut up, Pete," Sirius snapped.
"Yeah, Pete, you know dogs can't help it if they drool!" James laughed.
"At least she looked at you this time?" Remus added in a hopeful voice.
"Yeah! I mean maybe next time you see her try changing your facial expression from, 'what on earth happened to you', to, 'hot damn, baby!' Because she probably thinks you hate it!" James said, and she heard Remus, Peter and James laughing as Sirius groaned.
Reaching the middle of the Great Hall she smiled to herself and walked out of earshot. She knew that Sirius had broken up with her and so she shouldn't care if he found her attractive or not, but she did. She really, really did. Especially after those boys who had been talking about her the other day. The fact that Sirius had only mentioned her fringe and had called her beautiful was exactly what she needed.
When she sat down with Grace and Lucy at the top of the table, she was still smiling.
"Nice fringe," Grace said, sending her a wink and smile.
"Thanks."
"Cruel and unusual punishment if you ask your ex though..." Lucy laughed as she looked over Bess' shoulder. "I thought he couldn't take his eyes off you before..."
"And from your blush I'd say he might not be your ex for long..." Grace added with a giggle.
"Well I'm not the one who added the prefix..." Bess said, raising her eyebrows and pursing her lips as she pincered a piece of crispy bacon.
"Really?" Lucy asked, leaning forwards, her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands. "Because that's not what Alison Graves told me."
Bess shrugged and bit her piece of bacon, tilted her chin up, and watched a rather ominous cloud shift overhead. She was still trying not to smile.
She felt something move against her chest.
"Is that a dog?" Grace asked, and Bess looked down to see that her dog charm had wriggled it's way out of her bra and now had its paws out of the gap at the top of her shirt as it stared at Lucy and panted.
Bess' eyes widened. She laughed nervously and touched the charm, which revered back to its original inanimate state, and tucked it back inside her shirt. She looked around to see if anyone else had seen it and made eye contact with Sirius who had his wand in his hand, the massive goofy smile she loved so much on his face.
Of course he put a charm on it so he could make the dog move, she thought. He'd probably done it to make her laugh at some point but hadn't had a chance to use it.
She gulped as she realised that he'd probably noticed that she didn't have a necklace on when she'd looked up at the ceiling, and was checking to see if she still had his gift. He'd probably expected it to be in her bag though, not her bra.
As she stared over at him she couldn't help the slight shiver that ran down her spine at his intense gaze. She bit her lip and frowned as she played with her tie absentmindedly, and watched as his eyes trailed over her face and tie, widening slightly as his smile fell and he gulped.
Raising an eyebrow as she tilted her head to the side slightly, she wondered what he was thinking about.
"Alright, enough flirting, missus," Grace laughed as she poked Bess on the arm. "He broke up with you, remember?"
Bess' eyes snapped away from Sirius' and she turned back to her friends with a blush, determined not to look at him again for the whole day.
She smiled as the voice in the back of her head told her that it was probably a good sign that he cared that she was still wearing the charm.
A/N:
Not sure if anyone needs to know this, or if I'm just stating the obvious (apologies if I am) but fringe is UK-English for bangs. : )
Thank you to everyone for your lovely reviews! Irina Hunter, AvalonRivers, Guest - (this is getting spooky now... I can't get one over on you, can I? Each review is like you're in my head knowing what's going to happen in the next chapter or next few chapters! I agree they need to explain and apologise, but Bess now needs to give them the chance to!), CharlotteGryffindor, idreamtosmilealways, Ghost Claw 001, qsadfghjhtxgredwaseghgrf, HorseGirl16, and seven-x-seas !
Thank you again to everyone reading, following and favouriting as well!