If there was anything scarier than Mariana Ramirez yelling at you, it was when she was deadly silent. Eddie had asked her to stay the night before work because he felt reassured to know she was okay and that request unfortunately bit him in the ass that night. She entered the house at one in the morning absolutely fuming and deadly silent. She hung her purse up and placed her shoes in the cubby like usual, but he could see the rage radiating off of her.

Eddie didn't even know what to do or to say. What was she the most angry about: the fighting or the lying? He knew he fucked up, he really did.

"Sit on the couch and take your shirt off," she finally said, a tone of finality oozing from her words. As she disappeared into the bedroom, he followed her directions and waited for her to reappear. Mariana emerged dressed in a pair of shorts and one of his shirts instead of her scrubs and she was carrying one of her many first aid kits. She kneeled down in front of him on the couch and wordlessly began to peel back the shoddy bandages he had taped to his torso.

She worked diligently and patiently, ensuring that he felt minimal pain as her fingers skimmed over bruises while applying lotion and her palms pressed against his abdomen as she taped on new gauze patches.

She was so gentle that he almost didn't realize that her shoulders were trembling. He instantly cupped her cheeks with his hands and drew her eyes up to meet his, a sorrowful and guilty look in his eyes.

"I should have seen you were in pain," she whispered. "But I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't even think about you. And now you're hurt o-or you're hurting and I didn't see it. Do you know how dangerous that was? That could have been you in the ICU. Eddie, the 118 needs you and Christopher needs you and I need you."

He drew her up and onto the couch with him, settling her legs on either side of his hips so she was straddling his lap. Mariana dropped her head to rest on his shoulder, her shaky breaths casting a hot reminder on his skin of her fear.

"I didn't want to hurt you or scare you or make you leave. After Shannon's death, I pulled back because I couldn't let myself feel the pain of losing you too. And then the truck happened and I almost lost you regardless. And then the tsunami and I just...I couldn't breathe."

She raised her head so she could see him properly. "Tell me everything."

And he did. He told her everything from Shannon's death to the truck bombing and the tsunami and Christopher's nightmares and the anger he felt at the world and how he started fighting and he liked it. Mariana listened intently, asking questions and pressing random kisses to his jaw and brow. He softened under her touch and found that the words came out easier as she assured him with her touch.

"Are you mad?" he asked.

"I was. But now I'm more concerned. You're going to have to see a therapist, you know that right?"

"Whatever it takes. After I saw what I did to that guy…"

"Edmundo, that could be you in the ICU right now. I literally just explained to Buck that I can't lose you, any of you, but especially you. I can't put it into words but you know."

He lowered his lips to hers and brushed a feather light kiss against her skin and the corner of her lips. "I know. I know. I'm sorry."

"Just don't do it again. Promise me."

"I promise."

"Y'know...I'm kinda the queen of unhealthy coping mechanisms," Mariana sighed out, her fingers tangling in his short hair. He let out a snort, burying his face against her collarbone. She pulled back, a thoughtful expression on her face as her hand came up to cup his cheek.

"When we fought on Halloween, I had to give Bobby my keys and fell asleep on his couch. My fingers were itching to drive but I knew that I couldn't. It's an addiction and it'll keep pulling you back in." He nodded against her palm. "So the next time you feel like punching something, just call me and I'll come over and help you get that anger out."

"Are you suggesting that I beat the shit out of you? Are you insane? Mariana, I would never lay a finger on you. How could you even think that?" He asked, sitting up straight. She slid down into his lap and sat up as well, shaking her head.

"What I meant was you could...use me to let your aggression out in a different manner. Y'know like…" Heat rose to her cheeks and she ducked her head, not able to make eye contact. "People talk about angry sex sometimes. I don't know, maybe it'll help."

His gaze softened and he reached up to brush her hair back, tilting her face up so their eyes could meet. Eddie gently pulled her in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. He lingered there for a brief moment before pulling back, stroking a thumb over the soft skin of her cheek.

"No, angelita. I'm not going to use you like some toy especially since we haven't even...gotten that far yet. I don't know who you heard that from but sex isn't about anger and when you're ready, I don't care how long that takes, I will only show you how much I care about you. I never want you to feel as if it comes from a place of anger, okay? Until then, you and I are going to work through these things together in healthy ways. Got it?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just...I couldn't think of any way to help and you've been so patient with me…"

"No need to apologize, mi angelita. Just you being here is enough." His lips pressed against her temple, cheek, nose, and jaw before they finally captured her own lips. She smiled into the kiss, pressing closer against him. Once the need for air arose, he broke away from her, panting.

"Yeah, I know I said I'll wait but the longer you sit in my lap like that, the harder it is."

Mariana snickered and shifted her weight off of him with a grin. "Sorry, cariño."

"Don't apologize for being ridiculously hot. You're too humble," he groaned, easing himself out from under her. "Now, I'm going to take a cold shower."

"And I'm going to bed," she laughed, kissing him once more before she headed for the bedroom.

/

"Tired?" Eddie asked as he bumped his shoulder against Mari's. She offered him a small grin and sighed, squeezing his hand.

"Was sleepin' fine until you climbed into bed like a wet dog," she groaned. He chuckled and dropped a quick kiss to her shoulder.

"Mmm, no PDA in the house," she reminded him.

"Diaz." They both turned to face Bobby on the landing. "Up here. Now."

"I was gonna go change."

"No, we talk first."

Bobby glanced over at his daughter and she glanced between the two men and then nodded. Eddie turned to head towards the stairs and then spotted Lena. His grip on Mariana's hand tightened just a fraction and she immediately placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Just hear Bobby out," she murmured.

"What are you doing here?" he asked Bosko.

"Just talk to your captain," she ordered.

"Did you tell him? You sold me out, huh? I thought we were friends."

"Ed, just go talk to Bobby, okay?" Mari sighed. She crossed her arms and waited for the two to finish speaking before she followed Lena towards the front door.

"Hey Bosko, we need to talk," Mariana called. The woman turned to face her, an unimpressed look on her face.

"I didn't think Diaz would send his little guard dog after me," she scoffed.

"I just wanted to say that I don't think you're in the position to judge Eddie for his coping mechanism when you yourself engage in it, isn't that right, Lena?" The brunette stepped closer to her, a sickly sweet smile pulling at the corner of Mariana's lips. "Eddie had to learn the fighting somehow, right? I get that you think you were helping, but this cycle wouldn't have started if you hadn't shown him it. I think you should talk to a therapist, Lena, it'll really help. Your captain should be able to help you set up a meeting with someone."

Bosko stared her down and then turned away with a frustrated look on her face. "You're a real piece of work, aren't you?"

"I've been called worse," Mariana hummed as she studied her cuticles. "You can leave now."

Lena left the firehouse and Mariana smirked, winking at an amused Chimney as she walked to the locker room to get changed, unaware of the conversation upstairs.

"...and Mariana. She couldn't trust me to tell me that she was drowning in her thoughts because I wasn't there for her. And I...I will never be good enough to deserve her. I don't understand why she doesn't just leave!"

Mariana was just finishing her french braid when Eddie walked into the locker room and placed his duffle bag next to her. She glanced up at him and immediately frowned at the redness of his eyes.

"Hey," she said quietly. He simply just pressed a kiss to her forehead and she shut her eyes at the touch, her hand reaching up to grasp his.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Hey, none of that," she replied. "The only thing I expect from you is that you don't break my heart. Think you can do that?"

"Of course."

"Then that's all I need."