"Stop grinning like a Cheshire cat," Martin eyed her, frowned, and crossed his arms over his chest. He sat back in his chair and finally rubbed his temple where a headache had been forming all day.
"Oh, I'm just so excited, so happy, Marty," Joan grinned. Her eyes sparkled, and she reached across the table to pat his forearm. He eyed her as he did that and sighed. "Come on, now, I know you are happy too. I can see it in your expressions even if you are trying to act put out at the moment."
Martin opened his mouth, paused before he answered, and finally, he darted his eyes, finally landing on his elderly aunt. "Yes, ahh, it will be an adjustment, a tremendous one for all of us, but especially now it has caused me to want to accelerate this move even more. I was already trying to secure employment and put this phobia business behind me as soon as possible, but it seems that I need to stop demanding perfection from the situation and get a move on it."
Joan sat back, surprise clearly evident on her face. She raised her eyebrows and nodded to her nephew, "I must say, Marty, that I'm very surprised to hear that from you. I know this is all a great deal of change, everything back to well, discovering James was on the way, reconciling with Louisa, getting her situated as you two decided on London, hiding it all," she rolled her eyes, "and now this-another child. I'm delighted to meet my newest nephew or niece, but I do also realize this is a major life change. You seem to be embracing it better than I would have expected. Well done," she nodded to him.
"Well," he huffed, "I don't know what you expect, as the alternative would be what? Would it be abandoning Louisa and James? Oh, yes, that would be splendid, to abandon them as she is pregnant once again with my child. You know I am very traditional, and one of the things I hated was well," he blushed, "having Louisa with child before we were married or really as it appears, while we called off our first marriage. I can say at least that is not the issue here, although," he rolled his eyes and started to mumble, "it's quite an embarrassment that I'm a doctor and appear to have no knowledge of human reproduction and how that, that," he fumbled as he was very red in the face now, "happens."
Joan smiled at him, her eyes sparkling, and the room was quite for several moments before she started to chuckle. Joan stood to refill her tea cup, giving Martin a moment to take a deep breath and for the deep pink to subside off his face. Joan sat back down and looked to her nephew.
"You're still limping," he grumbled to her as she moved to the table again.
"Just these old bones trying to work, Martin. I'm fine," she waved. "Nothing works like it once did. No need to work about me."
"You need to come in for a complete physical, Auntie Joan. I've said that for months. Better, I'll just bring the physical to you, next visit."
"Don't' you dare," Joan pointed. "I'm perfectly fine."
The two settled into silence. Finally, Joan commented again.
"What are you going to do now, then, hmm?" Joan sipped at her tea after asking Martin, giving him a look as she awaited his answer.
He took a long sigh and looked down to the floor before he started to speak. As he did, he glanced her way, "I suppose the time has come for me to accept that I must take any medical job I can in order to move to London."
Her eyebrows rose, "Hmm, will that make you happy? You weren't happy coming here, as a GP, and that clearly showed, still does at times," she nodded in acknowledgement.
He gestured with his hands, "What is this always about happiness? Why must one always be happy? I simply survived. I am a doctor, and when unable to continue in surgery, I retrained for a field I could handle. Coming here," he sputtered as he turned red, "clearly was not the life I had in London, but it gave me this time to be with you and to-"
"Meet Louisa," Joan smiled. "My dear, Marty, I've always said things do happen for a reason. Had you continued in London, even as a brilliant surgeon, you would be miserable in one way or another. You'd not come here, and you certainly would not have met Louisa. I adore you both, but yes, coming here, admitting you had to change things, well, it did bring you to her. Putting your head between you tail, so to speak, admitting defeat now, if that's even what you want to call it, Marty, my goodness, it can't be a defeat if it takes you to your family. I will be selfish and say I will miss you terribly, but if your intention is to live in London, as you claim, I suppose you must do what you need to do. Although," she gave him a look and a nod, "you do need to be happy, at least content with your profession. Are you going to be so as a GP in London? You've spent all this time training and working on this phobia."
"Yes, yes," he acknowledged, "and I believe, in time," he nodded again, "I can conquer it. These bloody hospitals won't even consider me until I can get a handle on it; they all know my name. I am trying to do that, and it is coming along, but I still must admit that finishing any lengthy surgery is troublesome. I don't know what to do," he sighed and slumped back into his chair.
"We won't solve the problems today," she reached over to pat his hand and offer him a small smile. "Best I can do is feed you. I've got roasted chicken almost ready, and with that," she gave him an encouraging nod, "you can tell me how this bride of yours is what, did you say, now nine weeks pregnant? Oh, Marty," she chuckled. "I'm thrilled."
Much later that evening after Martin had returned to his home, his quiet, dark, and honestly, lonely home, he readied himself for bed, sank into it, and he pulled up his computer to chat with Louisa. The mid-November air had left a dreadful damp, chill in the air, and he'd layered the bed with extra blankets. It was late, but judging the time, she would have just put James down for his final feeding of the night. He was now four months old, and other than just a few quick trips to London, he'd not spent a great deal of time with his son. Martin let out a sigh of relief when Louisa connected their video call, noting she was also in bed.
"Hello," he said in a low, yet soothing voice he used only with her.
"Hello, Martin," she said with a stiff yawn. He winced as she noted how tired she looked.
"You look, ahh, ahh, tired," he finally blurted out. She'd told him it wasn't always necessary to spell out exactly how she looked, but her exhaustion was at a level he hadn't noticed before on her.
"Hmm, yes, well, I am, Martin. It doesn't help that I have taken off all of my makeup for the day, so the exhaustion and the old age I'm very much feeling, are on full display. I dare say you try this, taking care of an infant, pregnant once again in still the first trimester-I'm bloody exhausted, and my body," she said, the tears forming, "is a total mess. How do you try to lose baby weight when you're already pregnant again?"
Martin, rather than taking the sympathetic approach that a husband should take, frowned, "Louisa, now is not the time to try to lose weight or go on any strange diets. You have to consider that you are once again pregnant. This child deserves all the nutritional value you can offer, no different than James, although," he frowned, "I was not privy to a lot of your diet either with James. There will be time once this child is born to work on your weight loss. I can suggest that you stay off the chocolate digestives."
"Those digestives are about the only sane thing in my day, Martin!" Louisa snapped. "Goodness, I simply go from one extreme to the other, and I can't understand it. One minute, I'm like a blushing bride still, cradling my stomach where this miracle grows more and more each day, marveling in the wonder of it all, thankful that even with my age, things are going smoothly so far. The next minute, I'm cursing you, swearing off you ever touching my body again, wanting to give these medical professionals who swear that nursing is almost its own form of birth control, a piece of my mind. I then will start crying, wondering how I can really well, ahh, man up, shall you say, for another what, seven months of this? My body was taken over before, I didn't even get a chance to get it back, and now," she wiped her face where she had tears rolling, "it's not mine again. I'm sorry, Martin. I'm exhausted, and you pointing out that I look it doesn't help."
"Yes, well," he frowned, closing his mouth instead of saying more. He sighed, watching her upset and finally cleared his throat, "Louisa, I do not understand pregnancy. I mean, I do medically understand it, all of the specifics, and I have taken care of more than my share of expectant mothers. All are different. Yes, it is normal to have mood swings as you are describing. I'm not sure what you would like me to do. As for feeling your body is not yours, I can actually relate. My phobia takes over where I do not wish it. I am ahh, sorry, for everything you described. Did that make it better?"
Martin gave her a look, wondering if she would yell at him again. Instead, she wiped her face, gave him a small smile, and she sighed, "No, it did not, but I am very aware how hard that just was for you, trying to relate to me. Thank you, Martin, for that. I hate feeling like this, that I don't want a child, because I do, but it is the timing of it all."
"Yes, I concur," he sighed. "Louisa, I spoke with Joan. I will look for any job I can accept to move to London. I cannot continue to ask you to handle this on your own. One infant and a pregnancy nearing the end of the first trimester, well, you are exhausted as I can see, and it will only get worse."
Louisa's eyes widened, "You will come to London, then?"
He nodded, "Yes, I will speak to Chris tomorrow. I told Joan about the baby tonight. You'd asked me to wait a couple more weeks. Now that you heard the heartbeat at your appointment earlier, it is much more likely that this will be a successful pregnancy. I dare say it was alright I spoke to Joan, yes?"
She gave him a watery smile, "Yes, fine, Martin," she chuckled. "I've been busy with James and should have known the missed calls tonight from Joan would be about the baby."
He grunted and rolled his eyes slightly, gesturing to Louisa, "As I said, I will speak to Chris, and I hope to secure a position by the end of this week."
"That soon?" Louisa's eyes widened. "Martin, I am aware you don't want to be a GP. I feel we go in circles about this, and yet, I cannot be the reason you take a job you hate."
"I'm not sure what you would suggest I do, Louisa!" Martin exclaimed. "You are living a life there, and I'm here. You are well on your way to having two children, and I am not there. I will not be like my family was, absent."
"Oh," she frowned, "speaking of-I ran into your mother again picking up your suit from the cleaner. With the news of the day with my appointment, it slipped my mind."
Martin sat up, now concerned, "What did she say? Was she unkind to you? She wasn't following you-"
"Martin, no," she cut him off, frowning. "I had James Henry out for a walk this morning, and I picked up your suit then. To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't seen her more than that. She tried to get a look at James, but I did have him bundled with the cool air, and he was sleeping."
"She mustn't get her hands on James," Martin stated with vigor. His eyes conveyed his fear.
"Yes, Martin," she said with a sympathetic smile. "Believe me, she wasn't playing the doting grandmother. I was coming out of the shop, and she was trying to get into it. Quite rude, if you ask me. Instead of helping with the door when I had a carriage, she made her way in and made me move out of the way, which was quite difficult with the pram."
"You didn't mention your pregnancy, did you?" Martin asked.
"No, no reason to do so, although," she rolled her eyes, "it's not hard to look pregnant when I just was. I'm sure she thinks I've turned into some fat, lazy mum who snagged herself a doctor and has no plans to do anything. I swear, Martin, I'm already wearing my maternity pants again. It's sadly evident, at least to me, I'm pregnant."
"You are pregnant," he told her quite simply with a nod. She sighed; he heard it, and he watched as she rolled her eyes again.
"Martin," she eyed him, "tell me, do most mums at nine weeks, look pregnant?"
He thought a moment, pursing his lips, "Everyone is different. The average weight gain at that point is just a few pounds, so no, not really, not usually."
"Yes, right," she said with a snarky tone. "It's evident I am! I didn't get to lose that pregnancy weight, and it's already right back on me. Look at this!" Louisa huffed and stood, turning to her side. Martin watched as she smoothed down her dressing gown and rounded it. It was very evident she was pregnant, looking more like she was closer to four or five months. He waited for her to speak, and when she didn't, the two descended into silence.
Finally, Martin commented, "It's not twins, correct?"
Louisa burst into tears again, and Martin looked to her, wondering what he had said.
"See, I am fat!" Louisa exclaimed.
"Louisa," he sighed, "seven more months, and you can ahh, what did you call it-get your body back."
She glared at him, "Remember that, Martin, remember those words because if you think you're touching me before I get my body back, you are mistaken."
He gave her a horrified look, "This is not just my doing, and to blame this pregnancy on just me is maddening! Surely, you understand we would take other precautions-"
"As we did with James?" Louisa said in a huffy tone, as she looked to him. "Let's just agree, Martin, that not only was the universe intent on you getting me pregnant, not once but twice-unplanned," she enunciated, "the joke is clearly on me with this, this," she grabbed her belly, "horrendous weight gain I already have."
"I"ll be in London next weekend, Louisa," Martin told her, trying to be almost professional. "We can discuss nutritional elements and get some exercise with James Henry. All of that will be good for the growing fetus."
"Baby, Martin," she scolded him. "It's a baby, yours and mine, although I question my judgement on that right now."
"I will call Chris in the morning," he told her again, and the two were quiet. He blushed as he glanced to the screen, "Louisa, I do know you like to hear nice things. You do look, ahh, lovely," he sputtered, "pregnant like that. I, ahh, well, thank you, for this, for everything, for being a home to the ahh, fetus," he gestured. "You are a wonderful mother."
She teared up, "Martin, that's about the nicest thing. Thank you, even with you calling the baby a fetus. Maybe by your trip next weekend we will be able to discuss your job options, yes?"
He frowned, "You would like to discuss the different options?"
"Of course!" Louisa said, almost horrified. "You would take a job here in London without discussing it with me?"
"It wouldn't be your job," he frowned. "Why would you want to discuss it?"
"It affects you, me, our family," Louisa huffed. "Martin, as intelligent as you are, you really don't believe it's important for us to discuss it?"
"You don't discuss your teaching plans," he said pointedly. "Quite frankly, I'm one of the last to know, and I'm informed of what you will do. You only told me you were staying home this term after you had decided and, I might add," he pointed with a finger in the air, "spoken to your school. You still seem dead set on trying to teach the winter term, which I think is ridiculous as you will be well into your second and third term of pregnancy. Simply ridiculous! We don't need that money, and you are already exhausted. Imagine how you will feel as you progress through this pregnancy and try to keep up with an infant who will grow more and more active? Why should I discuss these jobs with you?"
Louisa listened and frowned as he called her out on several things. She nodded as he finished, "Yes, Martin, I suppose you have a point. I haven't been fair, have I? This next weekend does seem like a good time to put all things on the table, to evaluate your work, my work. If it is alright with you, yes, I do want to go back to teaching this winter." Seeing that Martin was about to object, she raised her hand, "I need to do this, Martin, for me, and I will be glad to discuss it, but hear me out. I have been a teacher for nearly 15 years. It's part of who I am. I'm also now a mum, and I can't just walk away from being a teacher. I know it will be difficult this winter term, but I do want to teach. I am aware that it will be ridiculous," she rolled her eyes, "to tell my head that I'm preggers again, that I will once again be out next fall term, but this is what I want. Can you possibly understand?"
"Yes," he stated very simply and quickly. "Surgery was my identity. I had very little time to change that identity, but I had to do so. I thought I had it back, surgery, that is, and it's difficult to accept that I am not yet ready."
"Yes, Martin," Louisa said, almost breathless. "For once, you are spot on and do understand me. I thought I was this close to being back to teaching, and I can do it, at least for a bit. Can you understand and accept that?"
He frowned again, "I seem to be making many concessions, Louisa. I would like to discuss the option of my working somewhere other than London. Surgery has been so tainted for me in London. Chris even made mention, a few weeks ago, that possibly moving somewhere like Bath, I could get back into surgery more easily."
"Leave London?" Louisa asked. "We planned to settle here."
"You did," he told her. "I want to be with you, wherever that is. Going somewhere else could be temporary, that is, until I am better established in surgery again. We could let the flat in London until I've worked a couple years again and have reestablished myself as a surgeon."
Louisa shook her head, "My head is spinning, Martin. What about my job?"
"There are schools in Bath, or anywhere, not that I'm stuck on it. Louisa, you want much of this only your way. You continue to point out we are married, and while I admit that I am not up on social cues and norms, I believe that compromise is part of marriage, a large part. You want to teach according to your plan. You want to have the children on your plan-"
"I didn't plan to get pregnant again this soon, Martin!" Louisa interrupted.
"Nor did I," he nodded. "To be fair, I hadn't thought of other children, but we are here. For our family, you are deciding what you want, and I just ask to be part of that. We've both put our careers first, and well," he frowned, "I suppose we need to really consider the other, and ahh, the children," he sputtered. "It is odd saying that, children."
Louisa softened as Martin explained that, giving him a soft smile. She nodded too, "Yes, quite odd. I'm a mum," she said with a half-hearted chuckle. "There are days I still can't believe that. I thought about your mother today after seeing her, and I'm sorry, but we got off that subject. She was rude, just nodded to James Henry and said he had big ears," she sighed. "She nodded to me as well, giving me a once over, and I know she was thinking I've let myself go. It did everything in my power to not say anything to her, and as I left, she muttered something about James, about how the poor child sadly looked like his father. I wanted to hit her."
He made a face, "Perhaps you should have," he surprised her as he said it. She chuckled, and instantly, both felt the tension subside.
"Alright, Martin, we do need to talk a bit this next weekend. I suppose with everything moving so fast with the two of us this last year, we've not really had time to be married, to talk."
"We are married," he frowned.
"Yes," she sighed, "but things were thrown at us. We're not the typical newlywed couple, Martin. We've not been married a year, and we are already living apart, struggling with career changes, and we have one child with a second on the way. That's a great deal to handle."
"You also wish to keep many things in our lives a secret," he nodded to her.
"Right, yes, well, I can call up, say, Mrs. Tishell tomorrow if you like and tell her the good news. I know she's quite fond of you, Martin. Oh, maybe just call Pauline or the new head. Yes, that would go well. We'd both be laughed out of town."
"This bloody village," he grunted. "Even Auntie Joan had a good laugh about the baby."
"Why was she laughing about our baby?" Louisa asked, now defensive.
Martin gestured, "Just, just the mess of it all. I'm a doctor, and I can't keep my wife from getting pregnant!"
Louisa grinned and nodded, "Tis true, Martin. I'm not sure if you should be mortified or quite proud, although, I did just let out every emotion on you about how I feel. Oh, Martin, what are we going to do?"
"Move and soon," he stated. "It's mid-November. It will be hard to start anywhere new before the end of the year, but let's make this our goal, Louisa. Let's be settled with not just my job, but yours, by the end of the year, so that I shall-and you as well-have a clear plan for the new year."
She raised her eyebrows, "You said my job as well. You won't object if I work the winter term?"
He ducked his head, "I think it's quite maddening that you wish to exhaust yourself with an infant and another on the way, but no," he nodded. "I won't object, granted, as I hope you afford me the same consideration. I will inquire about jobs, to include surgery, even if it means relocating again over the holidays. Students are everywhere," he nodded to her. "If we do have to relocate, I will not object if you seek employment this winter term."
Louisa thought a moment, "I do know how much being a surgeon means to you, almost defines you, as teaching does me, Martin. Alright," she nodded. "I feel that we made some progress. Inquire about surgery positions, and then, this next weekend, we can sit down and make some plans, about our jobs and the children too, yes?"
"Yes, ahh, good," he nodded to her.
"Martin," she said softly and continued when he nodded to her, "I do love you and our little family here. I am sorry I have been difficult. It's not even been a year, well," she rolled her eyes. "I suppose I arrived in London about a year ago to the day, but it's not been a year yet, and I'm still trying to adjust to the changes. I didn't expect leaving our wedding I would end up, or well," she sighed, "was already pregnant. I didn't expect for us to get back together, and I didn't expect to be put up in this posh flat with my husband back in my own village. I'm still catching up."
"Yes, yes," he nodded. "You could be back here in the village, Louisa."
"Yes, Martin," she nodded. "I'm not, though, and I hope you understand it, just as I'm trying to understand that even our future might not be here in London. Let's both get some sleep and discuss more this coming weekend. James and I'll meet your train. I'll be the fat, pregnant woman, looking oh, about five months pregnant, when I'm only two and a half months."
"Louisa," he frowned, and she sighed as he continued, "I know what you look like. No description of your size is necessary."