Author's note: this chapter contains heavy drinking.

if you are triggered, this is your warning.

Ben

We agreed to go back to the Amidala Estate, where C was all too happy to make preparations.

She promised she would have everything done as quickly as possible, but it would still take weeks.

I kissed Rey on her brow and watched C lead her away by the hand, and as soon as they disappeared out of sight, I activated my comm link.

To my utter amazement, he answered. "If I go there, will you listen?"

He gave a short reply and ended the link.

I looked at Kuruk and asked him to take me to Kashyyyk.

oOo

Chewie was waiting with his bowcaster when we landed, and I told my Knights not to interfere, no matter how the meeting went.

I stepped out of the ship alone, and silently walked forward to stand in front of him.

He took aim directly for my chest, and I held up my hands, showing him my palms.

"Where is Dear One?" He demanded, and I could only assume that was what he called Rey.

"On Naboo." I told him. "Planning our wedding."

He studied me over for a long, silent moment, then slowly lowered his weapon. "So, she accepted your Bond?" He asked.

I nodded. "She did."

"Come " He grumbled, and turned toward his home. I followed, and took a seat that he motioned to when we were inside.

He rummaged around in the kitchen before coming back with an earthenware bottle, and two short glasses.

He sat down across from me, placing the glasses on the table, and uncorked his bottle. "I will congratulate you as I would my own Pup." He said, pouring a strong smelling liquor into the glasses. He replaced the cork and set the bottle aside, then handed me a glass.

I took it, and after briefly touching my glass to his, we both drank.

It tasted worse than it smelled and burned a path down my throat and into my chest before setting my stomach on fire.

Chewie let out a contented sigh and uncorked the bottle, filling our glasses again. "I will not waste time asking pointless questions about whether or not you love her. That much was obvious the night you brought her here, after the battle of Hoth. And it's even more apparent that she loves you." He lifted his glass."I'm genuinely happy for you and your mate."

I grabbed up my glass. "Thank you."

He tapped his glass to mine and we turned them both up, drinking.

I couldn't hide my grimace as I was again set ablaze.

"However," He said, uncorking his bottle again. "I am eager to hear of how exactly you will make this work." He filled our glasses.

My eyebrows pulled together. "Excuse me?"

He sighed, replacing the cork. "You plan on staying with The First Order?"

My answer was a low, short "Yes."

"And so everyone in this galaxy will see you confirm your Bond with her. Will see her verified as your mate." His violet eyes hardened. "And, you will effectively let your enemies know that to own you they would just need to get a hold of her. "

I blinked. I was expecting him to bring up our obvious status differences, maybe make a comparison between us and my parents, but this?

"Dear One is not a princess to be locked in a tower." He went on. "But your need to protect her cannot easily be ignored."

I shook my head. "Rey doesn't need me to protect her."

Chewie picked up his glass and bid me to pick up mine.

I obeyed.

"You were always such a shitty liar. Glad to see some things never change." He toasted, and drank.

I grinned despite myself and turned my drink up, forcing the liquor down.

He uncorked his bottle. "Whether or not Dear One will need protecting isn't a question." He filled our glasses again. "Your enemies will come for her. It's just a matter of time."

I let out a breath. "I know."

"And when they do?" He asked, replacing the cork.

"Anyone who makes the mistake of touching her will meet an end befitting a traitor who's wronged his Queen." I picked up my glass. "And after Rey is done killing them, I'll grind their bones to dust."

He smiled widely, clinked his glass to mine, and we both drank.

I'd made the mistake of being too protective, and it had nearly cost me my mate. I wasn't going to make that same mistake twice. Loving Rey meant letting her be her own person, and letting her make her own mistakes. She was my mate, and soon to be my wife, but what she was to me didn't define her.

Chewie refilled our glasses. "Why have you decided to stay with The First Order? Surely it would be more appealing to set up a more permanent homestead."

"Of course we want that." I assured him. "Rey wants a home, and I plan on giving her one, but we can't walk away, not yet."

I told him about the children we'd found, about the trafficking id already put a stop to, and the plan to return those that we could to their families.

He listened intently, then picked up his glass. I copied the movement, and we threw the drinks back.

He laced his fingers together on the table in front of him. "And children of your own?"

I pursed my lips. "It's a little early for that, don't you think?"

Chewie shrugged, the movement barely noticeable under his heavy fur. "As your wife and mate, she will be expected to bear your children."

"Rey is not expected to bear my anything." I growled, sudden anger making my tone sharper than I meant, and I sighed. "When we can leave the first order, and when it's safe, if she wants them, sure. But right now the focus needs to be on the children already on the Finalizer."

He uncorked his bottle and filled our glasses. "When that time comes, it will be celebrated as well."

I smiled, clinking my glass with his, and we turned our drinks back, draining them in a single gulp.

I picked up the bottle and uncorked it, then filled our glasses again. "Hopefully, you'll join us. Not just when we say our vows, but for all of it." I picked up his glass and offered it to him. "Uncle."

He stared at the drink in my hand, his eyes a swirling pool of conflict. "Everytime I see you, I see what you did." He said at length and his voice and my heart broke. "But I also see the boy that I helped raise, and I see the man that you've become. I see how Dear One is changing you, and I see that you're trying to be better. That you're Ben, and I love you as if you were my own Pup, but-"

I could've sworn I saw his bottom lip tremble.

"I don't think I can forgive you." He said, brokenly.

"I can't forgive me either." I confessed, putting his glass down. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness, or for you to forget, or for you to even understand. Because I can't forget and I don't fully understand why I-"

The memory of Hans' face lit with the red glow of my lightsaber literally stole my breath from me, and I took a moment to compose myself.

I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat. "I would like for you to be at the wedding, if not for me, for Rey."

He picked up his glass and slammed it back. "I'll be at your wedding." He promised, wincing. "And, I want to be a part of your lives, I just…." He sighed. "I need time."

I nodded in understanding. "Alright."

"Now," He said, uncorking the bottle. "I'd very much like to get back to celebrating your engagement."

oOo

Rey

It was nearly midnight when I heard the front door open, and I sat straight up in bed.

I heard murmuring, then the shuffle of foot steps, the scrape of wood on the floor as the hall table was hit and then glass shattered.

I threw off the blanket, got up, quickly walked out of the room, and flicked on the light in the hall.

Ben blinked, and when his eyes adjusted, he looked at me and frowned. "I broke that."

I noticed the heap of broken shards at his feet. "What was it?"

"Very expensive, I'm sure." He stepped over the mess and teetered, bringing a hand up to brace against the wall.

I stepped toward him.

"Dont." He said. "You're barefooted, and there's glass." He steadied himself and walked to me, nearly tripping twice more on his way down the hall.

He cleared his throat and bent down to kiss me swiftly on my forehead, then went into his bedroom, and fell onto the bed.

"What's wrong?" I asked from the doorway.

"I'm fine." He sat up, moved to take off his boots, and fell forward, catching himself mere inches from the floor.

I crossed my arms over my chest, watching as he sat upright and scowled at his boots. "Are you drunk?"

He scoffed, waving his hand dismissively, and then he fell back onto the mattress. "Yeah." He groaned.

I went to him and tugged his right boot off, then his left, dropping them both to the floor. I unclasped his belt. "I need you to sit up."

He pushed himself into a sitting position, and I pulled his belt free of the loops, and when I lifted his tunic up over his head, I found him staring at me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You're so pretty." He breathed, awestruck.

I laughed, thinking he must be more intoxicated than I'd thought. "Are you going to sleep in your pants tonight?"

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Are you offering to take them off?"

I laughed again, and nodded. "Only so that we can sleep." I unbuttoned his pants, and pulled down his zipper. "Can you get them off?"

He was able to, and laid down.

After pulling the blanket up to cover him, I laid down next to him and he curled around me, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me to him.

"Promise you'll tell me tomorrow?" I asked.

He hummed, already nearly asleep.

I nestled into the mattress, moving as much as his grip would allow in an attempt to get comfortable.

"Rey?" He called, and I stopped, sure he was going to ask me to be still, but he moved his head to look up at me, his soulful eyes pleading. "I'm sorry I threw you against that tree." Then his eyes fell closed, and he went limp next to me, snoring softly.